>> Chris: ♪ BING BOP BEEP BOP
♪ BO BA DEE DEE DEE BOO BEE
♪ BOP BOP BOM BOM BEEP BOOP
♪ DOOWOOP
I THINK THAT ONE'S CALLED
"HOTEL CALIFORNIA."
AND NOW I'D LIKE TO DO FOR YOU
SOME-- [GASPS]
OOH.
>> Susie: WHAT?
>> Chris: I JUST GOT THE
DISTINCT SENSATION DOWN IN MY
FAMILY PARTS THAT SOMEBODY OUT
THERE NEEDS MY HELP, AND IT'S
KIND OF GETTING ME GOING.
PULL OVER, SUSIE.
I GOT TO FIND A FILENE'S
CHANGING ROOM.
>> Susie: NO, WE ARE NOT
STOPPING.
WE'RE ON THE RUN.
WE'RE FUGITIVES.
>> Chris: ♪ BO TAY HO TAY BOO
♪ DEE BOO DEE BOO
[ GRUNTS ]
SHEESH.
WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
THIS PLACE IS REALLY SUCKING THE
HORNY RIGHT OUT OF MY DOCKERS.
>> [ HUMMING ]
>> Susie: THAT WAS PROBABLY THE
GUY THAT NEEDED YOUR HELP.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
>> Chris: WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
WHOA.
HANG ON.
>> Susie: WHAT'S WRONG?
>> Chris: [ CHUCKLES ]
SUSIE, ARE YOU BLIND?
LOOK AROUND.
EVERYBODY'S SHOES ARE SCUFFED.
>> Susie: SO?
>> Chris: SO NO WONDER THIS
PLACE HAS HIT THE SKIDS.
NOBODY WANTS TO DO BUSINESS WITH
A MAN WITH DIRTY SHOES.
THESE ARE THE POOR SAPS I WAS
MEANT TO HELP.
>> Susie: YOU REALLY THINK IT'S
A GOOD IDEA TO STOP OUR SEARCH
FOR BRETT TO SOLVE THE CASE OF
THE SCUFFED SHOES?
>> Chris: EXCUSE ME, WRINKLES.
WHERE MIGHT A GENTLEMAN WITH THE
PUREST OF INTENTIONS FIND A
YOUNG SHOESHINE BOY IN THIS FAIR
TOWN OF YOURS?
>> SHOESHINE BOYS?
[ CHUCKLES ]
WHY, MILLBROOK'S NOT SEEN A
SHINE BOY IN NEAR NOVER
25 YEARS.
>> Chris: WELL, WHAT HAPPENED TO
THEM?
>> OH, ONE DAY THEY JUST ALL UP
AND LEFT US.
NO ONE EVER FOUND WHERE THEY
WENT.
>> Susie: HUH!
CASE CLOSED.
>> Chris: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
SUSAN, MEIN PAPPY ONCE TOLD ME
THAT A MAN IS ONLY AS GOOD AS
THE SHINE ON HIS SHOES.
WE'RE GONNA GIVE THIS POOR TOWN
ITS SHINE BACK.
>> Susie: CHRIS, I DON'T THINK
THAT WE HAVE TIME F--
>> Chris: OKAY, GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, WE GOT EVERYTHING.
WE GOT RAGS, WE GOT SHOE POLISH
MADE FROM COCOA BUTTER AND
CAPTAIN'S LUNG HACKINGS.
AND WE'RE...OH, OKAY.
LOOK ALIVE, OLIVIER.
COME ON.
SAY, THIS HERE SHOESHINE BOY IS
GIVING ME THE SHINE OF A
LIFETIME AT A PRICE AFFORDABLE
TO ALL.
>> SHINE? SHOESHINE BOY?
HERE?
>> SHINE?
>> SHOESHINE?
>> KILL HIM!
[ SIREN WAILING ]
>> GET THAT SHINE BOY!
[ ALL SHOUTING ]
>> Chris: IT'S WORKING.
THEY THINK YOU'RE A BOY.
>> Susie: RUN, YOU IDIOT!
>> OVER HERE, FELLA!
[ PANTING ]
YOU WAS LUCKY I CAUGHT YOU IN
TIME.
THOSE MILLBROOKERS WOULD'VE TORN
YOU LIMB FROM LIMB.
THEY DON'T TAKE TO OUR KIND UP
THERE IN THE HUMAN WORLD.
>> Susie: WHERE ARE WE?
>> Chris: I DON'T KNOW, BUT
DADDY LIKEY.
UNDERGROUND WORLD -- CHECK.
WEIRDOS THAT DON'T CONSIDER
THEMSELVES HUMAN -- DOUBLE
CHECK.
>> BUSINESSMAN!
>> Chris: HEY! WHOA.
FELLAS, I AIN'T NO BUSINESSMAN.
>> HE'S CLEAN.
>> Susie: AND I'M NOT A
SHINE BOY.
I'M A LADY.
>> LADY!
>> Chris: HEY. HEY.
BACK OFF, YOU CREEPS.
>> JUST KIDDING, MISTER.
SHINE BOYS DON'T HAVE FAMILY
PARTS.
NOW, WHAT BRINGS YOU TWO TO
THESE PARTS?
>> Chris: WELL, WE'RE LOOKING
FOR THE LOST SHINE BOYS OF
MILLBROOK.
>> YOU DON'T SAY.
FELLAS, WHERE'S YOUR
HOSPITALI-SHINE?
>> Chris: [ GASPS ]
OH, MY GOD!
IT'S REALLY YOU!
>> WELCOME TO SHINEYTOWN, FOLKS.
NAME'S SPATS, AND THESE ARE THE
FELLAS.
>> Chris: [ Chuckling ] HI.
WHY DID YOU GUYS ABANDON THOSE
BLOODTHIRSTY MANIACS UP THERE?
>> WE DIDN'T ABANDON SQUAT.
THEY RAN US OFF 25 SHINE YEARS
AGO.
32 HUMAN YEARS.
EVERYTHING WAS HUNKY-DORY
BETWEEN US AND THEN UP UNTIL ONE
DAY WHEN TWO SHINE BOYS, BOTH
WITH THE NEED FOR QUICK SHINES
THEMSELVES, GOT THE NOTION THAT
SHINING EACH OTHER'S SHOES MIGHT
BE MORE COMFORTABLE THAN
SELF-SHINING.
>> Chris: HUH.
>> THAT'S WHEN WE INVENTED
60-SHINING.
IT'S THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
YOU GET TO SHINE SHOES AND YOU
GET TO GET YOUR SHOES SHINED.
OH, IT MAKES THE SOUL SING,
MISTER.
BUT THE TOWNSFOLK THOUGHT THERE
WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT.
THEY SAID 60-SHINING WAS
UNNATURAL, AN ABOMINATION.
>> A SHOESHINE IS BETWEEN A
SHINE BOY AND A BUSINESSMAN, NOT
A SHINE BOY AND A -- A SHINE BOY
NAMED STEVE.
>> KILL THEM!
[ SIREN WAILING ]
>> THEY CHASED US AWAY, AND WE
FOUND THIS PLACE.
[ MOB SHOUTING ]
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
HERE WE CAN SPEND OUR DAYS DOING
WHAT COMES NATURAL, 60-SHINING,
GLAZEY CHAINS, SOLE TRAINS --
SPELLED S-O-L-E.
>> Susie: WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE
YOU GUYS HAVE IT ALL FIGURED
OUT, SO WE'RE JUST GONNA --
>> Chris: NO. NO. NO. NO.
NOT SO FAST.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO HIDE DOWN
HERE.
>> NO, CHRIS.
WE SHOULD.
WE'RE DISGUSTING THROUGH AND
THROUGH.
>> Chris: OH, SPATS.
YOU KNOW, THOSE PEOPLE UP THERE,
THEY'RE NOT EVIL.
THEY'RE JUST OLD-FASHIONED AND
QUICK TO RAGE.
IF WE COULD CONVINCE THEM OF THE
INNOCENCE OF YOUR JOY, THEN
THEY'D ACCEPT YOU.
>> BUT HOW, CHRIS?
>> Chris: WELL, YOU SAID THAT
60-SHINING MAKES YOUR SOUL SING.
>> YEAH. I SAID THAT.
>> Chris: SO WHY DON'T WE TRY TO
WIN THEM OVER WITH A SONG?
HUH?
♪ SHINE, SHINE, SHOOBELY SHINE
♪ I'LL SHINE YOUR SHOES IF YOU
SHINE MINE ♪
>> ♪ SHINE, SHINE, DOOBELY
DINE ♪
♪ THE POLISH FLOWS LIKE A
HEAVENLY WINE ♪
>> All: ♪ SHINE, SHINE, SHOOBELY
SHINE ♪
♪ I SHINE YOUR SHOES AND YOU
SHINE MINE ♪
WHOA!
♪ SHINE, SHINE, SHOOBELY SHINE
♪ GONNA SHINE, SHINE, SHOOBELY
SHI-INE ♪
>> ♪ SHINING SHOES CHASE AWAY
THEM BLUES ♪
>> All: ♪ SHINE, SHINE, SHOOBELY
SHI-INE ♪
>> ♪ IT'S THE POLISH, IT'S THE
LEATHER ♪
>> ♪ IT'S THE WAY THEY GO
TOGETHER ♪
>> All: ♪ SHINE, SHINE, SHOOBELY
SHINE ♪
>> Chris: COME ON, GUYS!
>> EVERYBODY!
>> All: ♪ SHINE, SHINE, SHOOBELY
SHINE ♪
♪ SHINE, SHINE, SHOOBELY
SHI-INE ♪
>> ♪ EVERYBODY GONNA SHINE
>> All: ♪ EVERYBODY GONNA
SHINE ♪
>> ♪ EVERYBODY GONNA SHINE
>> All: ♪ GONNA SHOOBELY SHINE
>> Chris: PEOPLE OF MILLBROOK,
IT'S TIME TO PUT AWAY DECADES OF
PREJUDICE.
THESE SHINE BOYS AREN'T
MONSTERS.
THEY'RE JUST A BUNCH OF MILDLY
WEIRD-LOOKING, SMALL, CREEPY
GUYS.
LET'S LOOK TO OUR HEARTS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, FOLKS?
>> WE MAY HAVE JUDGED YOU BOYS A
LITTLE HARSHLY.
YEAH!
>> Together: ♪ SHINE, SHINE,
SHOOBELY SHINE ♪
>> GET KNEELIN' AND START THE
HEALIN', BOYS!
>> Together: ♪ SHINE, SHINE,
SHOOBELY SHI-INE ♪
♪ SHINE, SHINE
>> Susie: ALL RIGHT.
YOU WIN.
>> YOUR SHOES ARE ALL SO CLEAN.
>> 25 YEARS OF NONSTOP SHINING.
I FIGURE THEY'VE GOT TO BE ABOUT
THE SHINIEST THINGS ON EARTH.
[ WARBLING ]
>> GOD! T-THERE TOO SHINY!
[ PEOPLE SCREAMING ]
[ SIREN WAILING ]
>> [ SCREAMS ]
[ GUNSHOTS ]
>> [ SCREAMS ]
[ BOTH SCREAM ]
>> NOW SHINE AND BECOME DEATH,
DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
>> FROGGY! DON'T!
>> COMMERCIAL PLANE DOWN.
MISSILES FIRED.
SCRAMBLE EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT.
WE'RE TAKING OUT MILLBROOK.
[ RAPID GUNFIRE ]
>> WHAT ARE WE DOING?
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE
FUCK WE'RE DOING?!
>> CHILL OUT, HAMMERHEAD!
CHILL THE FUCK OUT!
>> NO!
[ SIREN CONTINUES ]
[ GUNFIRE ]
>> [ GRUNTS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
>> WHOA.
[ CAR HORN BUZZES ]
[ SMACKS ]
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> WOW!
[ HORSE NEIGHS ]
[ SMACKS ]
>> [ SNEEZES ]
[ SLIDE WHISTLE ]
[ EXPLOSION ]
[ EXPLOSIONS IN DISTANCE ]
>> Chris: WELL, I GOT TO HAND IT
TO YOU, OLD LADY.
YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT ABOUT THESE
SHINE BOYS.
>> OH, SHUT UP, IDIOT.
YOU RUINED OUR TOWN.
EVERYBODY I KNOW IS DEAD.
>> Chris: WELL, PARDON ME FOR
TRYING TO HELP.
GEEZ, YOU BELIEVE THIS HAG?
>> [ SNARLS ]
>> Susie: HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU WAS ONE
OF THEM DEAD BODIES.
>> Chris: OH!
SWEET JEHOVAH!
EITHER I'VE SUFFERED SOME
SHINE-RELATED CORNEAL DAMAGE OR
YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
I HAVE EVER SEEN.
>> DOREEN.
>> Chris: AH.
MMM. MM. OH.
[ CRUNCHING ]
>> Susie: AH! AH!
STOP IT!
>> WHAT?
I WAS JUST TAKING HIS TEETH.
NOT SO I COULD BARTER WITH THE
TOOTH BARON.
SO WE CAN MAKE OUT.
>> Chris: OH.
>> Susie: NO. NO. NO.
WE ARE NOT PICKING UP ANY MORE
WEIRD WOMEN.
>> Chris: MM!
>> I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
I'M COMING FOR YOU!
>> Chris: SHEILA! NO!
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> Chris: THIS ENDS NOW.
>> [ GROANS ]
>> Chris: [ GASPS ]
OH, GOD.
SPATS.
>> [ Whimpering ] SHOE...ME.
SHOE...ME.
[ HORN HONKS ]
>> Susie: WE'RE DONE HERE.
>> Chris: YES, WE ARE.
AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I
THINK WE WERE VERY HELPFUL.
>> ♪ DA, DA, DA, DA, DA
♪ LA, DA, DA, DA, DA, DA
♪ DA, DAM, DA, DA, DA