1
00:00:01,308 --> 00:00:02,508
Nick, go out ten yards,
cut left.
2
00:00:02,576 --> 00:00:03,910
Winston, go long, post right.
3
00:00:03,978 --> 00:00:06,377
Jess, go down, out
towards the parking lot.
4
00:00:06,444 --> 00:00:07,679
Get in the car.
We'll meet you back at the loft.
5
00:00:08,247 --> 00:00:10,882
Oh, very funny.
You're a comedian, Schmidt.
6
00:00:14,551 --> 00:00:15,552
Hike!
7
00:00:18,157 --> 00:00:20,191
Schmidt! Come on!
8
00:00:22,393 --> 00:00:24,227
- Oh!
- Did you see that?
9
00:00:24,295 --> 00:00:26,830
- Are you okay?
- Yes, I'm oka--
10
00:00:26,898 --> 00:00:28,665
What is going on?
11
00:00:28,732 --> 00:00:30,901
- Nick... Nick, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, my God!
12
00:00:30,968 --> 00:00:32,269
This is real!
13
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,337
- Probably your lateral sizer.
- Shut up!
14
00:00:34,405 --> 00:00:37,240
- Can you just...
- Okay, let's go.
15
00:00:37,308 --> 00:00:39,675
- Rotator cuff?
- Can I...?
16
00:00:39,742 --> 00:00:41,043
- What do you need?
- Nothing from you.
17
00:00:41,111 --> 00:00:42,411
Please go far
from me right now.
18
00:00:42,478 --> 00:00:44,046
I can taste my spine.
19
00:00:44,114 --> 00:00:46,248
Three or four down there--
vertebrae.
20
00:00:46,316 --> 00:00:47,817
Why is no one helping me?
21
00:00:47,884 --> 00:00:50,452
Not you! Not you!
22
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,522
♪ Hey, girl ♪
23
00:00:53,589 --> 00:00:55,623
♪ What you doing? ♪
24
00:00:55,691 --> 00:00:58,659
♪ Hey, girl ♪
25
00:00:58,727 --> 00:01:01,696
♪ Where you going? ♪
26
00:01:01,763 --> 00:01:04,032
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
27
00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:05,766
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
28
00:01:05,835 --> 00:01:07,136
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ It's Jess. ♪
29
00:01:07,137 --> 00:01:12,807
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
30
00:01:14,043 --> 00:01:15,542
Are you sure you're okay?
31
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:17,577
You're walking
like a Disney witch.
32
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:18,745
Let me drive you
to your doctor.
33
00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:19,980
I don't have a doctor.
34
00:01:20,048 --> 00:01:21,248
I don't have insurance.
35
00:01:21,316 --> 00:01:22,983
Nick, you need to see a doctor,
36
00:01:23,051 --> 00:01:25,219
if only to make sure
that your junk is clean.
37
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,519
- I don't go to doctors.
- I'll take you to my friend Sadie.
38
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,355
She'll just look at you--
she won't charge you.
39
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,823
Okay, I don't go to doctors!
40
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,458
Are you sure
you're okay driving?
41
00:01:32,525 --> 00:01:34,393
Yes, I'm fine.
I've never been better.
42
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:35,661
I'm great.
43
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,563
Thank you.
44
00:01:38,630 --> 00:01:39,765
I feel better already.
45
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,234
See you guys back at the loft.
46
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:42,734
Oh, my God!
47
00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:44,369
Oh!
48
00:01:44,436 --> 00:01:46,437
- What did you just...?!
- I'm okay.
49
00:01:46,505 --> 00:01:48,740
- I'm okay. Don't worry.
- Oh! What did you do?
50
00:01:48,807 --> 00:01:50,675
You hit my car!
51
00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:52,043
I'm okay.
52
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:53,745
Oh, Winston, relax.
53
00:01:53,812 --> 00:01:55,313
Okay? Relax.
54
00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:56,948
That's all I did.
I did this.
55
00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:58,648
The rest was already there.
56
00:01:58,716 --> 00:02:00,617
Actually, I think
I undid a dent there.
57
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:03,020
I'm taking you to see my friend.
Get in my car.
58
00:02:03,088 --> 00:02:04,388
- No... Jess, no. Oh!
- Now!
59
00:02:04,455 --> 00:02:06,490
So she's fitting us
in between patients.
60
00:02:18,567 --> 00:02:19,535
Jess?
61
00:02:19,703 --> 00:02:21,271
Is Sadie a gynecologist?
62
00:02:21,338 --> 00:02:23,339
No, she's an OB/GYN.
63
00:02:23,407 --> 00:02:25,041
- I'm going to go.
- It's a different thing.
64
00:02:25,109 --> 00:02:26,643
I'm going to get out
of here, actually, I think.
65
00:02:26,644 --> 00:02:28,711
Yeah? I don't
think you are.
66
00:02:31,314 --> 00:02:34,182
Nick, she's a wizard
with a speculum.
67
00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:36,751
- Nick!
- I don't have a vagina.
68
00:02:36,819 --> 00:02:38,053
You can take mine.
69
00:02:38,121 --> 00:02:39,721
I heard that, sister.
70
00:02:40,289 --> 00:02:41,756
True dat.
71
00:02:41,824 --> 00:02:43,325
Okay, you know what, Nick?
72
00:02:43,393 --> 00:02:45,193
I'm sorry
that my only doctor friend
73
00:02:45,261 --> 00:02:47,161
is a gynecologist,
74
00:02:47,229 --> 00:02:48,595
but you're broke, so you're
75
00:02:48,663 --> 00:02:50,398
going to have to
shut your mouth,
76
00:02:50,465 --> 00:02:51,899
and you're going
to tag the things
77
00:02:51,967 --> 00:02:53,734
that you want in
this Lucky magazine.
78
00:02:53,802 --> 00:02:55,242
We're gonna have to
put this baby to bed.
79
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:55,602
No.
80
00:02:55,670 --> 00:02:56,904
No, no, no, Sherman, look, uh,
81
00:02:56,972 --> 00:02:58,439
I don't think
you understand, man.
82
00:02:58,506 --> 00:03:00,041
This car's been with me
through everything,
83
00:03:00,108 --> 00:03:02,108
so...
if you could just fix it.
84
00:03:02,176 --> 00:03:05,111
This is not really
officially a car anymore.
85
00:03:05,179 --> 00:03:07,280
You didn't even buy the
thing-- it was given to you
86
00:03:07,348 --> 00:03:08,381
as an illegal
recruitment gift from
87
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:09,950
a college you
didn't even go to.
88
00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:11,484
- Things happened in this car.
- Like what?
89
00:03:11,552 --> 00:03:13,686
- Desert Storm?
- Oh, things happened.
90
00:03:14,454 --> 00:03:15,355
Is this your car?
91
00:03:15,923 --> 00:03:17,557
Yeah.
92
00:03:19,258 --> 00:03:20,092
Cool.
93
00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,094
Any time.
94
00:03:22,162 --> 00:03:23,795
It's time for you to
buy a new car, man.
95
00:03:23,863 --> 00:03:25,497
- You buy a new car!
- I bought a new car.
96
00:03:25,565 --> 00:03:27,799
It's what you borrow every
morning when this one
97
00:03:27,867 --> 00:03:29,435
makes the weird sound.
98
00:03:33,039 --> 00:03:34,605
- That's not a good sound.
- Just give me the keys.
99
00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,207
You shouldn't call them keys.
100
00:03:36,275 --> 00:03:37,608
It's a paperclip
that you start the car with.
101
00:03:41,413 --> 00:03:43,914
See, that was the noise
I was talking you about.
102
00:03:43,983 --> 00:03:46,184
Shut up.
103
00:03:46,251 --> 00:03:47,918
You know you don't have
to sit like that.
104
00:03:48,487 --> 00:03:50,553
It's the only way
that it feels okay, Jess.
105
00:03:51,121 --> 00:03:52,189
- Jess!
- Sadie.
106
00:03:52,256 --> 00:03:54,591
Hey.
Hey. How are you?
107
00:03:54,658 --> 00:03:56,393
Good. How are you?
Hey, good to see you again, Nick.
108
00:03:56,461 --> 00:03:58,028
Hey. Hi.
109
00:03:58,096 --> 00:04:00,197
We were playing football,
and I tackled him.
110
00:04:00,264 --> 00:04:02,265
Oh. Well, that's not
exactly how I saw it.
111
00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:04,534
Oh, I'm surprised you got hurt.
You're such a big boy.
112
00:04:04,602 --> 00:04:05,935
Jess tackled a girl
113
00:04:06,003 --> 00:04:07,503
- I was dating once.
- Oh, yeah.
114
00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:09,038
She tried to steal my overalls.
115
00:04:09,106 --> 00:04:10,973
Okay, so... does that hurt?
116
00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,341
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes!
- All right.
117
00:04:12,409 --> 00:04:13,642
Does that hurt?
118
00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:15,011
All right.
He can flip over.
119
00:04:15,078 --> 00:04:16,812
Okay.
120
00:04:19,348 --> 00:04:20,549
So... listen.
121
00:04:20,617 --> 00:04:23,985
This is not an
official examination,
122
00:04:24,053 --> 00:04:25,453
and I am not
officially telling you
123
00:04:25,521 --> 00:04:27,022
that you bruised your spine,
124
00:04:27,089 --> 00:04:28,323
and I am not officially
125
00:04:28,391 --> 00:04:29,790
giving you these pills
126
00:04:29,858 --> 00:04:31,826
- to manage the pain.
- Okay.
127
00:04:34,129 --> 00:04:35,128
So...
128
00:04:35,629 --> 00:04:36,897
please don't take those pills.
129
00:04:36,964 --> 00:04:38,732
- Take the pills.
- Don't take those pills.
130
00:04:38,799 --> 00:04:39,767
Take the pills.
131
00:04:39,799 --> 00:04:40,767
Nobody prescribed them.
132
00:04:40,768 --> 00:04:42,036
- Take them. Take them.
- Why would you take them?
133
00:04:42,103 --> 00:04:43,837
- No. That's bad.
- That's a code. Take them.
134
00:04:43,838 --> 00:04:44,471
That means do it.
135
00:04:44,539 --> 00:04:46,540
Don't do that. No...
136
00:04:46,607 --> 00:04:48,375
Those are designed for
severe menstrual cramps,
137
00:04:48,943 --> 00:04:50,944
so they should cure
your baby back ache.
138
00:04:52,012 --> 00:04:53,379
"Baby backache."
139
00:04:53,581 --> 00:04:54,915
Wait. Stop.
140
00:04:56,082 --> 00:04:57,716
Hey, take another sip of water.
141
00:05:03,524 --> 00:05:05,591
- Yeah, um...
- What? What's wrong?
142
00:05:05,659 --> 00:05:07,225
No, it's your thyroid.
I noticed something
143
00:05:07,226 --> 00:05:08,761
while you were swallowing.
Do you mind if I...?
144
00:05:08,828 --> 00:05:10,195
I mean, I don't know
what choice I have.
145
00:05:10,263 --> 00:05:12,264
- Do it, Nick!
- Okay, Jess. Stop.
146
00:05:12,331 --> 00:05:13,831
Yeah, he has a growth.
147
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,368
Oh, my God.
148
00:05:16,436 --> 00:05:18,170
- A growth.
- Oh, no.
149
00:05:18,237 --> 00:05:19,938
- Everything works. I can swallow.
- Oh, my God.
150
00:05:20,005 --> 00:05:21,373
Everything's fine. I know
what you're talking about.
151
00:05:21,441 --> 00:05:23,375
- You knew about this?
- Yes.
152
00:05:23,443 --> 00:05:25,310
- So you've had it checked out?
- No, no, I don't...
153
00:05:25,378 --> 00:05:27,311
I don't have that stuff
checked out. I'm fine.
154
00:05:27,379 --> 00:05:28,645
I can set up an ultrasound
tomorrow morning,
155
00:05:28,713 --> 00:05:30,013
first thing--
I've got a friend.
156
00:05:30,082 --> 00:05:31,449
I can't really afford
an ultrasound, but...
157
00:05:31,996 --> 00:05:33,550
- You're going to have to, so...
- Yeah.
158
00:05:33,618 --> 00:05:35,386
All right.
So I'll set that up?
159
00:05:35,454 --> 00:05:37,254
- Absolutely.
- Right. Right.
160
00:05:37,322 --> 00:05:40,091
Make sure he goes, Jess.
161
00:05:40,158 --> 00:05:42,125
- Don't look at me like that, Jess.
- It's probably nothing.
162
00:05:42,193 --> 00:05:43,393
Yeah, it's nothing.
163
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:46,728
Oh, God.
164
00:05:48,532 --> 00:05:50,266
Put the baby's head
at the bottom.
165
00:06:00,183 --> 00:06:01,817
I'm not going to go tomorrow.
166
00:06:01,885 --> 00:06:03,319
I'd rather not,
because I don't want
167
00:06:03,387 --> 00:06:04,787
to get an ultrasound.
168
00:06:04,855 --> 00:06:06,322
I just don't have time.
169
00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:08,391
No, I've got some
writing I got to do.
170
00:06:08,459 --> 00:06:11,059
The truth is, with working out,
I've got some people to see,
171
00:06:11,127 --> 00:06:12,461
so I just can't make it.
172
00:06:12,528 --> 00:06:13,862
I lost a stamp.
173
00:06:14,429 --> 00:06:15,297
It sounds worse than it is,
174
00:06:15,365 --> 00:06:17,232
but it's a somewhat
expensive stamp
175
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:19,000
and I had planned
on looking for it.
176
00:06:19,568 --> 00:06:21,169
One of the reasons I
moved to Los Angeles
177
00:06:21,237 --> 00:06:23,838
was to get closer to whales,
so I can record them.
178
00:06:23,906 --> 00:06:25,407
I haven't gotten around to it
179
00:06:25,475 --> 00:06:27,074
because where we live
is actually east.
180
00:06:27,142 --> 00:06:28,542
It's way farther from the
ocean than I expected.
181
00:06:28,610 --> 00:06:29,910
I appreciate your concern.
182
00:06:29,978 --> 00:06:32,212
It is really sweet.
It's nice.
183
00:06:33,281 --> 00:06:34,848
But this machine's still
kicking, you know?
184
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,083
You're going.
185
00:06:36,151 --> 00:06:37,551
And I know your scared,
186
00:06:37,619 --> 00:06:38,819
but you know what my mom
187
00:06:38,887 --> 00:06:40,154
used to do when I got scared?
188
00:06:40,721 --> 00:06:41,989
A Daffy Duck impression.
189
00:06:42,056 --> 00:06:43,290
Please don't do what
you're about to do.
190
00:06:43,357 --> 00:06:45,792
Hey, Nicholas.
191
00:06:45,859 --> 00:06:47,794
I'm sorry you have
a lump in your throat.
192
00:06:47,861 --> 00:06:49,396
That's despicable!
193
00:06:51,765 --> 00:06:52,732
Sorry. Too much?
194
00:06:55,702 --> 00:06:56,235
Okay.
195
00:06:56,304 --> 00:06:58,570
- I got to go to work.
- I'll come with you.
196
00:06:58,638 --> 00:06:59,605
Oh, absolutely not.
197
00:06:59,673 --> 00:07:01,607
- I'll just sit by the bar.
- No way.
198
00:07:07,213 --> 00:07:10,047
You told them, Jess?
Really, it's not a big deal.
199
00:07:10,115 --> 00:07:11,416
- Don't tell them.
- We're just hanging out.
200
00:07:13,618 --> 00:07:14,652
With my best friend.
201
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,487
Come on, Schmidt.
What are you do...?
202
00:07:18,791 --> 00:07:21,125
You just Fredo-kiss me?
What's your problem?
203
00:07:21,193 --> 00:07:22,427
Go sit down.
204
00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:23,794
You're going to beat this, man.
205
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,094
I don't have anything.
206
00:07:25,162 --> 00:07:26,930
What is going on with you guys?
207
00:07:26,997 --> 00:07:27,964
Thanks for telling them.
208
00:07:31,902 --> 00:07:33,437
I take those, too--
209
00:07:33,504 --> 00:07:35,271
when I got a heavy flow.
210
00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:36,740
Good to know.
211
00:07:36,808 --> 00:07:38,508
- Hey.
- Hey.
212
00:07:39,576 --> 00:07:40,209
So I heard.
213
00:07:40,276 --> 00:07:41,910
Of course you did.
214
00:07:41,978 --> 00:07:43,912
Can I get a vodka soda?
215
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,281
Thank you.
You being normal...
216
00:07:46,350 --> 00:07:48,116
- Vodka soda.
- Okay.
217
00:07:48,184 --> 00:07:50,419
It's because he refuses to wear a Bluetooth.
You know that.
218
00:07:50,487 --> 00:07:52,455
I gave him one
for his birthday, too,
219
00:07:52,522 --> 00:07:54,223
but he just laughed in my face.
220
00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:55,990
Gave it back to
me for Hanukkah.
221
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:57,692
Well, according
to this Web site,
222
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,462
it could be a colloid nodule.
223
00:08:00,529 --> 00:08:03,431
But that's most common
in golden retrievers.
224
00:08:03,499 --> 00:08:05,166
I thought my lifestyle
choices would rub off on him.
225
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,868
I tried to set a good example.
226
00:08:06,935 --> 00:08:08,470
Treat your body like a temple.
227
00:08:08,537 --> 00:08:10,304
Treat your body like a temple.
228
00:08:10,873 --> 00:08:12,172
But he treats his like a dump.
229
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,374
Like a dump!
230
00:08:13,441 --> 00:08:15,442
Let me see this.
231
00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:16,844
Oh, my God.
232
00:08:16,911 --> 00:08:18,078
Hey, hey.
233
00:08:18,645 --> 00:08:19,413
My friends.
234
00:08:19,481 --> 00:08:20,714
Can I just say
235
00:08:20,782 --> 00:08:22,716
that these pills are amazing?
236
00:08:23,784 --> 00:08:25,519
I feel, like, really warm
in my uterus.
237
00:08:25,587 --> 00:08:27,053
Oh! I feel good.
238
00:08:27,121 --> 00:08:29,722
Feel real good.
239
00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:31,190
What's with the long faces?
240
00:08:31,758 --> 00:08:32,725
Schmidt?
241
00:08:32,793 --> 00:08:34,761
Just looking at you
and your beautiful soul.
242
00:08:34,828 --> 00:08:36,929
Big, strong Nick.
243
00:08:36,997 --> 00:08:38,531
- He's a champ.
- I wish I could trade
244
00:08:38,599 --> 00:08:40,032
places with you, 'cause
you know what, Nick?
245
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,768
I would do it in a second.
246
00:08:43,103 --> 00:08:44,636
But I'm also glad that I can't.
247
00:08:44,704 --> 00:08:47,171
Okay, what is going on
with you three?
248
00:08:47,239 --> 00:08:48,640
Oh, God. Jess?
249
00:08:49,108 --> 00:08:50,975
- Oh, God.
- Hey, are you okay?
250
00:08:51,043 --> 00:08:52,477
You're gonna freak him out.
You're gonna freak him out.
251
00:08:52,545 --> 00:08:54,112
- You're freaking everybody out.
- Why are you crying?
252
00:08:54,179 --> 00:08:56,047
- Schmidt, are you crying?
- 'Cause you're not helping.
253
00:08:56,115 --> 00:08:58,049
'Cause you're making me
cry with your emotion.
254
00:08:59,518 --> 00:09:01,485
Really, Winston? You?
255
00:09:01,553 --> 00:09:02,753
It's just that I love you
so much, man.
256
00:09:02,821 --> 00:09:04,354
Stop it. Enough.
257
00:09:04,423 --> 00:09:07,190
Hey, I'm fine. Just stop it.
258
00:09:07,258 --> 00:09:08,692
How do you know
you're fine, Nick?
259
00:09:13,097 --> 00:09:15,998
Is that... would that
be where... in my neck?
260
00:09:20,137 --> 00:09:21,170
Hmm.
261
00:09:23,441 --> 00:09:24,774
- I'm not going to lie.
- Mm-hmm.
262
00:09:24,842 --> 00:09:26,910
I think the pills are on top
of me a little bit.
263
00:09:27,477 --> 00:09:28,978
I think you're right.
264
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:31,047
It's so sad.
265
00:09:31,114 --> 00:09:32,481
Yeah, it's really sad
your friend's getting
266
00:09:32,549 --> 00:09:33,949
an ultrasound tomorrow.
267
00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:36,552
It's just so hard.
268
00:09:40,022 --> 00:09:41,890
Are you using your
best friend's medical crisis
269
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:43,659
to feel my boobs
with your face?
270
00:09:43,726 --> 00:09:45,060
Why isn't the whole world
271
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,862
making love all
at the same time?
272
00:09:47,430 --> 00:09:48,963
How many...
273
00:09:49,030 --> 00:09:51,532
ears does Daniel Boone have?
274
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:53,634
He's got a...
a right ear,
275
00:09:53,702 --> 00:09:56,337
a left ear and a...
front ear.
276
00:09:56,404 --> 00:09:57,538
"Frontier."
Get it?
277
00:09:59,575 --> 00:10:02,276
You don't get to speak
at my funeral.
278
00:10:03,344 --> 00:10:04,611
- What?
- For sure.
279
00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:07,146
- 100%.
- What? Why?
280
00:10:07,214 --> 00:10:09,649
- Because of that joke.
- Yeah, but...
281
00:10:09,717 --> 00:10:11,451
Jess, you don't want
to talk at a funeral.
282
00:10:11,519 --> 00:10:12,719
I've tried that once.
283
00:10:12,787 --> 00:10:14,721
What kind of dummy
284
00:10:14,789 --> 00:10:17,991
fixes a washing machine
using a knife?
285
00:10:18,058 --> 00:10:20,526
This kind of dummy!
286
00:10:20,594 --> 00:10:22,060
It did not go well.
287
00:10:22,128 --> 00:10:24,329
I don't want you
talking at my funeral!
288
00:10:24,797 --> 00:10:26,431
- Okay.
- You can go to my funeral,
289
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,733
but you can't talk.
290
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,902
My funeral is my time to shine.
291
00:10:29,970 --> 00:10:31,837
I want the girls to think,
292
00:10:31,905 --> 00:10:33,572
"I wish I brought
Nick Miller to orgasm."
293
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,173
And I want the guys to think,
294
00:10:35,241 --> 00:10:36,774
"I wish I bought him
more stuff."
295
00:10:36,842 --> 00:10:38,275
And I don't want
Daffy Duck voices
296
00:10:38,343 --> 00:10:39,978
and feeling sticks.
297
00:10:40,045 --> 00:10:41,980
You don't...
you don't know how to be real.
298
00:10:43,749 --> 00:10:46,985
I can't have you
trying to cheer people up.
299
00:10:47,052 --> 00:10:48,887
I know how to be real.
300
00:10:53,557 --> 00:10:55,959
Question: Am I wearing a hat?
301
00:10:56,027 --> 00:10:57,528
Nick Miller.
302
00:10:57,595 --> 00:10:58,829
Almost a lawyer.
303
00:11:02,199 --> 00:11:05,201
♪ This is a sad song... ♪
304
00:11:05,769 --> 00:11:06,702
Oh.
305
00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:08,004
Mm.
306
00:11:08,071 --> 00:11:11,507
♪ This is the saddest
song in the world ♪
307
00:11:11,575 --> 00:11:12,842
Yes, it is.
308
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:14,143
Mm.
309
00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:15,811
♪ This is the saddest... ♪
310
00:11:15,879 --> 00:11:17,246
You just keep singing, man.
311
00:11:17,313 --> 00:11:18,614
Okay.
312
00:11:18,682 --> 00:11:20,683
♪ This is a sad song ♪
313
00:11:20,751 --> 00:11:22,351
♪ Hey, hey ♪
314
00:11:22,419 --> 00:11:24,719
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
315
00:11:24,787 --> 00:11:26,655
♪ Saddest song
in the world ♪
316
00:11:26,722 --> 00:11:28,289
Got a nice voice, man.
317
00:11:28,357 --> 00:11:30,425
It is so weird
being sober right now.
318
00:11:30,492 --> 00:11:31,927
Can I get some weird rapping?
319
00:11:31,994 --> 00:11:33,895
♪ Nick Miller, Nick Miller ♪
320
00:11:33,963 --> 00:11:35,897
♪ From the streets
of Chicago ♪
321
00:11:35,965 --> 00:11:37,766
♪ 'Cause players play
like they do ♪
322
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:38,600
♪ Like they did ♪
323
00:11:38,668 --> 00:11:40,200
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
324
00:11:40,268 --> 00:11:42,269
♪ Sad song ♪
325
00:11:42,336 --> 00:11:44,304
♪ 'Cause the ballers ball
and the-- in the hood ♪
326
00:11:44,372 --> 00:11:46,040
♪ 'Cause he's
Chi-town hustle ♪
327
00:11:46,107 --> 00:11:47,575
♪ In the world ♪
That's sounds great.
328
00:11:47,642 --> 00:11:49,076
♪ 'Cause the people
love the-- of Chicago ♪
329
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,278
♪ Represent him,
'cause the players ♪
330
00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:52,580
♪ Don't play and the players
in the city ♪
331
00:11:52,647 --> 00:11:54,347
♪ Nick Miller, Nick Miller's ♪
332
00:11:54,415 --> 00:11:55,882
♪ A stone-cold killer ♪
333
00:11:55,950 --> 00:11:57,917
♪ Huh! Sing it,
you know, you feel ♪
334
00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,018
♪ Likes the taste
of vanilla ♪
335
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:00,252
♪ Nick Miller, Nick Miller ♪
336
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,187
♪ He's the illest of the ill ♪
337
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,521
Cece's rapping!
338
00:12:02,590 --> 00:12:03,690
♪ He pours 100 drinks ♪
339
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:04,824
♪ And none have ever spilled ♪
340
00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:06,092
♪ Plus he's super-high ♪
341
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:07,226
♪ On a bunch of pain pills ♪
342
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,461
♪ His favorite movie is ♪
343
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:09,562
♪ The Big Chill ♪
344
00:12:09,630 --> 00:12:11,097
♪ He's got a hairy chest ♪
345
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,898
♪ 'Cause he eats
a balanced meal ♪
346
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,332
♪ Hey, hey ♪
Kickin' mad flavor in his ear.
347
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,834
♪ Sad song ♪
348
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,269
♪ Huh, huh ♪
349
00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:20,305
♪ 'Cause the ice
in my glass represents ♪
350
00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:22,674
♪ The tears from my eyes,
I love you, dawg ♪
351
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,844
♪ This is a sad song ♪
352
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,445
♪ Nick Miller, Nick Miller,
yo, streets of Chicago ♪
353
00:12:28,513 --> 00:12:31,515
♪ Rough and tumble, one love,
you my heart ♪
354
00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:33,016
♪ Nick Miller, Nick Miller ♪
355
00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:34,785
♪ Never does anything. ♪
356
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,623
What?
357
00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:40,357
You want me to get real
358
00:12:40,425 --> 00:12:41,993
and stop being all cutesy
and whatever, fine.
359
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:43,893
Let's get real.
360
00:12:43,961 --> 00:12:44,794
You don't do anything.
361
00:12:44,862 --> 00:12:45,762
Mm.
362
00:12:45,830 --> 00:12:47,030
What did you want to do?
363
00:12:47,098 --> 00:12:48,297
I mean, isn't there something
364
00:12:48,365 --> 00:12:49,633
you wanted to accomplish?
365
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:51,501
Hey, I've done things.
366
00:12:51,568 --> 00:12:52,902
I wrote half a book
about zombies.
367
00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:54,971
Okay, just tell me.
368
00:12:55,039 --> 00:12:56,940
If you could do anything,
369
00:12:57,008 --> 00:12:58,775
what would you do?
370
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:02,077
You know, I'm the guy who...
I can't just
371
00:13:02,145 --> 00:13:04,212
jump into something if I don't
know what's gonna happen.
372
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,614
I never have been that guy.
373
00:13:06,682 --> 00:13:07,382
Like, I'm the,
374
00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:09,618
I'm the guy that,
if I don't know
375
00:13:09,686 --> 00:13:11,120
what's gonna happen,
I don't do something.
376
00:13:11,187 --> 00:13:13,421
Ever. I don't care
how bad I want to do it.
377
00:13:13,489 --> 00:13:14,957
I don't do it.
378
00:13:15,025 --> 00:13:16,891
Like, if everybody
would go into the ocean
379
00:13:16,959 --> 00:13:18,260
and jumped in the water,
380
00:13:19,327 --> 00:13:21,228
well, I'm the guy on the beach
guarding the wallets.
381
00:13:24,098 --> 00:13:25,700
All right.
382
00:13:29,705 --> 00:13:30,872
- All right, Nick.
- All right.
383
00:13:30,939 --> 00:13:32,438
- Get out there.
- Yeah.
384
00:13:32,506 --> 00:13:34,107
- I'll hold your wallet.
- I don't have a wallet.
385
00:13:34,175 --> 00:13:35,909
All right, well, that's fine.
386
00:13:35,977 --> 00:13:38,045
I have a sandwich bag with
my license and money in it.
387
00:13:38,112 --> 00:13:39,479
Okay, I'll hold
your sandwich bag.
388
00:13:39,547 --> 00:13:40,847
Get out there, go.
389
00:13:40,915 --> 00:13:43,283
It's a little cold.
390
00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:45,152
Just in terms of
running into the water,
391
00:13:45,219 --> 00:13:46,920
it's a tad on the cold side.
392
00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:56,228
Well, you know what,
393
00:13:56,296 --> 00:13:59,364
just... it's just...
394
00:14:06,906 --> 00:14:08,006
We all taking our shoes off?
395
00:14:08,074 --> 00:14:09,007
What's going on?
396
00:14:09,075 --> 00:14:10,441
I'm a little drunk,
397
00:14:10,509 --> 00:14:12,677
and I can't be too sure,
but I think
398
00:14:12,745 --> 00:14:14,746
you're finally about to see
your best friend's penis.
399
00:14:15,915 --> 00:14:17,648
Nick-- he's gonna sh--
400
00:14:17,717 --> 00:14:19,283
he's gonna show his penis
to the ocean and not me?
401
00:14:19,351 --> 00:14:20,617
Nick, wait!
402
00:14:26,635 --> 00:14:28,970
I'm alive!
403
00:14:29,038 --> 00:14:30,872
I... am... alive!
404
00:14:36,411 --> 00:14:38,146
I'm alive!
405
00:14:44,552 --> 00:14:47,320
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
406
00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:49,155
This is stupid!
407
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,190
No, it's cold!
408
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:54,326
My testicles are in my abdomen!
409
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,562
What was I thinking??
410
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,464
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
411
00:14:58,632 --> 00:15:00,265
Oh, my God!
That is so cold!
412
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:01,007
That is so cold!
413
00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:02,835
Words cannot describe
how cold that is!
414
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:03,903
Nick, are you okay?
415
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:06,372
No, I'm not okay, Jess!
416
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,039
I'm not okay!
417
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:09,375
All right, I woke up today
418
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:12,044
and I wanted to play a friendly
game of touch football,
419
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:15,013
then I hurt my back, and I
went to your gynecologist,
420
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,714
and now I might have cancer!
421
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,416
So, no, Jess!
422
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,952
I'm not okay!
423
00:15:28,126 --> 00:15:29,394
I don't think
this is the right time
424
00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:32,997
to bring this up,
you guys, but...
425
00:15:33,064 --> 00:15:35,199
does anyone else think
Nick could stand to lose
426
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,366
five to seven pounds?
427
00:15:53,016 --> 00:15:55,384
You know what
I'm thinking about, Ceec?
428
00:15:55,452 --> 00:15:57,254
What, Schmidt?
429
00:15:58,322 --> 00:16:00,990
That when you stand up,
430
00:16:02,058 --> 00:16:04,526
there's gonna be, like,
a perfect imprint
431
00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:05,794
of your butt in the sand.
432
00:16:06,362 --> 00:16:07,895
That is what you're
thinking about right now
433
00:16:07,963 --> 00:16:09,831
- with your best friend
- down the beach
434
00:16:09,898 --> 00:16:11,266
- going through what he's going through?
- I know, I know.
435
00:16:11,584 --> 00:16:12,917
Then why would you say that?
436
00:16:12,985 --> 00:16:14,019
I don't know why
I would say that.
437
00:16:14,087 --> 00:16:15,753
Why would anyone say that?
438
00:16:15,821 --> 00:16:18,155
I've never gone through
anything like this.
439
00:16:18,223 --> 00:16:19,656
Yeah, well, I have.
440
00:16:20,424 --> 00:16:22,025
What happened?
441
00:16:22,094 --> 00:16:24,228
My dad died when I was 12.
442
00:16:25,997 --> 00:16:27,664
That's, um...
443
00:16:27,732 --> 00:16:30,334
The only way to get through it
is to get through it.
444
00:16:36,039 --> 00:16:37,607
You know, I had
a cat that died...
445
00:16:37,674 --> 00:16:39,142
Don't compare my
dad to your cat.
446
00:16:39,210 --> 00:16:40,543
It was a big cat.
447
00:16:40,611 --> 00:16:41,944
I mean, human size.
448
00:16:45,115 --> 00:16:46,983
Hey.
449
00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:48,351
Oh, hey.
450
00:16:48,419 --> 00:16:50,052
Is this seat taken?
451
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,886
Oh, please.
452
00:16:52,454 --> 00:16:54,223
Here, will you help me up?
453
00:16:59,461 --> 00:17:01,062
I know that you're right.
454
00:17:01,131 --> 00:17:03,332
You're right,
I have to start doing things.
455
00:17:03,399 --> 00:17:05,267
I can't just...
456
00:17:07,436 --> 00:17:08,503
...you know.
457
00:17:10,472 --> 00:17:11,908
Jess...
458
00:17:13,272 --> 00:17:14,908
I like you a lot.
459
00:17:15,276 --> 00:17:16,277
I really do.
460
00:17:16,345 --> 00:17:17,678
I'm glad you're around.
461
00:17:23,951 --> 00:17:26,919
I'm not gonna remember any
of this in the morning, am I?
462
00:17:26,987 --> 00:17:28,921
Most certainly not.
463
00:17:28,989 --> 00:17:29,956
Oh, no.
464
00:17:31,025 --> 00:17:33,160
Yeah, it's... yeah.
465
00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:36,563
Yeah, we should go home.
466
00:17:36,631 --> 00:17:37,964
Yes.
467
00:17:38,032 --> 00:17:39,898
Let's go home.
468
00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:55,946
Hey. We gotta wake up.
469
00:17:56,014 --> 00:17:57,114
Morning.
470
00:17:57,183 --> 00:17:58,449
What?
471
00:17:59,517 --> 00:18:01,018
Hey, Schmidty!
472
00:18:02,588 --> 00:18:03,888
Wake up, wake up!
Everybody, up!
473
00:18:03,955 --> 00:18:05,190
I got that ultrasound thing.
474
00:18:05,257 --> 00:18:07,091
We're late.
475
00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:14,565
What?
476
00:18:21,105 --> 00:18:22,372
Oh...
477
00:18:32,815 --> 00:18:33,849
Hey, Winston.
478
00:18:34,267 --> 00:18:35,251
We're late, man.
479
00:18:37,319 --> 00:18:38,354
Ah, fresh air.
480
00:18:38,355 --> 00:18:39,501
Back to the fume chamber.
481
00:18:39,504 --> 00:18:40,824
Couldn't even
sell it for metal.
482
00:18:42,391 --> 00:18:43,858
Hope you didn't
get sand in my car.
483
00:18:43,926 --> 00:18:46,795
Yeah, that's this
car's problem: too much sand.
484
00:18:47,863 --> 00:18:49,531
Oh, my God, there's soot
coming in from the floor.
485
00:18:57,692 --> 00:18:59,793
Hi. Uh, my name
is Nick Miller.
486
00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:01,995
I-I have a 9:00 a.m. today.
487
00:19:02,063 --> 00:19:04,030
Fill these out.
I'm gonna need a copy
488
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,932
- of your health insurance.
- Oh.
489
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,569
I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be
paying with cash, actually.
490
00:19:08,636 --> 00:19:11,705
It's a mixture of, uh,
paper money and change.
491
00:19:12,272 --> 00:19:13,772
I do have a check
that's postdated.
492
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,509
There's a 60/40 shot
that's gonna clear.
493
00:19:17,777 --> 00:19:18,944
I hope that's good.
494
00:19:21,982 --> 00:19:23,316
Jess-- oh, yeah.
495
00:19:24,383 --> 00:19:25,451
Do I have to do this now?
496
00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:36,128
How long does it take to
tell if someone has cancer?
497
00:19:39,132 --> 00:19:40,865
- Guys.
- Hey.
498
00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:42,967
I'm okay. I'm fine.
499
00:19:43,035 --> 00:19:43,868
I'm fine.
It's nothing.
500
00:19:43,936 --> 00:19:45,103
Yeah.
501
00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:47,304
What was it?
What did they say it was?
502
00:19:47,372 --> 00:19:48,640
I didn't hear anything
after they said,
503
00:19:48,707 --> 00:19:51,008
"You don't have cancer."
I blanked out. I think it's,
504
00:19:51,075 --> 00:19:53,410
like, a cyst or something.
505
00:19:53,478 --> 00:19:54,945
Ugh.
506
00:19:55,013 --> 00:19:56,247
Stop Fredo-kissing
me, Schmidt.
507
00:19:58,933 --> 00:20:00,991
All right,
so what do I owe you?
508
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:01,684
Let's figure this out.
509
00:20:02,252 --> 00:20:02,818
I've got, uh...
510
00:20:02,886 --> 00:20:04,521
It's already taken care of.
511
00:20:04,588 --> 00:20:07,056
What do you mean
it's already taken care of?
512
00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:08,625
Oh, we split it.
513
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,230
All right, well,
I'll pay you guys back.
514
00:20:14,298 --> 00:20:15,632
I just...
515
00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:17,099
And can you please
get a wallet?
516
00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:18,200
I do have a wallet.
517
00:20:19,268 --> 00:20:20,602
A wallet.
518
00:20:20,670 --> 00:20:23,305
I have tons of wallet chains
that you can borrow.
519
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:34,682
♪ Deep inside
the ever-spinning... ♪
520
00:20:35,499 --> 00:20:36,083
Hey, Jess?
521
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:37,084
Hmm?
522
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:38,319
What happened last night?
523
00:20:38,387 --> 00:20:39,920
Nothing.
524
00:20:43,391 --> 00:20:45,958
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
525
00:20:47,761 --> 00:20:49,262
- Let it go, bud.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
526
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:50,797
- Just got to give it a second.
- Bye.
527
00:20:50,864 --> 00:20:51,998
It's cruel at this point.
528
00:20:52,066 --> 00:20:53,433
The car's dead, bud.
529
00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:02,541
♪ I'll take care of you ♪
530
00:21:04,777 --> 00:21:09,281
♪ If you ask me to ♪
531
00:21:11,685 --> 00:21:19,123
♪ In a year or two... ♪
532
00:21:19,191 --> 00:21:21,226
♪ Oh... ♪
533
00:21:32,301 --> 00:21:33,436
Don't walk so damn fast.
534
00:21:33,503 --> 00:21:34,404
I'm coming.
535
00:21:34,472 --> 00:21:36,239
Can't a man say good-bye
to his car?
536
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:41,616
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