1
00:00:03,750 --> 00:00:07,285
(knocking)
2
00:00:07,353 --> 00:00:08,553
Are you ready to run?
3
00:00:08,620 --> 00:00:09,970
I have my playlist
all ready.
4
00:00:09,972 --> 00:00:12,408
Actually, it's
Diane Keaton's autobiography,
5
00:00:12,476 --> 00:00:13,942
and she just filmed
First Wives Club,
6
00:00:14,010 --> 00:00:15,011
and it's getting me pumped!
7
00:00:15,079 --> 00:00:16,879
I totally forgot
we were going to run today.
8
00:00:16,947 --> 00:00:18,681
I e-mailed you,
like, three times.
9
00:00:18,749 --> 00:00:20,349
Maybe you typed
"gmoil" again.
10
00:00:20,417 --> 00:00:22,083
No more excuses--
we have to train.
11
00:00:22,151 --> 00:00:23,451
We signed up
for this charity run
12
00:00:23,519 --> 00:00:24,519
and now we have to do it.
13
00:00:24,587 --> 00:00:26,088
Why can't we just
donate the money?
14
00:00:26,155 --> 00:00:28,523
Why do we have to run
the six miles first?
15
00:00:28,591 --> 00:00:30,358
That's a good point,
but, no, you're gonna go...
16
00:00:30,426 --> 00:00:31,459
Oh, no, Jess,
look, I can't go.
17
00:00:31,527 --> 00:00:33,561
I am super hungover
right now.
18
00:00:33,630 --> 00:00:35,796
Plus, Masha had
a bit of a crisis.
19
00:00:35,864 --> 00:00:37,565
She accidentally
ate a cookie.
20
00:00:37,633 --> 00:00:39,000
- What?
- Because she fell on it.
21
00:00:39,067 --> 00:00:40,167
I am devastated.
22
00:00:40,235 --> 00:00:42,069
She is devastated.
23
00:00:42,137 --> 00:00:43,671
Well, why don't you
come running with us?
24
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,606
- No, she definitely can't.
- You can run off that cookie.
25
00:00:45,674 --> 00:00:47,174
- It's great.
- You know what? We will
26
00:00:47,242 --> 00:00:49,110
- do it tomorrow, I promise.
- It's more money for charity.
27
00:00:49,177 --> 00:00:50,711
It'll be so fun.
28
00:00:52,647 --> 00:00:53,480
(gasps)
29
00:00:53,548 --> 00:00:55,648
I mean, that was
a close one.
30
00:00:55,715 --> 00:00:56,815
Good thing
I'm a quiet breather.
31
00:00:56,883 --> 00:00:57,817
I learned that as a kid
32
00:00:57,884 --> 00:00:58,918
playing "Who passed out?"
with my mom.
33
00:00:58,986 --> 00:00:59,919
(chuckles)
34
00:00:59,987 --> 00:01:01,387
My mom always won.
35
00:01:01,455 --> 00:01:04,290
Jew in the couch,
Jew in the couch.
36
00:01:04,358 --> 00:01:05,692
(giggles)
37
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,894
Nadia, American manners.
38
00:01:07,962 --> 00:01:08,895
Sorry.
39
00:01:08,963 --> 00:01:11,596
Jew-Jew person in couch.
40
00:01:13,332 --> 00:01:14,933
She's not wrong.
41
00:01:15,001 --> 00:01:17,836
♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ Who's that girl? ♪
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
42
00:01:17,837 --> 00:01:19,538
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
43
00:01:19,539 --> 00:01:20,873
♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ It's Jess. ♪
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
44
00:01:22,475 --> 00:01:23,508
(door opens)
45
00:01:23,576 --> 00:01:25,310
WOMAN:
Okay, bye, Nick.
46
00:01:25,378 --> 00:01:27,712
So you'll call me?
47
00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:30,214
Um, yeah, yeah,
I'll definitely...
48
00:01:30,282 --> 00:01:31,215
(coughing)
49
00:01:31,283 --> 00:01:32,383
Are you, are you okay?
50
00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:33,484
I'm gonna call you.
51
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,619
(coughing)
Um, okay.
52
00:01:35,688 --> 00:01:37,421
Do you hike?
Do you hike?
53
00:01:37,489 --> 00:01:38,556
(coughing)
54
00:01:38,623 --> 00:01:40,524
- Okay, I...
- This was fun.
55
00:01:40,592 --> 00:01:43,293
Okay, I'll call you tonight
to make sure you're okay?
56
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,360
Please.
57
00:01:44,428 --> 00:01:46,462
(coughing)
58
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,001
That was ridiculous.
59
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,402
I can't do this, Winston.
60
00:01:52,469 --> 00:01:53,636
I don't know
how to sleep
61
00:01:53,705 --> 00:01:55,338
with 21-year-old girls,
62
00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:56,740
and for the last couple weeks,
that's all
63
00:01:56,808 --> 00:01:58,107
I've been doing.
64
00:01:58,175 --> 00:01:59,541
What's going on with you?
Are you okay?
65
00:01:59,609 --> 00:02:01,043
I saw something
a few days ago.
66
00:02:01,611 --> 00:02:02,878
Now, I've been
sworn to secrecy,
67
00:02:02,946 --> 00:02:05,480
- but it is just too big.
- You know I can't keep a secret,
68
00:02:05,548 --> 00:02:07,883
- I can't lie, Winston. You saw me with
that girl. - Don't leave me like this.
69
00:02:07,951 --> 00:02:09,151
Even thinking
about keeping a secret
70
00:02:09,219 --> 00:02:11,821
turns my back
into a Slip 'n Slide.
71
00:02:11,888 --> 00:02:13,689
Come on, man, you got to help
me out, okay? I'm dying.
72
00:02:13,756 --> 00:02:15,690
- I don't want to know.
- Hey, hey, hey, come on, come on...
73
00:02:15,758 --> 00:02:17,759
- I'm dying! I'm dying, man!
- I don't want to know.
74
00:02:17,827 --> 00:02:19,194
I don't want to know!
75
00:02:19,261 --> 00:02:21,196
Cece and Schmidt are
sleeping together!
76
00:02:25,434 --> 00:02:27,936
Ew.
77
00:02:28,003 --> 00:02:29,637
(groans)
78
00:02:34,307 --> 00:02:35,342
It's happening
79
00:02:35,409 --> 00:02:36,877
- under our roof.
- No.
80
00:02:36,945 --> 00:02:37,477
- Yes.
- No.
81
00:02:37,545 --> 00:02:38,511
Yes!
82
00:02:38,579 --> 00:02:39,880
This makes me
hate things.
83
00:02:39,948 --> 00:02:42,116
I know, man.
It's like up is down.
84
00:02:42,183 --> 00:02:43,683
Up is the new down, man.
85
00:02:43,752 --> 00:02:46,418
Now my back is sweating.
86
00:02:46,486 --> 00:02:47,720
All right, who knows?
87
00:02:47,788 --> 00:02:48,621
Everybody
but Jess.
88
00:02:49,522 --> 00:02:50,489
Hey.
89
00:02:51,307 --> 00:02:52,223
Hey, Jess.
90
00:02:52,225 --> 00:02:53,259
We're just hanging out
in the hallway.
91
00:02:53,326 --> 00:02:54,593
What's going on?
Nothing's going on.
92
00:02:54,661 --> 00:02:55,895
Yeah, actually,
I'm really annoyed.
93
00:02:55,963 --> 00:02:57,496
Cece bailed on me again.
We were supposed
94
00:02:57,564 --> 00:02:58,731
to train for that race
this weekend.
95
00:02:58,799 --> 00:03:01,367
That is so Cece.
96
00:03:01,434 --> 00:03:02,968
I know... I mean,
97
00:03:03,535 --> 00:03:06,104
and the weird thing is that
she said she was hungover,
98
00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:08,640
but last night she said
she didn't want to go out.
99
00:03:10,209 --> 00:03:11,810
Maybe she had a guy over.
100
00:03:11,878 --> 00:03:13,611
Not like that--
I didn't say anything.
101
00:03:13,679 --> 00:03:15,814
If you think about what I said,
I didn't say anything.
102
00:03:16,632 --> 00:03:17,748
You have a secret.
103
00:03:18,116 --> 00:03:19,183
- You have a secret.
- No, you have a secret.
104
00:03:19,251 --> 00:03:20,717
- Turn around.
- You turn around.
105
00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:21,786
- Let me see your back.
- Please don't.
106
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:24,121
J- ust be cool about...
- Ew, gross.
107
00:03:24,189 --> 00:03:26,723
J'accuse, Miller,
j'accuse.
108
00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:27,658
You fold
like a lawn chair.
109
00:03:27,725 --> 00:03:29,927
Fold, fold.
110
00:03:29,995 --> 00:03:31,695
(mumbling rapidly) Yes, you-- fold,
fold, fold, fold, fold, fold.
111
00:03:31,763 --> 00:03:33,164
Winston told me Cece and Schmidt
are sleeping together!
112
00:03:33,231 --> 00:03:34,130
- Come on, man!
- What?!
113
00:03:34,198 --> 00:03:37,300
Oh, my God.
114
00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:38,601
They know,
Schmidt.
115
00:03:38,669 --> 00:03:39,702
Sweatback?
116
00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:41,805
You told Sweatback?
Come on, Winston.
117
00:03:42,372 --> 00:03:43,639
- Jess.
- God.
118
00:03:43,707 --> 00:03:48,144
I am so sorry that you had
to hear about this like this.
119
00:03:48,212 --> 00:03:50,478
But, I mean, can we just take
a moment to celebrate me?
120
00:03:50,546 --> 00:03:51,880
Schmidtty really did it
this time.
121
00:03:51,948 --> 00:03:53,548
I mean,
I'm having Indian every night.
122
00:03:53,616 --> 00:03:55,383
- No, no!
- Whoa, whoa!
123
00:03:55,451 --> 00:03:56,584
(Jess screaming)
124
00:04:00,356 --> 00:04:02,724
Jess, I'm really sorry
you found out this way,
125
00:04:02,792 --> 00:04:03,859
okay, but trust
me, it wasn't
126
00:04:03,927 --> 00:04:06,360
some big conspiracy.
127
00:04:06,428 --> 00:04:08,395
It was just something that happened
and then it got out of control,
128
00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:09,831
sort of like
poison oak
129
00:04:09,898 --> 00:04:11,498
and I just couldn't
stop scratching it.
130
00:04:11,566 --> 00:04:12,700
Cece started it.
131
00:04:12,767 --> 00:04:15,169
That's...
132
00:04:15,737 --> 00:04:16,904
I did, I started it.
133
00:04:16,972 --> 00:04:19,606
Why, Cece? Are you trying
to get back at your parents?
134
00:04:19,674 --> 00:04:20,741
When did it start?
135
00:04:20,809 --> 00:04:22,275
Jess, I want
to emphasize
136
00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:23,944
that we are
not dating.
137
00:04:24,011 --> 00:04:25,145
I can't stress
that enough.
138
00:04:25,213 --> 00:04:26,512
This is
just sex.
139
00:04:26,580 --> 00:04:27,848
Mm-hmm, when did it start?
140
00:04:27,915 --> 00:04:32,219
1:03 a.m., February 15,
141
00:04:32,286 --> 00:04:36,156
right on schedule.
142
00:04:36,224 --> 00:04:37,390
Two months ago.
143
00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:38,958
Two months?
144
00:04:39,025 --> 00:04:40,926
Two moons have passed
since you started doing it?
145
00:04:40,994 --> 00:04:42,361
Why do you start talking
like a Native American
146
00:04:42,428 --> 00:04:43,362
when you get angry?
147
00:04:43,429 --> 00:04:44,696
Two moons have passed!
148
00:04:44,764 --> 00:04:46,298
Just a quick sidebar.
149
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:47,967
Uh, we've done it in every
room of the apartment.
150
00:04:48,034 --> 00:04:49,634
Ugh, even my room?
151
00:04:49,702 --> 00:04:51,237
- Just the one time.
- Oh, God.
152
00:04:51,304 --> 00:04:52,872
(grunts)
How long have you known?
153
00:04:53,239 --> 00:04:54,072
A few days.
154
00:04:54,139 --> 00:04:55,539
- You didn't tell me either?
- Jess,
155
00:04:55,607 --> 00:04:57,708
just as a reminder, I told you
seconds after I found out.
156
00:04:57,776 --> 00:05:00,511
Because you're weak, Nick, weak.
157
00:05:00,579 --> 00:05:02,347
Okay, I agree.
Just chill out. Stop yelling.
158
00:05:02,414 --> 00:05:04,682
Jess, I want to tell
you everything.
159
00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:05,783
What do you
want to know?
160
00:05:05,851 --> 00:05:07,385
I don't know, Cece.
How would I know
161
00:05:07,452 --> 00:05:08,452
if you're telling
the truth?
162
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:09,320
SCHMIDT:
Come on, Jess.
163
00:05:09,388 --> 00:05:10,187
Are you seriously mad?
164
00:05:10,255 --> 00:05:11,688
(scoffs)
165
00:05:11,756 --> 00:05:14,791
No, no, I'm not.
166
00:05:14,859 --> 00:05:16,693
I'm really glad
you two are having fun.
167
00:05:18,596 --> 00:05:21,498
How cool is that?
168
00:05:24,133 --> 00:05:25,135
For what it's worth
169
00:05:25,203 --> 00:05:27,270
I think what I did
was really brave.
170
00:05:29,072 --> 00:05:30,306
Oh.
171
00:05:30,374 --> 00:05:31,340
Get off of me.
172
00:05:31,408 --> 00:05:33,276
Yeah.
173
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:38,410
Hey, have you guys seen a scarf?
174
00:05:38,978 --> 00:05:40,344
Holly said she left it out here.
175
00:05:40,412 --> 00:05:41,746
HOLLY:
It's my favorite scarf
176
00:05:41,814 --> 00:05:43,581
because it's a circle,
so you never have to think
177
00:05:43,649 --> 00:05:45,984
about which end goes
on the right or the left.
178
00:05:46,051 --> 00:05:47,585
My therapist
gave it to me.
179
00:05:47,653 --> 00:05:49,286
She's Asian, but
she's the nicest.
180
00:05:49,354 --> 00:05:52,756
(phone ringing)
181
00:05:52,824 --> 00:05:53,757
Who is that?
182
00:05:53,825 --> 00:05:55,291
Nobody, just...
183
00:05:55,359 --> 00:05:57,661
Who was that?
184
00:05:57,729 --> 00:05:59,262
Was it that
stuck-up bitch
185
00:05:59,330 --> 00:06:00,931
from last night
with the fake hand?
186
00:06:00,999 --> 00:06:02,465
- Whoa.
NICK: No, it was no one.
187
00:06:02,533 --> 00:06:04,635
It was just...
it was just beep-beep-beep.
188
00:06:04,702 --> 00:06:05,636
Was...
189
00:06:05,703 --> 00:06:07,337
I'm so old.
190
00:06:07,404 --> 00:06:09,471
I don't even know
how to use a cell phone.
191
00:06:09,539 --> 00:06:10,539
Come on.
Let's go clubbing.
192
00:06:10,607 --> 00:06:11,741
You want to go clubbing?
193
00:06:11,808 --> 00:06:12,908
HOLLY:
Show me the phone.
194
00:06:12,976 --> 00:06:14,309
Let's go back to when
we were having fun.
195
00:06:14,377 --> 00:06:16,211
- Let me see the phone.
- No, just chill out.
196
00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:17,913
- Let me see your phone.
- No!
197
00:06:19,249 --> 00:06:20,415
Smooth.
198
00:06:22,719 --> 00:06:23,652
I'll call you.
199
00:06:23,719 --> 00:06:24,919
Nick, are you kid...?
200
00:06:24,987 --> 00:06:26,254
What, you keep the ringer on?
201
00:06:26,321 --> 00:06:28,056
Amateur move, man.
202
00:06:28,124 --> 00:06:29,691
Yeah, I'm just in over my head.
203
00:06:29,759 --> 00:06:32,827
Schmidt, I hate asking you this,
but how do you do this?
204
00:06:32,895 --> 00:06:34,495
Oh, glory be, are you
asking for my help?
205
00:06:34,563 --> 00:06:36,031
Oh, I-I'm flattered.
206
00:06:36,098 --> 00:06:37,932
Pull up, pull up, Nick.
Yank back on that yoke.
207
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,233
We have to face
the reality of the situation.
208
00:06:40,301 --> 00:06:43,170
Schmidt has been having
consensual sex with Cece
209
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,105
and lying about it.
210
00:06:45,173 --> 00:06:46,206
He's better
211
00:06:46,274 --> 00:06:47,675
than us at this, Winston,
212
00:06:47,742 --> 00:06:49,710
and I hate it as much as you do,
213
00:06:49,778 --> 00:06:50,678
and, Schmidt, I
hate saying this,
214
00:06:50,745 --> 00:06:51,912
but I might...
215
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:54,648
I might respect you.
216
00:06:54,716 --> 00:06:56,182
Thank you
for saying that.
217
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,984
You've come a long way, man.
218
00:06:58,052 --> 00:06:59,318
Since my 20s,
I've had
219
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,054
a string of lesser paramours
220
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,388
which,
like weathered
221
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,591
stone steps, have led me
to the Hindu temple,
222
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:08,127
a.k.a. Cece,
because she's Indian.
223
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,563
(both moaning)
224
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:12,664
You don't have to be
so gentle with me.
225
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,099
(both grunting)
226
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,500
All right, oh, that's
how I like it, baby.
227
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:17,635
All right.
228
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:21,307
Sex, man.
It's the real stuff.
229
00:07:22,374 --> 00:07:24,209
I don't know
that I should help you.
230
00:07:24,276 --> 00:07:25,677
You're not a player.
231
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:27,245
You're a clingy
serial monogamist
232
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:30,948
with-- well, with a
terrible metabolism.
233
00:07:31,016 --> 00:07:34,051
Schmidt, I need you...
234
00:07:35,953 --> 00:07:37,554
...to teach me
to be a douchebag.
235
00:07:37,622 --> 00:07:39,489
- Let's get to work.
- What's happening in the world?
236
00:07:42,159 --> 00:07:43,660
Hey, babe.
237
00:07:43,728 --> 00:07:45,161
Oh, hey, Cece.
238
00:07:45,229 --> 00:07:46,362
Doing some
stretches?
239
00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:47,296
Good guess, model.
240
00:07:47,364 --> 00:07:48,431
No, just limbering up
241
00:07:48,498 --> 00:07:49,632
in case I want
to have sex
242
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:51,735
with one
of your roommates.
243
00:07:51,802 --> 00:07:52,936
Do you want some company?
244
00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:54,470
What?
245
00:07:54,538 --> 00:07:56,940
- Do you want some company?
- I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
246
00:07:57,007 --> 00:07:58,108
Diane Keaton
is talking
247
00:07:58,175 --> 00:08:00,743
about her rich life
full of loyal friends.
248
00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:02,044
Oh, Jess,
249
00:08:02,112 --> 00:08:03,278
I hate when we fight.
250
00:08:03,346 --> 00:08:04,847
I get so
stressed out.
251
00:08:04,914 --> 00:08:06,215
I mean, my eye
twitches back.
252
00:08:06,282 --> 00:08:07,816
I'm eating bread,
all right?
253
00:08:08,384 --> 00:08:10,052
Just let me come
on this run with you.
254
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,120
No!
255
00:08:11,187 --> 00:08:12,087
Seriously, Jess,
256
00:08:12,155 --> 00:08:13,856
it was just one secret.
257
00:08:13,923 --> 00:08:15,590
Everybody has got secrets.
258
00:08:15,658 --> 00:08:16,791
Good afternoon.
259
00:08:16,859 --> 00:08:19,493
Uh, my name is
Mr. Schmidt. M-R...
260
00:08:19,561 --> 00:08:21,195
Not even a real
chalkboard.
261
00:08:21,763 --> 00:08:23,731
First of all, Nick, congrats.
262
00:08:23,799 --> 00:08:25,366
- Thank you.
- You're meeting a lot of young women,
263
00:08:25,433 --> 00:08:27,334
and for whatever reason,
they seem to,
264
00:08:27,402 --> 00:08:28,736
you know,
find you appealing.
265
00:08:28,804 --> 00:08:29,971
In the restaurant of life,
266
00:08:30,038 --> 00:08:32,305
you have selected
the tasting menu.
267
00:08:32,373 --> 00:08:33,840
Okay, I changed my mind.
I don't want to do this any more.
268
00:08:33,908 --> 00:08:35,475
Nick, you're terrible
at lying,
269
00:08:35,542 --> 00:08:37,844
so what we want to do is,
we want to focus on
270
00:08:37,912 --> 00:08:39,813
S.S.V.
271
00:08:39,881 --> 00:08:41,114
I cannot believe
you slept with Cece.
272
00:08:41,182 --> 00:08:42,949
- Short, simple...
- Vagina.
273
00:08:43,017 --> 00:08:44,818
Vague. It's actually...
it's actually vague.
274
00:08:44,886 --> 00:08:47,187
Let's apply it. I'm one of these
young girls that's coming in here.
275
00:08:47,255 --> 00:08:49,755
- I want to party. I'm in college.
Let's do this. - I'm in.
276
00:08:49,823 --> 00:08:50,722
Hey, what happened
to your phone?
277
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,457
Jesus took it.
278
00:08:52,525 --> 00:08:54,059
A Jesus hawk
on a speedboat.
279
00:08:54,127 --> 00:08:55,060
The environment.
280
00:08:55,128 --> 00:08:56,695
Bears, family, magic.
281
00:08:56,763 --> 00:08:58,230
Mm-hmm.
282
00:08:58,298 --> 00:08:59,731
- I need your help, Schmidt.
- Yeah.
283
00:09:01,134 --> 00:09:02,334
I'm the girl, and
the whole objective
284
00:09:02,402 --> 00:09:03,669
is to get me out
of the front door
285
00:09:03,736 --> 00:09:06,104
as fast as you
possibly can.
286
00:09:06,172 --> 00:09:07,338
Let's do this.
287
00:09:07,406 --> 00:09:08,873
- Ready?
- Yeah.
288
00:09:08,941 --> 00:09:10,641
- What's your name?
- My name is Janine, all right?
289
00:09:11,209 --> 00:09:12,076
God.
290
00:09:12,144 --> 00:09:14,478
(sighs)
291
00:09:14,546 --> 00:09:16,281
- Don't make that sound.
- Good morning, Nick.
292
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,648
You really gave it
to me good last night.
293
00:09:17,716 --> 00:09:19,117
You gave me the
full business, yeah.
294
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:21,384
This is really weird,
Schmidt.
295
00:09:21,452 --> 00:09:23,420
It's one of the weirder things
we've done, right?
296
00:09:23,487 --> 00:09:25,189
What you thinking, brown eyes?
Want to grab some brunch?
297
00:09:25,256 --> 00:09:27,057
Sure, Janine,
that sounds fun.
298
00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:29,159
God-- no, you don't want to grab brunch.
(stammering)
299
00:09:29,227 --> 00:09:30,327
- Okay.
- Come on, damn it, Nick.
300
00:09:30,394 --> 00:09:31,561
- I'm all turned around.
- Focus.
301
00:09:31,629 --> 00:09:32,562
I just had sex
with Janine.
302
00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:33,530
I have feelings
for her.
303
00:09:33,597 --> 00:09:34,998
Yeah, so you're done.
304
00:09:35,066 --> 00:09:36,866
Oh, I just sleep with her
and then kick her out
305
00:09:36,934 --> 00:09:38,534
like she's
a piece of meat?
306
00:09:38,601 --> 00:09:40,436
- This is the problem.
- All right, ask me again, Schmidt.
307
00:09:40,503 --> 00:09:42,771
Okay, cowboy, want to
saddle up and go again?
308
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,807
- No, sweetie, I can't.
- Good-- why can't you?
309
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,309
- I got things to do.
I got plans. - You have work.
310
00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:47,877
Plans can
be canceled.
311
00:09:47,945 --> 00:09:49,212
JESS: I don't want to
live in a house of lies.
312
00:09:49,279 --> 00:09:51,180
I can't do
it any more.
313
00:09:52,248 --> 00:09:53,414
Is this
happening, too?
314
00:09:53,482 --> 00:09:54,749
- No, this is not happening.
- No, this is not happening.
315
00:09:54,817 --> 00:09:56,584
This isn't what
it looks like.
316
00:09:56,652 --> 00:09:59,487
Okay, look, fine, from now on,
we are going to be open
317
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:00,856
and honest
in this loft,
318
00:10:00,923 --> 00:10:02,123
and that means that
I have some secrets
319
00:10:02,191 --> 00:10:03,791
I want to get
off my chest.
320
00:10:03,860 --> 00:10:05,493
- I'd rather not hear those.
- Nobody wants to hear these.
321
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:07,462
Schmidt, a couple months ago
I found Nick
322
00:10:07,529 --> 00:10:09,964
using your chenille throw
as a napkin.
323
00:10:10,031 --> 00:10:12,299
That is a microfiber blend
from Pakistan, you heathen.
324
00:10:12,367 --> 00:10:14,634
- Stop quoting the catalog like a weirdo.
- Each heirloom-quality...
325
00:10:14,702 --> 00:10:16,237
Good, this is healthy.
Air it out.
326
00:10:16,304 --> 00:10:17,905
All right,
one more.
327
00:10:17,973 --> 00:10:19,940
Schmidt said that
Winston is in danger
328
00:10:20,008 --> 00:10:21,308
of becoming a
nanny for life.
329
00:10:21,376 --> 00:10:23,443
He said you were
going "full Poppins."
330
00:10:23,511 --> 00:10:24,878
Okay, Winston,
I can see
331
00:10:24,945 --> 00:10:26,145
anger in your eyes.
332
00:10:26,213 --> 00:10:27,446
Schmidt said he thinks
about you sometimes
333
00:10:27,514 --> 00:10:28,447
when he's making
love to himself.
334
00:10:28,515 --> 00:10:29,949
- What?
- One time.
335
00:10:30,017 --> 00:10:31,150
What?!
336
00:10:31,218 --> 00:10:32,685
I thought about bangs
337
00:10:32,753 --> 00:10:34,787
and your face
just appeared beneath them.
338
00:10:34,855 --> 00:10:36,256
Okay, by the way,
339
00:10:36,323 --> 00:10:37,723
like I'm the only one.
340
00:10:37,791 --> 00:10:39,925
Nick told me it
happened to him,
341
00:10:39,993 --> 00:10:41,593
- like, like, a bunch of times.
- Winston,
342
00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:43,295
you told me the first week
you got back from Latvia,
343
00:10:43,363 --> 00:10:45,597
you had a sex dream about Jess,
and she had raccoon hands.
344
00:10:45,664 --> 00:10:47,599
- Dreams do not count.
- You've all thought about me
345
00:10:47,666 --> 00:10:50,135
- while self-completing?
- Yeah. Yeah.
346
00:10:50,203 --> 00:10:52,070
Look, Jess,
347
00:10:52,138 --> 00:10:53,071
it's not that big a deal.
348
00:10:53,139 --> 00:10:54,439
Really, it's,
349
00:10:54,507 --> 00:10:55,840
it's the sincerest
form of flattery.
350
00:10:55,908 --> 00:10:57,875
We're going back
to keeping secrets.
351
00:10:57,943 --> 00:11:00,011
When I walk through this
door and into my room,
352
00:11:00,078 --> 00:11:01,279
this conversation
never happened.
353
00:11:02,447 --> 00:11:05,716
Oh, my God!
354
00:11:06,484 --> 00:11:08,286
So, what did the
raccoon hands look like?
355
00:11:08,353 --> 00:11:11,422
Oh, man, they were digging
through the garbage.
356
00:11:11,489 --> 00:11:13,089
(Jess screams)
357
00:11:17,837 --> 00:11:20,206
(yawning)
358
00:11:24,009 --> 00:11:24,910
Oh, my God!
359
00:11:24,978 --> 00:11:26,612
Do not drink
my almond milk
360
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:30,015
when you spent the whole
night drinking Schmidt.
361
00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:32,283
Why are you dressed
like a Mexican wrestler?
362
00:11:32,351 --> 00:11:33,518
Because Cece,
363
00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:35,353
I don't want to live
in a world with secrets.
364
00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:36,988
And that means
that I now know
365
00:11:37,055 --> 00:11:38,756
my three roommates
have all thought about me
366
00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:40,258
while self-completing.
367
00:11:40,326 --> 00:11:41,859
So, I'm gonna wear
my winter clothes
368
00:11:41,927 --> 00:11:43,227
until I can deal
with that fact.
369
00:11:43,294 --> 00:11:44,328
But it's better
than not knowing.
370
00:11:44,395 --> 00:11:46,764
- Is it really better?
- Yeah, it is.
371
00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:48,198
Jess, I don't want to fight
with you any more, okay?
372
00:11:48,266 --> 00:11:50,701
I said I was sorry.
373
00:11:50,769 --> 00:11:52,503
We tell each other everything.
We always have.
374
00:11:52,570 --> 00:11:54,071
I've never not
told you something.
375
00:11:54,139 --> 00:11:56,540
That's what second
base means?
376
00:11:56,608 --> 00:11:58,742
Then I'm not a
virgin any more.
377
00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:02,513
Is it weird that he wants me
378
00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:04,148
to talk in a deep voice
and call myself Kevin?
379
00:12:05,216 --> 00:12:09,186
I had a dream
that I killed you.
380
00:12:09,254 --> 00:12:11,655
You tell me everything,
all right?
381
00:12:11,722 --> 00:12:14,690
I stopped telling you everything
because every time I did,
382
00:12:14,758 --> 00:12:17,893
- you got so judgmental and critical.
- What?!
383
00:12:17,961 --> 00:12:19,828
I had to give it a try, Jess.
384
00:12:19,896 --> 00:12:22,498
I mean, that was the same hand
that was inside Elmo.
385
00:12:22,566 --> 00:12:23,966
Cece.
386
00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:26,335
Okay, yeah, you got me.
387
00:12:26,403 --> 00:12:28,003
You don't have secrets, Jess,
388
00:12:28,071 --> 00:12:29,937
because you never do
anything stupid.
389
00:12:30,005 --> 00:12:32,140
- Look at me!
- With guys.
390
00:12:32,208 --> 00:12:34,609
So, living with Spencer
for six years was not a mistake?
391
00:12:34,677 --> 00:12:36,110
Cece, I'm not
judging you.
392
00:12:36,179 --> 00:12:38,580
It's just... Schmidt?
393
00:12:38,648 --> 00:12:40,282
Judging. See what that is?
394
00:12:40,349 --> 00:12:42,350
No. I'm not judging until now.
395
00:12:42,418 --> 00:12:43,951
Don't look at me!
396
00:12:44,019 --> 00:12:45,419
Oh, Jess, would you please!
397
00:12:45,487 --> 00:12:47,921
A winter hat is not gonna
make us stop thinking
398
00:12:47,989 --> 00:12:49,956
about you from time to time
when we delight ourselves.
399
00:12:50,024 --> 00:12:51,492
Oh, no!
400
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,093
Hey, could you guys keep it
down? I have a lady visitor.
401
00:12:54,028 --> 00:12:54,695
Hi, Nick.
402
00:12:54,762 --> 00:12:56,297
Oh, I get it.
403
00:12:56,364 --> 00:12:57,864
It's actually kind of
a fantasy of mine.
404
00:12:57,932 --> 00:12:59,733
Can you say the following words
out loud?
405
00:12:59,801 --> 00:13:01,267
"The ice roads
are too dangerous!
406
00:13:01,335 --> 00:13:02,868
You're gonna have
to turn back, Chief."
407
00:13:02,936 --> 00:13:05,171
I'm not saying that.
(knocking)
408
00:13:05,239 --> 00:13:06,706
NICK:
Okay.
409
00:13:07,573 --> 00:13:08,441
I want my scarf.
410
00:13:08,509 --> 00:13:10,610
It is 62 degrees out,
and I am freezing.
411
00:13:10,678 --> 00:13:13,513
No. I had work.
I-I have plans. I...
412
00:13:13,581 --> 00:13:15,815
- Get in there! Come on!
- Can I just pay you for the scarf?
413
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:19,084
Fine. $25.
414
00:13:19,151 --> 00:13:20,785
25...! No, I'll just
help you look for it.
415
00:13:20,853 --> 00:13:24,723
LENA:
Nick, where'd you go?
416
00:13:24,790 --> 00:13:26,558
Are you kidding me?
No, no, no. It's a bear.
417
00:13:26,626 --> 00:13:28,059
There's a magic bear in there!
That's all it is
418
00:13:28,127 --> 00:13:29,160
is a magic bear.
Just stop. Just...
419
00:13:29,229 --> 00:13:30,562
- Hey, Nick.
- Who is this?
420
00:13:30,630 --> 00:13:32,364
Can I have
this circle scarf?
421
00:13:32,932 --> 00:13:34,098
It's my scarf.
422
00:13:34,165 --> 00:13:36,601
No.
423
00:13:36,668 --> 00:13:39,637
HOLLY: It's my scarf!
It's mine! (gasps)
424
00:13:39,705 --> 00:13:41,272
It's mine!
It's mine!
425
00:13:41,340 --> 00:13:42,940
Nick, I just
want you to know
426
00:13:43,007 --> 00:13:44,875
that I am not
judging you right now.
427
00:13:44,943 --> 00:13:46,210
Oh, yeah.
Right, sure.
428
00:13:46,278 --> 00:13:47,678
Ladies, let's not do this.
429
00:13:47,746 --> 00:13:49,446
At least not
with our shirts on.
430
00:13:49,513 --> 00:13:50,947
Do you know how many things
I haven't told you?
431
00:13:51,014 --> 00:13:52,582
Nol I don't,
because, apparently,
432
00:13:52,650 --> 00:13:54,384
I don't know you at all.
433
00:13:54,452 --> 00:13:56,119
Are you running
a 10K tomorrow?
434
00:13:56,186 --> 00:13:58,788
Who knows? Are you even
against MS any more?
435
00:13:58,856 --> 00:13:59,756
- Beats me!
NICK: Ow! Ow! Ow!
436
00:13:59,823 --> 00:14:01,224
They've stopped
hitting each other,
437
00:14:01,291 --> 00:14:02,325
and they're just hitting me!
438
00:14:02,393 --> 00:14:04,160
All right, you want
to go? This New Year's,
439
00:14:04,228 --> 00:14:05,461
I wasn't at my
parents' house.
440
00:14:05,528 --> 00:14:07,296
I was down in St. Barths
441
00:14:07,364 --> 00:14:09,632
with a guy who might
be an arms dealer.
442
00:14:09,699 --> 00:14:11,634
And my feet aren't
whiter than yours.
443
00:14:11,701 --> 00:14:14,803
I just told you that
to make you feel better.
444
00:14:14,871 --> 00:14:17,205
And when we were
ten years old,
445
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,174
I went to the movie My Girl
446
00:14:19,242 --> 00:14:22,443
with Jessica P
before I saw it with you!
447
00:14:22,511 --> 00:14:24,245
NICK:
Ow! Ow! Ow!
448
00:14:24,313 --> 00:14:26,347
And... I own a motorcycle.
449
00:14:26,415 --> 00:14:28,048
Jessica P?!
450
00:14:28,116 --> 00:14:30,251
Jessica freaking P?
451
00:14:30,319 --> 00:14:33,120
- Oh, my God, are you crying
under there now?! - No! No!
452
00:14:33,188 --> 00:14:34,722
- I think you are.
- No, I am not.
453
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,123
(Holly and Lena yelling)
All right, everybody stop!
454
00:14:36,191 --> 00:14:38,057
Wherever you are
455
00:14:38,125 --> 00:14:40,059
right now, just sit down!
456
00:14:40,127 --> 00:14:42,696
Okay, now, Saturday
457
00:14:42,764 --> 00:14:44,063
is a day for sleeping,
458
00:14:44,131 --> 00:14:45,131
and damn it, you will not
459
00:14:45,199 --> 00:14:46,199
take that away from me!
460
00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:47,566
You-- give her her scarf back.
461
00:14:47,634 --> 00:14:50,637
Finders keepers is not a thing.
462
00:14:50,705 --> 00:14:52,071
You-- get out of my house!
463
00:14:52,139 --> 00:14:53,106
Who are you?
464
00:14:53,174 --> 00:14:54,940
Who am I?
465
00:14:55,008 --> 00:14:58,611
Who am I? Well, I am
Theodore K. Mullins.
466
00:14:58,679 --> 00:15:00,846
And Nick is my lover
on the down low.
467
00:15:00,914 --> 00:15:03,683
Tell her, Nick.
Tell her how it really
468
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:06,419
goes down in apartment 4D.
469
00:15:06,486 --> 00:15:08,487
Oh, great Negro spiritual,
470
00:15:08,555 --> 00:15:10,722
please come down
and loose these chains
471
00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:12,223
on this woman!
472
00:15:12,291 --> 00:15:13,825
Flesh on flesh.
473
00:15:13,892 --> 00:15:14,826
When the lights are off,
474
00:15:14,893 --> 00:15:15,993
we are all
the same.
475
00:15:16,061 --> 00:15:17,094
Not true.
476
00:15:17,162 --> 00:15:19,096
Dear lord, help me, Father!
477
00:15:21,099 --> 00:15:22,166
Get out of my house.
478
00:15:22,234 --> 00:15:23,435
Get out
479
00:15:23,502 --> 00:15:24,669
of my house!
480
00:15:24,737 --> 00:15:26,002
- Yeah. I'm out.
- I'm leaving.
481
00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:27,471
Hey, can you
give me a ride?
482
00:15:27,539 --> 00:15:29,039
- Get out.
- I'm gonna stop and get a manicure.
483
00:15:29,106 --> 00:15:30,741
- Do you want to...?
- Okay. Yeah.
484
00:15:30,809 --> 00:15:32,643
You told Harpo
to beat me?
485
00:15:32,711 --> 00:15:33,944
Bye, guys.
486
00:15:34,011 --> 00:15:35,446
You want them over me?
487
00:15:35,513 --> 00:15:37,381
Over me?! You...
488
00:15:37,449 --> 00:15:40,384
You're sweating so much,
it looks like rain, and you...
489
00:15:40,452 --> 00:15:42,284
You, you're peaking, man.
490
00:15:42,353 --> 00:15:43,853
You're at the prime
of your life. That's actually...
491
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,390
Cece, get rid of the motorcycle!
And Jess, don't act like
492
00:15:47,458 --> 00:15:49,325
you haven't thought about us,
too, when you're going solo.
493
00:15:49,393 --> 00:15:52,027
Okay? I don't work a
9:00-to-5:00. I'm here all day.
494
00:15:52,095 --> 00:15:53,329
I can hear you!
495
00:15:53,397 --> 00:15:54,697
Now, go away,
496
00:15:54,765 --> 00:15:57,199
because I'm... having cereal.
497
00:16:11,914 --> 00:16:13,647
Runners, take
their marks.
498
00:16:13,715 --> 00:16:14,915
♪ Around with them ♪
499
00:16:14,983 --> 00:16:16,950
(cheering)
500
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,319
♪ I don't want to walk
around with them ♪
501
00:16:19,388 --> 00:16:21,389
♪ 'Cause I don't want
to walk around with them ♪
502
00:16:21,456 --> 00:16:23,056
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
503
00:16:23,124 --> 00:16:24,792
♪ I don't want to walk
around with them ♪
504
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,494
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
(yelps)
505
00:16:26,561 --> 00:16:28,696
♪ I don't want to walk around
with them... ♪
506
00:16:28,764 --> 00:16:30,296
(cheering and whooping)
507
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,964
Why do all female runners look
508
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,767
like old German women
when they run?
509
00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:36,068
SCHMIDT:
Oh, boy, look at her glisten!
510
00:16:36,136 --> 00:16:37,704
Oh, Cece.
511
00:16:37,772 --> 00:16:39,873
That sports bra is doing
God's work right now.
512
00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:43,109
- Two months. - I can't stop.
I got to beat Jess.
513
00:16:43,826 --> 00:16:45,244
What are you...?
What is wrong with you, sir?
514
00:16:45,312 --> 00:16:46,612
That is Cece's water!
515
00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:48,079
You animal!
516
00:16:48,147 --> 00:16:49,214
This thing with our girls
has gotten out of control.
517
00:16:49,782 --> 00:16:50,682
Our girls?
518
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:52,317
Yeah, it makes me really sad
519
00:16:52,385 --> 00:16:54,219
to see them fighting
over me like this.
520
00:16:54,287 --> 00:16:55,821
Then why are you smiling?
521
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:58,056
(panting): Have you guys...
seen... Cece?
522
00:16:58,124 --> 00:16:59,458
Yeah, she's way
down there.
523
00:16:59,526 --> 00:17:01,192
Hasn't even
broken a sweat.
524
00:17:01,260 --> 00:17:03,594
Jess, okay.
Jess, arms up.
525
00:17:03,662 --> 00:17:05,930
Arms up. I need you
long and loose like sea grass.
526
00:17:05,997 --> 00:17:08,666
Moving. Move...
(grunts)
527
00:17:08,734 --> 00:17:10,635
(Winston and Nick groan) Oh, my God, why?!
- I'm sorry.
528
00:17:10,702 --> 00:17:12,069
I'm just mad at you.
529
00:17:12,137 --> 00:17:14,639
My adrenaline is going.
530
00:17:14,706 --> 00:17:16,407
(panting)
531
00:17:17,475 --> 00:17:18,708
Did you make that?
532
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:21,578
- What?
- And Cece let you wear it?
533
00:17:21,646 --> 00:17:22,979
What? She thought it was funny.
534
00:17:26,416 --> 00:17:28,151
Cece! Cece?
535
00:17:29,218 --> 00:17:30,820
- Cece!
- What's that about, man?
536
00:17:30,887 --> 00:17:32,588
I mean, I think the shirt's
pretty funny, no?
537
00:17:32,656 --> 00:17:34,156
- Not funny at all.
- Puns are creepy,
538
00:17:34,223 --> 00:17:35,891
- and they freak me out,
and you know that. - I like it.
539
00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:38,192
WOMEN: Nick!
- Oh, no, no, no.
540
00:17:38,260 --> 00:17:39,827
I hooked up with both
those girls last week.
541
00:17:39,895 --> 00:17:40,795
I didn't know they knew
542
00:17:40,863 --> 00:17:42,298
each other. I thought they just
lived in the same apartment.
543
00:17:42,366 --> 00:17:45,601
- Why didn't you call me? - Why didn't you
tell me you hooked up with my roommate?
544
00:17:45,669 --> 00:17:48,671
I don't...
545
00:17:50,238 --> 00:17:51,205
Willow, I didn't call you
546
00:17:51,273 --> 00:17:53,475
because I had
a family emergency.
547
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:54,976
Is everything okay?
548
00:17:55,543 --> 00:17:56,711
Yes, it is.
549
00:17:56,779 --> 00:17:59,013
And Megan, I didn't tell you
about Willow because
550
00:17:59,081 --> 00:18:01,248
the moment we had was
so beautiful and intense,
551
00:18:01,816 --> 00:18:02,817
that for a second I thought
552
00:18:02,885 --> 00:18:04,853
we were the only people
on the planet.
553
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:07,921
Oh. Okay.
554
00:18:07,989 --> 00:18:09,590
Well, we'll
see you later.
555
00:18:09,657 --> 00:18:11,191
- Bye.
NICK: Bye, guys.
556
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,393
It worked.
557
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,095
Where did that come from?
558
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:17,063
I don't know.
I'm trembling, but it worked.
559
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:19,967
That was so good
my pants just got tight, Nick.
560
00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:23,168
- Oh, God, now I hate me as much
as I've always hated you. - Skin.
561
00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:24,837
- See, I have to do this now.
- No, you don't. Don't do it.
562
00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:26,372
- Yes, I do. - Skin.
- All you have to do is just not do it.
563
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,607
I have to.
No, because it works.
564
00:18:31,733 --> 00:18:32,834
JESS:
Cece?
565
00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:37,234
Cece, I can't... breathe.
566
00:18:37,302 --> 00:18:40,705
Cece, I know why you didn't tell
me about Schmidt-- because
567
00:18:40,773 --> 00:18:42,240
you like him!
568
00:18:42,308 --> 00:18:43,375
What?!
569
00:18:43,442 --> 00:18:44,676
The shirt, Cece.
570
00:18:45,243 --> 00:18:47,245
You thought the shirt
he made was funny.
571
00:18:47,313 --> 00:18:49,814
You obviously like him.
572
00:18:49,882 --> 00:18:53,050
It's the only explanation
for thinking that's funny.
573
00:18:53,617 --> 00:18:55,286
Oh, my God,
I think you're right.
574
00:18:55,353 --> 00:18:56,853
And you didn't want to tell me
575
00:18:56,921 --> 00:18:58,388
'cause you knew
that I would know.
576
00:18:58,455 --> 00:19:00,290
And you weren't ready
to admit it to yourself.
577
00:19:00,357 --> 00:19:01,991
(panting)
578
00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,660
Okay, can we just say
that I didn't tell you
579
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,361
because I'm a total bitch?
580
00:19:05,429 --> 00:19:07,997
'Cause I'm way more
comfortable with that.
581
00:19:08,065 --> 00:19:11,000
(softly):
Oh, maybe I like Schmidt.
582
00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:14,070
You... You can't
tell anyone.
583
00:19:14,137 --> 00:19:17,171
Yeah. That's like a secret
only I know.
584
00:19:17,439 --> 00:19:18,273
Heads up.
585
00:19:18,341 --> 00:19:19,641
I'm-I'm peeing.
586
00:19:19,709 --> 00:19:21,310
Oh, my God.
587
00:19:22,377 --> 00:19:23,745
Okay, come on.
We got to finish.
588
00:19:23,813 --> 00:19:25,647
(sobbing):
Oh! No!
589
00:19:25,715 --> 00:19:27,148
Oh, come on, man.
Come on, dude!
590
00:19:27,217 --> 00:19:29,318
(all chattering)
591
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,952
Hey, here they come.
Here they come.
592
00:19:32,020 --> 00:19:34,054
Come on, guys!
Let's go!
593
00:19:34,122 --> 00:19:35,523
Come on, ladies!
Be strong!
594
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:36,957
Come on!
Come on, ladies!
595
00:19:37,025 --> 00:19:38,593
- Come on, guys.
- All right, let's go!
596
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,160
Come on...
Come on...
597
00:19:40,229 --> 00:19:42,563
- Finish strong!
NICK: Good job, guys.
598
00:19:42,631 --> 00:19:44,398
(grunting)
599
00:19:44,466 --> 00:19:46,199
NICK: Winner! Oh, man.
600
00:19:46,627 --> 00:19:47,633
Thanks for
waiting, man.
601
00:19:47,701 --> 00:19:48,801
Hey, thanks
for the ten bucks.
602
00:19:49,369 --> 00:19:50,870
JESS:
Guess what, you guys.
603
00:19:50,938 --> 00:19:53,606
- My shoes are filled with blood!
NICK: Oh, God.
604
00:19:53,673 --> 00:19:54,874
I think it's time to go home.
A little help. Come on.
605
00:19:54,942 --> 00:19:56,610
All right, Cece,
I got her, I got her.
606
00:19:56,677 --> 00:19:57,977
All right.
Okay, Jess, here we go.
607
00:19:58,045 --> 00:19:59,512
Okay, Schmidt,
grab her feet.
608
00:20:00,580 --> 00:20:01,381
- All right, there we go.
- Lead us away.
609
00:20:01,449 --> 00:20:02,881
Good job, Jess.
610
00:20:02,949 --> 00:20:04,450
(Jess laughs)
Real proud of you.
611
00:20:05,517 --> 00:20:06,618
What are you doing
to that basil, Cece?
612
00:20:06,685 --> 00:20:07,886
You trying to
make it confess?
613
00:20:07,954 --> 00:20:10,789
Easy with the knife,
Robespierre.
614
00:20:10,857 --> 00:20:12,457
I will cut off
your weaker fingers, Schmidt,
615
00:20:12,524 --> 00:20:14,425
and I'm gonna start
with your pinky.
616
00:20:14,493 --> 00:20:16,361
You guys are adorable.
617
00:20:16,428 --> 00:20:17,863
We are not
adorable.
618
00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:19,663
Okay? We are just
two people having
619
00:20:19,731 --> 00:20:21,832
casual, successful sex.
620
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:23,267
My bad.
621
00:20:23,334 --> 00:20:24,702
(whispers):
Please.
622
00:20:24,770 --> 00:20:27,104
All right.
I can't stand this heat.
623
00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:28,939
I gonna get out
of the kitchen.
624
00:20:31,109 --> 00:20:32,644
Ow. Ow.
625
00:20:32,711 --> 00:20:34,444
You should really
stretch, Jess.
626
00:20:34,512 --> 00:20:35,512
Ow.
627
00:20:35,514 --> 00:20:38,848
You know, Jess thinking
that we're a cute couple is...
628
00:20:38,916 --> 00:20:41,351
I don't... It's
kind of a turnoff.
629
00:20:41,419 --> 00:20:44,053
How do we explain to her that
this is just... it's just sex?
630
00:20:44,121 --> 00:20:45,489
Mm-hmm.
631
00:20:46,556 --> 00:20:48,224
What is that?
632
00:20:48,293 --> 00:20:50,993
( Mumbles) That is shoddy
workmanship is what that is.
633
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:51,994
I'm taking you
off prep.
634
00:20:52,061 --> 00:20:53,562
Go clean the
garbanzo beans.
635
00:20:53,630 --> 00:20:55,564
- I'm taking my knife.
- Be careful with that knife.
636
00:20:55,632 --> 00:20:57,065
It's from Japan.
637
00:20:59,202 --> 00:21:03,306
Why? Why, Cece?
638
00:21:03,373 --> 00:21:05,140
Why am I sleeping
with Schmidt?
639
00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:06,308
Is it a pity thing?
640
00:21:07,375 --> 00:21:08,876
Is he sick?
641
00:21:09,544 --> 00:21:10,779
Are you working
for the government?
642
00:21:10,846 --> 00:21:12,647
Damn it, he's holding you
against your will, isn't he?
643
00:21:12,715 --> 00:21:14,716
If he is holding you
against your will, blink twice.
644
00:21:16,251 --> 00:21:20,355
(blowing)
Blink twice.
645
00:21:20,423 --> 00:21:22,256
Are you tired
of being turned on?
646
00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:25,158
Hmm? You have a mole fetish?
647
00:21:30,197 --> 00:21:31,532
Is it huge?
648
00:21:32,299 --> 00:21:34,500
(clears throat)
I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that.
649
00:21:35,368 --> 00:21:36,370
Is it huge?
650
00:21:36,372 --> 00:21:42,706
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