>> Chris: LET'S SHOW 'EM A BACK-TO-BACK STACK-AND-JACK. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! >> WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED? >> Chris: AAH! >> Susie: NO, I DIDN'T SEE HOW BRETT FELL INTO THE WOOD CHIPPER. >> I KNOW EVERYTHING. [ GUNSHOT ] >> WE'RE GONNA BRAIN-DRAIN HIM. >> THEY PULLED OUT ALL HIS MEMORIES -- EVERYTHING.
>> Chris: YEAH.
AS YOU CAN SEE, IT'S GETTING A LITTLE STUBBLY AROUND HERE.
I MEAN, LATELY, I CAN'T WALK THROUGH THIS PLACE WITHOUT
FEELING LIKE I'M GETTING A BEAR HUG FROM CANDY CROWLEY.
>> DON'T YOU WORRY, SIGNOR.
I'M GONNA TRIM THE WALLS NICE AND CLOSE, HUH?
MAKE 'EM SMOOTH LIKE A BAMBINO.
>> Chris: OKAY. GET SNIPPIN', PAPS, OKAY?
HERE WE GO. THATABOY. YEAH.
[ ALARM BLARING ] >> ANOTHER STORE JUST GOT
FIRE-BOMBED!
HOP TO!
>> Susie: HEY.
I JUST GAVE MY STATEMENT, AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I DIDN'T
SAY ANYTHING.
>> Chris: HUH?
>> Susie: ABOUT...YOU AND...
BRETT.
>> Chris: GREAT. THANK YOU.
WHATEVER.
HONEY, I GOT BIGGER FISH TO FUCK.
THEY'RE GONNA BRAIN-DRAIN THAT MOSS GUY.
HEY, HERE. HERE YOU GO.
HERE'S A LITTLE PEANUT FOR YOU.
HERE YOU GO.
>> Susie: WHAT?
>> Chris: NO? WHATEVER.
>> ♪ ...AND BELIEVING >> Susie: [ High-pitched
voice ] HEY, DON'T WORRY, CHRIS!
YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME!
[ Deep voice ] HEY, THANKS, DUM-DUM!
[ High-pitched voice ] OH, THAT MAKES ME SAD.
[ Normal voice ] OH, THAT'S PERFECT.
I FINALLY CRACKED THE SCENE.
[ BEEP ] >> ATTENTION, MARSHALS.
THE BRAIN DRAIN WILL NOW COMMENCE.
>> Susie: [ Sighing ] OKAY.
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GET READY TO WITNESS THE GREATEST
TOOL IN LAW ENFORCEMENT SINCE RACIAL PROFILING --
THE BRAIN DRAIN.
>> THIS THING REALLY WORK?
>> IT BETTER.
I SUNK EVERY PENNY I HAVE INTO IT.
HERE WE GO.
>> THIS BRAIN DRAIN IS SPONSORED BY ADELMAN'S MARSHAL POISON.
[ ALL GROAN ] >> WHAT IS THIS SHIT GARDNER?
>> WELL, IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SIT THROUGH ADS, YOU SHOULD HAVE
PAID FOR BRAIN DRAIN PRO.
HERE WE GO.
[ BABY CRYING ] >> [ MOANING ]
>> Susie: IS THIS RELEVANT?
>> NO, SUSIE, IT'S NOT.
WE MUST BE GOING THROUGH A PART OF HIS BRAIN KNOWN AS
THE SPANK BANK.
[ ALL GROAN ] GROAN IF YOU WANT TO, BUT THAT
IS THE MEDICAL TERM.
IT'S WHERE THE MALE BRAIN STORES EROTIC IMAGES FOR USE IN THE
EVENT OF A JACK ATTACK.
ANYWAY, THIS GUY'S PLEASURE IS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.
WE JUST HAVE TO SKIP PAST ALL THIS TO GET TO THE...
[ BELL DINGS ] ...CRIME SLIME.
HERE WE GO.
>> Chris: SUSAN, THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT, AND I'M TORN UP ABOUT
IT.
UH, COME ON, FOLKS.
THIS ISN'T RIGHT.
I MEAN, WE SHOULDN'T BE PRYING INTO A DEAD MAN'S MEMORIES.
>> STEP ASIDE, MONSANTO.
[ RECORD SCRATCHES ] >> UH-OH.
HOW'S CHRIS GONNA GET OUT OF THIS ONE?
LET'S WATCH.
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ] NOW LET US THINK.
HOW DO WE PREVENT PEOPLE FROM FINDING OUT THAT I KILLED --
>> [ SQUEAKING ] >> WHAT IS THIS -- RAT MEMORIES?
NICE MOVE.
[ CHUCKLES ] >> DON'T DO IT, RAT!
>> OH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THESE SHOULD BE HUMAN MEMORIES.
AAH!
>> ALL RIGHT, SHOW'S OVER.
GET THAT STIFF BACK DOWN TO THE MORGUE.
CHRIS, TRACK DOWN THOSE FIRE-BOMBERS BEFORE THEY STRIKE
AGAIN.
AND, GARDNER, QUIT WASTING MY TIME!
[ BELL RINGS ] >> Chris: LISTEN, KID, DO YOU
MIND HANDLING THIS ONE FOR ME?
ALL THAT RAT FOOTAGE GAVE ME A MAJOR JACK ATTACK.
>> Susie: UGH. FINE.
>> Chris: THANKS.
>> WELL, THANK YOU FOR COMING, MRS. MOSS.
>> OF COURSE.
>> EXCUSE ME, MARSHAL.
WE GOT TO I.D. THIS BODY.
>> Chris: OH, UH...
>> [ MEOWS ] [ YOWLS ]
[ MEOWS ] >> BERNARD.
HE LOOKS SO HANDSOME, JUST LIKE ON OUR WEDDING DAY.
>> THAT'S IT. PERFECT.
THIS IS GONNA BE ONE HECK OF A SHOW.
[ CHUCKLES ] SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> WELL, I DON'T THINK WE NEED THE PART WITH YOU SAYING IT
COULD BE A HECK OF A SHOW, BUT, OTHERWISE, I THINK IT WOULD BE A
GOOD FIT FOR OUR NETWORK.
>> I GOT A TON OF FOOTAGE LIKE THIS.
HE'S ALWAYS SQUIRMIN'.
>> AND YOU'VE GOT HIS PERMISSION, RIGHT?
>> TO DO WHAT?
>> TO USE HIS LIKENESS.
YOU NEED TO GET HIM TO SIGN A RELEASE.
>> YOU DON'T SAY.
>> NO SIGNATURE...NO SHOW.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ] >> MARSHAL CHRIS?
>> Chris: YES? JUST A SECOND.
[ SIZZLING ] >> CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A
MINUTE?
>> Chris: SURE, LaBERN.
WHAT'S UP?
>> WELL, I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU ON THE SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS, AND
YOU'VE BEEN MIGHTY ENTERTAINING LATELY.
NOW, WHATEVER YOU'RE TRYING TO HIDE IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS, BUT
THE COVERING UP IS A REAL HOOT.
I'VE GOT A MAN FROM A LOCAL TELEVISION STATION WHO'S
INTERESTED IN MAKING A SHOW OUT OF IT.
IT CAN MAKE ME A RICH MAN.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SIGN THIS RELEASE.
>> Chris: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M NOT GONNA SIGN THIS.
NO.
>> I...AM...GONNA...GET...
THAT...SIGNATURE.
>> Susie: HELLO?!
I'M A U.S. MARSHAL!
COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?
[ GUN COCKS ] FREEZE!
>> DON'T SHOOT. I'LL SPILL.
>> Susie: WHERE'S THE NEXT BOMBING?
>> LET ME THINK.
BOMBING...
>> Susie: I'M SORRY.
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
[ GUNSHOT ] >> UGH!
>> Susie: THIS IS MARSHAL WAGNER.
I HAVE A DEAD PERP READY FOR DRAINAGE HERE AT
58 NORTH HAWTHORNE.
>> SIT TIGHT, WAGNER.
WE'LL HAVE A UNIT THERE IN 10 MINUTES.
YEAH. ACTUALLY, I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT I HAVE TO GET TO,
SO, UH, YOU CAN JUST LET YOURSELF IN.
HE'S RIGHT ON THE FLOOR.
YOU CAN'T MISS HIM.
>> APP-PA-PALS?
>> Susie: YES.
THEY'RE CALLED THE APP-PA-PALS, AND I THINK YOUR AUDIENCE IS
GONNA GET REALLY INTO THEM AND THEIR ADVENTURES.
AND THINK OF THE MERCHANDISING.
THESE ROTTEN APPLES ARE GONNA SELL LIKE ROTTEN HOT CAKES.
>> I GOT A COUPLE ROTTEN APPLES FOR YOU RIGHT HERE.
>> Susie: UH...
I'M HERE ON BUSINESS.
>> THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MIXING BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE,
AND I WOULD TREASURE THE PLEASURE OF GIVING YOU THE
BUSINESS WITH MY PLEASURE TREASURE.
>> Susie: [ SIGHS ] >> JUST LIKE ALL THE REST --
DISGUSTED BY ME.
BECAUSE I'M DISGUSTING.
>> OKAY, I-I THINK I'VE IRONED OUT ALL THE KINKS, AND THIS
FIRE-BOMBER SUSIE KILLED IS DEFINITELY GONNA KNOW WHERE THE
NEXT BOMBING IS.
HERE WE GO.
CRIME SLIME.
>> [ MUNCHING ] >> HEY, LET'S GO.
>> Susie: I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
[ GUNSHOT ] [ BEEP ]
>> THAT'S IT?
>> WELL, THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!
I MEAN, LOOK AT THE TIMECODE!
IT JUMPS ALMOST FOUR HOURS!
>> THERE'S A BOMB SET TO GO OFF IN 20 MINUTES.
TIME'S UP, PETE.
YOUR CONTRACT IS OVER!
>> DAMN IT!
[ LAUGHTER ] PIECE OF SHIT
I'VE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING!
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!
>> SORRY, MARSHAL CHRIS, BUT I...NEED...THAT...SIGNATURE.
"I...KILLED...BRETT."
I KILLED BRETT?!
>> WE GOT A CONFESSION!
[ GUN COCKS ] FREEZE, WHITLEY.
>> UGH!
>> WE GOT HIM!
MOBLEY CASE CLOSED.
>> Chris: OH. GREAT! PERFECT.
MM. [ CLICKS TONGUE ] GOOD JOB.
[ DOOR OPENS ] OH, HEY, TOUGH LUCK, RED.
WE BRAIN-DRAINED THAT PERP -- CAME UP WITH NOTHIN'.
>> Susie: WHAT?!
I SAW HIM CARRYING EXPLOSIVES.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!
>> I CAN EXPLAIN.
>> OH, YEAH?
>> IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.
I WAS GOING ABOUT MY BUSINESS, GOING THROUGH THE FILES...
>> Susie: BUSINESS.
>> THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MIXING BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE.
>> Susie: PLEASURE.
>> THIS GUY'S PLEASURE IS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.
>> Susie: NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.
>> PLEASURE TREASURE.
>> BRAIN DRAIN.
>> Chris: JACK ATTACK.
>> SPANK BANK.
>> Susie: OF COURSE!
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ] CHECK HIS [SIGHS] SPANK BANK.
>> ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN.
START YOUR SYBIANS AND LET'S GO THROUGH THIS ONE MORE TIME.
[ CLICK, WHIRRING ] WE'RE GONNA SQUEEZE THROUGH THIS
REAL TIGHT ALLEY, RIGHT BEHIND A LIBRARY.
OOH, YEAH.
>> THE LIBRARY! MOVE OUT!
>> GENIUS!
THEY WERE SEXING UP THEIR FIRE-BOMBING PLANS SO THAT THE
MEMORIES WOULD BE STORED IN THE SPANK BANK AND WOULDN'T SHOW UP
IN THE BRAIN DRAIN!
>> Chris: HOW DID THEY FIND OUT THAT WE WEREN'T LOOKING IN THE,
UM, SPANK BANK?
>> Susie: THEY MUST HAVE A MOLE ON THE INSIDE.
>> SOUND GOOD?
>> I'M GONNA BETRAY THEM REAL NICE.
ARRIVEDERCI, PIGS!
>> GET THAT STUGOTS!
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ] >> COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!
>> I'M GONNA CUT MY LIFE NICE AND SHORT.
>> Susie: AND THEN I REMEMBERED ALL THE SEX PARAPHERNALIA I'D
FOUND AT THE...
>> Chris: HIDEOUT, AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME -- SPANK BANK!
BOO-YAH!
[ CHUCKLES ] WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT
SOONER, RIGHT?
[ LAUGHS ] >> NICE WORK, MONSANTO.
>> Susie: BUT I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS --
>> Chris: HEY, HEY, KID, SINCE YOU'RE SO GOOD AT KEEPING
SECRETS, WHY DON'T YOU JUST...
>> Susie: [ Deep voice ] PUT THIS ONE ON MY TAB?
[ High-pitched voice ] OKAY, CHRIS!
[ Deep voice ] THANKS, IDIOT!
>> ♪ ...AND BELIEVING >> Susie: [ High-pitched voice ]
AT LEAST I HAVE AN EMOTIONAL OUTLET!
>> ♪ SPIRIT IN HARMONY >> Susie: I WISH YOU WERE NICER
TO ME, CHRIS!
[ Deep voice ] YOU WOULD, DUMMY!
>> BACK-TO-BACK...
STACK-AND-JACK.
>> ♪ BABY >> ♪ BABY
♪ CHRISTMAS IS SOONER ♪ SUMMER, TOO, YEAH
♪ IS SOONER THAN YOU THINK ♪ MMM
♪ AND, BABY ♪ IT WILL BE HERE IN A BLINK
♪ WELL, CHRISTMA--