1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:09,040 This programme contains some strong language and some violent scenes. 2 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,640 'Hiya.' I'm telling him tonight. 3 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:52,000 'I'm not leaving him tonight, I'm telling him I'm leaving him.' Right. 4 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,320 You'll tell Carmel you're leaving her? 5 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,280 'Yeah.' 6 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,200 You'll tell her tonight? 7 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,240 Yeah. 8 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,760 'What time?' 9 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,040 I don't know. 10 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,600 I thought we could tell them at the same time. 11 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:13,160 I tell Geoff and you tell Carmel at exactly the same time. 12 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,240 I could do it that way. 13 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,080 If I know you're doing it too. Right. 14 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,960 'What time?' 15 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,000 You choose. 16 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,000 Half six. 17 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,080 When the woman says, 18 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,160 "And now it's time to join the BBC news teams where you are." 19 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,360 We tell them then. 'Right.' 20 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,000 Bye. Bye. 21 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,680 He's the best! He's a Scouser! Everything you look for in a footballer, he's got. 22 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,640 You think any Scousers are talking like this about our lads? 23 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,200 'You'll tell Carmel you're leaving her?' 24 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,360 'We could tell them at the same time.' 25 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:07,240 'Now, there's a bit of uncertainty about this forecast, so if you are planning something...' 26 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,000 'You'll tell her tonight?' 27 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,160 '..the best of the brighter weather... 28 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:15,720 ' "And now it's time to join the BBC news teams where you are." ' 29 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,680 Put the ball away! > 30 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,080 Put the ball away! 31 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,160 What is it? 32 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,800 We're getting married, Dad. 33 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:31,280 'It's time to join the BBC's news teams where you are. Goodbye.' 34 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,680 If that's OK with you. 35 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,480 Yeah. When? Next month. 36 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,880 Church and all that? Yeah. 37 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,680 I couldn't do it. 38 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,840 'Why not?' I'll tell you when we meet. 39 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:04,000 When we meet? 40 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,360 Did you do it? 'Yes.' 41 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,760 You told him? 42 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,720 Yes. 43 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,440 'I'm sorry.' 44 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,960 You bastard. 45 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,240 So here we go. Not too big, not too small. 46 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,280 Eight round tables, ten per table. 47 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:50,160 And then a long one at the back for bride and groom, parents, bridesmaids, best man. 48 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:53,760 We can bring some more in in the evening. Lovely. Laura? 49 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,800 Upstairs at the Crown would do me, Dad. Never mind the Crown. What about here? 50 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,040 It's perfect. 51 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,440 How do I pay? 52 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:09,040 A third now, and then the rest on the day. Cheque OK? Yeah. 53 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,360 What does he do, your dad? 54 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,000 Barrett's in town. 55 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,480 Shop or warehouse? Both. 56 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,720 He owns it, Dad. 57 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,120 Owns it?! 58 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,160 Yeah. 59 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,760 Not exactly on the bones of his arse, then? 60 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,320 No. 61 00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:59,680 Will you wait for us, please? We'll be two minutes. 62 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,520 You're not staying with us? No, we're going into town. 63 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:17,760 This is my dad Gordon, and Maeve. Dad and Maeve, this is Willy and Carmel. Nice to meet you. 64 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,080 Enjoy. See ya. 65 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,840 Have a good time. Drink, Carmel? 66 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,920 No, I'll wait for the wine. Willy? Scotch. 67 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,240 I'm paying for the meal. You're not. No, I am definitely paying. 68 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,280 So I'll have a scotch. Large one. 69 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:35,880 OK. 70 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,280 I think you're missing the point. When you ask why they're there, 71 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,320 why our young men are there... And women. 72 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,200 And women, women too. They're there to die. 73 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:50,240 They're not there to win. They're not there to gain ground or to defeat the Taliban. 74 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,400 The Yanks will take care of that, thanks very much. We're there to die. 75 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:58,680 So that the Yanks can say to their people, "Look, we're not alone. It's not just us, it's the Brits as well." 76 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,720 Just imagine, right, that by some wonderful feat of soldiering 77 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,200 we managed to get through it all without losing a man. 78 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,800 D'you think the Yanks'd say "well done"? No way. 79 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,160 They'd say, "What the hell are you playing at? 80 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,640 "You've got to die, you bastards. You've got to die!" 81 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,080 So, have you ever been to Thailand, Carmel? 82 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,200 No. I've always wanted to. 83 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,560 It's lovely. Yes, everyone says so. 84 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,240 Mo sent me. 85 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,280 Mo? He's the owner. 86 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,440 He doesn't like people smoking near the doorway. Says it lingers. 87 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,920 Right. I'm just finishing now anyway. Just finishing. 88 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,320 Right. 89 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,760 Beam me up, Scotty. 90 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:16,160 I agree with the ban. I'm not knocking the ban. We're a persecuted minority, we really are. 91 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,960 I agree with the ban, by the way. But we have to smoke outside - 92 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,880 there's no facilities. I'm getting it. You won't. I'm getting it. 93 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:25,440 I've had whiskies and brandies, so I'm getting it. I can afford a few brandies. 94 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,400 I know, but I'm getting it. 95 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,960 Often you won't find an ashtray, or one of them things, with sand. 96 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:38,000 Not quite an ashtray but anyway, you won't find one. Put 10% on, by the way. Thank you, sir. 97 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:42,960 What are you going to do with the ciggy stumps? What are we supposed to do? Can't just throw 'em! 98 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,120 If you do, you're dropping litter and you can be fined. People fined 99 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:50,200 for dropping litter when all they've dropped is a ciggy stump. 100 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,040 Is there a problem? I'm afraid your card's been declined. 101 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,600 Shall I have another go? Yeah, course. 102 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:59,320 So the only one logical thing to do... It's fine, by the way - there's plenty of money. 103 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:03,200 The only logical thing to do is drop your ciggy stump in a litter bin. 104 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,560 But what's going to happen then? 105 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:09,440 You drop your ciggy stump in a litter bin, and you're starting a fire. 106 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:13,120 So what's worse - dropping a bit of litter, or what constitutes litter, 107 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:17,640 or starting a fire in the middle of town? Sir, I'm afraid your card's been declined again. 108 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,520 There's a problem. There's a fault. 109 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:23,120 There's money in there... Use this. I put a big cheque in. No, please. 110 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:27,200 It doesn't matter. It does, cos I've been ordering things left, right and centre 111 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:32,280 and I only did that cos I thought... It's fine. No worries. I wouldn't have ordered them if you were paying. 112 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:36,600 If you pay, it makes me look like a right prick, doesn't it?! Willy, it's fine! 113 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:45,320 Why do you do that? Hello. My card's just been rejected and it shouldn't have been. 114 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:49,320 Why d'you let your mouth run away like that? Debit card. Answer me. 115 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,960 William J Houlihan. 116 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,440 No, don't do that. Don't put me on hold again. 117 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:58,240 They'll think that I'm a con man, that I knew the card was going to be rejected. 118 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,840 They'll think no such thing! They will. She certainly will, the gold digger... 119 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:06,840 For God's sake, why are you like this?! Say that again. Indian. 120 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,360 It can't be overdrawn, mate. 121 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:14,320 I put a cheque in five days ago for 22 grand, so it can't possibly... 122 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,240 Say that again. 123 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,600 Tony's cheque bounced. 124 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,600 No, nothing. Thank you. Thanks. 125 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,200 He wouldn't do that to us. 126 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,760 He wouldn't. 127 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,600 'Hiya, this is Tony. Leave a message.' Answer machine. 128 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,520 Tony, it's Willy. Sorry to ring so late. 129 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,520 Give us a bell as soon as poss. 130 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,000 How much is that? 131 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,880 < 12 quid, love. 132 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:03,400 There you go. Thanks. Hiya, Jean. It's Willy. 133 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,360 'You all right?' Fine, love. 134 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,440 I need to speak to Tony, it's urgent. 135 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,120 OK. Did he say where? 136 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:15,600 OK. If you hear from him, tell him to call me back. 137 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,520 Tell him it's urgent. Thanks. 138 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,680 Anyone been on? What? 139 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,240 Has anyone been on? 140 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,280 No. Has Laura phoned? 141 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:27,480 What? Look, I'm sick of repeating every question I ask you. 142 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,520 Has Laura been on? 143 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,800 No. You're in the way! Every light in this house is burning. 144 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,520 Switch 'em off! Right! Now! 145 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,560 It's Willy. 146 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:39,960 Trying to get in touch with Tony. Phone me back when you get this. 147 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,520 Are you having one? I'll have tea. 148 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,200 Get your mam a cup of tea. What? 149 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,600 Get your mam a cup of tea, now! 150 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,080 Tony wouldn't let you down. There'll be a logical explanation. 151 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,840 Mark, it's Willy. Is everything all right with Tony? 152 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:16,600 Pick up, Tony. You may as well pick up, cos I'm coming round anyway. 153 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:21,760 'Pick it up, you prick. Pick it up.' 154 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,520 Pick it up! 155 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,280 What's going on? I'm finished. What d'you mean, you're finished? 156 00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:59,880 I'm wound up. Bankrupt. 157 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:03,720 What about my money? Tax man's first. Then the VAT. Then the bank. Then... 158 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,480 Mugs like me? 159 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,000 I'm sorry, mate. Eight bathrooms. 160 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,320 I did all I could. I'm no fly by night. You know that! 161 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,920 You let me put eight bathrooms in for you! I did all I could! 162 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:15,440 If there's anything left, I'll see it gets to you, Willy! 163 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:20,080 Willy! You're top of the list. I promise you that, mate. Willy! 164 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:23,200 No, no, no! I'm not letting you do this. 165 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,680 I'm not letting you do this, Willy! Don't make me phone the coppers. 166 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,880 Don't make me do a thing like that to a mate! Mate?! Open the door. 167 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,040 No! I want you to go home, Willy, and talk about it... 168 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:37,520 I don't want to wreck eight bathrooms and eight doors but I will unless you open it. 169 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:41,800 For God's sake, this is crazy, mate! I don't own them any more, Willy. 170 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:47,440 The bank owns them! I'm handing over the keys this afternoon cos the bank owns them now! 171 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,200 So whatever you do, you do to the bank! This is crazy! 172 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,280 I'm phoning the cops on you, Willy! Stop it, Willy! 173 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:59,320 Come on, man! See sense for God's sake! 174 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:21,240 Hello again. Hi. 175 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,920 It's a bit awkward, this. 176 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,200 Yeah? Can I ask you not to pay that cheque in? 177 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,000 We paid it in first thing. 178 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,600 Right. Is that a problem? No. 179 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,880 Well, slight. Slight problem. Nothing that can't be sorted. 180 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,480 It's, er, fine. It's fine, love. 181 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,480 So you're still going ahead with the... Oh, yeah. Yeah. 182 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,480 No problem. Absolutely no problem. 183 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,280 Bye. Thanks. 184 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,040 I was going to tell her. 185 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,040 And the boys. 186 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:40,200 And just as I was about to do it, Laura walked in with her fella 187 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,320 and told us they were getting married. 188 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,400 That's exactly the way it was, I promise. 189 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,960 When it's over... 190 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:02,000 when the wedding's over and they've got off - 191 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,680 I'll tell her then. I'll go home. 192 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,840 I'll pack a bag. 193 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,360 And I'll pick you up at yours. 194 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,960 About half seven. 195 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:14,200 Half seven, night of the wedding. 196 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,520 You told Geoff? 197 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,360 How'd he take it? 198 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,400 He was ecstatic. 199 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,600 D'you want me to sort him? 200 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,000 Yeah. 201 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,480 At the house. 202 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:01,440 Many in the Lion? There was a few. 203 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,640 You stink of ale. 204 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:09,520 Sorry. 205 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:53,480 Look, no disrespect but I'm finding it difficult to understand what you're saying. 206 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,760 And I'm finding it difficult to understand why I'm talking to somebody in India 207 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,960 when all I want is an appointment with a bank round the corner. 208 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,240 So please, please, give me the bloody number! 209 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,000 Will it be a free bar? No way! It's costing a fortune as it is. 210 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:11,200 You're making people pay for their own drinks? Nobody has a free bar these days. They abuse it, 211 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,360 make pigs of themselves, throw up. It's a four-star hotel. It'll be a fiver a pint! 212 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,480 That's not my fault, is it? Yeah! You're asking people to go, right? 213 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,960 You're asking people to go... I wanted the Crown. ..to pay over the odds for ale. 214 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,600 They don't have to come! Course they do. They're your mates. 215 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,800 They'll bring their own in, in their bags. Dad? 216 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,640 What you doing? Willy, what you doing? 217 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,120 What did you do that for? 218 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:50,400 Why did you stuff yourself like that? 219 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:51,680 I don't know. 220 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,320 Mr Houlihan? 221 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,080 Hello. Paul. Hi. Do you want to come through? 222 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:35,080 I paid a big cheque in, for 22 grand, and it bounced. You'll know that cos you'll have it all there. 223 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:41,120 Problem is, on the strength of that cheque, I wrote one of my own for eight... 800? Eight grand. 224 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:45,760 It'll turn up here and I want you to honour it. 8,000? It's for my daughter's wedding. Some of it. 225 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,960 There's another 12 grand to find once it's over. 226 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,280 There's this Western. 227 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,880 I think it's a Western, I'm not sure. But this bloke walks into a bank 228 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:59,120 and he asks for a loan and the banker says to him, "What's your collateral?" 229 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:02,880 And the bloke says, "This is my collateral, and this, and this." 230 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:07,680 And he gets the loan and he pays it back and I'll pay it back. 231 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,120 I know it's not Hollywood, but, er... 232 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,800 I'm wasting my breath here, aren't I? I'm afraid so. 233 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,440 You know, it's common decency to look at a man when he's talking to you. 234 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,040 I'm sorry? 235 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:30,720 I've worked my bollocks off all my life, and I'm going to carry on working my bollocks off, 236 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,920 and I'm going to put more money in that account than you've ever seen, 237 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,360 and then I'm going to come here and I'll close it. 238 00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:39,920 And when they ask me why I'm closing it, I'll say, "Ask that twat there." 239 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,280 Fucking twat. 240 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,560 I'm Willy Houlihan. 241 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,680 You touch her again, I'll kill you. 242 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,200 Yes. 243 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,640 What? 244 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,240 Yes, I am starting early. 245 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,480 Phone her. Who? Laura! 246 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,400 No. She's a good kid! I know. 247 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,720 Turn it down! 248 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,400 She'd be just as happy with upstairs at the Crown. 249 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:23,520 That's why she's getting the best - cos she's a good kid who'd be just as happy with upstairs at the Crown. 250 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,640 Turn it down! 251 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,360 THEY'D pay. His parents. 252 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:33,120 No way. They wouldn't miss it. No way! 253 00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:34,640 Phone Laura. 254 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,200 Phone her! 255 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:48,080 Hello. 256 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,360 It's your dad. 'Hiya.' 257 00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,200 Hiya. How's things? 258 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,400 Fine. You? 259 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,800 'Fine. What you doing?' 260 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,240 Just watching telly with Joe. You? 261 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,600 Same. Well, not with Joe. With your mam. 262 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,840 'How is she?' Get on with it! She's fine. 263 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:07,880 Do you love him? 264 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:08,920 Joe? 265 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,240 'Yeah.' 266 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,280 Yeah. 267 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,960 'What's going on?' 268 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,920 What is it, Dad? 269 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,720 (Tell her!) 270 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:27,840 It's the wedding. 271 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,400 What about it? 272 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,640 What about it?! 273 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:40,960 Can I invite your Uncle George? 274 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,840 Of course. He'll get drunk, pick a fight. 275 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,440 It's a wedding. There's supposed to be a fight. 276 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:52,400 I'll invite him, then. 'Right.' 277 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,080 Night, love. Good night. 278 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,480 Shite! 279 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,280 Hello. 280 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,040 Just browsing, thanks. 281 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,680 Born around the corner, 282 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,880 baptised here, first confession, first holy communion, made the wife 283 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:29,120 promise to have your funeral here. Yeah. 284 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:30,680 We get a lot like that. 285 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,160 I bet you do. 286 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,320 I want to knock it down. 287 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:39,120 Costs a fortune to run this place. 288 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,200 It's not yours to knock down though, is it? It's ours. 289 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,280 Poverty-stricken people like my mam and dad paid for this. 290 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:49,920 Poverty-stricken people with their gangs of kids and their ha'pennies and pennies. 291 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:53,640 So the least you can do is treat it with a bit of respect. 292 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,960 What are you doing here? 293 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,520 I'm doing something I haven't done since I was a kid. 294 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,720 I'm making a deal with God. 295 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,480 He gets me out the hole I'm in, and I give him something back. 296 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,000 Such as? I don't know. 297 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,640 Give up the booze or summat. 298 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,440 It's a bit easy, that, though, isn't it? 299 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:19,760 You've probably wanted to give up the booze for years, just needed a bit of motivation. 300 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,640 I don't think God will accept that. 301 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:29,960 Give her up. 302 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:34,040 Who? 303 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,320 The other woman. 304 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,760 There's always another woman. 305 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,120 Go away. I want to be alone, right? 306 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,080 I think I've got the right to a bit of solitude in a church, 307 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:15,360 a bit of peace and quiet, a bit of time to reflect, you know what I mean? So please, do one. 308 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,000 Why are you so aggressive? Go away! 309 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000 So aggressive, so tense, so... 310 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,120 Fucked up? Yes. 311 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,400 You married us. Me and the missus. 312 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,960 25 years ago. Right there. 313 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,440 I'm sorry, I... It's OK. Why should you remember? 314 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,640 One couple in thousands. Yes. 315 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,160 It's the daughter's turn next. 316 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,200 She's getting married, and I've got to make a speech. 317 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,160 I'm thinking of saying "How long before they're sick of each other? 318 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,640 "This bride and groom, so much in love, how long 319 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,720 "before she's got a fancy man and he's got a bit on the side? 320 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:55,160 "It's a farce, marriage, a total bloody farce. 321 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:59,280 Hands up, all those who agree." I've seen a lot of good marriages. 322 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:00,840 A lot more bad ones, though, eh? 323 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:05,160 The thing is, you marry a woman you fancy. But 25 years later, she's old. 324 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:08,600 You don't fancy her any more. You wouldn't harm a hair on her head, 325 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,640 but you don't fancy her any more. You fancy younger women, 326 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:15,480 younger women with firmer flesh. 327 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,400 And you're getting old yourself. 328 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:21,680 Not far off 50. Last ten years whizzed by. Next ten years will go even quicker. 329 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:26,400 Death beckons. So for God's sake, live a bit, 330 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:30,960 go out and grab a woman, a younger woman, with firmer flesh. 331 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,920 How deep is it? 332 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,080 What? The hole you're in. 333 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,000 It's bottomless. 334 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,000 Then give her up. 335 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,200 I left it there. 336 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,640 I think it's the clutch again. 337 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,600 Well, I can't afford to, mate. 338 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,160 Just weave some of your magic. Right? 339 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:15,800 I'll drop the keys off. 340 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:18,680 Thanks, Frank. 341 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,400 Having problems with your clutch? 342 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,720 What? Problems with your clutch? Yeah. 343 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,560 Get rid of it, mate. 344 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,400 I'm talking from bitter experience. Get rid of it, pal. 345 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,160 Just here'll do, mate. 346 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:41,680 Sure? Yeah. 347 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:50,720 £6.50, pal. 348 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,520 Cheers, mate. Keep the change. 349 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,160 Cheers, thank you. Cheers, pal. 350 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,960 There's no difference. There's a massive difference. 351 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:11,560 A pub and a betting shop, they're both full of sad bastards. 352 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,720 Language! Why's it OK to work in one and not the other? 353 00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:16,440 I just can't understand... 354 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,840 How much? 355 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,680 20,000. 356 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:24,240 Where d'you get it? 357 00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:27,520 Found it, in a taxi, 358 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,480 on the floor of a taxi. 359 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:31,920 Oh, Willy. 360 00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,840 What? What kind of people leave money like that in a taxi? 361 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,360 I don't know. Of course you know. It's drug money! Sh! 362 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,840 Take it to the police. 363 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:44,840 If it's druggies, they're not going to thank me for taking it to the police, are they? What kind of taxi? 364 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,200 Minicab. Omega. How d'you know? 365 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,440 I checked as soon as I found the money. Take it back to Omega now! 366 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,040 It gets us out of a hole, love. 367 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,360 For God's sake, Willy, don't even think about it. 368 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,840 You? No, I'm giving it a rest for a bit. 369 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,640 Where did you get dropped off? 370 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,600 In the taxi? Yeah. End of the street. 371 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:21,160 So he knows what street you live in? 372 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,040 He won't remember that. He will! 373 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:24,960 He drops off people on loads of streets. 374 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:29,040 Losing £20,000 tends to concentrate the mind, Willy! 375 00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,840 Take it with you. 376 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,280 When you leave this house in the morning, 377 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,960 you take that money with you. 378 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,920 All right, Willy? All right? Thought you'd packed it in, mate. 379 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,960 I have, yeah. I want one bet. 380 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,760 Red or black. Yeah? 381 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,280 20 grand. 382 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:46,920 Hiya. Is your husband in, love? 383 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,600 No. Where is he? 384 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,360 Work. 385 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,200 Late forties, early fifties, yeah? 386 00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:56,440 Yeah. 387 00:37:56,440 --> 00:38:01,480 He didn't happen to get out of a taxi at the top of the street, did he, love? Some time yesterday? 388 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,080 He can't afford taxis. 389 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,000 Will he be in tonight? 390 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,120 Yeah. 391 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,000 See you later, then. 392 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:25,360 20K. One chip? Yeah. 393 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:33,720 Place your bets. 394 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,880 20K plays red. 395 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,200 Yeah? A man came round, asking questions. 396 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,720 It's something to do with the money. 397 00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:14,400 I said a man came round. Something to do with the money. 398 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,360 Answer me! 399 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,880 Nine. Red. 400 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:28,760 It's all right, love. Everything's OK. Where are you? 401 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,040 I put it on red... 402 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,600 and it came up red. 403 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,480 Can you put 20,000 in twenties in that? 404 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,760 And give us a plastic bag, please. 405 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,760 Anyone mobile near the High Street? 406 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:12,440 Anyone mobile near the High Street? Anyone near the bridge? 407 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:18,080 Hiya. Yeah? Can I help you? 408 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,960 Found that in one of your cabs. 409 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,000 20 grand? 410 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,680 Yeah. 411 00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:29,240 Why didn't you hand it to the driver? Don't know. 412 00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:31,360 Why didn't you hand it in yesterday? 413 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,200 Last night, even? 414 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,640 I'm handing it in now. That's what matters, isn't it? No. 415 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:39,080 The driver's in hospital. 416 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:43,360 The guy who lost this, he battered him. 417 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,080 I'm sorry. 418 00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:51,080 You prick. 419 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,200 £6.50, pal. 420 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:09,840 Where's the fucking money? 421 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,680 Where does he fucking live? 422 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,960 All rise. 423 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,600 OK, next to the bridesmaids. That's lovely. 424 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:59,600 We'd like to keep the groom's family where they are, please... 425 00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:18,040 I should be in that one. 426 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:22,000 The stench of hypocrisy is overwhelming. 427 00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:26,800 I'm the groom's mother, by the way. 428 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:30,280 Discarded first wife. 429 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,800 Good enough for him while he was struggling, 430 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,640 but unsatisfactory once he became a success. 431 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,000 Excuse me, love. Yeah. 432 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,840 'Hiya'. Are you packed? 433 00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,800 Yeah. 434 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,320 What time will you get here? 435 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:05,720 'About seven, seven-thirty'. Can't wait. 436 00:43:05,720 --> 00:43:07,880 'All right, bye'. Bye. 437 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,160 Did you get out of that hole you were in? 438 00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:15,000 Yeah. 439 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,920 Then why have you still got her? 440 00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,600 Keep your nose out of my business. 441 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,320 Hang on, hang on. 442 00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:32,480 Best man's speech. Is it a pound per person? No, it's not a pound per person, 443 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,480 it's a pound per guess, so two guesses is £2. 444 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,840 Oh, and it's from when he stands to when he sits down again. 445 00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:46,920 Yeah? 446 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:48,800 It's all forged, Willy. 447 00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:50,400 What? 448 00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,240 Every single note. 449 00:43:55,240 --> 00:43:57,400 I didn't know. I promise. 450 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,920 I know. 451 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:03,000 Are you going to phone the coppers? I've got to. Right. 452 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:07,560 Thanks. Bye. 453 00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,800 'I'm making a deal with God'. 454 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,080 'I put it on red, it came up red. It gets us out of a hole'. 455 00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:25,680 You take that money with you. The serial numbers are the same. 456 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:27,720 They're forged. 457 00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:35,320 So, you met Maeve - my husband's younger model? 458 00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,280 Yeah. 459 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:39,360 Did she go all feminist? 460 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,320 Once. She tried it with me once. 461 00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:45,960 I said, "Look love, you stole an older woman's husband, darling. 462 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,400 "Where's the sisterhood in that?" 463 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:20,080 Ladies and gentlemen, the father of the bride. APPLAUSE 464 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:35,480 Marriage. 465 00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:42,760 You see two people in love like that, 466 00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,000 and you're jealous. 467 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:48,560 One of them's your own daughter but you're still jealous. 468 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:51,640 "Why can't I feel what them two are feeling? 469 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,440 "Why can't I have some of that?" 470 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,000 Thanks! 471 00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:06,280 When we me and Carmel were first married, we spent many a night 472 00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:10,040 huddled beneath the sheets, wrapped in each other's arms. 473 00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:15,640 I thought them nights were long gone but, couple of months ago, 474 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:20,440 we went to Australia to visit Carmel's brother and he put us up in a muddie - 475 00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:24,000 that's a shack, in the middle of the bush. 476 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:31,640 Anyway, one night we went out, we got back to the muddie, we switch off the lights and... 477 00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:39,360 A giant bat, circling the room, just waiting to pounce 478 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:42,240 on one little bit of exposed flesh, 479 00:46:42,240 --> 00:46:48,880 one little bit of exposed, white, English flesh, and suck it dry. 480 00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:54,640 So that was one more night that we spent, huddled beneath the sheets, wrapped in each other's arms. 481 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:58,680 It's just a pity that it took a giant blood sucking bat 482 00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:03,280 endlessly circling round the room to make that happen. 483 00:47:14,720 --> 00:47:16,880 Well, I thought that was funny. 484 00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:27,880 Joe and Laura. Joe and Laura. 485 00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:44,280 Willy? I've got to go. 486 00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:46,080 You're not serious. 487 00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:50,120 Have you come for Willy Houlihan? Yeah. That's me. 488 00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:51,400 What's going on? 489 00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:54,440 I've done nothing wrong. 490 00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:57,080 What's going on? 491 00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,200 The money was forged. 492 00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:02,920 Look, I didn't forge it, so I've done nothing wrong. I'll go with them... 493 00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,040 I'm coming with you. 494 00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:07,080 You're not. I'm coming with you! You are not! 495 00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:11,200 This only happened because I wanted to give Laura a good day so don't you dare spoil it. 496 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:15,800 You go in there, you tell them I've been called out to a job, a burst, an emergency. Right? 497 00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:19,640 I've done nothing wrong so I'll be out in no time. 498 00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,400 I'll be back here in no time. Right? Right. 499 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:23,600 Go back. 500 00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:27,080 I love you. 501 00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:32,040 What? 502 00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:36,640 I love YOU. 503 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,120 I love you. 504 00:48:44,240 --> 00:48:46,080 Well, I am your wife. 505 00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:00,360 I found 20 grand in a taxi. 506 00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,040 An Omega Cab. I put it on red. 507 00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,360 Red won. And I gave 20 grand back to Omega. 508 00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:06,360 Course you did, Willy. 509 00:49:24,720 --> 00:49:28,960 Is this the woman you gave the money to, Willy? Yeah. 510 00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:33,520 This man says he found £20,000 in one of your taxis and he handed it in here. 511 00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:37,920 I've never seen him before in my life. 512 00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:42,440 Please... Thanks. Come on. 513 00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:43,840 Omega Cabs. 514 00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,920 Look, I'm sorry about the driver. I'm really sorry about the driver. 515 00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:50,280 Where to? Please, tell the truth. Five or ten minutes. Please tell the truth. 516 00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:54,560 I've never seen you before in my life. Now, I'm sorry, but I'm busy. 517 00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:56,800 You're lying. I gave you 20 grand! Come on get in the car. 518 00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,640 I came here yesterday and gave her 20 grand. 519 00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:01,360 Get in the car. Get in! 520 00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:02,600 Anyone near the bridge? 521 00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:06,480 It's a perfect way of laundering money, Willy. Red or black. Even money. 522 00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,480 One day you might lose but the next day you'd win. It's perfect. 523 00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:14,680 I found it in a taxi. Who are you working for? Oh, Jesus Christ. 524 00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:18,160 The driver! 525 00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:21,120 Sorry? There's an Omega Cab driver in hospital. 526 00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:25,960 He's there because I found the money in his taxi and I didn't cough. He'll back up everything I say. 527 00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,280 Right. 528 00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,600 Glaswegian? Yeah. 529 00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:02,360 45-years-old. 530 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,240 About that. I didn't really see his face. He was driving. 531 00:51:05,240 --> 00:51:06,520 Billy Rafferty. 532 00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:09,120 He's dead, Willy. 533 00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:12,720 What? 534 00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:15,200 He died last night in hospital. 535 00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,520 Do I get a phone call or summat? 536 00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:26,240 You can let someone know where you are. 537 00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:27,680 Would you like to do that? 538 00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:30,840 Some one? 539 00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:33,080 Yeah. 540 00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:37,040 Just one? 541 00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,000 Yeah. 542 00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:43,440 Number? 543 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,360 Good luck, Son. 544 00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:02,080 Cheers, everyone. 545 00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:15,680 Hello. 546 00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,600 Let me speak to your mam. 547 00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:21,200 Bye! Bye! Good time! 548 00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:22,280 Dad. 549 00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:24,320 Hello. 550 00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:25,880 How's it going? 551 00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:27,160 'Fine. They've just got off.' 552 00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:31,640 What's happening? 553 00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,280 It's not looking too good, love. 554 00:52:56,080 --> 00:52:58,960 Sorry. Couldn't you have let me know? 555 00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:00,920 How? Phone. 556 00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:05,120 I couldn't. They only allow you one call. 557 00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:08,720 They allowed you one call? 558 00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:13,680 They allowed you one phone call? 559 00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:17,400 Yeah. 560 00:53:20,240 --> 00:53:21,280 Who did you phone? 561 00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,280 Carmel. 562 00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:28,040 If they find you guilty, what'll you get? 563 00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:33,800 What'll you get? 564 00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:37,600 He was trying to prepare me for the worst so he gave me the worst case scenario. 565 00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,240 It's not necessarily... What'll you get? Five or six years! 566 00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:54,120 I can't do without you for five or six weeks, never mind five or six years. 567 00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:59,400 Look, I'm not guilty. Right? I've done nothing wrong so they'll find me not guilty. 568 00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:04,400 What about you? Can you do without me? 569 00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:09,600 The truth? 570 00:55:13,240 --> 00:55:14,440 Yeah. 571 00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:19,280 I thought I could once. 572 00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:23,120 But I was wrong. 573 00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:31,360 I'm not guilty so it's not going to happen. 574 00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:17,840 Members of the jury, are you agreed upon a verdict? 575 00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:19,720 We are. 576 00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:26,160 Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty of the passing of counterfeit money? 577 00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:27,800 Guilty. 578 00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:33,440 And is that the verdict of you all? Yes. 579 00:56:35,240 --> 00:56:38,720 Mr Anderson. Your Honour, my client is a man of impeccable character. 580 00:56:38,720 --> 00:56:45,200 A loving husband and father, he has never been in trouble before, no criminal record whatsoever. 581 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:49,480 He left school at 16, served his apprenticeship, set up his own company 582 00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:53,080 and has not missed a single day's work in his life. 583 00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:59,320 He has been married for 25 years, Your Honour, to his wife Carmel and she is here supporting him today. 584 00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:03,000 A truly loving and stable relationship. 585 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:07,360 They have three children, a young woman of 23 years of age, 586 00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:10,960 very recently married with all that that implies in terms of financial 587 00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:15,040 and emotional stress, and two teenage sons. 588 00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:18,880 All three are of impeccable character. 589 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:22,640 And like their mother, they love their father dearly. 590 00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:25,680 This is a respectable, loving and functioning family, 591 00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:31,080 and whilst my client understands that you will have to pass a custodial sentence, 592 00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:35,880 I would beg you, Your Honour, to show as much leniency as possible in this case. 593 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,880 There is a great irony to all this, Your Honour. 594 00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:44,200 Only months ago my client and his wife celebrated their silver wedding anniversary. 595 00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:49,120 This was swiftly followed by the marriage of their daughter. 596 00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:53,520 These two events were costly. My client found himself in desperate need of money 597 00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:58,240 because he wanted to do his best for his wife and his family. 598 00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,760 Whatever he did, your honour, he did it for people he loved. 599 00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:05,760 Thank you. 600 00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:14,640 William Houlihan, 601 00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:16,520 you will go to prison for six years. 602 00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,840 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 603 00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:06,520 E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk