>> CHRIS, ARE WE CLOSE TO
SOMEPLACE?
'CAUSE I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR NO
PRIDE WALK.
>> Chris: YOU KNOW, I GOT TO
SAY, DOREEN, I AM SO HAPPY WE
HOOKED UP.
I CAN'T WAIT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO
MY FRIEND BRETT OR TO HIS
ROTTING CORPSE IF HE'S BEEN DEAD
FOR SEVERAL YEARS WHEN WE
FINALLY FIND HIM.
>> GUY SOUNDS LIKE A LOAF.
>> Susie: YOU SURE IT WAS A GOOD
IDEA TO BRING ALONG DOREEN?
>> [ SCREAMS ]
QUIT CARVING ME.
>> Susie: DON'T DO THAT TO HIM!
>> OH, EAT IT, PUMPKINHEAD.
>> Chris: OH, NOW, COME ON,
LADIES, PLEASE.
DON'T DO THAT.
>> HEY, THERE, FELLOW TRAVELERS.
WHERE YOU HEADED?
>> Chris: OKAY, I KNOW WHAT THIS
IS.
UH, YOU'LL LET US PASS IF WE
SOLVE YOUR RIDDLES THREE, AND
THE ANSWERS ARE UNDER YOUR BALLS
TWO.
NO, THANK YOU.
>> Susie: UH, WE'RE LOOKING FOR
THE LOST CITY OF KARTUUK.
>> KARTUUK, HUH?
WELL, THAT MUST BE ALL THE WAY
DOWNRIVER.
ABOUT 60 MILES, AS THE CROW
SWIMS.
IT JUST SO HAPPENS, I'M HEADED
THAT DIRECTION MYSELF.
NAME'S GRIBBS.
FRANKLIN GRIBBS.
>> Susie: WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN
HELP US, MR. GRIBBS.
WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE WE'RE
GOING.
>> Chris: MM.
>> WELL, MAYBE WE CAN HELP EACH
OTHER.
I'D BE HAPPY TO NAVIGATE THIS
RIVER IF YOU TWO CAN PROVIDE THE
VESSEL.
DO YOU HAVE A VESSEL?
>> HUH?
[ SCREAMING ]
>> Susie: SO, MR. GRIBBS, WHAT
BRINGS YOU OUT TO THE JUNGLE?
>> AS YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED,
I'M IN THE BLOOPER BUSINESS.
ANIMAL BLOOPERS.
NOWADAYS, THE BIG MONEY IS IN
RARE AND EXOTIC BLOOPERS, AND
THIS PLACE IS A GOLD MINE.
I RECKON, IF I CAN FIND A
HARLEQUIN PYGMY SLOTH IN THIS
HERE JUNGLE AND GET IT TO BLOOP
ON THIS HERE CAMERA, THEN THIS
HERE GRIBBS WOULD BE A WEALTHY
MAN.
>> Susie: WOW.
ALL RIGHT.
>> HEY, CHRIS.
>> Chris: HMM?
>> I GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
>> Chris: OH.
HONEY, IF THIS IS ANOTHER ONE
OF YOUR WAYNE GRETZKY CONSPIRACY
THEORIES, I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I
BELIEVE YOU.
>> I'M PREGNANT.
>> Chris: [ GASPS ]
SO YOU ARE.
IS IT MINE?
OF COURSE IT'S YOURS, YOU PANSY.
HERE, FEEL HIM KICK LIKE A
GIRL LIKE HIS OLD MAN.
>> Chris: OH, WHAT A BLESSING!
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THE LAST
TIME WE BUMPED, I GAVE YOU A
LITTLE EXTRA...
[ GRUNTS ]
BOOM.
[ LAUGHS ]
REMEMBER?
>> HEY, CHRIS, I NEED MY PILLS.
HIT ME WITH SOME THURSDAY.
>> Chris: YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
HOLD ON THERE, CAPPY.
ALL RIGHT.
[ GRUNTS ]
COMING AT YA.
MM.
>> Susie: WHERE ARE YOU TAKING
US?
>> TO SEE THE KING.
KNEEL.
>> WELCOME, FRIENDS.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
>> Chris: DOC SHADES?
>> IT'S KING SHADES NOW.
[ ELECTRIC GUITAR WAILING ]
>> Chris: IT'S LIKE MY WHOLE
WORLD WAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN,
AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT
THINGS WOULD JUST NEVER BE THE
SAME.
>> WOW.
THAT WAS QUITE A STORY, CHRIS.
IF WE HAD TV HERE, I WOULD
DEFINITELY CHECK OUT
"THE L WORD."
AND I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED WITH THE MARSHALS.
THEY CAUSED ME GREAT PAIN AND
ANGUISH, TOO.
[ GUNFIRE ]
>> Susie: SO, HOW DID
DOC GARDNER BECOME KING SHADES?
>> HANG ON. DR. PETE GARDNER?
THE SLIM REAPER?
>> WELL, THAT WAS MANY YEARS
AND MANY JUNGLE PIES AGO.
>> YOU KILLED ALL THOSE COMA
PATIENTS, RIGHT?
>> NOW, THOSE PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE
BEEN ALIVE, BUT, TRUST ME, THEY
WEREN'T LIVING.
>> Chris: WELL...
>> THAT'S NOT LIVING.
>> Chris: ...I THINK WE ALL NEED
TO GET A LITTLE SHUT-EYE BEFORE
WE HEAD OUT TOMORROW AND FIND
BRETT.
>> I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS,
CHRIS, BUT BRETT'S DEAD.
>> Chris: WHA?
>> Susie: WHAT?
>> Chris: [ SQUEALS ]
>> HE CAME THROUGH THIS AREA
YEARS AGO WITH A GROUP OF WEIRD
GUYS DRESSED IN ROBES.
THEN THEY KILLED HIM.
>> TYPICAL LOAF MOVE.
>> Chris: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE
CAME ALL THIS WAY FOR NOTHING.
>> WELL, NOT FOR NOTHING, GUYS.
WE FOUND EACH OTHER!
>> Chris: YEAH. YIPEE.
>> THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR YOU
IN THE WORLD OF MAN.
STAY HERE WITH ME AND THESE
MOE HOWARD COSPLAYERS.
LIVE LIKE KINGS.
>> Susie: MAYBE HE'S RIGHT,
CHRIS.
WE'VE BEEN WANDERING FOR YEARS.
BRETT IS GONE.
MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST STAY HERE
WHERE IT'S SAFE.
WE COULD RAISE YOUR BABY
TOGETHER.
>> HEY, STAY AWAY FROM MY BABY,
SKINCH.
YOU WANT A KID?
ADOPT ONE OF THESE
GOOGLUHMOOGLUHS.
>> WELL, CHRIS, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
>> Chris: I THINK YOU HAVE A
DEAL.
>> OH, NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE.
HAD A DEAL.
YOU SAID YOU WOULD TAKE ME
DOWNRIVER TO FIND THE PYGMY
SLOTH.
GUESS YOU WOULDN'T MIND THEN IF
I TAKE YOUR BOAT?
>> HEY, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALL
ALONE WITH THAT FELLA INSIDE ME.
SORRY, QUEERBONES, I DON'T FLOAT
THAT WAY.
>> HOW ABOUT THIS -- YOU COME
WITH ME AND HELP ME FIND THE
SLOTH, AND I'LL CUT YOU IN ON
HALF THE PROFITS.
AND I'LL HAVE YOU BACK IN TWO
SUNUPS.
>> HEY, THIS BABY'S GOT CHAMPALE
TASTE.
WE'RE DOING IT.
>> Chris: OKAY.
>> JACKPOT.
BOOGIE TIME.
[ SLOTH SCREECHES ]
COME ON. BLOOP FOR ME, BABY.
BLOOP.
[ SLOTH SHRIEKING ]
HEIL HITLER!
I MEAN YES!
>> Chris: WE'RE RICH.
>> Susie: I'M GOING TO FINALLY
DEVELOP MY APP-PALS MUSICAL THAT
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN MEANING TO TALK
ABOUT.
>> I'M GONNA START THE
FRANKLIN GRIBBS FOUNDATION AND
MAKE A GENEROUS GRANT TO PBS SO
THEY CAN CONTINUE TO BRING YOU
QUALITY PROGRAMMING LIKE
"HOUSE OF MOSS."
TOO BAD I'LL HAVE TO SHARE
CREDIT WITH VIEWERS LIKE YOU.
>> Chris: WHAT DO YOU GOT THERE,
HONEY?
>> JUST SOME CRAP I SWIPED FROM
THAT DOCTOR CHUMP WHILE YOU
TWO WERE WORD-HUMPING.
>> Susie: WHY DON'T YOU COME SIT
BY US, GRIBBS?
>> SO YOU CAN PUSH ME INTO THE
FIRE AND STEAL MY BLOOPER?
NICE TRY, TOOTS.
ONE THING YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT
FRANKLIN P. GRIBBS IS HE DOESN'T
LIKE GETTING SCHEMED.
>> Susie: I WASN'T TRYING TO
SCHEME --
>> AW, SAVE IT, SWEET CHEEKS.
THE FOUR OF YOUS A REGULAR DREAM
SCHEME TEAM JUST WAITING FOR
THE RIGHT MOMENT TO BAMBOOZLE
OLD GRIBBSY SO YOU CAN RUN OFF
WITH THIS BLOOPER FOOTAGE.
WELL, YOU CAN FORGET IT.
>> OH, WHATEVER.
HEY, CHRIS, NOW THAT WE'RE RICH,
I NEED TO MAKE SURE ME AND THE
BABY IS TAKEN CARE OF.
I WANT A CHILD-SUPPORT
AGREEMENT -- HALF IN CASH, HALF
IN BANANAS, LIKE WE TALKED
ABOUT.
>> Chris: WELL, HONEY, WE
HAVEN'T BEEN PAID YET.
>> OH, WHAT'S THAT?
OH, IT'S THE KICK OF
DISAPPOINTMENT.
HE ALREADY KNOWS WHAT A SACK OF
TRASH HIS DADDY IS.
>> Chris: OH, FINE. HERE.
JUST TAKE IT.
IT'S ALL I GOT.
>> AND THE BANANAS.
>> Chris: GEEZ.
>> I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LET YOU
RUIN ME!
>> Chris: UGH.
>> Susie: I TOLD YOU SHE'D BE
TROUBLE.
>> Chris: OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
LISTEN, SUSIE, CAN YOU DO ME A
FAVOR AND TRY TO TALK HER DOWN?
I'LL STAY AND WATCH
CUCKOO CHANEL.
>> Susie: DOREEN!
THIS IS STUPID.
[ MONKEY CHATTERS ]
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
KEEP YOUR FUR ON.
[ MONKEY CHATTERING ]
>> Susie: [ GASPS ]
>> [ SNORING ]
>> I GOT MY EYE ON YOU, GRAMPS.
DON'T TRY ANYTHING FUNNY.
>> Chris: HE'S SLEEPING.
>> [ MUMBLING ]
>> THAT AIN'T SLEEPING.
THAT'S NIGHT SCHEMING.
HE'S BEEN SCHEMING HIS JEANS
OVER THIS FOOTAGE SINCE THE WORD
"GO."
SAY, WHAT ABOUT YOU AND ME 86
THE OLD MAN, SPLIT HIS TAKE?
>> Chris: NO.
>> OH, I SEE.
YOU'RE JUST IN IT FOR YOURSELF,
HUH?
JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT
MOMENT TO KILL ME AND THAT SWEET
OLD MAN.
>> WE DID IT, KICKS.
WE FOOLED 'EM.
NOW ALL WE GOT TO DO IS SPLIT
THE LOOT.
$18 FOR YOU. BANANAS FOR ME.
SORRY, KICKS.
YOU KNOW TOO MUCH.
>> Susie: DON'T!
>> GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL
YOU!
>> Susie: NO!
>> Chris: NO, NO, NO, NO.
COME ON, GRIBBS.
LET'S RELAX.
LET'S HAVE CAMPFIRE TIME.
>> SCHEME! SCHEME! SCHEME!
SCHEME!
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> GINGEY?
THERE YOU ARE, GINGEY.
LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT NO
MORE, OKAY?
I BROUGHT YOU A NICE ROCK AS A
MAKE-UP PRESENT.
>> Susie: OKAY.
WHY DON'T YOU COME CLOSER?
>> WHY?
>> Susie: THROWING IS SO
IMPERSONAL.
COME HERE, AND THEN YOU CAN
CRUSH MY SKULL, LIKE PALS.
I WON'T EVEN MOVE AN INCH.
>> YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME?
>> Susie: YEAH.
I'D EVEN PLUG MY NOSE, SO MY
BRAINS SPURT OUT MY EARS AND
DON'T RUIN YOUR NICE BLOUSE.
>> AWW. YOU'RE ALL
R-I-I-I-I-I-I...
>> Susie: [ SIGHS ]
>> Chris: HEY.
THAT'S GONNA BE A KNIFE.
>> AAH!
OOH!
OOF.
>> Chris: DOC!
>> JUST AS I SUSPECTED!
HE'S FULL OF SCHEME JUICE!
>> Chris: [ GRUNTING ]
>> PUSH HIM TO ME.
>> [ SQUEALS ]
>> WELCOME TO PARADISE,
MR. GRIBBS.
>> NICE TRY, PETE.
I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR SCHEME.
I SIGN THE BIG BOOK, THEN ONE OF
YOUR MOOKS RUNS OUT WITH A
BLACKJACK TO BRAIN ME FROM
BEHIND.
THEN YOU GET MY BLOOPS.
WELL...
[ EAGLE CRIES ]
>> SAY, I COULD GET USED TO
THIS.
>> Susie: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING
ON HERE?
>> [ GROANS ]
>> Chris: DOC! DOC!
>> Susie: HANG IN THERE.
YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.
NO, STAB WOUNDS ARE ALWAYS
FATAL.
THAT'S BEEN MY EXPERIENCE.
>> Chris: HOLD ON, DOC.
>> [ GROANS ]
I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
BRETT'S NOT REALLY DEAD.
I JUST SAID THAT 'CAUSE I DIDN'T
WANT YOU TO LEAVE.
>> Susie: DOC.
>> THE ANCIENTS TOOK HIM...
TO KARTUUK.
FIND HIM, CHRIS...SUSIE.
[ GROANS ]
>> Chris: DOC? DOC?
[ Muffled ] DOC? DOC?
>> WHOA.
>> Susie: [ SIGHS ]
>> Chris: HE'S GONE.
>> SAVE SOME TEARS FOR ME, GANG.
>> Susie: [ SIGHS ]
I'M SO SORRY, CAPTAIN.
>> DON'T SHED ANY TEARS FOR ME,
GANG.
I HAD A GREAT LIFE.
I WAS A HUSBAND, A GRAND-COUSIN,
AND EVEN A BOAT.
FIND MOBLEY.
FINISH THIS THING ALREADY.
I...AH...
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
OH. RIGHT.
[ SCREAMS ]
[ SLOTH SCREECHING ]
>> ♪ YOU WERE MY EVERYTHING
♪ ALL MY EGGS IN ONE BASKET
♪ MY WORLD WAS EVERY SPRING
♪ YOU WERE MY EVERYTHING
♪ YOU WERE