1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,007
Hey, Mr. Belvedere, there's two
guys outside with a giant box,
2
00:00:05,008 --> 00:00:07,019
and it's got "happy birthday"
written all over it.
3
00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:09,004
There it is.
4
00:00:09,005 --> 00:00:10,087
Hey, guys.
5
00:00:10,088 --> 00:00:12,073
Pay up, gentlemen.
She's sitting on the couch.
6
00:00:12,374 --> 00:00:13,079
Yeah, right,
you won.
7
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,400
- Let me get a four.
- Mm-hmm.
8
00:00:14,403 --> 00:00:16,020
TGIF marathon tonight.
9
00:00:16,521 --> 00:00:18,067
- What?
- BOTH: I can't take this any more.
10
00:00:18,070 --> 00:00:19,520
What is happening?
11
00:00:19,521 --> 00:00:20,998
I've actually been
working on something.
12
00:00:20,999 --> 00:00:23,546
- A résumé, maybe?
- (Chuckles)
13
00:00:24,596 --> 00:00:26,033
(à la Steve Urkel):
14
00:00:26,096 --> 00:00:28,533
Did I do that?
15
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,510
I'm sorry. Did you just say
you were working on that?
16
00:00:32,511 --> 00:00:34,507
- It's Urkel!
- Urkel?
17
00:00:34,508 --> 00:00:35,550
JESS (Chuckling):
Urkel.
18
00:00:35,551 --> 00:00:37,499
Urkel, Jess?
19
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:39,512
- It's funny.
- Okay, look,
20
00:00:39,515 --> 00:00:41,528
It is perfectly fine
to watch TV all day.
21
00:00:41,529 --> 00:00:43,512
- No, it is not.
- No, it's not.
22
00:00:43,515 --> 00:00:44,571
- But Urkel?!
- Come on.
23
00:00:44,574 --> 00:00:46,582
Not even in my darkest
moments did I do Urkel.
24
00:00:46,583 --> 00:00:48,583
Guys, that's crazy.
This is objectively hilarious.
25
00:00:48,584 --> 00:00:52,504
- I can do any character from an '80s sitcom.
Quiz me. - No.
26
00:00:52,507 --> 00:00:55,592
Oh, Alf, don't eat the cat!
27
00:00:57,529 --> 00:00:59,996
Get out of the city,
Cousin Larry Appleton.
28
00:01:01,512 --> 00:01:03,508
- I'm Frasier Crane.
- No!
29
00:01:03,959 --> 00:01:06,760
Jess, the men in suits here,
the professionals,
30
00:01:06,761 --> 00:01:08,846
- would like to know what the plan is.
- I'm a professional, too, pal.
31
00:01:08,847 --> 00:01:09,994
You're not. Please,
you work in a bar.
32
00:01:09,995 --> 00:01:11,567
It's a whole different thing.
I respect you. Just, please.
33
00:01:11,568 --> 00:01:14,566
I don't know
what the plan is, Schmidt,
34
00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:17,520
but I love working
at the Casserole Shanty.
35
00:01:17,521 --> 00:01:20,507
Today I got a locker,
and in 18 months,
36
00:01:20,508 --> 00:01:22,502
I'm gonna roll into
some sweet dental coverage.
37
00:01:22,503 --> 00:01:24,500
So, yeah, my job
pretty much rules.
38
00:01:25,521 --> 00:01:27,524
Low on bean! Low on bean!
39
00:01:27,525 --> 00:01:30,537
I repeat: I'm low on bean!
40
00:01:30,538 --> 00:01:32,516
I'm good on bean!
41
00:01:32,517 --> 00:01:34,542
Would you like to know what
I did at my job all day today?
42
00:01:34,543 --> 00:01:36,504
- Don't say "crushed it."
- I'm gonna go with "crushed it."
43
00:01:36,507 --> 00:01:38,532
Funny enough, uh, I crushed it.
44
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:41,594
I crushed it all day today,
and then I crushed it some more.
45
00:01:41,595 --> 00:01:42,586
And then it asked me
what I was doing,
46
00:01:42,587 --> 00:01:44,575
and I told it
that I was crushing it.
47
00:01:45,076 --> 00:01:48,011
That's what I do
on a daily basis, Jess.
48
00:01:48,012 --> 00:01:50,074
You used to inspire me.
49
00:01:50,075 --> 00:01:52,020
I mean, not specifically--
50
00:01:52,021 --> 00:01:54,019
because I find teaching
to be icky-- but, you know,
51
00:01:54,020 --> 00:01:56,036
in a vague kind of
"Look at that go-getter in a...
52
00:01:56,037 --> 00:01:58,012
in a brightly colored sweater"
kind of way.
53
00:01:58,013 --> 00:02:00,074
What happened to the inspiring,
visor-less Jess?
54
00:02:00,075 --> 00:02:01,095
(Knocking)
55
00:02:01,096 --> 00:02:03,000
Hey, maybe that's her.
56
00:02:04,038 --> 00:02:07,087
Hey, we just moved in
across the hall.
57
00:02:07,088 --> 00:02:09,028
I'm Chaz.
58
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,999
This is Fife,
Sutton and Brorie.
59
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,029
What's up? Schmidt.
60
00:02:16,038 --> 00:02:18,057
Any-turds, just wanted
to give you a heads up
61
00:02:18,058 --> 00:02:20,062
that we're having some
people over to hang tonight
62
00:02:20,063 --> 00:02:23,038
- and it might get a little loud.
- I like where your head is at.
63
00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:25,008
We're gonna be there
with bells on.
64
00:02:25,009 --> 00:02:27,058
Dolla-dolla bells, y'all.
65
00:02:28,092 --> 00:02:30,061
(Snickers)
66
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:32,088
Well, it's just going to be
a bunch of young people.
67
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,053
So...
68
00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:37,016
Hi. I live here, too.
69
00:02:37,017 --> 00:02:39,016
What are you names?
Schmidt!
70
00:02:39,017 --> 00:02:41,085
- ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ - ♪Who's that girl?♪
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
71
00:02:41,086 --> 00:02:44,003
♪ It's Jess. ♪
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
72
00:02:44,004 --> 00:02:45,054
So, when he said,
73
00:02:45,055 --> 00:02:47,082
"It's just going to be a
bunch of young people,"
74
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,032
well, he must have
meant, "You,"
75
00:02:49,033 --> 00:02:51,091
meaning me, fellow
young person,
76
00:02:51,092 --> 00:02:53,053
"You'll feel
right at home.
77
00:02:53,054 --> 00:02:57,016
And you two walking
corpses, stay away."
78
00:02:57,017 --> 00:02:59,004
You're six months younger
than me, Schmidt.
79
00:02:59,005 --> 00:03:01,004
- You're a corpse for sure.
- Behold.
80
00:03:01,007 --> 00:03:05,049
This actuarial table
stops at age 99.
81
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:07,019
But if you track my
current trajectory,
82
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,092
I'm clearly gonna live till
I'm 123 years old, so...
83
00:03:09,093 --> 00:03:11,095
(Robot voice):
Hello, robot sex.
84
00:03:11,096 --> 00:03:13,070
Is this accurate?
85
00:03:13,071 --> 00:03:16,024
No, no, no, Winston,
I spend $49.95 a month
86
00:03:16,025 --> 00:03:17,096
on a subscription
to an inaccurate
87
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,082
real-time actuarial service.
88
00:03:19,083 --> 00:03:21,087
Then I think I may have died
four years ago.
89
00:03:21,088 --> 00:03:23,091
Oh, yeah?
That sucks.
90
00:03:23,092 --> 00:03:27,078
"African-American male,
life expectancy: 67 years"?
91
00:03:27,079 --> 00:03:28,088
Sounds about right.
92
00:03:28,089 --> 00:03:30,091
"Minus one year if you
frequently question
93
00:03:30,092 --> 00:03:32,028
your career choice."
Check.
94
00:03:32,029 --> 00:03:33,094
"Minus one year
if your chosen field offers
95
00:03:33,095 --> 00:03:35,023
few opportunities
for advancement."
96
00:03:35,024 --> 00:03:36,062
Check and double check.
97
00:03:36,063 --> 00:03:38,999
NICK:
I like getting older.
98
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,012
I feel like I'm finally aging
into my personality.
99
00:03:44,062 --> 00:03:46,070
Keep this crap out of my yard!
100
00:03:46,071 --> 00:03:47,096
(Ice cream truck music playing)
101
00:03:47,097 --> 00:03:50,083
And turn that nonsense down!
102
00:03:52,083 --> 00:03:54,999
They never did get
that Frisbee back.
103
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,021
- I used that Frisbee as a dish. (Chuckles)
- JESS: Seriously?
104
00:03:57,024 --> 00:04:00,042
- I used it for pistachios in my room.
- SCHMIDT: Not only am I the
105
00:04:00,045 --> 00:04:03,028
youngest person in this loft,
I'm also the most successful.
106
00:04:03,029 --> 00:04:06,000
- Oh! Shut up, Schmidt.
- Are you honestly measuring yourself like a little boy?
107
00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:07,086
I'm sorry that you're not
growing any more like me.
108
00:04:07,087 --> 00:04:09,083
And apparently,
I'm gonna be growing forever.
109
00:04:09,084 --> 00:04:11,083
I'm like a Jewish Peter Pan.
Petya Pan.
110
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:14,078
Petter Pan. Pesach Pan.
111
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,088
Why don't you take it down
a notch before this old man
112
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,091
takes you outside and
makes you pick a switch?
113
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:20,588
- I'm like Snow Leopard. You guys are like DOS.
- And as your elder,
114
00:04:20,591 --> 00:04:23,029
- Can I give you a little advice, Schmidt?
Can we talk for a sec? - Sure.
115
00:04:23,032 --> 00:04:25,004
- Yes, yes.
- 'Cause you've kind of gotten under my skin
116
00:04:25,007 --> 00:04:27,083
- A little bit.
- Shoot, Gran Torino.
117
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,079
I'm gonna die so soon.
118
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,045
Do you think that the
neighbors will want, like,
119
00:04:38,046 --> 00:04:39,077
four individual casseroles
120
00:04:39,078 --> 00:04:41,040
or, like, one large
party-size casserole?
121
00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:42,088
Yes, Jess,
that's exactly
122
00:04:42,089 --> 00:04:45,016
what hip, trendy millennials
want to eat: casserole.
123
00:04:45,017 --> 00:04:48,078
Now come on, guys,
just tighten up, all right?
124
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:51,008
- Think young. What the hell is that smell?
- It's Old Spice.
125
00:04:51,011 --> 00:04:53,017
- I'm smelling Old Spice?
- Yeah, and yes,
126
00:04:53,018 --> 00:04:55,079
It has "Old" in the title,
and yes, it's all over my body.
127
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,067
- Okay, well, take it off.
- I'm wearing the Spice. The Spice is cool.
128
00:04:57,068 --> 00:04:58,998
It's not even a real
spice, man. Take it off.
129
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,036
The Spice is coming back!
Everybody knows it!
130
00:05:00,037 --> 00:05:01,077
The guy on the horse!
131
00:05:01,078 --> 00:05:02,096
You can wear any spice.
Don't wear Old Spice!
132
00:05:02,097 --> 00:05:04,066
Classic cologne fight.
133
00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:06,057
(Overlapping shouting)
134
00:05:06,058 --> 00:05:07,092
- JESS: Guys!
- Shh!
135
00:05:08,092 --> 00:05:10,074
Hi.
136
00:05:10,075 --> 00:05:13,032
Zander and Raj
went to Pate's thing,
137
00:05:13,033 --> 00:05:15,067
so tonight's been notched down
to a "chill hang."
138
00:05:15,068 --> 00:05:16,999
Cool.
139
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,054
- I'll just put these...
- Oh.
140
00:05:18,057 --> 00:05:21,008
Thanks for having us.
141
00:05:21,092 --> 00:05:23,087
No, can't do this.
142
00:05:23,088 --> 00:05:25,038
- SCHMIDT: What is up?
- Have fun, kids.
143
00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:27,061
Party hip-hop.
What's going on, kids?
144
00:05:27,062 --> 00:05:28,078
Let's party.
145
00:05:28,079 --> 00:05:30,078
What are you guys doing,
huh? What is that?
146
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:33,003
Is that Top Gun? Oh, look at that.
147
00:05:33,004 --> 00:05:34,071
Look at Anthony Eds,
the "Goose" man.
148
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:37,028
Unbelievable that he dies
in a few scenes.
149
00:05:37,029 --> 00:05:38,049
Goose dies?
150
00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:40,011
Not cool, man.
151
00:05:40,012 --> 00:05:41,583
No, it's... Look, nobody
does an onscreen death
152
00:05:41,584 --> 00:05:43,045
like Anthony Eds.
153
00:05:43,046 --> 00:05:45,046
He's like the Hilary Swank
of bald men.
154
00:05:46,088 --> 00:05:48,065
He's like the
Hilary Swank of bald...
155
00:05:48,066 --> 00:05:49,083
Hold everything.
156
00:05:49,084 --> 00:05:51,061
Is that Cass Shant?
157
00:05:51,062 --> 00:05:53,999
Casserole Shanty?
That's where I work.
158
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,031
Your chicken-broccoli
totally fuels my night bikes.
159
00:05:56,032 --> 00:05:57,088
I'm very happy to help.
160
00:05:57,089 --> 00:06:01,058
- Some of my friends don't appreciate it.
- FIFE: No.
161
00:06:01,059 --> 00:06:03,050
You're just figuring
it out, just like us.
162
00:06:03,051 --> 00:06:05,029
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
163
00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:06,079
I am figuring it out.
164
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,024
Thank you, Brorie. I am.
165
00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:10,061
I'm just figuring it out,
and that's okay.
166
00:06:11,062 --> 00:06:12,074
What do you guys do?
167
00:06:12,075 --> 00:06:13,075
- I work at home. - I'm a DJ.
- Well...
168
00:06:13,076 --> 00:06:14,092
Was I unclear
about my night bikes?
169
00:06:14,093 --> 00:06:17,049
I work for a
single-national corporation
170
00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:19,066
called Associated Strategies.
171
00:06:19,067 --> 00:06:20,053
Moo...
172
00:06:20,054 --> 00:06:21,046
(Laughs)
173
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,075
- Oh, moo...
- I know. Yeah.
174
00:06:22,076 --> 00:06:23,092
Totally, Fife.
I get that.
175
00:06:25,054 --> 00:06:27,053
Moo...
176
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:30,058
Moo...!
(Laughs)
177
00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:32,092
Right? That's a thing, right?
178
00:06:32,093 --> 00:06:34,003
Yeah? Moo?
179
00:06:34,004 --> 00:06:35,075
Schmidt, you don't know...
180
00:06:37,046 --> 00:06:39,029
Jess.
181
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:44,007
(à la Steve Urkel):
Did I do that?
182
00:06:44,008 --> 00:06:46,083
(All laughing)
183
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,052
FIFE: How did you
just come up with that?
184
00:06:49,053 --> 00:06:50,065
Where did you get that?
185
00:06:50,066 --> 00:06:51,075
It just came to me.
186
00:06:51,076 --> 00:06:53,028
Where did that come from?
187
00:06:53,029 --> 00:06:54,050
I just thought of it.
188
00:06:54,051 --> 00:06:56,091
That's how she
casseroles!
189
00:06:56,092 --> 00:06:58,071
What?
190
00:07:05,071 --> 00:07:06,566
Hey, Nana, Pop-Pop.
191
00:07:06,567 --> 00:07:08,042
You missed an unreal
hang last night.
192
00:07:08,043 --> 00:07:10,070
Unreal with a capital "uh."
193
00:07:10,071 --> 00:07:12,057
WINSTON:
Really?
194
00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:14,008
Those kids with
the found furniture
195
00:07:14,009 --> 00:07:16,011
and no TV
because it's cool?
196
00:07:16,012 --> 00:07:17,071
It's a different
world over there.
197
00:07:17,072 --> 00:07:20,066
A world where it's okay to only
have a part-time job.
198
00:07:20,067 --> 00:07:23,074
A world where it's okay
that I'm still finding myself.
199
00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:26,074
A world where I have not one,
but two catchphrases.
200
00:07:26,075 --> 00:07:29,046
- $500.
- (Gasps)
201
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,057
(à la Stephanie Tanner):
How rude!
202
00:07:31,058 --> 00:07:33,070
(All laugh)
203
00:07:33,071 --> 00:07:34,087
How rude!
204
00:07:34,088 --> 00:07:36,045
Just take it!
205
00:07:36,046 --> 00:07:37,088
They think I
made those up.
206
00:07:37,589 --> 00:07:40,037
There's just one tiny hitch.
207
00:07:41,038 --> 00:07:43,061
It's very awkward, and I
don't know how to say it...
208
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,075
They hate Schmidt.
209
00:07:44,076 --> 00:07:47,003
So much.
How did you know?
210
00:07:47,004 --> 00:07:49,069
If I had a dollar for everybody
I couldn't hang out with
211
00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:51,054
because they hated Schmidt,
I'd be rich.
212
00:07:51,055 --> 00:07:55,066
Like, fill my gas tank
all the way up rich.
213
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:57,011
He was all over the map.
214
00:07:57,012 --> 00:07:59,032
He spent 20 minutes
talking about aioli.
215
00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:00,083
Don't worry about it.
I'm on it.
216
00:08:00,084 --> 00:08:02,057
What do you mean,
you're on it?
217
00:08:02,058 --> 00:08:04,057
You're gonna prank him,
aren't you? I-I knew it!
218
00:08:04,058 --> 00:08:06,015
I knew it!
You're gonna prank him.
219
00:08:06,016 --> 00:08:08,023
Hey, can I help you?
I'm really good with pranks?
220
00:08:08,024 --> 00:08:09,065
You may not help
with the pranks.
221
00:08:09,066 --> 00:08:11,021
Why not, man? I'm the best
with the pranks, man.
222
00:08:11,022 --> 00:08:14,050
- They call me "Prank Sinatra."
- No, you call you Prank Sinatra.
223
00:08:14,053 --> 00:08:16,012
- Oh, come... 'Cause I am.
- Winston, you're the worst
224
00:08:16,013 --> 00:08:17,038
at pranks in the whole world.
225
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:18,050
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are!
226
00:08:18,053 --> 00:08:20,095
You either go way too small...
227
00:08:21,096 --> 00:08:22,078
(Whispering):
Hey.
228
00:08:22,079 --> 00:08:26,016
Let's pour a little
juice near her shoe.
229
00:08:26,017 --> 00:08:27,058
...Or you go way too big.
230
00:08:28,059 --> 00:08:32,061
Hey, let's hit her in
the throat with a ski.
231
00:08:32,062 --> 00:08:34,071
You don't have
a pranking sweet spot.
232
00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:37,012
Speaking of...
233
00:08:39,054 --> 00:08:40,054
Are you limping?
234
00:08:40,055 --> 00:08:42,028
My hip is achy.
235
00:08:42,029 --> 00:08:44,048
I wonder if it's your shoes.
Did you try different shoes?
236
00:08:44,049 --> 00:08:46,031
I try on four different
pairs of shoes
237
00:08:46,032 --> 00:08:48,023
with every outfit,
rain or shine. You know that.
238
00:08:48,024 --> 00:08:49,044
What did you do?
239
00:08:49,045 --> 00:08:51,036
Well, he could try on
100 different pairs.
240
00:08:51,037 --> 00:08:52,096
It's not going to matter.
241
00:08:52,097 --> 00:08:55,016
The left heel is an eighth
of an inch shorter
242
00:08:55,017 --> 00:08:56,033
on every single pair.
243
00:08:56,034 --> 00:08:58,045
(Both laugh)
244
00:08:58,046 --> 00:09:00,007
This is so crazy, Nick.
245
00:09:00,008 --> 00:09:02,028
Oh, my God, you know
what we should do?
246
00:09:02,029 --> 00:09:03,062
We should take those shavings,
247
00:09:03,063 --> 00:09:06,057
and then sprinkle them
by his car.
248
00:09:06,058 --> 00:09:07,999
Let me just get this clear.
249
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,054
- Take the little bit of dust
- Yeah, 'cause...
250
00:09:10,057 --> 00:09:14,004
- And go outside and put it near his car?
- Yes.
251
00:09:14,005 --> 00:09:15,054
- That's not a prank.
- Yes, it is.
252
00:09:15,057 --> 00:09:16,999
That's just kind of littering.
253
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,083
- His whole ride to work,
- Okay, you're done.
254
00:09:18,086 --> 00:09:20,024
He'd be thinking, like, "What?"
255
00:09:20,025 --> 00:09:21,058
So we're pranking him
256
00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:23,095
so he thinks
while we're not around, "What?"
257
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,049
It's too small.
258
00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:27,049
You've got to go bigger
than that.
259
00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:28,061
Well, anyway,
260
00:09:28,062 --> 00:09:31,042
- I got to fill this up with pee.
- Ew! Why?
261
00:09:31,043 --> 00:09:33,019
So I can pour it all over
Schmidt's bed
262
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:34,052
and make him think
he's incontinent.
263
00:09:34,053 --> 00:09:35,058
That's disgusting, Nick.
264
00:09:35,059 --> 00:09:38,053
Hey, sometimes up close,
art is ugly.
265
00:09:39,054 --> 00:09:40,049
I got an idea.
266
00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:43,087
Instead of urine, we use acid.
267
00:09:43,088 --> 00:09:45,095
(Laughing):
And put it on his face!
268
00:09:45,096 --> 00:09:47,067
All right?
269
00:09:50,033 --> 00:09:52,027
Jess, do these pants
seem long to you?
270
00:09:52,028 --> 00:09:54,096
Nick picked them up from
the dry cleaner for me today,
271
00:09:54,097 --> 00:09:56,999
and I don't know,
I swear they seem longer.
272
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,999
I think your pants look fine.
273
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,056
Okay, Jess, tonight,
you're obviously gonna want
274
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,073
to follow my lead.
275
00:10:01,074 --> 00:10:03,046
I don't know how
to tell you this...
276
00:10:03,047 --> 00:10:06,020
Actually, I do:
Um, they hate you.
277
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,057
That's crazy.
278
00:10:07,058 --> 00:10:10,049
It is crazy...
how much they hate you.
279
00:10:10,050 --> 00:10:12,070
Watch. Every time
you say something,
280
00:10:12,071 --> 00:10:14,036
they're gonna change
the subject immediately.
281
00:10:14,037 --> 00:10:16,019
That's how you tell
if people hate you.
282
00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:18,010
I'm pretty sure I know how
to crush it with the kids.
283
00:10:18,011 --> 00:10:19,083
(Indistinct chatter
and laughter)
284
00:10:19,084 --> 00:10:21,057
SCHMIDT:
Watch this.
285
00:10:21,058 --> 00:10:22,066
Hey, guys.
286
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:24,003
SCHMIDT:
What up, yo?
287
00:10:24,004 --> 00:10:25,596
Throw your damn hands up.
We hanging out tonight?
288
00:10:26,597 --> 00:10:28,024
Jess, I love your hair.
289
00:10:28,025 --> 00:10:29,562
- It is so good today.
- Yeah!
290
00:10:29,565 --> 00:10:31,049
Thank you!
291
00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:33,029
- Flowy. - Yes.
- Really curly.
292
00:10:33,030 --> 00:10:34,092
What do you guys think
about the length
293
00:10:34,093 --> 00:10:37,038
of my sideburns? It's new.
Daring or gauche?
294
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:41,016
I got my plane ticket
home for Easter.
295
00:10:41,017 --> 00:10:42,054
Thank you
for reminding me, Jess.
296
00:10:42,055 --> 00:10:44,003
Yeah. No, of course.
297
00:10:44,004 --> 00:10:45,054
I've got, like, a
little calendar thing.
298
00:10:45,055 --> 00:10:47,061
You know, I've got
a great, um...
299
00:10:47,062 --> 00:10:52,024
I've got a great
plane ticket guy that you...
300
00:10:52,025 --> 00:10:53,069
We're having another
hang tonight Jess.
301
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,083
Got some chokes, hula hoops,
sitar. You should come over.
302
00:10:55,084 --> 00:10:57,046
- Yeah!
- Yeah, no, like, that's the best idea.
303
00:10:57,049 --> 00:10:58,058
Totally.
304
00:11:06,071 --> 00:11:08,053
(Panting quietly)
305
00:11:08,054 --> 00:11:11,007
(Quietly):
You, too, Schmidt.
306
00:11:11,008 --> 00:11:12,050
(Exhales)
307
00:11:15,029 --> 00:11:16,037
♪ ♪
308
00:11:17,038 --> 00:11:19,029
Oh, hey, I got to...
I got to take this.
309
00:11:20,812 --> 00:11:23,037
Ferguson? Is that you?
310
00:11:23,038 --> 00:11:25,053
(Exhales)
Yeah, t-tonight?
311
00:11:25,054 --> 00:11:28,007
Well, I mean...
312
00:11:28,008 --> 00:11:29,015
I made plans with...
313
00:11:29,016 --> 00:11:30,075
(Sighs)
Well, look,
314
00:11:30,076 --> 00:11:33,028
if that's the comptroller's
time line, then...
315
00:11:33,029 --> 00:11:35,010
that's the comptroller's
time line.
316
00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:36,038
Well, hell, yes,
317
00:11:36,039 --> 00:11:38,070
send a car!
318
00:11:38,071 --> 00:11:41,028
Jess, do you want to
hula-hoop with me
319
00:11:41,029 --> 00:11:42,033
all night-slash-forever?
320
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,020
(Chatter, laughter)
321
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:47,032
Oh, gosh.
322
00:11:48,033 --> 00:11:49,550
They hate me.
323
00:11:55,017 --> 00:11:57,023
Man, I've never seen you work
this hard at anything, ever.
324
00:11:57,024 --> 00:11:58,046
That's because I care so much.
325
00:11:58,547 --> 00:12:01,528
I set an alarm
for 5:00 a.m.
326
00:12:01,529 --> 00:12:04,010
so I could switch Schmidt's
fiber pills with placebos.
327
00:12:04,511 --> 00:12:05,562
Damn it, I want
to care about something
328
00:12:05,563 --> 00:12:07,532
as much as you care
about ruining Schmidt's life.
329
00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:09,575
NICK: And where have you
been all night, young lady?
330
00:12:09,576 --> 00:12:12,511
Jumping around to
your hippity-hop?
331
00:12:12,512 --> 00:12:15,532
Taking your drug pills
and smoking your hash stick?
332
00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:17,592
I'm actually asking-- I'm not
doing a thing right here.
333
00:12:17,593 --> 00:12:19,570
Those guys are so much fun.
334
00:12:19,571 --> 00:12:21,578
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I've been up
335
00:12:21,579 --> 00:12:26,524
for 48 hours, so I'm gonna just
sleep off an ass-ton of quinoa.
336
00:12:26,525 --> 00:12:28,565
No, there's no time for sleep!
Guys, here's what we got to do.
337
00:12:28,566 --> 00:12:30,558
We got to find the passion
that we have in life,
338
00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,511
and we got to hold on to it.
339
00:12:32,512 --> 00:12:33,571
- You're so right.
- Just like--
340
00:12:33,574 --> 00:12:35,520
I can't believe
I'm saying this--
341
00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:36,567
just like Nick Miller.
342
00:12:36,568 --> 00:12:38,511
Why, look at that.
343
00:12:38,512 --> 00:12:39,531
I've never been an
inspiration before.
344
00:12:39,532 --> 00:12:40,523
I don't like it.
345
00:12:40,524 --> 00:12:41,546
It's too much responsibility.
346
00:12:41,547 --> 00:12:43,537
Ooh, ay-ay-ay.
347
00:12:43,538 --> 00:12:45,532
I am cons-to-the-pizzo.
348
00:12:45,533 --> 00:12:46,532
Hmm?
349
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,516
Constipated.
350
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,532
I'm constipated.
351
00:12:50,533 --> 00:12:52,516
Surprising.
352
00:12:52,517 --> 00:12:54,591
Here, sit down,
relax, watch some TV.
353
00:12:54,592 --> 00:12:56,566
What's the chair
doing over here?
354
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,574
Just moved it.
355
00:12:58,575 --> 00:13:02,504
(Sighing):
Oh... gosh.
356
00:13:02,592 --> 00:13:05,532
(TV audio playing quietly)
357
00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:06,571
Turn it down, man!
Turn it down!
358
00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:08,550
- Turn it... What?
- It's too loud!
359
00:13:08,553 --> 00:13:10,582
Schmidt, you're blasting
the TV, you maniac!
360
00:13:10,583 --> 00:13:12,528
You can hear that?
361
00:13:12,529 --> 00:13:14,591
It's blasting, Schmidt!
Jess is trying to sleep!
362
00:13:14,592 --> 00:13:17,529
- You can hear this?
- Uh, yes.
363
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,596
Well, you know what,
you were right.
364
00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:21,499
They hate me, and I
know why they hate me, too.
365
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,554
It's because I'm old, and
they're the future of humanity,
366
00:13:23,555 --> 00:13:25,591
a pan-ethnic,
pan-sexual hive mind,
367
00:13:25,592 --> 00:13:28,528
and they want nothing
to do with me.
368
00:13:28,529 --> 00:13:29,536
They're not that great, Schmidt.
369
00:13:29,537 --> 00:13:30,583
Last night,
Chaz and Sutton
370
00:13:30,584 --> 00:13:32,592
- got in a fight.
- A lovers' quarrel?
371
00:13:32,595 --> 00:13:34,520
Sutton and Chaz
are not a couple.
372
00:13:34,521 --> 00:13:36,537
Chaz is with Fife;
Brorie's with, uh...
373
00:13:36,538 --> 00:13:38,529
- the other broad.
- Actually,
374
00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:40,523
Brorie, Sutton and Fife
are in a triad,
375
00:13:40,524 --> 00:13:41,588
and Chaz is a floater.
376
00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:43,574
They're poly-amorous?
Damn it!
377
00:13:43,575 --> 00:13:45,554
(Sighs)
Jess, you've got to help me
378
00:13:45,555 --> 00:13:48,575
- help them forget how old I am.
- (Laughs) You're not old.
379
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,546
- Then how do you explain this?
- Use your legs, buddy.
380
00:13:50,549 --> 00:13:53,571
- Let me show you something.
- Gonna hurt your back.
381
00:13:55,596 --> 00:13:59,528
Look at this--
I'm freaking shrinking!
382
00:13:59,529 --> 00:14:01,519
I took a photo of the wall,
shrunk it down,
383
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,581
made a copy
at an architect's office.
384
00:14:02,582 --> 00:14:04,554
From there,
it was just your basic
385
00:14:04,555 --> 00:14:06,520
spackle-and-silkscreen job.
386
00:14:06,521 --> 00:14:08,537
I don't care, but... yay.
387
00:14:08,538 --> 00:14:10,546
It's a weird life,
but it's where I'm at right now.
388
00:14:10,547 --> 00:14:11,567
Okay.
389
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:15,574
(Groans)
390
00:14:15,575 --> 00:14:18,516
(Sighs) Jess...
this is the hardest thing
391
00:14:18,517 --> 00:14:19,558
I've ever had to say.
392
00:14:20,558 --> 00:14:22,521
Please help me be cool.
393
00:14:24,529 --> 00:14:26,528
Say that one more time.
394
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:29,557
Oh. Visor-wearing Jess,
395
00:14:29,558 --> 00:14:31,595
will you please help me be cool?
396
00:14:31,596 --> 00:14:34,575
♪ ♪
397
00:14:36,538 --> 00:14:37,579
Okay, listen up,
398
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:39,520
I got 3.5 years to live.
399
00:14:39,521 --> 00:14:41,503
I can't be an
assistant any more.
400
00:14:41,504 --> 00:14:43,503
I don't want to die.
I want to work.
401
00:14:43,504 --> 00:14:44,517
Honestly, I want to work here.
402
00:14:44,518 --> 00:14:46,541
But I got to
follow my passion,
403
00:14:46,542 --> 00:14:49,516
much like a running back
would want
404
00:14:49,517 --> 00:14:52,574
when given the ball,
and in the game of life,
405
00:14:52,575 --> 00:14:54,528
this job is the pigskin.
406
00:14:54,529 --> 00:14:56,583
And damn it,
I'm in the red zone!
407
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,503
And in summation, I feel...
408
00:15:02,504 --> 00:15:05,528
very good about
what I just said.
409
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:07,521
Hopefully, you do, too.
410
00:15:10,504 --> 00:15:11,537
♪ ♪
411
00:15:11,538 --> 00:15:13,532
(Door opens)
412
00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:16,512
Who wants to start
an arcade fire?
413
00:15:17,579 --> 00:15:19,524
Schmidt.
414
00:15:19,525 --> 00:15:21,562
- What?
- What are you doing? This is not
415
00:15:21,565 --> 00:15:23,520
the outfit we
talked about.
416
00:15:23,521 --> 00:15:25,525
- What? Rock and roll.
- You way overshot it.
417
00:15:25,528 --> 00:15:27,557
Look at that.
I'm being ironic.
418
00:15:27,558 --> 00:15:29,515
That's not ironic;
That's just a bad pun.
419
00:15:29,516 --> 00:15:30,565
And what are
you doing here?
420
00:15:30,566 --> 00:15:32,542
Your arms are hot,
but your neck is cold?
421
00:15:32,543 --> 00:15:34,520
SCHMIDT:
Hey, look at me.
422
00:15:34,521 --> 00:15:35,567
If you guys keep
a tight core,
423
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:39,524
you can... your burpees
can look like this, too.
424
00:15:39,525 --> 00:15:40,527
When's the Olympics?
Right, guys?
425
00:15:40,528 --> 00:15:41,560
I'm gonna set
a PR tonight.
426
00:15:41,561 --> 00:15:43,517
Well, you know,
he's not... he's not...
427
00:15:43,518 --> 00:15:45,517
Parkour.
428
00:15:46,508 --> 00:15:49,554
- Oh!
- Oh!
429
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:51,511
You got beer on her, man.
430
00:15:51,512 --> 00:15:53,561
(Quietly):
Did I do that?
431
00:15:53,562 --> 00:15:55,521
Don't worry, my mom
can throw that dress in
432
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,541
with my laundry
next time she's here.
433
00:15:57,542 --> 00:15:59,549
(Laughing): Sorry.
Your mom does your laundry?
434
00:15:59,550 --> 00:16:01,525
Washer-dryer kind of
freaks me out, you know?
435
00:16:01,526 --> 00:16:03,545
It's just, like, eh...
436
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,503
washa-washa-washa,
437
00:16:05,504 --> 00:16:07,525
- guh-guh, guh-guh, uh-guh-guh-guh.
- On the noise.
438
00:16:07,526 --> 00:16:08,548
Okay, you know what?
It's fine.
439
00:16:08,549 --> 00:16:09,554
I'll-I'll wash it myself.
440
00:16:09,555 --> 00:16:11,562
- All right.
- Thank you, though.
441
00:16:11,565 --> 00:16:13,566
SUTTON: She's so
iconoclastic and modern.
442
00:16:13,567 --> 00:16:15,517
And she even got
our dishwasher to work.
443
00:16:15,518 --> 00:16:16,592
- I remember.
- JESS: You know,
444
00:16:16,595 --> 00:16:19,520
I mean, I just...
it wasn't that big a deal.
445
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,574
It was just... I just...
I just turned it on.
446
00:16:21,575 --> 00:16:23,595
There was a button
that said "on."
447
00:16:23,596 --> 00:16:26,511
It's weird how the dishwasher
just lives under the counter.
448
00:16:26,512 --> 00:16:28,520
How come there's
no dish-dryer?
449
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,583
FIFE:
Or un-washer.
450
00:16:29,584 --> 00:16:32,537
Oh, my God, you guys, are
we the dish un-washers?
451
00:16:32,538 --> 00:16:34,545
CHAZ: Why don't we
just move to Prague?
452
00:16:34,546 --> 00:16:36,532
I need to focus
on my art.
453
00:16:36,533 --> 00:16:38,561
You can totally focus
on your art in Prague.
454
00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:40,558
CHAZ: If we move
to Prague, should I
455
00:16:40,559 --> 00:16:42,520
paint my nails
black again?
456
00:16:42,521 --> 00:16:44,503
Hey, you guys, um...
457
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,595
I can't hang out
with you any more.
458
00:16:46,596 --> 00:16:48,525
- Why not?
- Because...
459
00:16:48,528 --> 00:16:50,566
Our entire relationship's
built on a lie.
460
00:16:50,567 --> 00:16:52,499
Jess, what are you
talking about?
461
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,583
I did not make up...
462
00:16:53,584 --> 00:16:56,575
- "Did I do that?"
- Jess, please don't...
463
00:16:56,578 --> 00:16:58,562
- I have to introduce you to a...
- Don't do it.
464
00:16:58,565 --> 00:17:01,524
Little, adorable
African-American nerd.
465
00:17:01,525 --> 00:17:03,524
Don't press the
button. Don't...
466
00:17:03,525 --> 00:17:04,558
(Electronic tones play)
467
00:17:04,559 --> 00:17:06,524
SCHMIDT:
Jess, why would you
468
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:07,524
do this to us?
469
00:17:07,525 --> 00:17:09,542
Who's "Steve Urclee"?
470
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,007
Jess, what the
hell was that?
471
00:17:16,008 --> 00:17:17,040
You were supposed to
teach me how to be cool.
472
00:17:17,041 --> 00:17:19,027
You did a terrible job.
Look what I'm wearing.
473
00:17:19,028 --> 00:17:21,002
You didn't listen
to anything I said!
474
00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:22,579
I told you to stop
trying so hard.
475
00:17:22,580 --> 00:17:24,557
I will never stop trying.
476
00:17:24,558 --> 00:17:26,538
I don't care if I have
to do a billion burpees.
477
00:17:26,539 --> 00:17:28,570
That is how you crush--
you never give up.
478
00:17:28,571 --> 00:17:31,516
That is the difference
between me and you, Jess.
479
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,499
(Sighs)
480
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,521
Is that what you think?
You think I just gave up?
481
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,517
- Well...
- I was fired, Schmidt.
482
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,557
Do you think I wanted
to stop teaching?
483
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,536
That's why I liked hanging
out with those kids--
484
00:17:41,537 --> 00:17:43,508
'cause they weren't
judging me all the time
485
00:17:43,509 --> 00:17:45,499
for not crushing it.
486
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,567
- Okay...
- Do you think that I want to work
487
00:17:46,570 --> 00:17:48,524
At the Casserole Shanty?
488
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:51,499
Do you know what the people
I work with call it?
489
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,561
The Ass-erole Shanty.
490
00:17:53,562 --> 00:17:56,517
(Both laugh softly)
491
00:17:58,533 --> 00:17:59,567
Just don't stop teaching.
492
00:18:00,583 --> 00:18:02,591
I mean, there's
got to be something.
493
00:18:02,592 --> 00:18:05,592
- I don't know, driver's ed, CPR...
- Uh...
494
00:18:05,595 --> 00:18:07,566
A smile class.
495
00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:09,553
My life sucks so
much right now.
496
00:18:10,054 --> 00:18:12,503
But at least I'm not 23.
497
00:18:12,504 --> 00:18:13,550
At least I own
a trash can.
498
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:17,091
At least I can
legally rent a car.
499
00:18:17,092 --> 00:18:20,503
At least I don't live in
a loft with three other...
500
00:18:20,504 --> 00:18:21,546
But you live with us.
501
00:18:21,547 --> 00:18:23,525
- But I live you with guys.
- (Knocking)
502
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,588
Jess?
503
00:18:28,504 --> 00:18:29,503
We don't care
504
00:18:29,504 --> 00:18:30,508
if you stole
your catchphrase
505
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:32,503
from some low-budget
Web series.
506
00:18:32,504 --> 00:18:34,541
We still want
to hang out.
507
00:18:34,542 --> 00:18:36,587
(Coughing loudly, spits)
508
00:18:36,588 --> 00:18:38,528
(Sniffs, clears throat)
509
00:18:38,529 --> 00:18:41,528
Don't trust
your government, kids.
510
00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:43,519
Oh, my God, it's the
old man from the stairs.
511
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,571
I thought he died.
512
00:18:44,572 --> 00:18:46,587
Let's get out of here
before his robe opens.
513
00:18:46,588 --> 00:18:50,583
- He's gonna get his old on you! Get out while you can!
- Hey, hey, Charles,
514
00:18:50,584 --> 00:18:52,515
The decrepit thing
that just walked by,
515
00:18:52,516 --> 00:18:53,531
now, that is old, okay?
516
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:54,588
And you can hate
him for being old,
517
00:18:54,589 --> 00:18:57,007
but you cannot hate me.
518
00:18:57,008 --> 00:18:57,596
We don't hate you for being old.
519
00:18:57,597 --> 00:19:00,570
We hate you 'cause you're
a viciously unbearable ass-head.
520
00:19:01,571 --> 00:19:02,991
Seriously?
521
00:19:03,092 --> 00:19:06,507
(Sighs) That's...
Come here, that's...
522
00:19:06,508 --> 00:19:07,592
Get off! Ass-head!
523
00:19:07,593 --> 00:19:10,591
Ass-head! Yeah!
524
00:19:10,592 --> 00:19:12,554
- I'm not gonna drink it all.
- Guys,
525
00:19:12,557 --> 00:19:14,532
I... am an ass-head.
526
00:19:14,533 --> 00:19:16,502
They don't hate me
because I'm old.
527
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:17,531
They hate me
because of my personality.
528
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:19,525
I can totally change
my personality.
529
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:22,587
Congratulations, Schmidt,
that is... that's weird news.
530
00:19:23,588 --> 00:19:24,561
WINSTON:
Ladies and gentlemen,
531
00:19:24,562 --> 00:19:27,499
you are looking
at a brand-new man.
532
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,533
A man who has proved
533
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,566
so capable of talking
about so little
534
00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:32,528
for so long...
535
00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:35,520
is now the producer
of his very own
536
00:19:35,521 --> 00:19:37,528
sports talk show.
537
00:19:37,529 --> 00:19:38,588
- No way!
- What?!
538
00:19:38,591 --> 00:19:40,507
That's right.
That's right.
539
00:19:40,508 --> 00:19:42,508
- Yeah, baby!
- It's halftime in America!
540
00:19:42,509 --> 00:19:43,550
- Man, that's amazing!
- (Laughing)
541
00:19:43,551 --> 00:19:44,588
Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
542
00:19:45,089 --> 00:19:48,561
2:35 to 5:35 a.m.
543
00:19:49,562 --> 00:19:50,582
Boom! Prime time
for truckers!
544
00:19:50,583 --> 00:19:52,587
(Imitates truck horn blowing)
545
00:19:52,588 --> 00:19:54,562
- That's awesome. He's got something.
- Yes.
546
00:19:54,565 --> 00:19:57,499
In other news,
I just spent three days
547
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,527
trying to impress people
who don't own bed frames.
548
00:19:59,528 --> 00:20:00,588
Well, if it makes
you feel any better,
549
00:20:00,589 --> 00:20:02,541
I spent the
last three days
550
00:20:02,542 --> 00:20:03,579
pouring urine on a
grown man's sheets.
551
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:06,507
Can you imagine how much
we would get done
552
00:20:06,508 --> 00:20:07,590
if we just focused
our energy
553
00:20:07,591 --> 00:20:09,583
onto something
a little bit more worthwhile?
554
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:12,500
- Not to mention the money we would save.
- I know.
555
00:20:12,501 --> 00:20:13,579
Wait, what money?
556
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,507
I mean, I've been running
the numbers on this,
557
00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:17,588
but, you know,
I think I spent...
558
00:20:17,589 --> 00:20:20,524
you know,
$1,200 to $1,300.
559
00:20:20,525 --> 00:20:22,500
- What?!
- on these pranks, yeah.
560
00:20:22,503 --> 00:20:24,500
- What?!
- And I was under- budget, so...
561
00:20:24,503 --> 00:20:25,516
Under-budget?
562
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,498
What, you think fake
contact lenses are free?
563
00:20:27,499 --> 00:20:28,529
- They are not, sister.
- Nick, you don't
564
00:20:28,530 --> 00:20:29,544
have that
kind of money.
565
00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:30,552
I know I don't.
566
00:20:30,553 --> 00:20:31,577
Where are you gonna
get that from?
567
00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:33,531
Doesn't matter.
I had to prank Schmidt.
568
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:34,550
(Laughing):
And I did.
569
00:20:36,525 --> 00:20:38,524
(Exhales)
Holy crap.
570
00:20:38,525 --> 00:20:40,579
- I need a real job.
- Yeah, you do.
571
00:20:42,512 --> 00:20:43,579
Don't you ever prank me!
572
00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:46,499
Of course. You got it.
573
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:49,516
You'll never see it coming.
574
00:20:49,517 --> 00:20:50,565
This is like
the end of a horror movie.
575
00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:52,531
Or the beginning
of a pranking movie.
576
00:20:52,532 --> 00:20:53,533
There are no pranking movies.
577
00:20:53,534 --> 00:20:56,545
Yet. Get out of here.
578
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:59,546
(Whispers):
You'll never see it coming.
579
00:21:02,592 --> 00:21:04,095
This prescription is blurry.
580
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,541
Hi, Schmidt.
581
00:21:06,042 --> 00:21:07,578
Is that you in tailored,
grown-up clothing?
582
00:21:07,579 --> 00:21:09,554
Yeah. Mama's gonna
ride this blazer
583
00:21:09,555 --> 00:21:12,508
- all the way to a tutoring job.
- Thank goodness.
584
00:21:12,509 --> 00:21:14,088
I almost thought I was gonna
have to loan you money.
585
00:21:14,089 --> 00:21:17,499
Well, I said tutoring job,
not venture capitalist.
586
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:18,575
- Proud of you nonetheless.
- Thanks.
587
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:21,562
(Sighs quietly)
588
00:21:24,092 --> 00:21:25,070
What the hell?
589
00:21:25,071 --> 00:21:28,432
Okay. All right, Nick,
very funny.
590
00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:30,020
Quite the prankster you are.
591
00:21:30,521 --> 00:21:31,507
Ha!
592
00:21:31,508 --> 00:21:33,504
I'm gonna hit your ass
with a ski!
593
00:21:33,505 --> 00:21:35,579
- Winston?
- Get some.
594
00:21:36,505 --> 00:21:40,579
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com