1 00:00:00,086 --> 00:00:04,007 Welcome to the ceremonial lighting of the first burner. 2 00:00:04,141 --> 00:00:05,940 Come on, Susan! 3 00:00:05,976 --> 00:00:07,226 There it is! 4 00:00:07,251 --> 00:00:08,367 - Aah! - Thanksgiving! 5 00:00:08,392 --> 00:00:11,445 - It is 7:00 A.M. - I've actually been up for two hours. 6 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,314 Let's do this! Perfect Thanksgiving! 7 00:00:13,350 --> 00:00:14,983 Reagan's coming today, and I want everything 8 00:00:15,018 --> 00:00:17,218 to be great for the guest of honor. 9 00:00:17,254 --> 00:00:18,887 Oh, the... the guest of honor? 10 00:00:18,922 --> 00:00:19,954 Yeah, the guest of honor. 11 00:00:19,990 --> 00:00:21,856 I guess my dad spending Thanksgiving with me 12 00:00:21,892 --> 00:00:23,491 for the first time ever is a non-event. 13 00:00:23,527 --> 00:00:25,726 Ooh. Is he bringing his new squoosh? 14 00:00:25,751 --> 00:00:27,320 - Hmm? - Is that a thing people say? 15 00:00:27,334 --> 00:00:28,334 - No. - Uh-uh. 16 00:00:28,359 --> 00:00:31,299 Well, his squoosh has a name, and it's Ann Kim. 17 00:00:31,334 --> 00:00:33,797 She's probably gonna want to spend some time with you ladies, too, 18 00:00:33,822 --> 00:00:36,437 because you know how fathers and sons can be on Thanksgiving. 19 00:00:36,492 --> 00:00:38,709 Drinking beer, watching the game, 20 00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:41,297 hugging each other in a way that suggests, 21 00:00:41,322 --> 00:00:42,896 "I forgive you for every... for everything." 22 00:00:42,921 --> 00:00:44,145 Okay, look, I know you're excited, but maybe 23 00:00:44,181 --> 00:00:46,326 don't put so much pressure on it, you know? 24 00:00:46,351 --> 00:00:48,082 I mean, we all... we all know who your dad is. 25 00:00:48,151 --> 00:00:50,185 Who he was. Who he was, though. 26 00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:51,352 Just don't expect too much. 27 00:00:51,388 --> 00:00:52,842 Just be happy that he's coming at all. 28 00:00:52,867 --> 00:00:54,722 - So what time's Robby coming? - He's not coming. 29 00:00:54,758 --> 00:00:57,568 - He is going to visit his folks. - What's your guys' deal now? 30 00:00:57,593 --> 00:00:58,787 Are you actually together, 31 00:00:58,812 --> 00:01:00,261 or are you just nursing him back to health 32 00:01:00,297 --> 00:01:02,163 'cause you broke his entire body and face? 33 00:01:02,199 --> 00:01:05,500 We are not together, but I don't think Robby understands that. 34 00:01:05,535 --> 00:01:06,734 I wonder why, Jess. 35 00:01:06,770 --> 00:01:08,742 You only hang out with him 24/7. 36 00:01:08,767 --> 00:01:11,834 ♪ Come on, baby, make it hurt so... ♪ 37 00:01:13,243 --> 00:01:16,110 I feel mean telling him we're not dating when he's in this state. 38 00:01:16,146 --> 00:01:19,803 It is a lot meaner to lead him on, okay? 39 00:01:19,828 --> 00:01:22,250 - You got to drop the hammer. - I know. You're right. 40 00:01:22,275 --> 00:01:25,053 I'll do it next time I see him. I'm just dreading it. 41 00:01:25,078 --> 00:01:26,428 He's such a good egg. 42 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,717 I mean, with his dad khakis 43 00:01:28,742 --> 00:01:31,025 and his glasses and his... his... 44 00:01:31,061 --> 00:01:33,632 his sweet little change purse. 45 00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:36,130 You know what? That's it. He's too nice. 46 00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:37,656 There's just no oomph. 47 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,968 Yeah. It's non-negotiable. You got to have the oomph. 48 00:01:40,003 --> 00:01:42,992 Yeah, oomph was all Cece and I had when we started oomphing. 49 00:01:43,017 --> 00:01:44,373 Oh, "oomph" is sex. 50 00:01:44,398 --> 00:01:46,318 Why say that stupid word? Just say "sex." 51 00:01:46,343 --> 00:01:48,232 Oh, because it's more than that, Nick. 52 00:01:48,257 --> 00:01:49,878 It's fire. It's passion. 53 00:01:49,905 --> 00:01:50,960 It's ha-cha-cha-cha-cha 54 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:52,099 - cha-cha-cha-cha-cha. - Mm. 55 00:01:52,131 --> 00:01:54,350 And there's no ha-cha-cha with Robby. He's too nice. 56 00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:57,490 Well, look, Jess, do what you got to, but I love that guy. 57 00:01:57,515 --> 00:01:58,975 Robby was there for me 58 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,289 when I got hurt in the line of duty. 59 00:02:02,681 --> 00:02:05,960 Winston, you sprained your ankle running for a bagel. 60 00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:08,303 - Yeah. I was at work, though. - Running for a bagel. 61 00:02:08,331 --> 00:02:10,570 Look, Robby's the only one who understands my pain. 62 00:02:10,595 --> 00:02:13,396 Well, nothing makes me happier than cooking for ten hours 63 00:02:13,421 --> 00:02:16,209 and eating in under 25 minutes. Chant me in. 64 00:02:16,234 --> 00:02:17,805 Stuff that bird! 65 00:02:17,841 --> 00:02:20,975 Stuff that bird! Stuff that bird! 66 00:02:21,011 --> 00:02:23,311 Guess who's too injured to fly? 67 00:02:23,346 --> 00:02:24,779 Is it you? 68 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,312 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 69 00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:30,742 Don't get me wrong. I mean, I feel... 70 00:02:30,767 --> 00:02:33,568 I feel like I'm holding the long end of the wishbone right now, but, 71 00:02:33,593 --> 00:02:35,790 um, why wouldn't they let you on the plane? 72 00:02:35,825 --> 00:02:37,358 There was a fit issue. 73 00:02:37,394 --> 00:02:39,609 I'm sorry. All right. I'm so sorry. 74 00:02:39,634 --> 00:02:41,195 - Oh! Oh! Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. - Whoa. Whoa. 75 00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:43,310 - Aah! No, no, no, it's fine. - Oh! Oh! 76 00:02:43,335 --> 00:02:46,492 Well, at least you had the fun of going to the airport on Thanksgiving. 77 00:02:46,517 --> 00:02:49,270 And I get to hang out with you. 78 00:02:49,773 --> 00:02:51,940 Yay! And boo! 79 00:02:51,975 --> 00:02:55,609 Because I already have plans with a 15-pound cutie. 80 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:56,904 I'm talking about the turkey. 81 00:02:56,929 --> 00:02:59,420 Listen, I'm gonna plant you in front of the parade, 82 00:02:59,448 --> 00:03:02,039 and you're gonna yell out what balloons go by! 83 00:03:02,064 --> 00:03:03,048 Okay. Okay. 84 00:03:03,073 --> 00:03:04,118 The start of the parade just... 85 00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:08,358 With the speed?! He like Mayweather with the knife! 86 00:03:08,383 --> 00:03:09,484 Okay, what is going on? 87 00:03:09,509 --> 00:03:11,398 Because you don't even use a knife to eat a steak? 88 00:03:11,430 --> 00:03:13,863 Well, my girl is coming. Of course my hands are dancing. 89 00:03:13,899 --> 00:03:17,053 These knives are a part of me like that, uh, scissor hand guy. 90 00:03:17,078 --> 00:03:19,068 What is his name again? Is it Rick Snip? 91 00:03:19,093 --> 00:03:21,571 - Did you drop the hammer? - I have not dropped the hammer. 92 00:03:21,606 --> 00:03:23,173 Snoopy! Saw Snoopy. 93 00:03:23,208 --> 00:03:25,141 Okay, no. You-you got to end this. 94 00:03:25,177 --> 00:03:28,060 False alarm. It's just John Stamos on a Greek yogurt float. 95 00:03:28,085 --> 00:03:29,365 Drop the hammer now? 96 00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:32,082 He can't even tell the difference between John Stamos and Snoopy. 97 00:03:32,117 --> 00:03:34,240 You can't break a man's heart on a holiday. 98 00:03:34,265 --> 00:03:36,451 I'm telling you, it happened to me once, and that pain... 99 00:03:36,476 --> 00:03:38,693 it comes back year after year after year. 100 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,490 You don't want to do that to him, I'm telling you. 101 00:03:40,515 --> 00:03:41,912 That's why I'm always a hot mess 102 00:03:41,937 --> 00:03:43,126 on take-your-daughter-to-work day. 103 00:03:43,161 --> 00:03:45,462 Uh-oh. It's the senior citizens choir. 104 00:03:45,497 --> 00:03:46,596 Get the tissues! 105 00:03:46,631 --> 00:03:47,697 Look, I'll tell you what, Jess. 106 00:03:47,732 --> 00:03:49,299 I'll keep him busy for the day. 107 00:03:49,351 --> 00:03:51,679 - You can destroy him tomorrow. - Thank you, Winston. 108 00:03:51,704 --> 00:03:53,736 You know what? Next take-your-daughter-to-work-day 109 00:03:53,772 --> 00:03:56,546 is gonna be take-Winston-out- for-spaghetti day. 110 00:03:56,835 --> 00:03:58,541 I would enjoy that. 111 00:03:58,577 --> 00:04:00,343 I would enjoy that for real. 112 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,646 Ooh, it's my daddy! 113 00:04:03,682 --> 00:04:05,448 It's my daddy! 114 00:04:05,849 --> 00:04:07,482 Gobble, gobble. 115 00:04:07,507 --> 00:04:09,853 Happy Thanksgiving, son. 116 00:04:09,888 --> 00:04:11,955 I hope you're ready, 'cause I have a full day planned for us. 117 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,890 First up is a game of American football 118 00:04:13,925 --> 00:04:15,592 featuring the Cowboys of Dallas. 119 00:04:17,696 --> 00:04:19,863 I'm sorry. 120 00:04:20,328 --> 00:04:22,342 It's our first Thanksgiving together. 121 00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:24,357 Look, I've been crying all morning, too. 122 00:04:24,382 --> 00:04:26,539 It's... this is a good thing. 123 00:04:26,703 --> 00:04:28,682 Ann Kim broke up with me. 124 00:04:28,707 --> 00:04:29,906 Oh, no. 125 00:04:29,941 --> 00:04:31,474 Excuse me. 126 00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:32,675 Da... 127 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:33,710 Gavin! 128 00:04:33,745 --> 00:04:34,843 Happy Thanksgiving. 129 00:04:34,868 --> 00:04:37,680 - Hey, Gavin. - It just got a whole lot happier. 130 00:04:38,442 --> 00:04:40,075 Excuse me. 131 00:04:41,634 --> 00:04:43,267 Daddy? 132 00:04:43,789 --> 00:04:46,492 You remember when you tongue-kissed that guy? 133 00:04:46,562 --> 00:04:50,397 Now this marching band has traveled 1,500 miles... 134 00:04:50,422 --> 00:04:52,288 What you taking? Little boy blues? 135 00:04:52,324 --> 00:04:53,923 Yeah, I've been there. 136 00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,258 How many miggies you working with? 137 00:04:55,293 --> 00:04:57,160 Yeah, my pharmacist bumped me up to nine. 138 00:04:57,195 --> 00:05:00,697 1,400. Yeah. I have to take 18 pills an hour 139 00:05:00,722 --> 00:05:03,514 in a very specific order, and they virtually assured me 140 00:05:03,539 --> 00:05:05,195 that I will be addicted to them. 141 00:05:05,452 --> 00:05:07,996 - Hey. - Hey. 142 00:05:08,039 --> 00:05:09,572 Hey, what happened to Rick Snip? 143 00:05:09,608 --> 00:05:12,576 Uh, gone and, uh... 144 00:05:12,601 --> 00:05:14,490 these tears... honestly, they're from the onions. 145 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,271 They're not from Reagan bailing. 146 00:05:16,296 --> 00:05:18,158 Oh, no. Reagan's not coming? 147 00:05:18,183 --> 00:05:21,185 No. She just called. Uh, her boss sent her to Omaha, 148 00:05:21,210 --> 00:05:23,023 so she can't make it, but it's fine. 149 00:05:23,164 --> 00:05:25,154 Oh, I'm sorry, Nick. 150 00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:28,304 I also wear a slow-release opium patch on my spine. 151 00:05:29,444 --> 00:05:31,733 Hey, I ever told you the story of how I got injured in the first place? 152 00:05:31,758 --> 00:05:34,185 - Yes. - One may think that it started 153 00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:36,935 because of a lack of bagels, but no. 154 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,101 It started with a surplus... 155 00:05:39,126 --> 00:05:40,637 - of cream cheese. - Of cream cheese. 156 00:05:40,672 --> 00:05:42,805 Yes, yes, you're familiar with such happening. 157 00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:44,203 You know what? I think Jess told me to help her... 158 00:05:44,228 --> 00:05:45,443 No, no, no, no. You're good. 159 00:05:45,468 --> 00:05:47,343 Uh, lock you up. 160 00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:48,845 I'm sure she's bummed, too. 161 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,481 - How long is she gonna be there? - No idea. I didn't ask. 162 00:05:51,516 --> 00:05:53,624 I just said, "Happy Thanksgiving." 163 00:06:02,227 --> 00:06:03,559 And then I hung up. 164 00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:05,228 Okay, you're gonna have to leave the kitchen. 165 00:06:05,263 --> 00:06:07,482 The whole sad-guy, whiskey-flame combination 166 00:06:07,507 --> 00:06:08,695 is starting to worry me. 167 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,544 Let me know when my whiskey boils down to a crystal so I can eat it. 168 00:06:14,072 --> 00:06:16,339 Hey, Dad, are you okay in there? 169 00:06:16,374 --> 00:06:17,674 Did you fall in? 170 00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:19,208 That's a dad joke that I would've assumed 171 00:06:19,244 --> 00:06:21,310 I would have heard you make had you been around more. 172 00:06:21,346 --> 00:06:23,513 I want you to know I'm not using the bathroom. 173 00:06:23,548 --> 00:06:24,964 I'm just sitting here. 174 00:06:24,989 --> 00:06:27,784 Hey, Dad, you know what's a great cure for heartache? 175 00:06:27,819 --> 00:06:29,878 A little father-and-son time. 176 00:06:29,903 --> 00:06:33,222 You know, we could have a catch, whittle a stick. 177 00:06:33,258 --> 00:06:35,888 Why don't you just come out? 178 00:06:36,286 --> 00:06:38,716 I'm sorry, son. You're right. 179 00:06:38,794 --> 00:06:40,029 Today is about family. 180 00:06:40,065 --> 00:06:41,197 - Yeah. - Yeah. Exactly. 181 00:06:41,232 --> 00:06:43,341 There's my favorite whiskey glass. 182 00:06:43,552 --> 00:06:47,403 - Aah. Who wants to get wasted? - Me. So badly. 183 00:06:48,098 --> 00:06:49,405 Ugh. I'm so sorry, babe. 184 00:06:49,441 --> 00:06:51,040 Yeah. No. I'm-I'm fine. 185 00:06:51,076 --> 00:06:54,444 Look, we don't wear sweaters and roll around in the leaves, 186 00:06:54,479 --> 00:06:56,145 but there are other ways for us to bond. 187 00:06:56,181 --> 00:06:59,115 If he wants to drink, then, you know what? I'm gonna drink. 188 00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:01,617 I'm gonna get sloppy with my poppy. 189 00:07:01,653 --> 00:07:04,589 Nick. Papa! Wait for me. 190 00:07:04,621 --> 00:07:06,152 Just need to get my bitters kit. 191 00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:07,542 Ooh, actually, can you just make sure 192 00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:08,791 that there's a garbage can next to the bed? 193 00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:11,536 Because... I can't hang. 194 00:07:14,165 --> 00:07:15,598 Robby! 195 00:07:15,633 --> 00:07:17,734 What are you doing here with me and not with Winston? 196 00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:21,058 I like Winston, but he's been telling this bagel story for ten minutes. 197 00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:22,605 I haven't even met all the main characters yet. 198 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,533 Plus, I have a little surprise for you. 199 00:07:24,558 --> 00:07:25,775 To make up for this morning, 200 00:07:25,810 --> 00:07:28,798 the airline gave me two free tickets 201 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,713 to anywhere in the contiguous 48 states. 202 00:07:30,749 --> 00:07:32,248 Oh. Ha. 203 00:07:32,283 --> 00:07:34,478 Well, I'd love to, you know, plan our future, 204 00:07:34,503 --> 00:07:36,376 but we're eating in under four hours, 205 00:07:36,401 --> 00:07:37,712 and so I have to put you to work. 206 00:07:37,737 --> 00:07:39,837 Okay, you just, crouton. 207 00:07:39,862 --> 00:07:41,196 - Oh. - All right. Keep croutonning. 208 00:07:41,221 --> 00:07:43,822 Okay, I'm not that close to the table. 209 00:07:45,163 --> 00:07:46,815 Darn it. 210 00:07:46,878 --> 00:07:48,337 - I was just in the bathroom - ROBBY: Nothing but net. 211 00:07:48,362 --> 00:07:50,466 with my husband and his father. 212 00:07:50,502 --> 00:07:51,987 Are you also having a good Thanksgiving? 213 00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:53,870 Hey, Jess. Check this out. 214 00:07:54,831 --> 00:07:55,900 Did that go in? 215 00:07:55,925 --> 00:07:57,790 - Robby got plane tickets, - Swish. 216 00:07:57,815 --> 00:07:59,517 - and he wants to whisk my away, - Nothing but bowl. 217 00:07:59,542 --> 00:08:02,784 once he gets better, which could be months from now. 218 00:08:02,809 --> 00:08:05,013 Jess, I'm looking up some hotels right now. 219 00:08:05,038 --> 00:08:06,479 Twin bed's okay, right? 220 00:08:06,851 --> 00:08:08,526 Hammer time? 221 00:08:08,787 --> 00:08:10,720 Hammer time. 222 00:08:13,358 --> 00:08:15,822 - Cheers. - Yes, sir. 223 00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:18,408 Ah. This is the dream. 224 00:08:18,627 --> 00:08:22,026 A boy, his dad, his best friend sharing a drink. 225 00:08:22,214 --> 00:08:24,010 Don't tell Mom, right? 226 00:08:24,035 --> 00:08:25,501 I'm just kidding. 227 00:08:25,537 --> 00:08:27,369 I know you and Mom haven't spoken in 30 years, 228 00:08:27,394 --> 00:08:29,019 including my wedding. 229 00:08:29,058 --> 00:08:30,462 You know what's stupid? 230 00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:32,041 There's a part of me that actually thought 231 00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:34,076 I might have a wedding with Ann Kim someday. 232 00:08:34,112 --> 00:08:35,878 I don't think that's stupid at all, Dad. 233 00:08:35,914 --> 00:08:37,547 I think that's beautiful. 234 00:08:37,582 --> 00:08:39,923 You know, you opened up your heart to Ann Kim 235 00:08:39,948 --> 00:08:41,283 and that's brave. 236 00:08:41,308 --> 00:08:42,589 Maybe she was just scared. 237 00:08:42,614 --> 00:08:43,953 You know women. They're a mystery. 238 00:08:43,988 --> 00:08:45,564 Yeah, sometimes they just go to Omaha 239 00:08:45,589 --> 00:08:46,845 and you don't know when they're gonna come back. 240 00:08:46,870 --> 00:08:47,957 Or if they're coming back. 241 00:08:47,992 --> 00:08:49,511 How do you even know she's in Omaha? 242 00:08:49,536 --> 00:08:51,594 Oh, because, uh, she said she was. 243 00:08:54,065 --> 00:08:56,432 - Nothing means anything. - Nothing means anything. 244 00:08:56,474 --> 00:08:58,448 Nothing... means anything. 245 00:08:58,473 --> 00:08:59,524 At least you're young, Nick. 246 00:08:59,549 --> 00:09:02,038 You got a rocking bod with kickass buns. 247 00:09:02,073 --> 00:09:03,306 You're not gonna have any problems. 248 00:09:03,341 --> 00:09:05,908 Who's gonna want an old guy like me? 249 00:09:07,065 --> 00:09:08,657 I've got garbage buns. 250 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,791 What? Are you out of your mind? Dad, you've got fantastic buns. 251 00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:11,901 - You think? - I'm telling you, 252 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,000 you've got nothing to worry about. 253 00:09:13,025 --> 00:09:15,150 Nick, stand up, put your buns next to each other, so... here. 254 00:09:15,175 --> 00:09:16,185 What is happening here? 255 00:09:16,221 --> 00:09:17,869 I'm not doing anybody any favors today. 256 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,008 I'm a bummer. 257 00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:21,307 Probably the best thing I could do would be to head home. 258 00:09:21,332 --> 00:09:22,516 See you later, man, nice to see you again. 259 00:09:22,541 --> 00:09:24,182 Dad, stay. Look... 260 00:09:24,207 --> 00:09:25,862 you're gonna land on your feet. 261 00:09:25,897 --> 00:09:29,852 I've see... I've seen all kinds of women throw themselves at you. 262 00:09:29,877 --> 00:09:32,835 Lifeguards and teachers, lens crafters. 263 00:09:32,871 --> 00:09:34,563 Remember when you had your tongue in Jess' mouth? 264 00:09:34,588 --> 00:09:37,473 She tasted like licorice... sweet but with a bite. 265 00:09:37,508 --> 00:09:38,941 Not... you're not helping, Nick. 266 00:09:38,977 --> 00:09:40,409 Actually, you know what? Can I see you in the hallway, please? 267 00:09:40,445 --> 00:09:41,844 Why? 268 00:09:47,886 --> 00:09:50,574 Nick, we have got to go to Ann Kim's house 269 00:09:50,599 --> 00:09:52,339 and convince her to give my dad a second chance. 270 00:09:52,364 --> 00:09:54,964 - It's the only way he's gonna stay. - She's not gonna come. She's a snake. 271 00:09:54,989 --> 00:09:56,058 All women are snakes. 272 00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:57,493 I understand that you're spinning out about Reagan. 273 00:09:57,528 --> 00:09:59,595 I'm spinning out about Reagan. 274 00:09:59,631 --> 00:10:01,397 I get it. But you have to help me 275 00:10:01,432 --> 00:10:03,266 save my Thanksgiving with my dad. 276 00:10:03,301 --> 00:10:04,867 You're right. I'm so sorry. 277 00:10:04,903 --> 00:10:06,135 We can pull this off. 278 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,004 If we get her to take him back... 279 00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:09,739 - ... We'd be heroes. - That's right. 280 00:10:11,202 --> 00:10:14,144 Look at that, Mom, I'm gonna be a hero. 281 00:10:14,169 --> 00:10:16,245 Why are you looking up? Your mother is still alive. 282 00:10:16,281 --> 00:10:17,280 I'm looking at Chicago. 283 00:10:17,315 --> 00:10:18,714 You think Chicago is up? 284 00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:20,383 It's north. 285 00:10:20,418 --> 00:10:22,585 Robby, you're a great guy, 286 00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:25,747 but nothing is ever gonna happen between us. 287 00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:27,753 However, someday you're gonna open 288 00:10:27,778 --> 00:10:29,525 a really wonderful bed and breakfast. 289 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,949 - That was pretty good. - I mean, right? 290 00:10:30,974 --> 00:10:33,675 Can you imagine the wine and cheese hour he would put on? 291 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,060 Stuff the toga with hot coals. 292 00:10:35,085 --> 00:10:36,269 - We're going out. - What? Wait. 293 00:10:36,294 --> 00:10:39,035 Have a place setting at the table for Ann Kim, 294 00:10:39,070 --> 00:10:41,410 but don't seat her next to my dad. 295 00:10:41,435 --> 00:10:42,972 I want all the couples split up. 296 00:10:43,007 --> 00:10:44,607 Everybody gets to talk that way, but, uh... 297 00:10:44,642 --> 00:10:46,242 - and then put me next to Nick. - Yeah. 298 00:10:46,268 --> 00:10:47,668 And then my dad next to me as well. 299 00:10:47,712 --> 00:10:49,612 So I'm sandwiched between Nick and my dad. 300 00:10:49,647 --> 00:10:51,122 You guys can't leave. We need you here. 301 00:10:51,147 --> 00:10:52,548 Well, I need a happy daddy. 302 00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:54,050 He needs a happy daddy. 303 00:10:54,085 --> 00:10:55,785 If they never come back, the last words I'll have heard 304 00:10:55,811 --> 00:10:58,996 my husband say are "happy daddy." 305 00:10:59,045 --> 00:11:01,112 Okay, good luck. 306 00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:06,772 Oh, smells great. 307 00:11:06,910 --> 00:11:08,798 That's just my famous gravy. 308 00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:11,627 The trick is, um, a pinch of brown sugar 309 00:11:11,652 --> 00:11:13,602 and then a couple more handfuls of brown sugar. 310 00:11:13,638 --> 00:11:15,638 Actually, uh, just a lot of brown sugar. 311 00:11:15,673 --> 00:11:18,441 Ann Kim loves gravy. 312 00:11:18,676 --> 00:11:21,183 Big dogs, small horses, 313 00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:23,847 the smell of rain, and gasoline. 314 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,494 Oh, Gavin. 315 00:11:27,519 --> 00:11:29,082 You're a handsome 316 00:11:29,107 --> 00:11:30,953 and passionate 317 00:11:30,989 --> 00:11:33,113 and charismatic man. 318 00:11:33,191 --> 00:11:34,857 You and me. 319 00:11:35,286 --> 00:11:36,853 We really had something. 320 00:11:36,878 --> 00:11:38,294 What do you say we give it another shot? 321 00:11:38,329 --> 00:11:41,597 Let's just drive and drive and drive. 322 00:11:41,632 --> 00:11:44,613 I know what I'm not thankful for this year. 323 00:11:45,066 --> 00:11:46,469 This. This is it. 324 00:11:46,504 --> 00:11:48,893 - Robby, this is not what it looks... - Don't say anything. 325 00:11:48,918 --> 00:11:49,939 I-I don't even know where to begin, 326 00:11:49,974 --> 00:11:51,107 so I'll just start by saying 327 00:11:51,142 --> 00:11:53,371 that is smells delicious in here. 328 00:11:53,511 --> 00:11:54,777 I'm gonna leave. 329 00:11:56,414 --> 00:11:57,949 Just... 330 00:12:00,651 --> 00:12:02,113 hold on a second. 331 00:12:08,321 --> 00:12:10,781 Hey, Ann Kim, show your face. 332 00:12:10,806 --> 00:12:12,679 You cold-hearted zombie. 333 00:12:12,704 --> 00:12:15,116 - Who's down there? - It's Gavin's son. 334 00:12:15,141 --> 00:12:17,415 I don't know if you remember this, but we went on a double date once. 335 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,819 My wife got terribly ill from some truffle oil. 336 00:12:19,844 --> 00:12:21,247 Rich foods don't agree with her. 337 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,421 Did Gavin send you? 338 00:12:22,455 --> 00:12:24,140 No, no, no. He doesn't even know that I'm here. 339 00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:26,586 Look, Ann Kim, he's heartbroken. 340 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,788 You opened up something inside of him, 341 00:12:28,824 --> 00:12:31,108 and you turned him into the man 342 00:12:31,133 --> 00:12:33,397 that I always knew that he could be. 343 00:12:33,483 --> 00:12:35,413 And darn it, I'm just a kid... 344 00:12:36,776 --> 00:12:38,969 hoping for a Thanksgiving miracle. 345 00:12:39,001 --> 00:12:42,594 Why don't you give him a second chance and come back with us, 346 00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:44,985 and let's all give thanks together. 347 00:12:46,047 --> 00:12:47,207 Great speech. 348 00:12:47,242 --> 00:12:48,985 Yeah, it really was a great speech, man. 349 00:12:49,009 --> 00:12:50,280 Thanks. 350 00:12:50,305 --> 00:12:52,704 Did you do it with the five other women he's dating? 351 00:12:52,729 --> 00:12:53,790 What? 352 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,494 That's why he always refers to me 353 00:12:55,519 --> 00:12:57,553 by my first and last name, 354 00:12:57,578 --> 00:12:59,594 because he's dating two Anns. 355 00:13:00,555 --> 00:13:02,616 This is worse than my Reagan thing. 356 00:13:02,641 --> 00:13:04,530 I can't believe that I spent all day 357 00:13:04,555 --> 00:13:07,234 feeling sorry for that son of a bitch. 358 00:13:07,262 --> 00:13:09,362 I guess I'm the son of a bitch. 359 00:13:09,398 --> 00:13:10,964 Leave or I'm hitting the sprinklers. 360 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:14,055 Ann Kim, please, give me a minute to process this. 361 00:13:14,618 --> 00:13:16,036 - Sprinklers! - That was not a minute! 362 00:13:16,071 --> 00:13:17,470 - Sprinklers! - That was not a minute! 363 00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:18,772 No! 364 00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:22,976 Hello, Jessica. 365 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:26,379 If you're here to hurt Robby, then you're here to hurt me. 366 00:13:26,415 --> 00:13:27,881 And if you hurt me, 367 00:13:27,949 --> 00:13:29,582 then I'm gonna hurt Robby. 368 00:13:29,618 --> 00:13:31,335 Wait a minute. No. If you're here... 369 00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:33,835 If you don't get out of your room, 370 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:36,329 I'm gonna bleach all your bird shirts. 371 00:13:36,805 --> 00:13:39,092 - Robby, I got to go. - That's a wise choice. 372 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:45,432 Robby, I need you to know that there is... 373 00:13:45,467 --> 00:13:49,509 nothing going on between me and Gavin, 374 00:13:49,534 --> 00:13:52,549 except for an icy awkwardness that will continue 375 00:13:52,574 --> 00:13:54,816 until one or both of us is dead. 376 00:13:54,855 --> 00:13:57,550 Oh, thank God. 377 00:13:57,581 --> 00:14:01,066 I mean, I was sitting here thinking, really? Schmidt's dad. 378 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,832 I know. That'd be crazy, right? 379 00:14:02,857 --> 00:14:03,931 Although I totally get it. 380 00:14:03,956 --> 00:14:06,088 I mean... he's got that rakish charm. 381 00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:07,830 And that voice. Oh, my God. 382 00:14:07,865 --> 00:14:10,691 - Great buns and... - Robby, stop. There's more. 383 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,826 Oh, boy. 384 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,977 I think I know where this is going. 385 00:14:15,297 --> 00:14:16,596 Let me guess. 386 00:14:16,964 --> 00:14:19,632 You see me as more of a friend. 387 00:14:19,668 --> 00:14:23,136 Well, I didn't want to talk about it on Thanksgiving. 388 00:14:23,394 --> 00:14:25,449 But you brought the tickets and... 389 00:14:25,474 --> 00:14:27,107 Jess, it's okay. I get it. 390 00:14:27,196 --> 00:14:29,120 You know, there has to be that, um... 391 00:14:29,292 --> 00:14:31,603 - Oomph? - Yeah. I was gonna say "yowza," 392 00:14:31,628 --> 00:14:35,215 but, uh, oomph. You can't force the oomph, you know? 393 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:38,777 I'll take my mom to Phoenix. She's nuts about Phoenix. 394 00:14:42,784 --> 00:14:44,400 Well, congrats, Dad! 395 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,127 Holiday's over! You ruined another Thanksgiving! 396 00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:49,838 I can't believe that you're seeing six women. 397 00:14:49,863 --> 00:14:51,464 - What's going on? - How do you run a vineyard? 398 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,299 Not well. I'm seeing six women. 399 00:14:53,335 --> 00:14:54,759 He tried to make it seven. 400 00:14:54,784 --> 00:14:56,002 I caught him making a move on Jess. 401 00:14:56,037 --> 00:14:58,771 Again? Why is my father so sexual? 402 00:14:58,807 --> 00:15:00,840 - Why is he asking Chicago? - Good question. 403 00:15:00,876 --> 00:15:02,502 You know what, Gavin, if this is who you really are, 404 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,072 then you can forget about Thanksgiving 405 00:15:04,097 --> 00:15:06,205 and all the holidays and all the non-holidays. 406 00:15:06,230 --> 00:15:07,647 Pretty much what I'm talking about is every day. 407 00:15:07,682 --> 00:15:10,839 Hey, hey, hey, guys, let's remember the reason for the season. 408 00:15:10,864 --> 00:15:11,884 We're all very thankful. 409 00:15:11,909 --> 00:15:13,322 Jess, I am so sorry. 410 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,074 I had no idea you two were together. 411 00:15:15,118 --> 00:15:16,933 I thought you were his physical therapist. 412 00:15:17,136 --> 00:15:18,291 Physical therapist? 413 00:15:18,316 --> 00:15:19,726 Aren't you a physical therapist or something? 414 00:15:19,761 --> 00:15:23,909 You think she's a... Jess is a top-notch vice principal. 415 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,058 Oh, Robby... 416 00:15:28,370 --> 00:15:30,353 Robby, no. Don't stand. 417 00:15:30,378 --> 00:15:31,706 Your-your knee. 418 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,275 I don't give a flying care about that. 419 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,963 I stand up when I stand up for people. 420 00:15:35,988 --> 00:15:37,306 I think you're getting roid rage. 421 00:15:37,331 --> 00:15:38,424 I didn't take any steroids today, 422 00:15:38,449 --> 00:15:40,424 because the TSA took 'em this morning. 423 00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:43,872 Now, what you're seeing is pure, unfiltered Robby, 424 00:15:43,897 --> 00:15:45,550 straight from the tap. 425 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,026 Get him, Robby. 426 00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:48,267 You-you tried to make Jess 427 00:15:48,292 --> 00:15:49,697 the seventh woman you're dating, 428 00:15:49,722 --> 00:15:51,384 and you don't even know the first thing about her. 429 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,174 I mean, did-did you know that when she was six 430 00:15:53,199 --> 00:15:54,440 she tried to eat a lightning bug 431 00:15:54,465 --> 00:15:56,720 so that her heart would glow like E.T.? 432 00:15:56,745 --> 00:15:59,416 Did you know that she tried to give herself Lyme disease 433 00:15:59,441 --> 00:16:02,002 out of solidarity to her fourth grade classmate? 434 00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:05,641 Or-or that she never lets any of her electronics go below 25%, 435 00:16:05,676 --> 00:16:08,417 just in case someone else needs to use them? 436 00:16:08,442 --> 00:16:09,986 I mean, did you know... 437 00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:13,745 did you know that she's terrified of the large bubbles in the bubble wrap 438 00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:15,580 but she loves the little tiny ones? 439 00:16:15,605 --> 00:16:17,252 It's so cute, man. 440 00:16:17,279 --> 00:16:20,456 It would be one thing if you actually had feelings for Jess... 441 00:16:20,769 --> 00:16:21,783 - I'm... I'm... - Oh! 442 00:16:21,808 --> 00:16:23,225 - Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Oh. 443 00:16:23,628 --> 00:16:25,561 Thank you. But you don't. 444 00:16:25,596 --> 00:16:27,675 Y-you're just desperate and lonely 445 00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:29,308 and you're trying to use her, and I... 446 00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:30,666 - Oh, it's happening again. - Oh. 447 00:16:30,701 --> 00:16:32,601 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Oh, oh. 448 00:16:32,636 --> 00:16:33,691 Thank you. 449 00:16:34,223 --> 00:16:35,616 You can't use Jess, 450 00:16:35,641 --> 00:16:37,607 because she is a dream girl. 451 00:16:39,810 --> 00:16:42,544 Here's the last thing I'll say before I leave. 452 00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:45,113 Jess, I know it's not me, but... 453 00:16:47,394 --> 00:16:50,886 you deserve somebody who knows how special you are. 454 00:16:52,581 --> 00:16:54,156 Um, I'm going. I'm going. 455 00:16:54,191 --> 00:16:55,269 Don't go, Robby. 456 00:16:55,302 --> 00:16:56,714 I'm not going out. I'm-I'm going down! 457 00:16:58,896 --> 00:17:00,996 - Robby, no! - Turkey! Turkey's down! 458 00:17:01,031 --> 00:17:02,283 - Robby! Robby! - Turkey's down! 459 00:17:02,308 --> 00:17:03,620 Oh, God! 460 00:17:03,645 --> 00:17:04,666 Relax! 461 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:05,745 - Just... - Okay. It still looks good! 462 00:17:05,770 --> 00:17:06,910 The turkey still looks good. 463 00:17:08,175 --> 00:17:10,222 - Wait, what are you... - It is hot! My skin! 464 00:17:10,247 --> 00:17:11,870 - It's burning my skin! - The hell you doing?! 465 00:17:11,895 --> 00:17:13,081 It was hot! It was hot! 466 00:17:13,106 --> 00:17:14,943 Now I got to eat a dirty turkey! What's wrong with you? 467 00:17:14,979 --> 00:17:16,167 This is all my fault. 468 00:17:16,192 --> 00:17:17,439 - You know I throw hot things! - I'm so sorry. 469 00:17:17,464 --> 00:17:19,011 - It was fine! - Turkey's expensive! 470 00:17:19,036 --> 00:17:20,284 - Any more? - This isn't on me! 471 00:17:20,309 --> 00:17:21,717 Furguson don't eat turkey from the ground! 472 00:17:21,752 --> 00:17:23,720 Oh, no. I'm not taking the fall for this one. 473 00:17:23,745 --> 00:17:25,187 - It's all on you! - I'm not taking the... 474 00:17:25,222 --> 00:17:28,644 Hey! Can we not yell at each other on Thanksgiving?! 475 00:17:29,870 --> 00:17:31,960 I recognize that I, too, am yelling. 476 00:17:31,996 --> 00:17:34,189 And I'm-I'm sorry, Robby. 477 00:17:34,214 --> 00:17:35,564 Wait. 478 00:17:39,584 --> 00:17:41,484 Great, he's gone. 479 00:17:42,206 --> 00:17:44,373 I was just starting to feel it. 480 00:17:44,408 --> 00:17:45,909 - Go. - Yeah, Jess, go. 481 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,367 - Go. - Go! 482 00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:50,089 - Go after him. - Save us some floor turkey. 483 00:17:53,763 --> 00:17:55,379 Hey. 484 00:17:56,098 --> 00:17:59,023 Look, I know you had high hopes for Thanksgiving with your dad. 485 00:17:59,058 --> 00:18:00,291 You called it. 486 00:18:00,326 --> 00:18:01,926 The guy is who he is. 487 00:18:01,961 --> 00:18:03,661 You know, maybe you just need to drop this idea 488 00:18:03,696 --> 00:18:05,950 that he'll ever be the bigger man. 489 00:18:06,864 --> 00:18:08,607 I think that needs to be you, babe. 490 00:18:08,632 --> 00:18:10,559 You're the bigger man. 491 00:18:14,004 --> 00:18:17,541 Son, I know you're probably tired of hearing both these statements 492 00:18:17,577 --> 00:18:19,877 and not likely to believe either, but... 493 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,741 I'm leaving and I'm sorry. 494 00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,806 Dad, I said... I said a lot of things earlier. 495 00:18:32,716 --> 00:18:35,623 I don't want you out of my life. 496 00:18:37,196 --> 00:18:39,581 I was waiting for you to be someone who you're not, 497 00:18:39,606 --> 00:18:40,942 but... 498 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,536 I know who you are and I still love you. 499 00:18:45,137 --> 00:18:47,271 But you-you need to listen to me, 500 00:18:47,306 --> 00:18:49,974 son to father, get a therapist. 501 00:18:50,009 --> 00:18:52,489 - Oh, I have a therapist. - A better one. 502 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:53,615 Okay. 503 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:57,051 And I shouldn't have to say this but one that you're not sleeping with. 504 00:18:59,934 --> 00:19:01,340 Okay. 505 00:19:01,365 --> 00:19:04,989 Wait! Robby! Robby, don't go. 506 00:19:05,024 --> 00:19:07,981 I tried to Irish good-bye, but, uh, I'm moving a little slow. 507 00:19:08,006 --> 00:19:10,761 When you were in there and you were saying all those things, 508 00:19:10,796 --> 00:19:12,963 I realize I don't even really know you. 509 00:19:12,999 --> 00:19:14,965 And I want to get to know you. 510 00:19:15,001 --> 00:19:18,122 Jess, it's okay. I-I don't want you to force something that's not there. 511 00:19:18,229 --> 00:19:20,096 I felt it. 512 00:19:23,009 --> 00:19:24,174 You felt the oomph? 513 00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,010 Yes. I... 514 00:19:26,045 --> 00:19:28,345 I'm sorry I'm being so confusing. 515 00:19:28,381 --> 00:19:30,147 I-I think I'm as bad at Thanksgiving 516 00:19:30,182 --> 00:19:32,349 as I am at starting new relationships. 517 00:19:32,385 --> 00:19:34,285 - Yeah, you're pretty bad. - Robby, 518 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,629 will you go on another date with me? 519 00:19:39,392 --> 00:19:42,626 ♪ Come on, baby, make it hurt so good. ♪ 520 00:19:45,031 --> 00:19:47,031 Hell yeah, I'll go on another date with you. 521 00:19:47,066 --> 00:19:48,208 Hmm. 522 00:19:49,794 --> 00:19:52,058 I did already tell my mom about Phoenix though. 523 00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:54,129 - I hope that's okay. - Oh, of course. 524 00:19:54,154 --> 00:19:58,123 I apologize in advance for the state of our main course. 525 00:20:02,448 --> 00:20:05,049 Dad, would you like to do the honors? 526 00:20:05,084 --> 00:20:07,384 I think the man of the house traditionally does that. 527 00:20:08,621 --> 00:20:09,669 Aw. 528 00:20:11,661 --> 00:20:13,464 I'm the m... I'm the man of the house. 529 00:20:13,489 --> 00:20:14,604 Would you look at that? 530 00:20:14,629 --> 00:20:16,128 Oh, it's Reagan. 531 00:20:16,153 --> 00:20:18,581 Oh, whoa. You know, I've always wanted to do this. 532 00:20:18,606 --> 00:20:20,175 Uh, read out loud. 533 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,366 In Omaha. Heart emoji. 534 00:20:22,401 --> 00:20:24,435 Smiling pile of poo emoji. 535 00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:28,205 I want my tongue emoji on your monkey emoji. 536 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,207 Eh, come on, that's a little private. S-Sorry about that. 537 00:20:30,242 --> 00:20:31,575 She wants to tongue your monkey? 538 00:20:31,610 --> 00:20:32,676 What's your monkey? 539 00:20:32,712 --> 00:20:33,777 Smiling pile of poo? 540 00:20:33,813 --> 00:20:35,089 Oh, my God, 541 00:20:35,114 --> 00:20:37,247 Schmidt and Cece will be in a new home next year. 542 00:20:37,272 --> 00:20:38,562 Next year it's at our place. 543 00:20:38,587 --> 00:20:41,323 Happy last loft Thanksgiving, everyone. 544 00:20:43,622 --> 00:20:45,198 They weren't always perfect, 545 00:20:45,223 --> 00:20:46,690 but they were memorable. 546 00:20:46,726 --> 00:20:47,989 - Cheers. - Cheers. 547 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,198 - Hey. - Hey. 548 00:20:49,223 --> 00:20:51,075 Mmm. Remember when you fell down that hole? 549 00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:53,597 Oh, and Schmidt cooked the meal in our dead neighbor's kitchen. 550 00:20:53,632 --> 00:20:55,699 - Ms. Beverly. - Mmm! 551 00:20:55,735 --> 00:20:57,267 Remember when we had sex with strangers? 552 00:20:57,303 --> 00:20:59,481 That's a misrepresentation of what happened. 553 00:20:59,506 --> 00:21:01,872 Remember when your parents made it in the bathroom? 554 00:21:01,973 --> 00:21:04,875 Or last Thanksgiving, when we all accidentally took peyote 555 00:21:04,910 --> 00:21:07,185 and, Winston, you wouldn't let us break the wishbone. 556 00:21:07,210 --> 00:21:09,787 - Break the bone, lose the wish. - That's not true! 557 00:21:09,812 --> 00:21:11,749 - That's not how it works. - That is not how it works. 558 00:21:11,784 --> 00:21:12,951 Here's to Thanksgiving, everybody.