1
00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:03,630
You taking up tennis?

2
00:00:03,730 --> 00:00:04,986
No, it's *** fly swatter.

3
00:00:05,198 --> 00:00:06,636
- I want to see it work.
- Well, we need a fly.

4
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,503
I've been waiting whole morning.

5
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,548
Did you honestly just kill one?

6
00:00:10,585 --> 00:00:12,820
Hey, what's going on, guys?
Ooh! Ah!

7
00:00:12,854 --> 00:00:14,404
Walk with dignity, you giant toddler.

8
00:00:14,539 --> 00:00:17,224
Come on, Schmidt, you got to get
this stuff out of here, man.

9
00:00:17,258 --> 00:00:19,059
Yeah, well, I can't afford
storage. All my money's tied up

10
00:00:19,093 --> 00:00:21,261
in the storefront
I leased for Jess' sister.

11
00:00:21,296 --> 00:00:24,231
So why don't you put your junk
in the storefront, Schmidt?

12
00:00:24,265 --> 00:00:25,732
You really want me
to put an Ian Schrager rug

13
00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:27,501
in a room
without climate control?

14
00:00:27,535 --> 00:00:28,450
What?

15
00:00:28,609 --> 00:00:30,237
Oh, he was the guy in Star Wars.

16
00:00:30,271 --> 00:00:32,172
Medium talent.

17
00:00:32,207 --> 00:00:33,536
- Hey, guys. Morning.
- Hey, Jess.

18
00:00:33,695 --> 00:00:34,590
Hey.

19
00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:36,910
Come on, Coach! Let's hustle!

20
00:00:36,945 --> 00:00:39,546
I got Coach a job at the school,
and it's his first day.

21
00:00:40,682 --> 00:00:41,782
I don't like kids,

22
00:00:41,816 --> 00:00:43,150
I don't like teaching,

23
00:00:43,184 --> 00:00:44,852
I just like paychecks.

24
00:00:44,886 --> 00:00:46,353
Well, I think you're gonna love it.

25
00:00:46,387 --> 00:00:47,988
I don't think I'm gonna love it.

26
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:54,261
Run! Do not stop running or I
will eat your faces and bodies!

27
00:00:54,295 --> 00:00:57,297
Keep running
or I will murder your family!

28
00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:00,701
I love this job.

29
00:01:00,735 --> 00:01:02,302
You're pissing me off!
This one.

30
00:01:02,337 --> 00:01:04,204
This one. I got my eye on you.

31
00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:11,653
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com

32
00:01:13,248 --> 00:01:15,379
Thanks for helping me
move my stuff, you guys.

33
00:01:15,556 --> 00:01:18,452
♪ Lots of hairy boxes
God, I've fallen. ♪

34
00:01:18,486 --> 00:01:20,821
Almost below you now, Nick.

35
00:01:20,855 --> 00:01:23,724
Fellow passengers, stuck
in the caboose of life.

36
00:01:23,758 --> 00:01:25,859
You think I'm in the caboose of life?

37
00:01:25,894 --> 00:01:27,461
You love it in the caboose, not me.

38
00:01:27,495 --> 00:01:29,696
It hurts.
It's actually quite jarring.

39
00:01:29,731 --> 00:01:31,732
♪ Loves it in the caboose

40
00:01:31,766 --> 00:01:33,634
- I don't love it in the caboose.
- ♪ Yes, he does.

41
00:01:33,668 --> 00:01:35,469
Uh, hi. Are you guys open?

42
00:01:35,503 --> 00:01:36,870
Oh, this actually...
It's not a store.

43
00:01:36,905 --> 00:01:38,171
Oh. That's too bad.

44
00:01:38,206 --> 00:01:40,040
- I really like that lamp.
- You like...

45
00:01:40,074 --> 00:01:42,075
You like the lamp? I'm sorry.
You know what, it just...

46
00:01:42,110 --> 00:01:44,344
It's just that... It doesn't...
It doesn't feel like a store yet

47
00:01:44,379 --> 00:01:46,513
- is what I meant to say.
- Piano player is a nice touch.

48
00:01:46,548 --> 00:01:48,882
Aw, thank you very much.
He's lovely, isn't he?

49
00:01:48,917 --> 00:01:50,484
Pl-please look around.
Feel free.

50
00:01:50,518 --> 00:01:52,986
The lamp is 100% full price.

51
00:01:53,021 --> 00:01:55,006
Uh, pretty much everything's
100% full price.

52
00:01:55,171 --> 00:01:58,191
What you're doing is illegal.
You can't say this is a store.

53
00:01:58,226 --> 00:01:59,826
I'm not taking advice
from you. You pronounce

54
00:01:59,861 --> 00:02:00,928
the "G" in "lasagna."

55
00:02:00,962 --> 00:02:02,896
Lasag-na.

56
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:08,035
Oh, my God.
I think my arm's broken.

57
00:02:08,069 --> 00:02:11,171
I'm gonna sue the crap out of you.

58
00:02:12,407 --> 00:02:14,675
Winston! Quiet.

59
00:02:14,709 --> 00:02:16,843
So, I have Jamal Chambers
in my fourth period,

60
00:02:16,878 --> 00:02:18,912
and he cannot stop
talking about how fun

61
00:02:18,947 --> 00:02:21,915
and enthusiastic
his new volleyball coach was.

62
00:02:21,950 --> 00:02:23,684
You were right. I love this job.

63
00:02:23,718 --> 00:02:25,519
I knew it. I knew you'd love it.

64
00:02:25,553 --> 00:02:27,421
- Hey.
- I was looking for you.

65
00:02:27,455 --> 00:02:30,090
You weren't in my car.
Internet's down.

66
00:02:30,124 --> 00:02:31,925
Okay, um, well, I
rebooted the router.

67
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,261
You're actually
on the wrong IP address, so...

68
00:02:34,295 --> 00:02:35,295
There you go.

69
00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:36,324
Ooh.

70
00:02:36,496 --> 00:02:39,566
You know I can see everything
that you search for, right?

71
00:02:39,601 --> 00:02:42,703
I'm a biology teacher.
It's all research.

72
00:02:42,737 --> 00:02:44,030
Fixing computers and stuff now?

73
00:02:44,211 --> 00:02:46,265
I'm just taking on
a little extra responsibility

74
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,275
around here, just getting stuff
done that needs doing.

75
00:02:50,144 --> 00:02:52,713
Graffiti's wrong, kids.
Don't do it.

76
00:02:52,747 --> 00:02:54,314
I love corn on the cob, too,

77
00:02:54,349 --> 00:02:56,416
but I'm not gonna paint it
all over the walls.

78
00:02:56,451 --> 00:02:58,819
I'm just hoping, you know,
in a few years

79
00:02:58,853 --> 00:03:00,454
I'll have enough
experience that Dr. Foster

80
00:03:00,488 --> 00:03:03,323
will consider me
for vice principal.

81
00:03:03,358 --> 00:03:04,884
Why don't you just ask him for it?

82
00:03:04,998 --> 00:03:07,127
You can't just ask for a promotion.
You know.

83
00:03:07,161 --> 00:03:11,064
You have to earn the promotion
with years of good work.

84
00:03:12,433 --> 00:03:14,768
What's funny?

85
00:03:14,802 --> 00:03:17,804
Uh, how's that working out
for you, Jess?

86
00:03:21,209 --> 00:03:23,243
Do you see this volleyball?

87
00:03:23,277 --> 00:03:25,846
It won't get over the net
just because you want it to

88
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:27,981
and you hope someone will notice
that you want it to.

89
00:03:28,016 --> 00:03:30,417
- Okay.
- I'm gonna ask you one more time:

90
00:03:30,451 --> 00:03:34,921
What... do you... want?

91
00:03:34,956 --> 00:03:36,857
Um, I want to be vice principal.

92
00:03:36,891 --> 00:03:38,291
All right.
Then spike that ball, Jess.

93
00:03:38,326 --> 00:03:41,194
Oh, that's not...
Okay, um...

94
00:03:41,229 --> 00:03:43,196
- You got to spike! You got to spike!
- Is that really... Yeah. Okay.

95
00:03:43,231 --> 00:03:45,039
- No, wait. I'm not very good...
- Spike it!

96
00:03:45,079 --> 00:03:46,960
I've just never really been good
with athlete balls.

97
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,640
- Spike it! What do you want?!
- I want to be vice principal.

98
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,117
Spike the ball
and tell me what you want!

99
00:03:51,157 --> 00:03:53,598
I want to be the vice principal!

100
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,676
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

101
00:03:55,710 --> 00:03:57,310
Oh! Oh...
Oh!

102
00:03:57,345 --> 00:03:59,179
Oh...

103
00:03:59,213 --> 00:04:00,681
I will not laugh.

104
00:04:00,715 --> 00:04:02,683
An outrage! Been all over

105
00:04:02,717 --> 00:04:04,518
and I can't afford anybody.
Unbelievable.

106
00:04:04,552 --> 00:04:06,219
Access to premium
legal counsel should be

107
00:04:06,254 --> 00:04:08,989
every Jew's birthright.
And the jury will see

108
00:04:09,023 --> 00:04:11,024
that there is no justice
for the Hebrew man.

109
00:04:11,059 --> 00:04:13,660
Not in these so-called United States.

110
00:04:13,695 --> 00:04:14,592
What is that that you're doing?

111
00:04:14,782 --> 00:04:16,872
I can't get enough
of this legal drama.

112
00:04:16,907 --> 00:04:18,899
Check this out.
Favorite author, Grisham.

113
00:04:18,933 --> 00:04:20,333
Favorite TV show, Judging Amy.

114
00:04:20,368 --> 00:04:23,303
Favorite color, courtroom brown.

115
00:04:23,337 --> 00:04:26,073
Courtroom Brown. Damn,
I wish that was my nickname.

116
00:04:26,107 --> 00:04:27,512
Did you just think of that?
'Cause it was perfect, man.

117
00:04:27,676 --> 00:04:30,177
- Courtroom Brown.
- Dude, you're a born Courtroom Brown.

118
00:04:30,211 --> 00:04:32,312
That's me. When you say
"Courtroom Brown," I respond.

119
00:04:32,346 --> 00:04:33,947
Hey, Winston.

120
00:04:33,981 --> 00:04:35,182
- Hey, Courtroom Brown.
- Yes?

121
00:04:36,751 --> 00:04:39,086
Kill 'em, Courtroom!
That's awesome!

122
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,520
What am I supposed to do
in this situation,

123
00:04:40,555 --> 00:04:42,355
represent myself like some nut job?

124
00:04:42,390 --> 00:04:43,824
Nick could be your lawyer.

125
00:04:43,858 --> 00:04:45,992
This Nick? Vivica A. Dropout?

126
00:04:46,027 --> 00:04:47,394
First of all, I don't
want to be involved,

127
00:04:47,428 --> 00:04:49,563
but thank you, Courtroom Brown.

128
00:04:49,597 --> 00:04:51,331
And second of all, I passed
the bar, which means

129
00:04:51,365 --> 00:04:53,499
I can practice in the
state of California.

130
00:04:53,539 --> 00:04:55,936
Oh, Nick, you would be the worst
in the whole entire world.

131
00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:57,204
No offense. I love you, dawg.

132
00:04:57,238 --> 00:04:59,172
I could be your lawyer easy.

133
00:04:59,207 --> 00:05:01,908
You don't forget how to be a
lawyer. It's like riding a bike.

134
00:05:03,144 --> 00:05:06,279
They've changed these!

135
00:05:06,314 --> 00:05:07,781
Fine. I forgot
how to ride a bike.

136
00:05:07,815 --> 00:05:09,950
But I'm not gonna forget
how to be a lawyer.

137
00:05:09,984 --> 00:05:12,919
I guess I have no choice.
You can be my lawyer, Nick.

138
00:05:12,954 --> 00:05:14,149
- I won't do it.
- What?

139
00:05:14,263 --> 00:05:15,889
I value myself too great for that.

140
00:05:15,923 --> 00:05:17,190
If you want me
to be your lawyer,

141
00:05:17,225 --> 00:05:19,593
if you want to win this case,
you must start

142
00:05:19,627 --> 00:05:21,228
with the word "please."

143
00:05:21,262 --> 00:05:23,597
And I'll need a symbolic
five-dollar retainer.

144
00:05:23,631 --> 00:05:24,865
Four dollars.

145
00:05:24,899 --> 00:05:27,033
Skin it. Let's do it. Hooah.

146
00:05:27,068 --> 00:05:30,103
Dr. Foster, I am young, I'm energetic

147
00:05:30,138 --> 00:05:33,540
and I think it's about time
you take advantage of me!

148
00:05:33,574 --> 00:05:36,777
Well, this is... a little awkward.

149
00:05:36,811 --> 00:05:39,980
I'm, uh... I'm exclusively
into Asian women.

150
00:05:40,014 --> 00:05:42,048
It's really a Kristi Yamaguchi thing.

151
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:44,551
- After Lillehammer...
- I really meant professionally.

152
00:05:44,585 --> 00:05:46,257
I want you to take
advantage of me like that.

153
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:47,945
- Sorry.
- It's a professional thing.

154
00:05:48,107 --> 00:05:50,290
- Okay. Sorry.
- I want to be vice principal.

155
00:05:50,324 --> 00:05:53,160
Frank retired, you need
someone. I deserve it.

156
00:05:53,194 --> 00:05:55,295
I bust my ass for this school.

157
00:05:55,329 --> 00:05:57,597
You've got it. The job is yours.

158
00:05:57,632 --> 00:05:59,399
- It is?
- Oh, my God, are you kidding?

159
00:05:59,433 --> 00:06:01,735
I thought I was gonna have
to force somebody into it.

160
00:06:01,769 --> 00:06:03,603
This is so much easier.

161
00:06:03,638 --> 00:06:04,805
- Really?
- Go ahead.

162
00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:08,642
Be vice principal.

163
00:06:08,676 --> 00:06:10,510
- I can't believe this.
- In fact, I think

164
00:06:10,545 --> 00:06:11,812
you should start right now.

165
00:06:11,846 --> 00:06:14,214
You will not be sorry, sir.

166
00:06:15,550 --> 00:06:16,783
Did you?

167
00:06:16,818 --> 00:06:18,852
- I got the job! Yeah!
- Oh!

168
00:06:18,886 --> 00:06:20,487
- I spiked the ball.
- Time to celebrate.

169
00:06:20,521 --> 00:06:21,822
No! No! I'm not doing that!

170
00:06:21,856 --> 00:06:23,590
- No!
- We got to celebrate! Celebrate!

171
00:06:23,624 --> 00:06:25,859
Let me pour it on your face
and your clothes and your hair!

172
00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:31,698
Yeah. Uh... looks standard.

173
00:06:31,732 --> 00:06:33,499
Yeah.

174
00:06:33,534 --> 00:06:35,902
You're definitely being sued.

175
00:06:35,936 --> 00:06:38,171
Uh, your deposition is tomorrow.

176
00:06:38,205 --> 00:06:39,839
What-what do we do now?
Do we prep for the plaintiff?

177
00:06:39,874 --> 00:06:41,174
I don't like prepping.
It makes me feel nervous.

178
00:06:41,208 --> 00:06:42,976
I feel boxed in.
And I'm very quick

179
00:06:43,010 --> 00:06:46,045
- on my, uh...
- Sure.

180
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,248
Did you just forget the word "feet"?

181
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:50,416
Feet. Yeah.
Nick, you should really prep.

182
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,752
Fair enough.
Winston, you're my plaintiff.

183
00:06:52,786 --> 00:06:54,687
Done deal. Okay.

184
00:06:54,722 --> 00:06:57,690
Hi, my name is Tim Baker.

185
00:06:57,725 --> 00:07:01,361
I live
at 522 Dugan Court Terrace.

186
00:07:01,395 --> 00:07:04,030
Okay, Mr. Baker,
how long have you been a chef?

187
00:07:04,064 --> 00:07:05,398
I don't have to answer that.

188
00:07:05,432 --> 00:07:06,900
You actually do though, Winston.

189
00:07:07,701 --> 00:07:09,035
Doesn't he?

190
00:07:10,237 --> 00:07:12,372
You ask...
Why you asking me, man?

191
00:07:12,406 --> 00:07:13,610
- No, I'm not. I'm... Yeah.
- You're the lawyer.

192
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:16,175
No, I know. You have to answer.
How long you been a chef?

193
00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:17,911
I already answered that
during background.

194
00:07:17,945 --> 00:07:20,179
What in the hell?
You did background without me?

195
00:07:20,214 --> 00:07:22,215
Why wasn't I invited for background?

196
00:07:22,249 --> 00:07:24,050
You have to answer it!
How long you been a chef?!

197
00:07:24,084 --> 00:07:25,118
You're fired!

198
00:07:26,987 --> 00:07:30,657
Give me another chance.

199
00:07:30,691 --> 00:07:33,426
No!

200
00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:36,296
Okay, here's something.
Get on a plane with me.

201
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,798
While you think about it,
put this on my card.

202
00:07:38,832 --> 00:07:41,267
It's the black one.

203
00:07:45,039 --> 00:07:46,706
Wow. That just happened.

204
00:07:46,740 --> 00:07:48,975
You think maybe we
should take his card

205
00:07:49,009 --> 00:07:50,476
and buy him a new shirt?

206
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,111
I'm scared he'd want

207
00:07:52,146 --> 00:07:53,746
to change it in front of us.

208
00:07:54,782 --> 00:07:55,648
I'm Cece.

209
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,216
Hi, Cece. I'm Buster.

210
00:07:57,251 --> 00:07:58,785
I really hope that's a nickname.

211
00:07:58,819 --> 00:07:59,953
No, it's not a nickname.

212
00:07:59,987 --> 00:08:01,054
It's your real name?

213
00:08:01,088 --> 00:08:02,422
I was bullied pretty bad.

214
00:08:02,456 --> 00:08:03,589
Hi, Buster.

215
00:08:03,624 --> 00:08:04,536
All right, hold on.

216
00:08:04,722 --> 00:08:07,260
- I've got quite an eye for young boys.
- Oh, God.

217
00:08:07,294 --> 00:08:09,262
That's right, I said it.
It's not a typo.

218
00:08:09,296 --> 00:08:10,430
Let's see some I.D.

219
00:08:11,765 --> 00:08:12,732
God, you're handsome.

220
00:08:12,766 --> 00:08:14,267
I'm sorry.

221
00:08:14,301 --> 00:08:15,601
Wyoming!

222
00:08:15,636 --> 00:08:16,502
- Look at that.
- Mm-hmm.

223
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:17,937
Wyoming. So you're one

224
00:08:17,972 --> 00:08:20,573
- of the three people from Wyoming.
- Yeah.

225
00:08:20,607 --> 00:08:24,410
Cowboy state, big sky country,
home of the Liberty Bell.

226
00:08:24,445 --> 00:08:26,779
Bull... snatch.

227
00:08:26,814 --> 00:08:28,314
That's an awful accent.

228
00:08:28,349 --> 00:08:29,515
What is your real accent?

229
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,084
Are you Australian or from Heaven?

230
00:08:31,118 --> 00:08:32,552
How old are you, for real?

231
00:08:32,586 --> 00:08:34,587
- Leave him alone.
- Don't bull-snatch a bull-snatcher.

232
00:08:34,621 --> 00:08:36,856
Leave him alone.
You're over 21, right?

233
00:08:38,058 --> 00:08:39,092
I'm not.

234
00:08:39,126 --> 00:08:41,294
Um... I'm 20.

235
00:08:41,328 --> 00:08:43,796
Get out of here,
you delicious bastard.

236
00:08:43,831 --> 00:08:46,099
- Can I get my I.D. back?
- No, of course not, you can't.

237
00:08:46,133 --> 00:08:48,368
It'd be against the law,
you... wonderful creature.

238
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:49,769
Nice to meet you, Cece.

239
00:08:49,803 --> 00:08:51,871
Good God, you look nice.

240
00:08:51,905 --> 00:08:54,107
Nothing irks me like
underage drinking.

241
00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:56,476
It's stupid, it's dangerous,
it's irresponsible.

242
00:08:56,510 --> 00:09:00,146
God, I want to have sex with that kid
so bad, it's freaking me out!

243
00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:01,748
Oh. I'm real tingly.

244
00:09:03,283 --> 00:09:05,551
We have talk about the budget.

245
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,854
There's a problem with the budget?
But it's due Monday.

246
00:09:07,888 --> 00:09:09,856
- Yeah.
- Do we have too much money?

247
00:09:09,890 --> 00:09:11,891
- No.
- We need to fire people.

248
00:09:11,925 --> 00:09:15,161
- What?
- And when I say "we," I mean you.

249
00:09:15,195 --> 00:09:17,163
Start with the most recent hires.

250
00:09:17,197 --> 00:09:20,033
Well, we have, um... Janet
from the history department.

251
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:22,068
Human garbage.

252
00:09:22,102 --> 00:09:23,403
Okay.

253
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:24,637
Ernie, uh...

254
00:09:24,671 --> 00:09:25,638
Ah, yeah.

255
00:09:25,672 --> 00:09:26,739
No. That's Coach.

256
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:28,374
No. No. No.

257
00:09:28,409 --> 00:09:30,098
No, he's very good at his job.

258
00:09:30,256 --> 00:09:33,079
Last one in, first one out.
You know how this works.

259
00:09:33,113 --> 00:09:35,314
- That's just wrong.
- This is the job, Ms. Day.

260
00:09:35,349 --> 00:09:38,017
He's my friend. I can't. No. I'm not
doing it. I'm not firing Coach.

261
00:09:38,052 --> 00:09:39,819
This is the job, Ms. Day.

262
00:09:39,853 --> 00:09:42,021
Do you want it or not?

263
00:09:46,026 --> 00:09:47,026
I'm what?

264
00:09:47,061 --> 00:09:48,494
We had to do budget cuts,

265
00:09:48,529 --> 00:09:50,163
and we have to let two people go,

266
00:09:50,197 --> 00:09:52,665
and you're my friend,
and I couldn't stop it.

267
00:09:52,699 --> 00:09:53,766
I'm so sorry.

268
00:09:58,939 --> 00:10:00,573
We all pitched in.

269
00:10:00,607 --> 00:10:02,308
Thanks, guys,

270
00:10:02,342 --> 00:10:05,845
I'm not coach anymore.
I'm just Coach.

271
00:10:05,879 --> 00:10:08,481
- What?
- What?

272
00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:26,257
Morning, Winston.

273
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:32,430
Are you not talking to me?

274
00:10:32,464 --> 00:10:36,768
Look, I had to fire Coach for my job.

275
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,469
I didn't want to.

276
00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,939
Don't squint at me.

277
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,874
Don't do that.

278
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:45,643
I did it for my job.
It wasn't my choice.

279
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,046
- Hey, Nick, what's up, man?
- What's up, Winnie?

280
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,515
- Hey, Nick.
- Hey.

281
00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:52,550
- Can we talk for a second?
- Can I talk to you?

282
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,986
Schmidt fired me, and now
I'll never get to use

283
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:57,355
this briefcase I just
bought, and it was $19!

284
00:10:57,389 --> 00:10:59,123
- I think my thing is a little bit more...
- Do you think

285
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,125
I'm sexier when I hold it
or when it's down?

286
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,394
'Cause I think it's kind of sexier
when I hold it, like this.

287
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:06,331
- Not really.
- Do I look like a man of power?

288
00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:08,032
Imagine this:
It's, like, a rainy day,

289
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,801
I'm on the streets of New York,

290
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:13,304
Hey! Stop that cab!

291
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,207
I'm a businessman.
I'm late to an important meeting.

292
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,499
I honestly feel like
I would've been so good at this.

293
00:11:18,685 --> 00:11:21,012
You don't want to be a lawyer.
Why do you care whether

294
00:11:21,046 --> 00:11:22,146
- Schmidt fired you or not?
- I spent

295
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:24,015
all those years at law school

296
00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:25,617
with those preppy dicks...

297
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:27,796
and I never got
to prove them wrong, Jess.

298
00:11:27,846 --> 00:11:29,721
Okay, go after what you want.

299
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,389
Just make sure that

300
00:11:31,423 --> 00:11:33,024
what you want...

301
00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:36,261
doesn't make you a
cog on the wheel

302
00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:39,163
- of a larger, flawed system.
- Stop it.

303
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,698
Shut your mouth.

304
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:42,300
'Cause what you're
saying is beautiful.

305
00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,936
I'm gonna go put on my power suit.

306
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,604
High and loud, girl. Whoo!

307
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,739
Um...

308
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:48,740
Good talk, Nick.

309
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,174
With this thing, I feel so sexy,

310
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:51,943
It's disgusting.

311
00:11:51,977 --> 00:11:53,444
- I think you misunderstood...
- Whoo!

312
00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:58,950
- Your representation running late?
- Uh, no.

313
00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:00,535
Actually, I'll be representing
myself today.

314
00:12:00,718 --> 00:12:01,529
Sorry we're late.

315
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:03,955
- What?
- This building is a total mess.

316
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:06,190
Nick Miller of, uh, Cooper,
Bishop and Furguson.

317
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:09,627
As you know, my boss and senior
partner, Mr. Winston Furguson.

318
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:10,795
Gentlemen, pleased
to be with you. Please, please

319
00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:12,764
don't get up, don't get up.

320
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:13,898
I-I insist.

321
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:16,801
Madam Secretary.

322
00:12:16,835 --> 00:12:18,603
- What are you doing here?
- I'm representing you.

323
00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:20,238
- Everything all right?
- I'm a bit caught off guard.

324
00:12:20,272 --> 00:12:21,773
I wasn't expecting these two

325
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,374
very real lawyers to show up today.

326
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,109
Well, we wanted to
let you know that

327
00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:27,445
the entire firm is standing
behind you. Besides,

328
00:12:27,479 --> 00:12:29,614
whether I sit in my office
or in here...

329
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:32,250
it's all billable.
Am I right, gentlemen?

330
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:36,821
Shall we get into this,
or just take our pants off?

331
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,292
Ask him a question.

332
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,194
- Let me... Let me do my thing.
- Do your thing.

333
00:12:43,228 --> 00:12:44,662
Mr. Baker.

334
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:45,930
Yes?

335
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,102
What's your home address?

336
00:12:51,136 --> 00:12:53,104
522 Dugan Court Terrace.

337
00:12:53,138 --> 00:12:54,339
Okay.

338
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,743
Uh, no... no further questions.

339
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:00,478
What?

340
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,648
- Keep going.
- Ow!

341
00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:05,416
Just keep going.
What are you...

342
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,185
Don't hit me. What are
you hitting me for?

343
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,520
- Is everything all right?
- Sure it is. The meter's running.

344
00:13:13,158 --> 00:13:15,526
Even though you don't work
at Coolidge anymore,

345
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,929
you'll still be Coach
Coach to those kids.

346
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,464
It's Coach Coach.

347
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:20,965
Yeah, Coach Coach.

348
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,767
- Coach Coach.
- Coach Coa...

349
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:24,168
- Coach Coach.
- I'm sorry.

350
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:25,770
It's all good, Jess.

351
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:28,106
You did what you had to do.

352
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,208
I'm proud of you for that, okay?

353
00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:33,211
- Yeah.
- I hope I'm the first of many you fire.

354
00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:34,545
That really means a lot to me.

355
00:13:35,812 --> 00:13:36,948
I am gonna miss those kids, though.

356
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,783
- Yeah.
- That's what I'm gonna miss.

357
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,451
Those little...
those little bastards.

358
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,986
Little Ronnie.

359
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:44,288
Ronnie's so clumsy and slow.

360
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,357
- Yeah.
- Thomas.

361
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:49,594
I mean, he's strong, but that
boy is a classic middle child.

362
00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:52,864
He's just looking for love,
up, back and sideways.

363
00:13:54,199 --> 00:13:57,001
And Maurice.

364
00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:00,838
He always makes a mess
whenever he eats a Popsicle.

365
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:02,206
It's, like, dude,

366
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,908
stop sucking
your Popsicle like that, man.

367
00:14:03,942 --> 00:14:05,810
You're never gonna get
a girlfriend like that.

368
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,646
And then there's Hunter.

369
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:09,914
God...

370
00:14:09,948 --> 00:14:12,984
Fat... cross-eyed...

371
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,719
clod-hopping Hunter.

372
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:17,055
Hunter is
the sweetest little idiot

373
00:14:17,089 --> 00:14:18,656
there ever was.

374
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,892
He's so sweet!

375
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:22,727
He's so sweet!

376
00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:25,063
Ahh...

377
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,732
Screw this!

378
00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:30,668
Because... you told me...

379
00:14:30,702 --> 00:14:34,238
to go after what I wanted,
and this is not what I wanted.

380
00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:36,607
Let's go! We're gonna
get you to that game!

381
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:37,875
It's okay.
They're playing Pasadena.

382
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:40,278
They don't stand a chance.

383
00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:41,712
Pasadena has a bunch
of bitch-ass tricks.

384
00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:43,081
Weren't raised right.

385
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:46,250
Hey, what do you want?

386
00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:48,553
I don't know.
I want to be there.

387
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:52,090
So, spike that ball!

388
00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:55,693
That was not a ball.
That was beer.

389
00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:57,495
I know. I feel really bad about it.

390
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,297
- You know what? Don't feel bad!
- Let's go!

391
00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:01,365
- Let's go!
- You got me all fired up!

392
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,000
I think you're gonna have to drive.

393
00:15:06,401 --> 00:15:07,967
Mr. Miller:
"Were you or were you not

394
00:15:08,002 --> 00:15:09,369
wearing oversized shoes in the store?"

395
00:15:09,403 --> 00:15:12,272
Mr. Baker:
"I was not. I told you that."

396
00:15:12,306 --> 00:15:14,908
Mr Miller: "But are you sure?"
Mr. Schmidt: "Shut up, Nick."

397
00:15:14,942 --> 00:15:16,910
Mr. Miller:
"Let me do this. Ow. Stop it."

398
00:15:16,944 --> 00:15:19,245
Mr. Schmidt:
"Stop what? You're hitting yourself."

399
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,447
Mr. Miller: "You're a child."

400
00:15:21,482 --> 00:15:23,950
Mr. Schmidt: "A child
would be a better lawyer."

401
00:15:23,984 --> 00:15:26,419
Mr. Furguson:
"Children are our future."

402
00:15:26,453 --> 00:15:28,254
Mr. Berklan: "So true."

403
00:15:28,289 --> 00:15:29,856
Mr. Miller:
"I need to regroup.

404
00:15:29,890 --> 00:15:31,357
I'm gonna stall a
little bit. Watch this.

405
00:15:31,392 --> 00:15:33,760
Could the lady typer read that back?"

406
00:15:33,794 --> 00:15:35,161
All right, all right,
we've had enough.

407
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:37,030
My client is graciously willing

408
00:15:37,064 --> 00:15:39,132
to settle for $20,000.

409
00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:41,534
As an actual real attorney,

410
00:15:41,568 --> 00:15:42,969
I highly suggest you take the deal.

411
00:15:43,003 --> 00:15:45,705
- Great. We'll do...
- Not a chance.

412
00:15:45,739 --> 00:15:46,706
There's not a chance.

413
00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:47,807
Sidebar. Come on, Schmidt.

414
00:15:47,841 --> 00:15:49,042
- Hurry up.
- Just...

415
00:15:50,244 --> 00:15:52,412
You are not taking that settlement.

416
00:15:52,446 --> 00:15:53,947
Well, Nick, at least if it's $20,000,

417
00:15:53,981 --> 00:15:55,848
I can get out of that hole some day.

418
00:15:55,883 --> 00:15:58,318
I've got a plan. You just have
to give me a chance.

419
00:15:59,887 --> 00:16:01,321
Can you believe in me?

420
00:16:01,355 --> 00:16:03,556
All right, I believe in you. Deal.

421
00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:05,625
- Deal.
- What's the plan?

422
00:16:05,659 --> 00:16:07,560
Oh, I'm not telling you. You're
gonna get too mad. Let's go.

423
00:16:07,594 --> 00:16:09,862
Nick, I take it back! I don't...
I don't believe in you!

424
00:16:11,732 --> 00:16:13,232
Here.

425
00:16:16,036 --> 00:16:17,503
How long is this game?

426
00:16:17,538 --> 00:16:19,772
Go get 'em, Coach.

427
00:16:19,807 --> 00:16:22,909
All right, listen up,
you no-talent,

428
00:16:22,943 --> 00:16:24,711
idiot babies!

429
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:27,313
Give me that. Give me that.
Give me that. Give me that.

430
00:16:27,348 --> 00:16:28,648
Oh, thank God.

431
00:16:28,682 --> 00:16:30,216
Bring it in.

432
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,551
Come on.

433
00:16:31,585 --> 00:16:33,820
All right, now,

434
00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:35,922
who is gonna win this match?!

435
00:16:35,956 --> 00:16:37,256
Coolidge!

436
00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:38,324
Who's number one?

437
00:16:38,359 --> 00:16:39,926
Coolidge!

438
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,060
Let me hear it! Who are we?

439
00:16:41,095 --> 00:16:42,662
- Coolidge!
- Rakim!

440
00:16:42,696 --> 00:16:44,530
Really, Rakim?
Like I just walked you

441
00:16:44,565 --> 00:16:46,899
right up to it, and you're
gonna... We're gonna talk.

442
00:16:46,934 --> 00:16:49,168
- Coolidge!
- Too late, man. It's too late.

443
00:16:49,203 --> 00:16:51,337
All right, guys,
get out there and make me proud!

444
00:16:53,407 --> 00:16:55,041
- Ms. Day?
- What?

445
00:16:55,075 --> 00:16:57,844
What is going on?
I thought you fired Coach.

446
00:16:57,878 --> 00:17:00,413
Look, Coach loves the kids,
and the kids love him.

447
00:17:00,447 --> 00:17:02,749
I want this job, but I'm
not going to do it your way.

448
00:17:02,783 --> 00:17:05,118
I'm not going to let
our best people go.

449
00:17:05,152 --> 00:17:08,721
You were the one who told me,
we have no money.

450
00:17:08,756 --> 00:17:11,090
Yeah, but we can make it up in
other ways, we can be creative.

451
00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:13,026
We can rent out the multipurpose room

452
00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:14,961
after school to local clubs.

453
00:17:14,995 --> 00:17:16,763
And where will the orchestra practice?

454
00:17:16,797 --> 00:17:18,965
Did you ever consider that, Ms. Day?

455
00:17:18,999 --> 00:17:21,783
Or were you too busy
buying a ladies bike?

456
00:17:22,337 --> 00:17:23,903
- What?
- They can use the library.

457
00:17:23,937 --> 00:17:25,638
No one goes in there anyway.

458
00:17:25,672 --> 00:17:27,073
Yeah, let's burn the books!

459
00:17:27,107 --> 00:17:29,909
Except for The Da Vinci Code.

460
00:17:29,943 --> 00:17:32,812
Well, that took a weird turn, but...

461
00:17:32,846 --> 00:17:35,048
Thank you, Susan.
That-that's so nice.

462
00:17:35,082 --> 00:17:37,083
What a great solution.

463
00:17:37,117 --> 00:17:39,052
Come on! Let's do it!

464
00:17:39,086 --> 00:17:41,988
Oh! Hunter, you animal!

465
00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:46,959
Yeah! Hit the robot.

466
00:17:46,994 --> 00:17:48,594
Uh, uh, yeah, hit it.

467
00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:53,099
I guess we can figure out
some way to keep him here.

468
00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:55,435
God, you frost my cookies.

469
00:17:55,469 --> 00:17:57,103
Thank you.

470
00:17:57,137 --> 00:17:58,538
Way! Uh!

471
00:17:58,572 --> 00:17:59,972
Wait, what am I...
Get... get back out there.

472
00:18:00,007 --> 00:18:01,941
We got...
We still have a game to play.

473
00:18:01,975 --> 00:18:02,775
Hey, Coach, guess what?

474
00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:04,343
- Ball! Oh.
- Oh.

475
00:18:04,378 --> 00:18:05,745
It's okay.

476
00:18:05,779 --> 00:18:07,947
Don't laugh, guys.

477
00:18:07,981 --> 00:18:11,250
- Did you see that hit her face?
- I'm okay. I'm gonna sit down.

478
00:18:13,187 --> 00:18:14,987
So, are you gonna sit, or...?

479
00:18:15,022 --> 00:18:16,589
No, I'm gonna stand.

480
00:18:16,623 --> 00:18:18,024
'Cause isn't that what we are doing?

481
00:18:18,058 --> 00:18:19,659
Standing... for the little guy?

482
00:18:19,693 --> 00:18:20,660
What is the plan?

483
00:18:20,694 --> 00:18:22,662
Injustice!

484
00:18:22,696 --> 00:18:24,030
I will not stand for it.

485
00:18:24,064 --> 00:18:25,698
That is why I will sit right now.

486
00:18:25,732 --> 00:18:27,700
I will sit down

487
00:18:27,734 --> 00:18:29,869
in this chair...

488
00:18:31,338 --> 00:18:34,674
You're negligent! Aah!

489
00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:39,212
Get off me! My neck! My neck!

490
00:18:39,246 --> 00:18:41,781
Seriously? The fall-down
on the chair bit?

491
00:18:41,815 --> 00:18:43,449
- Is this your first case?
- Yes, it is.

492
00:18:43,484 --> 00:18:46,552
And that is why I'll file
petition on petition.

493
00:18:46,587 --> 00:18:48,187
You're gonna wake up in
the morning to paperwork.

494
00:18:48,222 --> 00:18:51,357
You're gonna go to bed at night
to paperwork.

495
00:18:52,292 --> 00:18:53,860
So how about this, gentlemen?

496
00:18:53,894 --> 00:18:57,864
You pay the $20,000 settlement
to your client yourself,

497
00:18:57,898 --> 00:19:00,566
and you'll never
see our faces again.

498
00:19:00,601 --> 00:19:02,034
What do you call a lunatic

499
00:19:02,069 --> 00:19:05,538
who's only got one case
and no hobbies?

500
00:19:05,572 --> 00:19:07,573
Your worst nightmare.

501
00:19:07,608 --> 00:19:10,243
Let's go, guys.

502
00:19:11,512 --> 00:19:14,147
Listen, Bill,

503
00:19:14,181 --> 00:19:15,915
if you ever want
to play with the big boys,

504
00:19:15,949 --> 00:19:19,218
you'll give me a ring, won't you?

505
00:19:21,688 --> 00:19:24,023
This is a baseball card.

506
00:19:24,057 --> 00:19:26,526
Yeah.

507
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:27,560
All right!

508
00:19:27,594 --> 00:19:29,428
- All right. You did it.
- I did it.

509
00:19:29,463 --> 00:19:30,530
- Salud.
- Cheers!

510
00:19:32,243 --> 00:19:33,327
- Oh!
- Oh!

511
00:19:33,367 --> 00:19:34,112
Another round of shots.

512
00:19:34,294 --> 00:19:36,102
- On the house!
- You don't get to say that, Winnie.

513
00:19:36,136 --> 00:19:37,336
You know that, right? Okay.

514
00:19:37,371 --> 00:19:39,338
Oh, I knew you'd come back for me.

515
00:19:39,373 --> 00:19:42,408
So what do you want to do
now? You want to just drive?

516
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:44,110
Oh, no. Mike!

517
00:19:44,144 --> 00:19:45,611
- What?
- Ple... I got it.

518
00:19:45,646 --> 00:19:46,946
Thank you.

519
00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:48,915
Hey, what you doing here?

520
00:19:48,949 --> 00:19:50,449
- I just wanted to come and say...
- Mm-hmm.

521
00:19:50,484 --> 00:19:51,784
First things first.

522
00:19:51,818 --> 00:19:53,619
The legal drinking age
in Australia is 18.

523
00:19:53,654 --> 00:19:55,755
Second, you're really beautiful.

524
00:19:55,789 --> 00:19:57,256
Like, you're really beautiful.

525
00:19:57,291 --> 00:19:59,358
Like, I want
to take you out some time.

526
00:19:59,393 --> 00:20:02,094
But because I'm 20 and already
at a bit of a disadvantage,

527
00:20:02,129 --> 00:20:04,130
I thought I'd come
and do some uncharacteristic

528
00:20:04,164 --> 00:20:05,932
self-promotion to help the cause?

529
00:20:05,966 --> 00:20:07,400
- Okay.
- And let you know that

530
00:20:07,434 --> 00:20:09,135
well, I just opened my own business.

531
00:20:09,169 --> 00:20:11,270
I build boats.

532
00:20:11,305 --> 00:20:13,306
Uh, wooden boats with my hands.

533
00:20:13,340 --> 00:20:16,075
- Mm-hmm.
- Um, old ladies love me.

534
00:20:16,109 --> 00:20:17,577
They call me sensitive.

535
00:20:17,611 --> 00:20:18,911
And I'm a really good cook.

536
00:20:18,946 --> 00:20:20,980
But I know three dishes,

537
00:20:21,014 --> 00:20:22,676
and two of those dishes
are the same thing.

538
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:26,586
Yeah, that's about it,
so, what do you think?

539
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,054
Do you want to get a drink?

540
00:20:28,088 --> 00:20:29,789
Like a soft drink with you?

541
00:20:29,823 --> 00:20:31,624
- Soft drink, a walk.
- Can you have a coffee?

542
00:20:31,658 --> 00:20:33,259
- Yeah, I love coffee.
- Mm-hmm.

543
00:20:33,293 --> 00:20:36,896
It's one of the three meals
that I know how I make.

544
00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:39,498
All right.

545
00:20:39,533 --> 00:20:41,267
- Oh, do it!
- Well, done, sir!

546
00:20:41,301 --> 00:20:42,802
- Oh!
- Oh, yeah.

547
00:20:42,836 --> 00:20:44,003
Or you know what? We could

548
00:20:44,037 --> 00:20:45,972
actually... we could
probably just go now.

549
00:20:46,006 --> 00:20:48,107
I'd like to comb your hair, you hunk.

550
00:20:48,141 --> 00:20:49,442
I don't know who they are.
They just come in here,

551
00:20:49,476 --> 00:20:51,143
and they drink,
and make a lot of noise

552
00:20:51,178 --> 00:20:52,445
and talk about things
they don't know about!

553
00:20:52,479 --> 00:20:53,846
Hey, Mike,
I'm gonna take a break. Um...

554
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,615
I don't know when I'll be back.
I'll just meet you out front.

555
00:20:57,017 --> 00:20:58,150
Stop what you're doing.

556
00:20:58,185 --> 00:21:00,686
There's a lawyer here to make...

557
00:21:00,721 --> 00:21:02,088
Jessica?

558
00:21:02,122 --> 00:21:04,123
Jessica, I won the case.

559
00:21:05,659 --> 00:21:10,029
If you woke up right now,
we could be making love.

560
00:21:10,063 --> 00:21:11,831
Jessica?

561
00:21:11,865 --> 00:21:14,467
Power couple.

562
00:21:30,661 --> 00:21:33,884
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