1
00:00:02,051 --> 00:00:03,484
This month marks Nick and my
2
00:00:03,552 --> 00:00:05,519
ten year anniversary
of living together.
3
00:00:05,620 --> 00:00:07,521
Our "tin" anniversary.
4
00:00:07,539 --> 00:00:08,772
Ten years?
You guys are like
5
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,107
- Bert and Ernie.
- I got dibs on Bert.
6
00:00:10,175 --> 00:00:11,475
- Dibs on Ernie.
- Nice.
7
00:00:11,543 --> 00:00:12,643
- Cool, man. All right.
- Yeah, man.
8
00:00:12,710 --> 00:00:14,312
Now, obviously,
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00:00:14,379 --> 00:00:15,212
we're going to have
an anniversary party.
10
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,680
You guys are invited.
11
00:00:16,748 --> 00:00:18,082
I'm not sure if
I'm coming to that, man.
12
00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:19,616
Remember the "wood" anniversary?
13
00:00:19,684 --> 00:00:20,683
(Screams)
Ah!
14
00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:21,751
You cut me!
15
00:00:21,819 --> 00:00:22,919
Well, happy
anniversary!
16
00:00:22,987 --> 00:00:23,947
I gotta get
a tourniquet.
17
00:00:23,955 --> 00:00:25,036
Hold some more wood for me.
18
00:00:26,089 --> 00:00:27,123
Yeah!
19
00:00:27,191 --> 00:00:28,491
Well, it wasn't
as bad as paper.
20
00:00:31,227 --> 00:00:33,063
Happy anniversary!
(Screaming)
21
00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:34,164
Paper!
22
00:00:34,231 --> 00:00:35,731
(Shrieking)
Party time, man.
23
00:00:35,799 --> 00:00:37,099
Did you know that
24
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:40,336
the chemical symbol
for tin is SN?
25
00:00:40,403 --> 00:00:42,371
- Schmidt and Nick.
- What?
26
00:00:42,439 --> 00:00:44,340
Is no one else's mind blown
by this?
27
00:00:44,407 --> 00:00:46,041
That's it,
our theme is TinFinity.
28
00:00:46,109 --> 00:00:48,777
TinFinity. That's actually
really good, Schmidt.
29
00:00:48,845 --> 00:00:51,213
- Yeah, it is.
- I really don't think two men who
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00:00:51,281 --> 00:00:52,580
live together for
ten years need a party.
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00:00:52,647 --> 00:00:54,815
Why must you always
be like this?
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00:00:54,883 --> 00:00:56,451
Because you never let me
participate in the planning.
33
00:00:56,518 --> 00:00:58,686
I would love for you
to participate.
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00:00:58,753 --> 00:01:01,222
Gah! That was a trick.
I was trying to get out of it.
35
00:01:01,290 --> 00:01:06,861
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
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00:01:01,290 --> 00:01:03,691
♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ Who's that girl? ♪
37
00:01:03,758 --> 00:01:05,393
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
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00:01:05,461 --> 00:01:06,861
♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ It's Jess. ♪
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00:01:08,696 --> 00:01:09,662
They're celebrating
40
00:01:09,730 --> 00:01:11,564
ten years of
living together?
41
00:01:11,632 --> 00:01:12,866
Why are we friends with
these guys, Jess?
42
00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:13,766
- I...
- What happened?
43
00:01:13,834 --> 00:01:15,402
It's so weird to think
44
00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:17,604
that Nick is the last person
I kissed.
45
00:01:18,171 --> 00:01:19,239
Actually, Schmidt's
46
00:01:19,307 --> 00:01:20,747
- the last person I kissed.
- Okay, what?
47
00:01:20,774 --> 00:01:22,709
It was nothing.
Nick was watching.
48
00:01:22,776 --> 00:01:24,676
What is happening
in this loft?
49
00:01:24,744 --> 00:01:26,545
Ooh, girls chatting.
50
00:01:26,613 --> 00:01:28,214
Hey, Nick.
51
00:01:28,281 --> 00:01:29,581
(Whispers): I wish I knew what
was going on
52
00:01:29,649 --> 00:01:30,616
inside Nick's head.
53
00:01:30,683 --> 00:01:33,152
He's this, like,
grumpy mystery.
54
00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:34,520
Jess, are these
open for anybody?
55
00:01:34,587 --> 00:01:35,954
- Yep.
- Right on, thank you.
56
00:01:36,023 --> 00:01:37,656
He can't communicate
a feeling to save his life.
57
00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:39,591
But why can't I
stop thinking
58
00:01:39,659 --> 00:01:41,993
about his mouth on my mouth?
59
00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:43,228
Hey, Jess,
60
00:01:43,295 --> 00:01:44,662
do I have frosting on my lips?
61
00:01:46,698 --> 00:01:48,900
Look at my mouth--
do I have frosting on it?
62
00:01:48,967 --> 00:01:50,601
Wh-Why are you asking me this?
63
00:01:50,669 --> 00:01:51,702
My mouth feels moist and weird.
64
00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:53,104
Do I have anything on it?
65
00:01:53,172 --> 00:01:55,706
Get out of here!
Ugh! Aw...
66
00:01:55,774 --> 00:01:57,374
Okay, you know what?
67
00:01:57,442 --> 00:01:59,176
You need what I needed.
You need
68
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,544
a new guy, all right?
69
00:02:00,611 --> 00:02:02,112
Dating Shivrang helped me
70
00:02:02,180 --> 00:02:03,447
get past all
the weird stuff with Schmidt.
71
00:02:03,515 --> 00:02:04,714
I need the Anti-Nick.
72
00:02:04,782 --> 00:02:05,416
- Yeah.
- I need
73
00:02:05,483 --> 00:02:06,550
a real man, who can
74
00:02:06,617 --> 00:02:07,651
express his feelings,
and I need
75
00:02:07,718 --> 00:02:10,120
a different mouth
on my mouth.
76
00:02:10,188 --> 00:02:11,755
To erase that mouth.
77
00:02:11,822 --> 00:02:12,755
MAN:
No, you actually
78
00:02:12,822 --> 00:02:14,323
don't need to
wash raw denim.
79
00:02:14,391 --> 00:02:15,724
Haven't washed my
pants in 18 months.
80
00:02:15,792 --> 00:02:16,692
(Laughs)
81
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,695
Also, I'm bisexual.
82
00:02:19,763 --> 00:02:21,697
Microchips be
gettin' small.
83
00:02:21,765 --> 00:02:23,566
They be, like,
blueberry size.
84
00:02:23,633 --> 00:02:25,634
So you could put 'em
in your cereal, girl.
85
00:02:25,702 --> 00:02:27,670
I don't get your thing.
86
00:02:28,737 --> 00:02:29,571
It's prescription.
87
00:02:31,273 --> 00:02:32,107
Damn it.
88
00:02:32,425 --> 00:02:34,426
What happened to the
guys in this bar?
89
00:02:34,493 --> 00:02:36,093
They open up a bus
station next door?
90
00:02:36,161 --> 00:02:37,228
Where are
the real men?
91
00:02:37,296 --> 00:02:38,863
I can't talk right now.
92
00:02:38,931 --> 00:02:40,931
I'm writing a strongly-worded
e-mail to my florist.
93
00:02:43,135 --> 00:02:44,435
Guys, guys,
guys, guys, guys,
94
00:02:44,502 --> 00:02:45,969
guys, guys, look at the door,
don't look at the door,
95
00:02:46,037 --> 00:02:47,304
look right now, don't look,
one at a time,
96
00:02:47,372 --> 00:02:49,773
look, but don't look.
Guys, one at a time.
97
00:02:49,841 --> 00:02:51,007
Don't look now.
98
00:02:51,075 --> 00:02:52,876
Look. No, you're
both looking.
99
00:02:52,944 --> 00:02:53,944
- I don't know what to do.
- I'm confused.
100
00:02:54,011 --> 00:02:55,479
Look right now at the door. Go.
101
00:02:56,247 --> 00:02:57,147
Oh...
102
00:02:57,215 --> 00:02:58,716
that is a strapping
young man.
103
00:02:58,783 --> 00:03:00,850
NICK:
That is Jax McTavish.
104
00:03:00,917 --> 00:03:02,418
He plays safety
for San Francisco.
105
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:03,653
Why's he with Winston?
106
00:03:03,721 --> 00:03:05,388
Winston looks so cool.
107
00:03:05,456 --> 00:03:07,390
- What up, guys?
- Oh, "What's up, guys."
108
00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:08,758
You're just gonna walk over
and say, "What's up, guys?"
109
00:03:08,826 --> 00:03:10,626
Winston, does he think
you're Omar Epps?
110
00:03:10,694 --> 00:03:12,261
(Chuckling):
You guys talking about Jax?
111
00:03:12,329 --> 00:03:14,129
Look, I interviewed him
at the radio station,
112
00:03:14,197 --> 00:03:15,164
and we just
hit it off.
113
00:03:15,232 --> 00:03:16,298
It's not a big deal,
you know,
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00:03:16,366 --> 00:03:17,265
unless you think hanging out
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00:03:17,333 --> 00:03:18,467
with a pro baller is a big deal.
116
00:03:18,534 --> 00:03:20,702
His hands are so big and warm.
117
00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:23,004
I want to fall asleep in them,
like Thumbelina.
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00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,373
How about, uh, introducing me?
119
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,508
(Laughter)
120
00:03:26,576 --> 00:03:27,816
SCHMIDT: Yeah, okay.
You and Jax?
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00:03:27,844 --> 00:03:28,810
(Laughter)
122
00:03:28,878 --> 00:03:29,811
Yeah.
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00:03:29,879 --> 00:03:30,846
Jess and Jax McTavish.
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00:03:30,913 --> 00:03:32,280
Great bit, Jess.
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00:03:32,348 --> 00:03:34,548
(Laughing):
What a dumb idea.
126
00:03:34,616 --> 00:03:36,149
- Do it.
- No.
127
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:38,419
- You can't handle that kind of thunder.
- Hell, no.
128
00:03:38,487 --> 00:03:40,454
Jax and I
are just becoming friends.
129
00:03:40,522 --> 00:03:42,322
- I'm going over there.
- Jess, no, Jess.
130
00:03:42,391 --> 00:03:43,858
Guys...
131
00:03:43,925 --> 00:03:44,925
Hey, Jess, let me show
you something. Hmm?
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00:03:44,993 --> 00:03:46,560
It's right here.
133
00:03:46,628 --> 00:03:48,068
Hi, I'm Jess.
I'm Winston's roommate.
134
00:03:48,096 --> 00:03:49,328
How you doing?
135
00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:50,997
- I'm Jax.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
136
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,504
(Whispering):
Jess, stop it, stop it.
137
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,268
- Cool, so I hear you play
for San Francisco. - I do.
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00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:56,870
7.8 tackles, man,
I can't believe
139
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,371
you didn't go
to the Pro Bowl.
140
00:03:58,439 --> 00:03:59,873
Here's my question:
141
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,908
What's a "point-eight" tackle?
(Laughs)
142
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,010
JESS: Did you know
I'm a teacher?
143
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,377
What would you teach me?
(Laughs)
144
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,479
Nick... the theme is
"masculine garden party."
145
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:08,747
Look at that--
I made a graph.
146
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,015
I thought you said I was
gonna help you plan it.
147
00:04:10,082 --> 00:04:11,583
Nick, we both know that
you're not very good
148
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:12,918
with party chores.
149
00:04:12,985 --> 00:04:14,385
You sent out the
invitations, right?
150
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,755
Me?!
151
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,123
I sent them out?
152
00:04:18,190 --> 00:04:20,191
Okay, I'm older now.
I am wiser.
153
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:21,659
I want to help plan
my own party.
154
00:04:21,727 --> 00:04:23,661
Okay, fine, I will
give you balloons...
155
00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:24,829
Oh, sweet, balloons are...
156
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:26,564
...and Porta Potties.
Porta Potties?!
157
00:04:26,632 --> 00:04:27,832
That sounds like a job
for babies.
158
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,500
Does that look like
a job for babies?
159
00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:31,702
Oh, so this is a big job?
160
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,450
- I thought you were being
disrespectful. - No!
161
00:04:33,505 --> 00:04:35,873
- Oh. - Where do you think people
are gonna go to the bathroom?
162
00:04:35,941 --> 00:04:37,240
I never thought of that.
163
00:04:37,308 --> 00:04:38,909
And you are now
in charge of that,
164
00:04:38,976 --> 00:04:40,444
and if you dig a hole
165
00:04:40,511 --> 00:04:43,112
in a- in, in a dirt field,
I'm gonna kill you.
166
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:46,513
I don't want
the responsibility.
167
00:04:47,318 --> 00:04:48,518
You can do this, man.
168
00:04:48,586 --> 00:04:50,454
What, what are
your chores?
169
00:04:50,521 --> 00:04:52,621
- Well, Porta Potties.
- Porta Potties.
170
00:04:52,689 --> 00:04:54,389
What's-- now, what is the
first chore that I gave you?
171
00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:55,579
I have absolutely no memory.
172
00:04:55,592 --> 00:04:56,759
Balloons!
173
00:04:57,527 --> 00:04:59,428
I'm having
an anxiety attack.
174
00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:04,360
Yes, Ma, yes, now,
look, I-have to go.
175
00:05:04,481 --> 00:05:07,117
It's two men celebrating living
together for ten years.
176
00:05:07,184 --> 00:05:08,885
Uh, no, they're not.
177
00:05:08,953 --> 00:05:11,087
No, I can tell you for a fact
that they're not.
178
00:05:11,155 --> 00:05:12,756
Okay, okay,
I'm hanging up.
179
00:05:13,423 --> 00:05:15,191
So, good news.
180
00:05:15,259 --> 00:05:17,293
Um, my mom spoke to
your mom last night,
181
00:05:17,361 --> 00:05:20,162
and they've given
us their blessings.
182
00:05:20,229 --> 00:05:22,164
So that means...
183
00:05:22,231 --> 00:05:23,999
Well, now that
the moms approve,
184
00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:25,834
when do you want
to do this thing?
185
00:05:26,902 --> 00:05:30,235
Is that a... (Scoffs)
that a proposal?
186
00:05:30,273 --> 00:05:32,541
Oh, are, are you upset?
I'm sorry, I...
187
00:05:32,608 --> 00:05:33,929
It's just, with
arranged marriage,
188
00:05:33,976 --> 00:05:35,276
there isn't a
lot of romance.
189
00:05:35,343 --> 00:05:37,278
No, no, no, I'm s--
I'm sorry, actually.
190
00:05:37,345 --> 00:05:38,946
I think I'm just
a little taken aback
191
00:05:39,014 --> 00:05:41,382
by how quick
this all has been.
192
00:05:41,449 --> 00:05:43,017
I barely know you, and...
193
00:05:43,085 --> 00:05:45,386
I used to just think that
if I was being proposed to,
194
00:05:45,453 --> 00:05:47,321
I would notice
it was happening.
195
00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:49,756
But we're doing this thing?
196
00:05:49,824 --> 00:05:51,864
Maybe you could just stop
saying "doing this thing."
197
00:05:52,626 --> 00:05:53,760
Yup.
198
00:05:55,629 --> 00:05:57,130
Really did it.
199
00:05:57,198 --> 00:05:59,566
Beautiful job,
thank you so much, what a...
200
00:05:59,633 --> 00:06:02,102
This is amazing-- everything's
tin, you guys, everything.
201
00:06:04,604 --> 00:06:05,572
Hey, man.
202
00:06:05,639 --> 00:06:07,807
Rented out the whole park, so
take your soccer someplace else.
203
00:06:07,874 --> 00:06:09,508
Give us our ball back,
you douche.
204
00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:11,817
Hey, yeah, sure, no, I'll give
you your ball back. Great.
205
00:06:13,646 --> 00:06:16,979
(Grunts)
Pure tin, pure tin.
206
00:06:19,519 --> 00:06:21,386
Take your football
back to Europe.
207
00:06:21,454 --> 00:06:24,787
- Really? - Who's the douche
now, you douche "B"?
208
00:06:24,857 --> 00:06:27,258
I couldn't stop you from
inviting Jax to the party,
209
00:06:27,326 --> 00:06:29,393
but I can stop it
from going any further.
210
00:06:29,461 --> 00:06:31,129
I will not lose Jax
as a friend, okay?
211
00:06:31,197 --> 00:06:32,463
I might not have
any game,
212
00:06:32,531 --> 00:06:35,066
but, oh, my goodness,
can I take game away.
213
00:06:35,134 --> 00:06:37,235
I'm getting that mouth on my mouth,
and don't you try to stop me, you...
214
00:06:37,302 --> 00:06:39,870
Look, clearly I have the upper
hand when it comes to Jax.
215
00:06:39,938 --> 00:06:42,305
- Do you? - Oh, I do, because
I know all about sports.
216
00:06:42,373 --> 00:06:44,541
Jess, you know
nothing about sports.
217
00:06:44,609 --> 00:06:46,710
Oh, what am I going to do?
I guess I'll just have to use
218
00:06:46,778 --> 00:06:51,111
my eyes, hair, boobs, legs,
and adorable personality.
219
00:06:51,315 --> 00:06:52,716
(Chuckles)
220
00:06:52,784 --> 00:06:54,016
Fool.
221
00:06:54,084 --> 00:06:56,285
I got, like, three
of those things.
222
00:06:56,353 --> 00:06:57,920
These are amazing.
223
00:06:57,988 --> 00:06:59,088
You also got tablecloths?
224
00:06:59,156 --> 00:07:00,589
I feel so fancy.
225
00:07:00,657 --> 00:07:02,258
How much did you spend
on this, Schmidt?
226
00:07:02,325 --> 00:07:05,658
Ah, Nicholas, I have what's
called an income, you know.
227
00:07:06,530 --> 00:07:07,496
Well, you're not
the only one
228
00:07:07,564 --> 00:07:10,065
who spent a little
bit of money on this.
229
00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:12,367
- Okay. - Check this out, Schmidt,
you're gonna freak out.
230
00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:14,669
Hey, I'm presenting,
I'm presenting it.
231
00:07:14,737 --> 00:07:16,004
And that ain't no rental.
232
00:07:16,672 --> 00:07:17,672
Get up here.
233
00:07:17,740 --> 00:07:19,941
This is owned and operated
by Mr. Nick Miller.
234
00:07:20,009 --> 00:07:21,143
Little help from Sid.
235
00:07:21,210 --> 00:07:22,377
You bought a Porta Potti?
236
00:07:22,444 --> 00:07:24,045
This one has warm
and cold water,
237
00:07:24,113 --> 00:07:25,780
real soap dispensers,
a fan.
238
00:07:25,847 --> 00:07:27,148
Too much.
239
00:07:27,215 --> 00:07:28,482
What's that?
That's garbage.
240
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,284
Garbage-- that's what
the nursing home said
241
00:07:30,351 --> 00:07:31,919
about my mattress.
I'll take it.
242
00:07:31,987 --> 00:07:34,922
For 60 bucks, and they threw in
something called
243
00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:36,857
"septic enzymes," which I
don't know what that is,
244
00:07:36,925 --> 00:07:39,293
but you're not supposed to
get it in your eyes, for sure.
245
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,295
I'm a small business owner.
246
00:07:41,362 --> 00:07:43,997
Why on earth
would you buy a...?
247
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,232
You know what? Forget
about it, I'm proud of you.
248
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:47,834
- Thank you, man. - I gave you a
chore and you came through.
249
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,602
Yeah, now, look,
now we have two.
250
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,037
- What do you mean we have two-- two of what?
- Two bathrooms.
251
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,673
Yours and El Baño Presidente.
252
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,241
That's a Porta Potti?
253
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:56,642
Yeah, luxury toilet.
254
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,510
I thought that was
the visitor's center.
255
00:07:58,577 --> 00:07:59,812
- Well...
- That's enormous.
256
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:01,713
Why did you get that,
Schmidt?
257
00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:03,548
What, did you think
I was gonna screw up?
258
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:05,517
No, come on, man, no.
259
00:08:05,584 --> 00:08:07,452
You know how our
relationship works.
260
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,587
I'm over-responsible,
you're under-responsible.
261
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,656
Here's the good news-- now
people have a backup to use...
262
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:14,091
No, I want everyone to use this,
I want it to be the main potty.
263
00:08:14,159 --> 00:08:15,592
Oh, n-no, I don't think that
should be the main anything.
264
00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:17,061
I think people
would be better off
265
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:18,529
if they just made a
caca in their hand.
266
00:08:18,596 --> 00:08:20,497
I don't think so;
Mine's better than that.
267
00:08:20,565 --> 00:08:22,366
- I'm sure you killed it on balloons.
- Well... if you let me explain
268
00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:23,701
- what happened with the balloons...
- Who needs balloons?
269
00:08:23,768 --> 00:08:25,436
I didn't want balloons anyway.
270
00:08:25,503 --> 00:08:26,804
This isn't a little
girl's birthday party.
271
00:08:26,872 --> 00:08:28,405
This is a celebration
of friendship.
272
00:08:28,473 --> 00:08:29,473
- Then, as a friend...
- Yeah.
273
00:08:29,474 --> 00:08:30,974
I want you
to get rid of that.
274
00:08:31,042 --> 00:08:32,409
- I want everybody using mine.
- You spit on the...
275
00:08:32,410 --> 00:08:34,811
- You brought a dirt dungeon to our TinFinity.
- All right, well, we'll see.
276
00:08:34,812 --> 00:08:36,046
I'm proud of you;
You did good.
277
00:08:36,113 --> 00:08:39,446
I'm proud of you.
You bought a spaceship.
278
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:41,484
Hey, man, you
watch Homeland?
279
00:08:41,552 --> 00:08:43,386
No? I'm in the first
season, second episode.
280
00:08:43,454 --> 00:08:44,855
Don't spoil anything.
281
00:08:44,922 --> 00:08:46,088
Hey, flag on the play.
282
00:08:46,156 --> 00:08:47,156
Too many men
on the field.
283
00:08:47,224 --> 00:08:48,357
Winston, get out.
284
00:08:48,424 --> 00:08:50,359
Jax, over here
on the bench with me.
285
00:08:50,426 --> 00:08:52,066
- Come on, let me show you some stuff.
- Okay.
286
00:08:58,534 --> 00:09:00,002
Go, go, Jess, go.
287
00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:01,103
Oh, boy.
288
00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:02,337
(Grunting)
289
00:09:03,705 --> 00:09:04,906
You want me?
Come and get me.
290
00:09:04,974 --> 00:09:07,374
I'm gonna get you...
you can't get by me.
291
00:09:07,441 --> 00:09:08,842
You're down.
292
00:09:09,378 --> 00:09:10,644
Why would you do that?
293
00:09:10,712 --> 00:09:13,014
Winston, we're on
the same team.
294
00:09:14,316 --> 00:09:15,649
What are you doing?
(Grunts)
295
00:09:15,717 --> 00:09:16,918
You did it!
296
00:09:16,986 --> 00:09:18,451
Touchdown!
297
00:09:18,519 --> 00:09:19,552
Man.
298
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,855
(Grunting)
299
00:09:21,923 --> 00:09:22,890
WINSTON:
N-N-No!
300
00:09:22,957 --> 00:09:23,790
Why?
301
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,627
What's going on, Sid?
302
00:09:27,695 --> 00:09:29,562
Did you tell 'em
that ours works?
303
00:09:29,630 --> 00:09:31,110
Hey, guys, this is
available, no line.
304
00:09:31,165 --> 00:09:32,332
That Porta Potti
305
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,200
- looks weird, Nick.
- What?
306
00:09:34,268 --> 00:09:36,302
It looks a little,
looks a little weird.
307
00:09:36,370 --> 00:09:37,803
You look a little
weird, Sanders.
308
00:09:37,871 --> 00:09:39,738
Why don't you wipe
your butt with a little
309
00:09:39,806 --> 00:09:41,840
strawberry crepe,
you little whiner?
310
00:09:41,909 --> 00:09:44,277
I don't really do well
with bathroom pressure.
311
00:09:44,344 --> 00:09:46,212
- Robby, don't dog me like this.
- I'm gonna give you your space.
312
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:47,413
No, 'cause they're all
following you, Robby,
313
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,415
they're all...
314
00:09:49,482 --> 00:09:50,615
Get in there.
315
00:09:50,682 --> 00:09:51,849
I don't have to go anymore.
316
00:09:51,918 --> 00:09:53,218
- Really?
- Yeah.
317
00:09:53,286 --> 00:09:54,752
So that's not full of pee?
(Groans)
318
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:57,488
- No.
- I saw you drinking those sodas.
319
00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,190
- No, no, no, it's good.
- How about now?
320
00:09:59,258 --> 00:10:00,591
Stop, stop, you're gonna make me...
(Both laughing)
321
00:10:00,659 --> 00:10:02,193
I don't have to go,
I don't have to go.
322
00:10:02,261 --> 00:10:05,594
Get in there, dude,
or get out of this party.
323
00:10:05,798 --> 00:10:07,231
Wrong choice.
324
00:10:07,299 --> 00:10:09,333
Nick, what are you doing?
325
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:10,734
I bought a Porta
Potti, Jess.
326
00:10:10,802 --> 00:10:11,902
- What, why?
- Yeah.
327
00:10:11,970 --> 00:10:13,070
- I'm a small business owner...
- You own
328
00:10:13,138 --> 00:10:14,704
- a Porta Potti?
- Yeah, but nobody's using it.
329
00:10:14,772 --> 00:10:16,407
This is not about a Porta Potti.
330
00:10:16,474 --> 00:10:18,008
It is about a
Porta Potti.
331
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,043
I don't want to
talk about this.
332
00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:20,577
You know, it's been really nice
333
00:10:20,645 --> 00:10:22,045
hanging out with Jax
334
00:10:22,112 --> 00:10:24,914
because he likes to talk
about his feelings.
335
00:10:24,982 --> 00:10:26,615
Give me a break, Jess.
Is that really what you want--
336
00:10:26,683 --> 00:10:29,618
a man who talks about his
feelings all the time?
337
00:10:29,686 --> 00:10:31,054
No, right?
338
00:10:34,858 --> 00:10:37,593
Do you want me
to use your Porta Potti?
339
00:10:37,661 --> 00:10:39,594
Yeah, but don't just do it for
me; Do it 'cause you want to.
340
00:10:39,662 --> 00:10:41,496
Mm, I'm definitely
doing it for you.
341
00:10:41,564 --> 00:10:43,231
- And just a tip...
- Yeah?
342
00:10:43,299 --> 00:10:45,400
If you want people
to use your toilet,
343
00:10:45,468 --> 00:10:47,035
don't camp out in front of it.
344
00:10:47,103 --> 00:10:49,004
Do me a favor,
if you're going to go in.
345
00:10:49,072 --> 00:10:51,773
- Mm-hmm. - Really sell it, 'cause
I want girls to see it.
346
00:10:51,841 --> 00:10:53,408
- Okay. - You know what I mean?
Just, like, make a show of it.
347
00:10:53,476 --> 00:10:55,009
- Okay.
- Thank you.
348
00:10:55,110 --> 00:10:56,010
Bye, Jess, thank you
349
00:10:56,078 --> 00:10:58,245
Ooh, just my style!
350
00:10:58,313 --> 00:11:00,014
Nicely vintage.
351
00:11:00,082 --> 00:11:01,615
Can't wait to get inside!
352
00:11:01,683 --> 00:11:03,284
Sure wish I had a good book.
353
00:11:04,352 --> 00:11:05,119
Can't wait.
354
00:11:05,187 --> 00:11:07,388
(Flies buzzing)
Oh, this is horrible!
355
00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:09,223
I got it; You told
me like, ten times.
356
00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:11,358
Okay, but I'm just saying,
I don't know what that one does.
357
00:11:11,425 --> 00:11:13,526
Look, the instant
the big speech begins,
358
00:11:13,594 --> 00:11:15,095
you initiate toast sequence.
359
00:11:15,162 --> 00:11:16,396
You got that, Red?
360
00:11:16,464 --> 00:11:17,597
Look, don't-don't
mess this up.
361
00:11:17,664 --> 00:11:19,099
Tippy go bye-bye,
you mess this up.
362
00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:21,334
- Tippy go bye-bye.
- Okay.
363
00:11:21,402 --> 00:11:23,136
Okay, great.
364
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,270
Bite me, you wang.
365
00:11:24,338 --> 00:11:25,538
What did you say, man?
366
00:11:26,606 --> 00:11:27,506
- Hey, Schmidt.
- Hey.
367
00:11:27,573 --> 00:11:28,874
You remember Shivrang?
368
00:11:28,941 --> 00:11:30,476
Shivrang, what is up, my man?
369
00:11:30,543 --> 00:11:32,244
Welcome to America.
370
00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:33,479
Listen, just a little heads up,
we're serving
371
00:11:33,546 --> 00:11:34,513
cow-meat tacos tonight, so...
372
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:35,714
You mean beef.
373
00:11:35,781 --> 00:11:38,384
Cow meat, Shivrang.
374
00:11:38,451 --> 00:11:40,152
I'm not crazy.
375
00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:41,720
It is beef, right?
376
00:11:42,921 --> 00:11:44,088
Hey, can I just say
377
00:11:44,156 --> 00:11:46,190
I like you a lot?
378
00:11:46,258 --> 00:11:47,525
(Chuckles)
379
00:11:47,592 --> 00:11:48,792
I like you, too.
380
00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:50,128
A lot?
381
00:11:50,195 --> 00:11:51,762
'Cause I said "A lot."
382
00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:55,133
I-I knew I felt this way,
the moment I met you.
383
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,533
Yes, a guy who can tell me
exactly how he feels.
384
00:11:59,603 --> 00:12:00,870
That's what I want.
385
00:12:00,938 --> 00:12:02,172
That is what I want.
386
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:04,874
It's just...
387
00:12:05,442 --> 00:12:07,645
You, uh...
388
00:12:07,712 --> 00:12:09,211
(Sobbing):
389
00:12:09,212 --> 00:12:11,545
You make me...
390
00:12:12,050 --> 00:12:13,350
Are you okay?
391
00:12:13,918 --> 00:12:15,451
I-I like you a lot.
392
00:12:17,454 --> 00:12:18,587
Yeah, I-I...
393
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,389
Yeah... (Clears throat)
394
00:12:20,457 --> 00:12:21,657
I'm fine, I mean...
395
00:12:22,424 --> 00:12:23,459
You know what else I like?
396
00:12:23,527 --> 00:12:24,826
I like beer.
397
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:26,495
I drink beer.
398
00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:28,730
'Cause I'm a man,
and I play football.
399
00:12:28,798 --> 00:12:30,998
You want some beer?
I'm gonna get a beer.
400
00:12:35,949 --> 00:12:38,083
- Hey, there you are.
- Hey, Schmidty.
401
00:12:38,451 --> 00:12:39,951
. It's almost toast time,
and I made... - Okay.
402
00:12:40,019 --> 00:12:41,620
...made up a few cards. You know,
403
00:12:41,688 --> 00:12:44,222
just jotted down a few notes
and bullet points for you.
404
00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:45,622
I was gonna do my own toast.
405
00:12:45,689 --> 00:12:47,090
I know what I want
to say about you.
406
00:12:47,158 --> 00:12:49,626
At least take a look at them.
407
00:12:49,693 --> 00:12:53,026
- I worked really hard on these.
- "I'm nothing without you."
408
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:54,564
"Thank you for supporting me
409
00:12:54,632 --> 00:12:56,333
"during that thing,
410
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,334
financially and..."
411
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,236
This is a full speech.
412
00:12:59,303 --> 00:13:01,303
Feel free to make it your own.
413
00:13:01,371 --> 00:13:03,672
Why is it that you think
you're better than me, Schmidt?
414
00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:05,574
What? What are you
talking about?
415
00:13:05,642 --> 00:13:08,077
Why do you think
you're better than me?
416
00:13:08,145 --> 00:13:09,711
Our friendship didn't used
to be this way.
417
00:13:09,779 --> 00:13:11,514
You know, back in college,
we were equals.
418
00:13:11,581 --> 00:13:13,115
You get any last night?
419
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,617
- No. You?
- Hell, yeah.
420
00:13:15,685 --> 00:13:17,718
- Really?
- No.
421
00:13:17,786 --> 00:13:20,588
- We're equals.
- Equals.
422
00:13:20,656 --> 00:13:22,524
And then you got that juicer,
423
00:13:22,591 --> 00:13:23,925
which I was excited about.
424
00:13:23,992 --> 00:13:25,860
You were
at a dangerous fat level,
425
00:13:25,928 --> 00:13:27,295
but somehow you got skinny,
426
00:13:27,363 --> 00:13:29,830
and I became this idiot
that you need to take care of.
427
00:13:29,898 --> 00:13:32,133
Don't resent me for
getting my life together.
428
00:13:32,201 --> 00:13:34,435
- Oh, your life's together?
- Yeah.
429
00:13:34,502 --> 00:13:36,002
You're throwing a party
430
00:13:36,071 --> 00:13:37,872
to celebrate living
with your college roommate
431
00:13:37,939 --> 00:13:39,673
- for ten years.
- Yeah.
432
00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:41,108
What are we doing here?
433
00:13:41,142 --> 00:13:43,177
What are we celebrating?
434
00:13:43,211 --> 00:13:45,145
What do you mean,
"what are we celebrating?"
435
00:13:45,213 --> 00:13:47,548
We're celebrating TinFinity!
436
00:13:48,615 --> 00:13:50,948
Ten years, two hearts,
437
00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:52,452
one home!
438
00:13:52,519 --> 00:13:54,087
Loyalty and great conversation.
439
00:13:54,154 --> 00:13:56,389
It's right here on the cards!
440
00:13:56,457 --> 00:13:59,525
Okay, that ain't right.
441
00:13:59,593 --> 00:14:01,427
- Hey, Winston.
- Aha.
442
00:14:01,995 --> 00:14:03,896
I see you've come to gloat.
443
00:14:03,964 --> 00:14:05,897
Is Jax known
for being intense?
444
00:14:05,965 --> 00:14:07,765
Yeah, Jess, he's supposed
to be intense.
445
00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:09,134
He's a professional athlete.
446
00:14:09,202 --> 00:14:10,602
You know, he doesn't run.
447
00:14:10,669 --> 00:14:12,104
He sprints.
448
00:14:12,171 --> 00:14:14,606
He doesn't jump.
He leaps.
449
00:14:14,673 --> 00:14:17,775
And he doesn't like, Jess.
He loves.
450
00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:20,212
Hmm.
451
00:14:26,649 --> 00:14:27,284
(Clears throat)
452
00:14:27,352 --> 00:14:28,852
- Hey.
- Hey.
453
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,821
Hey, look, I'm sorry about...
454
00:14:30,888 --> 00:14:33,424
No, no, no, no, don't be...
don't be sorry. It's...
455
00:14:33,492 --> 00:14:35,493
The truth is...
456
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,495
I just got out of a relationship
that sort of crushed me.
457
00:14:39,562 --> 00:14:40,663
And everybody thinks that
458
00:14:40,731 --> 00:14:42,599
pro football players are
big and strong, and I am.
459
00:14:42,666 --> 00:14:44,534
It's true. Look.
460
00:14:44,602 --> 00:14:45,935
Whoa! (Laughing)
461
00:14:46,003 --> 00:14:47,470
This is nothing for me.
462
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:48,904
I can have 20 of you.
463
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:50,640
- Never put me down.
- But that means...
464
00:14:50,707 --> 00:14:52,542
when I fall, I fall hard.
465
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:54,409
And yes, sometimes I cry.
466
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,478
I cry, too.
I cry all the time.
467
00:14:56,546 --> 00:14:58,413
I cry in my bedroom,
in the bathroom,
468
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,048
in the hallway,
in the elevator.
469
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:02,518
This morning...
I woke up crying.
470
00:15:02,585 --> 00:15:05,787
I have this feeling...
471
00:15:05,855 --> 00:15:07,256
it's like
I've known you forever.
472
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,590
I have this feeling, too.
473
00:15:11,193 --> 00:15:13,861
Like, I want to French you.
474
00:15:13,928 --> 00:15:16,564
I really want to
French you. (Chuckles)
475
00:15:16,632 --> 00:15:19,965
SHIVRANG (Over P.A.): Ex-Excuse me. Can I...
Can I have your attention, please?
476
00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:24,205
Uh, excuse me. Could I please
have your attention?
477
00:15:24,273 --> 00:15:25,438
Um... Oh. Whoa.
478
00:15:25,506 --> 00:15:27,407
Hello. I don't know,
479
00:15:27,475 --> 00:15:30,808
um, any of you,
but I'm Shivrang. Hello.
480
00:15:31,111 --> 00:15:33,746
- ♪ It started off so well... ♪
- And... oh, there's music now.
481
00:15:33,814 --> 00:15:35,048
Um, look...
482
00:15:35,115 --> 00:15:36,816
And... Oh. Oh.
483
00:15:36,884 --> 00:15:37,850
What the hell is this?
484
00:15:37,918 --> 00:15:39,886
Um, Cece, where are you?
485
00:15:40,953 --> 00:15:42,020
Hey.
486
00:15:42,088 --> 00:15:44,623
Uninitiate toast sequence!
This isn't it.
487
00:15:44,691 --> 00:15:45,891
- This song is for Nick and I!
-♪In your glory and your love ♪
488
00:15:45,958 --> 00:15:47,626
Look, I know I said
489
00:15:47,694 --> 00:15:50,095
I wasn't gonna do
some big proposal thing, but
490
00:15:50,163 --> 00:15:53,496
that being said, I am
491
00:15:53,567 --> 00:15:56,900
so excited to spend the rest
of my life with you,
492
00:15:57,036 --> 00:15:58,803
(Guests gasping)
so...
493
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:01,105
WOMAN: Wow!
♪ Were nothing but a sham ♪
494
00:16:01,173 --> 00:16:03,308
Cece...
495
00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:04,609
(Gasps happily)
496
00:16:06,845 --> 00:16:10,178
Do you, um... do you want
to do this thing?
497
00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:14,983
♪ I'll love you until I die... ♪
498
00:16:18,022 --> 00:16:18,955
(Laughs)
499
00:16:19,323 --> 00:16:20,691
Yes.
500
00:16:20,758 --> 00:16:22,192
- Yes? Yeah?
- Yes.
501
00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:23,760
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
502
00:16:23,828 --> 00:16:25,596
♪ Save me... ♪
503
00:16:25,663 --> 00:16:27,197
- Oh.
- Oh, wow.
504
00:16:27,265 --> 00:16:28,599
This is nuts.
505
00:16:28,666 --> 00:16:30,165
I-I didn't do this.
506
00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:33,567
♪ Save me, save me ♪
507
00:16:34,304 --> 00:16:37,637
♪ Save me ♪
508
00:16:37,741 --> 00:16:39,575
♪ I'm naked
and I'm far from home... ♪
509
00:16:39,643 --> 00:16:41,143
It's shaped like an
infinity sign, because
510
00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:43,212
they're going to
be married forever.
511
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:44,447
(Laughs)
512
00:16:44,514 --> 00:16:45,880
♪ The slate will soon ♪
513
00:16:45,948 --> 00:16:48,216
♪ Be clean... ♪
514
00:16:48,284 --> 00:16:51,453
Thank you.
515
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,888
Thank you. Thanks.
516
00:16:55,456 --> 00:17:00,289
♪ To start again
with somebody new... ♪
517
00:17:00,763 --> 00:17:03,230
Hi. Uh, I'd like
to say something, too.
518
00:17:03,298 --> 00:17:05,065
- That's Jax McTavish.
- I know.
519
00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:06,933
Um, I'd like to report
520
00:17:07,001 --> 00:17:09,370
a missing item.
521
00:17:09,437 --> 00:17:10,871
My heart.
522
00:17:11,438 --> 00:17:12,740
It was stolen by that
523
00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:14,508
little heart thief right there.
524
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:15,876
(Clearing throat)
525
00:17:15,943 --> 00:17:17,744
(Guests sighing)
526
00:17:17,811 --> 00:17:19,712
I'm... I'm innocent.
I didn't... I was framed.
527
00:17:19,780 --> 00:17:22,682
I just want to say in front
of God and all these people
528
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,318
at this gorgeous party
529
00:17:25,386 --> 00:17:26,819
that I'm in love with you.
530
00:17:26,887 --> 00:17:29,289
Mm... no. No.
531
00:17:29,356 --> 00:17:31,791
- And I know it's early...
- Nah.
532
00:17:31,858 --> 00:17:35,191
...but I think I met the girl
that... I'm gonna marry.
533
00:17:35,561 --> 00:17:36,828
Who...? Who?
534
00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:38,263
I'm gonna marry you!
535
00:17:38,331 --> 00:17:39,798
(Women shrieking,
men chuckling)
536
00:17:39,865 --> 00:17:42,133
We are not
on the same page.
537
00:17:42,201 --> 00:17:43,734
I'm gonna marry you.
538
00:17:44,003 --> 00:17:45,671
I'm gonna put a baby in you.
539
00:17:45,738 --> 00:17:48,940
We're gonna have dogs and cats.
540
00:17:49,008 --> 00:17:51,341
(Guests applaud & cheer)
I met my third wife!
541
00:17:53,824 --> 00:17:56,057
Schmidty? Schmidty?
542
00:17:56,824 --> 00:17:58,492
Schmidty? Hey.
543
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,293
- Schmidt...
- Stop it!
544
00:18:01,611 --> 00:18:03,629
You okay, buddy?
545
00:18:04,197 --> 00:18:06,833
Yeah. No, I'm-I'm fine.
546
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:09,201
It's just, I'm really
annoyed about the lighting cues.
547
00:18:09,269 --> 00:18:12,004
Also, our girl-to-guy ratio
is taking a real nosedive.
548
00:18:12,072 --> 00:18:14,072
I mean, we're, like,
two bro groups away
549
00:18:14,139 --> 00:18:15,974
from being a total wiener fest.
550
00:18:16,441 --> 00:18:18,277
It's just really disappointing
when things don't work out
551
00:18:18,345 --> 00:18:20,012
the way you thought
they would, you know?
552
00:18:20,580 --> 00:18:21,746
I do.
553
00:18:22,814 --> 00:18:24,816
Hey, why don't we get
out of here for a bit?
554
00:18:25,284 --> 00:18:27,286
Get away from this party stress.
555
00:18:27,354 --> 00:18:28,820
You mean, like,
take a trip together.
556
00:18:30,756 --> 00:18:34,389
No, just, like,
walk 40 yards away.
557
00:18:34,626 --> 00:18:37,260
Don't think we need a trip
or anything like that, pal.
558
00:18:39,997 --> 00:18:41,731
- Jess?
- Hey!
559
00:18:41,799 --> 00:18:43,900
- Hey!
- Hey! Oh, my God!
560
00:18:43,968 --> 00:18:45,735
- So excited for you. Let me see it.
- Yeah.
561
00:18:45,803 --> 00:18:48,605
- Oh. So beautiful.
- Mm-hmm.
562
00:18:48,672 --> 00:18:50,440
- Is this good? This is good, right?
- It's good.
563
00:18:50,508 --> 00:18:51,808
I mean,
it's-it's what I wanted.
564
00:18:51,876 --> 00:18:53,509
- Yes! Yay!
- I'm getting married!
565
00:18:53,576 --> 00:18:55,878
(Both whooping)
566
00:18:55,945 --> 00:18:57,613
So, what are you... what
are you doing in here?
567
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,116
- I'm hiding.
- Oh, yeah, that guy.
568
00:19:00,183 --> 00:19:02,451
- He seemed to, uh, really like you
when he gave that speech. - Yeah.
569
00:19:02,919 --> 00:19:04,487
He might not be the one.
570
00:19:04,554 --> 00:19:06,722
(Sobbing and muttering)
571
00:19:06,789 --> 00:19:08,069
So you still
thinking about Nick?
572
00:19:08,691 --> 00:19:11,192
No. Shut up. No.
573
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:13,294
All right.
(Scoffs)
574
00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:15,730
Look at that, man.
You did get a balloon.
575
00:19:15,797 --> 00:19:18,733
Yeah, I got a kick-ass
hot air balloon.
576
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,536
But it turns out, you need
propane to get it up in the air.
577
00:19:21,603 --> 00:19:23,005
- You didn't know that?
- How would I know?
578
00:19:23,006 --> 00:19:24,239
You didn't want to
do any research?
579
00:19:24,306 --> 00:19:27,507
How could I do any research?
I was dealing with the Porta Potti.
580
00:19:27,574 --> 00:19:29,009
(Laughing)
581
00:19:29,077 --> 00:19:30,477
It's actually kind of nice.
582
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:31,845
It's peaceful.
583
00:19:31,913 --> 00:19:33,480
Yeah.
584
00:19:35,582 --> 00:19:38,152
Hey, I'm sorry about Cece, man.
585
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:39,819
I know it sounds
kind of cheesy,
586
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,355
but I always thought that
I was gonna be the man
587
00:19:42,423 --> 00:19:44,490
to bone Cece for
the rest of her life.
588
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:45,925
I think we all did, buddy.
589
00:19:47,794 --> 00:19:49,595
To answer your question
from before,
590
00:19:49,663 --> 00:19:51,830
this is what
we were celebrating.
591
00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:53,533
Yeah, that's right.
592
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,068
This is what we're celebrating.
593
00:19:55,135 --> 00:19:56,302
- Yes. Yes.
- Yeah.
594
00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:58,103
Right?
You're my best friend, man.
595
00:19:58,204 --> 00:20:00,038
- Please.
- Ten years of living together
596
00:20:00,106 --> 00:20:03,241
Upsetting, but kind of
great, man.
597
00:20:03,309 --> 00:20:05,810
- Here's to it.
- Yes.
598
00:20:06,178 --> 00:20:08,880
Not having roommates is for
real losers, you know that?
599
00:20:08,948 --> 00:20:10,482
Mm-hmm.
600
00:20:10,550 --> 00:20:12,650
- Equals.
- You said it, man.
601
00:20:15,753 --> 00:20:18,189
(Yelps) Oh, you are
such a Nancy boy.
602
00:20:18,256 --> 00:20:19,656
- What is in that, man?
- Liquor!
603
00:20:19,724 --> 00:20:21,825
♪ If not for you... ♪
604
00:20:24,129 --> 00:20:25,929
♪ Babe, I couldn't
find the door... ♪
605
00:20:25,997 --> 00:20:29,165
Mm. You pick out a song
for our first dance?
606
00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:30,800
(Laughs)
Yes, I did.
607
00:20:30,867 --> 00:20:32,835
I didn't expect you
to dance to it,
608
00:20:32,903 --> 00:20:34,837
but you know, I was going
to dance for you.
609
00:20:34,905 --> 00:20:36,806
Yeah. Come on, it's too close
quarters for that, Schmidt.
610
00:20:36,873 --> 00:20:38,441
That is beautiful.
Pass the hooch.
611
00:20:38,509 --> 00:20:39,775
WINSTON: Nick's been
hogging it all.
612
00:20:39,843 --> 00:20:41,677
Mmm. Here, have a sip.
613
00:20:41,745 --> 00:20:45,078
My mouth's been on it.
It's not a big deal.
614
00:20:45,515 --> 00:20:47,682
It's just my mouth!
615
00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:49,184
I... I... It's okay.
I'm all right.
616
00:20:49,252 --> 00:20:51,170
Come on, have a sip!
617
00:20:51,171 --> 00:20:52,521
You put your mouth all over it!
618
00:20:52,589 --> 00:20:54,090
You just said that.
You put your mouth all over it,
619
00:20:54,157 --> 00:20:56,458
and I don't want to
think about your mouth!
620
00:20:56,526 --> 00:20:58,347
- You okay? I just...
- Yup, I'm fine.
621
00:20:58,361 --> 00:20:59,528
What are you doing? What
are you doing, Jess?
622
00:20:59,596 --> 00:21:01,763
I just don't understand
why we only have...
623
00:21:01,831 --> 00:21:03,364
I mean, I feel like I
should have my own bottle.
624
00:21:03,432 --> 00:21:05,399
NICK: Because we were
all gonna share...
625
00:21:05,467 --> 00:21:06,701
- I don't know where I'm going, but I'm going!
- Where are you going?!
626
00:21:06,769 --> 00:21:08,803
We're pretty awesome
wingmen for each other.
627
00:21:08,871 --> 00:21:09,971
- Right.
- Because we're both the guy
628
00:21:10,039 --> 00:21:11,472
the girls want to sleep with,
629
00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:13,008
and we're both
the other guy, too.
630
00:21:13,075 --> 00:21:15,343
Neither one of us are
Tom Cruise or the other one.
631
00:21:15,410 --> 00:21:16,544
We're both Iceman.
632
00:21:16,612 --> 00:21:19,279
- Yeah. Equals!
- Equals!
633
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,782
You get a lot of girls?
634
00:21:21,850 --> 00:21:25,085
- Um, I don't know. Yeah...
- Yeah. Me, too.
635
00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,354
- I feel like you probably have a lot
of game with the ladies. - I know what
636
00:21:27,421 --> 00:21:29,990
they want sexually, and I'm not
afraid to give it to them.
637
00:21:30,058 --> 00:21:32,059
- I get that from you. I get that vibe, man.
- What about you?
638
00:21:32,060 --> 00:21:39,628
Sync & corrections by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
639
00:21:32,127 --> 00:21:34,793
I feel like I put off a similar
vibe, but kind of more
640
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:37,628
- on the down-low, you know what I mean?
- Yeah! (Laughing)
641
00:21:37,649 --> 00:21:38,628
- Equals!
- Equals!