1
00:00:00,336 --> 00:00:03,328
Okay, well, it's too
small to be a cat hotel

2
00:00:03,353 --> 00:00:05,312
and it's too big to be pants.

3
00:00:05,337 --> 00:00:06,164
So it's not mine.

4
00:00:06,189 --> 00:00:08,438
Me neither. I pick up all
my deliveries at the port.

5
00:00:08,463 --> 00:00:09,929
- The what? At the port?
- Yeah.

6
00:00:09,954 --> 00:00:10,804
What are you doing at the port?

7
00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,997
Picking up my deliveries. Listen.

8
00:00:14,530 --> 00:00:15,966
You drive all the way down to the port?

9
00:00:15,991 --> 00:00:18,426
- Yes.
- Well, it's not mine. I only buy local.

10
00:00:18,912 --> 00:00:21,714
Except, of course, for clothing
and produce. Medication,

11
00:00:21,748 --> 00:00:23,747
- water, seasoning, meat.
- Maybe it's Cece's.

12
00:00:23,772 --> 00:00:25,809
- Isn't she packing up her apartment?
- It's not Cece's.

13
00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:27,802
She's packing right now, and
Jess is going over there later

14
00:00:27,837 --> 00:00:31,005
to toast the place good-bye.
'Cause they're adorable.

15
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,941
- Would you consider us adorable?
- No,

16
00:00:32,975 --> 00:00:34,466
we're adult men.

17
00:00:34,865 --> 00:00:35,743
We're cute.

18
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,979
Oh, hey!

19
00:00:38,013 --> 00:00:39,981
My box is here.

20
00:00:40,015 --> 00:00:42,483
- Do you need help?
- Oh...

21
00:00:42,518 --> 00:00:44,953
Yeah, I was just gonna put
it... Put it down right there.

22
00:00:44,987 --> 00:00:46,550
- Awesome.
- Jess, is it me,

23
00:00:46,575 --> 00:00:49,404
or has your job become
a poo poo festival?

24
00:00:49,429 --> 00:00:53,127
No, it's fine. It's just the
new principal, Becky Cavatappi.

25
00:00:53,162 --> 00:00:56,331
She took over for Foster when
he retired. I do all her work

26
00:00:56,365 --> 00:00:59,067
and she does all the
working of her cleavage.

27
00:01:00,099 --> 00:01:01,903
But the budget's your job, Becky.

28
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:04,160
Ah... Principal Cavatappi.

29
00:01:04,185 --> 00:01:05,273
Like I always say:

30
00:01:05,307 --> 00:01:07,842
don't call me Becky unless
you're riding me like a horse.

31
00:01:09,211 --> 00:01:10,982
We work in a middle school.

32
00:01:12,075 --> 00:01:13,113
Really.

33
00:01:13,138 --> 00:01:16,751
This is the budget, or
the next week of my life.

34
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:19,254
You know what they say...

35
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:22,023
your life is just
weeks and then you die.

36
00:01:22,057 --> 00:01:23,193
Uh, Jess,

37
00:01:23,218 --> 00:01:24,626
- are you sure you're okay?
- Yeah.

38
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,628
I just got this for a
little stress relief.

39
00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:28,763
Oh, Schmidt,

40
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,565
will you be a dear and text Cece

41
00:01:30,599 --> 00:01:32,667
and tell her I'm gonna be
about, like, ten minutes late?

42
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:33,835
- Yeah, sure.
- Thanks.

43
00:01:33,869 --> 00:01:34,869
Aah!

44
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,773
Becky! Becky!

45
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,108
I hate you!

46
00:01:44,213 --> 00:01:46,214
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com

47
00:01:50,302 --> 00:01:51,052
Hi!

48
00:01:51,086 --> 00:01:53,655
- Hello.
- Look who I brought. The French.

49
00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:55,523
Bonjour. Oh, it's
Prosecco, it's Italian.

50
00:01:55,558 --> 00:01:57,621
So grazie.

51
00:01:57,646 --> 00:01:59,436
Oh, it's Polish Prosecco.

52
00:01:59,461 --> 00:02:02,330
So that's on me for
buying it at a gas station.

53
00:02:02,364 --> 00:02:03,865
Long week of work ahead of me.

54
00:02:03,899 --> 00:02:06,200
- I'm looking forward to a fun night!
- Okay, Jess, I should

55
00:02:06,235 --> 00:02:07,880
tell you before I...

56
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,972
I know I said I was done
packing, but I'm not done,

57
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,674
and the reason I'm not done is
because I didn't do anything,

58
00:02:12,708 --> 00:02:14,509
and I have to get out before tomorrow,

59
00:02:14,543 --> 00:02:15,810
otherwise I lose my deposit.

60
00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:16,811
Oh, Cece.

61
00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:18,713
- I know.
- Cece, Cece, Cece.

62
00:02:20,896 --> 00:02:24,252
Cece, Cece, Cece, Cece, Cece...

63
00:02:25,387 --> 00:02:27,155
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Winston.

64
00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:30,258
I did it. I told Aly
I need a new partner.

65
00:02:30,292 --> 00:02:32,527
- What? I thought you had a crush on her.
- Yeah.

66
00:02:32,561 --> 00:02:34,128
Well, exactly. You
know, here's the problem.

67
00:02:34,163 --> 00:02:36,302
She keeps talking about
her boyfriend and his

68
00:02:36,327 --> 00:02:38,700
"ass that you want
to open on Christmas."

69
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:39,701
- What?
- But it's fine.

70
00:02:39,735 --> 00:02:40,702
You know,

71
00:02:40,736 --> 00:02:41,736
she took it better than I thought.

72
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:43,204
Screw you.

73
00:02:43,943 --> 00:02:44,906
Here's your crap:

74
00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:47,075
lucky crystal, key chain fart marker,

75
00:02:47,109 --> 00:02:49,377
over a hundred yogurt tops,

76
00:02:49,411 --> 00:02:50,912
your flattened penny collection,

77
00:02:50,946 --> 00:02:53,715
a signed copy of a
Paul Reiser biography,

78
00:02:53,749 --> 00:02:55,582
baby carrot thumb drive,

79
00:02:55,607 --> 00:02:57,852
a picture of you and Dave Coulier,

80
00:02:57,887 --> 00:03:00,455
loose Pez, my mom's cell number,

81
00:03:00,489 --> 00:03:03,057
a ticket stub from Urinetown.

82
00:03:03,092 --> 00:03:04,759
When did you even see that?

83
00:03:06,595 --> 00:03:08,638
- Why? Why?
- Oh, have you...

84
00:03:08,662 --> 00:03:09,849
Have you tried 'em on?

85
00:03:10,802 --> 00:03:12,934
Oh, and your Pure Mood CD.

86
00:03:12,968 --> 00:03:16,504
This thing makes me want
to swim into a boat motor.

87
00:03:16,539 --> 00:03:18,497
Oh...

88
00:03:19,638 --> 00:03:20,909
new partner's here.

89
00:03:20,943 --> 00:03:24,279
Guys, as they say,
when one chapter ends,

90
00:03:24,313 --> 00:03:26,948
a bridge appears, and
then you cross that bridge

91
00:03:26,982 --> 00:03:29,732
and make lemonade out of a molehill.

92
00:03:30,029 --> 00:03:30,852
Okay.

93
00:03:30,886 --> 00:03:32,921
Hiya, partner.

94
00:03:32,955 --> 00:03:35,590
That's, uh, "hi" in karate. Hiya!

95
00:03:35,624 --> 00:03:37,392
That's cool.

96
00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:40,833
You don't mind if we listen
to some car jams, do you?

97
00:03:40,858 --> 00:03:43,231
Well, man, let's just
get right to track seven.

98
00:03:45,701 --> 00:03:46,768
Elation.

99
00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:53,408
Oh!

100
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,510
- I'm okay, it's fine, it's fine, yeah.
- You okay, you good?

101
00:03:55,544 --> 00:03:57,145
It's not gonna end well for these two.

102
00:03:57,179 --> 00:03:58,880
I wouldn't trust him
to watch a ball pit.

103
00:03:58,914 --> 00:04:01,130
Hey, could I get a cream soda?

104
00:04:01,155 --> 00:04:03,618
Dude, we both know what you're gonna do.

105
00:04:03,652 --> 00:04:05,353
Don't. It's not cool.

106
00:04:10,029 --> 00:04:11,826
What? We have a flasher.

107
00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:16,764
You know what, maybe if we
get drunk, then magically

108
00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:18,266
everything will just happen.

109
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:19,267
No, no.

110
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,702
No drinking until you've packed.

111
00:04:20,736 --> 00:04:21,936
Look, I get

112
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:23,638
that you're freaking out about moving,

113
00:04:23,672 --> 00:04:25,473
but we can do this. We need to make

114
00:04:25,508 --> 00:04:27,275
a keep pile and a toss pile, okay?

115
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:28,810
Keep or toss, keep or toss.

116
00:04:28,844 --> 00:04:31,279
Ugh.

117
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:34,849
Uh... Hi, Becky. Sorry,
Principal Cavatappi.

118
00:04:34,884 --> 00:04:36,751
Jess, remember that binder?

119
00:04:36,786 --> 00:04:38,453
Yeah. Yup, I've got it right here.

120
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:39,654
I'll have it done

121
00:04:39,688 --> 00:04:41,189
by the end of the week.

122
00:04:41,223 --> 00:04:43,591
Yeah, I mixed up the budget due date.

123
00:04:43,626 --> 00:04:44,859
I took my contacts out

124
00:04:44,894 --> 00:04:46,060
'cause they're ugly.

125
00:04:46,095 --> 00:04:47,829
So I kind of can't read stuff.

126
00:04:47,863 --> 00:04:49,310
I'll need it tomorrow.

127
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,300
Um... Uh, yeah,

128
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,175
uh, but it's a week's worth of work.

129
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,896
You get it done or you're fired.

130
00:04:57,404 --> 00:04:59,407
I have to do a week's
worth of work in a night.

131
00:05:00,543 --> 00:05:01,976
So we got to get through this quick.

132
00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:03,740
Keep or toss, keep or toss.

133
00:05:03,765 --> 00:05:05,890
Cece, that sweatshirt
has a wine stain on it

134
00:05:05,915 --> 00:05:07,849
and an off-brand Looney Tunes character.

135
00:05:07,883 --> 00:05:10,418
George Bunny? Who the hell is that?

136
00:05:10,452 --> 00:05:11,953
You're right. Keep.

137
00:05:11,987 --> 00:05:13,627
- Toss!
- No, keep, keep!

138
00:05:13,924 --> 00:05:17,086
I'm calling the cops. There is
a man pulling out his privates

139
00:05:17,111 --> 00:05:18,745
- in our bar.
- Oh, big whoop.

140
00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:20,914
It used to be worse. It
used to be more interactive.

141
00:05:20,949 --> 00:05:22,649
- What do mean, interactive?
- Interactive.

142
00:05:22,684 --> 00:05:24,651
- You showed, too?
- No, it was more like tennis,

143
00:05:24,686 --> 00:05:26,520
like...

144
00:05:27,197 --> 00:05:27,854
Exit.

145
00:05:27,889 --> 00:05:29,189
What's the second...

146
00:05:32,327 --> 00:05:33,927
Now it's just...

147
00:05:34,163 --> 00:05:35,118
And I'm...

148
00:05:36,155 --> 00:05:37,855
This is a problem. Wi-Winston.

149
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,914
New partner is working out great, man.

150
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,640
You know, we have a lot in common.

151
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:44,176
Both have cats, both partially blind...

152
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:45,677
me, color, him, night.

153
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:47,704
Well, that sounds dangerous.
Winston, listen to me.

154
00:05:47,729 --> 00:05:49,348
We have some very serious
police business here.

155
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,650
The bar has a flasher. A strange man

156
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,267
is regularly showing
Nick his funky soup bone.

157
00:05:54,299 --> 00:05:55,733
I'm sure he doesn't even care.

158
00:05:55,768 --> 00:05:59,003
I care about that greatly,
Nick. I will be right there.

159
00:06:00,134 --> 00:06:01,272
- Whoa, partner.
- Oh, oh,

160
00:06:01,306 --> 00:06:03,074
- oh, my goodness. Hey, didn't see...
- Seat's taken.

161
00:06:03,108 --> 00:06:06,010
- the seat was taken there, Winston, I...
- Yeah, I usually ride shotgun

162
00:06:06,045 --> 00:06:09,180
because I get motion
sickness as a decision-maker.

163
00:06:09,214 --> 00:06:10,982
Yeah, well, I lose all hand strength

164
00:06:11,016 --> 00:06:13,584
with absolutely no warning. Just...

165
00:06:14,653 --> 00:06:15,954
Damn it.

166
00:06:15,988 --> 00:06:18,956
Mm... I'm sorry, I'll be fast. Mm...

167
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:23,027
Mm...

168
00:06:23,062 --> 00:06:26,609
Mm...

169
00:06:26,634 --> 00:06:27,907
Time's up. It's a toss.

170
00:06:27,932 --> 00:06:29,432
No, that was actually an award.

171
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,165
- Toss. Next.
- Jessica...

172
00:06:32,922 --> 00:06:35,616
Now, okay, look, that hat
has a very important memory.

173
00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,176
Hey.

174
00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:40,540
I-I'm sorry I'm so bad at doggy-style.

175
00:06:41,103 --> 00:06:43,346
Do you really want to
remember Sir Miss-A-Lot?

176
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:45,681
This is all important
stuff from my single life.

177
00:06:45,716 --> 00:06:47,783
I think I need to go
through the pile again.

178
00:06:47,818 --> 00:06:50,052
You know what, you're right.
Let's go through everything again.

179
00:06:50,087 --> 00:06:51,587
Can you just come with me to the hallway

180
00:06:51,622 --> 00:06:53,589
and take a look at a
pile I made out there?

181
00:06:53,624 --> 00:06:54,829
Oh, yeah, okay.

182
00:06:55,142 --> 00:06:57,126
- I just really appreciate it.
- Mm-hmm.

183
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,794
I know you got a lot of work to do.

184
00:06:58,829 --> 00:06:59,862
Yeah, so it's...

185
00:07:01,665 --> 00:07:03,966
I have to finish packing
so I can work on the binder!

186
00:07:04,001 --> 00:07:06,535
You made me do this! I'm
shutting this tiny door!

187
00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:08,540
- Jessica, open the door!
- You're a terrible packer!

188
00:07:08,565 --> 00:07:10,239
Jessica, open the door!

189
00:07:10,274 --> 00:07:13,242
Your favorite team is the
Green Bay... Not Packers.

190
00:07:13,276 --> 00:07:14,644
Let me in, okay? Because, you know,

191
00:07:14,678 --> 00:07:15,978
if I'm out here too long,
I'm gonna run into...

192
00:07:16,013 --> 00:07:18,018
Hey, neighbor, you dig turtles?

193
00:07:18,915 --> 00:07:19,982
It's not a big deal.

194
00:07:20,017 --> 00:07:21,350
I've been flashed by, like,

195
00:07:21,385 --> 00:07:23,386
seven or eight different
people since college.

196
00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:24,854
- What?
- You guys have been flashed?

197
00:07:24,888 --> 00:07:25,788
- No.
- Never.

198
00:07:25,822 --> 00:07:27,256
Everybody's been flashed

199
00:07:27,291 --> 00:07:29,759
- countless times, right?
- No.

200
00:07:29,793 --> 00:07:33,162
Oh, it's just me who's been
flashed about 300 times?

201
00:07:33,196 --> 00:07:36,101
- What?
- You guys have never been flashed?

202
00:07:36,126 --> 00:07:37,562
- No.
- Never.

203
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,368
Not even on, like, holidays?

204
00:07:39,403 --> 00:07:40,369
No!

205
00:07:40,404 --> 00:07:41,737
Not even, like, after the Olympics?

206
00:07:42,204 --> 00:07:44,187
Hey, guys, I still
can't find the bathroom.

207
00:07:44,212 --> 00:07:45,308
Where did you guys say it was again?

208
00:07:45,342 --> 00:07:46,642
This place is like a maze.

209
00:07:46,677 --> 00:07:49,345
Dunston, it's... it's
one big room, buddy.

210
00:07:50,118 --> 00:07:51,881
Never mind. I don't have to go anymore.

211
00:07:51,915 --> 00:07:53,449
No, no, no, no, you're
fine, you're fine.

212
00:07:53,483 --> 00:07:55,651
You've had, like, two tubs
of soda. You-you need to go.

213
00:07:55,686 --> 00:07:56,752
Yeah, I do have to go.

214
00:07:56,787 --> 00:07:57,954
It's right back there to the left.

215
00:07:57,988 --> 00:07:59,021
- Okay.
- Yeah, right past

216
00:07:59,056 --> 00:07:59,956
the pop...

217
00:08:00,572 --> 00:08:02,291
Someone call about a flasher?

218
00:08:02,326 --> 00:08:03,759
Oh.

219
00:08:03,794 --> 00:08:04,860
Just responding

220
00:08:04,895 --> 00:08:06,028
to a call about a flasher.

221
00:08:06,063 --> 00:08:07,997
Oh, yes. Uh, there is no need.

222
00:08:08,031 --> 00:08:09,799
Dunston and I have got this, so...

223
00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:11,400
Oh, how is Dunston?

224
00:08:11,435 --> 00:08:14,604
- Huh? I hear he's blind and weird.
- No. No, he's great.

225
00:08:14,638 --> 00:08:17,523
- Ah.
- Dunston gets it done... ston.

226
00:08:17,548 --> 00:08:19,775
And that's how we win.. ston!

227
00:08:19,810 --> 00:08:20,943
Oh.

228
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:22,611
- How are you?
- Really good.

229
00:08:22,646 --> 00:08:24,687
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, Hutch is one hell of a cop.

230
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:25,581
I'm very strong.

231
00:08:25,616 --> 00:08:26,916
Punch my stomach. Try.

232
00:08:26,950 --> 00:08:28,150
- I mean, I will.
- It won't hurt.

233
00:08:28,185 --> 00:08:29,452
- Okay.
- It won't hurt.

234
00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:31,621
- God.
- Mm-hmm.

235
00:08:31,655 --> 00:08:32,788
That's amazing.

236
00:08:32,823 --> 00:08:34,223
- Dunston. Bathroom.
- Yeah?

237
00:08:34,257 --> 00:08:35,282
Oh, that's right.

238
00:08:35,626 --> 00:08:37,159
- Dunston?
- Ah.

239
00:08:37,806 --> 00:08:40,162
- Dunston?
- No, I know.

240
00:08:40,197 --> 00:08:41,964
You're in good hands.

241
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:43,966
- I hope you're happy, too.
- Great!

242
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,368
- Great!
- Great.

243
00:08:45,402 --> 00:08:46,469
Great!

244
00:08:48,126 --> 00:08:50,054
Somebody call the G8 Summit

245
00:08:50,079 --> 00:08:51,807
because I just felt the climate change.

246
00:08:51,842 --> 00:08:52,842
I don't get that.

247
00:08:52,876 --> 00:08:54,810
Hmm. Excuse me.

248
00:08:54,845 --> 00:08:56,812
You know where the bathroom is?

249
00:08:57,314 --> 00:08:58,993
- It's not back here.
- Right.

250
00:08:59,783 --> 00:09:01,751
If you throw out one more thing,

251
00:09:01,785 --> 00:09:04,406
I am gonna hurl my
body against the door!

252
00:09:04,431 --> 00:09:06,322
Okay, fine, I am gonna do it.

253
00:09:06,356 --> 00:09:08,276
I hope I don't hurt myself!

254
00:09:09,793 --> 00:09:12,471
Ow!

255
00:09:12,496 --> 00:09:13,930
You think I don't know those were hands?

256
00:09:13,964 --> 00:09:15,264
- That was a slap sound!
- Yeah.

257
00:09:15,299 --> 00:09:16,999
Okay, you're right,
it's a slapping sound,

258
00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:20,469
but I-I think I overdid it
and I really hurt my wrist.

259
00:09:20,504 --> 00:09:22,371
It's, like, swelling.

260
00:09:22,406 --> 00:09:24,407
I'm telling the truth,
okay? It really hurts.

261
00:09:24,441 --> 00:09:26,475
Just, can you please open the door?

262
00:09:26,510 --> 00:09:28,044
And now my wrists are fine!

263
00:09:28,078 --> 00:09:29,876
You snake! You rattlesnake!

264
00:09:32,416 --> 00:09:35,015
- Oh, my God, everything's gone.
- Look, Cece,

265
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,819
I know you're freaking out
about leaving the apartment,

266
00:09:36,853 --> 00:09:38,487
but if you think of it like...

267
00:09:38,522 --> 00:09:41,039
No. It's just, it's
not just the apartment.

268
00:09:41,064 --> 00:09:43,159
It's just... it's... it's all of it.

269
00:09:43,453 --> 00:09:45,054
Everything is changing!

270
00:09:45,079 --> 00:09:46,462
I'm not gonna have this place anymore,

271
00:09:46,496 --> 00:09:48,268
and I'm getting married.

272
00:09:51,486 --> 00:09:52,902
Oh, my God, Jess, I'm getting married.

273
00:09:52,936 --> 00:09:54,229
Are you having second thoughts?

274
00:09:54,252 --> 00:09:55,204
No, no. I... I know I want

275
00:09:55,229 --> 00:09:56,923
to marry Schmidt more
than anything in the world.

276
00:09:56,948 --> 00:09:57,931
It's just...

277
00:09:58,634 --> 00:10:01,453
everything is gonna
change, and I am scared.

278
00:10:01,478 --> 00:10:02,945
Oh, honey.

279
00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:05,581
Oh, my little breakfast link.

280
00:10:06,212 --> 00:10:07,783
Okay, now, look, we
don't have time for this.

281
00:10:07,818 --> 00:10:09,685
Okay, you have to work on your binder.

282
00:10:13,517 --> 00:10:14,890
Forget the binder.

283
00:10:14,925 --> 00:10:17,539
Right now this is more important.

284
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,665
- So you know what we're gonna do?
- What?

285
00:10:20,743 --> 00:10:22,015
We're gonna get

286
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,332
into it!

287
00:10:23,367 --> 00:10:26,329
- I'm gonna take my pants off!
- What? Why?

288
00:10:26,929 --> 00:10:28,663
- So, Nick, can you describe the suspect?
- Mr. Miller, can you describe the suspect?

289
00:10:29,249 --> 00:10:30,416
Uh, are you doing the interview, or...?

290
00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:31,584
Oh, yeah, I'm usually the interview guy.

291
00:10:31,618 --> 00:10:33,285
- Oh, that's okay.
- No, you can take it.

292
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,588
- I'll take it, dude, if it's not a big deal.
- Hey, well, it can be either...

293
00:10:35,622 --> 00:10:37,823
No, I'm used to it, too, but you're used
to it, so it's not a big deal for me.

294
00:10:37,858 --> 00:10:39,147
Well, I mean, I'm used to it,
but I'm open to new things.

295
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,559
Okay, yeah, but to the count of three.

296
00:10:40,594 --> 00:10:41,660
- Just-just-just please...
- We're just gonna do it.

297
00:10:41,695 --> 00:10:42,475
One, two, three.

298
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,929
- You do it.
- I can... I'm gonna go.

299
00:10:43,964 --> 00:10:47,396
He was average size,
thin, wispy blond hair.

300
00:10:47,421 --> 00:10:49,034
Oddly shaped, kind of came to a point.

301
00:10:49,069 --> 00:10:50,669
- Uh, what does that mean?
- Top heavy.

302
00:10:50,704 --> 00:10:53,305
A bit of a scar as if like
from a hook or something.

303
00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:55,708
Gross. Ugh. Uh, anything else?

304
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,176
I think that about does
it. You want me to describe

305
00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:58,377
what his face and body looked like?

306
00:10:58,411 --> 00:10:59,945
Yeah, that'd be... Wait.

307
00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:02,014
Have you been describing
his penis this whole time?

308
00:11:02,048 --> 00:11:03,014
All right, that's it. I'm done.

309
00:11:03,039 --> 00:11:04,517
I'm not even the one
that called you guys.

310
00:11:04,551 --> 00:11:05,702
Man!

311
00:11:05,726 --> 00:11:06,357
And to be fair,

312
00:11:06,382 --> 00:11:08,463
I knew he was talking about
a penis the whole time.

313
00:11:08,487 --> 00:11:09,357
See?

314
00:11:09,358 --> 00:11:10,802
That is way too real!

315
00:11:10,827 --> 00:11:12,324
Aggressively detailed.

316
00:11:12,359 --> 00:11:13,759
I had to guess on the testicles,

317
00:11:13,793 --> 00:11:15,027
'cause he hadn't described 'em.

318
00:11:17,898 --> 00:11:21,233
You know what it is? It's just
that there's no turning back.

319
00:11:21,268 --> 00:11:23,502
I mean, who am I when
I leave this apartment?

320
00:11:23,537 --> 00:11:25,335
"Mrs. Cece Schmidt?"

321
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:29,341
"Cece Schmidt" sounds like the
mayor of an evil Swiss town.

322
00:11:29,376 --> 00:11:31,212
It does.

323
00:11:31,237 --> 00:11:32,011
Oh, my God.

324
00:11:32,045 --> 00:11:33,445
Did I tell you that Schmidt thinks

325
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,314
that we should drop our last names

326
00:11:35,348 --> 00:11:36,749
and make up a new one?

327
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,651
He is currently, at the moment,

328
00:11:38,685 --> 00:11:41,921
leaning towards Zenith and Telluride.

329
00:11:41,955 --> 00:11:44,323
I don't hate Telluride.

330
00:11:44,357 --> 00:11:46,492
Getting married is just such a big leap.

331
00:11:46,526 --> 00:11:48,494
You leap big all the time!

332
00:11:48,528 --> 00:11:51,330
You moved here at 18 with
nothing but a bunch of chokers.

333
00:11:51,364 --> 00:11:53,098
Isn't it amazing?!

334
00:11:53,133 --> 00:11:54,433
And it's mine.

335
00:11:54,467 --> 00:11:57,169
Yeah, there's also a
knife stuck in the wall.

336
00:11:57,204 --> 00:11:58,018
Oh, look!

337
00:11:58,043 --> 00:11:59,135
Someone left a spoon

338
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,128
with some rock candy in it.

339
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,387
I wonder what flavor it is.

340
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,876
This is a way bigger leap.

341
00:12:03,910 --> 00:12:07,112
Ugh! Becky! You sloppy boob lizard!

342
00:12:07,147 --> 00:12:09,517
Principal Cavatappi!

343
00:12:09,542 --> 00:12:12,331
Oh, yeah, the binder.
Yup, I've got it right...

344
00:12:14,393 --> 00:12:15,321
...here.

345
00:12:15,355 --> 00:12:16,956
Where's the binder?

346
00:12:16,990 --> 00:12:18,424
Um, yeah, uh, sorry. Uh...

347
00:12:18,458 --> 00:12:20,192
Um, yeah, I've got it right here.

348
00:12:20,227 --> 00:12:21,894
Find it. Find it.

349
00:12:21,928 --> 00:12:23,295
You packed it somewhere?!

350
00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:25,865
- Yeah, I can turn to page 13. Hold on.
- Oh. Chuka.

351
00:12:25,899 --> 00:12:27,366
Chuka, chuka, chuka.

352
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,601
- Chuka.
- What is that?

353
00:12:28,635 --> 00:12:29,735
That was a page-turning noise.

354
00:12:29,769 --> 00:12:31,870
- Chuka, chuka...
- Um, yup, I see the graph.

355
00:12:31,905 --> 00:12:35,774
Chuk, chuka, chuk, chuk!

356
00:12:35,809 --> 00:12:37,309
Jess?

357
00:12:37,344 --> 00:12:38,877
Do you remember Rosarito?!

358
00:12:40,835 --> 00:12:43,303
We don't have much to go on,
but I'll run your description.

359
00:12:43,416 --> 00:12:44,628
Hopefully, Dunston wouldn't have

360
00:12:44,653 --> 00:12:46,952
spilled coffee all over the radio.

361
00:12:46,987 --> 00:12:51,257
You know, he brews his own and
drinks it out of a sandwich bag.

362
00:12:52,959 --> 00:12:53,826
Winston,

363
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,160
just call Aly and tell her

364
00:12:55,195 --> 00:12:56,729
that you want to be partners again.

365
00:12:56,763 --> 00:12:58,731
Ugh. Look, guys, I...

366
00:12:58,765 --> 00:13:00,533
I cannot.

367
00:13:00,567 --> 00:13:03,068
I just cannot hear about Aly's boyfriend

368
00:13:03,093 --> 00:13:06,376
and his ass that don't quit, okay?

369
00:13:06,401 --> 00:13:08,574
My ass don't quit! What about my ass?!

370
00:13:08,608 --> 00:13:11,198
- Winston, please call Aly.
- Seriously, dude.

371
00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:14,246
- There he is.
- Hey, do you have

372
00:13:14,281 --> 00:13:15,648
- any, uh...?
- Freeze, buddy!

373
00:13:15,682 --> 00:13:17,416
Oh, yeah, freeze!

374
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:18,917
Wait! Hey!

375
00:13:18,952 --> 00:13:20,185
- Oh.
- Hey, hey, hey! Hey!

376
00:13:21,521 --> 00:13:23,022
Yeah! Got him!

377
00:13:23,056 --> 00:13:25,124
All right! Dunston!

378
00:13:25,158 --> 00:13:27,092
- Oh, yes.
- Yeah, man. I'm not normally

379
00:13:27,127 --> 00:13:28,460
- the cuff guy, but I'll do it.
- Yeah, me, either.

380
00:13:28,495 --> 00:13:29,995
- But I'll do it.
- One size fits all, right?

381
00:13:30,030 --> 00:13:32,774
- Yeah, I guess it's...
- Man, I just said,

382
00:13:32,799 --> 00:13:34,500
- I'll be the cuff guy!
- I'm not normally the cuff...

383
00:13:34,534 --> 00:13:35,701
But, yeah, but if I'm
not normally the...

384
00:13:35,735 --> 00:13:37,770
Then if you're not...
but I'm not normally.

385
00:13:37,804 --> 00:13:39,104
- Now, I'm doing...
- Okay, okay, count of three. Count of three.

386
00:13:39,139 --> 00:13:40,412
- Who is the cuff guy? One.
- All right. One.

387
00:13:40,437 --> 00:13:41,918
Two, three, four.

388
00:13:41,943 --> 00:13:43,209
- Five, six. See?
- Five. Mm.

389
00:13:44,044 --> 00:13:45,377
- All right. Three.
- Three.

390
00:13:45,412 --> 00:13:46,545
Two, one,

391
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:48,347
- zero, negative one. Damn it!
- That...!

392
00:13:48,381 --> 00:13:50,149
Winston, Dunston! Dunston!

393
00:13:50,183 --> 00:13:50,983
Go! Hey!

394
00:13:55,396 --> 00:13:56,911
I got to say...

395
00:13:57,318 --> 00:13:59,568
he never comes in twice in a night.

396
00:13:59,701 --> 00:14:01,060
I just hope he's okay.

397
00:14:01,094 --> 00:14:03,963
I'm alarmed by how connected
to this man you feel.

398
00:14:03,988 --> 00:14:05,771
I just hope the best for him.

399
00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:09,957
I am so dead.

400
00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:11,236
If I don't find this binder, I'm gonna

401
00:14:11,271 --> 00:14:13,691
- need a really good excuse. Oh, wait, Cece?
- Mm.

402
00:14:13,716 --> 00:14:15,241
Can you break my arm just a little bit?

403
00:14:15,275 --> 00:14:17,505
- No!
- You're right. It's better if I do it myself.

404
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:18,744
Okay, you know what? Hey!

405
00:14:18,778 --> 00:14:21,213
Hey, can I just throw
something out there?

406
00:14:21,248 --> 00:14:22,748
What if you quit?

407
00:14:22,782 --> 00:14:24,049
I want to quit.

408
00:14:24,084 --> 00:14:26,519
God, do I want to quit,
but I can't! I can't!

409
00:14:26,553 --> 00:14:31,576
You can quit. Because this Becky
lady is making you miserable.

410
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,260
You were always someone
who loved their job.

411
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:37,196
♪ It's my first day
of teaching in L.A. ♪

412
00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:38,664
♪ And I'm giving my job ♪

413
00:14:38,698 --> 00:14:43,035
♪ A big fat "A..." ♪

414
00:14:44,833 --> 00:14:46,972
You remember the last
time I was unemployed?

415
00:14:46,997 --> 00:14:48,935
I ran out of things to knit.

416
00:14:49,107 --> 00:14:51,911
- I knit a condom.
- Oh, the yarn-dom.

417
00:14:51,945 --> 00:14:54,246
- I pray this was never used.
- Okay, remember earlier

418
00:14:54,281 --> 00:14:56,201
when you told me to leap?

419
00:14:56,419 --> 00:14:57,750
You should leap.

420
00:14:58,177 --> 00:14:59,363
I don't leap.

421
00:14:59,388 --> 00:15:02,421
I take small planned steps,
like an arthritic dog.

422
00:15:07,434 --> 00:15:08,734
Really?

423
00:15:09,929 --> 00:15:11,929
_

424
00:15:12,165 --> 00:15:14,816
The last listing is a loft downtown.

425
00:15:14,841 --> 00:15:16,012
Bad area.

426
00:15:16,037 --> 00:15:19,071
The ad just says it's
"sunsoaked and beige-y."

427
00:15:19,105 --> 00:15:21,951
I don't know. They seem
like three nice girls.

428
00:15:27,263 --> 00:15:30,015
And now I am marrying one of those girls

429
00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:31,951
and totally freaking out about it.

430
00:15:31,985 --> 00:15:33,252
You know who you need to talk to, right?

431
00:15:33,286 --> 00:15:35,721
- Yes. Definitely. Winston.
- No.

432
00:15:35,755 --> 00:15:37,056
- What the hell?
- What?

433
00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:38,724
I'm gone for two months,
and all of a sudden

434
00:15:38,758 --> 00:15:41,168
Winston's a bridesmaid? Never mind.

435
00:15:41,193 --> 00:15:42,561
- You need to call Schmidt.
- No.

436
00:15:42,595 --> 00:15:45,197
No, I can't call him and
tell him that I'm scared.

437
00:15:45,231 --> 00:15:48,567
I think that that's
what getting married is.

438
00:15:49,703 --> 00:15:51,497
Sharing all this,

439
00:15:52,005 --> 00:15:53,439
all the things you're afraid of,

440
00:15:53,473 --> 00:15:55,808
all the things that embarrass you,

441
00:15:55,842 --> 00:15:57,747
weak doggy-style guy.

442
00:16:01,091 --> 00:16:02,181
You got to call Schmidt.

443
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:04,763
All right.

444
00:16:05,685 --> 00:16:08,285
A voice call, Jess?

445
00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:10,956
Let me guess, a family of
ducks is crossing the street.

446
00:16:10,991 --> 00:16:13,676
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's me. It's me. Um, so...

447
00:16:13,701 --> 00:16:14,693
okay, um,

448
00:16:14,728 --> 00:16:17,696
I love you but I am freaking
out about getting married.

449
00:16:17,731 --> 00:16:19,531
Cece, what? What's-what's
going on? What's happening?

450
00:16:19,566 --> 00:16:22,201
Well, I just... I don't... I don't...

451
00:16:22,235 --> 00:16:23,535
Oh, no. Um,

452
00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:25,170
Jess, it's Becky. It's Becky.

453
00:16:25,205 --> 00:16:26,805
What-what-what do you want me to do?

454
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,641
- What do I do? What do I do?
- Don't answer it. Don't answer it.

455
00:16:28,675 --> 00:16:31,676
What? Who's Becky? What's
a Becky? What's happening?

456
00:16:33,547 --> 00:16:34,647
Don't answer it.

457
00:16:35,271 --> 00:16:36,682
Do not answer it.

458
00:16:36,716 --> 00:16:37,883
I'm gonna answer it.

459
00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:38,617
What?

460
00:16:38,652 --> 00:16:40,619
Hello! Hi. Uh, yeah,

461
00:16:40,654 --> 00:16:42,788
so, this is Cece Parikh, and
you are treating my friend

462
00:16:42,822 --> 00:16:44,523
very badly.

463
00:16:44,557 --> 00:16:46,225
What? Put Jess on.

464
00:16:46,259 --> 00:16:49,762
No, no, no, no. You are
done using my friend, okay?

465
00:16:49,796 --> 00:16:51,964
So she... quits.

466
00:16:51,998 --> 00:16:52,631
I what?

467
00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:53,732
She what?

468
00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:54,633
- I what?
- That's right!

469
00:16:54,668 --> 00:16:57,138
Jess quits!

470
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,060
Nailed it!

471
00:17:07,919 --> 00:17:10,193
Oh, my God, the binder.
It's under the couch.

472
00:17:14,755 --> 00:17:16,155
No, no, no. We handled it.

473
00:17:16,190 --> 00:17:17,035
It's our perp.

474
00:17:17,060 --> 00:17:19,028
Aly, I want you back. I...

475
00:17:19,574 --> 00:17:20,894
- I-I want you back.
- Are you trying

476
00:17:20,928 --> 00:17:23,496
to tell me something or
doing a Jackson 5 song?

477
00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:25,031
I miss having you as my partner.

478
00:17:25,065 --> 00:17:28,254
Do you want to tell me why you left?

479
00:17:29,285 --> 00:17:31,659
'Cause you never did.
And, honestly, Winston,

480
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:32,906
that really sucked.

481
00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:34,407
I left because you hurt my feelings

482
00:17:34,441 --> 00:17:36,403
when you kept talking about...

483
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,762
You kept talking about...

484
00:17:43,984 --> 00:17:46,853
...how much you hate my music. You know?

485
00:17:46,887 --> 00:17:49,022
This is about your Pure Moods CD?

486
00:17:49,056 --> 00:17:51,424
That's it. That's all. It's
the only reason why I left.

487
00:17:51,949 --> 00:17:54,360
Okay. I mean, that thing
makes me wish I was born

488
00:17:54,395 --> 00:17:56,620
without the ability to hear music,

489
00:17:56,645 --> 00:17:59,184
but if it means that much to you,

490
00:17:59,504 --> 00:18:00,965
I'll listen to it.

491
00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:04,713
I-I-I appreciate that.

492
00:18:04,738 --> 00:18:06,539
Look, you're the only partner I want.

493
00:18:07,004 --> 00:18:08,408
You make me...

494
00:18:09,426 --> 00:18:11,184
laugh and whatever.

495
00:18:11,209 --> 00:18:13,213
I don't know. I suck at compliments.

496
00:18:13,247 --> 00:18:13,913
Yeah.

497
00:18:14,629 --> 00:18:15,801
Partners?

498
00:18:17,153 --> 00:18:18,451
Partners.

499
00:18:18,801 --> 00:18:20,620
Shake it. Don't just hold it.

500
00:18:20,654 --> 00:18:22,222
Yeah. Sorry.

501
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:24,988
I think that was Dunston.

502
00:18:25,013 --> 00:18:27,760
- How did he not see us?
- No idea.

503
00:18:27,785 --> 00:18:29,395
Oh, yeah, he's night-blind.

504
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:31,731
Dunston!

505
00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:35,268
It's done. Everything you asked for.

506
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:37,620
And, Principal Cavatappi, I'm very sorry

507
00:18:37,645 --> 00:18:38,805
for what my friend said. I...

508
00:18:38,839 --> 00:18:40,799
Oh, I know. I would
never let you quit anyway.

509
00:18:40,824 --> 00:18:42,075
Can you come up with some thoughts on

510
00:18:42,109 --> 00:18:45,129
the science curriculum for the
superintendant and sign my name?

511
00:18:46,754 --> 00:18:47,596
Yeah.

512
00:18:47,621 --> 00:18:49,035
Sure. Yes.

513
00:18:52,019 --> 00:18:53,486
You know what? No!

514
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,221
I can't. No.

515
00:18:55,246 --> 00:18:57,528
Nope. Um, because I quit.

516
00:18:58,492 --> 00:19:01,253
I hope you have a minor career setback,

517
00:19:01,278 --> 00:19:03,432
learn from it, relocate,

518
00:19:03,457 --> 00:19:08,293
and ultimately have a
very nice life, Becky.

519
00:19:15,315 --> 00:19:16,770
_

520
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:21,524
_

521
00:19:22,942 --> 00:19:23,927
Mmm.

522
00:19:27,512 --> 00:19:28,721
Do I want to know this story?

523
00:19:28,756 --> 00:19:30,838
I hope so,

524
00:19:30,863 --> 00:19:34,246
because we're about to spend
the rest of our lives together.

525
00:19:34,512 --> 00:19:36,162
So you're gonna have
to hear all my stories.

526
00:19:36,196 --> 00:19:38,798
I want to spend the rest of my
life hearing all your stories.

527
00:19:38,832 --> 00:19:40,500
Until, of course, my hearing goes out

528
00:19:40,534 --> 00:19:43,570
and I get tinnitus. Do you know
Dave Letterman has tinnitus?

529
00:19:43,604 --> 00:19:45,025
Um...

530
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,930
About-about what I said on the phone...

531
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,543
I'm a little freaked out, too.

532
00:19:51,221 --> 00:19:52,813
- You are?
- Yes.

533
00:19:52,838 --> 00:19:55,014
And it has nothing to do
with how much I love you.

534
00:19:55,049 --> 00:19:56,025
Exactly.

535
00:19:56,050 --> 00:19:58,218
Or how much I want to get married.

536
00:19:59,189 --> 00:20:00,172
Exactly.

537
00:20:00,197 --> 00:20:01,588
We'll be scared together.

538
00:20:01,622 --> 00:20:05,258
And we'll be really happy together, too.

539
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,327
And we'll be really annoyed together,

540
00:20:07,361 --> 00:20:09,729
knowing that we're living with
three other people and a cat.

541
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:11,264
Also, I think there's another cat.

542
00:20:11,298 --> 00:20:13,333
Winston's being very
evasive about it, but...

543
00:20:13,367 --> 00:20:14,283
Mmm.

544
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:22,342
It's a foster cat.

545
00:20:22,376 --> 00:20:24,410
I think it's helping him
get over the whole Aly thing.

546
00:20:24,445 --> 00:20:25,411
I don't care.

547
00:20:25,446 --> 00:20:26,479
Well, I guess this is it.

548
00:20:26,513 --> 00:20:28,648
I thought Jess would be here, but...

549
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:31,985
- you know, okay, end of an era.
- Yeah.

550
00:20:32,019 --> 00:20:33,519
Have you ever been here before?

551
00:20:33,554 --> 00:20:36,119
This is maybe my second time.

552
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,282
I nursed my pippy back to health here.

553
00:20:39,307 --> 00:20:41,361
Yeah. I remember.

554
00:20:41,395 --> 00:20:43,363
All right. I'm gonna give you a minute.

555
00:20:43,713 --> 00:20:44,705
Okay.

556
00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:55,963
Cece, Cece, Cece.

557
00:20:58,768 --> 00:21:00,393
Do you want to do the
honors or should I?

558
00:21:00,418 --> 00:21:03,189
Hmm... Go for it.

559
00:21:07,454 --> 00:21:09,297
Okay. One, two, three.

560
00:21:09,322 --> 00:21:11,086
We did it!

561
00:21:11,111 --> 00:21:12,422
Oh, my God, there's hair on the end!

562
00:21:12,447 --> 00:21:14,060
Put it back! Put it back!

563
00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:20,275
_

564
00:21:21,252 --> 00:21:24,530
_

565
00:21:28,509 --> 00:21:29,977
Do you speak Russian?

566
00:21:30,002 --> 00:21:31,210
Nope.

567
00:21:31,245 --> 00:21:33,245
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