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Opening statements today
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in the trial of celebrity
chef Susanna Gabey,
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accused of killing her husband.
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The special tonight:
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cold-blooded murder.
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The jury is expected to
be sequestered four weeks.
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Ooh, look, that's her. (laughs)
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ANCHORMAN: In this
high profile case,
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initial courtroom reports
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note an annoyingly inquisitive jury.
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In otter news, an otter was born
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- at the zoo today.
- Oh! - Oh, dip.
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I can't believe Jess
is gonna be sequestered
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for so long.
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Who am I supposed to go
to for lady advice now?
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I mean, I'm having
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- a real crisis with KC.
- NICK: It's not a crisis.
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She posted a photo of another
dude; it's no big deal.
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Yeah, but when I asked
her about it, she said,
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"He's a work friend, Winston. Slow down."
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I'm like, "Slow down?
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"We've been dating for four months already.
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I've seen one of your breasts."
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What was the situation where you only saw
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one of her breasts?
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We were playing dinosaur.
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Look, I just need Jess.
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Winston, it's gonna be okay,
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because I can help.
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I told Jess that I was gonna
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take care of her boys while she was away.
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What, you don't think I can be supportive?
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(phone chimes)
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No...
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Todd is in town.
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- Ploons?
- Are you kidding me?
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Went to college with this guy.
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He's the worst guy on Planet Earth.
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(dance music playing)
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His grandfather invented the springs
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that go inside pens.
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He's got, like, a billion dollars.
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Once he paid apl.de.ap
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from The Black Eyed Peas
to hang out with him,
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just so he could look cool.
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How much are you guys
gettin' paid for this?
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Bunch of marijuana.
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And these carrots.
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- (phone chimes)
- Ugh.
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I just got a text from him.
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"Nick the Dick"... hate that...
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"it's Hot Daddy T"... hate that...
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"in La-La Land."... hate that...
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"Excited to talk
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"bachelor party with you.
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Vegass?"
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He spelled "Vegas" with two S's.
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He spelled it with two?
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That's ass. That's Veg-ass.
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You see what he did?
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You see what he did?
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It's so like Ploons
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to assume he's coming
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- to the bachelors party.
- He said Vegas?
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You can't invite him, Schmidt.
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On the other hand, you know,
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a bachelor party does cost a lot of money.
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I'm your best man.
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I got this bachelors
party under control, buddy.
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First of all, you're saying
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"bachelors party," which is wrong.
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Okay, so where we going?
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- Where are we going?
- Yeah.
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- For the party?
- For the party, yeah.
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We don't have to go anywhere.
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You want to go somewhere, right?
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- Uh...
- NICK: We're going someplace.
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Someplace that is so much better
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than what Ploons could do.
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Well, he'd go to Vegas,
which... which sounds awesome.
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We're going to Tokyo!
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I mean, look at you. You're obsessed
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with Japanese culture,
you wear the kimono, right?
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I'm gonna take you where
Ploons can never take you.
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I'm taking you to Tokyo.
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(choked up): This... this is pimp.
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This is so pimp.
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(crying): I just really need to know, um...
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(clears throat)
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I was gonna say, how are
we paying for all of this?
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- Doesn't matter.
- How does anybody pay for anything?
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WINSTON: No, no, seriously,
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how are we paying for this?
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Boom, boom, boom...
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- (imitates playing guitar)
- Who cares?
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BOTH: We're going to Tokyo!
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Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
Resync by GoldenBeard
www.addic7ed.com
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(humming Super Mario Bros.
underground levels music)
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Is there a three-prong
outlet in here somewhere?
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(vocalizing)
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God, I love echoes in bathrooms.
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It's so good.
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Hey, there's a stranger in the bathroom.
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- That's just Brandon.
- Who the hell is Brandon?
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Brandon's how we're
paying for Tokyo, Schmidt.
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You see, I put a thing online.
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I'm renting out Jess's
room while she's gone.
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- Oh...
- I'm gonna rent out all the rooms.
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Are you insane?
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I don't think so, no.
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Do you have any idea
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the amount of bodily fluids
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that people let loose onacation?
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Brandon's a really good guy.
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He's just here to finish his novel.
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I appreciate the effort, I do,
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but we don't need to go to...
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we don't need to go to Tokyo.
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Not for this. I'm not willing to
turn our home into a public pool.
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One: I understand your concern
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and I'll make note of it.
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You're not even typing.
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Two: I already bought the tickets
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and they're nonrefundable.
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We need to come up with $9,000.
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You don't need Jess's bowl
of advice, Winston, all right?
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I really do, CeCe.
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I mean, look. She's cheating on me.
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KC's cheating on me.
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- Hmm.
- The same thing happened with Daisy.
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Everything's all good,
then all of a sudden,
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she's hiding a basketball
player in the shower
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and I own a cat!
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I'm in a cycle.
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I'm in a bad woman cycle.
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She posts a picture with a hot guy,
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you post a picture with a hot girl.
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That-that's great. That's
perfect advice, CeCe.
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I know. Thank you very much.
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You're welcome.
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If only I knew a hot girl.
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Hmm.
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Ah...
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Trust me, it'll work.
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I've done the math,
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and if we rent out every room for a month,
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we'll have enough money,
we won't need Todd.
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The hospitality industry is fast-paced
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and it's detail-oriented.
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And you have the focus
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of a coked-up Italian on a summer day.
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I'm very focused.
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You're not even looking at me right now.
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I thought I saw something shiny.
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Um...
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But no, it was nothing.
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How do you drive your
car and not hit people?
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I have never been more focused in my...
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It was a spoon.
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I saw the... it was just a spoon.
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Nick, let's just call Todd.
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Let's bite the bullet...
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No, Schmidt, we don't
need his money. Look at me.
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(sighs) Okay...
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Schmidty, I'm your best man.
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And I may not be a rich man.
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The only thing my parents invented
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was a wand
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to push the buttons on the
microwave from the table,
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so you don't have to get up.
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- You mean like a stick?
- My point is,
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it's my job to give you
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the bachelors party of your dreams.
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And I intend on doing that.
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Why don't you close your eyes for me?
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What do you see
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when you see your dream bachelors party?
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- Sushi.
- (chuckles) A lot of it.
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Sake.
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Honor.
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And no Todd, right?
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Look around. Is Todd there?
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'Cause we don't need him.
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We can do this.
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I want you to look at me
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and tell me you believe we can do this.
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Do you believe, Schmidty?
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Do you believe?
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Schmidty? Do you believe?
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- I believe...!
- Do you believe?
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- I believe!
- Yeah!
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I'm gonna eat sushi off my own ass!
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Why you using tongs?
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We don't use tongs at home.
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Don't forget to write your reviews
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and it'd be nice if you mentioned Nick.
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- So you're just full-blown running a hotel now?
- MAN: All right, let's go.
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It's a boutique hotel, yes.
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We are offering a premiere experience
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in a competitive marketplace.
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Okay? And the reviews are everything.
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- So grab a vacuum...
- I'm gonna go take my 15.
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It's not time for a break.
You just started working.
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It takes a staff to run...
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There's no work ethic
there... how do you work...?
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- (phone ringing)
- Look at that.
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KC took the bait.
208
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I gotta take my 15.
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Uh, hello? What it do, Jacques?
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Everybody's taking their 15.
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Got no staff.
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Kumiko, how are you?
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Hey, Kumiko.
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Kumiko, you're from Japan, yes?
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Well, you know, Nick and I
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are going to Japan. Any tips?
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Yes?
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Cleaning.
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00:06:51,893 --> 00:06:53,259
She's talking about the shower.
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00:06:53,294 --> 00:06:55,201
- Oh!
- SCHMIDT: Yes.
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00:06:55,226 --> 00:06:56,862
- Let me help you with that shower.
- Okay, you just...
222
00:06:56,898 --> 00:06:59,365
- stay there for a second, cowboy.
- Please.
223
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,451
We're running a business here.
224
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We're running a hotel.
225
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No sex with the guests.
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You gotta focus, here.
227
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Hey, you know this:
I'm a businessman first.
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00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:08,774
- Yes.
- I'm a sex guy second.
229
00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:10,009
- Okay?
- Stay focused, man.
230
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- No sex, no Todd.
- No Todd.
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- Tokyo!
- Tokyo.
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♪ ♪
233
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Oh. Thought you were Nick.
234
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Well, uh, KC saw the picture.
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Oh, great, you're welcome.
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00:07:23,057 --> 00:07:25,053
And she instantly broke up with me.
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(softly): Oh.
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Um...
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I'm sorry.
240
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You okay?
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Yeah.
242
00:07:32,323 --> 00:07:35,324
(loud continuous sob)
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(sob winds down)
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(sob resumes)
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This is your fault.
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I need Jess.
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No, you know what, no, you
don't need, you don't need Jess.
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'Cause I'm here, and I've got this.
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So what can I do that's Jess-like?
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You want some, you want some tea?
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- You want, like, cupcakes or a cute song?
- I need Jess.
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Okay, you know what, I'm
gonna do the tea thing.
253
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How about I do the tea thing for you,
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00:08:01,562 --> 00:08:03,406
and then I'll, it'll soothe you, okay?
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00:08:03,431 --> 00:08:04,873
So, how do I, how do you make tea?
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00:08:04,898 --> 00:08:05,787
How do you make tea?!
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00:08:05,812 --> 00:08:07,834
I'll fig... I'll figure it
out. I'll just get some water
258
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- and I'll ta...
- Yeah.
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You know, it's...
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Water and leaves!
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- Water and leaves!
- Water and leaves.
262
00:08:13,214 --> 00:08:15,531
So, this is hot, and this is cold.
263
00:08:15,566 --> 00:08:17,639
Yes. (chuckles)
264
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,064
Wet down there.
265
00:08:22,707 --> 00:08:25,541
Wet down there.
266
00:08:26,744 --> 00:08:29,345
Oh, I don't need to know that, Kumiko.
267
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:31,233
That is, that is not my business.
268
00:08:31,258 --> 00:08:32,859
Wet down there!
269
00:08:32,884 --> 00:08:35,351
Oh, you mean down there! Yeah...
270
00:08:35,386 --> 00:08:37,053
- Yes!
- That's really...
271
00:08:37,088 --> 00:08:38,272
- (groans)
- Yes, that's, yeah,
272
00:08:38,297 --> 00:08:40,825
that's actually, yeah.
Let me get in the drain.
273
00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:42,358
Sorry about that glass.
274
00:08:42,393 --> 00:08:43,092
(chuckles)
275
00:08:43,117 --> 00:08:44,553
I was in the zone writing, and I just...
276
00:08:44,578 --> 00:08:46,595
- It's just a glass, right?
- Yeah.
277
00:08:46,631 --> 00:08:48,264
As a reminder,
278
00:08:48,299 --> 00:08:50,066
there's some plastic disposable cups,
279
00:08:50,101 --> 00:08:51,634
literally, right there, so there's no need
280
00:08:51,669 --> 00:08:53,869
to rummage through the cabinets
with your travelers' hands.
281
00:08:53,905 --> 00:08:54,770
- Okay.
- Okay.
282
00:08:54,806 --> 00:08:55,938
But how's the novel coming?
283
00:08:55,973 --> 00:08:58,490
Oh, I mean, I'm stuck on a love scene.
284
00:08:58,701 --> 00:08:59,975
Ain't that always the case?
285
00:09:00,011 --> 00:09:01,377
Couldn't imagine.
286
00:09:01,412 --> 00:09:02,608
- Listen to this.
- What?
287
00:09:02,633 --> 00:09:04,380
"As his electric car powered down,
288
00:09:04,415 --> 00:09:05,548
the first thing he saw was..."
289
00:09:05,583 --> 00:09:06,882
No, look at me.
290
00:09:07,299 --> 00:09:08,465
Look at me.
291
00:09:08,490 --> 00:09:09,452
- Do I have to?
- Yeah.
292
00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:12,488
"...first thing he saw was
her virgin breasts glowing
293
00:09:12,523 --> 00:09:13,823
"in the Alabama moonlight.
294
00:09:13,858 --> 00:09:15,391
"She said,
295
00:09:15,426 --> 00:09:16,992
"'Which one do you want to see?
296
00:09:17,028 --> 00:09:18,627
"The left or the right?'
297
00:09:18,663 --> 00:09:20,096
"And I said, 'Both.'
298
00:09:20,131 --> 00:09:22,498
"She said, 'No, pick one.'
299
00:09:22,533 --> 00:09:24,667
"So I said, 'Left.'
300
00:09:24,702 --> 00:09:25,801
"She finally showed him,
301
00:09:25,837 --> 00:09:27,570
"and it was as big as a Cadillac.
302
00:09:27,605 --> 00:09:31,740
"She grabbed him by the potatoes
and led him up the stairs.
303
00:09:31,776 --> 00:09:33,275
"So many stairs.
304
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:36,345
"Left, right, left,
305
00:09:36,380 --> 00:09:38,981
"right, left,
306
00:09:39,016 --> 00:09:40,022
"right.
307
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,418
He grabbed the bannister and then let go."
308
00:09:42,453 --> 00:09:44,019
Oh, that's erotic stuff.
309
00:09:44,055 --> 00:09:45,154
- Oh, thank you.
- You're very welcome.
310
00:09:45,189 --> 00:09:46,422
That's very sexy stuff you're writing.
311
00:09:46,457 --> 00:09:48,014
- Thanks.
- The sexiest, really.
312
00:09:48,039 --> 00:09:49,105
Where the hell have you been?
313
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,684
"The parakeet was still in the room,
314
00:09:50,709 --> 00:09:54,076
"but it turned out to be a welcome addition
315
00:09:54,279 --> 00:09:56,332
to the games at hand."
316
00:09:57,235 --> 00:09:58,400
Lose that one?
317
00:09:58,436 --> 00:10:00,069
I don't even get that
one. I didn't get that one.
318
00:10:00,104 --> 00:10:01,937
Let go of it. I have
no emotional connection.
319
00:10:01,973 --> 00:10:04,206
- You're cracking; take your 15.
- I'm not cracking.
320
00:10:04,242 --> 00:10:05,641
Oh!
321
00:10:05,676 --> 00:10:06,509
Nuts.
322
00:10:06,544 --> 00:10:08,028
- You weak-handed moron!
- Hey!
323
00:10:08,053 --> 00:10:11,147
Who also is our cherished guest here.
324
00:10:11,182 --> 00:10:12,279
It's just the weight of it.
325
00:10:12,304 --> 00:10:14,950
The liquid and the balance
of it... I'm so sorry.
326
00:10:14,986 --> 00:10:16,552
- I'll help clean it up.
- No, please, let me clean it up.
327
00:10:16,587 --> 00:10:17,686
You keep writing.
328
00:10:17,722 --> 00:10:18,621
(clicks tongue)
329
00:10:18,656 --> 00:10:19,722
I think you're cracking.
330
00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:21,190
You need to take your 15.
331
00:10:21,225 --> 00:10:22,892
I don't need a 15; I'm
gonna take a 15 more of work.
332
00:10:22,927 --> 00:10:24,126
- You need a 15; take a 15.
- Pull it together.
333
00:10:24,162 --> 00:10:25,361
I will not take a 15 ever
again in my whole life.
334
00:10:25,396 --> 00:10:26,996
I'm so sorry about this. Take a 15.
335
00:10:27,031 --> 00:10:28,664
"She took a 15 on my face."
336
00:10:30,946 --> 00:10:32,012
Focus.
337
00:10:32,688 --> 00:10:33,967
Focus!
338
00:10:33,992 --> 00:10:35,168
NICK: Sorry about the
little misunderstanding
339
00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:36,071
there, all right?
340
00:10:36,107 --> 00:10:37,717
(chuckles)
341
00:10:37,795 --> 00:10:40,415
_
342
00:10:40,796 --> 00:10:43,529
_
343
00:10:47,285 --> 00:10:49,151
- This oolong tea?
- Yeah.
344
00:10:49,187 --> 00:10:50,686
Yeah, well, Jess never gives me caffeine.
345
00:10:50,721 --> 00:10:52,639
Why wouldn't you tell me that?
346
00:10:52,664 --> 00:10:54,364
You know, this breakup has
got me going crazy, Cece.
347
00:10:54,389 --> 00:10:55,588
So you just need to calm down, okay?
348
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:56,880
I'm gonna need you to nurture me.
349
00:10:56,905 --> 00:10:58,171
I'm gonna need you to nurture me.
350
00:10:58,196 --> 00:11:00,196
Okay, all right, I can
do that part. Here we go.
351
00:11:00,231 --> 00:11:01,864
So, um, maybe this breakup
352
00:11:01,899 --> 00:11:03,748
isn't such a bad thing.
353
00:11:03,773 --> 00:11:06,035
- Mm-hmm.
- Now you can stop wasting your life and find someone
354
00:11:06,070 --> 00:11:08,045
more realistic.
355
00:11:08,529 --> 00:11:10,372
Yeah, someone who's, like, in your league.
356
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,012
- What?
- Because you don't want to die alone,
357
00:11:12,037 --> 00:11:13,342
so you kind of have to settle
358
00:11:13,377 --> 00:11:14,428
and lower your standards
359
00:11:14,453 --> 00:11:16,879
and find someone that's
just, like, in your lane.
360
00:11:16,914 --> 00:11:17,553
What...?
361
00:11:17,578 --> 00:11:18,608
If you stay in your lane,
362
00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:20,912
you'll be happy, 'cause you won't be alone.
363
00:11:20,937 --> 00:11:22,029
- Right?
- What are you saying?
364
00:11:22,054 --> 00:11:24,254
Someone a little older, dumpier.
365
00:11:24,279 --> 00:11:25,795
(crying): You are so bad at this.
366
00:11:25,990 --> 00:11:27,061
For crying out loud.
367
00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:28,520
Who do we give our laundry to?
368
00:11:28,545 --> 00:11:29,943
The ad said it was included.
369
00:11:29,968 --> 00:11:32,090
I suppose, I suppose me, uh, I guess.
370
00:11:32,115 --> 00:11:33,262
- Here you go.
- Oh, dear Lord.
371
00:11:33,297 --> 00:11:34,697
Where do the entertainment
types tend to hang out?
372
00:11:34,732 --> 00:11:36,265
Crystal is a performer.
373
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:37,900
We'd love to get her in front
of the right set of eyes.
374
00:11:37,935 --> 00:11:40,002
- This is all underpants.
- Showtime!
375
00:11:40,037 --> 00:11:41,350
Mm... No, oh, no, no.
376
00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:42,541
Crystal!
377
00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:43,940
SCHMIDT: Oh, no.
378
00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:45,541
No, no, no, no, honey, no acting.
379
00:11:45,576 --> 00:11:47,209
I feel that you're gonna
start a monologue of some sort,
380
00:11:47,234 --> 00:11:49,388
and I really don't want to
hear it. I have no tolerance.
381
00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:50,746
- Please, I'm begging you.
- (clears throat)
382
00:11:50,781 --> 00:11:52,615
Is that your moment before?
Please don't do that.
383
00:11:52,650 --> 00:11:54,270
You don't know what out of order is,
384
00:11:54,295 --> 00:11:56,151
- What the hell?
- Mr. Trask!
385
00:11:56,187 --> 00:11:59,121
If I were the man I was five years ago,
386
00:11:59,156 --> 00:12:01,957
I'd take a flame thrower to this place!
387
00:12:01,993 --> 00:12:03,372
Pacino, Scent of a Woman.
388
00:12:03,397 --> 00:12:04,397
I got the referen...
389
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,128
Wait a minute.
390
00:12:06,163 --> 00:12:07,592
Is that my cashmere window pane blazer?
391
00:12:07,617 --> 00:12:09,264
I know it was you, Fredo.
392
00:12:09,701 --> 00:12:10,983
You broke my heart.
393
00:12:11,008 --> 00:12:12,350
- Do you only do Pacino?
- (kisses)
394
00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:13,736
You knock him down.
395
00:12:13,771 --> 00:12:15,604
Why don't you try knockin' me down now?
396
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:16,475
Rocky V?
397
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,940
No, no, in the ring.
398
00:12:17,975 --> 00:12:19,975
Tommy Gunn only fights in the ring.
399
00:12:20,011 --> 00:12:21,342
Of all the Rockys?
400
00:12:21,367 --> 00:12:22,934
Baby, let's do the cop one. Do Heat.
401
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:24,490
Don't do Heat. I'm... Oh, God.
402
00:12:24,515 --> 00:12:26,951
'Cause she's got a great ass!
403
00:12:33,147 --> 00:12:34,537
Nickolo.
404
00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:35,991
What up, my man?
405
00:12:36,027 --> 00:12:37,834
You got a weird vibe right now, bud.
406
00:12:37,859 --> 00:12:38,958
I called Todd.
407
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:41,463
W-W... You just say, "Hi, what's up?
408
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,798
- No.
- Don't come to the bachelor party."
409
00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:44,333
No, I made plans with him.
410
00:12:44,756 --> 00:12:46,802
I'm gonna invite him and ask him to pay.
411
00:12:46,837 --> 00:12:48,365
- What?! You...
- I'm sorry!
412
00:12:48,390 --> 00:12:50,039
♪ I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
413
00:12:50,074 --> 00:12:52,850
♪ Tossed salad and scrambled eggs ♪
414
00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:54,442
Is she listening to Frasier reruns?
415
00:12:54,467 --> 00:12:55,855
I'm in the middle of a fight with you.
416
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,046
There's this one episode, right?
417
00:12:57,081 --> 00:12:58,180
Where Niles,
418
00:12:58,215 --> 00:13:00,616
he's making an origami flower,
419
00:13:00,651 --> 00:13:02,551
and Frasier comes in and asks...
420
00:13:02,586 --> 00:13:04,953
Well, I'm sorry, actually, it's
Daphne that comes in and asks...
421
00:13:04,989 --> 00:13:06,055
Why'd you invite Todd!
422
00:13:06,090 --> 00:13:08,057
Is that what Daphne asks?
423
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,943
'Cause if I'm Daphne,
that's what I'm asking.
424
00:13:10,968 --> 00:13:12,795
He sucks. I could've done it!
425
00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:14,272
Then what does, uh, Frasier say?
426
00:13:14,297 --> 00:13:15,740
You would never be
Frasier in this scenario.
427
00:13:15,765 --> 00:13:17,564
- Who would I be?
- Obviously the dad,
428
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,478
the lazy piece of dump
429
00:13:19,503 --> 00:13:21,225
that sits on the chair.
430
00:13:24,442 --> 00:13:27,376
- And you just broke my heart.
- (Kumiko giggles)
431
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:31,184
CECE: Well, the McQuaids
sure left a mess.
432
00:13:31,209 --> 00:13:32,508
WINSTON: Nick, I would just like to say
433
00:13:32,544 --> 00:13:34,024
that you had a vision for this hotel.
434
00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:37,575
I'd also like to say that I may die alone.
435
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:38,831
- It could happen.
- Yeah.
436
00:13:38,847 --> 00:13:40,518
- Be nice if you surprised us.
- I'll try.
437
00:13:40,548 --> 00:13:42,658
Okay, look, Nick, I'm
sorry that I called Todd.
438
00:13:42,694 --> 00:13:44,659
You can suck Todd's gas
till you're blue in the face,
439
00:13:44,684 --> 00:13:45,684
but I won't.
440
00:13:46,188 --> 00:13:47,687
Not now, not ever.
441
00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:49,732
I'll pay my own way to Tokyo,
442
00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:51,073
'cause he hotel's still open, so...
443
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,197
Kumiko seems happy.
444
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:53,947
You could get some money back from her.
445
00:13:53,972 --> 00:13:54,853
Yeah.
446
00:13:54,878 --> 00:13:56,313
I ca... I'm not gonna charge
her; I can't charge her.
447
00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:57,673
- What?
- Why wouldn't you charge her?
448
00:13:57,709 --> 00:13:59,354
Why can't you charge Kumiko?
449
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,232
To be honest, because we
had a sexual encounter.
450
00:14:03,257 --> 00:14:04,056
There we go.
451
00:14:04,081 --> 00:14:05,251
Shame, shame.
452
00:14:05,276 --> 00:14:06,248
SCHMIDT: I knew it, Nick!
453
00:14:06,284 --> 00:14:08,217
You weren't in the
bathroom fixing the shower.
454
00:14:08,252 --> 00:14:10,286
You were showing her the business center.
455
00:14:10,321 --> 00:14:12,587
Okay, in my defense,
it wasn't in the shower.
456
00:14:12,612 --> 00:14:14,757
It was in the hallway for a few moments.
457
00:14:14,792 --> 00:14:17,331
Don't refer to it as a hallway. Yuck.
458
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,290
I literally meant the hallway.
459
00:14:19,315 --> 00:14:21,030
And it was vibrant, if
that's a word you could use
460
00:14:21,065 --> 00:14:22,898
in this situation, 'cause that's
what it was; it was like...
461
00:14:22,934 --> 00:14:25,634
- Just admit it, Nick, you screwed up.
- I did not screw up!
462
00:14:25,670 --> 00:14:27,310
Well, you certainly can't charge her now.
463
00:14:27,338 --> 00:14:28,637
Yes, I can.
464
00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:30,406
Sure I can.
465
00:14:34,112 --> 00:14:35,522
Hey, Kumiko.
466
00:14:37,823 --> 00:14:39,243
Can I have a minute of your time?
467
00:14:39,268 --> 00:14:40,268
(grunts)
468
00:14:41,953 --> 00:14:44,142
(sighs deeply) I had a...
469
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:46,088
I enjoyed our special time today.
470
00:14:46,124 --> 00:14:48,124
I haven't taken my pants
off in front of a woman
471
00:14:48,159 --> 00:14:49,782
in quite some time.
472
00:14:49,807 --> 00:14:51,868
I'm sorry that the pretzel fell out.
473
00:14:51,893 --> 00:14:53,534
That was unexpected.
474
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,259
I honestly don't know how
long it was in my underpants,
475
00:14:56,284 --> 00:14:58,206
and that was disturbing to me.
476
00:14:58,494 --> 00:15:00,284
Thank you for not overreacting to it.
477
00:15:01,305 --> 00:15:02,671
I'm here to talk about money.
478
00:15:02,996 --> 00:15:04,429
American currency.
479
00:15:04,581 --> 00:15:06,174
Our special time
480
00:15:06,199 --> 00:15:10,446
was not included,
financially, in the room rate.
481
00:15:10,471 --> 00:15:11,680
'Cause I'm running a business.
482
00:15:11,716 --> 00:15:14,167
And I can't be soft here.
483
00:15:14,417 --> 00:15:17,110
I understand.
484
00:15:17,135 --> 00:15:18,988
I give you money.
485
00:15:19,023 --> 00:15:20,656
Thank you for being so
cool! That's what... Yes.
486
00:15:20,691 --> 00:15:22,463
You are prostitute.
487
00:15:24,962 --> 00:15:26,712
- Working boy.
- No, no.
488
00:15:26,737 --> 00:15:29,131
I want sex.
489
00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:30,807
You want sex.
490
00:15:31,885 --> 00:15:33,157
But need money.
491
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,204
- Prostitute.
- Hotel owner.
492
00:15:35,239 --> 00:15:37,873
Sorry, Winston, I mean,
this is all my fault.
493
00:15:37,909 --> 00:15:39,931
No, no, no, no. No, Cece, you're fine.
494
00:15:39,956 --> 00:15:41,710
You were right. You really were.
495
00:15:41,746 --> 00:15:44,829
I mean, KC and I were,
we weren't going anywhere.
496
00:15:44,854 --> 00:15:45,784
Let's be honest.
497
00:15:45,809 --> 00:15:48,360
I just want to find
somebody, Cece; I really do.
498
00:15:48,385 --> 00:15:50,220
So bad it hurts.
499
00:15:50,245 --> 00:15:52,021
From my head to my turd pipe.
500
00:15:52,056 --> 00:15:54,657
That's... sweet.
501
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,165
I got so much love to give, Cece.
502
00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:00,431
I really do, so why am
I always on the phone,
503
00:16:00,456 --> 00:16:03,134
getting dumped, crying
my eyes out like an idiot?
504
00:16:03,159 --> 00:16:05,526
Well, there must be
something that you can do.
505
00:16:05,570 --> 00:16:07,403
Well, you know, if Jess were
here, she would tell me to:
506
00:16:07,438 --> 00:16:09,071
(imitating Jess): "Just
believe in yourself, Winston,
507
00:16:09,107 --> 00:16:11,674
and, like, be positive."
508
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:13,728
Well, forget what Jess would say
509
00:16:13,753 --> 00:16:16,446
and forget what I would say.
510
00:16:16,471 --> 00:16:18,381
What do you think would really
511
00:16:18,416 --> 00:16:19,292
break the cycle?
512
00:16:19,317 --> 00:16:20,620
I just want, for once in my life,
513
00:16:20,645 --> 00:16:22,845
for someone to cry over me.
514
00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:24,153
Right, okay, explore that.
515
00:16:24,188 --> 00:16:26,284
Somebody to just cry because of...
516
00:16:28,495 --> 00:16:30,149
That's a great idea, Cece!
517
00:16:30,174 --> 00:16:31,166
- It is?
- Yes!
518
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,206
This is what I'm gonna do.
519
00:16:32,231 --> 00:16:35,471
We're gonna make KC cry over me.
520
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:37,713
Oh, no, no, that's not,
521
00:16:37,738 --> 00:16:39,104
that's not where I
thought you were going...
522
00:16:39,129 --> 00:16:40,729
We're gonna make a girl cry today!
523
00:16:51,316 --> 00:16:52,882
Couldn't take the money?
524
00:16:54,753 --> 00:16:56,581
Thought you were a prostitute?
525
00:16:56,617 --> 00:17:00,051
(wry laugh)
526
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,686
It's time for Todd.
527
00:17:04,838 --> 00:17:06,034
Yeah, okay.
528
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,073
All right.
529
00:17:12,846 --> 00:17:14,584
You ever taken gloves off before?
530
00:17:15,581 --> 00:17:17,207
We could've paid for Tokyo,
531
00:17:17,232 --> 00:17:19,228
but a business venture
went south and ultimately,
532
00:17:19,253 --> 00:17:21,921
it was my fault because
the company was my baby.
533
00:17:21,956 --> 00:17:23,986
I can't believe you guys
have never been to Tokyo.
534
00:17:24,011 --> 00:17:25,993
I've been there 28 times!
535
00:17:26,018 --> 00:17:27,517
Where do you guys get your sneakers?
536
00:17:27,542 --> 00:17:28,774
- 28 times?
- Yes.
537
00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:29,831
And you idiots couldn't even
538
00:17:29,856 --> 00:17:31,210
figure out how to get there once?
539
00:17:31,235 --> 00:17:32,180
Ha! You know what you
540
00:17:32,215 --> 00:17:33,331
- deserve for that, Nick?
- What?
541
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:34,889
You deserve a one-nut slap, my friend.
542
00:17:34,902 --> 00:17:37,150
You're not slapping one of my nuts, Todd.
543
00:17:37,175 --> 00:17:38,159
- Oh, yes, I am.
- I'm an adult man.
544
00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:39,184
Tokyo?
545
00:17:40,163 --> 00:17:42,196
Get that leg up, come on.
546
00:17:49,596 --> 00:17:51,521
- All right.
- Get that nut!
547
00:17:51,556 --> 00:17:53,495
This is for you, best
man. We're going to Tokyo.
548
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,519
Yeah, get it up there. Here we go.
549
00:17:54,544 --> 00:17:55,923
- Ooh...
- Okay, no!
550
00:17:55,948 --> 00:17:56,995
- S-Stop it!
- What!?
551
00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:58,003
- Get your hand out of here!
- Oh!
552
00:17:58,028 --> 00:17:59,416
You're not slapping anybody's nuts.
553
00:17:59,441 --> 00:18:00,595
Boo!
554
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,104
SCHMIDT: We don't need your money, Todd.
555
00:18:02,129 --> 00:18:05,346
I'm gonna love my bachelor
party, no matter what.
556
00:18:05,892 --> 00:18:08,370
You're my best man. We're gonna do this.
557
00:18:08,394 --> 00:18:10,394
- Yeah, we can do this.
- Do it anywhere we want to do it.
558
00:18:10,419 --> 00:18:11,696
- That's right.
- It doesn't matter.
559
00:18:11,721 --> 00:18:13,954
I do, however, still owe $9,000.
560
00:18:13,979 --> 00:18:16,099
Wow. You guys are good friends.
561
00:18:16,135 --> 00:18:17,470
- Yep.
- Yeah.
562
00:18:17,495 --> 00:18:19,243
I don't have any friends.
563
00:18:19,268 --> 00:18:20,321
No one likes me.
564
00:18:20,346 --> 00:18:21,872
Ooh, why would you say that, Todd?
565
00:18:21,907 --> 00:18:23,573
I have a terrible personality.
566
00:18:23,609 --> 00:18:24,441
True.
567
00:18:24,476 --> 00:18:26,777
(sobs quietly)
568
00:18:26,812 --> 00:18:29,669
- You're fake crying, aren't you?
- No I'm not! I'm...
569
00:18:29,694 --> 00:18:31,160
Yeah, all right, you guys caught me.
570
00:18:32,618 --> 00:18:34,818
(choking)
571
00:18:34,853 --> 00:18:36,586
I see it in your mouth.
572
00:18:40,979 --> 00:18:41,925
Look, there she is.
573
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,017
Hey, Winston, I am not
doing this, all right?
574
00:18:44,042 --> 00:18:46,696
It is the worst idea
that I have ever heard.
575
00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:47,764
Uh, remember when you said,
576
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,267
"I'm Cece. I'm super supportive"?
577
00:18:50,292 --> 00:18:51,468
Now's your time to shine.
578
00:18:51,503 --> 00:18:52,969
Yes, it isn't like a blank check, though.
579
00:18:53,005 --> 00:18:55,639
This idea does not deserve to be supported,
580
00:18:55,674 --> 00:18:56,973
because it's insane.
581
00:18:57,009 --> 00:18:58,175
Yeah, that's what I need, Cece!
582
00:18:58,210 --> 00:19:00,001
I need insane!
583
00:19:00,026 --> 00:19:01,339
Look, Cece,
584
00:19:02,034 --> 00:19:04,517
it's no big deal, but I need this more
585
00:19:04,542 --> 00:19:07,198
than I've needed anything
in my entire life.
586
00:19:07,761 --> 00:19:10,353
(groaning): I don't want to...
587
00:19:10,378 --> 00:19:12,314
CECE: KC, um...
588
00:19:12,339 --> 00:19:13,490
I really...
589
00:19:13,525 --> 00:19:16,426
wish I didn't have to be
the one to tell you this,
590
00:19:16,462 --> 00:19:18,762
but Winston is
591
00:19:19,862 --> 00:19:21,126
dead.
592
00:19:21,151 --> 00:19:22,099
Wait, what?
593
00:19:22,134 --> 00:19:22,966
Yeah, uh...
594
00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:24,601
Oh, my God!
595
00:19:24,636 --> 00:19:26,034
Uh, yeah, he...
596
00:19:26,284 --> 00:19:27,267
Oh, my God!
597
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,306
- You okay, babe?
- No!
598
00:19:29,341 --> 00:19:31,208
Oh, the...?
599
00:19:32,614 --> 00:19:33,914
So you were...?
600
00:19:35,032 --> 00:19:38,196
Well, then, um, KC,
601
00:19:38,221 --> 00:19:39,823
you should know
602
00:19:39,848 --> 00:19:42,228
that Winston's last words,
603
00:19:42,253 --> 00:19:45,048
right before the truck...
604
00:19:45,073 --> 00:19:47,189
- Oh.
- Hit him...
605
00:19:47,214 --> 00:19:50,196
were, um, "This is all KC's fault.
606
00:19:50,221 --> 00:19:52,143
"And I wouldn't be dead
607
00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:53,730
if it wasn't for her."
608
00:19:54,039 --> 00:19:56,272
(wailing)
609
00:19:58,904 --> 00:20:00,704
Hah! (KC screams)
610
00:20:00,739 --> 00:20:02,886
It's me and I'm alive!
611
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:03,980
He's alive!
612
00:20:04,005 --> 00:20:05,371
- Scared this dude.
- I know.
613
00:20:05,396 --> 00:20:06,495
- CECE: Hmm...
- WINSTON: Yeah.
614
00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:07,388
What? What is going on?
615
00:20:07,413 --> 00:20:08,568
Thank you for this, Cece. I needed this.
616
00:20:08,593 --> 00:20:09,993
- Yeah, you're welcome.
- This means a lot.
617
00:20:10,013 --> 00:20:11,395
Okay, but... Winston, I need you,
618
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:12,386
I need you to go.
619
00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:14,421
Hey, guy from the picture...
620
00:20:14,456 --> 00:20:16,529
Mm-hmm if that's your real name...
621
00:20:16,864 --> 00:20:18,379
y'all look good together.
622
00:20:18,404 --> 00:20:19,226
We out.
623
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:20,927
CECE: (chuckles) Bye.
624
00:20:21,583 --> 00:20:22,929
- Wait, who...?
- I-I-I...
625
00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:26,222
Oh, my God, that was so messed up.
626
00:20:26,247 --> 00:20:28,458
- You've changed my life, Cece.
- Uh-huh.
627
00:20:28,483 --> 00:20:30,247
The cycle is broken!
628
00:20:30,256 --> 00:20:31,555
It's a whole new day.
629
00:20:31,590 --> 00:20:32,700
From now on,
630
00:20:32,725 --> 00:20:34,224
the woman I'm in a relationship with
631
00:20:34,249 --> 00:20:36,207
is gonna be crying over me!
632
00:20:36,232 --> 00:20:38,214
That shouldn't be the goal, though.
633
00:20:38,239 --> 00:20:39,418
You know that, right?
634
00:20:39,443 --> 00:20:40,683
I want some ice cream.
635
00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:41,887
Never tell anyone we did this.
636
00:20:41,912 --> 00:20:43,068
Can we get some ice cream?
637
00:20:43,093 --> 00:20:45,435
SCHMIDT: Well, whose stuff
is all this? Is Jess back?
638
00:20:46,455 --> 00:20:48,294
Oh... (laughs)
639
00:20:48,319 --> 00:20:50,621
- Jess, what are you doing here?
- Huh! Jess!
640
00:20:50,646 --> 00:20:52,721
(high-pitched): Hi, Nick. Hi, Schmidt.
641
00:20:58,212 --> 00:20:59,404
Hey, Brendan.
642
00:20:59,730 --> 00:21:01,372
Cool vibe, Brendan.
643
00:21:01,435 --> 00:21:02,568
Is this cute?
644
00:21:03,844 --> 00:21:05,111
Mmm? Polka dots?
645
00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:08,899
Or... don't go anywhere.
646
00:21:11,963 --> 00:21:13,247
Yellow?
647
00:21:15,867 --> 00:21:16,981
Mm-mm.
648
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,695
Wear the stripy one.
649
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,700
- Hmm...
- I think that
650
00:21:21,725 --> 00:21:23,298
will look nice with
your face and everything.
651
00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:24,323
Yeah.
652
00:21:27,294 --> 00:21:29,176
- Yeah.
- That's a good one.
653
00:21:29,469 --> 00:21:30,551
That's nice.
654
00:21:31,241 --> 00:21:32,374
NICK: You look pretty today.
655
00:21:32,399 --> 00:21:33,270
BRANDON: Thank you.
656
00:21:33,294 --> 00:21:36,055
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
Resync by GoldenBeard
www.addic7ed.om