1
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:04,169
ALL:
Road trip!
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,004
NICK: See you guys.
3
00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:06,038
JESS:
Have a good time.
4
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,206
SCHMIDT:
Let's go.
5
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,607
We're just gonna
have a chill day in.
6
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,175
WINSTON: Road trip!
NICK: Yeah!
7
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:11,877
I said, "Chill day in..."
8
00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,213
...but did I mean it?
9
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:15,681
(laughs)
10
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,349
Wait, I thought we were
having a chill day.
11
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,018
Oh... we are...
12
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,786
Oh, good.
...not.
13
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:21,854
Welcome to
14
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,856
your bachelorette party 2.0.
15
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,190
I got...
16
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,492
the nail polish.
Mm.
17
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,527
I got comfy socks.
Okay.
18
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,296
I have Canadian
Broadcast Television's
19
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:32,464
1985 masterpiece,
20
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,466
Anne of Green Gables.
21
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,467
Good ol' A.G.G.
22
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:36,468
But, oh, wait...
23
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,203
who invited this
24
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:40,372
little green chimney?
25
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,241
I-it's a bong.
26
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:43,142
Yeah.
27
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,710
Oh, scoot, once every ten years,
28
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,812
Jessica Day likes to partake
29
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:50,215
in what the Native Americans
call cannabis.
30
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,250
That's Latin.
I like to call it
31
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:52,317
Giggle Dirt.
32
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:53,652
You know, we really don't
33
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:54,987
have to do this,
because every time
34
00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:56,655
you smoke weed you almost die.
35
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,158
I'm gonna Jackass
into these melons!
36
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,325
Ah...
37
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:01,827
Ah...
38
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,829
♪ Return of the mack ♪
39
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:04,830
♪ Oh, my God ♪
40
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,398
♪ Return of high Jess ♪
41
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,332
♪ Here I am ♪
42
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,500
♪ Return of high Jess ♪
43
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,568
♪ Once again ♪
44
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,670
♪ Return of the mack ♪
(whoops)
45
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,172
♪ Top of the world ♪
46
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,506
♪ Return of the mack,
watch my flow... ♪
47
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,075
Anne Shirley...
48
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,411
...what in heck are you doing?
49
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,514
Fishing for lake trout.
50
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,849
Hey.
Hmm?
51
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,818
GILBERT: For lake trout?
Remember Coach?
52
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:28,954
(laughing):
Oh, yeah.
53
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,622
Where is he?
54
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,991
♪ ♪
55
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,096
Anne, wait, wait a minute.
56
00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:38,430
I was just down
at the post office
57
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,631
to see if the Queens results...
Like, why...
58
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:40,933
like, why...
59
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:43,035
like why are Gilbert's
lips so sexual?
60
00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:46,638
Wait a minute, you ninny,
we tied for first place,
61
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,107
you and I.
Man, I...
62
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,375
I-I love Schmidt,
you know I love Schmidt,
63
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,711
but I would throw it
all away for Gilbert.
64
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,047
I would just ruin
my life to that boy.
65
00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:56,882
I'm just sorry you
had to share it with me.
66
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,884
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
67
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:00,152
Wait a minute.
68
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:01,820
The very fact that socks exist
69
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,289
is proof that shoes don't work.
70
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,724
Oh, my God, I... my hearing is,
71
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,793
like, so good without
my glasses on.
72
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,061
I'm, like...
73
00:02:09,063 --> 00:02:11,730
a super hear-o.
74
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:12,664
Just...
75
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:13,665
eating up sounds
76
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,900
with my ear mouths.
77
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,568
Oh, my God,
oh, my God,
78
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,237
oh, my God, oh, my God.
79
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:21,507
Oh, my God,
wait till you try that.
80
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,475
Okay.
Put them on.
81
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,578
It's like my hearing is, like,
what a dog hears.
82
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,347
ANNE: ...and I was calmly
waiting for it.
83
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:30,582
I can hear the TV.
84
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,351
I can hear
the TV.
85
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:33,418
I can hear the TV.
86
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:34,920
(sighs)
Man.
87
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:36,088
Oh, my God.
88
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,489
Okay, this stuff
is really strong.
89
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,491
Where did you get it?
90
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,360
I know people...
91
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:43,195
through you.
92
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:46,698
So, it's just gonna be me
and Cece, uh, but I want to,
93
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,600
you know, throw a little...
94
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,502
gasoline on the fire,
if you know what I mean.
95
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,772
I have Russian
nesting doll.
96
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,007
Uh-oh.
97
00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:56,942
It's grenade.
98
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,043
Just looking for
99
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,878
a little weed, Nadia.
100
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,947
And what the heck, throw in
that bag of kettle corn, too.
101
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,785
(laughs)
102
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,021
(knocking on door)
103
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,390
Oh, scoot!
104
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,958
You got me a stripper?!
105
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,126
So, uh, you want me to sign
my package, or...
106
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:15,127
Wait, I think
107
00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:17,062
he's just a...
A man...
108
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,131
trying to do my job for
the U.S. Postal Service,
109
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,232
not a stripper.
110
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,400
Yes, I dance.
111
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,135
Yes, I'm sexy...
112
00:03:23,137 --> 00:03:24,403
but I don't do it
professionally.
113
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,804
Now, could you please
just sign here?
114
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,406
Your calves look
like a snake
115
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:28,874
swallowed a bag of ropes.
You know that, right?
116
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,142
I'm sorry for my friend
117
00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:31,476
objectifying you,
118
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:34,813
but in her defense,
you are fine as hell.
119
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,148
Fine as hell!
120
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:37,316
I know you're
not a stripper,
121
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:38,383
but is there any
way you could
122
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,384
just take your
short pants off?
123
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,419
Mm-hmm.
124
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,486
(chuckles)
Have a nice day.
125
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,487
Om, nom, nom,
nom, nom, nom, nom,
126
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,722
nom, nom, nom.
Nom, nom, nom.
127
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,324
Sorry.
Very sorry.
128
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,758
Sorry, sorry. But we are
not sorry about that.
129
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,660
Keep walking away there!
Oh, keep... slow...
130
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,395
it down there for a second.
(whooping)
131
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,396
Ay-ay-ay.
Ooh...
132
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,831
(yelling grito)
133
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:53,732
(both catcalling)
134
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,601
Smack that! Sorry.
Ooh.
135
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,836
(grunts)
136
00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,004
I think this is
137
00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,772
a gift from our registry.
138
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,174
Wait, don't open it!
139
00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:03,508
What if i-inside of it
140
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:06,078
is us, but we're older?
141
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,846
I've no clue what this is.
142
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:10,282
You know, Schmidt handled
everything from the registry.
143
00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:12,584
(scanner beeping)
Crockpot!
144
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,785
Kettle, kettle!
145
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:14,786
Espresso maker!
146
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:15,754
Trivet!
147
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,422
Melon baller!
148
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,026
It's a bread maker?
149
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,127
From...
150
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:23,695
oh, from Schmidt's mom.
151
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:27,532
"Cece, this bread maker
couldn't be easier to use.
152
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:29,034
"It has one button.
153
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,436
"Even you can do it
with a few tries.
154
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,771
"Ha, ha,
155
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,206
Louise."
156
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,541
What does that mean?!
157
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,377
Oh, no.
158
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,378
She...
159
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,046
Oh, no!
160
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,314
I mean, is she trying to say
161
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,150
that I can't even
push one button?
162
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,119
She doesn't think
that I can take care
163
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,954
of her precious, little boy.
164
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,289
She doesn't like
that Schmidt does
165
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,390
all the cooking...
Hold up,
166
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,892
hold up, hold up,
hold up, hold up.
167
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,894
This simple bitch
168
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,262
wants you to be
some kind of
169
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,397
June Cleaver, Betty Draper,
170
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,399
Carol Brady wifey?!
171
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:01,233
Mm-mm.
It is the
172
00:05:01,235 --> 00:05:02,501
21st century!
Uh-huh.
173
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,835
Fifth generation feminism!
174
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,504
Keep going.
Work-life balance!
175
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,471
We need to rise up.
Yeah!
176
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,574
22% less pay for the same job?!
177
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:10,742
Don't tell me what to wax!
178
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,411
Sideburn where my thigh turn.
179
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,845
You know what we need
to do to this thing?!
180
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:14,813
Bake bread in it!
181
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,748
Wait, wait, wait!
182
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:17,816
What, what?!
183
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:22,254
You'll do a lot more
damage with this.
184
00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:23,388
This is why I love you.
185
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,259
Homemade bread's
for Europeans!
186
00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:28,327
That's right!
Yeah!
187
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,328
U.S.A.!
188
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:32,030
BOTH:
U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
189
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:35,367
Oh, my God, I just realized
some day I'm gonna have
190
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:38,003
to speak at my mother's funeral.
191
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,504
Wow.
192
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,873
U.S.A.!
U.S.A.!
193
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:42,874
(phone ringing) U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
194
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,276
Oh, wait...
hey!
195
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,111
We're coming up on
the rental place right now.
196
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,512
I just got an
e-mail notification
197
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,681
that our first wedding
gift has arrived.
198
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,016
Oh, y-you did?
199
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,284
Spoiler alert,
200
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:54,686
it's a bread maker.
Bread maker.
201
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,954
Cece, do me a favor
and bring it inside.
202
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,189
It's in the hallway right now.
203
00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:58,390
Yeah, I'll-I'll go...
204
00:05:58,392 --> 00:05:59,691
I'll go get the...
the bread maker
205
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,626
and bring it inside,
in one piece,
206
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:02,694
safe and sound.
207
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,795
I love you so much,
I got to go.
208
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,297
SCHMIDT, NICK, WINSTON:
Bread maker!
209
00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:07,132
(phone beeps off)
210
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,967
This was shipped
like this
211
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,136
so we are gonna
need a new one.
212
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,371
You obviously
broke this yourself.
213
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:13,372
Uh...
214
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:14,573
(laughs)
215
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:15,974
...you obviously
broke it yourself.
216
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:16,975
Yup.
217
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,143
No.
(Jess laughs)
218
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,311
You crushed it
with your mind.
219
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,846
Okay, you're calling me a witch?
No, no, no,
220
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:23,248
a sorceress,
a sorceress.
221
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,383
You just have
magical powers,
222
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,684
you don't like...
223
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,219
I don't know how
I can help you today.
224
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:28,220
It's like that episode of...
225
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,221
remember that episode?
226
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,255
Yeah.
227
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:31,556
Of that... yeah.
228
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,657
(sighs)
229
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,431
So...
230
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,233
Okay, so, like, um...
231
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,635
how-how much would it...
would it be to replace it?
232
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,605
It's $1,200.
233
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,877
Is there a store
in the mall
234
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:56,581
that sells $1,200
for, like, $50?
235
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,120
How is this thing
so expensive?
236
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,389
JESS: Aly!
237
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,458
What are you doing here?
238
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,059
Seriously?
239
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,628
We just had this conversation
outside the mall.
240
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:10,762
Hey.
JESS: Aly!
241
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,264
What are you doing here?
242
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,799
You don't... remember that?
243
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,634
No, no, I do, I do.
244
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,469
You don't, do you?
I don't.
245
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,570
(Jess laughs)
246
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,138
I don't.
I do.
247
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,807
Really? No. Okay.
248
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,475
It's Cece's bachelorette party.
249
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:25,444
Yeah...
250
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,379
It's Cece's
bachelorette party.
251
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:28,547
Oh, yeah.
252
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:29,815
You do remember it? No. (laughs)
253
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:30,649
Don't remember it?
254
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:31,783
Mm-mm.
Anyway...
255
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,318
this is my super
256
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,986
present boyfriend, Tripp.
257
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:35,954
I'm sorry,
258
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:36,922
he's dealing with a very
259
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,123
important work crisis
260
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,258
right now,
since he's an agent
261
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,827
for animal actors.
262
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,328
Fine, fine!
263
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,830
Hire Colonel Fantastic
instead of Maurice.
264
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,431
You want to walk onto
Alfonso Cuarón's set
265
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,266
and tell him that
he lost his lead otter,
266
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:49,801
be my-be my guest, okay.
267
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,336
Who's gonna get her in the water
with Naomi Watts?
268
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:52,838
Colonel Fantastic?
269
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,606
Yeah, right.
270
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,475
It's my fifth year
anniversary of being a cop
271
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,443
and he's supposed
to make me dinner...
272
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:00,345
if he ever gets off the phone.
273
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,680
Hey, babe,
274
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,181
I need a left-handed
spatula, okay?
275
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,916
Don't tell me it's not
a thing; it's a thing.
276
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,853
Soul mates do exist.
277
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:08,854
(laughs)
278
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:09,855
What a wang.
279
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,022
(both chuckle)
280
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,023
You know what?
Hmm?
281
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,191
(gasps)
282
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,626
I'm gonna tell Aly that
283
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,294
Winston's in love with her!
284
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,696
No, Winston would kill you.
285
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,164
Okay, I'll just text Winston
286
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,866
and I'll get him up to speed
287
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,033
on Aly and Tripp.
288
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:27,172
(humming):
Nailed it.
289
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,507
Excuse me,
are you actually
290
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,508
gonna buy something?
291
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:30,709
Yeah, we need
to buy another
292
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,043
bread maker,
'cause you claim
293
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,346
we "destroyed" this one
"with a stick."
294
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,147
I never said stick
and we're out of stock.
295
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,883
Well, maybe that's
what you said.
296
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,718
You destroyed this
thing with the stock.
297
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:40,719
Is that what you did?
298
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:41,720
You beat this with a stick?
299
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,889
No, I didn't, I said you said...
300
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,724
you said stick.
But I didn't say stick.
301
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:46,658
I never said stick.
302
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,559
I don't even have a stick.
303
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:48,960
I live downtown.
304
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,829
Well, we're-we're
out of stock, so...
305
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:51,897
But you-you have
one right there.
306
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:52,831
(gasps)
Oh...
307
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,232
that's the floor model.
308
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,567
Can't sell the floor model.
Yes, you...
309
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,202
it's right there.
It's right there.
310
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,236
We need it to sell
other bread makers.
311
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,571
You just said
312
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,339
you don't have
other bread makers.
313
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,240
I don't make the rules.
314
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,542
Who makes the rules?
315
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:05,210
Derek.
316
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,511
(inhaling)
317
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:07,913
Definitely too high
No, I cannot deal
318
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,448
to talk to Derek.
with Derek right now.
319
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,919
Okay, I have a really
good plan, all right?
320
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:16,187
We just leave this here
321
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:17,923
and then we go do
something different.
322
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,925
Jessica, that is the first thing
323
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,193
that Schmidt and I own together
and I ruined it.
324
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,662
I have to do something.
325
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,430
I have to replace it.
326
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,765
(sighs)
327
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,667
Okay.
328
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,110
MAN:
♪ Feel like baking love ♪
329
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,847
♪ Feel like baking love ♪
330
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:46,952
What?
331
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:50,055
How does it know we're here?
332
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:52,691
♪ Feel like baking love... ♪
333
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:53,959
What's happening?
♪ Feel like ♪
334
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,627
♪ F-feel like baking ♪
335
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,129
♪ Feel like baking love ♪
336
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,598
(whispering):
Psst! Hey...
337
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,099
♪ Feel like baking love ♪
338
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,133
♪ Feel like-feel like ♪
339
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,035
Snap out of it,
snap out of it.
340
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,870
♪ Feel like baking love,
feel like ♪
341
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:08,406
Get down. Snap out of it. ♪ Feel like...
feel like baking love ♪
342
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:11,076
♪ ♪
343
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,811
(sighs)
344
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,213
(grunts)
Get this puppy...
345
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,826
(clattering)
346
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,160
♪ Feel like baking love ♪
347
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,262
♪ ♪
348
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,164
Should we get snacks?
349
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,569
♪ Feel like baking love ♪
350
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,439
♪ Feel like
baking love ♪
351
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:42,841
♪ Feel like baking love ♪
352
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,376
(whispering):
Go, go!
353
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,946
No, he won't wear glasses.
354
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,347
Uh, because he's not
355
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:51,116
a library owl,
he's a horror movie owl.
356
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,517
Look,
357
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,486
we're gonna do your cop
dinner thing tomorrow.
358
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,021
(sighs)
359
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,856
Yeah, this is just how
I wanted to celebrate a major
360
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,791
milestone. (gasps)
What's happening there?
361
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:00,992
Forget it, okay? Just go.
362
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,093
And I hope your owl
363
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,628
chokes on a mouse.
364
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,197
That is so mean.
365
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,332
I've seen that happen.
366
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,201
(gasps)
Did they just break up?
367
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,670
This is huge for Winston.
368
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:14,005
What are you... what...
Hey, Jess, move.
369
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,340
Jess, move, come on.
Keep moving.
370
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,342
Keep moving, keep moving,
keep moving.
371
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,678
Let's go, let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go, let's go.
372
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:20,679
Almost there,
almost there.
373
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:21,680
ALY: Ugh.
Oh!
374
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:22,881
Tripp just took off.
375
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,049
What, uh...
376
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,884
are... what are you guys doing?
377
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,552
BOTH: Nothing. Do you
need help with that box?
378
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,486
Nope.
No, we're good.
379
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,521
It looks heavy,
I can help you.
380
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,889
No, you don't want
to get involved,
381
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:31,990
trust me. Please,
don't make me say it.
382
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,858
Fine, I'll say it.
383
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,561
I don't really want to be alone
right now, and so...
384
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:39,230
can I please just... like,
come help you guys
385
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,365
make bread or whatever?
386
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,900
Aw, of course, yeah.
Let's go.
387
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,034
Got to go quickly,
got to go quickly.
388
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,035
Yeah, yeah,
let's go, let's go.
389
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,670
Did you trash
the display?
390
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,739
Is that a stolen floor model?
391
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:49,407
Back off!
392
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,643
Do these ladies look like
shoplifters to you?
393
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,914
Oh, no.
394
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,182
What are you doing?
395
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,516
This isn't how you
handcuff people.
396
00:11:58,518 --> 00:11:59,517
It's mall jail.
397
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,585
I only have
two handcuffs.
398
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:01,753
I'm an actual cop.
399
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:02,754
(laughing):
Yeah, right.
400
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:03,922
I'm a cop!
401
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,356
For the love of
mack daddy,
402
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,092
why can't you be cool?
Shut it!
403
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,093
You're in my house now.
404
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,861
Calm down, sir,
your house is clearly
405
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,096
a lost and found.
406
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,098
JESS:
And it's all just baby shoes...
407
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,599
and babies don't
even need shoes.
408
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,701
Why not put that money
towards something worthwhile
409
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,703
like a cute hat or a raincoat?
410
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,605
(laughing):
A baby in a raincoat.
411
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,941
It's like... just like a...
412
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,876
a little baby meteorologist.
413
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,077
(laughs)
414
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,579
Hey, so, it's this simple, okay.
415
00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:28,913
We wanted to pay
for the bread maker,
416
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,281
but they wouldn't
let us pay for it
417
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,583
because it was a floor model,
418
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,351
so we had a plan...
I don't care.
419
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,589
(laughs)
(lock clicks)
420
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:38,790
(laughs)
421
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,458
Baby in a raincoat.
422
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,626
(Jess laughing)
423
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,132
This is bad, you guys.
This is really bad!
424
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,133
He's gonna call
the real cops
425
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,634
and I'm gonna be
in so much trouble.
426
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,302
I could lose my job...
427
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,771
or worse...
428
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:53,805
(gasps)
429
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,273
...they put me on train duty.
430
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,308
I'm so sorry we got you
in this situation, okay.
431
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,077
I am so sorry, too.
432
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:00,478
Okay, how do we
get out of here?
433
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,247
How, how?
Before the cops come.
434
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:03,281
Oh!
435
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,983
Yes, okay, guys,
436
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,785
here's how we get out of here.
437
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,953
We dress up in the clothes
from the lost and found,
438
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,755
and we start crying,
439
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:13,625
and then he comes back in and
he's like, "Where are the girls?
440
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:16,327
This is just babies in here."
441
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,729
You're incredibly high.
442
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:19,664
No.
443
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,299
Yeah.
No.
444
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,001
Mm-hmm.
No. No.
445
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:24,636
Yeah. Yeah. Who?
446
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,671
You. You, babe.
How did you know?
447
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,439
Oh, I knew from the
first second I saw you.
448
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:29,974
Like, literally
the first second.
449
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,643
Okay, ideas,
you, go.
450
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,145
Oh, no, no, no,
I am not giving you any ideas
451
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,981
because it was my idea
that got us into this mess
452
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,183
in the first place.
453
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,851
First...
454
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,987
I bashed Schmidt's
$1,200 bread maker.
455
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,289
$1,200?
Yeah.
456
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:45,957
(gasps) For a bread maker?
I know.
457
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,259
That's a lot of dough.
458
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,696
I'm trying to wink.
459
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:52,864
Am I winking?
460
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,300
Then I got
my best friend here
461
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:56,701
to commit a crime,
462
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:59,838
and now you might have...
train duty?
463
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,307
It's like marathon duty
but without the hot guys
464
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,541
pooping their pants.
465
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,043
What does that say about me
466
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:08,513
if I can't even take care
of a bread maker?
467
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,014
What if Louise was right?
468
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,150
What if I can't take care
of Schmidt?
469
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:15,053
How can you say you don't
take care of people?
470
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,889
You've been taking care
of me my entire life.
471
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,557
You're fierce
and you are strong,
472
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:23,361
and you would stand up
for anyone that you love.
473
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,730
You're like a big,
scary mama bear.
474
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,233
I'm gonna Jackass
into these melons!
475
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,500
(grunting)
476
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,702
JESS:
Ah...
477
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,471
(Jess laughing)
478
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:38,076
I'm okay.
479
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,911
(sighs)
480
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,247
You're my mama bear, girl.
481
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,915
Oh...
482
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,017
I wish I had someone
483
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,585
in my life who cared
about me the way
484
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:48,753
you guys care
about each other.
485
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:49,888
(gasps)
486
00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:51,656
(whispering):
Oh, don't.
487
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,424
(whispering): You do. I just...
I've been a cop
488
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,393
for five years and...
You do.
489
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,494
Jessica!
490
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:57,562
...I just wanted
to celebrate it,
491
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,597
(mouthing) but then
Tripp had to leave
492
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,266
to meet an owl for sushi.
493
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:03,601
An owl he sent
a basket of mice
494
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,770
to at Christmas, who
495
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,772
I'm pretty sure has
a nicer house than me.
496
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,540
(gasps)
Let me tell her... please!
497
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,942
(door opens)
I'll blame it on being stoned.
498
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:11,943
Stoned?
499
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,611
You're stoned?
500
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,079
That makes this a drug case.
501
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,047
Okay, yeah, you have no idea
502
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,448
what you're talking about.
503
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:18,917
Wait, no, I made a mistake.
You better get
504
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,551
comfortable,
you're gonna be here
505
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,053
for a long time, lady!
506
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:22,887
A long time!
507
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,590
Oh, you little...
508
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,091
power trip...
509
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,393
trash guard!
510
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,460
You know what?
511
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,296
This is over!
512
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,630
The only way you
513
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,098
are gonna get to her
514
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,800
is if you go through me,
515
00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:40,371
and you are not
getting through me.
516
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:45,643
(in slow motion):
Mama bear.
517
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,879
(Cece growls)
ALY: Oh...
518
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,483
(in slow motion):
Oh, don't do that. No...
519
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,752
♪ Oh ♪
520
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:55,987
Hey, no!
521
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:56,988
No, no, no!
522
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:57,989
♪ Return of the mack ♪
523
00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:00,491
I have a system.
524
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,260
♪ Return of the mack ♪
(guard yells)
525
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:03,261
♪ Come on ♪
526
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,429
♪ Return of the mack ♪
527
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,297
♪ Oh, my God ♪
No, please.
528
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,166
♪ Return of the mack,
here I am ♪ The shoes.
529
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,334
♪ Return of the mack ♪
I had those all paired off.
530
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,335
♪ Once again ♪
531
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:11,336
♪ Return of the mack ♪
532
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:12,804
♪ Top of the world ♪
Run!
533
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,439
♪ Return of the mack ♪
534
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,773
♪ Watch my flow ♪
No!
535
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,241
What?
536
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,777
♪ Return of the mack ♪
Hey, no, wait! No!
537
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:20,778
♪ ♪
538
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,146
♪ Return of the mack ♪
539
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,181
♪ Watch my flow ♪
540
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,315
♪ Return of the mack ♪
541
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,316
♪ Here I go... ♪
542
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,684
Mama bear!
543
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,686
That was
freaking awesome!
544
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,355
Aly, Winston has
a crush on you!
545
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,290
(music stops)
What?
546
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,791
♪ Return of the mack ♪
Bishop has a crush on me?!
547
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:34,892
♪ Up and down... ♪
Run!
548
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,165
Bishop has a crush on me?
549
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,166
Bishop?
550
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,801
Mm-hmm.
551
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,370
No, I can't date my partner.
552
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,038
Why not?
He's the best guy!
553
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,706
And you broke up
with what's-his-name.
554
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:49,707
What? No, I didn't.
555
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,542
Hmm?
No, Tripp and I are
556
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,277
just... we're in a fight.
557
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,848
Ah.
558
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,182
Interesting
559
00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,384
information.
560
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,519
I...
561
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,888
texted Winston and
told him you were single.
562
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:04,822
What?
Oh...
563
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,057
it's fine.
564
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,392
They're in Las Vegas.
565
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:08,993
They're...
566
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:12,797
stuffing coins into the
underpanties of women.
567
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,168
Oh, my God!
568
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:18,236
CECE:
What happened to you?
569
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,871
We can't talk
570
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,472
about it right now. We're here
to help Winston with...
571
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,907
Who did that to you? Where are they?
I will kill them.
572
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,342
Oh, uh...
573
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:26,411
truth be told,
it was a child.
574
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:27,578
WINSTON: Uh, Aly. Child?
575
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:28,913
You're... you're here.
576
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,415
(laughs)
577
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,750
Uh, guys, you...
578
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,352
you ready? JESS: Winston.
579
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:36,087
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait.
No... no.
580
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,221
Mm-mm, no.
Trust me.
581
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,189
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
Don't. Mm-mm.
582
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:42,260
♪ Alison ♪
583
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,896
♪ I know this world ♪ Aly,
um, look, I really like you,
584
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,098
♪ Is killing ♪
and, um...
585
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,933
♪ You, oh ♪ look, I know you just
broke up with your boyfriend,
586
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,601
♪ Alison ♪ but...
whenever you're ready,
587
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,737
I'd like to take you on a date.
(mouthing)
588
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,939
A real date, you know,
with food, and music...
589
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,441
Bishop, I didn't...
590
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,943
♪ My aim ♪
I didn't break up with him.
591
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:01,012
♪ Oh, you've got
a husband now. ♪
592
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:03,714
We didn't break up.
593
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,683
I'm sorry, uh...
594
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:07,585
Jess said...
595
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,620
There was a
miscommunication.
596
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,557
It wasn't really me.
597
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,225
It was high Jess.
598
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,593
I missed high Jess?!
599
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,228
Now I have to wait
another ten years?
600
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,729
I can't take it anymore.
I just have to say something.
601
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,465
Cece, I'm still in love
with you, all right?
602
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,100
Don't marry Schmidt.
603
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,768
That's a big mistake, all right?
You run away with me...
604
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,036
Not now, Robby.
Honestly, stop.
605
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:27,138
Now's not the time, Robby.
Okay, it makes sense, I...
606
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,806
I've been in this apartment
before, I'm certain of it.
607
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,274
It was 1972.
608
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,244
Gore Vidal, Linda Lavin,
and I were all drunk
609
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,946
on white port and
cough syrup...
610
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:36,314
Guys, quiet, please,
611
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,315
I just...
612
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,316
I need to talk to Bishop
613
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,317
for a second.
614
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,719
I'm so sorry about this.
615
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:45,790
That song was nice.
616
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,460
Um... Aly is actually
not short for Alison
617
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,661
but...
618
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,096
it was really good effort.
Okay, cool,
619
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:53,798
yeah, that's...
(exhales)
620
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,800
I'm-I'm good.
I'm good, um...
621
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,169
Tripp, you know,
he's a very lucky guy,
622
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:00,004
very lucky guy, but I'm fine.
Don't worry about me.
623
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,439
I'm just gonna go to my room
624
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,508
and try to shove my face
through a heating grate.
625
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,775
(chuckles)
626
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,111
Yeah, Jess, I will deal
with you in the morning.
627
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,514
You know what my Grammy
always said,
628
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,516
"Why put off for tomorrow-day,
629
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:15,386
what you could say,
nnn... today-day?"
630
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:18,489
Yeah.
631
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,158
Oh, Aly, um...
632
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,792
Happy Copiversary.
633
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:24,028
You've been a cop
five years today,
634
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,130
and I know how much
that means to you,
635
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,032
so...
636
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:31,536
congratulations,
I am very proud of you.
637
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:32,537
Oh, my...
638
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:33,938
Wait, Winston.
639
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:37,041
Uh, something told me
not to go with copiversary.
640
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:39,877
My first choice, though,
was Police Navidad.
641
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,746
No, I just...
642
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,382
You remembered.
643
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,650
(chuckles)
644
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,385
Well, of course, I remembered.
645
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,187
I mean, I'm your partner,
646
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,254
why wouldn't I re...
I mean, I...
647
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,236
Thank you.
648
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,073
(shouting in Russian)
649
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,041
You!
650
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,075
(Jess shouts)
651
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,610
(panicked shouting, screaming)
652
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:21,319
(gasping)
653
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:25,223
Welcome to Russian
bachelorette party!
654
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:26,691
Oh, Nadia!
Nadia, you look stunning!
655
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:27,892
Praise Jesus!
656
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:28,926
Now, dance, now!
657
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:32,196
("You Sexy Thing" intro plays)
658
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,098
CECE:
Whoa.
659
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:37,902
(cheering, whooping)
660
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,537
(man singing in Russian)
661
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,806
Dance! You dance now!
662
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,476
All of you, you dance!
663
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,780
I think I'm over Cece.
664
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:50,948
Who is that?
665
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,083
(meows)
666
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,085
(laughing)
667
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:55,386
♪ ♪
668
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:58,889
NADIA: I spank you,
dirty Nick bastard!
669
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:01,125
Shut up, monster!
670
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:02,793
You hear me?!
671
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:06,297
♪ ♪
(laughing, whooping)
672
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:07,632
Yeah!
673
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,535
Yeah!
674
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:16,440
This is the happiest
I've been in my entire life.
675
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,476
I mean, look at my feet.
Can't you see how happy I am?
676
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:19,644
Okay, you know
I still technically
677
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:20,978
have a boyfriend, right?
678
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,113
Oh, it's cool, I'm married.
679
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,214
What?
680
00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:24,749
Oh, don't worry,
it was a prank.
681
00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,183
What?!
682
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:27,818
Best man.
683
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,186
Maid of honor.
684
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,322
(needle buzzing)
685
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:32,957
Who gets first tattoo?
686
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,125
No, thank you.
687
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:35,960
I'll take a shamrock
on my knuckle.
688
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:38,963
(Nick screaming)
689
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,998
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH