1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,706
Okay, Schmidt, you ready for
your feedback for the week?
2
00:00:02,730 --> 00:00:04,676
Yes. Uh, let me just pull
up my performance grid.
3
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,576
First off, thanks for keeping sex quick.
4
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,646
You were like a dog with an ice cream cone,
5
00:00:08,670 --> 00:00:10,146
and I loved it, but screaming
6
00:00:10,170 --> 00:00:12,986
"that's how Schmidty do" was not ideal.
7
00:00:13,010 --> 00:00:15,726
Even though that's how Sch-Schmidty did?
8
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:17,486
Well, Schmidty did, and he did it good,
9
00:00:17,510 --> 00:00:18,926
but mommy doesn't want to hear
10
00:00:18,950 --> 00:00:20,596
- how Schmidty's doing.
- Note... note taken.
11
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,266
- Okay. Great. Good.
- Note taken.
12
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:26,436
I feel like I'm watching a
porn set in an HR department.
13
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,936
You know, Fawn is teaching me
how to be the most effective
14
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,836
and successful man and
lover I possibly can be.
15
00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:32,736
Really? I thought you were fine before.
16
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,176
When you two were together? Which time?
17
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,746
The... the first time or the third time?
18
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:36,746
Because... 'cause you two
19
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,176
were very off-and-on.
20
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,676
In a... in a very confusing way.
21
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:44,016
I've had sex with him so many times.
22
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,756
We have a fun thing together, don't we?
23
00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:47,716
Super fun, yeah. I really enjoy it.
24
00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:49,526
What is her... what is it, Cecil?
25
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,856
What is your name?
26
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,426
You'll learn it. Don't worry.
27
00:00:52,450 --> 00:00:54,026
Fawn's helping me see that I haven't reached
28
00:00:54,050 --> 00:00:56,066
- my full potential yet.
- Well, obviously, none of you have.
29
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,566
No, I have. I'm a cop.
30
00:00:57,590 --> 00:01:00,296
And, as of yesterday, my mom no longer buys
31
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,366
my plane tickets, so...
32
00:01:02,390 --> 00:01:04,236
You need a ten-year plan.
33
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,306
Are you in a relationship
that's headed towards marriage?
34
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:08,606
I am not currently, but I did go on a date
35
00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:10,246
with somebody named Charles last month.
36
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,976
She was a woman, but she
was named after her uncle.
37
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,316
Well, Winston has no game.
38
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,086
Dude took a girl to a cement plant.
39
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:17,746
To see how rocks were made.
40
00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:19,316
That's not where rocks are made.
41
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,556
And she loved it, then
she abruptly moved away.
42
00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:26,326
Work sucked, my friends.
43
00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:29,080
Hear ye, hear ye.
44
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:33,166
Milady.
45
00:01:33,190 --> 00:01:37,336
I dub you Sir Winston of the Roll of Egg.
46
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,236
Ah, yes. Yes.
47
00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:41,506
Who are you in this story?
48
00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:43,746
I'm the jester.
49
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,270
I'm not gonna eat here anymore.
50
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,814
☯Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17☯
❃www.addic7ed.com❃
51
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,666
You'd think that the school board would want
52
00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:57,096
to give kids computers, but no,
53
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,806
they just want to get reelected
54
00:01:58,830 --> 00:02:01,566
so they can keep dressing
like Realtors from the 1980s.
55
00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:03,406
Solid municipal burn, Jessica.
56
00:02:03,430 --> 00:02:04,506
Fawn... Councilwoman.
57
00:02:04,530 --> 00:02:06,446
Councilwoman... do you think
58
00:02:06,470 --> 00:02:08,946
you could help me get some
traction with these people?
59
00:02:08,970 --> 00:02:11,116
Oh, funnily enough, I have
a charity event tomorrow
60
00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:12,916
with other high-powered L.A. women.
61
00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:15,486
- I'll put a word in with Yowtz.
- Martha Yowtz?
62
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,486
- Yeah.
- The lioness of Los Angeles education?
63
00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:20,326
- Yes.
- The straw that stirs the school board's drink?
64
00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:22,356
- That's right.
- That is a woman I'd like to get to know.
65
00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:24,296
Is there any way I could
come with you to this event?
66
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,396
Ah, you know, it's really a networking thing.
67
00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:29,296
Well, that's perfect, 'cause
I'd love to network her.
68
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:30,966
- With her. It's "with..."
- You network with her.
69
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:32,166
Yeah, it's "network with her,"
70
00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:33,436
and you don't really strike me
71
00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:34,866
as the "networking" type.
72
00:02:34,890 --> 00:02:36,776
You're more of a "follow a butterfly around
73
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,476
for a day" kind of gal.
74
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:41,376
Oh, sister, I'm a
middle-school vice principal.
75
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,476
You think I got this job
without knowing how to network?
76
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,646
Most likely. Yes.
77
00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:47,346
I got an office with a door, bub.
78
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:49,186
Pencil me in. I'll yak with Yowtz.
79
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,716
The press will be there,
80
00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:54,156
and I could use a photo with
an educator, so... okay.
81
00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:55,526
- Oh, great.
- Oh. Hey.
82
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,526
Do you still need me for the photo op?
83
00:02:57,550 --> 00:02:59,326
I will need you there, actually.
84
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:02,036
I'm trying to become more
accessible on social media.
85
00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:04,896
Speaking of which, is there some way you can
86
00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:08,036
make your skin look less white in photos?
87
00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:10,406
People are saying that you're haunting me.
88
00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:11,906
I can do that. Absolutely. 100%.
89
00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,546
- Let me just make a note.
- Wonderful.
90
00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:15,846
And, Jess, the event
tomorrow is at a golf course.
91
00:03:15,870 --> 00:03:17,216
Do you golf?
92
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,516
Does a bear eat with his hands?
93
00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:21,540
I don't know.
94
00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:28,256
- I'll be there.
- Great.
95
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:32,566
So I say to her, "Water?
I barely even know you."
96
00:03:32,590 --> 00:03:35,166
Stop talking to me like we're
in the middle of a conversation.
97
00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:36,696
- We just sat down.
- All right.
98
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,706
- I hate when you do that.
- Okay.
99
00:03:38,730 --> 00:03:39,936
Winston.
100
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,336
That is a beautiful girl right there. Wow.
101
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,206
- Just say something to her.
- Yeah, just say something to her.
102
00:03:45,230 --> 00:03:46,606
Shawty, what that thang do?
103
00:03:46,630 --> 00:03:48,406
No.
104
00:03:48,430 --> 00:03:49,876
- What was that?
- Dude, I think it's
105
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,286
a nervous tic that stems from
my lack of self-confidence.
106
00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:54,086
We got to help. I can't watch this.
107
00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:56,556
Excuse me, miss? Hi.
108
00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:58,626
- Coach, stop.
- Um, this is my buddy, Winston.
109
00:03:58,650 --> 00:04:01,686
Um... I don't know what
he's doing with his mouth.
110
00:04:01,710 --> 00:04:03,526
That's not his normal smile at all.
111
00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:06,096
I'm gonna fix that. If I could just...
112
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,526
Both sides... even it out.
113
00:04:07,550 --> 00:04:09,096
Better.
114
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,136
- I think he likes you.
- Oh, yeah?
115
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,836
- Just go talk to her. You got it.
- I don't...
116
00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:15,306
- Okay, okay, I'm going.
- You got it. You got it. - He's coming.
117
00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:16,576
He's excited to talk to
you. Hey... My friends.
118
00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:21,876
Hello.
119
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:23,416
I'm Winston Bishop.
120
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,916
Winston Bishop. KC.
121
00:04:25,940 --> 00:04:29,170
KC! Just be like, "Yo, KC, where JoJo at?"
122
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,616
In rehab, probably.
123
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,926
- He's... he was on drugs.
- Yeah.
124
00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:35,726
Sorry. Um...
125
00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:37,796
I don't know what to say right now.
126
00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:39,566
Uh, kind of blowing this, huh?
127
00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:42,336
Uh...
128
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,666
Um, I think you're very beautiful, KC,
129
00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:47,906
and I would like to see you again soon...
130
00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:51,406
like, later today for lunch?
131
00:04:51,430 --> 00:04:53,476
I'd love to.
132
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,446
Really?
133
00:04:55,470 --> 00:04:56,646
- Here.
- Oh.
134
00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:58,346
I'm gonna put in my number...
135
00:04:58,370 --> 00:05:01,956
or come with me to this thing
in the park I'm going to now
136
00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:03,456
and we can grab something after.
137
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,586
You know, I saw Nick Nolte in the park once.
138
00:05:05,610 --> 00:05:08,286
And I was like, "Yo, Nick Nolte,
what you doing in the park?"
139
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:10,326
And he was just like, "I'm just hanging out."
140
00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:13,026
Yeah, so I thought that was notable.
141
00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:15,996
I'm going to a rally to protest the police.
142
00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:18,166
Do you want to come?
143
00:05:18,190 --> 00:05:19,806
Or we could just do lunch.
144
00:05:19,830 --> 00:05:21,606
- Let's do lunch.
- Okay.
145
00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:23,660
Yeah. Nice to... nice to meet you, KC.
146
00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:32,346
Fawn is none of my business,
147
00:05:32,370 --> 00:05:34,046
and Schmidt seems to really like her,
148
00:05:34,070 --> 00:05:35,686
so whatever happens, I'm
just not getting involved.
149
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,286
Then why are you on your
way to hang out with him?
150
00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:39,956
- What are you doing?
- He said to come over.
151
00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:41,896
He said it was an emergency.
152
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,656
What if he does something sexy?
153
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:44,656
That's like Gollum
154
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,066
hanging out with the One Ring.
155
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:47,220
It'll be fine.
156
00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:50,296
Ooh. Hey, Cece, I'm glad you're here.
157
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,466
I need you to put bronzer all over my body.
158
00:05:52,490 --> 00:05:55,406
None of the guys are here, and
they also refused to do it.
159
00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:57,836
Um, all over. I know you're giving me a look,
160
00:05:57,860 --> 00:05:59,246
but, really, like, all over.
161
00:05:59,270 --> 00:06:00,676
All the cracks, the crevices.
162
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,676
The engine, the caboose, everything.
163
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:04,740
Oh, okay.
164
00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:12,926
Gripped it and ripped it.
165
00:06:12,950 --> 00:06:14,186
You da man.
166
00:06:14,210 --> 00:06:15,996
No, say, "Fawn is the man."
167
00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:17,496
Fawn's the man. Fawn's the man.
168
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,226
Oh, hey, there's Yowtz.
169
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:20,926
Woman's got more connections than a flight
170
00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:22,366
from Burbank to Sri Lanka.
171
00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:23,766
Well, then, it's a good thing
172
00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:25,206
I bought the airport neck pillow
173
00:06:25,230 --> 00:06:27,406
in the gift shop, because...
174
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:29,036
You know what that means.
175
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:30,836
- I got this.
- Okay.
176
00:06:30,860 --> 00:06:32,446
How the hell are you?
177
00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:33,876
Jessica Day.
178
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:35,300
I need 20 computers for my school.
179
00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:37,846
Just met you, but noted.
180
00:06:37,870 --> 00:06:39,446
You're up.
181
00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:42,286
Thanks.
182
00:06:42,310 --> 00:06:43,756
What? Oh.
183
00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:45,480
You walk towards the...
184
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:54,696
Whoops.
185
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,360
Oh, dear Lord.
186
00:06:57,609 --> 00:06:59,746
Why are we putting this on your body?
187
00:06:59,770 --> 00:07:01,246
Aren't you going to be wearing a shirt?
188
00:07:01,270 --> 00:07:02,486
Well, you know, Fawn wants me
189
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:03,716
to be prepared for all scenarios.
190
00:07:03,740 --> 00:07:05,016
What if somebody gives birth out there
191
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,586
and I have to swaddle the baby in my polo?
192
00:07:06,610 --> 00:07:08,116
Yeah...
193
00:07:08,140 --> 00:07:10,226
I've never been under this
kind of scrutiny before.
194
00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:12,056
I'm having my teeth shaved by
195
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,726
a 25th of an inch.
196
00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:16,126
Fawn thinks that I have
the teeth of an immigrant.
197
00:07:16,150 --> 00:07:17,326
She says every time she looks at me,
198
00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:19,296
all she can see is Fievel Mouskewitz
199
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,966
singing "There Are No Cats in America."
200
00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:23,536
Those little...
201
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:25,260
those little mice Jews.
202
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,676
I mean, what do you think, Cece?
203
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:29,146
You... you like Fawn, right?
204
00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:31,570
Yeah, I mean, as-as long as you're happy.
205
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,046
- There you go.
- What the hell?
206
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:36,186
What?
207
00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:38,586
Why am I sparkly?
208
00:07:38,610 --> 00:07:39,610
Sparkly?!
209
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:43,186
You bought the bronzer with glitter in it.
210
00:07:43,210 --> 00:07:44,356
Cece, please, you gotta help me, Ce...
211
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:45,826
Fawn's gonna kill me!
212
00:07:45,850 --> 00:07:47,726
Okay, just don't get too
pressive. You'll crease!
213
00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:49,566
So stupid! I feel like I'm trying to get into
214
00:07:49,590 --> 00:07:51,166
an 18-and-under club in Tucson!
215
00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:52,736
So, yeah, at the rally, the was this kid
216
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:53,766
I know from the youth center
217
00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:54,836
who was arrested last week
218
00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:56,566
because he "fit a description."
219
00:07:56,590 --> 00:07:59,736
I mean, he's 14... he doesn't
even fit into his jeans.
220
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,506
- Yeah.
- Anyways...
221
00:08:02,530 --> 00:08:04,876
enough about me. Let's, uh, talk about you.
222
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:06,516
What do you do?
223
00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:07,746
What do I do?
224
00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:08,846
Um... okay.
225
00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:11,146
Well... what do I do?
226
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:12,456
Um...
227
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,886
Okay, the truth is...
228
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,726
Hey, man.
229
00:08:15,750 --> 00:08:17,526
You know them?
230
00:08:17,550 --> 00:08:20,426
Oh, not personally, no.
231
00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:22,196
Hey, what's up, Bishop?
232
00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:23,766
Oh, yeah, I do know them.
233
00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:25,366
We went to school together.
234
00:08:25,390 --> 00:08:26,766
See you at work, bud.
235
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:27,936
More importantly...
236
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,806
we work together.
237
00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:30,966
You're a cop?
238
00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:32,036
Me?
239
00:08:32,060 --> 00:08:33,376
A cop? No!
240
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,806
No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't...
241
00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:36,776
No, no, no. Get that out of your head.
242
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,016
Uh, what I do is I'm a...
243
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,046
- male stripper.
- A stripper?
244
00:08:42,070 --> 00:08:43,416
That's why they were wearing the uniforms.
245
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,916
Yeah, I see where you...
246
00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:46,216
why you would think that. No.
247
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,756
A surprising amount of day work
248
00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:49,326
for a stripper.
249
00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:51,586
You know, we just go in
there, we do our routine
250
00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:53,156
while they eat their lunch salads.
251
00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:54,256
Wow.
252
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,466
You just pray nobody orders soup.
253
00:08:56,490 --> 00:08:59,336
Lost a lot of good men to soup.
254
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,836
It's hard to gauge temperature
255
00:09:01,860 --> 00:09:05,466
when you're just... dipping and running.
256
00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:08,500
You'd be surprised what you
could replace a ladle with.
257
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,416
- Nice day.
- Beautiful.
258
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,486
What happened to the top of my hat?
259
00:09:19,510 --> 00:09:20,756
You take it?
260
00:09:20,780 --> 00:09:22,526
A little, uh...
261
00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:23,856
little visor humor.
262
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,356
Give me back my hat!
263
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:26,456
I'm kidding.
264
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,196
I wasn't gonna hit you.
265
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:29,426
I'm just joshing.
266
00:09:29,450 --> 00:09:32,050
Just Joshua, Joshua, joshing...
267
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,366
Do you ladies want to join my network?
268
00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:38,306
- Uh, you ladies can just go ahead and play through.
- Yeah.
269
00:09:38,330 --> 00:09:40,476
- Yeah.
- I'll catch up with you later.
270
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,136
Uh, so, how-how do you feel
271
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,976
that the networking is going?
272
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,106
Pretty good.
273
00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:47,316
I would call it, like, a solid B.
274
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:48,576
It's a cruise ship disaster.
275
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,146
Look, Jess, if you want those computers,
276
00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:52,856
we have a lot of work to do
and not a lot of time to do it.
277
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:53,986
Shake my hand.
278
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,156
Gross.
279
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:56,556
What is your name?
280
00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:57,786
Jess?
281
00:09:57,810 --> 00:09:59,056
You have the confidence of a child
282
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,656
that was raised in a basement.
283
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,926
Say it with pride, and include your job title
284
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,666
like it's the second half of your name.
285
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:06,966
Like this... Fawn Moscato, City Council.
286
00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:08,236
Jessica Day, Vice Principal!
287
00:10:08,260 --> 00:10:10,006
How the heck are you?
288
00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:11,866
Lighten it up with a quick
joke whenever possible.
289
00:10:11,890 --> 00:10:13,206
Nice shoes.
290
00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:14,906
Look like you chopped off Big Bird's feet,
291
00:10:14,930 --> 00:10:17,046
you murderer.
292
00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:18,776
And try not to make jokes about murdering
293
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,746
Sesame Street puppets if you can.
294
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:22,446
- Good note.
- Now, tell me...
295
00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:23,316
Are you wearing underwear?
296
00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:25,486
Oh, yeah. Big-time.
297
00:10:25,510 --> 00:10:27,816
Lose them. I never wear underwear
298
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,356
in networking scenarios.
299
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,426
Gives you a secret; an edge.
300
00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:32,826
Besides, I firmly believe
301
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:35,226
that power emanates from the vagina.
302
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,166
So, why block it?
303
00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:39,896
It's not the only thing that emanates.
304
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,996
What does that mean?
305
00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:43,906
Other stuff.
306
00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:46,206
So I said, "Tammy, are we playing golf,
307
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,776
or are we making sand castles?"
308
00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:51,606
Tammy is the worst.
309
00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:54,076
She told my kid to shut up
once. I nearly punched her.
310
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:56,216
I don't want to start talking
business while we still
311
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,746
have a whole tournament to play, but...
312
00:10:57,770 --> 00:11:00,416
I'd love to connect about
your ideas in the clubhouse.
313
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,116
Let's meet up there when we're all done.
314
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:03,686
Great. I'll see you in there, Marty.
315
00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:05,186
May I call you Marty?
316
00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:06,256
Oh, I'd prefer it.
317
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:09,026
The clubhouse?
318
00:11:09,050 --> 00:11:10,566
That is where you close the deal.
319
00:11:10,590 --> 00:11:12,266
You are in, my friend.
320
00:11:12,290 --> 00:11:13,966
Now, let's finish up this game.
321
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:15,890
No problem.
322
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:32,676
Write a six and let's go.
They should start putting
323
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,276
GPS in golf balls, am I right?
324
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:36,846
We already got lapped by Sue Kim
325
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:40,056
from the Korean Women's
League, and she's 100.
326
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,186
Jess, she is literally 100 years old.
327
00:11:43,210 --> 00:11:45,086
And I'm... I'll tell you what...
328
00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:46,896
Not a young 100.
329
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,856
Martha doesn't strike
me as the type of person
330
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,726
who gives computers to cheaters.
331
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:54,636
You really don't understand
how networking works.
332
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:57,536
The computers are just
the thing you talk about
333
00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,636
when you're really talking about
334
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:01,806
how to help each other become more powerful.
335
00:12:01,830 --> 00:12:04,206
Just like the money for this
golf thing... it doesn't
336
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:07,316
go to charity. It just pays
for the event where we network.
337
00:12:07,340 --> 00:12:08,840
Isn't that cool?
338
00:12:10,170 --> 00:12:11,886
Yay, America.
339
00:12:11,910 --> 00:12:15,416
Were the computers ever really on the table?
340
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:16,986
You're still talking about the computers?
341
00:12:17,010 --> 00:12:20,326
Okay. Uh, no. No. No money for computers.
342
00:12:20,350 --> 00:12:22,466
I should've never listened
to you. I also should have
343
00:12:22,490 --> 00:12:24,896
never removed my underwear,
because now it's drafty
344
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,066
and I feel vulnerable to wildlife.
345
00:12:27,090 --> 00:12:28,566
Are your underwear sticking
out of your pocket?
346
00:12:28,590 --> 00:12:29,806
Are those boys' underwear?
347
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:32,406
They're unisex. None of your business.
348
00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:34,776
Look, will you forget the
ball? Or none of these women
349
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,846
are ever going to invite
you to play golf again.
350
00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:39,916
Well, I don't want to play
golf with these women again.
351
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:41,746
I don't want any part of this.
352
00:12:41,770 --> 00:12:42,986
If I can't have the computers,
353
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,986
I will... I will stay here
354
00:12:45,010 --> 00:12:46,916
and I will play a clean game of golf.
355
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:50,026
Now, if you'll excuse me, Fawn,
I need to go find my ball.
356
00:12:50,050 --> 00:12:51,756
Like an honest person.
357
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:52,856
Okay.
358
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,756
Oh, look... it's a baby bird.
359
00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:56,166
No, it's a dead baby bird.
360
00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:59,266
I need to move on before I get emotional.
361
00:12:59,290 --> 00:13:00,866
Can't believe I didn't tell her I was a cop.
362
00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:04,036
With everything that's
been going on, I just...
363
00:13:04,060 --> 00:13:05,666
I feel like she wouldn't respect me.
364
00:13:05,690 --> 00:13:08,506
- You want to know what I think?
- No, Nick, I don't.
365
00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:10,306
This is something you can't understand.
366
00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:12,516
- Because I'm not black?
- Uh...
367
00:13:12,540 --> 00:13:15,116
What, because I don't work for
NASA, I can't fix a rocket ship?
368
00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:17,116
If you don't work at NASA, they're not gonna
369
00:13:17,140 --> 00:13:19,486
just let you walk off the
street and fix a rocket ship.
370
00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:21,486
- You're missing my point.
- Besides, you lost your right to talk to me
371
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,426
about race during the O.J. trial.
372
00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:24,986
Is in the white Bronco...
373
00:13:25,010 --> 00:13:26,856
Why does it have to be a "white" Bronco?
374
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,826
Why not just a Bronco?
375
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,366
I can talk to you about this.
376
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:32,796
I mean, we grew up together.
377
00:13:32,820 --> 00:13:35,966
We went to the same schools,
we watched the same shows,
378
00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:37,466
we listened to the same records.
379
00:13:37,490 --> 00:13:39,976
Your mother got a mouth
on the back of her neck,
380
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,876
and bitch chew like this.
381
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:46,216
Hercules.
382
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,376
- Was that your Eddie Murphy?
- That's Eddie Murphy.
383
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,416
That was so bad, it wasn't even offensive.
384
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:51,546
I said "Hercules," and everyone
385
00:13:51,570 --> 00:13:52,716
associates that with Eddie Murphy.
386
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:53,986
Whenever you do your impressions,
387
00:13:54,010 --> 00:13:55,216
it makes me super uncomfortable.
388
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,986
Fine. You know what? You want to do this?
389
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,856
You and me are gonna get weird about race?
390
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,556
- Do your Seinfeld.
- Come... Nick, that's not...
391
00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,866
- Do your Seinfeld.
- What's the deal with bananas?
392
00:14:02,890 --> 00:14:04,726
I mean, they got orange juice,
393
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:07,720
you got apple juice,
where's the banana juice?
394
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,236
I never thought of that.
395
00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:12,706
Ah, boy.
396
00:14:12,730 --> 00:14:15,276
'Cause you got orange juice, you...
397
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:18,876
I love you, but you're white, I'm black.
398
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,516
I understand where she's coming from.
399
00:14:20,540 --> 00:14:23,046
When I was a kid, we used
to run from the police.
400
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,446
Even if we did nothing wrong,
it was just out of habit.
401
00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:27,456
Why haven't you ever told me?
402
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,056
'Cause you'll never get it.
403
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,356
How long have you been standing there?
404
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:34,426
Uh, right around, "Your
mama got a mouth on the back
405
00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:36,126
of her neck, and the bitch chew like this."
406
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:37,696
- Now, that's Eddie!
- I don't see the difference.
407
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,436
Hercules! Hercules! Hercules!
408
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:40,866
- He's doing the laugh!
- That's what I was doing.
409
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,536
Stop, Nick.
410
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,276
I honestly don't see the difference.
411
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:47,736
As the only other black man in this loft,
412
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:48,906
I feel like I should weigh in.
413
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:49,906
This issue
414
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,246
really hits home with me,
415
00:14:51,270 --> 00:14:53,046
and I feel like I have a lot of thoughts
416
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:54,776
and ideas that I need to get off my chest.
417
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,316
- Thank you, Coach.
- But I'm hungry.
418
00:14:56,340 --> 00:14:57,886
- Man.
- I skipped breakfast, and lunch
419
00:14:57,910 --> 00:14:59,056
is gonna be dumb as hell.
420
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,956
♪ Race talk snacks ♪
421
00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:03,156
♪ Race talk snacks, gotta get me ♪
422
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:04,726
♪ Some race talk snacks ♪
423
00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:07,796
♪ Gonna be super uncomfortable! ♪
424
00:15:07,820 --> 00:15:09,126
- So, KC...
- Shh...
425
00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:10,396
- I just feel like...
- Can't-can't weigh in.
426
00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:12,166
- I know, but I...
- Can't weigh in.
427
00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:14,096
I do have something I want
to say that's not a race...
428
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,566
Shh, don't.
429
00:15:15,590 --> 00:15:16,736
I know what I'm gonna do.
430
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,976
I'm gonna tell her the truth.
431
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,976
I'm a good guy; that's all that matters.
432
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,006
- That's what I was gonna say.
- I want to make this... No, no, no.
433
00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:24,276
Shut it down, Nick.
434
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,676
Your mother got a mouth
435
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:27,746
on the back of her neck,
and she chews like this.
436
00:15:27,770 --> 00:15:29,100
Murphy, Murphy, Murphy.
437
00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,486
So the good news is you can't see
438
00:15:32,510 --> 00:15:33,816
the glitter anymore. Great.
439
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,016
Well, what's the bad news?
440
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,526
You look like,
441
00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:39,010
um... can't exactly put my finger on it.
442
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,666
I look like the dead body the
police pull out of a lake.
443
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:47,696
That's how you describe it; you look dead.
444
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:49,036
I don't want to look like a dead boy.
445
00:15:49,060 --> 00:15:50,336
I want to look like a living boy.
446
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,606
Why are you calling yourself a boy?
447
00:15:51,630 --> 00:15:52,806
Because I'm freaking out!
448
00:15:52,830 --> 00:15:53,806
Freaking...
449
00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:54,860
Freaking out. Oh, no.
450
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,200
It's-it's Fawn.
451
00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:02,216
Hey, Faw... hey, Fawn.
452
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:06,986
What the Jewish God did you do?
453
00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:08,316
In an attempt to look less ghost-like,
454
00:16:08,340 --> 00:16:09,826
I put on some bronzer, but the bronzer
455
00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:11,226
had glitter in it, and now...
456
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:13,826
You look like a wood carving of yourself.
457
00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:16,126
The press is here.
458
00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:19,136
And single women have proven
to be less appealing to voters.
459
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,336
Fix it and get here now.
460
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,706
I am Fawn Moscato, and I will
not miss a photo opportunity!
461
00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:24,706
Faw... Oh.
462
00:16:24,730 --> 00:16:25,990
Fawn?
463
00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:27,836
How about a fake beard?
464
00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:28,976
Get some double-sided tape,
465
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,406
we can shave Winston's cat...
466
00:16:30,430 --> 00:16:31,576
Okay, you know what, enough.
467
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,076
I cannot just stand here and watch Fawn
468
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,516
treat you like she's your pageant mom.
469
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:36,646
She needs to accept you exactly how you are,
470
00:16:36,670 --> 00:16:38,586
or you need to find somebody that will.
471
00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:41,210
'Cause I think you are fine as is.
472
00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:47,926
Damn it.
473
00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,696
You know what, you're right.
I'm gonna go talk to her.
474
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,366
Can you drive though? I want
to fix my makeup in the car.
475
00:16:52,390 --> 00:16:54,336
For me, not for her.
476
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,436
I don't want to scare anybody. Ugh.
477
00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:58,660
I think I'm drunk from my face fumes.
478
00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:03,106
I've never seen so many strokes taken
479
00:17:03,130 --> 00:17:05,106
on a single hole in all of my life.
480
00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:06,876
This has got to be some kind of record.
481
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,000
Do you care to comment?
482
00:17:10,010 --> 00:17:11,446
Hey!
483
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:13,386
Not bad! Look at her go!
484
00:17:13,410 --> 00:17:15,310
The hole's behind you.
485
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,610
Thanks, Marty.
486
00:17:21,820 --> 00:17:24,026
172!
487
00:17:24,050 --> 00:17:26,836
- Par was five.
- I know, Marty.
488
00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:28,396
You're the worst golfer I've ever seen.
489
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:30,366
Look, I don't care if I look stupid.
490
00:17:30,390 --> 00:17:31,966
I didn't come here to climb the ladder.
491
00:17:31,990 --> 00:17:33,576
The only reason why I came here
492
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,846
was to get computers for my students.
493
00:17:35,870 --> 00:17:39,146
And that's the only reason
why I came: for the school.
494
00:17:39,170 --> 00:17:40,546
I respect that.
495
00:17:40,570 --> 00:17:42,316
I'll get you those computers.
496
00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:44,146
- Really?!
- Yes, I will.
497
00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:47,486
In 2018, when the district
is fiscally solvent.
498
00:17:47,510 --> 00:17:49,910
I'll... take that as a victory.
499
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,666
I support Vice Principal Day.
500
00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:58,396
It is education
501
00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:00,736
that will bring water back to this city
502
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,206
and will rebuild the middle class...
503
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:04,336
Don't let me back down.
504
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:05,836
Don't worry, I will not.
505
00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:07,836
You look... so crazy right now.
506
00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:09,846
- You look like a doll boy.
- A doll man.
507
00:18:09,870 --> 00:18:11,406
I'm a d... I'm a doll man.
508
00:18:11,430 --> 00:18:13,276
A doll man who's about
to get his dignity back.
509
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,516
Let's beat China!
510
00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:16,686
I'm Fawn Moscato!
511
00:18:16,710 --> 00:18:17,870
Oh!
512
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,216
Oh.
513
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:22,580
I can't believe it.
514
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,756
Now, this ball is a symbol...
515
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:27,826
of the unity...
516
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:29,396
Wow!
517
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:31,196
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
518
00:18:31,220 --> 00:18:33,136
Fawn, Fawn, Fawn, Fawn, Fawn, Fawn, Fawn.
519
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,636
- What? What's going on?
- You're not wearing any, uh...
520
00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:37,460
Each one's like a snowflake.
521
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:45,716
What do you mean there's a meme?
522
00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:47,276
It speaks?
523
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,616
Well, what does it say?
524
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,556
Oh, well, that is just crass.
525
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:55,556
Yes, I know I wanted a
more accessible Web pr...
526
00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:57,456
Will you stop laughing, Lou?
527
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,826
You're a father!
528
00:18:58,850 --> 00:19:00,850
You're my father!
529
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:03,996
Oh, no, no, it's...
530
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:05,466
it's carpet cleaner.
531
00:19:05,490 --> 00:19:07,396
You know, I thought I'd take
it right down to the base.
532
00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:09,466
I'll probably have to regrow
some skin, but it's all right.
533
00:19:09,490 --> 00:19:11,306
It's okay, Schmidt.
534
00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:13,836
Look, I understand if you
want to break up with me.
535
00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:15,406
I'm a laughingstock,
536
00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:18,076
and you shouldn't be
associated with my brand.
537
00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:20,416
Which is tainted.
538
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,986
An unfortunate choice of words.
539
00:19:22,010 --> 00:19:25,710
So, what was it you wanted to say to me?
540
00:19:27,010 --> 00:19:29,856
Fawn, I don't want to break up with you.
541
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,550
I like you just the way that you are.
542
00:19:35,350 --> 00:19:38,966
No offense, but you're terrifying to look at,
543
00:19:38,990 --> 00:19:41,166
and you smell like a chemical fire.
544
00:19:41,190 --> 00:19:43,336
Taint that the truth?
545
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:45,506
- Yeah.
- Did you see what I did there?
546
00:19:45,530 --> 00:19:47,976
- I just...'Cause you did it, then I...
- It was too... too soon. It's too soon.
547
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000
- I wanted you to feel good about when you said it though.
- Okay.
548
00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:56,610
KC?
549
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,156
So...
550
00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:04,880
um... this is the real me.
551
00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:09,066
I'm proud of what I do, I really am.
552
00:20:09,090 --> 00:20:10,896
I work with a lot of great people,
553
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,036
and I want to be one of them.
554
00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:14,796
Plus, if there are ever Ghostbusters,
555
00:20:14,820 --> 00:20:17,060
I know they're gonna recruit
from law enforcement first.
556
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,976
I know you're mad at me.
557
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,406
I just came to say that.
558
00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:25,876
I'm not mad that you're a cop.
559
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:27,246
I'm mad that you lied.
560
00:20:27,270 --> 00:20:29,186
Well, tell you what,
561
00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:32,716
uh, is there any way I
could take you out again
562
00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:35,086
and, you know, uh, be so honest with you
563
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:37,156
that it scares the hell out of you?
564
00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:39,780
I don't know.
565
00:20:41,380 --> 00:20:43,790
That uniform is kind of
distracting, isn't it?
566
00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:47,620
Maybe you should... take it off.
567
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,246
You lied and said you were a stripper;
568
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:57,006
it seems like the fair thing to do.
569
00:20:58,370 --> 00:20:59,746
Just in front of all these people?
570
00:20:59,770 --> 00:21:01,416
In front of your colleagues?
571
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,046
Oh, okay. I hear some "whoos!"
572
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,202
You ain't got no Ginuwine or nothing?
573
00:21:06,203 --> 00:21:07,939
Seriously though, I'm...
574
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:10,459
I'm... I really am a police officer.
575
00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:14,549
I can't really be here stripping for you...
576
00:21:14,550 --> 00:21:16,539
It's a clip-on ladies.
577
00:21:16,540 --> 00:21:17,661
And it's on the ground.
578
00:21:17,662 --> 00:21:20,851
Here we go. Uh-huh, I want
y'all to get y'all ones ready.
579
00:21:21,482 --> 00:21:23,948
I wear my underwear
two sizes too big.
580
00:21:27,303 --> 00:21:29,887
This is a... This is a thing.
This is a thing I gotta do
581
00:21:29,888 --> 00:21:31,768
in order to get my belt off.
582
00:21:31,769 --> 00:21:33,760
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