1 00:00:03,979 --> 00:00:06,771 Susie: LOOK AT ALL THIS STOLEN ART, CHRIS. 2 00:00:06,854 --> 00:00:08,271 IT MUST BE WORTH MILLIONS. 3 00:00:08,354 --> 00:00:09,271 Chris: OH, SUSIE, PLEASE. 4 00:00:09,354 --> 00:00:10,438 DON'T BE SO NAIVE. 5 00:00:10,521 --> 00:00:13,688 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT ARTWORK IS LIKE FEMALE BODYBUILDERS -- 6 00:00:13,771 --> 00:00:16,271 SPLENDIDLY BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT FULL OF DRUGS ON 7 00:00:16,354 --> 00:00:17,646 THE INSIDE. 8 00:00:17,729 --> 00:00:19,771 WATCH THIS. 9 00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:21,146 [ CANVAS RIPPING ] I SHOULD HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON 10 00:00:24,438 --> 00:00:25,271 WITH SHERICE. 11 00:00:25,354 --> 00:00:28,146 SHE WAS A FEMALE BODYBUILDER I DATED/SLASHED. 12 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:32,229 WELL, IT'S MARSHAL CHRIS MONSANTO AND HIS 13 00:00:32,313 --> 00:00:33,271 LACKEY FRIENDS. 14 00:00:33,354 --> 00:00:36,438 Chris: LACKEY CO-WORKERS, IF YOU PLEASE, DOOLAN. 15 00:00:36,521 --> 00:00:38,688 WE SELDOM SOCIALIZE OUTSIDE OF WORK. 16 00:00:38,771 --> 00:00:41,521 I USUALLY COLLECT MASTERPIECES, MONSANTO. 17 00:00:41,604 --> 00:00:46,229 BUT TONIGHT, I'M GONNA PAINT ONE...WITH YOUR BLOOD! 18 00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,271 [ GUNSHOTS ] Brett: CHRIS, I'M OUT OF 19 00:00:53,271 --> 00:00:53,771 BULLETS! 20 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:55,188 Chris: YEAH, SO AM I. 21 00:00:55,271 --> 00:00:58,646 WELL, I GUESS THIS IS IT. 22 00:00:58,729 --> 00:01:00,479 WAIT, I HAVE AN IDEA. 23 00:01:00,563 --> 00:01:01,646 HERE. LIE FLAT, BRETT. 24 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:02,146 LIE FLAT. 25 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,479 Shh, shh, shh, shh! 26 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,854 HEY, FELLAS... 27 00:01:04,938 --> 00:01:09,271 BATTER UP! 28 00:01:09,354 --> 00:01:11,604 [ THUMPING ] 29 00:01:34,521 --> 00:01:37,271 [ BIRDS CHIRPING ] Chief: INSPIRED WORK, 30 00:01:37,354 --> 00:01:38,063 MONSANTO. 31 00:01:38,146 --> 00:01:39,188 YOU TOOK DOWN MOST OF DOOLAN'S GANG. 32 00:01:39,271 --> 00:01:41,521 Chris: WELL, THANK YOU, CHIEF, BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING? 33 00:01:41,604 --> 00:01:44,313 I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT MY TWO PARTNERS... 34 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:45,188 SWIFTY AND PETE. 35 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,688 [ LAUGHTER ] Brett: WHAT ABOUT ME, HUH? 36 00:01:47,771 --> 00:01:49,479 [ CHUCKLES ] I DID, UH, PRETTY GOOD TOO, 37 00:01:49,563 --> 00:01:50,271 RIGHT? 38 00:01:50,354 --> 00:01:50,896 I WAS THE BAT. 39 00:01:50,979 --> 00:01:53,188 Chief: YOU'RE RIGHT, BRETT. 40 00:01:53,271 --> 00:01:55,521 YOU WERE INDISPENSABLE OUT THERE... 41 00:01:55,604 --> 00:01:57,188 AND YOU TOO, GUN. 42 00:01:57,271 --> 00:01:59,313 [ LAUGHTER ] AND LET'S NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU, 43 00:01:59,396 --> 00:02:00,063 PENCIL. 44 00:02:00,146 --> 00:02:03,021 GREAT JOB FILLING OUT THAT REPORT. 45 00:02:03,104 --> 00:02:05,188 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU SEE, BRETT, CONGRATULATING 46 00:02:05,271 --> 00:02:10,229 YOU WOULD BE A WASTE OF BREATH, BREATH WE COULD BE USING TO 47 00:02:10,313 --> 00:02:11,021 LAUGH AT YOU. 48 00:02:11,104 --> 00:02:15,604 [ LAUGHTER ] Chris: CHEER UP, PAL. 49 00:02:15,688 --> 00:02:18,229 YOU KNOW, IF YOU HADN'T BEEN AROUND TO BE MY HUMAN BAT, I 50 00:02:18,313 --> 00:02:23,479 WOULD HAVE HAD TO USE SOMEBODY ELSE -- ANYBODY ELSE, ACTUALLY. 51 00:02:23,563 --> 00:02:24,938 Brett: I'M NOT JUST A PROP. 52 00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:29,104 WHAT ABOUT THE TIME I SAVED THOSE KIDS? 53 00:02:29,188 --> 00:02:31,729 [ SCREAMING AND CRYING ] [ CRUNCHING ] 54 00:02:40,646 --> 00:02:42,313 OH SHIT! 55 00:02:44,313 --> 00:02:51,521 Brett: SO IT WASN'T MY IDEA TO CRUSH MY SKULL? 56 00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,438 [ SIGHS ] I GUESS WE'RE THE SAME -- YOU 57 00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:54,771 AND ME. 58 00:02:54,854 --> 00:03:00,396 PEOPLE USE US, WAVE US AROUND, AND TOSS US ASIDE, AND THERE'S 59 00:03:00,479 --> 00:03:02,021 ALWAYS ANOTHER LINED UP. 60 00:03:02,104 --> 00:03:05,104 DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE JERKS, BRETT. 61 00:03:05,188 --> 00:03:07,771 IF I WERE YOU, I'D QUIT. 62 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,313 Brett: QUIT? 63 00:03:09,396 --> 00:03:10,938 BUT WHAT WOULD I DO? 64 00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:13,104 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN WITH THE MARSHALS' OFFICE. 65 00:03:13,188 --> 00:03:15,063 CHRIS IS MY FRIEND, RIGHT? 66 00:03:15,146 --> 00:03:17,104 I WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO GO. 67 00:03:17,188 --> 00:03:20,188 WHY DON'T YOU JOIN DOOLAN'S GANG? 68 00:03:20,271 --> 00:03:22,479 THAT WOULD SHOW 'EM. 69 00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:28,354 YE-A-A-AH. 70 00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:33,146 WELCOME ABOARD, GENTLEMEN. 71 00:03:33,229 --> 00:03:35,521 I HOPE YOU LIKE COMMITTING CRIME, MY FRIENDS. 72 00:03:35,604 --> 00:03:37,813 [ DOOR OPENS ] LOOKY WHAT I FOUND -- 73 00:03:37,896 --> 00:03:39,854 MONSANTO'S HUMAN BAT. 74 00:03:39,938 --> 00:03:41,979 Brett: HEY, FELLAS. 75 00:03:42,063 --> 00:03:44,813 TIE HIM UP AND TOSS HIM IN THE INCINERATOR. 76 00:03:44,896 --> 00:03:47,521 I HOPE YOU LIKE BEING HOT, MY FRIEND. 77 00:03:47,604 --> 00:03:49,938 Brett: I DO, BUT, UH, I'M NOT A MARSHAL ANYMORE. 78 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:52,229 I QUIT THE FORCE, AND I'M HERE TO JOIN YOUR GANG. 79 00:03:52,313 --> 00:03:55,313 SO, DO I GOT TO FILL SOMETHING OUT OR -- I BROUGHT THREE FORMS 80 00:03:55,396 --> 00:03:56,271 OF I.D. 81 00:03:56,354 --> 00:04:02,813 IF YOU'RE NOT WITH THE MARSHAL, THEN PROVE IT. 82 00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:04,271 TRY THIS. 83 00:04:17,771 --> 00:04:22,188 [ CRUNCHING ] [ LAUGHING ] 84 00:04:22,271 --> 00:04:23,854 WELCOME ABOARD. 85 00:04:23,938 --> 00:04:25,271 [ LAUGHTER ] Brett: IT IS FUNNY. 86 00:04:29,104 --> 00:04:31,313 [ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ] [ BIRDS CHIRPING ] 87 00:04:37,271 --> 00:04:39,521 Chris: HEY, HAS ANYONE SEEN BRETT'S MOUTH? 88 00:04:39,604 --> 00:04:40,479 I NEED HIS TEETH. 89 00:04:40,563 --> 00:04:43,063 WHEN I GOT THIS, I THOUGHT IT WAS A TWIST-OFF. 90 00:04:43,146 --> 00:04:44,521 Susie: HE QUIT LAST NIGHT. 91 00:04:44,604 --> 00:04:48,146 Chief: CHRIS, SUSIE, I WANT YOU TO MEET BRETT'S REPLACEMENT, 92 00:04:48,229 --> 00:04:48,938 BRADY GILES. 93 00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:50,854 Chris: AH, HOW YOU DOIN', HANDSOME? 94 00:04:50,938 --> 00:04:53,646 THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT? 95 00:04:53,729 --> 00:04:55,396 RELAX. I'M JUST CLAWING WITH YA. 96 00:04:55,479 --> 00:04:58,229 I LIKE TO GIVE PEOPLE THE BUSINESS -- THE LOBSTER 97 00:04:58,313 --> 00:05:01,271 BUSINESS -- ON ACCOUNT OF MY FUCKING CLAWS. 98 00:05:01,354 --> 00:05:03,271 HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT. 99 00:05:03,354 --> 00:05:05,063 [ CLATTERS ] Chris: WOW! 100 00:05:05,146 --> 00:05:06,271 [ CHUCKLES ] GEEZ, WE GET BRETT'S 101 00:05:06,354 --> 00:05:09,729 REPLACEMENT, AND AS A BONUS, HE'S A FREAK, TOO. 102 00:05:09,813 --> 00:05:12,771 Chief: BRADY, I WANT YOU TO MEET YOUR OTHER PARTNER, SUSIE. 103 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:15,604 OOH, YEAH, WOULD I LIKE TO PINCH THOSE FUN BAGS -- SNAP, 104 00:05:15,688 --> 00:05:16,813 SNAP, SNAP. 105 00:05:16,896 --> 00:05:18,646 Susie: IF YOU TOUCH ME, I WILL SNAP, SNAP, SNAP YOUR HEAD 106 00:05:18,729 --> 00:05:19,063 OFF. 107 00:05:19,146 --> 00:05:21,146 MM, YUM, YUM. 108 00:05:21,229 --> 00:05:21,729 DADDY LIKEY. 109 00:05:21,813 --> 00:05:23,854 SNAP, SNAP. 110 00:05:23,938 --> 00:05:25,313 [ LAUGHTER ] EVERYBODY KEEP STILL AND 111 00:05:28,938 --> 00:05:30,854 QUIET -- THAT WAY, NOBODY GETS HURT. 112 00:05:30,938 --> 00:05:32,771 I'M GOING TO THE VAULT, WHERE THEY KEEP THE MONEY. 113 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:36,563 MR. HORSE, MAKE SURE NO ONE TRIPS THE ALARM. 114 00:05:36,646 --> 00:05:40,604 Brett: UH, FYI, GUYS, WE'RE ALL GONNA BE USING CODE NAMES 115 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:41,896 BASED ON ANIMALS. 116 00:05:41,979 --> 00:05:45,271 SO DON'T SHOUT AN ANIMAL, OR WE MIGHT GET CONFUSED, LIKE IF YOU 117 00:05:45,354 --> 00:05:48,438 SAY "DOG," I MIGHT THINK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MR. DOG, MY GOOD 118 00:05:48,521 --> 00:05:50,104 FRIEND RIGHT OVER HERE, CARLOS RUIZ. 119 00:05:50,188 --> 00:05:51,104 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? 120 00:05:51,188 --> 00:05:52,604 Brett: OH, NOTHING, MR. DOG -- UH, SORRY -- 121 00:05:52,688 --> 00:05:54,271 CARLOS RUIZ. 122 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,521 [ SIREN WAILS ] IT'S THE POLICE. 123 00:05:56,604 --> 00:05:59,896 LET'S GET AWAY! 124 00:05:59,979 --> 00:06:03,271 [ DOOR RATTLES ] WHY IS THIS DOOR LOCKED? 125 00:06:03,354 --> 00:06:06,104 Brett: OH, I LOCKED IT TO KEEP THE COPS OUT. 126 00:06:06,188 --> 00:06:06,979 YOU BLOODY FOOL! 127 00:06:07,063 --> 00:06:10,146 CHECK THE OTHER EXIT! 128 00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:13,146 [ THUDS ] Chris: I'M JAMMED. 129 00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:22,146 OKAY, I GOT AN IDEA. 130 00:06:22,229 --> 00:06:23,438 UM, LIE DOWN. 131 00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:24,521 COME ON. HEY, LIE DOWN. 132 00:06:24,604 --> 00:06:25,604 NO! HANDS OFF ME, QUEERBONES! 133 00:06:25,688 --> 00:06:27,146 Chris: THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. 134 00:06:27,229 --> 00:06:28,521 I DON'T CRAWL THAT WAY! 135 00:06:28,604 --> 00:06:31,188 Chris: COME ON, YOU'RE MY NEW BAT! 136 00:06:31,271 --> 00:06:32,563 LAY OFF ME, SISSY! 137 00:06:32,646 --> 00:06:33,021 Chris: STAY STILL! 138 00:06:33,104 --> 00:06:34,813 LEAVE ME ALONE! 139 00:06:34,896 --> 00:06:35,313 Chris: GREAT. 140 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,146 NICE JOB, CRAB BOY. 141 00:06:37,229 --> 00:06:38,771 DOOLAN JUST GOT AWAY. 142 00:06:38,854 --> 00:06:40,146 FUCK YOU, EDWARD FINGERHANDS. 143 00:06:40,229 --> 00:06:41,604 Chris: GOD, YOU SUCK. 144 00:06:43,521 --> 00:06:47,188 Brett: HEY, GUYS, JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY OLD SPAGHETTI, 145 00:06:47,271 --> 00:06:49,813 NEXT TIME WE ROB A BANK, WE SHOULD TAKE THE MONEY WITH US 146 00:06:49,896 --> 00:06:51,813 BEFORE WE LEAVE. 147 00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:53,813 CAN I WASTE HIM? 148 00:06:53,896 --> 00:06:54,646 NOT YET. 149 00:06:54,729 --> 00:06:58,396 [ CRUNCHING ] WE CAN STILL USE HIM FOR 150 00:06:58,479 --> 00:06:59,563 SOMETHING. 151 00:06:59,646 --> 00:07:05,063 BRETT, I WANT YOU TO TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT THE 152 00:07:05,146 --> 00:07:06,104 MARSHALS' OFFICE. 153 00:07:06,188 --> 00:07:09,188 WHAT KIND OF FIREPOWER DO THEY HAVE? 154 00:07:09,271 --> 00:07:12,604 WHAT ARE THEIR INTELLIGENCE CAPABILITIES? 155 00:07:12,688 --> 00:07:13,813 Brett: HMM, LET ME SEE. 156 00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:16,063 THE MARSHALS' OFFICE. 157 00:07:16,146 --> 00:07:17,521 UH, OH. 158 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:21,688 THE TOILET CLOGS IF YOU FLUSH TOO MANY MAGAZINES. 159 00:07:21,771 --> 00:07:24,271 I SEE. 160 00:07:24,354 --> 00:07:25,646 MY GOD, I SEE. 161 00:07:25,729 --> 00:07:29,188 YOU REALLY ARE GOOD FOR NOTHING. 162 00:07:29,271 --> 00:07:31,438 WELL... 163 00:07:31,521 --> 00:07:33,313 NOTHING. 164 00:07:33,396 --> 00:07:36,354 [ CRUNCHING ] Chief: YOU REALLY LET US 165 00:07:39,146 --> 00:07:39,521 DOWN, MONSANTO. 166 00:07:39,604 --> 00:07:40,063 DOOLAN GOT AWAY. 167 00:07:40,146 --> 00:07:41,563 IT WAS AN UTTER FAILURE. 168 00:07:41,646 --> 00:07:45,313 Chris: YOU KNOW, CHIEF, I THINK YOU'D BE SINGING A 169 00:07:45,396 --> 00:07:47,896 DIFFERENT TUNE IF OLD "CLAWS KINSKI" OVER HERE HAD 170 00:07:47,979 --> 00:07:49,188 LET ME USE HIM AS A HUMAN BAT. 171 00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:49,938 Chief: OVER THE LINE, CHRIS. 172 00:07:50,021 --> 00:07:50,896 THE MAN IS DEFORMED. 173 00:07:50,979 --> 00:07:52,938 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 174 00:07:53,021 --> 00:07:55,313 HE'S JUST A LITTLE STEAMED BECAUSE I'M THE FIRST GUY WHO 175 00:07:55,396 --> 00:07:57,729 WOULDN'T LIE DOWN AND GET STIFF FOR HIM. 176 00:07:57,813 --> 00:07:59,938 [ LAUGHTER ] Susie: AN ALARM JUST WENT OFF 177 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,021 AT FIRST NATIONAL BANK. 178 00:08:02,104 --> 00:08:05,063 IT'S TIME WE FINISH THIS. 179 00:08:05,146 --> 00:08:05,729 IT'S A HOLDUP! 180 00:08:05,813 --> 00:08:06,229 GET DOWN! 181 00:08:06,313 --> 00:08:06,854 HANDS ON YOUR HEADS! 182 00:08:06,938 --> 00:08:09,313 GET DOWN ON THE GROUND, YOU! 183 00:08:09,396 --> 00:08:12,063 GET DOWN! 184 00:08:12,146 --> 00:08:13,438 HANDS ON YOUR HEADS! 185 00:08:13,521 --> 00:08:14,563 SIT DOWN, ALL OF YOU! 186 00:08:14,646 --> 00:08:16,063 HERE. 187 00:08:16,146 --> 00:08:18,729 [ DOOR OPENS ] Susie: FREEZE! 188 00:08:18,813 --> 00:08:20,271 NO! 189 00:08:33,521 --> 00:08:43,979 Brett: HEY, HOW'S IT GOING IN THERE? 190 00:08:44,063 --> 00:08:46,271 Chris: BRETT? 191 00:08:46,354 --> 00:08:47,729 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, BRETT? 192 00:08:47,813 --> 00:08:49,104 Brett: OH, HI, CHRIS. 193 00:08:49,188 --> 00:08:51,104 I JOINED DOOLAN'S GANG. 194 00:08:51,188 --> 00:08:53,771 BAT NOW. 195 00:08:53,854 --> 00:08:58,271 HEY, KID, I KNOW THIS IS A REALLY WEIRD TIME TO SAY THIS, 196 00:08:58,354 --> 00:09:01,938 BUT, UH, I THINK YOU'RE A GOOD COP. 197 00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:02,604 Susie: THANKS. 198 00:09:02,688 --> 00:09:04,271 Chris: BRETT, COME ON, NOW. 199 00:09:04,354 --> 00:09:05,271 YOU -- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS, BRETT. 200 00:09:05,354 --> 00:09:07,813 Brett: BUT IT'S ALL I'M GOOD FOR. 201 00:09:07,896 --> 00:09:09,021 Chris: DON'T YOU SEE? 202 00:09:09,104 --> 00:09:12,479 YOU'RE -- YOU'RE A MINDLESS SACK OF DOORKNOBS WHOSE ONLY TALENT 203 00:09:12,563 --> 00:09:15,646 IS -- IS TAKING COMMANDS FROM SOMEBODY ELSE, BUT, BRETT, 204 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,979 THAT'S A WONDERFUL ATTRIBUTE TO HAVE, PAL. 205 00:09:18,063 --> 00:09:19,063 Brett: REALLY? 206 00:09:19,146 --> 00:09:20,354 Chris: NOW GO LIMP, BRETT. 207 00:09:20,438 --> 00:09:21,771 COME ON. GO LIMP FOR ME. 208 00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:26,813 THE WAY YOU LOOK, UH, MAKES ME WANT TO -- WANT TO -- 209 00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:29,146 WANT TO DO THIS. 210 00:09:29,229 --> 00:09:31,438 Susie: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 211 00:09:31,521 --> 00:09:32,563 COME ON! 212 00:09:32,646 --> 00:09:34,313 YOU'VE BEEN FLIRTING ME UP EVER SINCE I STARTED THIS GIG! 213 00:09:34,396 --> 00:09:34,979 Susie: UGH! 214 00:09:35,063 --> 00:09:37,021 GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU CREEP! 215 00:09:37,104 --> 00:09:38,313 COME ON! 216 00:09:38,396 --> 00:09:39,479 Chris: GO LIMP. GO LIMP. 217 00:09:39,563 --> 00:09:40,771 Brett: YOU'RE RIGHT, CHRIS. 218 00:09:40,854 --> 00:09:42,979 I'M GONNA DO IT FOR YOU, BUDDY! 219 00:09:43,063 --> 00:09:47,813 I'M GOING LIMP! 220 00:09:47,896 --> 00:09:49,521 OI, WHAT YOU DOING? 221 00:09:49,604 --> 00:09:51,188 STRAIGHTEN UP! 222 00:09:51,271 --> 00:09:53,188 STOP IT! 223 00:09:53,271 --> 00:10:01,896 Brett: [ GRUNTS ] [ GUN COCKS ] 224 00:10:01,979 --> 00:10:05,021 [ WHISTLES ] LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE A 225 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:05,729 LITTLE HELP. 226 00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:06,813 Brett: PENCIL! 227 00:10:06,896 --> 00:10:09,229 All: LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE A LITTLE MORE HELP! 228 00:10:09,313 --> 00:10:14,354 Brett: PEN-N-N-C-I-I-I-IL! 229 00:10:18,771 --> 00:10:20,104 THANKS, PENCIL! 230 00:10:20,188 --> 00:10:20,854 "YOU'RE WELCOME, BRETT." 231 00:10:20,938 --> 00:10:22,521 Chris: OKAY. 232 00:10:22,604 --> 00:10:24,229 [ Chuckling ] THAT'S ENOUGH, BRETT. 233 00:10:24,313 --> 00:10:26,313 THAT'S FINE. 234 00:10:26,396 --> 00:10:34,229 [ GUN COCKS ] Susie: CHRIS, BEHIND YOU! 235 00:10:34,313 --> 00:10:39,646 [ THUDS ] I WAS A GOOD GUY. 236 00:10:39,729 --> 00:10:41,646 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 237 00:10:44,479 --> 00:10:45,729 OH SHIT