1 00:00:03,961 --> 00:00:05,561 I can't believe we still haven't told them. 2 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,217 I guess it just was never the right time. 3 00:00:08,288 --> 00:00:11,122 Well, I guess we're simply out of time. 4 00:00:13,159 --> 00:00:16,460 - You're on with Schmidt and Cece. - Ruth's on! 5 00:00:16,529 --> 00:00:18,313 Hey, you're on with Jess and Nick. I'm patching in 6 00:00:18,338 --> 00:00:19,722 Winston, Aly and Dan Bill. 7 00:00:19,799 --> 00:00:21,299 Are we really calling him Dan Bill? 8 00:00:21,367 --> 00:00:23,367 It sounds like a weird town in Connecticut. 9 00:00:23,436 --> 00:00:25,636 It's their child. Their mistake to make, okay? 10 00:00:25,704 --> 00:00:28,072 Mm. That's a nice touch. 11 00:00:28,141 --> 00:00:29,640 Yeah, good vibe, good vibe. 12 00:00:29,708 --> 00:00:31,898 - Hella? - It's Jess and Nick. 13 00:00:31,945 --> 00:00:33,977 I'm patching in Schmidt, Cece and Ruth. 14 00:00:34,046 --> 00:00:37,115 Cece, Schmidt and Ruth, you're on with Jess, Nick, 15 00:00:37,146 --> 00:00:38,315 Winston, Aly and Dan Bill. 16 00:00:38,383 --> 00:00:40,150 - Hey, Jess, Nick, Dan Bill... - Hey, Winston, Dan Bill... 17 00:00:40,218 --> 00:00:41,284 - Winston and Aly. - Jess and Nick. 18 00:00:41,353 --> 00:00:42,786 Who are these people? 19 00:00:42,855 --> 00:00:44,154 Hey, Schmidt, Cece, Ruth, Jess and Nick. 20 00:00:44,222 --> 00:00:45,322 Guys, I only have the strength 21 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:46,957 to say this once. 22 00:00:47,025 --> 00:00:48,659 Here I go. 23 00:00:48,727 --> 00:00:50,660 Oh, God, how do I put this into words? 24 00:00:50,728 --> 00:00:53,496 Okay, make it quick, 'cause my phone is at four percent, 25 00:00:53,565 --> 00:00:55,776 and Ruth has turned my charger into a very sensible belt. 26 00:00:55,808 --> 00:00:57,972 Schmidt, just switch your phone to low battery mode. 27 00:00:58,026 --> 00:00:59,433 It really lengthens battery life. 28 00:00:59,457 --> 00:01:00,504 How do you do that? Walk me through it. 29 00:01:00,505 --> 00:01:02,372 - Go to Utilities. - No, no, Settings. Go to Settings. 30 00:01:02,432 --> 00:01:03,445 Okay, well, I'm-I'm in Settings. 31 00:01:03,484 --> 00:01:05,248 - Guys, please... - Oh, shoot. Now I'm at three percent. 32 00:01:05,308 --> 00:01:06,906 I have something important to say! 33 00:01:06,931 --> 00:01:08,410 And then, uh, open your Control Center. 34 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,045 - Battery. Select Battery. - Enough! 35 00:01:10,114 --> 00:01:11,280 - Oh, no, I got it. - Jess has something really important 36 00:01:11,349 --> 00:01:13,716 to say, so everybody shut up! 37 00:01:15,587 --> 00:01:17,286 Jess, go ahead. 38 00:01:19,017 --> 00:01:21,056 I can't tell you this over the phone. 39 00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:22,958 Get over here before it's too late. 40 00:01:23,027 --> 00:01:24,460 She can tell you, she can tell you. Go ahead. 41 00:01:24,528 --> 00:01:26,462 - Bye. - Oh! What a waste of... 42 00:01:26,530 --> 00:01:28,697 Good job. 43 00:01:28,765 --> 00:01:30,232 - What is it? - You're getting divorced? 44 00:01:30,301 --> 00:01:31,467 Well, that lasted a month. 45 00:01:31,535 --> 00:01:33,743 What? No! Jess, go ahead. 46 00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:36,938 I hate to be the bearer of truly terrible news... 47 00:01:37,008 --> 00:01:38,640 Jess, can you please tell us? I'm so scared. 48 00:01:38,709 --> 00:01:40,642 You should be. This is... 49 00:01:40,711 --> 00:01:42,978 this is life-changing stuff. 50 00:01:43,046 --> 00:01:44,546 Brace yourselves. 51 00:01:44,615 --> 00:01:47,549 Nick and I are... 52 00:01:48,201 --> 00:01:49,918 moving out of the loft. 53 00:01:52,784 --> 00:01:54,517 - That's it? - Okay. 54 00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:55,723 That's what you called us here for? 55 00:01:55,791 --> 00:01:57,558 Why do you always think like a character 56 00:01:57,627 --> 00:01:58,946 in The Baby-Sitters Club? 57 00:01:58,971 --> 00:02:01,648 Okay, okay, you guys process this however you need to. 58 00:02:01,673 --> 00:02:03,498 You're probably wondering why we would ever move out 59 00:02:03,566 --> 00:02:05,728 - in the first place. - Yeah, honey, you should've moved out 60 00:02:05,753 --> 00:02:07,068 when the elevator plunged into the basement 61 00:02:07,137 --> 00:02:09,448 - and killed the mailman. - We got an eviction notice. 62 00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:11,572 They're kicking us out in 24 hours. 63 00:02:11,641 --> 00:02:14,742 Some evil company called Engram Pattersky Management Group 64 00:02:14,810 --> 00:02:16,243 bought the building. 65 00:02:16,311 --> 00:02:19,914 Yeah, they're kicking us out on our... "too-tookuses." 66 00:02:19,982 --> 00:02:21,248 You trying to say "tuchases"? 67 00:02:21,316 --> 00:02:22,583 "Tuchaseses." 68 00:02:22,652 --> 00:02:24,184 - "Tuchas"? - "Tookases." 69 00:02:24,253 --> 00:02:27,170 Luckily, Nick and I found a very nice two-bedroom 70 00:02:27,201 --> 00:02:29,523 with a lovely reading nook. That doesn't matter. 71 00:02:29,591 --> 00:02:31,191 The point is, we're moving out tomorrow, 72 00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:33,360 and I know how much this place means to you guys, so... 73 00:02:33,436 --> 00:02:35,936 whatever you're thinking or feeling, 74 00:02:35,997 --> 00:02:37,684 I want you to get it out. 75 00:02:37,770 --> 00:02:39,388 So whoever wants to go first... 76 00:02:43,177 --> 00:02:45,536 Okay, I don't think you guys fully heard me. 77 00:02:46,356 --> 00:02:48,948 So I'm gonna say it again. 78 00:02:48,974 --> 00:02:50,543 Nick and I are m... 79 00:02:50,612 --> 00:02:53,872 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 80 00:02:53,949 --> 00:02:55,281 ...moving out of the loft. 81 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,449 Okay, if you're moving out tomorrow, 82 00:02:56,517 --> 00:02:57,784 why have you not packed yet? 83 00:02:57,852 --> 00:02:59,953 Don't packing-shame us! We're well on our way. 84 00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:01,720 We got four boxes right there. 85 00:03:01,775 --> 00:03:03,539 I ran out of tape, so I started using glue. 86 00:03:03,564 --> 00:03:04,390 We'll see how it holds up. 87 00:03:04,459 --> 00:03:07,126 Cool. Anyway, uh, I'm taking off. 88 00:03:07,202 --> 00:03:08,434 Hey, let me know when you have the housewarming 89 00:03:08,496 --> 00:03:10,296 for your new place. I'll bring the succulents. 90 00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:12,565 You never brought us succulents. We love succulents. 91 00:03:12,633 --> 00:03:15,041 Ah, you got me. I don't know what a succulent is. 92 00:03:15,066 --> 00:03:16,969 I just said that so I can get the hell out of here. 93 00:03:17,037 --> 00:03:18,403 But I really do got 94 00:03:18,472 --> 00:03:21,139 to get going. It's my turn to nurse the baby. 95 00:03:21,208 --> 00:03:22,975 - How does he... - It's a whole thing. 96 00:03:23,043 --> 00:03:25,941 Wow, you guys are in so much denial. You're so upset 97 00:03:25,966 --> 00:03:27,879 by this news that you're distracting yourself 98 00:03:27,948 --> 00:03:31,650 with nonsense like-like succulents and newborn babies. 99 00:03:31,719 --> 00:03:34,762 Uh, we left Ruth with our neighbor's stepson, Yonk, 100 00:03:34,801 --> 00:03:35,820 so we're gonna go. 101 00:03:35,888 --> 00:03:37,522 Yeah, honey, we're not in denial, okay? 102 00:03:37,591 --> 00:03:39,524 We've just done everything we need to do in this loft. 103 00:03:39,593 --> 00:03:40,992 We're ready to say good-bye. 104 00:03:41,060 --> 00:03:43,761 Right. Right. Yeah. 105 00:03:44,561 --> 00:03:47,705 Yeah, Cece, you're right. You're totally right. You're all... 106 00:03:48,046 --> 00:03:49,700 totally right. 107 00:03:49,769 --> 00:03:51,535 Or are you wrong?! 108 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:55,339 Nobody leaves until we celebrate this place! 109 00:03:56,221 --> 00:03:58,009 Okay? So call your sitters, call your babies, 110 00:03:58,077 --> 00:03:59,944 get all your affairs in order. 111 00:04:00,013 --> 00:04:02,418 I'm gonna go open a bottle of wine. Pink okay? 112 00:04:02,457 --> 00:04:05,616 Well, I guess I'll call Yonk and tell him to get cozy. 113 00:04:05,685 --> 00:04:07,717 Ugh, I can hear Yonk now. 114 00:04:07,786 --> 00:04:09,353 "Mr. Schmidt, I got thirsty. 115 00:04:09,421 --> 00:04:11,021 I drank all your coconut water." 116 00:04:11,089 --> 00:04:12,922 Freakin' Yonk. 117 00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,891 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 118 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,027 Okay, why are we hiding in your office? 119 00:04:17,095 --> 00:04:18,862 Because, guys, look, I love my wife. 120 00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:21,064 You guys know that I love my wife. But she's clearly going 121 00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:23,467 through something about us leaving the loft. It's like... 122 00:04:23,536 --> 00:04:25,735 it's like she's having a really hard time getting her mouth 123 00:04:25,804 --> 00:04:27,570 around the sandwich, do you know what I mean? 124 00:04:27,639 --> 00:04:29,973 If you guys want to get out of here, which I know you do, 125 00:04:30,042 --> 00:04:32,275 then you will laugh when she says laugh, 126 00:04:32,343 --> 00:04:34,944 you will cry when she says cry, 127 00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,746 and in between, we're gonna pack. 128 00:04:36,822 --> 00:04:38,488 I really miss the old days when I would just drop in 129 00:04:38,550 --> 00:04:40,883 every now and then and pick up a suitcase or something. 130 00:04:40,951 --> 00:04:42,985 I only have the moving truck for 24 hours. 131 00:04:43,054 --> 00:04:44,587 If I go one minute over, 132 00:04:44,656 --> 00:04:47,256 those bastards will charge me for a whole nother day. 133 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:50,107 If you get a whole nother day, might as well get a second week. 134 00:04:50,161 --> 00:04:53,253 You get a second week, you might as well buy the truck, 135 00:04:53,278 --> 00:04:55,764 'cause you're livin' in it, Charlie! You live in a mo... 136 00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:58,667 The point I'm trying to make is we need to pack right now. 137 00:04:58,736 --> 00:05:00,102 I love packing. 138 00:05:00,171 --> 00:05:01,937 You wouldn't believe how good I am 139 00:05:02,006 --> 00:05:04,940 at fitting multiple things into small spaces. 140 00:05:05,009 --> 00:05:07,109 I'm a bento box boy. 141 00:05:07,821 --> 00:05:10,287 - What's in that box? - What? 142 00:05:10,312 --> 00:05:12,546 What's the box that says "gross stuff," man? 143 00:05:13,017 --> 00:05:14,683 Jessica's underpants. 144 00:05:15,265 --> 00:05:17,018 You have Jess's panties in a box? 145 00:05:17,087 --> 00:05:20,054 Well, while I'm delighted 146 00:05:20,123 --> 00:05:22,290 that you have a box... 147 00:05:22,359 --> 00:05:25,126 labeled "gross stuff" of your wife's... 148 00:05:25,195 --> 00:05:27,128 undergarments, uh, 149 00:05:27,197 --> 00:05:30,297 I also feel like you may be lying to me. 150 00:05:30,366 --> 00:05:32,817 Yoo-hoo, guys! Yoo-hoo! 151 00:05:32,903 --> 00:05:35,106 Yoo-frickin'-hoo! 152 00:05:35,153 --> 00:05:37,705 Just remember, if you want to get out of here, play along. 153 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,377 Behold! 154 00:05:50,426 --> 00:05:52,986 Objects from your past to make you remember and... 155 00:05:53,055 --> 00:05:55,028 Oh, God, the chair is still spinning. Oh, my God. 156 00:05:55,075 --> 00:05:56,490 You guys, I'm on a dolly. 157 00:05:56,559 --> 00:05:58,125 I'm on a greased up dolly, and I'm holding fire. 158 00:05:58,193 --> 00:05:59,893 Guys, guys, guys, guys... 159 00:06:00,353 --> 00:06:02,440 If we scatter now, one of us can get out 160 00:06:02,498 --> 00:06:04,297 and bring help for the rest. 161 00:06:05,946 --> 00:06:07,421 Take in the memories. 162 00:06:07,478 --> 00:06:09,797 Let these objects be the milkshake 163 00:06:09,861 --> 00:06:12,603 that bring your memory boys to the emotion yard. 164 00:06:12,666 --> 00:06:14,299 - I swore we threw all this stuff away. - Wow, I can't believe you 165 00:06:14,381 --> 00:06:17,418 - saved all this stuff. How cool is that? - But we're really happy it's back. 166 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,637 - We're all really happy. Thank you. - Yeah. 167 00:06:18,705 --> 00:06:20,405 I knew you guys needed to say good-bye. 168 00:06:20,474 --> 00:06:22,878 Isn't it amazing how easy it is 169 00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:25,737 to do the right thing when you have no other alternative? 170 00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,016 Totally. 171 00:06:27,085 --> 00:06:28,784 Like this. 172 00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:30,987 Ah, the old loft candy dish. 173 00:06:32,524 --> 00:06:34,629 That's the cast from when I broke my penis. 174 00:06:34,653 --> 00:06:36,362 Shut up! 175 00:06:36,387 --> 00:06:38,194 You know, most people wouldn't want to revisit 176 00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:40,397 some of the more painful moments in their lives, but, 177 00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:42,866 you know what, Jess, thank you for this, 'cause I do. 178 00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:45,568 - Thank you. - Oh, Schmidt, you take that. 179 00:06:45,636 --> 00:06:47,303 You're gonna want it. 180 00:06:47,372 --> 00:06:50,173 Honestly, it's your penis. You earned it. 181 00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:51,413 - Put it in your purse. - Excuse me? 182 00:06:51,437 --> 00:06:53,067 - Go put it in your purse. - I am not putting it in my purse. 183 00:06:53,092 --> 00:06:54,844 - Please, Cece, just put it in your purse. - I am not gonna go put it... 184 00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:56,512 - We'll just leave it here. - We'll put it right there. 185 00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:57,887 Remember this? 186 00:06:57,911 --> 00:06:59,878 Oh! Looks just like us! 187 00:06:59,903 --> 00:07:02,585 - We always pose like that. - Can we talk about those skin tones? 188 00:07:02,653 --> 00:07:05,320 Oh, Nick, this one is so special. 189 00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:07,356 - Wow. - The wand I used to fix the, uh, 190 00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:09,224 garbage disposal. That one time. 191 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,145 Did we find the garbage wand 192 00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:13,138 or did the garbage wand find us? 193 00:07:13,185 --> 00:07:15,283 I remember the day I found it. I thought, 194 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,884 "Free stick." 195 00:07:16,954 --> 00:07:18,320 - Ha! - Then I brought it home, 196 00:07:18,388 --> 00:07:20,155 and it fit into the sink hole. 197 00:07:20,223 --> 00:07:21,456 - Mm. - And somewhere along 198 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,825 the way, it fixed my heart hole. 199 00:07:23,893 --> 00:07:26,294 - It fixed your heart hole? - So, thank you, stick. 200 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,553 - Okay. - I have a tear. 201 00:07:27,578 --> 00:07:29,164 - That about sums it up. - Yeah. 202 00:07:29,232 --> 00:07:30,498 Jess, I will never, 203 00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:32,367 ever forget the night that you brought us 204 00:07:32,436 --> 00:07:35,202 all together to show us a bunch of our old trash. 205 00:07:35,271 --> 00:07:36,678 - We should let you pack. - Okay. 206 00:07:36,703 --> 00:07:37,898 - Thank you. - Thank you so... 207 00:07:37,922 --> 00:07:39,194 - No! - Huh? 208 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,669 No one's going anywhere. 209 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,009 We're gonna do all the things in the loft 210 00:07:42,078 --> 00:07:43,177 that we haven't done before. 211 00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:45,637 Like what? 212 00:07:45,949 --> 00:07:47,515 I can't believe we've never all stood out 213 00:07:47,584 --> 00:07:49,016 on the balcony together. 214 00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:51,852 You know who else liked balconies? Hitler. 215 00:07:51,928 --> 00:07:53,962 Let's go inside. Let's do more things. 216 00:07:54,023 --> 00:07:56,857 I can't believe you've never cleaned the oven, Cece. 217 00:07:56,925 --> 00:08:00,627 I think, I think if we just do this, 218 00:08:00,696 --> 00:08:02,963 and this, and turn it up real high... 219 00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:05,132 I heard that that could work. 220 00:08:05,201 --> 00:08:06,466 Yeah. What else should we do? 221 00:08:06,535 --> 00:08:08,401 We could all just pack and move Jess and I 222 00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:10,704 out of the loft; we've never done that. 223 00:08:10,772 --> 00:08:12,739 It's a joke. It's a joke for sentimentals. 224 00:08:12,808 --> 00:08:15,215 - It's a sentimental joke. - Oh. I know. 225 00:08:15,246 --> 00:08:16,242 Th-This is a big one. 226 00:08:16,311 --> 00:08:17,924 You know, I've never looked around the corner, 227 00:08:17,971 --> 00:08:20,054 in the hallway past the bathroom. Like, what's over there? 228 00:08:20,115 --> 00:08:21,381 Oh my God, what is over there? 229 00:08:21,449 --> 00:08:22,748 - What is over there? - Yeah. 230 00:08:22,791 --> 00:08:24,884 - Whose team are you on? - I play for myself. 231 00:08:28,156 --> 00:08:29,755 It's just a wall. 232 00:08:29,824 --> 00:08:33,059 My turn. Cece and I need to use the urinals. 233 00:08:33,128 --> 00:08:34,593 Follow me. 234 00:08:36,531 --> 00:08:38,264 Oh, n-n-no, no, no, no, no. 235 00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:40,265 You just opened Pantera's box. 236 00:08:40,334 --> 00:08:42,077 We do not have time for this right now. 237 00:08:42,132 --> 00:08:43,777 We will get in... 238 00:08:52,376 --> 00:08:53,612 Peppermint lotion? 239 00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:56,014 It's for your feet. 240 00:08:57,584 --> 00:08:59,117 Yay. I love it. 241 00:08:59,186 --> 00:09:00,585 I knew it! 242 00:09:00,654 --> 00:09:02,687 - Nailed it. - Great gift. 243 00:09:02,756 --> 00:09:03,938 Oh, I'm gonna get you one every year. 244 00:09:03,963 --> 00:09:05,524 And we're gonna be best friends forever. 245 00:09:05,592 --> 00:09:06,791 I just met you, like, a week ago. 246 00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:09,428 Uh, just 'cause it says "peppermint," 247 00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:11,096 non-edible. 248 00:09:11,165 --> 00:09:13,598 I never would have thought to eat this lotion. 249 00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:15,934 Nicholas, I have been giving you that lotion 250 00:09:16,002 --> 00:09:18,258 - every year since we met. - I know. 251 00:09:18,313 --> 00:09:21,105 I wanted you to experience soft feet for once in your life, 252 00:09:21,174 --> 00:09:24,633 - and you... and you lied to me. - What did you want me to do? 253 00:09:24,688 --> 00:09:26,962 I had just met you when you first gave it to me. 254 00:09:27,032 --> 00:09:29,947 Then you actually gave me the lotion again the following year. 255 00:09:30,015 --> 00:09:32,616 And the lie got on top of me. And now I got all these bottles 256 00:09:32,685 --> 00:09:34,452 of lotion and I don't even know how to do this stuff. 257 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,753 You don't know how to "do" foot lotion? 258 00:09:36,822 --> 00:09:38,722 What if I put it on and my feet get... 259 00:09:38,791 --> 00:09:41,292 I don't know, too wet and creamy? 260 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,961 Has everything been a lie? Has this whole relationship...? 261 00:09:44,029 --> 00:09:45,662 Don't call it a relationship, it's a friendship. 262 00:09:45,731 --> 00:09:48,198 Don't belittle what we have by calling it a friendship. 263 00:09:48,266 --> 00:09:50,441 - No, please. - Oh, we don't love each other in Chicago. 264 00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:51,802 We're just friends. 265 00:09:51,870 --> 00:09:54,137 Please, just get over this and help me pack. 266 00:09:54,206 --> 00:09:55,739 Sure. You've lied to me for years, 267 00:09:55,808 --> 00:09:57,975 but let's just ignore it so I can help you pack 268 00:09:58,043 --> 00:09:59,476 while humoring your wife 269 00:09:59,544 --> 00:10:01,478 - pretending to care. - What? 270 00:10:02,914 --> 00:10:04,914 You guys were humoring me? 271 00:10:04,983 --> 00:10:08,017 Nick, you told everyone to pretend to care? 272 00:10:08,086 --> 00:10:10,886 Jess, it's not about that. It's about the truck. 273 00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:12,989 I didn't want to go a minute over the 24 hours, 274 00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:15,057 because then I, you know, I need to pay for a second day. 275 00:10:15,127 --> 00:10:16,726 Jess. 276 00:10:16,794 --> 00:10:18,995 Wait, Jess. I'm sorry. 277 00:10:19,063 --> 00:10:22,331 You guys were just playing along with this? 278 00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:25,701 I thought you were just starting to feel something. 279 00:10:25,770 --> 00:10:29,866 Wait. Am I the one who's in denial about leaving this place? 280 00:10:29,944 --> 00:10:32,708 Ugh, you sweet, goblin-eyed dum-dum. 281 00:10:32,777 --> 00:10:33,843 Babe, I think the rest of us 282 00:10:33,911 --> 00:10:36,011 have already made peace with this. 283 00:10:36,079 --> 00:10:37,779 No, I get it. 284 00:10:37,848 --> 00:10:39,515 I'm not mad. I just... 285 00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:42,017 People live together in apartments all the time. 286 00:10:42,085 --> 00:10:44,520 And you guys have lives and kids. 287 00:10:44,588 --> 00:10:47,022 And this is just a place. 288 00:10:47,090 --> 00:10:49,724 But to me, this is the place where I met all of you. 289 00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:51,026 And that's... 290 00:10:51,094 --> 00:10:53,361 ...that's the best thing that... 291 00:10:53,429 --> 00:10:55,196 that ever happened to me, so... 292 00:10:56,099 --> 00:10:58,199 Consider yourselves freed. 293 00:10:59,602 --> 00:11:01,810 The lock never really worked, anyway. 294 00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,075 Put that down. 295 00:11:08,144 --> 00:11:09,877 We are not going anywhere. 296 00:11:09,945 --> 00:11:12,277 Yeah, we're gonna say good-bye all day. 297 00:11:12,308 --> 00:11:13,410 All day. 298 00:11:13,434 --> 00:11:14,931 - All day! - What? 299 00:11:14,956 --> 00:11:16,377 - That's not it. - You don't say it like that. 300 00:11:16,402 --> 00:11:17,931 It's like, all day. 301 00:11:17,956 --> 00:11:19,252 - All... - All day! 302 00:11:19,277 --> 00:11:21,778 Guys, second day 303 00:11:21,846 --> 00:11:25,135 - of a moving truck on me. - There we go. 304 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,348 - That's a big step. - Thank you. 305 00:11:26,417 --> 00:11:28,284 But I'm not doing the insurance. I won't do it. I can't do it. 306 00:11:28,352 --> 00:11:30,058 - It's a rip-off. It's a freakin' rip-off. - Chill, chill, bro. 307 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,333 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ 308 00:11:32,396 --> 00:11:34,023 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ 309 00:11:34,091 --> 00:11:37,028 ♪ It's your favorite bitch, Jess ♪ 310 00:11:37,091 --> 00:11:39,528 ♪ Hang on to your privates 'cause I'm ♪ 311 00:11:39,596 --> 00:11:41,697 ♪ On emotional fy-ahh ♪ 312 00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,234 Don't look so surprised, guys. 313 00:11:46,303 --> 00:11:48,505 You knew what this was. 314 00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:53,326 Ah, we had some times here 315 00:11:53,373 --> 00:11:55,943 - Mmm. - I mean this, right here, 316 00:11:55,999 --> 00:11:58,546 right where I'm sitting, is the exact spot 317 00:11:58,577 --> 00:12:02,603 that I realized: I should have less salt in my diet. 318 00:12:03,475 --> 00:12:05,839 I should have less salt in my diet. 319 00:12:05,908 --> 00:12:08,141 That's beautiful, man. Stay healthy, baby. 320 00:12:08,171 --> 00:12:10,538 - Good memories. - Oh, my God. 321 00:12:10,607 --> 00:12:14,175 This is the spot, where, for the weirdest minute of my life, 322 00:12:14,244 --> 00:12:16,578 I was super attracted to Winston. 323 00:12:16,647 --> 00:12:18,246 - No. - We've all been there. 324 00:12:18,315 --> 00:12:19,648 It was my swimmer's body. 325 00:12:19,716 --> 00:12:22,083 Ooh. Ooh, hey. 326 00:12:22,152 --> 00:12:24,485 Yeah, they got me on bike duty today. 327 00:12:24,553 --> 00:12:26,353 My hammies need to get into some jammies 328 00:12:26,422 --> 00:12:29,277 because they are rock-hard. 329 00:12:30,808 --> 00:12:32,493 Yes. 330 00:12:32,569 --> 00:12:35,027 Oh, yeah. That's good stuff. 331 00:12:35,106 --> 00:12:38,332 You feel that? You hear that? Yeah. 332 00:12:38,401 --> 00:12:40,501 - Oh! - No! 333 00:12:40,569 --> 00:12:41,902 Oh, it went away pretty quick. 334 00:12:44,071 --> 00:12:45,871 I tore my anus. 335 00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:48,541 I tore my anus. Oh. 336 00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:52,077 I was sitting right here when I first introduced you guys 337 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,246 to my hilarious baby voice. 338 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:58,217 Uh-oh, look who just woke up. 339 00:12:58,286 --> 00:13:01,383 I'm a baby. 340 00:13:01,422 --> 00:13:02,754 I'm a baby 341 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,357 and I need my milkie. Where's my Ba-ba? 342 00:13:05,426 --> 00:13:07,392 - What are you doing? - Put that baby away. 343 00:13:07,461 --> 00:13:09,528 Babies can't talk. It's inherently flawed. 344 00:13:09,596 --> 00:13:11,643 And that's where I met you for the first time. 345 00:13:11,674 --> 00:13:12,913 - Aw. - I remember you said 346 00:13:12,969 --> 00:13:15,157 that was one of your top five boners of all time. 347 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,641 Do you remember you used to rank them? 348 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:19,297 - Be quiet. - It's just foot lotion. 349 00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:25,069 And right over there is where Cece and I 350 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,537 had our first mess around. 351 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:27,772 What? Don't tell them. 352 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,173 It's time for the mess around 353 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,975 to become the confess around. 354 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:33,410 - ♪ Ain't nobody ♪ - ♪ Nobody ♪ 355 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,853 - ♪ Loves me better ♪ - ♪ Loves me better ♪ 356 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,514 ♪ Makes me happy ♪ 357 00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:40,617 - ♪ Makes me feel this way ♪ - ♪ Nobody ♪ 358 00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:42,083 - ♪ Ain't nobody ♪ - ♪ Ain't nobody 359 00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:43,153 Wait, wait, wait. 360 00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:47,754 Is that a paper plate covered with brown marker to look like floor? 361 00:13:47,817 --> 00:13:48,879 - Yeah. - That's what that is. 362 00:13:48,926 --> 00:13:50,730 - Yeah, yeah. Hmm? - Cece? 363 00:13:50,777 --> 00:13:52,962 If you weren't wearing those dumb-ass shoes, 364 00:13:53,031 --> 00:13:56,733 and I hadn't just gotten that new dope Chaka Khan CD-ROM... 365 00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:59,803 - It was dope as hell. - You would not have become my girl. 366 00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,971 - Babe. - Babe. Don't. 367 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,775 - Babe. - Babe. You better stop. 368 00:14:05,288 --> 00:14:08,244 - Babe. Babe. - Mmm. Mm-mmm. 369 00:14:08,313 --> 00:14:09,578 No. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna cry. 370 00:14:09,647 --> 00:14:11,915 There' no point. Nobody said nothing about no crying. 371 00:14:11,969 --> 00:14:13,983 - That's not what this is. - No, no crying. 372 00:14:15,887 --> 00:14:17,353 Wait. Where is Nick? 373 00:14:17,407 --> 00:14:19,488 Clearly, he doesn't like all of this emotion. 374 00:14:19,557 --> 00:14:21,719 He doesn't have a heart in that butter tub 375 00:14:21,774 --> 00:14:23,025 he calls a body anyway. 376 00:14:23,093 --> 00:14:26,161 - He doesn't care about spots. - I'm in here! 377 00:14:30,134 --> 00:14:33,168 You think I don't got spots? I got spots. 378 00:14:33,237 --> 00:14:35,602 "Have." Have spots. 379 00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:37,239 Sorry. Go, keep go... 380 00:14:37,308 --> 00:14:39,615 This spot right here is where my best friend Schmidt and I 381 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:40,912 moved a couch in. 382 00:14:40,937 --> 00:14:42,277 That happened in the living room, Nick. 383 00:14:42,346 --> 00:14:43,778 I know, I just don't want to get up. 384 00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:45,647 You got it? You got it? 385 00:14:45,715 --> 00:14:47,149 I got it. I'm good, I'm good, I'm cool. 386 00:14:47,217 --> 00:14:48,450 I got it. 387 00:14:48,518 --> 00:14:50,819 Houston, we got an "I got it." 388 00:14:52,887 --> 00:14:54,784 Sheesh. 389 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,091 Sitting pretty close to each other, 390 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,693 - don't you think? - Oh, sorry. 391 00:14:59,292 --> 00:15:01,362 Thanks. 392 00:15:01,431 --> 00:15:03,386 Lot of cool stuff's gonna happen in this loft, huh? 393 00:15:03,425 --> 00:15:04,581 You're telling me, man. 394 00:15:04,643 --> 00:15:06,601 What do you think's gonna happen here in the next... 395 00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:08,035 chunk of our lives? 396 00:15:08,104 --> 00:15:10,204 I don't know. I meet a nice lady. 397 00:15:10,726 --> 00:15:12,673 She wants to have a baby with me. 398 00:15:12,741 --> 00:15:13,874 What does she look like? 399 00:15:13,943 --> 00:15:15,042 Sexy. 400 00:15:15,111 --> 00:15:16,944 Keep going. Right off the jack. 401 00:15:17,013 --> 00:15:19,034 Just, like, you know, like, shows up, 402 00:15:19,059 --> 00:15:19,947 but, like, casually. 403 00:15:20,016 --> 00:15:21,028 - You know what I mean? Like... - Yeah. 404 00:15:21,082 --> 00:15:23,250 wearing a beanie and, like, a little hoodie. 405 00:15:23,319 --> 00:15:24,551 You know what I mean? 406 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,320 Like, sort of, like, an orangish-red hoodie. 407 00:15:32,194 --> 00:15:34,795 Anyway, man, I just wanted to say, uh... 408 00:15:36,064 --> 00:15:37,297 Oh. 409 00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:39,332 ...all thanks. 410 00:15:39,401 --> 00:15:40,950 I'm done. 411 00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:42,669 Well, it's just lotion. It ain't gonna hurt you, now. 412 00:15:42,738 --> 00:15:44,716 Yeah, go ahead. Slap it in there. 413 00:15:45,874 --> 00:15:48,674 Wow, it's so frickin' creamy. 414 00:15:48,743 --> 00:15:49,842 This is what I've been telling you. 415 00:15:49,911 --> 00:15:52,178 It's really cool. 416 00:15:52,247 --> 00:15:54,656 It actually kind of feels nice. 417 00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:57,484 I mean, I got to say, I really like foot lotion. 418 00:15:57,552 --> 00:15:58,518 Thank you. 419 00:15:58,586 --> 00:16:00,620 They should make more foot lotion for your hand. 420 00:16:00,688 --> 00:16:01,754 Foot lotion hand. 421 00:16:01,823 --> 00:16:04,056 Or... foot-lotion hand. 422 00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:05,324 I don't know. 423 00:16:05,393 --> 00:16:06,692 You should use this for elbows. 424 00:16:06,761 --> 00:16:09,328 You should use lotion for dry parts of your skin. 425 00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:12,632 It's really creamy. 426 00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:13,610 For the first time in my life, 427 00:16:13,688 --> 00:16:15,668 I realize my feet could be more than weapons. 428 00:16:15,737 --> 00:16:17,870 I love you, man. 429 00:16:18,972 --> 00:16:20,772 Oh, yeah, that's... 430 00:16:20,841 --> 00:16:22,641 Well, yeah, man. I, uh... 431 00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:24,109 Is he gonna finally say it? 432 00:16:24,178 --> 00:16:25,710 Guys, don't-don't put any pressure on him. 433 00:16:25,779 --> 00:16:27,312 No, what? Dude, you're not putting pressure on me. 434 00:16:27,381 --> 00:16:28,777 - It's something I want to say. - You don't have to say it. 435 00:16:28,832 --> 00:16:30,449 I don't need to say anything. I want to say it. 436 00:16:30,518 --> 00:16:32,465 - You never said it before. - I love you, man. 437 00:16:32,521 --> 00:16:34,533 - Yes! - Are you kidding me right now? 438 00:16:34,599 --> 00:16:36,487 - Go, Nick! - Are you kidding me? 439 00:16:36,557 --> 00:16:38,156 - I love you, man. We're buddies. - Yes! 440 00:16:38,224 --> 00:16:39,190 Really? 441 00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:42,206 Oh, my feet are so creamy. 442 00:16:42,231 --> 00:16:43,761 You were right. This is what it means 443 00:16:43,797 --> 00:16:44,896 to have soft feet, buddy. 444 00:16:44,965 --> 00:16:46,665 Well, I feel good. 445 00:16:46,733 --> 00:16:48,800 I'm ready to say good-bye to 4D. 446 00:16:48,869 --> 00:16:50,168 No, not yet. 447 00:16:50,236 --> 00:16:52,036 W-We've done everything. 448 00:16:53,139 --> 00:16:55,106 There's one more thing. 449 00:16:58,144 --> 00:16:59,877 JFK! 450 00:16:59,946 --> 00:17:01,212 FDR! 451 00:17:02,968 --> 00:17:04,668 FDR! 452 00:17:06,986 --> 00:17:09,797 - Wait for me. I over-lotioned. - Okay, for the last time, 453 00:17:09,870 --> 00:17:11,470 the game is True American. 454 00:17:11,538 --> 00:17:13,783 - We know the rules. - We know one rule. 455 00:17:13,838 --> 00:17:15,407 The floor is lava! 456 00:17:15,476 --> 00:17:17,426 Tonight we play the game with a twist. 457 00:17:17,465 --> 00:17:19,777 It's True American: Packing Edition. 458 00:17:19,846 --> 00:17:21,779 You land on something, you pack it. 459 00:17:21,848 --> 00:17:24,015 - Shotgun tip-off! - Oh! 460 00:17:25,184 --> 00:17:28,260 54-40 or fight! Whoa! 461 00:17:29,355 --> 00:17:31,155 You go, boy! 462 00:17:32,859 --> 00:17:34,825 The middle class is disappearing! 463 00:17:34,894 --> 00:17:36,693 Mama, where's my pa? 464 00:17:36,762 --> 00:17:39,196 He's in the White House. Ha, ha, ha! 465 00:17:39,265 --> 00:17:42,233 I know a fine brothel right to the left. Yah! 466 00:17:42,301 --> 00:17:44,101 Westward ho. 467 00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:46,037 We're coming for your gold. 468 00:17:46,105 --> 00:17:48,431 Almost to Utah, Uncle Brother. 469 00:17:48,478 --> 00:17:50,473 I like the look of that ox. 470 00:17:50,543 --> 00:17:53,544 - Nailed it. - Manifest destiny. 471 00:17:59,262 --> 00:18:02,012 Oh, yeah! 472 00:18:02,066 --> 00:18:03,298 You got to drink another root beer. 473 00:18:03,353 --> 00:18:05,856 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 474 00:18:09,027 --> 00:18:11,294 Chug, chug. Ruth, prohibition has been lifted. 475 00:18:11,363 --> 00:18:12,929 All right. Ready, Moses? 476 00:18:12,997 --> 00:18:14,664 Drink, Moses. Drink, Moses. Come on! 477 00:18:19,337 --> 00:18:21,037 What are you not understanding? 478 00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:22,638 You're all burning in lava right now. 479 00:18:22,707 --> 00:18:24,106 Oklahoma Land Grab! 480 00:18:24,175 --> 00:18:26,141 Sooners, stake your claim! 481 00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:27,777 Come on! 482 00:18:43,327 --> 00:18:44,693 You ready? 483 00:18:44,761 --> 00:18:45,927 Yeah. 484 00:18:45,996 --> 00:18:47,796 - Let's go. - Let's go. 485 00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:51,897 Not my first eviction. 486 00:18:51,991 --> 00:18:54,103 - Won't be my last. - Two, one. 487 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,607 Gotcha! 488 00:19:00,644 --> 00:19:03,377 Prank Sinatra, baby! 489 00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:04,378 What? 490 00:19:05,916 --> 00:19:07,181 I don't get it. 491 00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:08,650 The truck is the prank? 492 00:19:08,719 --> 00:19:10,118 What, did you pay the rental fee? 493 00:19:10,186 --> 00:19:11,953 Winston, that's just nice. 494 00:19:12,022 --> 00:19:14,255 You didn't have to move. 495 00:19:14,324 --> 00:19:16,102 Yes, we did have to move, you idiot. 496 00:19:16,157 --> 00:19:17,858 - We got evicted. - What is he talking about? 497 00:19:17,927 --> 00:19:19,127 I have no idea. 498 00:19:19,195 --> 00:19:21,129 Engram Pattersky. 499 00:19:21,197 --> 00:19:22,963 If you rearrange those letters, 500 00:19:23,032 --> 00:19:25,133 what does it spell? 501 00:19:25,201 --> 00:19:26,967 "My greatest prank." 502 00:19:27,036 --> 00:19:28,336 My greatest prank! 503 00:19:28,404 --> 00:19:29,937 - No. - Are you kidding me? 504 00:19:30,006 --> 00:19:33,707 Wait, are you Engram Pattersky? 505 00:19:33,776 --> 00:19:35,447 Winston, you were in the loft 506 00:19:35,517 --> 00:19:38,462 when all of the notices slid under the door. 507 00:19:38,523 --> 00:19:40,089 I had some help. 508 00:19:40,716 --> 00:19:43,117 Thanks for the wedding invite. 509 00:19:43,185 --> 00:19:45,818 I work at that hospital. 510 00:19:45,887 --> 00:19:48,555 One, two, three, 511 00:19:48,624 --> 00:19:49,523 slide. 512 00:19:50,692 --> 00:19:52,125 Winston was right. 513 00:19:52,194 --> 00:19:54,194 This was a two-man job. 514 00:19:54,263 --> 00:19:55,728 Hell yeah. 515 00:19:55,797 --> 00:19:57,764 But I checked. Everyone's getting evicted. 516 00:19:57,832 --> 00:20:00,033 They're turning it into a non-residential space. 517 00:20:00,101 --> 00:20:01,568 Oh, who did you check with? 518 00:20:01,637 --> 00:20:04,295 I hope it was someone important. 519 00:20:05,647 --> 00:20:07,540 Sorry, Jess. Nothing I can do 520 00:20:07,608 --> 00:20:09,776 about zoning laws. My hands are tied. 521 00:20:09,844 --> 00:20:10,777 Write the check. 522 00:20:10,845 --> 00:20:13,146 Oh. Uh-huh. 523 00:20:13,214 --> 00:20:14,480 Add a zero. 524 00:20:14,549 --> 00:20:15,882 Yeah, okay. 525 00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:17,183 What?! 526 00:20:17,251 --> 00:20:19,151 We didn't have to move? 527 00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,519 Hell no! 528 00:20:20,588 --> 00:20:22,087 You didn't have to move. 529 00:20:22,156 --> 00:20:23,355 When did you have time 530 00:20:23,424 --> 00:20:25,624 to do all this? You have a baby. 531 00:20:25,693 --> 00:20:26,958 Well, I got two babies: 532 00:20:27,027 --> 00:20:28,694 Dan Bill and this prank. 533 00:20:28,762 --> 00:20:30,729 This is a really stupid thing you did. 534 00:20:30,798 --> 00:20:31,897 You should see your face. 535 00:20:31,965 --> 00:20:33,165 This is what you look like. 536 00:20:35,002 --> 00:20:36,334 "What?" 537 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,503 Y'all look so dumb. 538 00:20:38,572 --> 00:20:40,038 Look at you, Nick. 539 00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:42,385 This is you, Nick. 540 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,323 Okay, it's done. 541 00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:00,957 Everybody in the truck. 542 00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:02,326 Let's go. We're leaving. 543 00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:04,009 I mean, it's happening now anyway. 544 00:21:04,056 --> 00:21:05,189 Impressive, man. 545 00:21:05,252 --> 00:21:06,730 - That was good. - You know, I spent six months 546 00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:08,398 building the Engram Pattersky website. 547 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,400 And you guys didn't even visit the office. 548 00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:11,901 - What's happening, y'all? - What's up? 549 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,238 So, was the prank too small? 550 00:21:15,306 --> 00:21:16,840 You know, I've been guilty of that in the past. 551 00:21:16,908 --> 00:21:19,075 Too big, man. Way too big. 552 00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:20,710 I don't know. 553 00:21:20,794 --> 00:21:23,456 - I think it was just right. - Too big. 554 00:21:23,519 --> 00:21:25,248 - Definitely too big. - Way too big. 555 00:21:25,316 --> 00:21:27,425 Ridiculous. 556 00:21:35,972 --> 00:21:39,794 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com