1 00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:05,333 Guys, we're going on a cruise and you guys are coming with us... 2 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,272 And none of you have a choice. (LAUGHS) 3 00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:08,841 A cruise? If I wanted to watch 4 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:11,310 a heavy-set guy in sandals eating with his hands, I would've just posted up 5 00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:12,644 and watched Nick in the kitchen. 6 00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,847 When we were together, we booked a cruise. 7 00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:17,649 We tried to get our money back, but it's... 8 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:18,884 BOTH: Nonrefundable. 9 00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,185 Yeah. (LAUGHS) 10 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,987 They made that very clear. 11 00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,288 Seemed like a safe bet at the time. 12 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:28,394 I don't want a refund on my cruises and I don't want a refund on you. 13 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:29,795 We're never gonna die! 14 00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,897 - NICK: Yeah! - Y'all nasty. 15 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,133 Ah-ha-ha, yeah! 16 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,367 Where you going? 17 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,202 - Yes! - What are you doing now? 18 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,504 Oh, there she goes... (LAUGHS) 19 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,706 Turns out, I do want a refund... 20 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,007 On you. 21 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,642 Give me my money back! 22 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:47,646 JESS: Anyway, they let us downgrade our "lovers' suite" 23 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:48,847 to include four more people. 24 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,315 And that's you guys. 25 00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:53,652 I have some concerns about going on a cruise with two people that just broke up. 26 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:54,653 - Absolutely. - Me, too. - Yeah, I have the same concern as Winnie. 27 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:55,854 Like, I don't want to go. 28 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,356 I have strong qualms as well. 29 00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,257 He got qualms. 30 00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,491 Put those qualms away. 31 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,026 - Yeah. - It's gonna be fine, okay? 32 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,594 - Totally. - We are killing this breakup, honestly. 33 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,697 But we're gonna be on a ship in the middle of the ocean with no escape. 34 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,567 What if you guys get in a big fight and we're stuck out there with you? 35 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,602 It'll be like a floating, all-you-can-eat prison. 36 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,705 I promise you no weirdness. 37 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,175 Guess that's an excuse to go out and buy a new bikini. 38 00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:17,943 - Which could be good. - I'm in. 39 00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,878 Full steam ahead! We have two on board! 40 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,780 Nope! 41 00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:24,249 Let's not do, uh, nautical puns, please. 42 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,684 If we're gonna do nautical puns, we shouldn't... 43 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:26,885 We shouldn't go. 44 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,253 That's fair, and I won't. 45 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,855 I'm in, too. 46 00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,190 Uh, I have an idea. Just throwing this out there. 47 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:35,227 What if we do the cruise on the ground? 48 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,962 - Like, on land. - That's silly. 49 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,530 What, are you scared of boats or something? 50 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,593 Afraid... me, afraid of boats? You're afraid of boats, dude. 51 00:01:40,624 --> 00:01:41,533 CECE: Ha! He's scared of boats? 52 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:42,768 (LAUGHS) Hold on, hold on. 53 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,570 Oh, my God, you're scared of boats. 54 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:45,971 Dude! Is it the boats or the water? Can you swim? 55 00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:47,539 Yeah. You feel safe now? 56 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:48,707 I'm not... I don't need to be safe, man. 57 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:49,908 I'm brave! 58 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,143 I take dumps standing up! 59 00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:52,978 I'm a man! 60 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,148 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ 61 00:01:56,150 --> 00:02:00,052 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ It's Jess. ♪ 62 00:02:00,082 --> 00:02:03,082 Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.addic7ed.com. 63 00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:07,159 Schmidt, do you got any Fisherman's pants I can borrow...? 64 00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,494 What's that? 65 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,963 It's a class ring for Cece. 66 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,765 She got her ged and I've been tutoring her, so... 67 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,568 I had this made. 68 00:02:17,022 --> 00:02:18,022 What? 69 00:02:18,047 --> 00:02:20,739 Shame, shame, I know your name... 70 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,575 Please don't "shame, shame" me, Winston. 71 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,511 SINGSONGY: You're still in love with her. 72 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,112 I am not still in love with her, okay? 73 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:31,850 You're alone on a boat with Cece, romantic cruise, and you give her jewelry. 74 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:32,285 Then what? 75 00:02:32,316 --> 00:02:34,019 I tell her that I'm still in love with her 76 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,355 and that I want her back, and then we have sex until the boat sinks. 77 00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:37,689 I knew it, I knew it! 78 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,690 To the bottom of the ocean. 79 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:39,958 To the bottom of the ocean. 80 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,627 Oh, man... the sand and the mackerel 81 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:42,661 and the chum and whatever the hell else is down there. 82 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,829 - And crabs. - Not the crabs. 83 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,531 - Yeah. - Don't tell anyone. 84 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,940 I'm serious, Winston. Do not tell anyone. 85 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,069 What are you doing? 86 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:56,008 You are so weird. 87 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,944 Can you ever just leave the room like a normal person? 88 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,612 ALL CHANTING: Cruise! Cruise! Cruise! Cruise! 89 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:03,215 Cruise! Cruise! Yeah! 90 00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:07,019 COACH: A little tight. 91 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,687 With the amount of stuff we're gonna be doing, 92 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,189 we're barely gonna be in the room. 93 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,523 CHANTING: Cruise! Cruise! 94 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:14,293 BOTH: Cruise! Cruise. Cruise... 95 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:19,198 Welcome aboard the Wave Dancer, your home for the next five days. 96 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:25,170 I am your captain, Jan Nortis, and I invite you to dance on the waves with me. 97 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,739 (CHEERING) Cruise! Cruise! 98 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,408 CHANTING: Cruise! Cruise! Cruise! Cru... 99 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,043 I'm gonna get drunk! 100 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,244 Sorry. 101 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,846 Enthusiasm! I like these people. 102 00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:38,417 Friendship is the most crucial ingredient to any sea adventure. 103 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,253 Second only to buoyancy. 104 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,556 Because a ship has to float. 105 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,024 Ah! Oh, okay. 106 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,426 (LAUGHING) 107 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,994 I didn't know where you was going with it. 108 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,162 NICK: We love you, captain! Whoo-hoo! 109 00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:51,530 Everybody, my name is Doug. 110 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,598 Hi, Doug. Hi, Doug. 111 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,266 Hey, Doug. I'm Winston. 112 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,308 Does anyone know what to do in case of an emergency? 113 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,370 Uh-oh. 114 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,439 It looks like we're all in the same boat. 115 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,840 (LAUGHING POLITELY) Excuse me. 116 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:05,177 If we could just continue on without any more nautical puns, that'd be great. 117 00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:06,845 Feels like that's just the lowest form of humor. 118 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:09,181 Looks like I found a grumpy Gus! 119 00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:10,582 - I'm sorry, a what? - DOUG: Boo! 120 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,584 - ALL: Boo... - DOUG: Boo and hiss! Boo. 121 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,520 Folks, if you see Gus frowning around, 122 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,389 brighten up his day by giving him a tickle. 123 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,790 - A what? - Tickle. 124 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,292 - Quit it! Enough! - Tickle. Tickles... 125 00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,760 I don't like to be tickled, you guys. 126 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,961 - Tickle, tickle... - All right! Enough! 127 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,930 We have fun! (CHUCKLES) 128 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,265 But the ocean does not. 129 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,466 What? 130 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,035 Listen to what I have to say if you don't want to die. 131 00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,703 Don't worry, Coach. 132 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,071 Everyone who works on a cruise ship is a performer. 133 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,439 - They're just doing a show. - So what? 134 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,941 What are you talking to me about it for? 135 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,542 - I'm not scared. - I just thought you should know. 136 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,144 - You're definitely scared. Sure. - I'm not scared, dude. 137 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:40,445 - What are you talking about? - Yeah, no, of course. 138 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,880 - I'm not scared. - You'll live. It's okay. 139 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,915 Okay, now I need a volunteer to help me with some emergency procedures. 140 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,450 I'll do it. I don't care. 141 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,585 'Cause I'm not scared. 142 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,287 I'll volunteer my ass off. 143 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,956 (LAUGHS) 144 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:53,492 I ain't afraid of you! (LAUGHS) 145 00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,461 - Let's say it's 3:00 A.M. - 3:00 A.M. 146 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,630 - There's alarms going off... - What? 147 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,565 Freezing seawater up to your ankles. 148 00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,401 Adults are screaming, babies are crying! 149 00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,069 Go, go, go, go, go! You're up on deck! 150 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,671 There's an Italian guy strapping chains together! 151 00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:07,339 - You don't know what's going on! - I know! 152 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,274 - What do you do? - I don't know! What do I do? 153 00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:10,809 - What do you do? What do you do? - I-I get, I get in the boat? 154 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,977 - You get in the boat! - I get in the boat! 155 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,011 You're getting in the boat! 156 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,579 - I get in the boat! - Wrong! 157 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:15,914 Wrong! No! The first thing you do is you what? 158 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,850 Make sure your life preserver is strapped on correctly. 159 00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:20,519 No, no, screw that, man! I'm gettin' in the boat! 160 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,120 Get out of my way! 161 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,288 - I'm getting in the boat! - Where you going, Coach? 162 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,625 He's paddling to heaven, 'cause he's already dead. 163 00:05:25,656 --> 00:05:26,358 Don't say that! 164 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,427 Spread your wings, little angel. 165 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,462 - Douglas... that's a little too much. - Oh, my God! Stroke! Stroke! 166 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,297 - Ah, there's two of these! - Okay... all righty. 167 00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:33,965 - How do you do two of these? - Okay... 168 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,668 - You're safe. You're okay. - Stroke! Stroke! (GASPS) 169 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,103 You're okay! 170 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:39,338 You're okay, you're okay, you're okay. 171 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:42,040 (GASPING, SOBBING) Shh. 172 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:45,977 ♪ Amazing grace ♪ 173 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,179 I'm not afraid of boats. 174 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,480 ♪ How sweet ♪ 175 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,848 No one's afraid. (SOBS) 176 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,883 ♪ The sound... ♪ 177 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,518 Okay, I'm good. I'm good, I'm good. You okay? 178 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,721 (SCREAMING) 179 00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:58,156 Thank you. 180 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,158 Thank you all for coming to the... 181 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,827 To the seminar. 182 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,789 Remember to sign up for the volleyball tournament. 183 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,301 Hey, Coach? You okay, buddy? You okay, pal? 184 00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:10,969 Nah, you guys, I'm fine. I'm just gonna... 185 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,971 I'm gonna hang out in the room for a little bit, okay? 186 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:15,240 - See you later. - Later. 187 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:17,309 Cruise! Cruise. Cruise... 188 00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:18,744 What should we do first? 189 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,512 Cheer up, grumpy Gus! All right! 190 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,013 Cut your fingernails, man! Ha ha! 191 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,015 Nice! With this tickling. 192 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,416 (LAUGHS) 193 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:25,817 Hey, hey, hey, guys. The captain's coming. 194 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,486 NICK: It's the captain. 195 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,754 WINSTON: What's up, captain? 196 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:29,921 NORTIS: Hello, again. 197 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:33,358 I'm captain Jan Nortis, as I previously stated. 198 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,528 I would just like to say that I am a fan of your enthusiasm. 199 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,898 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Please don't do that. 200 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,032 Sorry. 201 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:45,337 I may be a captain, but first and foremost, I am a woman. 202 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,239 Absolutely. 203 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,376 Come on! 204 00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:55,580 Did anyone just see that she was flirting like crazy with Nick? 205 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,450 That was, like, the most shameless flirting I've ever seen. 206 00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,118 "Keep it in your pants" 207 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,053 is all I have to say to captain Jan Nortis. 208 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,388 - You're being really weird. - You're being weird. 209 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,756 - Super weird right now. - Here we go. 210 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,724 This is starting now already. 211 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:06,892 I am not being weird. 212 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,927 You're creating an awkward situation for no reason. 213 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,295 Don't do this, Jess. 214 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:14,566 If this ship moves as fast as that captain, we'll be in ensenada by 6:00. 215 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,635 Well, she was flirting with you. 216 00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:19,471 Which I'm okay with, because she is a handsome woman. 217 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,973 Jess, stop. You're being weird. 218 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,408 No, I'm not being weird. 219 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,277 I'm not being weird! 220 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,145 I am, I am being weird. 221 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,713 Okay, focus up for a second. 222 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,917 Okay, they say this is an all-inclusive trip, but you know what that means. 223 00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:33,652 But from their eyes, you have a couple of drinks, 224 00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,787 and then you're done. And then what have you paid for? 225 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,088 We're smarter than that, okay? 226 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,658 We are. We're gonna take every class, we're gonna do every activity. 227 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,492 We're gonna get our money's worth. 228 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,127 - Okay. Got it? - Yeah. 229 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,762 Uh, Jessica Day and Nick Miller. 230 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,097 All right, Day-Miller party. 231 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:49,968 Here is your itinerary for the grand romance package. 232 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,770 No! No! 233 00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:55,106 Yeah, we're looking for something more like PG-13. 234 00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:56,608 What do you have? 235 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,643 Do you have, like, a friendship package or...? 236 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,413 What package would you recommend for two brothers looking for trouble? 237 00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:03,348 The grand romance package is nonrefundable. 238 00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,750 Well, we're not doing that, so we're good. 239 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:08,753 Are you sure? This includes over $600 of activities and... 240 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,789 - We're gonna do it. - We're not doing it. 241 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,157 $600? 242 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,625 That is 600 one-dollar bills. 243 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,460 That's the only way I can imagine it. 244 00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,429 - We can do this. - Okay. Yeah. 245 00:08:17,431 --> 00:08:21,476 We're gonna get our money's worth. We are the best ex-couple in the whole world. 246 00:08:21,507 --> 00:08:22,367 Yeah, we are. 247 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:23,969 - Yes. - Okay? 248 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,437 You guys are exes? 249 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:27,138 Yeah, you're not gonna want to do this. 250 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,940 We're doing it. Give us the folder. 251 00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:40,519 (SIGHS) 252 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,053 - I just wanted to say... - Grumpy Gus! 253 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,388 No! No! No! 254 00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:46,691 - Grumpy Gus. - Sweet mother of sea dragon! 255 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,293 What? What happened? 256 00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:54,666 I just witnessed a dolphin being cut straight in half by our keel. 257 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,134 It's a ghastly sight. 258 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,369 What? 259 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,070 That's horrible! 260 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,305 Terrible. 261 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,640 It's a shame about the dolphin, man. 262 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:02,908 Really is. 263 00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:03,875 What?! 264 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:08,046 As your bodies become one, follow your breath 265 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:13,151 through your spine to the soles of your feet and into your genitals. 266 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,686 What? 267 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:15,487 (LAUGHS) 268 00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,088 Into my genitals? 269 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,190 Yeah. (LAUGHS) 270 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:20,725 Breathe into your genitals... 271 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,360 I'm not breathing into my genitals, lady. 272 00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:23,862 All right, lovers, let's get sexy. 273 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,897 Give me your sexiest pose right here. 274 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,866 This is it. This is it. Sexiest pose. 275 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,768 That's not... it's not romantic in any way. 276 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,370 Think about the first time you kissed. How was it? 277 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:33,505 If you can move in. 278 00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:35,373 Come back in. 279 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:37,542 Come back in. 280 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:40,712 Wow, I've never done a couples massage on exes before. 281 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,014 In case you're wondering what that scar on his back is, 282 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,350 it's from falling on a fence when he was six. 283 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,586 I was legally dead for ten minutes. 284 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,754 We're going to make all the towel animals 285 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,023 you guys find in your rooms every single night! 286 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,092 - We made laundry. - Nice. 287 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,860 ♪ We're always happy ♪ 288 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:59,698 ♪ Life's for living, yeah, ♪ ♪ that's our philosophy... ♪ 289 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,633 We're just totally different people. 290 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,435 Yeah, we just don't belong together. 291 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,037 (BOTH LAUGH) 292 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,739 You're really bumming me out. 293 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,141 Hey, Jess, is this doing weird stuff to your eyes? 294 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,476 Definitely. 295 00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,745 Give me five, man! Leaving me hanging! 296 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,715 (LAUGHS) You know what? You were right. 297 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,249 This isn't weird at all. 298 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,218 No, it isn't. 299 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,653 Are they out of rosé? 300 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,922 You know what? 301 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,991 This is an old bartending trick, Jess. 302 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,560 Put your glass out. You go like this... 303 00:10:28,562 --> 00:10:29,728 No way. 304 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,129 Look at that. You got some rosé. 305 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,230 You're a genius. 306 00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,331 I think I'm smarter at sea. 307 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,566 (BOTH LAUGH) 308 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:42,474 You look, you look like you belong here. 309 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:44,009 What's that, on a ship? 310 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,845 Yeah, you, too. 311 00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:52,717 (BOTH LAUGH) 312 00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:00,258 Oh, yo! Yo! 313 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,828 Yo-yo-yo! Yo, pal. 314 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,363 Yo. 315 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,165 Well, that was a mistake. 316 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,433 Yes, it was! 317 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,801 That was not on purpose. 318 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,336 - My fault, too. - Yep. Yeah, it was... 319 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,204 We can't do the grand romance package anymore. 320 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,939 - I agree. We should... - No. It's too much. It's too intense. 321 00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,808 - They whip you into this sexual frenzy. - I know. 322 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,843 - It's weird. - I just feel like... 323 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,512 Yeah, 'cause everything's fine. You know, I feel like a cruise tonight. 324 00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:21,813 - It's not, like, a really big deal. - I feel like... 325 00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,048 We're good. Everything's good. 326 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:23,882 Yeah, no problem, no problem. 327 00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,044 - All right, bye, dude. - Bye. 328 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:31,289 Jess, I've been looking all over for you. 329 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,625 I was hoping that as a group, we could do a little 330 00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:37,896 night fishing... that I already put a deposit down on, so we're going. 331 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,731 And if we don't catch anything, 332 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,467 they'll let us shoot a machine gun directly into the water. 333 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,335 That is international waters for you, baby. 334 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,738 I would really love nothing more than to go out there and shoot 335 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:51,142 a bunch of fish in the face with you, but I think that's more of a Nick thing. 336 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,478 And yesterday, we decided it would be better for everyone 337 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,347 if we just spent the rest of the time apart. 338 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,549 What? 339 00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:01,086 I'm really sorry. I wanted this to be a great vacation for you guys. 340 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,420 But look, we split up the ship: 341 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,522 I took starboard, he took the other one. 342 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:07,492 I got the starboard and she got the other side. 343 00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:08,760 What are you doing, man? 344 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,495 You're hanging out by an exhaust vent. 345 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,665 It keeps the left side of my face warm and it sounds like the ocean. 346 00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,700 More than the ocean sounds like the ocean? 347 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,336 Come on, Nick. You guys can't be separate the whole trip. 348 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,505 The trip just made it clear. The breakup's too hard. 349 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,440 I don't think we can be friends for a while. 350 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,777 What? You're not gonna be friends with Jess? 351 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,513 And even you guys said it. It's just too weird. 352 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:32,050 Nick, man, that's like the president and the vice president not being best friends. 353 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,518 They're not best friends. 354 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,120 Come on. Everybody knows they're best friends. 355 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:36,221 They work together, but they're not best friends. 356 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,857 Dude, they're the president and the vice president. Okay. 357 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,425 I mean, is this something you're okay with? 358 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,427 No, I'm not okay, but what am I gonna do? 359 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:47,031 Well... I mean, look, man, we all have to be together on this trip. 360 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,600 That's why we came here. 361 00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:52,437 Nick, there's gotta be something I can do. 362 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,705 Yeah, you know what you can do? 363 00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:54,906 Yeah, anything, come on. 364 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,475 You can cash in my skee ball tickets on the other side of the boat. 365 00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:01,112 Get me one of those toy spiders that I was talking to you about before. 366 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,447 - And if they're out... - All right, man, all right. 367 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,883 Then grab me a bunch of erasers? 368 00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:11,122 The opportunity has not presented itself as I'd hoped it would, so I'm creating it now. 369 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:16,094 When I say, "May our progeny bathe in the infinite glow," that's your cue. 370 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:17,495 Now, what... what did I just say? 371 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,731 You repeat it so I know that you know the cue. 372 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:22,267 May our pro... what? 373 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,569 What's wrong with you? Unbelievable. 374 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,471 I don't know what you're saying. 375 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,106 I'll just say, "go," okay? 376 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,275 When I say, "go," you start to play. 377 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,977 And before she sees, just get behind... get behind the vent. 378 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,345 Get behind the vent. 379 00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,985 (CLEARS THROAT) 380 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,453 Cece... 381 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:43,955 Hmm? Hey. 382 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:47,025 Um, your hair in the moonlight... 383 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,760 It looks so shiny. You know, 384 00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:53,298 I'm trying to get a signal so I can talk to Buster, but it's just impossible out here. 385 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:56,100 In the moonlight, your eyes, they sparkle like, like fish eyes. 386 00:13:56,102 --> 00:14:00,772 I got one. Now, like, what, do I have to hold it at this angle the whole time? 387 00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:03,708 Why is it so important for you to get in touch with Buster? 388 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:08,646 (SIGHS) Look, you know better than anyone 389 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,416 that I don't have the best of luck with relationships. 390 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:17,555 And I know you think he's young for me. 391 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,891 I don't. 392 00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:25,063 I just want you to be happy. 393 00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,267 Thank you. 394 00:14:30,502 --> 00:14:32,136 WINSTON: Guys, guys! 395 00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:33,538 You got to come with me right now. 396 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,906 Be warned, though. 397 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:38,377 There is a weird guy with a violin hiding behind this vent. 398 00:14:38,408 --> 00:14:39,244 A what? 399 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:42,080 Dude! (GROANS) 400 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,815 - What's going on? - Come on... right. 401 00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:51,256 I will... I will knock you out where you stand, sir. 402 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:54,292 Get back there. 403 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,363 They're gonna take a break from being friends for a while? 404 00:14:58,365 --> 00:14:59,831 What does that even mean? Guys, this is on us. 405 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:02,734 We're the ones who put the pressure on them to not be weird. 406 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,402 I know. What were we thinking? 407 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,337 Of course they're gonna be weird. They just broke up. 408 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,206 Hey, that's on y'all. I-I have nothing to do with that. 409 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,440 I've just been chilling in the room. 410 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,775 Hanging out, singing songs. 411 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:13,177 ♪ You are safe in the room ♪ 412 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:16,047 ♪ You are safe, you will live... ♪ 413 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,716 I've been trying to get them to talk to each other all morning, okay? 414 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:19,784 (HUMMING) 415 00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:22,253 I passed up on breakfast pizza and singles bingo. 416 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,521 And those bingo chicks? 417 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,590 Oh, they put out. Bingo! 418 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,292 They're not gonna listen to us. 419 00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,860 QUIETLY: Don't-don't ever do that again. 420 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,295 The bingo thing? That's what they... 421 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:31,763 It's funny, that's what they say when I... 422 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,598 You know who they will listen to, though? 423 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,799 - A doctor. The president! - The ca... 424 00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,034 What were you... 425 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,268 - What were you gonna say? - The captain. 426 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,636 The captain. 427 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,606 OVER P.A.: Attention, this is your captain. 428 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:44,976 Would Nick Miller and Jessica Day please return to their stateroom 429 00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:50,081 for a non-life-threatening but necessary official maritime reason. 430 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,749 This is not an emergency. 431 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,718 It is definitely not. 432 00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:55,586 Hey! 433 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:56,721 Did you hear the captain? Yes! 434 00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:59,490 Go, go, go! (ALL CLAMORING) 435 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,426 Everybody inside! This is not a drill! 436 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,227 Okay! 437 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,966 Okay, the door is locked. 438 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:10,168 The "Do not disturb" sign has been employed. 439 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,805 We are not leaving here until you guys are friends again. 440 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,274 We just wanted to spend our vacation alone. 441 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,077 - Yes. - On separate strange parts of this ship. 442 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,279 Yeah, it's... I really wanted to see how the ship worked. 443 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,041 I think it's interesting. 444 00:16:22,072 --> 00:16:24,282 And I really wanted to see how the other side of the ship worked. 445 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,583 - Yeah. - It's interesting. 446 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:28,353 We should've never asked you guys not to be weird around us. Mm-hmm. 447 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:29,821 We-we want you to be weird around us. 448 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:30,955 Yeah. Just let us in. 449 00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:34,592 Open your cellar doors, and let us taste your jams. 450 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:37,261 - You want to "taste our jams"? - Again, you have lost me. 451 00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:39,097 Listen to yourself for once in your life. 452 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,531 JESS: It's my jam and you can't have it. 453 00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,665 First of all, that's my ex-girlfriend's jam, dude. 454 00:16:42,696 --> 00:16:43,501 I put a ban on jam. 455 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,004 Okay, you know what? All of us are weird. 456 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,605 But we're all still friends. 457 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:48,873 So, let's talk about it. 458 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,041 I'll go first. 459 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:53,211 I've made out with half of the guys in this room. 460 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,013 - Okay. That's a start. - All right. 461 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,147 That's a start. 462 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,782 And I have had nightmares 463 00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:00,618 about making out with the other two guys in this room. 464 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,153 - So, yourself? - And me. 465 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,122 - Nick and Winston. - CECE: Okay. Okay. 466 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,189 It's good for you to finally admit that. 467 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,524 I respect that. 468 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,492 Yeah, thanks for sharing. 469 00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:11,129 Um, it really bums me out that I'll never know the infinite joy 470 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:14,832 of what it feels like to carry a child inside of me. 471 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,534 - Wow. - Okay, Coach! 472 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:17,902 That's honesty. 473 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,537 That's real honest. That's how it's done. 474 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,039 Okay, um... 475 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,073 Here we go, up we go. 476 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,876 I feel like it is really weird that... 477 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,745 I live with my ex-boyfriend. 478 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,547 - See? There you go! - Nice! 479 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,416 Just turn on the tap. You know, let it out. Really nice. 480 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,252 That was cool that you admitted that. 481 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,721 I feel weird about living with my ex-girlfriend. 482 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,023 Yeah. You know, I think it's a landmine for trouble. 483 00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:40,892 What's gonna happen when other hunks come around? 484 00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,327 What's gonna happen when you bring some ho-bag in the house? 485 00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,163 Exactly! Like, that... it's scary stuff, and I feel like 486 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,898 when a breakup happens, you mostly get away. 487 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,033 'Cause I'm gonna beat her ass. 488 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,902 What if she's bigger than you? 489 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,770 She probably will be. 490 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,605 LAUGHS: Oh, snap! That was good. 491 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:55,840 (ALL LAUGHING) Good for you! 492 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,341 Yeah! I saw that, man. 493 00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:59,043 That's how it all starts. This is how it starts. 494 00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,678 Good. That's good, man, that's really good. Yeah. 495 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:01,946 Well, it's nice to talk to you about this. 496 00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:03,748 Yeah, it was really weird when you... 497 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,116 Tried to kiss me last night, (GROANS) 498 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,517 And you licked my ear. 499 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,186 - What?! What?! - You guys kissed last night? 500 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:09,887 - This is so confusing! - What?! 501 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,289 It was just a lapse. We were drunk. 502 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,523 You guys are getting back together? 503 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,524 We're not getting back together. 504 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:14,892 You're confusing everybody! 505 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,127 No, it was the grand romance package. 506 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,628 My God! 507 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,397 They were, like, folding these towels. 508 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,399 It was so sexy. You try folding towels 509 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,067 like that and see if you don't get turned on. 510 00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,103 Yeah, because they fold the towels like vaginae. 511 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,704 They're swans, dude. 512 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:30,274 And the yoga instructor was, like, breathing into our genitals, and, like... 513 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,409 It opened everyone up. 514 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,543 (CLICKS TONGUE) Yeah. 515 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:33,978 In a real true way. 516 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:34,980 Absolutely. 517 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,081 This thing was ready to talk to that thing again. 518 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,783 - Emotionally and sexually. - Yeah. 519 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,718 - What?! What?! - What's wrong with you, man? 520 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,420 - Are you crazy? - SCHMIDT: Just pick one... either. 521 00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,055 You're together or you're not! (ALL CLAMORING) 522 00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:45,623 WINSTON: Gonna punch you in the face, bro! 523 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,125 Things are really weird. 524 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,226 Agreed. 525 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,662 But I'm okay with it. 526 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,332 - Me, too. - Hey, there. 527 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,901 Aw! What? All right, okay. 528 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,569 - Good enough, good start. - Wonderful. 529 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,271 Thank you for doing this weird intervention thing. 530 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,073 - This was pretty great. - Yeah, it worked out. 531 00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:03,474 I think everybody's good now. 532 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,842 Let's go eat our weight in fake crab. 533 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,144 There you go. Absolutely. There we go. 534 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,179 - Great idea. - I'm gonna get drunk. 535 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,981 WINSTON: I gotta get psyched up. 536 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,516 Gotta get psyched up. 537 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,451 The door's stuck. Is that part of your thing? 538 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,853 No. Well, call security. 539 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,089 I got rid of the room phone. I-I thought it was gonna be got rid of the phone? 540 00:19:18,091 --> 00:19:19,590 - More intense than this, I-I'm sorry! - You murdered us! 541 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,092 - Open up! Open up! - What? No. 542 00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,293 - Watch out. - You know what? 543 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,928 It's just, it's usually the handle. 544 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,596 - Just, like, get the handle... - I'll do it, I'll do it! 545 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,864 I got it. All right, move. I got it. 546 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,132 Guys, guys, guys! Okay, here we go. 547 00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:29,667 Calm down. 548 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,570 How long could it take for someone to hear us? 549 00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:40,211 Oh. (FLIES BUZZING) 550 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,982 We did bad things to the tub. 551 00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,218 (SPEAKS IN SPANISH) 552 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:48,619 I got the sugars. 553 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,022 I'm the sugar man. (LAUGHS) 554 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,457 Silence! I have the talking soap! 555 00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,126 (CRYING) Oh! 556 00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:57,295 I'm the queen of Wednesday! 557 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,832 It's so nice to have a family portrait. 558 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,167 We should shower less. 559 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:05,369 I think we look really great. 560 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,171 I'm really glad we framed this. 561 00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,639 I mean, what a proud moment. 562 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,841 It is cool being in the paper, though. 563 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,977 (LAUGHS) Part of me died on that boat. 564 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,846 LAUGHS: Oh. I will never be the same again. 565 00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,348 All right, man. Take a nap. 566 00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,482 Sleep it off, man. 567 00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,017 I'm sorry. 568 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,018 Is Cece checking out Schmidt? 569 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,753 What?! 570 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:23,888 Let me see that. 571 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,590 Huh? 572 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:26,857 (LAUGHS) 573 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,193 What are you talking about, Winston? 574 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:32,930 WINSTON SINGSONGY: Shame, shame, I know your name. 575 00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:36,434 You do not know my name, Winston. 576 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:38,603 WINSTON: Cece got a boyfriend who used to be Betty! 577 00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:41,005 CECE: Yeah, you better run, bitch. 578 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,707 WINSTON: Ow! Ow! Ow! 579 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,575 That's my mustache! 580 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,611 (SIGHS) 581 00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:48,246 You know, I've been thinking a lot 582 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,214 - about your sleeping arrangements and... - Weird. 583 00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:55,019 I might have an idea on how to make things a little bit less weird. 584 00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,454 Really? What is it? 585 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,922 Two words. 586 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,590 - Bunk beds. - No. (LAUGHS) 587 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,392 No, I'm not putting bunk beds in my room, Schmidt. 588 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,060 Not in your room. In my room. 589 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,563 It'll be just like college, my man. 590 00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,198 Only with way more sex. 591 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,933 - What? - That came out wrong. 592 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,302 I'm not bunking with you, Schmidt. 593 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:12,737 (LAUGHS) 594 00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:14,939 Yeah, he is. 595 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,140 Yeah, he is. 596 00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,276 Yeah, he is. 597 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,077 There's gonna be a lot of rules, 598 00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:22,613 - and I'm gonna make most of them. - You can make them all, man! 599 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,548 Except for the ones that I make! (BOTH LAUGH) 600 00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:27,351 SCHMIDT: First one in gets dibs! 601 00:21:27,451 --> 00:21:32,451 http://subscene.com/u/659433 Improved by: @Ivandrofly