1
00:00:02,646 --> 00:00:05,938
>> Chris: [ GROANS ]

2
00:00:09,354 --> 00:00:11,729
>> ARE WE SOMEWHERE?
I GOT TO USE THE CAN.

3
00:00:11,813 --> 00:00:13,521
>> Chris: WELL, I'M SURE THEY
HAVE ONE INSIDE, DEAR.

4
00:00:13,604 --> 00:00:14,313
JUST CHECK FOR CAMERAS.

5
00:00:14,396 --> 00:00:16,396
I THINK CHUCK BERRY OWNS THIS
JOINT.

6
00:00:16,479 --> 00:00:17,563
>> YEAH, I KNOW.

7
00:00:17,646 --> 00:00:19,896
>> Chris: [ CHUCKLES ]
SHE IS SO SWEET.

8
00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:22,938
HI, UH, CAN YOU FILL IT UP WITH
ETHYL AND THEN JUST TOP IT OFF

9
00:00:23,021 --> 00:00:24,229
WITH A LITTLE AMYL?

10
00:00:24,313 --> 00:00:25,396
I LIKE MY EXHAUST LEAKY.

11
00:00:25,479 --> 00:00:26,896
[ SUCKS TEETH ]
[ CLICKS TONGUE ]

12
00:00:26,979 --> 00:00:29,146
>> Susie: MAYBE THERE'S
SOMEPLACE IN TOWN WE CAN STAY
THE NIGHT.

13
00:00:29,979 --> 00:00:31,271
>> TAKING THESE TWO SODAS,
SMOKEY.

14
00:00:31,354 --> 00:00:32,313
HERE'S A NICKLE TO KEEP YOUR
MOUTH SHUT.

15
00:00:32,396 --> 00:00:34,688
[ NICKLE CLINKS ]
RAT-A-TAT-TAT, BOOM, BOOM, BABY!

16
00:00:34,771 --> 00:00:36,729
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> Chris: [ SCOFFS ]

17
00:00:36,813 --> 00:00:39,396
I'M NOT GONNA STAY IN THIS
2 1/2-BIT TOWN.

18
00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,271
THEY OBVIOUSLY HAVE SOME SORT OF
DUMBASS RAT PACK-REVIVAL,

19
00:00:42,354 --> 00:00:43,979
HELL'S-A-POPPIN' CRAP GOING ON
HERE.

20
00:00:44,063 --> 00:00:46,021
>> CHRIS MONSANTO!

21
00:00:46,354 --> 00:00:47,271
>> Chris: OH, CRAP.

22
00:00:47,354 --> 00:00:50,479
UH...LISTEN, JUST, UH, AIM FOR
MY FACE, WILL YOU?

23
00:00:50,563 --> 00:00:52,979
I DON'T WANT TO LOOK TOO PRETTY
WHEN THOSE MORGUE PERVS GET

24
00:00:53,063 --> 00:00:53,979
THEIR HANDS INSIDE ME.

25
00:00:54,063 --> 00:00:56,354
>> [ CHUCKLES ]

26
00:00:57,771 --> 00:01:00,438
>> Chris: MARTIN SHEEN!>> [ CHU]
HOW YOU DOING?

27
00:01:00,521 --> 00:01:04,146
GOSH, YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
SUCH A BIG, BIG FAN OF YOURS.

28
00:01:04,229 --> 00:01:05,646
>> Chris: OH, SAME HERE,
MR. SHEEN.

29
00:01:05,729 --> 00:01:06,313
SAME HERE.

30
00:01:06,396 --> 00:01:08,271
AND -- AND THIS IS, UM, SUSIE.

31
00:01:08,354 --> 00:01:11,229
AND, UH, THE DESK OVER THERE IS
OUR FRIEND CAPTAIN.

32
00:01:11,313 --> 00:01:12,104
>> HEY.

33
00:01:12,188 --> 00:01:14,313
>> WHO IS THIS, UH, SWEET YOUNG
LADY HERE?

34
00:01:14,396 --> 00:01:17,604
>> Chris: OH, WELL, THIS, UH,
LITTLE MORSEL IS CALLED TRISH.

35
00:01:17,688 --> 00:01:18,396
>> [ French Accent ] OH, HO, HO!

36
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:19,729
MON AMIE!

37
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:23,229
[ SMOOCHES ]
>> Susie: [ GIGGLES ]

38
00:01:23,313 --> 00:01:25,146
THE LEGENDARY SHEEN CHARM.

39
00:01:25,229 --> 00:01:27,313
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
[ Normal voice ] HEY, YOU KNOW,

40
00:01:27,396 --> 00:01:30,063
I'M DOING THIS COP MOVIE, AND I
WONDER IF YOU'D DO ME A FAVOR.

41
00:01:30,146 --> 00:01:32,938
LET ME RIDE ALONG WITH YOU FOR A
LITTLE BIT JUST TO KIND OF FEEL

42
00:01:33,021 --> 00:01:33,604
THE CHARACTER.

43
00:01:33,688 --> 00:01:35,063
>> Chris: OH, GEEZ, MR. SHEEN.

44
00:01:35,146 --> 00:01:37,646
WE'D LOVE TO HELP YOU OUT, BUT
UNFORTUNATELY WE'RE NOT MARSHALS

45
00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:38,271
ANYMORE.

46
00:01:38,354 --> 00:01:39,188
WE'RE FUGITIVES.

47
00:01:39,271 --> 00:01:41,271
>> [ GASPS ]
I'M DOING A FUGITIVE MOVIE, TOO!

48
00:01:41,354 --> 00:01:43,479
[ LAUGHS ]
HEY, BUY ME LUNCH.

49
00:01:43,563 --> 00:01:44,479
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT.

50
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,146
>> MONSANTO!

51
00:01:46,229 --> 00:01:47,313
[ GUN COCKS ]
I'M GETTING THAT BOUNTY.

52
00:01:47,396 --> 00:01:50,479
>> OHH.

53
00:01:50,563 --> 00:01:51,854
>> OH, NO.

54
00:01:51,938 --> 00:01:54,604
I KILLED MARTIN SHEEN.

55
00:02:00,229 --> 00:02:01,396
>> Chris: MARTY, I'M SO SORRY.
>> [ Weakly ] NO. IT'S OKAY.

56
00:02:01,479 --> 00:02:02,104
GET CLOSE.

57
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,521
I-I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

58
00:02:03,604 --> 00:02:06,354
>> Chris: MR. SHEEN, IT WOULD BE
MY HONOR TO HEAR YOUR LAST

59
00:02:06,438 --> 00:02:06,813
WORDS.

60
00:02:06,896 --> 00:02:11,438
>> [ GRUNTS ]

61
00:02:12,604 --> 00:02:15,063
>> Susie: WE SHOULD PROBABLY GO.
>> Chris: GEEZ, I-I FEEL REALLY
DIFFERENT.

62
00:02:15,146 --> 00:02:19,188
I THINK HE JUST BREATHED HIS
SOUL INTO ME.

63
00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:20,188
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

64
00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:21,021
MARTIN SHEEN WAS ONE OF THE
GREATS.

65
00:02:21,104 --> 00:02:25,729
AND NOW THAT GREATNESS IS INSIDE
ME.

66
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,104
[ CHUCKLES ] OH.

67
00:02:32,979 --> 00:02:34,354
>> I'M TIRED.

68
00:02:34,438 --> 00:02:37,521
CAN WE SEE IF THAT'S ONE OF
THOSE SLEEPING MOTELS?

69
00:02:37,604 --> 00:02:40,021
>> Chris: I THINK THAT'S ONE OF
THOSE MONEY-CHARGING HOTELS.

70
00:02:40,104 --> 00:02:42,854
WHY DON'T WE JUST, UH, GO SLEEP
IN THE DIRT OVER THERE.

71
00:02:42,938 --> 00:02:44,479
IT'S BETTER LUMBAR SUPPORT.

72
00:02:44,563 --> 00:02:46,229
>> Susie: WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH
A CHEAPSKATE?

73
00:02:46,313 --> 00:02:47,229
>> Chris: [ CHUCKLES ]
CHEAPSKATE.

74
00:02:47,313 --> 00:02:50,479
[ LAUGHS ]
HEY, LOOK AT THAT -- A PAY
PHONE.

75
00:02:51,313 --> 00:02:53,521
[ CHUCKLES ]
OH, HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

76
00:02:53,604 --> 00:02:55,896
[ LAUGHS ]
A DIME.

77
00:02:55,979 --> 00:02:58,521
>> Susie: WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO
WEIRD?

78
00:02:58,604 --> 00:02:59,604
>> Chris: GEEZ, I DON'T KNOW.

79
00:02:59,688 --> 00:03:01,438
I'VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY ABOUT A
DIME BEFORE.

80
00:03:01,521 --> 00:03:02,604
[ SNIFFS ]
HEY, A DINER.

81
00:03:02,688 --> 00:03:05,604
LET'S ORDER A HUGE MEAL AND THEN
BARF ALL OVER THE TABLE.

82
00:03:05,688 --> 00:03:07,563
THEY'LL RIP UP THE BILL TO AVOID
THE PUBLICITY.

83
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,229
COME ON.

84
00:03:09,313 --> 00:03:09,771
>> HEY.

85
00:03:09,854 --> 00:03:11,313
MARTIN'S ON TV.

86
00:03:11,396 --> 00:03:13,813
VETERAN ACTOR MARTIN SHEEN
RANG THE BELL AT THE

87
00:03:13,896 --> 00:03:14,771
NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE THIS
MORNING.

88
00:03:14,854 --> 00:03:17,563
HE'S STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE.

89
00:03:17,646 --> 00:03:20,854
MEANWHILE, HIS BROTHER,
JOE ESTEVEZ, WAS SHOT DEAD

90
00:03:20,938 --> 00:03:22,521
OUTSIDE A GAS STATION.

91
00:03:22,604 --> 00:03:25,229
ESTEVEZ, SEEN HERE WITH HIS
ONLY KNOWN FRIEND, HIRED HIT

92
00:03:25,313 --> 00:03:27,021
MAN SAL WINNIK, WAS KNOWN
MOSTLY FOR THE LONG LIST OF

93
00:03:27,104 --> 00:03:30,146
RESTAURANTS FROM WHICH HE'S
BEEN BANNED.

94
00:03:30,229 --> 00:03:32,354
>> Chris: [ SCOFFS ]
I'M NOT POSSESSED BY

95
00:03:32,438 --> 00:03:33,396
MARTIN SHEEN.

96
00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:35,438
I'M POSSESSED BY HIS DEADBEAT
BROTHER, JOE ESTEVEZ.

97
00:03:35,521 --> 00:03:36,479
UGH.

98
00:03:36,563 --> 00:03:38,271
>> GRUB TIME!

99
00:03:38,354 --> 00:03:40,438
[ TRIANGLE CHIMING ]
>> Chris: [ CHUCKLES ]

100
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:41,563
I'M GETTING REALLY HUNGRY.

101
00:03:41,646 --> 00:03:42,063
COME ON, GUYS.

102
00:03:42,146 --> 00:03:43,396
LET'S GO EAT A LOT.

103
00:03:45,354 --> 00:03:46,104
>> HEY! SWEET CAKES!

104
00:03:46,188 --> 00:03:48,604
LOOK, YOU WANT TO MAKE WITH THE
CHECK?

105
00:03:48,688 --> 00:03:50,938
I'D LIKE TO PAY FOR THE FOOD
WHILE IT'S STILL INSIDE ME.

106
00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:53,604
[ CHUCKLES ]
RAT-A-TAT-TAT, BOOM, BOOM, BABY.

107
00:03:53,688 --> 00:03:54,604
>> Susie: UGH.

108
00:03:54,688 --> 00:03:56,521
WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS
TOWN.

109
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:57,646
IT'S CRAWLING WITH D-BAGS.

110
00:03:57,729 --> 00:03:59,771
>> Chris: AND I GOT TO GET THIS
"D"-LISTER OUT OF ME.

111
00:03:59,854 --> 00:04:01,938
[ COUGHS ]
[ COUGHS ]

112
00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:04,563
>> THIS AIN'T MY FIRST RODEO.

113
00:04:04,646 --> 00:04:08,771
[ LAUGHS ]
[ COUGHING ]

114
00:04:08,854 --> 00:04:13,063
[ RETCHING ]

115
00:04:13,146 --> 00:04:14,479
>> CAN I START Y'ALL OFF WITH
ANYTHING?

116
00:04:14,563 --> 00:04:15,313
>> Chris: AAH!

117
00:04:15,396 --> 00:04:16,188
YES, MY GOOD MAN.

118
00:04:16,271 --> 00:04:18,563
HOW ABOUT A BOWL OF SOUP ON THE
HOUSE?

119
00:04:18,646 --> 00:04:19,688
I'M A DISABLED VET.

120
00:04:19,771 --> 00:04:22,688
I GAVE A NUT OR TWO OR THREE TO
THIS COUNTRY.

121
00:04:22,771 --> 00:04:25,313
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME
TO PAY IT FORWARD?

122
00:04:25,396 --> 00:04:26,021
>> IF YOU'RE A VET, I GUESS WE
COULD --

123
00:04:26,104 --> 00:04:27,229
>> Chris: ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?

124
00:04:27,313 --> 00:04:29,479
AND IF A FEW MEATBALLS HAPPEN TO
FALL IN, WELL, UM, MUM'S THE

125
00:04:29,563 --> 00:04:30,021
WORD.

126
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:33,854
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ GROANS ]

127
00:04:33,938 --> 00:04:36,646
>> HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
JOE ESTEVEZ, BUT IT'S DEFINITELY

128
00:04:36,729 --> 00:04:37,354
HIM.

129
00:04:37,438 --> 00:04:38,396
>> Susie: YOU'RE A VETERAN?

130
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,646
YOU TOLD ME YOU BEAT THE DRAFT
BY PRETENDING TO BE

131
00:04:39,729 --> 00:04:40,313
LAUREN BACALL.

132
00:04:40,396 --> 00:04:41,854
>> Chris: IT'S JOE ESTEVEZ.

133
00:04:41,938 --> 00:04:45,313
THAT SACK OF [BLEEP] HAS ME
RUNNING HIS SCAMS.

134
00:04:45,396 --> 00:04:46,188
>> AND CUT. GOOD.

135
00:04:46,271 --> 00:04:47,188
OKAY, THAT'S A CUT.

136
00:04:47,271 --> 00:04:48,646
[ BELL RINGS ]
CAMERAS TO LOAD.

137
00:04:48,729 --> 00:04:49,813
LET'S TAKE FIVE, GUYS.

138
00:04:49,896 --> 00:04:50,438
TURN IT AROUND.

139
00:04:50,521 --> 00:04:53,938
>> I'LL BE IN MY TRAILER.

140
00:04:54,021 --> 00:04:55,396
[ BEEPING ]

141
00:04:57,646 --> 00:04:59,771
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
>> YEP.

142
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:01,688
>> OH, HEY, CHRIS.

143
00:05:01,771 --> 00:05:03,354
>> OH, HEY, MARTY.

144
00:05:03,438 --> 00:05:03,854
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> HOW YOU DOING?

145
00:05:03,938 --> 00:05:04,688
>> YEAH, GOOD, GOOD.

146
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:05,521
DOING GOOD.

147
00:05:05,604 --> 00:05:07,854
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING A REAL

148
00:05:07,938 --> 00:05:09,354
KICK OUT OF PLAYING MY BROTHER
JOE.

149
00:05:09,438 --> 00:05:11,313
HE -- HE'S GONNA LOVE THIS WHEN
HE SEES IT.

150
00:05:11,396 --> 00:05:11,854
>> YEAH.

151
00:05:11,938 --> 00:05:13,354
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH.

152
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,354
[ SIGHS ]
I'M MARTIN SHEEN.

153
00:05:15,438 --> 00:05:19,563
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> SO, WHAT'S...UP?

154
00:05:19,646 --> 00:05:23,021
>> OH, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN
THINKING.

155
00:05:23,104 --> 00:05:25,604
YOU KNOW WHEN MY GHOST IS INSIDE
OF YOU?

156
00:05:25,688 --> 00:05:25,896
>> MM-HMM.

157
00:05:25,979 --> 00:05:26,896
>> YEAH.

158
00:05:26,979 --> 00:05:29,438
WELL, I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE
COULD DO THAT OLD

159
00:05:29,521 --> 00:05:32,354
"HEAVEN CAN WAIT" THING, YOU
KNOW, WHERE THE AUDIENCE --

160
00:05:32,438 --> 00:05:35,229
WELL, THEY SEE ME INSTEAD OF
YOU.

161
00:05:35,313 --> 00:05:36,896
>> YEAH, I-I DON'T KNOW, MARTIN.

162
00:05:36,979 --> 00:05:39,188
I MEAN, WE'VE SHOT THOSE SCENES
ALREADY.

163
00:05:39,271 --> 00:05:41,229
>> WELL, IT'S NOT EVEN MY IDEA,
YOU KNOW?

164
00:05:41,313 --> 00:05:42,063
IT'S THE PRODUCERS.

165
00:05:42,146 --> 00:05:43,646
I'M -- I'M JUST THE MESSENGER
HERE.

166
00:05:43,729 --> 00:05:44,771
>> OKAY. FINE.

167
00:05:44,854 --> 00:05:46,563
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
>> OH, HEY, THAT'S TERRIFIC!

168
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:47,896
>> OKAY.

169
00:05:47,979 --> 00:05:48,396
>> THANKS, BUB.

170
00:05:48,479 --> 00:05:49,396
>> SURE. OKAY. YEP.

171
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:53,438
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
>> SO, CHRIS HAD THIS GREAT

172
00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:54,479
IDEA.

173
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:57,854
HE WANTS ME TO PLAY HIS PART
WHEN I'M POSSESSING HIM.

174
00:05:57,938 --> 00:05:59,396
>> YEAH, I-I DON'T KNOW,
MR. SHEEN.

175
00:05:59,479 --> 00:06:01,396
>> WELL, YOU DON'T WANT TO GET
CHRIS MAD, DO YOU?

176
00:06:01,479 --> 00:06:03,646
I MEAN, IF WE DON'T DO THIS,
HE'S GONNA BE ABSOLUTELY

177
00:06:03,729 --> 00:06:04,646
FURIOUS.

178
00:06:04,729 --> 00:06:06,229
[ DOOR OPENS ]
>> HEY, CHRIS!

179
00:06:06,313 --> 00:06:07,188
>> YEAH, JOSH. WHAT UP?

180
00:06:07,271 --> 00:06:08,729
>> YOU WANT MARTIN TO REPLACE
YOU?

181
00:06:08,813 --> 00:06:11,229
>> UH, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA!

182
00:06:11,313 --> 00:06:12,146
UH, WE NEED A MINUTE.

183
00:06:12,229 --> 00:06:13,688
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
LOOK, A LITTLE PRIVATE

184
00:06:13,771 --> 00:06:14,396
CONVERSATION.

185
00:06:14,479 --> 00:06:15,729
>> DID YOU TELL HIM I SAID THAT?

186
00:06:15,813 --> 00:06:16,938
BECAUSE I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

187
00:06:17,021 --> 00:06:18,938
>> [ Sighing ] WELL, ALL RIGHT,
CHRIS.

188
00:06:19,021 --> 00:06:21,104
I TRIED TO DO THIS THE HARD WAY,
BUT YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.

189
00:06:21,188 --> 00:06:22,063
>> OH, GEEZ, MARTIN, DON'T!

190
00:06:22,146 --> 00:06:24,771
[ GUN COCKS, FIRES ]
>> [ GROANS ]

191
00:06:24,854 --> 00:06:29,688
[ HISSES ]

192
00:06:30,396 --> 00:06:31,938
>> RESCHEDULE UNTIL NEXT
TUESDAY.

193
00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:33,854
>> [ Chuckling ] HEY, HEY, HEY!

194
00:06:33,938 --> 00:06:35,104
THERE'S THE FINE GENTLEMAN I WAS
LOOKING FOR.

195
00:06:35,188 --> 00:06:39,438
I INSIST THAT MARTIN PLAYS ME IN
ALL THE POSSESSION SEQUENCES AND

196
00:06:39,521 --> 00:06:42,771
THAT HE GET PAID IN CASH OR BY
CHECK MADE OUT TO "CASH" OR

197
00:06:42,854 --> 00:06:43,354
FOOD.

198
00:06:43,438 --> 00:06:44,104
>> FINE, CHRIS.

199
00:06:44,188 --> 00:06:45,563
>> OKAY. THANKS, BUDDY. PERFECT.

200
00:06:45,646 --> 00:06:46,729
OKAY.

201
00:06:50,813 --> 00:06:56,104
[ PADDLES WHINE ]
[ THUD ]

202
00:06:56,188 --> 00:06:58,188
>> READY IN FIVE, MR. SHEEN!

203
00:06:58,271 --> 00:06:58,979
BIG FEDORA REVEAL.

204
00:06:59,063 --> 00:07:01,813
ADIóS, MUCHACHO.

205
00:07:01,896 --> 00:07:03,896
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]

206
00:07:05,438 --> 00:07:07,563
>> Chris: YEAH, WE'D LIKE A ROOM
FOR THE NIGHT, AND THAT INCLUDES
FREE ICE, RIGHT?

207
00:07:07,646 --> 00:07:11,354
>> GIVE US A HAND WITH THESE
BAGS, WILL YOU, SMOKEY?

208
00:07:11,438 --> 00:07:13,729
RAT-A-TAT-TAT, BOOM, BOOM, BABY.

209
00:07:13,813 --> 00:07:15,313
>> Chris: WHAT'S WITH THE
LANGUAGE, CAP?

210
00:07:15,396 --> 00:07:17,563
>> Susie: WHEN DID YOU GET A
FEDORA?

211
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,479
>> FEDORA?

212
00:07:19,563 --> 00:07:24,646
>> [ SCREAMS ]
[ CHITTERING ]

213
00:07:24,729 --> 00:07:26,938
>> Chris: THE HELL IS GOING ON
HERE?

214
00:07:27,021 --> 00:07:29,354
[ BELL CHIMES ]
>> WELCOME TO GORMLEY'S.

215
00:07:29,438 --> 00:07:30,646
MAY I SHOW YOU SOME HATS?

216
00:07:30,729 --> 00:07:31,979
>> Susie: WE'RE WONDERING WHAT'S
GOING ON WITH ALL THE FEDORAS

217
00:07:32,063 --> 00:07:34,188
WE'RE SEEING AROUND TOWN LATELY.

218
00:07:34,271 --> 00:07:34,771
>> Chris: SPILL IT.

219
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:35,938
>> FEDORAS?

220
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:39,438
WELL, I'D BE HAPPY TO TELL YOU
ALL ABOUT THEM RIGHT AFTER I

221
00:07:39,521 --> 00:07:42,313
POUR A NICE COLD GLASS OF ACID
DOWN MY THROAT.

222
00:07:42,396 --> 00:07:43,521
>> Susie: WAIT!

223
00:07:43,604 --> 00:07:46,229
COULD YOU JUST TELL US WHAT'S
GOING ON AND THEN KILL YOURSELF

224
00:07:46,313 --> 00:07:46,604
AFTERWARDS?

225
00:07:46,688 --> 00:07:48,313
>> FINE.

226
00:07:48,396 --> 00:07:52,521
WHAT YOU KNOW AS FEDORAS ARE
ACTUALLY AN ANCIENT RACE OF

227
00:07:52,604 --> 00:07:53,729
PARASITIC SEA CREATURES.

228
00:07:53,813 --> 00:07:57,021
THEY DISGUISE THEMSELVES AS HATS
AND LATCH ONTO THE HEADS OF

229
00:07:57,104 --> 00:07:59,354
UNSUSPECTING HUMANS.

230
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:02,479
THE FEDORA BURROWS INTO THE
HOST'S BRAIN AND TURNS THEM INTO

231
00:08:02,563 --> 00:08:03,604
A TOTAL ASSHOLE.

232
00:08:03,688 --> 00:08:04,813
>> WHERE DID YOU GET THAT HAT?

233
00:08:04,896 --> 00:08:05,854
>> WHERE DID YOU GET THAT MOUTH?

234
00:08:05,938 --> 00:08:09,563
>> SCIENTISTS HAVE DATED THEM
BACK TO CAVEMAN TIMES.

235
00:08:09,646 --> 00:08:12,521
THE LAST BIG OUTBREAK WAS DURING
THE RAT PACK ERA.

236
00:08:12,604 --> 00:08:15,938
MILLIONS OF KIND, INTELLIGENT
MEN WERE TURNED INTO

237
00:08:16,021 --> 00:08:18,771
INSUFFERABLE PRICKS, REAL PIECES
OF SHIT

238
00:08:18,854 --> 00:08:21,604
THEY WERE MORE OR LESS
ERADICATED 50 YEARS AGO, BUT

239
00:08:21,688 --> 00:08:25,854
SOMETHING MUST HAVE AWAKENED
THEM.

240
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:28,229
>> Chris: TIDAL WAVE.

241
00:08:28,313 --> 00:08:30,271
>> NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND...

242
00:08:30,354 --> 00:08:32,229
>> Susie: OF COURSE.

243
00:08:32,313 --> 00:08:40,729
[ SIZZLING ]
>> [ SCREAMS ]

244
00:08:40,813 --> 00:08:41,729
>> CUT!

245
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,479
[ BELL RINGS ]
OKAY, LET'S BRING IN THE FUNNY

246
00:08:43,563 --> 00:08:44,896
SKELETON.

247
00:08:48,146 --> 00:08:48,854
>> WHAT'S THIS?

248
00:08:48,938 --> 00:08:51,438
I SAID I WANTED A LOT OF
SPAGHETTI.

249
00:08:51,521 --> 00:08:53,438
>> IT'S A GENEROUS SERVING,
MR. SHEEN.

250
00:08:53,521 --> 00:08:55,063
>> I'M MARTIN SHEEN.

251
00:08:55,146 --> 00:08:56,396
I'M A BIG STAR.

252
00:08:56,479 --> 00:08:59,021
AND I EXPECT A LOT OF SPAGHETTI!

253
00:08:59,104 --> 00:09:00,854
>> WON'T BE NONE FOR NO ONE
ELSE.

254
00:09:00,938 --> 00:09:01,896
>> [ Sighing ] OKAY. I GET IT.

255
00:09:01,979 --> 00:09:04,646
HERE. CATCH.

256
00:09:04,729 --> 00:09:10,563
[ SIGHS ]
[ GROANS, BLOWS ]

257
00:09:20,729 --> 00:09:25,271
[ PADDLES WHINE ]
[ THUD ]

258
00:09:25,354 --> 00:09:27,271
>> WELL, THANK YOU, FINE SIR.

259
00:09:27,354 --> 00:09:29,146
>> YEAH. I FOUND HIM.

260
00:09:29,229 --> 00:09:30,354
JOE ESTEVEZ?

261
00:09:30,438 --> 00:09:31,229
>> YES?

262
00:09:31,313 --> 00:09:32,396
NO.

263
00:09:32,479 --> 00:09:34,438
>> LOOK, WE FIGURED OUT YOU'RE
NOT REALLY MARTIN SHEEN.

264
00:09:34,521 --> 00:09:37,438
>> I NEVER SAID THAT I WAS.

265
00:09:37,521 --> 00:09:39,896
WELL, AT LEAST CAN I --
>> YES.

266
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,063
YOU CAN FINISH THE SHOW.

267
00:09:41,146 --> 00:09:42,438
BUT ONLY AS THE GHOST.

268
00:09:42,521 --> 00:09:44,813
YOU'RE NOT PLAYING CHRIS
ANYMORE.

269
00:09:44,896 --> 00:09:48,354
>> WELL, GOSH, I WAS JUST GONNA
ASK IF I COULD KEEP THE

270
00:09:48,438 --> 00:09:50,313
SPAGHETTI.

271
00:09:50,396 --> 00:09:52,563
>> KILL THEM!

272
00:09:55,563 --> 00:09:58,854
>> Chris: [ CHUCKLES ]
KEEP POUNDING AWAY, PAL.

273
00:09:58,938 --> 00:10:00,938
I'M JUST HAPPY THAT LOSER'S OUT
OF ME.

274
00:10:01,021 --> 00:10:02,313
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ GROANS ]

275
00:10:02,396 --> 00:10:02,938
>> HEY!

276
00:10:03,021 --> 00:10:03,896
WHAT ARE YOU SO MEAN FOR?

277
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:05,813
I GOT FEELINGS, TOO, YOU KNOW?

278
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:09,771
I KNOW WHAT Y'ALL THINK OF ME,
BUT I'M PROUD OF WHAT I AM.

279
00:10:09,854 --> 00:10:13,396
YOU MIGHT COMPARE MY PLIGHT TO
THE DREADED FEDORAS.

280
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:16,729
SOME SAY THEY'RE PARASITES
LOOKING FOR A HOST.

281
00:10:16,813 --> 00:10:19,813
WELL, I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A
PAL.

282
00:10:19,896 --> 00:10:20,854
>> WISE WORDS, JOE.

283
00:10:20,938 --> 00:10:23,813
PERHAPS WE DON'T HAVE TO CONQUER
THE WHOLE WORLD.

284
00:10:23,896 --> 00:10:26,521
>> Chris: AND PERHAPS I NEED A
NEW HAT.

285
00:10:26,604 --> 00:10:29,563
[ LAUGHS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]

286
00:10:29,646 --> 00:10:30,896
>> CUT!

287
00:10:30,979 --> 00:10:32,438
[ BELL RINGS ]
>> OH, HEY, HEY!

288
00:10:32,521 --> 00:10:33,188
HOW WAS IT, JOSH?

289
00:10:33,271 --> 00:10:34,146
THAT FELT REALLY GREAT.

290
00:10:34,229 --> 00:10:35,354
>> YEAH, JOE. IT WAS GREAT.

291
00:10:35,438 --> 00:10:40,313
>> AND, UH...I WONDER IF I COULD
KEEP THIS NICE GREEN SHIRT.

292
00:10:40,396 --> 00:10:43,771
IT'S GOT SPAGHETTI STAINS ON IT,
SO IT'S NOT ANY GOOD TO ANYBODY

293
00:10:43,854 --> 00:10:45,646
ANYWAY, RIGHT?

294
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,938
AND THAT'S HOW YOU GET A FREE
SHIRT, FOLKS.

295
00:10:49,021 --> 00:10:50,646
RAT-A-TAT-TAT, BOOM, BOOM, BABY!