1
00:00:25,485 --> 00:00:27,654
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
ON HEADPHONES)

2
00:00:38,415 --> 00:00:39,916
(LIP-SYNCING)

3
00:01:01,521 --> 00:01:03,398
(SINGING)

4
00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:27,839
(SOFT CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

5
00:01:34,179 --> 00:01:36,014
(MACHINES BEEPING)

6
00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:08,922
(MONKEYS CHITTERING)

7
00:02:09,506 --> 00:02:11,007
(LOUDLY) Mind if I do a quick mop?

8
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,509
You're shouting.

9
00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:13,676
What?

10
00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,682
- I can come back later.
- No, it's fine.

11
00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:22,101
Just don't touch anything.

12
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,897
(MOCKING) "Just don't touch anything."

13
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,023
Dickbreath.

14
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,860
You want a Tic Tac?

15
00:02:30,944 --> 00:02:31,984
- (JINGLING)
- (SCREECHING)

16
00:02:32,946 --> 00:02:35,281
All right. I'll take that as a no.

17
00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:47,502
(WHIRRING)

18
00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:52,382
(SOFTLY) Oh. Come on.

19
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:56,052
(BEEPING CONTINUES)

20
00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:19,784
Oh...

21
00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:24,247
What the hell happened to you, dude?

22
00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:35,675
Dod? What the fuck
kind of name is Dod?

23
00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,595
- (GASPS) Oh!
- (CLATTERING)

24
00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:45,852
Go, go, go, go, go.

25
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,022
Come on!

26
00:03:49,147 --> 00:03:50,356
(MONITOR BEEPING)

27
00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:56,029
No! Oh, no, no, no. Reset, reset.

28
00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:58,615
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

29
00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:00,617
Dod! Come on!

30
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:04,704
Clear! Accept! Accept the motherfucker!

31
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,040
Shit. Okay. All right.

32
00:04:07,457 --> 00:04:08,458
Um...

33
00:04:09,459 --> 00:04:11,461
I'll do CPR. Yeah.

34
00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:16,799
(GRUNTING)

35
00:04:20,345 --> 00:04:23,681
- All right! Some Takis Fuego.
- (KEYS BEEPING)

36
00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:28,728
Come on!

37
00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:30,188
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)

38
00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,815
Come on, breathe, dude!

39
00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,278
(BEEPING CONTINUES)

40
00:04:37,362 --> 00:04:39,697
Oh, shit! Oh, hell, no.

41
00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:43,409
Okay. All right. All right. Come on, Dod.

42
00:04:43,493 --> 00:04:44,786
Come on. We got this.

43
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,337
Please, come on, Dod! (PANTING)

44
00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,005
One, one thousand!

45
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,382
Two, one thousand!

46
00:04:58,466 --> 00:04:59,467
Ah!

47
00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:01,803
(SCREAMING)

48
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:04,847
(GROWLING)

49
00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:13,898
(GRUNTING)

50
00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:16,609
(SNARLING)

51
00:05:20,697 --> 00:05:21,698
No, no, no!

52
00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:24,200
No, no, no!

53
00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:25,284
(SHOUTING)

54
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:28,371
Come on.

55
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:32,583
Ah!

56
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,336
(GLASS SHATTERING)

57
00:05:47,974 --> 00:05:48,975
- (INAUDIBLE)
- (BANGING)

58
00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:54,063
You are kidding me.

59
00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,243
Oh, crap.

60
00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:24,093
Why?

61
00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:35,063
- (GROWLING)
- (SCREAMING)

62
00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:55,390
ROGERS: <i>You know
what's cooler than cool?</i>

63
00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:56,959
ALL: <i>Scouting!</i>

64
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,127
ROGERS: Action!

65
00:06:58,294 --> 00:07:00,880
Hi, there, guys.
My name is Scout Leader Rogers.

66
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:05,051
And I'm here to show you
what scouting is all about. Come...

67
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:08,304
<i>Being a Scout is about
the bonds of friendship.</i>

68
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:11,640
<i>Check it out!</i>

69
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:15,686
<i>These Scouts are on their way
to earning a Bow and Arrow Badge!</i>

70
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:20,149
<i>Badges are the Scouts'
highest symbol of achievement.</i>

71
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,986
<i>Scouts can earn all sorts of badges.</i>

72
00:07:25,822 --> 00:07:27,990
<i>What's cooler than cool?</i>

73
00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:29,992
ALL: <i>Scouting!</i>

74
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:36,833
All right, are you in or are you in?

75
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,003
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

76
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,680
Hey, listen, there's free
cookies every Friday.

77
00:07:45,842 --> 00:07:48,344
We do sing-alongs on Saturdays.

78
00:07:48,678 --> 00:07:50,346
It looks great on a college application!

79
00:07:51,681 --> 00:07:53,933
(CHUCKLING) I love this tragic ritual.

80
00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:56,269
Someone's gonna sign up, guys!

81
00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:57,520
We have to keep trying!

82
00:07:57,854 --> 00:08:00,148
Augie, a unicorn's
gonna fly out of your ass

83
00:08:00,231 --> 00:08:01,524
before somebody joins.

84
00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,442
Carter! Language.

85
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,902
Yeah, he's right.
Nobody's ever gonna sign up.

86
00:08:04,986 --> 00:08:06,279
It's just a waste of time.

87
00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:08,906
Ye of little faith.
Where's that Scout spirit?

88
00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:11,492
Look, guys, we're not gonna
quit trying just because

89
00:08:11,576 --> 00:08:13,661
we lost a couple hours
sitting around on our butts

90
00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:14,954
with nothing to show for it.

91
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,582
I mean, some people
spend their entire lives

92
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,792
and have nothing to show for it.

93
00:08:22,587 --> 00:08:23,796
Well...

94
00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:26,424
I think we all know
it's Augie's special night.

95
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,259
(CHEERING)

96
00:08:29,302 --> 00:08:31,846
After years of hard work and dedication,

97
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:35,141
he will receive the highest
honor of a Scout,

98
00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,559
the Condor Badge,

99
00:08:36,893 --> 00:08:38,895
in a ceremony at tonight's campout.

100
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:41,063
Okay. (CLEARS THROAT) Let's see.

101
00:08:41,147 --> 00:08:42,815
Latrine duty: Carter.

102
00:08:42,899 --> 00:08:44,692
No! No, no, no, no.
I always dig the shitter.

103
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,255
It's called a latrine, not a shitter.

104
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,696
All right, Ben, you're on wiener duty.

105
00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:50,907
- (GRUNTING)
- That's enough.

106
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:53,826
Carter, nobody eats a hot dog like this.

107
00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:54,911
(GRUNTING)

108
00:08:55,745 --> 00:08:58,581
All right. Ben, why don't you
lead us in the Scout Oath?

109
00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:00,541
- Come on.
- All right.

110
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,837
ALL: This do I swear:

111
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,590
To live courageously,

112
00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:09,550
to help others when I can,

113
00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:13,346
defend what I must, so help me God.

114
00:09:13,429 --> 00:09:14,931
Scouts forever!

115
00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:16,349
Scouts forever!

116
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,100
Scouts forever.

117
00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:20,186
Scouts forever.

118
00:09:20,353 --> 00:09:21,854
ALL: Forever!

119
00:09:21,938 --> 00:09:23,439
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

120
00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:28,069
Ben, we have to tell Augie.

121
00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:29,528
- I know. I know.
- We're ditching Scouts.

122
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:30,655
Yeah, we'll tell him.

123
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:31,864
We've been talking
about it for over a year.

124
00:09:31,948 --> 00:09:33,699
I know.
We just have to find the right time.

125
00:09:33,783 --> 00:09:35,284
Okay, we'll do it tonight, then.

126
00:09:35,368 --> 00:09:37,286
No, we can't tell him tonight.
He's getting his Condor Badge.

127
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:40,206
He's been working toward this
ever since he joined Scouts.

128
00:09:40,373 --> 00:09:41,958
You know how much it means to him.

129
00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:44,877
Especially since his dad can't be there.

130
00:09:46,212 --> 00:09:47,755
It's been two years, Ben.

131
00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:51,300
We can't just stay in Scouts
because we feel sorry for him.

132
00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:53,261
Come on, that's not the only
reason we're staying in Scouts.

133
00:09:53,344 --> 00:09:54,387
Come on, you've had fun.

134
00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:57,265
Had fun, okay? Past tense. Had.

135
00:09:57,348 --> 00:10:00,142
And now I am ready to move on.
I mean, you realize

136
00:10:00,226 --> 00:10:02,061
it's gonna be junior year next year.

137
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:04,105
I mean, you know
what that means, right?

138
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,564
We start thinking about college.

139
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:08,567
We start thinking about pussy, Ben!

140
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,404
Come on. Junior year is when
all the girls become sluts.

141
00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:12,488
- Oh, really?
- Yes.

142
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:15,491
And if we're sitting here
in these Scout uniforms,

143
00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:17,827
it's gonna be
the male version of a chastity belt, Ben.

144
00:10:18,411 --> 00:10:19,662
(BOTH SHOUTING)

145
00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:24,834
Oh, shit. Shit. (PANTING)

146
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:27,211
What the fuck was that?

147
00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:29,922
Holy shit. Oh, my God.

148
00:10:35,261 --> 00:10:36,262
Oh, shit.

149
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,306
Dude, that scared the shit out of me.

150
00:10:38,389 --> 00:10:39,932
Yeah, me, too.

151
00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:42,018
No, like, literally,
a little shit came out.

152
00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:43,436
Dude, stop.

153
00:10:46,856 --> 00:10:48,858
Jesus Christ. You hood-fucked Bambi.

154
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,776
I didn't mean to!
It wasn't my fault, Carter!

155
00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:52,361
It was just standing there!

156
00:10:59,327 --> 00:11:00,328
(PHONE CAMERA CLICKING)

157
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,042
Oh, shit.

158
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,877
Oh. Damn it.

159
00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:10,629
Great. Just awesome.

160
00:11:11,881 --> 00:11:14,133
Is that a spare for your bike or the car?

161
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:17,053
Shit. My dad's gonna be so pissed.

162
00:11:18,054 --> 00:11:19,388
Carter, where are the other lug nuts?

163
00:11:19,472 --> 00:11:21,307
How should I know?
I've been sitting here doing nothing.

164
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,725
Yeah. I noticed.

165
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:27,146
Oh. Dude, that's my sister.

166
00:11:28,064 --> 00:11:29,648
Kendall! Kendall!

167
00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:31,984
Hey!

168
00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:36,113
Hey.

169
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,657
Can you help us?

170
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:41,952
(ROMANTIC POP MUSIC PLAYING)

171
00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:57,885
- JEFF: Catch!
- Ow!

172
00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,345
- KENDALL: Jeff!
- What?

173
00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:00,513
I said, "Catch."

174
00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:02,014
I thought he had it.

175
00:12:02,098 --> 00:12:04,350
- Sorry, bro. It's my bad.
- Yeah.

176
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,602
Are you guys okay?
I mean, what happened?

177
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:09,355
We hit a white-tailed deer. It was huge.

178
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:11,273
Yeah. We were just driving,
and then it was like, boom!

179
00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:13,692
You guys hit a deer? That's awesome.

180
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:16,112
Nope, not awesome. Are you kidding?

181
00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:17,947
Nothing awesome about it.
Look at my car.

182
00:12:18,114 --> 00:12:19,115
(CLEARS THROAT)

183
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:22,368
What's up, Chloe?

184
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:24,870
- Hey...
- Hey.

185
00:12:24,954 --> 00:12:26,539
- Carter.
- Carter!

186
00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:29,208
Yeah. I sit behind you in Spanish class.

187
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,127
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

188
00:12:31,252 --> 00:12:32,253
Oh, <i>gracias.</i>

189
00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:34,964
So, I'm really down with this

190
00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:36,549
whole little Scout uniform
you guys got going.

191
00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:37,842
All these little patches and stuff.

192
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,594
Actually, Ben and Carter have been

193
00:12:40,678 --> 00:12:42,972
Scouts together since, what,
you were like six, right?

194
00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:45,349
- Yeah, yeah. A long time.
- That's awesome, man.

195
00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:47,059
Ben's like my little brother.

196
00:12:47,143 --> 00:12:48,978
Yep. That's me. Little brother Ben.

197
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:50,396
CHLOE: Hey, Jeff!

198
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,073
All right, well.
Sorry about that face again.

199
00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,820
Hey, are you going to the party tonight?

200
00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:58,904
What's up?

201
00:12:58,988 --> 00:13:02,825
Yo! Aber-blow-me and Bitch, man.
What's up? Hey.

202
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:03,993
Always coming up with good ones.

203
00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:06,412
Listen, I was just talking
to Carver here, and...

204
00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:07,580
Carter.

205
00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:09,790
- I came up with a great idea.
- Really?

206
00:13:09,874 --> 00:13:11,083
Hit me. What do we have?

207
00:13:11,167 --> 00:13:12,835
How'd recruiting go?

208
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:16,088
Oh, the usual. Yeah, no one joined.

209
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:17,590
I think it's just a big joke at this point.

210
00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:18,757
It's not a joke.

211
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:21,427
I think it's really cool
you guys have stuck with Scouts.

212
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,721
One day you're gonna look back on this

213
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,681
and you're gonna be
really happy you did it.

214
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,517
Okay. Thanks.

215
00:13:30,686 --> 00:13:32,021
(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

216
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,941
Looks like the deer made out
better than your car.

217
00:13:36,025 --> 00:13:38,277
Yeah. Wait, what? What do you mean?

218
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,488
Well, where is it?

219
00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:42,239
It's right over there.

220
00:14:10,059 --> 00:14:12,144
Holy shit! Holy shit, man!

221
00:14:12,228 --> 00:14:13,729
You dick. What's wrong with you?

222
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,315
Dude. Dude, okay. You're never
gonna believe what happened.

223
00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:17,998
Hey, you sure you guys
don't need a ride?

224
00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:20,194
No, we're good.

225
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:21,320
See you boys tonight.

226
00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:23,239
Hey! See you tonight, man!

227
00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:25,491
All right? All right?

228
00:14:27,243 --> 00:14:29,578
Bye, Chloe! Bye!

229
00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:32,186
What are you talking about, tonight?

230
00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:33,999
Dude, you are never going
to guess what happened.

231
00:14:34,083 --> 00:14:37,127
We got invited to the secret
senior party, man. Look.

232
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:39,922
Who cares? Look, the deer is gone.
What about the deer?

233
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,257
Dude, fuck deers, man!

234
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:44,677
We are going to the secret party, man!
Come on!

235
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,845
(SING-SONG) I'm gonna fuck Chloe.

236
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,098
I'm gonna fuck Chloe.

237
00:14:54,270 --> 00:14:55,938
Ben, come on.
This is the chance of a lifetime.

238
00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,815
Okay. I mean,
quit acting like you don't want to go.

239
00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,358
BEN: Of course I want to go. I do.

240
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:02,861
But it's Augie's big night.
He's getting his Condor Badge.

241
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,030
We can't miss the ceremony
or he'd never forgive us.

242
00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:07,199
Okay, look, hear me out.

243
00:15:07,283 --> 00:15:08,909
We go to the campout,

244
00:15:08,993 --> 00:15:10,995
and when Augie and Rogers fall asleep,

245
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,788
we will sneak out and go to the party.

246
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:13,872
(SIGHS) Carter...

247
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:14,996
We'll be back before dawn,

248
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,834
it'll be like we never even left.

249
00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:19,587
I don't know. It just sounds...

250
00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:20,671
Ben.

251
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,300
This could be the night of our lives.

252
00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:26,552
Please.

253
00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:28,512
(SIGHS)

254
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,973
All right. I mean, I guess we could try.

255
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,518
- Okay.
- I love you.

256
00:15:34,602 --> 00:15:36,729
You're amazing. Thank you!

257
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:38,147
Whoa! What the hell?

258
00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:40,316
Hi, Mrs. Fielder. Hi.

259
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:45,404
Your garbage cans were
blocking my driveway again.

260
00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,740
Had to move them myself,

261
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:51,076
which is no easy task
with a herniated disk.

262
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,161
Okay, great.

263
00:15:52,244 --> 00:15:56,749
You tell your father to keep his trash
on his side of the property.

264
00:15:57,333 --> 00:16:00,127
Okay, we'll do that, Mrs. Fielder.
Thank you.

265
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:04,089
All right, thanks. Yep.
Can you just move right there?

266
00:16:04,173 --> 00:16:06,008
Thank you. Bye!

267
00:16:06,425 --> 00:16:07,843
Jesus Christ.

268
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,179
You old hag! Okay. Thank you.

269
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,597
She is so annoying.

270
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:15,184
Oh, my God.
Can you imagine living next to that?

271
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:18,395
BEN: Oh, my God. Dude,
how many cats does she have?

272
00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:20,981
Dude, who knows. She probably rubs
Fancy Feast on her cooch

273
00:16:21,065 --> 00:16:22,441
and lets them all go to town.

274
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:23,525
- What?
- (SNORTING)

275
00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:27,071
Meet me here at 5:30 and then
we'll go to Camp Womp Womp.

276
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,281
Then we'll go to the party. All right?

277
00:16:29,365 --> 00:16:30,949
- All right? All right.
- All right.

278
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,117
See you soon, man.

279
00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:33,202
All right. See ya.

280
00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,620
(WHISTLING)

281
00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:44,546
Oh, litterbugs.

282
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:45,839
Come on.

283
00:16:49,635 --> 00:16:50,969
Biotine?

284
00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,723
How'd you get way out here?

285
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,060
Well, Peter Morris, finders keepers.

286
00:16:58,310 --> 00:16:59,311
(WHISTLING)

287
00:16:59,395 --> 00:17:00,396
(LEAVES RUSTLING)

288
00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,234
Hello?

289
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:07,986
(FAINT GRUNTING)

290
00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:12,074
Hello?

291
00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:17,913
(SCREAMS)

292
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:21,917
(SNARLING)

293
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,216
(SCREECHING)

294
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,261
(WHIMPERING)

295
00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:38,100
What's wrong with you?

296
00:17:38,726 --> 00:17:40,060
You A-wipe!

297
00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:42,855
C-word! All the other words!

298
00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:45,774
Oh, doodle!

299
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,401
That's my lucky knife!

300
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:06,879
Teach you to mess
with Scout Leader Rogers!

301
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:08,380
(SCREAMING)

302
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,851
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
THROUGH SPEAKERS)

303
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:22,853
BEN: So we're just gonna
walk in there like this.

304
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,855
No I.D.'s, just buy some beer?

305
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,440
Just give me the $20, fool. Come on.

306
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,400
Cough it up.

307
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,444
Any day now. Come on.

308
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,279
Hang on. It's Velcro. It takes a second.

309
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,406
Watch a pro.

310
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:40,621
Hi, sir. How are you today?

311
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:41,872
Hey, baby.

312
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,833
Oh, nice. Great plan, Carter.

313
00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:47,753
Just give the money to a drunk bum.
That'll work.

314
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:50,672
Yeah!

315
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,508
CARTER: Just the cheap stuff.

316
00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:57,346
(SIGHS)

317
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,308
Did you see Officer Hottie?

318
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,727
No. I was too busy
watching you lose 20 bucks.

319
00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:05,354
Okay, I gave him
very specific instructions.

320
00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:07,147
He's gonna buy us a couple of six packs,

321
00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:08,941
and he can keep the change.

322
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:10,526
Jesus.

323
00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:12,778
Whoa.

324
00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:15,823
Holy shit, dude. That's her.

325
00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:17,533
What? Who?

326
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,535
It's Denise What's-her-face.

327
00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:20,744
She went to our high school.

328
00:19:20,828 --> 00:19:22,228
She dropped out a couple years ago.

329
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,581
Now she's a stripper.

330
00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:25,791
BEN: How do you even know that?

331
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,209
CARTER: She's a legend.

332
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:31,547
What the fuck is he... Jesus Christ.

333
00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:35,884
Sir!

334
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,389
I'm not paying for these items.

335
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:42,391
Sir?

336
00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:46,895
- Shit!
- Oh, uh...

337
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:51,066
It's okay. I got it. Seriously, I got it.

338
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,988
Fucking ghetto-ass bag.

339
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,239
Here.

340
00:19:58,407 --> 00:20:00,409
What are you doing?

341
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:03,120
It's a sheet bend knot.

342
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,288
It's impossible to break.

343
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,372
You're pretty handy.

344
00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:07,249
Thanks.

345
00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,333
Get out.

346
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:09,751
- Nice legs.
- Huh?

347
00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:12,337
Costume party?

348
00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:13,922
Oh, no, I'm...

349
00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:15,757
I'm a Scout.

350
00:20:15,841 --> 00:20:17,259
Like an actual Scout?

351
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:18,822
Yeah, well. We got a campout tonight.

352
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:22,097
So you work across the street?

353
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,516
Yep. Glamorous, huh?

354
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,935
Yeah. I mean, I've never been in,

355
00:20:27,019 --> 00:20:28,770
but I hear it's nice.

356
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:30,939
It's got a good Yelp review.

357
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,190
(LAUGHS)

358
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,525
- What?
- Nothing.

359
00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:34,969
You're just... You're really cute.

360
00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:37,112
Thanks.

361
00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:39,197
Come on, Carter.

362
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:41,700
Please tell me
you did not ask that guy to buy you beer.

363
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:42,784
No, it was his idea.

364
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:44,119
Rookies.

365
00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:45,871
Where are you...

366
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:47,247
CARTER: I need my $20 back.

367
00:20:47,331 --> 00:20:49,166
It's not all yours.

368
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,959
(CONTINUE ARGUING)

369
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:52,628
You're dirty. Look how dirty...

370
00:20:58,133 --> 00:20:59,384
Here.

371
00:20:59,468 --> 00:21:00,844
Thank you.

372
00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:06,975
Thank you. Here.

373
00:21:07,476 --> 00:21:08,810
Oh, my God. Thank you.

374
00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:11,146
You're the most amazing person ever.
Thank you.

375
00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,481
Yeah. Thanks.

376
00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:14,942
It's cool. And thanks for the help, Legs.

377
00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:16,026
Yeah.

378
00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:19,071
Dude, what the fuck was that?

379
00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:20,364
CARTER: Oh, my God.

380
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:23,325
I would tongue-pound
her salty walrus any day of the week.

381
00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:25,577
BEN: Oh, shit.

382
00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:27,245
- He's staring at us.
- Go.

383
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,933
Dude, I thought you said
that Kendall broke up with that Jeff guy.

384
00:21:34,086 --> 00:21:35,671
CARTER: Dude, I thought so too.

385
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:37,422
It's like, one moment, they're together

386
00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:39,925
and the next moment, they're broken up.

387
00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,343
So he's a dick.

388
00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:42,511
(IMITATING BIRD)

389
00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:45,055
(CAWING)

390
00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:46,640
(BELCHES)

391
00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:49,101
CARTER: It's like no doubt...

392
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:50,310
Hey, guys!

393
00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:51,436
Hey, what's up?

394
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,855
All right. Campsite is halfway set up.

395
00:21:53,939 --> 00:21:54,940
- Nice.
- Great.

396
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,441
- What's up?
- What's up?

397
00:21:56,525 --> 00:21:57,651
What's up?

398
00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:59,528
Oh! Too slow. Too slow, buddy.

399
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:00,821
Where's Scout Leader Rogers?

400
00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:02,280
He was supposed to be
here to help me set up,

401
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:03,532
but so far he's a no-show.

402
00:22:04,533 --> 00:22:06,618
That's weird. He's never late.

403
00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:08,787
Yeah. Maybe he quit Scouts.

404
00:22:08,954 --> 00:22:12,290
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
Quit Scouts? Yeah, right.

405
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:13,875
That's hysterical!

406
00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:15,961
Want to know what I think it is?
I think it's a test.

407
00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:17,129
A test?

408
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:19,172
Well, yeah.
I'm getting my Condor Badge today.

409
00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:21,133
I have to prove that I'm ready.

410
00:22:21,550 --> 00:22:22,551
Yeah, and check this out.

411
00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:24,394
I'm charting diets for
the Animal Study Badge

412
00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:25,721
and I walked right into that.

413
00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:27,639
- What is this?
- It's deer scat.

414
00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:31,393
Oh, dude! What the fuck, man?

415
00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:33,145
Carter! I needed that!

416
00:22:33,228 --> 00:22:34,980
You needed that? It's shit, Augie!

417
00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:36,648
No one needs shit!

418
00:22:36,732 --> 00:22:38,400
I need it!
I've been looking all week for it.

419
00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:40,444
Oh, God. It's gonna be a long night.

420
00:22:42,446 --> 00:22:44,239
Just feeding it through, in and out.

421
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:45,741
Oh, yeah.

422
00:22:46,074 --> 00:22:47,576
There you go.

423
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,828
- Good job, bud.
- I did it!

424
00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:50,954
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

425
00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:25,655
(GROANS)

426
00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:29,367
What the fuck, man?
Was that your ass?

427
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,857
Beans? Weenies?

428
00:24:00,941 --> 00:24:02,901
Why do we always
have to eat welfare food?

429
00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:04,778
Because we're camping, Carter.
What do you want?

430
00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:06,905
Something artisan.
Something that doesn't make me

431
00:24:06,988 --> 00:24:08,573
fart every five seconds.

432
00:24:08,657 --> 00:24:09,991
Shut up. Quit being such a bitch.

433
00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:12,828
Augie? Augie?

434
00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:14,830
Hey, Augie!

435
00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:15,914
Use my lighter.

436
00:24:15,997 --> 00:24:18,542
I'm not gonna get my Fire Making Badge
using a lighter, Carter.

437
00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:19,751
- Just use it.
- No!

438
00:24:19,835 --> 00:24:21,419
- Why?
- AUGIE: 'Cause!

439
00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:22,504
BEN: Augie.

440
00:24:23,839 --> 00:24:26,842
Augie, just use it.
You can get it next time.

441
00:24:30,512 --> 00:24:33,598
What the fuck?
Why the hell can't I get service?

442
00:24:33,682 --> 00:24:34,850
Carter, we're in the woods.

443
00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:36,476
I always get service up here.

444
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:37,769
Maybe Mother Nature wants you

445
00:24:37,853 --> 00:24:40,272
to put the phone away, Carter,
and be in the moment.

446
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:42,941
Oh, is that what Mother Nature wants?

447
00:24:43,024 --> 00:24:44,693
Maybe Mother Nature wants this.

448
00:24:46,403 --> 00:24:47,404
(BOTH LAUGHING)

449
00:24:48,864 --> 00:24:50,615
Fucking bull's-eye, man!

450
00:24:50,699 --> 00:24:52,450
You're an asshead, Carter.

451
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,828
Wait! No, no, no, no! Don't take it off.

452
00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:56,705
Here we go. Wait. Hold still.

453
00:24:56,788 --> 00:24:59,791
Hold still. Ready? Say, "marshmallow."

454
00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:02,210
Carter sucks donkey balls.

455
00:25:02,294 --> 00:25:03,295
(CAMERA CLICKS)

456
00:25:03,587 --> 00:25:04,629
Wow.

457
00:25:04,713 --> 00:25:06,464
That's a thing of beauty.

458
00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:08,133
You better not post that.

459
00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:10,136
I'm definitely posting that.
It's my masterpiece.

460
00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:13,054
All right. BRB, guys. I got to pee.

461
00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:17,434
(OWL HOOTING)

462
00:25:17,893 --> 00:25:18,935
Barn owl?

463
00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:21,313
I think it's a spotted owl.

464
00:25:22,147 --> 00:25:23,732
Yeah, you're probably right.

465
00:25:24,357 --> 00:25:25,358
Hey.

466
00:25:25,442 --> 00:25:29,154
Guess what I found
when I was hiking up here?

467
00:25:29,237 --> 00:25:31,114
I found the tree
we carved our initials into.

468
00:25:31,198 --> 00:25:32,407
- No way!
- Yeah.

469
00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:33,491
- Really?
- Yeah.

470
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:35,327
Wow. That was like seven years ago.

471
00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:37,662
I know. Crazy, right?

472
00:25:37,746 --> 00:25:39,539
Oh. That was the same day
Carter sat on the cactus

473
00:25:39,623 --> 00:25:41,499
when he was taking a shit, right?

474
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:42,876
(BOTH LAUGHING)

475
00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:45,041
And your dad had to pick out
the needles. (CHUCKLES)

476
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:47,672
Yeah.

477
00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:58,767
Augie, I know we don't talk
about your dad much,

478
00:26:00,435 --> 00:26:02,520
but it's okay if you want to.

479
00:26:04,522 --> 00:26:06,691
I just don't want to be
a downer, you know.

480
00:26:06,775 --> 00:26:08,276
Come on, Augie,
you're not being a downer.

481
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:09,527
He was your dad.

482
00:26:09,945 --> 00:26:11,613
You can talk about him.

483
00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:14,616
Thanks, Ben.

484
00:26:15,116 --> 00:26:16,952
Yeah. Of course.

485
00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,288
Hey.

486
00:26:21,957 --> 00:26:22,999
Scouts forever?

487
00:26:24,626 --> 00:26:26,628
Yeah. Scouts forever.

488
00:26:41,476 --> 00:26:42,894
(WHISPERING) Ben. Hey.

489
00:26:43,186 --> 00:26:44,229
Come on, Ben. Let's go.

490
00:26:44,312 --> 00:26:45,730
Carter, I don't know about this.

491
00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:47,190
Will you stop crying about this?

492
00:26:47,274 --> 00:26:49,234
Let's go. Come on, we're doing this.

493
00:26:49,317 --> 00:26:51,569
Let's go. Come on.

494
00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:52,696
Come on.

495
00:26:58,159 --> 00:26:59,160
(SNORING)

496
00:27:02,122 --> 00:27:03,540
(FAINT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

497
00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:08,336
(ALL CHEERING)

498
00:27:35,155 --> 00:27:36,364
(GARGLING)

499
00:27:41,536 --> 00:27:42,954
Are we interrupting?

500
00:27:43,455 --> 00:27:44,998
(ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

501
00:27:46,374 --> 00:27:47,459
You look amazing.

502
00:27:47,542 --> 00:27:48,543
Thank you.

503
00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:49,878
Hey, have you guys seen my brother?

504
00:27:49,961 --> 00:27:51,463
He should have been here by now.

505
00:27:52,047 --> 00:27:54,299
No. I haven't seen him anywhere, no.

506
00:27:54,716 --> 00:27:56,676
But look,
I'm sure he'll be here any second. Okay?

507
00:27:59,554 --> 00:28:02,057
Dude. What if Augie wakes up
and we're not there?

508
00:28:02,140 --> 00:28:03,308
He's not gonna wake up.

509
00:28:03,391 --> 00:28:05,560
If Chewbacca was fucking
Bigfoot in our campsite,

510
00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:07,395
he'd still be asleep.

511
00:28:07,604 --> 00:28:08,605
Whoa.

512
00:28:08,897 --> 00:28:10,732
- What is that?
- What?

513
00:28:12,442 --> 00:28:14,235
Look. Look, he was here.

514
00:28:14,319 --> 00:28:16,529
Okay. So, he decided to go back home.

515
00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:17,614
He changed his mind.

516
00:28:17,697 --> 00:28:20,575
No, no, no. Scout Leader Rogers
would never leave his lucky knife.

517
00:28:20,658 --> 00:28:21,910
I think something's wrong.

518
00:28:21,993 --> 00:28:24,621
Dude, what's wrong
is us sitting here talking about this.

519
00:28:24,704 --> 00:28:25,955
Give me that.

520
00:28:26,664 --> 00:28:28,166
Dude, look. Look at his prints.

521
00:28:28,249 --> 00:28:30,585
His foot was dragging like
he had a limp or something.

522
00:28:30,668 --> 00:28:33,254
(SIGHS) Okay.
Hurray for your mad tracking skills.

523
00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:35,507
Can we just... Can we go? Please?

524
00:28:44,307 --> 00:28:45,308
What?

525
00:28:45,392 --> 00:28:46,768
I just think something
really bad happened to him.

526
00:28:46,851 --> 00:28:49,104
- Are we still talking about Rogers?
- Yeah.

527
00:28:49,187 --> 00:28:51,439
Dude, he is sitting at home
dressed up like Dolly Parton

528
00:28:51,523 --> 00:28:53,191
singing show tunes. Relax.

529
00:28:55,068 --> 00:28:56,069
(ENGINE STARTS)

530
00:28:57,612 --> 00:28:58,947
Oh, shit.

531
00:29:01,116 --> 00:29:03,118
Augie, wait! Augie!

532
00:29:03,201 --> 00:29:04,369
Augie!

533
00:29:06,287 --> 00:29:07,527
I thought we were best friends.

534
00:29:07,580 --> 00:29:08,665
We are best friends.

535
00:29:08,748 --> 00:29:10,625
- We were coming back.
- Really?

536
00:29:10,708 --> 00:29:12,168
After your party?

537
00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:14,879
You know about that?

538
00:29:14,963 --> 00:29:16,339
Everybody knows about
the senior party, Carter.

539
00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:17,715
Even a loser like me.

540
00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:18,842
Augie, don't say that.

541
00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:20,218
Why not? It's what you guys think!

542
00:29:20,301 --> 00:29:21,886
We don't think you're a loser.

543
00:29:21,970 --> 00:29:23,721
Ben, just tell him.

544
00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:24,806
Carter, no.

545
00:29:24,889 --> 00:29:26,474
Yeah, tell me, Ben.

546
00:29:26,891 --> 00:29:28,726
Come on! Say it!

547
00:29:28,810 --> 00:29:30,290
CARTER: We're quitting Scouts, Augie.

548
00:29:33,481 --> 00:29:36,025
Look, it was fun when we were kids.

549
00:29:37,819 --> 00:29:41,364
But we have to grow up, man.

550
00:29:42,657 --> 00:29:45,243
Augie. We're still gonna be best friends.

551
00:29:47,912 --> 00:29:49,330
Go to your party.

552
00:29:51,249 --> 00:29:52,500
Augie.

553
00:29:53,001 --> 00:29:54,127
Augie, wait!

554
00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:56,671
Augie, come on!

555
00:30:00,175 --> 00:30:01,843
Just leave him, Ben.

556
00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:17,775
CARTER: What the fuck...
What's wrong with the radio?

557
00:30:17,859 --> 00:30:19,110
Carter, are you seeing this?

558
00:30:19,194 --> 00:30:20,278
Seeing what?

559
00:30:20,361 --> 00:30:22,697
Look. The town's deserted.

560
00:30:24,365 --> 00:30:25,867
Everyone's probably asleep.

561
00:30:25,950 --> 00:30:27,368
On a Friday night?

562
00:30:28,286 --> 00:30:31,456
I don't know.
Something just feels really weird.

563
00:30:31,539 --> 00:30:32,957
Oh, hey. Pull over right here.

564
00:30:38,046 --> 00:30:40,882
I can't wait to get out of
these stupid uniforms.

565
00:30:41,466 --> 00:30:42,884
All right. Let's see here.

566
00:30:43,885 --> 00:30:46,471
We're just gonna change right here?

567
00:30:46,554 --> 00:30:47,889
Nobody's around.

568
00:30:48,723 --> 00:30:52,143
Let's see. Jeans. T-shirt.

569
00:30:52,227 --> 00:30:55,230
Condoms. Good to go. Uh...

570
00:30:55,897 --> 00:30:58,316
Forget socks? Yes, I did.

571
00:31:00,902 --> 00:31:01,903
(GLASS CLINKING)

572
00:31:05,073 --> 00:31:06,824
- CARTER: Holy shitballs!
- What?

573
00:31:06,908 --> 00:31:08,076
Dude, look.

574
00:31:08,159 --> 00:31:09,244
BEN: What?

575
00:31:09,327 --> 00:31:10,703
CARTER: The bouncer, he's gone!

576
00:31:11,412 --> 00:31:12,830
Carter, someone smashed the door.

577
00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:14,165
We should sneak in.

578
00:31:14,249 --> 00:31:16,084
- That's illegal.
- Let's sneak in. Come on. Let's do it.

579
00:31:16,167 --> 00:31:17,327
Carter, we can't go in there!

580
00:31:17,377 --> 00:31:18,419
Come on!

581
00:31:18,503 --> 00:31:19,671
BEN: We can't go in there.
We're minors.

582
00:31:19,754 --> 00:31:21,005
CARTER: It's the chance
of a lifetime. Who cares?

583
00:31:21,089 --> 00:31:22,131
BEN: What are you doing?

584
00:31:22,215 --> 00:31:23,675
CARTER: It's gonna be awesome!

585
00:31:23,758 --> 00:31:25,927
Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait.

586
00:31:27,345 --> 00:31:30,348
Okay, it's clear. Come on. Let's do it.

587
00:31:30,765 --> 00:31:31,766
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

588
00:31:33,017 --> 00:31:34,936
Sweet Jesus.

589
00:31:35,603 --> 00:31:37,438
This is it, Ben.

590
00:31:37,522 --> 00:31:38,898
We've made it.

591
00:31:38,982 --> 00:31:40,858
We're at the epicenter of pussy.

592
00:31:42,110 --> 00:31:44,195
Oh, shit.
I got to go to the ATM, get some cash.

593
00:31:44,279 --> 00:31:45,947
You find us a spot.

594
00:31:46,614 --> 00:31:50,201
Yeah. That shouldn't be too hard
since there's, like, nobody here.

595
00:33:23,628 --> 00:33:25,254
- Hey!
- (HOARSE BREATHING)

596
00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:28,383
My friend brought me here.
He's getting money.

597
00:33:30,218 --> 00:33:32,804
I have a girlfriend, sort of.

598
00:33:32,887 --> 00:33:33,888
(SNARLING)

599
00:33:34,055 --> 00:33:36,057
Don't worry, Mommy, Daddy's here!

600
00:33:37,975 --> 00:33:40,311
Dude, this is fucking awesome!

601
00:33:40,395 --> 00:33:41,646
Dude, something's wrong with her.

602
00:33:41,729 --> 00:33:44,190
Look at her chest. What's all over her?

603
00:33:44,273 --> 00:33:47,235
No, no. That's makeup, dummy.
It's a jungle theme.

604
00:33:48,945 --> 00:33:49,946
Oh, wow.

605
00:33:50,071 --> 00:33:51,823
This is so hot.

606
00:33:53,741 --> 00:33:54,909
Oh, my God.

607
00:33:55,576 --> 00:33:56,661
Oh, my God.

608
00:33:59,414 --> 00:34:01,165
Oh, my God!

609
00:34:02,250 --> 00:34:03,251
(GROWLING)

610
00:34:03,710 --> 00:34:05,420
(SCREAMING)

611
00:34:06,838 --> 00:34:08,339
Run! Quick, run!

612
00:34:09,674 --> 00:34:11,759
Door, door, door, door!

613
00:34:12,009 --> 00:34:13,010
(BANGING)

614
00:34:13,928 --> 00:34:15,346
(BOTH SCREAMING)

615
00:34:30,862 --> 00:34:31,863
(PANTING)

616
00:35:14,322 --> 00:35:15,740
(SNARLING)

617
00:35:22,663 --> 00:35:23,956
(YELLING)

618
00:35:27,668 --> 00:35:28,669
Ugh!

619
00:35:52,944 --> 00:35:54,862
Get up! Get up! Get up!

620
00:35:59,033 --> 00:36:01,285
- Carter!
- Ben? Ben.

621
00:36:02,620 --> 00:36:03,871
What the fuck is going on?

622
00:36:03,955 --> 00:36:05,122
I don't know! They're trying to kill us!

623
00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:07,375
- I just wanted to see some titties!
- BEN: I know!

624
00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:09,794
Wait. You're the stripper.

625
00:36:10,753 --> 00:36:12,088
Cocktail waitress.

626
00:36:12,213 --> 00:36:13,214
(DOORBELL RINGING)

627
00:36:28,729 --> 00:36:30,565
Scout Leader Rogers?

628
00:36:37,572 --> 00:36:39,740
Scout Leader Rogers, are you home?

629
00:36:42,785 --> 00:36:43,786
(IMITATES BIRD)

630
00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:51,335
Hello?

631
00:37:11,606 --> 00:37:13,357
Holy cow.

632
00:37:15,443 --> 00:37:16,777
(CARTER SCREAMING)

633
00:37:18,321 --> 00:37:19,780
Calm the fuck down!

634
00:37:19,864 --> 00:37:22,064
Calm down? Are you crazy?
We almost got killed in there!

635
00:37:22,116 --> 00:37:23,367
- Is that your ride?
- Can you please just tell us

636
00:37:23,451 --> 00:37:24,535
what the hell is going on?

637
00:37:24,619 --> 00:37:25,953
I really need to wash up
my face right now!

638
00:37:26,037 --> 00:37:27,079
Keys, now!

639
00:37:27,163 --> 00:37:28,205
No! Not until you tell us
what's happening.

640
00:37:28,289 --> 00:37:29,457
Anybody got a wet nap?

641
00:37:29,582 --> 00:37:30,708
What the fuck do you
think is happening?

642
00:37:30,791 --> 00:37:31,876
Everyone's eating each other!

643
00:37:31,959 --> 00:37:33,753
- Wait, like a...
- Yes, like that!

644
00:37:33,836 --> 00:37:34,837
That's not possible.

645
00:37:34,921 --> 00:37:35,922
I think it's possible, Ben.

646
00:37:36,005 --> 00:37:38,716
A dead stripper just tried to eat my face!

647
00:37:38,841 --> 00:37:40,009
- (GROWLING)
- Oh, shit!

648
00:37:40,551 --> 00:37:42,053
Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.

649
00:37:42,553 --> 00:37:43,888
Just shoot it! Shoot it!

650
00:37:51,896 --> 00:37:53,230
Yep. Zombie.

651
00:37:57,985 --> 00:37:59,654
Any more questions?

652
00:37:59,862 --> 00:38:01,614
(CLAMORING)

653
00:38:09,330 --> 00:38:10,998
Drive, dude, go! Come on!

654
00:38:11,123 --> 00:38:12,458
(ENGINE REVVING)

655
00:38:13,918 --> 00:38:15,586
Where are you going? What the fuck?

656
00:38:22,343 --> 00:38:23,344
Oh, shit!

657
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,515
Carter, get the tire!

658
00:38:32,728 --> 00:38:33,896
CARTER: I got it.

659
00:38:33,980 --> 00:38:36,482
Guys, hurry up!
They're getting pretty fucking close!

660
00:38:37,984 --> 00:38:40,152
- Come on!
- I'm going as fast as I can.

661
00:38:40,236 --> 00:38:41,445
Find the fucking lug nuts.

662
00:38:44,031 --> 00:38:45,032
Fuck.

663
00:38:47,702 --> 00:38:49,453
Seriously, hurry the fuck up!

664
00:38:49,537 --> 00:38:51,205
I got them! Here. Here.

665
00:38:51,539 --> 00:38:53,040
Put it on!

666
00:38:53,374 --> 00:38:55,042
Okay. Good. Put it on! Put it on!

667
00:38:55,292 --> 00:38:56,293
Fuck!

668
00:39:02,550 --> 00:39:03,551
BEN: I got it!

669
00:39:06,137 --> 00:39:07,638
(LOUD GROWLING)

670
00:39:07,722 --> 00:39:08,806
CARTER: Oh, shit!

671
00:39:08,889 --> 00:39:10,891
You got to be fucking kidding me.

672
00:39:16,731 --> 00:39:17,857
Go! Go! Go!

673
00:39:38,002 --> 00:39:39,837
(STOMACH GURGLING)

674
00:39:41,922 --> 00:39:42,923
(CONTINUES)

675
00:39:47,386 --> 00:39:48,929
(FARTING)

676
00:39:49,597 --> 00:39:50,598
(EXHALES)

677
00:39:59,982 --> 00:40:00,983
(WHISTLING)

678
00:40:28,636 --> 00:40:29,637
(SPRAYING)

679
00:40:42,024 --> 00:40:43,025
(FLUSHING)

680
00:40:53,744 --> 00:40:55,704
Scout Leader Rogers!
What happened tonight?

681
00:40:55,788 --> 00:40:57,498
- We were worried about you.
- (SNIFFING)

682
00:40:58,916 --> 00:41:02,920
I know. It's bad. I'm so sorry.
I had to use your bathroom.

683
00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:04,588
I think it was the beans.

684
00:41:05,506 --> 00:41:07,341
And the marshmallows.

685
00:41:07,424 --> 00:41:08,592
(ROGERS GROANING)

686
00:41:08,676 --> 00:41:11,512
I tried spraying. It just lingers.

687
00:41:18,769 --> 00:41:20,312
(STAMMERING)

688
00:41:21,272 --> 00:41:22,314
- Your neck!
- (GROWLING)

689
00:41:22,648 --> 00:41:23,649
(SCREAMS)

690
00:41:24,859 --> 00:41:26,527
Scout Leader Rogers! Please!

691
00:41:30,739 --> 00:41:33,059
I think you're having a bad
allergic reaction to something!

692
00:41:33,117 --> 00:41:35,327
We need to get you to a doctor!

693
00:41:35,703 --> 00:41:36,863
- (GROWLS)
- (AUGIE SCREAMING)

694
00:41:38,205 --> 00:41:40,207
(UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC
PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS)

695
00:41:50,134 --> 00:41:51,177
(YELPS)

696
00:42:09,111 --> 00:42:10,905
(WHIMPERING)

697
00:42:27,338 --> 00:42:28,339
(YELLING)

698
00:42:40,559 --> 00:42:41,769
(SCREAMING)

699
00:43:11,632 --> 00:43:13,676
(READING) "All evacuation
buses have departed.

700
00:43:13,759 --> 00:43:15,094
"Proceed north on Route 1

701
00:43:15,177 --> 00:43:17,554
"to the security checkpoint
at mile marker 17."

702
00:43:17,638 --> 00:43:19,974
Oh, shit. They evacuated the town.

703
00:43:20,057 --> 00:43:21,058
CARTER: That's great.

704
00:43:21,141 --> 00:43:22,701
I missed the party, and I missed Chloe,

705
00:43:22,768 --> 00:43:24,895
- and now I'm gonna die.
- Guys.

706
00:43:24,979 --> 00:43:26,063
Carter, calm down!
We need to figure out

707
00:43:26,146 --> 00:43:27,690
- what we're gonna do.
- Guys!

708
00:43:33,988 --> 00:43:35,072
DENISE: Come on.

709
00:43:38,325 --> 00:43:39,827
Go, go, go!

710
00:43:39,910 --> 00:43:41,578
- Carter, lock it!
- I'm trying to fuckin' lock it, man!

711
00:43:41,662 --> 00:43:42,663
It's not working.

712
00:43:45,499 --> 00:43:47,418
BEN: Come on!
CARTER: I'm trying!

713
00:43:47,501 --> 00:43:48,669
Move!

714
00:43:50,754 --> 00:43:51,755
Come on!

715
00:43:54,591 --> 00:43:55,592
(GUNSHOT)

716
00:44:07,604 --> 00:44:09,106
Carter, get the ax!

717
00:44:22,077 --> 00:44:23,370
(GLASS SMASHING)

718
00:44:27,624 --> 00:44:29,144
- BEN: Go, go, go.
- (CARTER SCREAMING)

719
00:44:33,213 --> 00:44:34,882
They're coming!

720
00:44:50,397 --> 00:44:51,398
This way!

721
00:44:52,649 --> 00:44:53,817
Fuck!

722
00:45:07,247 --> 00:45:09,750
This is fucking awesome! Now what?

723
00:45:14,671 --> 00:45:18,008
I'm really sorry
I set you on fire, Scout Leader Rogers.

724
00:45:18,092 --> 00:45:19,812
But hopefully, it's not as bad as it looks.

725
00:45:19,843 --> 00:45:21,303
(SNARLING)

726
00:45:22,763 --> 00:45:24,431
I used a double overhand stopper knot.

727
00:45:25,641 --> 00:45:27,601
It's hard to get out of, right?

728
00:45:28,143 --> 00:45:29,144
Oh!

729
00:45:29,937 --> 00:45:31,688
Okay. All right.

730
00:45:35,943 --> 00:45:38,946
Okay, now. I'll be right back.

731
00:45:39,613 --> 00:45:41,031
Just stay there.

732
00:45:51,959 --> 00:45:52,960
(CRASHING)

733
00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:55,421
(ROGERS WHIMPERING)

734
00:46:10,269 --> 00:46:11,728
Dude, what the fuck?

735
00:46:12,312 --> 00:46:14,064
Haven't you had enough to eat? Jesus.

736
00:46:15,107 --> 00:46:16,567
Carter, stop agitating them.

737
00:46:16,650 --> 00:46:18,110
What? I need a new profile pic.

738
00:46:21,947 --> 00:46:24,533
So, do you think
they evacuated everyone at the party?

739
00:46:24,616 --> 00:46:26,034
Yeah, of course. They had to.

740
00:46:27,244 --> 00:46:29,121
At least we know our parents are okay.

741
00:46:29,204 --> 00:46:30,873
- Yeah.
- Where are they?

742
00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:33,625
They went to some
lame spiritual yoga retreat.

743
00:46:33,709 --> 00:46:35,544
Ugh. I think I'd rather be in here.

744
00:46:38,714 --> 00:46:39,715
(SIGHS)

745
00:46:41,425 --> 00:46:42,968
I hope Augie's okay.

746
00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:45,304
- DENISE: Who's Augie?
- He's our best friend.

747
00:46:45,387 --> 00:46:47,055
Well, ex-best friend now.

748
00:46:47,473 --> 00:46:48,515
Why ex?

749
00:46:48,599 --> 00:46:50,225
Because we ditched him for a party.

750
00:46:50,309 --> 00:46:51,810
Ben, we were gonna go back.

751
00:46:51,894 --> 00:46:53,937
Whatever, Carter. We ditched him.
We're bad friends.

752
00:46:54,021 --> 00:46:56,190
Why didn't you guys
just take him with you?

753
00:46:57,983 --> 00:46:59,735
You don't know Augie.

754
00:46:59,818 --> 00:47:01,570
- What?
- He's just different.

755
00:47:01,653 --> 00:47:02,738
Big geek?

756
00:47:02,821 --> 00:47:04,907
He collects deer shit
and weaves baskets.

757
00:47:04,990 --> 00:47:06,283
Okay? You do the math.

758
00:47:07,159 --> 00:47:08,243
Okay.

759
00:47:08,327 --> 00:47:09,453
Word of advice,

760
00:47:09,536 --> 00:47:11,497
chasing parties and popularity
in high school?

761
00:47:11,580 --> 00:47:12,789
It's a total dead end.

762
00:47:12,873 --> 00:47:14,333
None of that shit will matter later.

763
00:47:14,416 --> 00:47:16,084
Trust me. I know.

764
00:47:16,168 --> 00:47:18,253
You're right, but didn't you,
like, drop out of high school?

765
00:47:18,378 --> 00:47:20,088
- No, I got my GED.
- Why?

766
00:47:20,214 --> 00:47:22,424
'Cause not everybody has
a lily-white life like you do.

767
00:47:22,508 --> 00:47:24,301
Okay. God, you're so hostile.

768
00:47:24,384 --> 00:47:27,012
No, hostile is three seconds from
now when my foot's up your ass.

769
00:47:27,095 --> 00:47:28,514
Okay, yeah. Try all you want,

770
00:47:28,597 --> 00:47:29,890
but I happen to have
a very tight asshole.

771
00:47:29,973 --> 00:47:31,533
I think I could stretch it out for you.

772
00:47:31,558 --> 00:47:33,018
Oh, well, then lube me up, baby.

773
00:47:33,101 --> 00:47:35,771
Carter! We're gonna play
the quiet game now, okay?

774
00:47:37,064 --> 00:47:38,941
All right, you know what? Fine.

775
00:47:39,608 --> 00:47:41,276
I'm over both of you.

776
00:47:50,577 --> 00:47:52,412
You're pretty good at that.

777
00:47:52,496 --> 00:47:54,998
Yeah, I guess
that Whittling Badge finally paid off.

778
00:47:55,165 --> 00:47:56,375
(CHUCKLES)

779
00:47:59,127 --> 00:48:00,379
What about you?

780
00:48:00,462 --> 00:48:01,672
What about me?

781
00:48:01,755 --> 00:48:04,091
How'd you learn
to use a shotgun like that?

782
00:48:05,259 --> 00:48:08,345
My ex-boyfriend was really into guns.

783
00:48:08,428 --> 00:48:11,265
He used to drag me to
the firing range once a week.

784
00:48:11,348 --> 00:48:12,349
Oh.

785
00:48:12,766 --> 00:48:15,435
So, no boyfriend now?

786
00:48:15,519 --> 00:48:16,853
Not if I can help it.

787
00:48:17,813 --> 00:48:19,356
Well, why do you say that?

788
00:48:19,439 --> 00:48:20,983
I don't know.

789
00:48:21,316 --> 00:48:23,610
Let's just say,
I have really shitty taste in guys.

790
00:48:23,944 --> 00:48:26,029
I'm better off alone.

791
00:48:26,113 --> 00:48:27,990
Nobody's better off alone.

792
00:48:28,073 --> 00:48:29,449
Yeah, well, I am.

793
00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:32,828
CARTER: Aww,
what a beautiful moment.

794
00:48:33,787 --> 00:48:35,414
Ow! Asshole, that hurt!

795
00:48:35,497 --> 00:48:37,374
- Yeah, that was the point!
- Oh, was that the point?

796
00:48:37,457 --> 00:48:38,667
- Guys! Shh!
- (MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE)

797
00:48:39,042 --> 00:48:40,252
Do you hear that?

798
00:48:40,335 --> 00:48:41,545
Is that <i>Crank That?</i>

799
00:48:43,714 --> 00:48:45,048
BEN: They're leaving.

800
00:48:45,340 --> 00:48:46,383
I love this song!

801
00:48:46,466 --> 00:48:47,509
You would.

802
00:48:47,718 --> 00:48:49,720
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
THROUGH SPEAKERS)

803
00:48:58,645 --> 00:48:59,855
Look! Right there.

804
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:00,939
Fuck. But they're gonna come back.

805
00:49:01,023 --> 00:49:02,065
What are we gonna do?

806
00:49:02,149 --> 00:49:03,525
- Condoms!
- What?

807
00:49:03,650 --> 00:49:06,194
Carter, give me your condoms! Hurry!

808
00:49:08,238 --> 00:49:10,324
Here. Take them
and open them and tie them together.

809
00:49:10,407 --> 00:49:11,408
DENISE: Why are we doing this?

810
00:49:11,491 --> 00:49:12,618
- Just do it!
- Okay, okay.

811
00:49:12,701 --> 00:49:13,869
CARTER: Here's one.

812
00:49:13,994 --> 00:49:15,329
Come on, hurry!

813
00:49:25,088 --> 00:49:26,798
(CAR ALARM BLARING)

814
00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,467
(SNARLING)

815
00:49:40,270 --> 00:49:42,522
Here we go. Fly fishing. It's genius.

816
00:49:43,690 --> 00:49:46,777
Go on, just a little bit.
Get it right up there.

817
00:49:46,860 --> 00:49:48,862
There you go. Come on.

818
00:49:48,945 --> 00:49:49,988
It's right up there!

819
00:49:51,740 --> 00:49:53,575
You got it, come on.

820
00:49:55,869 --> 00:49:58,038
CARTER: Good work. Yes! Yes!

821
00:49:58,914 --> 00:49:59,915
No, no, no!

822
00:50:01,875 --> 00:50:02,918
Jesus!

823
00:50:03,001 --> 00:50:04,001
You got arrested?

824
00:50:04,044 --> 00:50:05,170
BEN: No,
we locked ourselves in.

825
00:50:05,253 --> 00:50:06,505
- How?
- It was an accident!

826
00:50:06,588 --> 00:50:07,964
This has to be Augie.

827
00:50:08,048 --> 00:50:09,091
Augie, get the keys.

828
00:50:09,216 --> 00:50:11,016
You kicked them
into the drainpipe over there.

829
00:50:12,219 --> 00:50:13,637
- I can't reach it!
- BEN: Shit!

830
00:50:13,720 --> 00:50:14,846
Shit, they're coming back.

831
00:50:14,930 --> 00:50:16,056
Hold on.

832
00:50:17,182 --> 00:50:19,184
What, is there a
Lockpicking Badge I'm unaware of?

833
00:50:19,893 --> 00:50:20,894
How'd you find us?

834
00:50:21,019 --> 00:50:22,299
Followed the stench of betrayal.

835
00:50:22,354 --> 00:50:23,355
Augie...

836
00:50:23,438 --> 00:50:25,691
I saw your car. I figured I'd help.

837
00:50:25,774 --> 00:50:27,442
- Augie, look, I'm really...
- Got it!

838
00:50:36,118 --> 00:50:38,453
Go, go, go!

839
00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:44,918
Close the gate!

840
00:50:53,135 --> 00:50:54,803
Oh...

841
00:50:56,805 --> 00:50:58,473
...my...

842
00:51:00,308 --> 00:51:02,978
...God.

843
00:51:03,437 --> 00:51:04,438
Carter, let's go!

844
00:51:06,606 --> 00:51:08,442
- Come on!
- CARTER: Okay!

845
00:51:09,818 --> 00:51:12,237
Oh, God. I touched them!
I touched them!

846
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:13,822
I don't think they were real.

847
00:51:18,326 --> 00:51:20,579
DENISE: Fuck,
my feet are killing me.

848
00:51:20,662 --> 00:51:23,081
The security checkpoint's
only a few miles away.

849
00:51:23,165 --> 00:51:25,709
Dude, I'm starving.

850
00:51:25,792 --> 00:51:29,379
How can you even think of food
when people are being eaten alive?

851
00:51:29,463 --> 00:51:32,215
You know, they say that
humans taste like pork.

852
00:51:32,299 --> 00:51:33,717
"They"?

853
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:34,800
Cannibals, I guess.

854
00:51:34,843 --> 00:51:36,261
Dude, I love bacon.

855
00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:37,596
BEN: Hey, look.

856
00:51:37,679 --> 00:51:39,473
Maybe the keys are inside.

857
00:51:44,770 --> 00:51:45,771
(GROWLING)

858
00:51:46,646 --> 00:51:47,814
Jesus! This guy again?

859
00:51:47,898 --> 00:51:49,441
CARTER: Someone kill him!

860
00:51:49,524 --> 00:51:52,068
Carter, we can't just keep
going around killing people.

861
00:51:52,152 --> 00:51:53,236
Why not?

862
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:54,400
Because he's a human being!

863
00:51:54,446 --> 00:51:55,566
Okay. We'll see how you feel

864
00:51:55,655 --> 00:51:57,575
when he's eating
your nutsack like a street taco.

865
00:51:58,950 --> 00:52:01,203
Um, guys, he's getting pretty close.

866
00:52:01,286 --> 00:52:02,746
Remember our
Wilderness Safety Seminar?

867
00:52:02,829 --> 00:52:03,829
What?

868
00:52:03,872 --> 00:52:06,082
When encountering a hostile creature,
be sure to assert yourself

869
00:52:06,166 --> 00:52:07,751
in order to keep the animal at bay.

870
00:52:07,834 --> 00:52:09,127
Well, I...

871
00:52:09,461 --> 00:52:10,462
(GROWLS)

872
00:52:10,545 --> 00:52:12,881
That is a zombie, not a bear, dumbass.

873
00:52:13,048 --> 00:52:14,049
(ROARING)

874
00:52:18,136 --> 00:52:19,137
(GROWLS SOFTLY)

875
00:52:19,888 --> 00:52:20,889
(MIMICS GROWL)

876
00:52:22,390 --> 00:52:23,850
(ROARS SOFTLY)

877
00:52:24,935 --> 00:52:25,977
(MIMICS)

878
00:52:26,853 --> 00:52:27,938
Guys, I think he's mimicking me.

879
00:52:28,021 --> 00:52:29,356
Augie, quit messing around.

880
00:52:34,402 --> 00:52:35,487
(SOFTLY) Augie.

881
00:52:41,868 --> 00:52:43,411
(SINGING)

882
00:52:49,042 --> 00:52:50,043
What?

883
00:52:52,629 --> 00:52:53,922
Augie, what are you doing?

884
00:53:04,599 --> 00:53:05,767
(SINGING)

885
00:53:05,851 --> 00:53:07,060
What are you doing?

886
00:53:15,819 --> 00:53:16,820
(ALL SINGING)

887
00:53:22,033 --> 00:53:23,493
Okay. Did I just drop acid,

888
00:53:23,577 --> 00:53:26,079
or are they really singing
Britney Spears with a zombie?

889
00:53:32,127 --> 00:53:33,128
(GUN FIRING)

890
00:53:33,253 --> 00:53:34,254
(ALL GASPING)

891
00:53:44,681 --> 00:53:45,932
Is that all of you?

892
00:53:46,016 --> 00:53:47,517
Yeah. What the hell's happening?

893
00:53:47,601 --> 00:53:50,020
Don't know yet.
Some kind of viral outbreak.

894
00:53:50,103 --> 00:53:52,439
CDC ordered a military
containment perimeter.

895
00:53:52,522 --> 00:53:53,648
Is most of the town evacuated?

896
00:53:53,732 --> 00:53:55,025
REEVES: As many as we could.

897
00:53:55,108 --> 00:53:57,777
This thing hit so hard and fast,
we're still trying to contain it.

898
00:53:57,903 --> 00:54:00,023
What about everyone at the party?
Were they evacuated?

899
00:54:00,614 --> 00:54:01,781
What party?

900
00:54:10,540 --> 00:54:12,959
(FAINT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

901
00:54:43,823 --> 00:54:46,076
Well, where is everybody?

902
00:54:46,159 --> 00:54:48,828
Nobody's here. It must be a mistake.

903
00:54:49,663 --> 00:54:52,082
Yeah, 1146 Dunton Avenue. This is it.

904
00:54:52,165 --> 00:54:55,251
It's not a mistake, Carter.
Jeff sent you a fake address.

905
00:54:55,335 --> 00:54:56,503
What?

906
00:54:56,586 --> 00:54:58,171
BEN: Carter, this is a waste plant.

907
00:54:58,254 --> 00:55:00,256
You get it? It's full of shit.

908
00:55:01,758 --> 00:55:03,969
Motherfucker! God damn it!

909
00:55:04,302 --> 00:55:06,721
I can't believe he sent us
a fucking fake address!

910
00:55:06,805 --> 00:55:07,889
BEN: Why does it surprise you?

911
00:55:07,973 --> 00:55:10,734
I mean, did you actually think
he was gonna invite us to a real party?

912
00:55:11,518 --> 00:55:12,686
Karma.

913
00:55:13,186 --> 00:55:14,270
What?

914
00:55:14,354 --> 00:55:16,022
- Nothing.
- No, speak up.

915
00:55:16,147 --> 00:55:17,732
Well, I just think it's a little ironic

916
00:55:17,816 --> 00:55:20,694
that, you know, you're all upset now
because you got ditched.

917
00:55:20,860 --> 00:55:23,446
Oh, okay.
So you're saying that we deserve it.

918
00:55:23,530 --> 00:55:25,156
We went to your stupid campout, dude.

919
00:55:25,240 --> 00:55:26,783
You lied to me.

920
00:55:26,866 --> 00:55:28,786
We've been lying to you
for the past three years!

921
00:55:28,827 --> 00:55:30,328
- Carter!
- Going to every Scout meeting,

922
00:55:30,412 --> 00:55:31,621
every lame field trip.

923
00:55:31,705 --> 00:55:32,956
Wearing these stupid fucking clothes

924
00:55:33,039 --> 00:55:34,124
so everybody can make fun of us.

925
00:55:34,207 --> 00:55:35,208
Carter, that's enough!

926
00:55:35,333 --> 00:55:37,013
Ben, you're not hiding
behind me this time.

927
00:55:37,085 --> 00:55:38,128
Tell him.

928
00:55:38,211 --> 00:55:39,337
Talk about how many times

929
00:55:39,421 --> 00:55:41,423
you said you hated Scouts,
how sick of it you were.

930
00:55:41,506 --> 00:55:43,299
- I never said that.
- Bullshit!

931
00:55:43,383 --> 00:55:44,467
No, no, no. It's fine.

932
00:55:44,551 --> 00:55:46,511
I guess it's time
for it to all come out, right?

933
00:55:47,178 --> 00:55:49,389
He's had a crush on Kendall
since sixth grade.

934
00:55:49,514 --> 00:55:50,890
- That is not true!
- AUGIE: Yes, it is.

935
00:55:51,016 --> 00:55:53,059
- Kendall? As in my sister Kendall?
- Mmm-hmm.

936
00:55:53,184 --> 00:55:54,602
- No.
- Dude, that's like incest.

937
00:55:54,686 --> 00:55:55,854
No, it's not, I'm not even related to her.

938
00:55:55,937 --> 00:55:56,980
So you do like her, then.

939
00:55:57,063 --> 00:55:58,523
- No, I don't like her!
- Told you.

940
00:55:58,606 --> 00:55:59,733
Shut up!

941
00:56:00,108 --> 00:56:01,109
Stop!

942
00:56:01,860 --> 00:56:04,320
Again with this shit? Jesus.

943
00:56:04,404 --> 00:56:05,905
Can't you just walkie someone?

944
00:56:07,699 --> 00:56:09,409
Hey, are you okay?

945
00:56:09,576 --> 00:56:10,577
(ROARING)

946
00:56:11,369 --> 00:56:13,121
Guys! (SCREAMING)

947
00:56:13,204 --> 00:56:14,914
Shit!

948
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,168
Get him!

949
00:56:21,588 --> 00:56:26,092
I'm so fucking sick of zombies!

950
00:56:27,761 --> 00:56:28,845
AUGIE: Yikes.

951
00:56:28,928 --> 00:56:29,929
Wa-wa-wee-wa.

952
00:56:30,013 --> 00:56:31,014
(RADIO STATIC)

953
00:56:35,060 --> 00:56:36,144
Shit!

954
00:56:40,565 --> 00:56:41,983
Hello! Is anybody there?

955
00:56:42,067 --> 00:56:43,443
MAN: <i>Evac complete.</i>

956
00:56:43,777 --> 00:56:44,903
No, no, no, no. We're still here!

957
00:56:44,986 --> 00:56:46,279
MAN: <i>We have Operation Clean Up.</i>

958
00:56:46,946 --> 00:56:50,283
<i>Commence aerial bombing
of site at 0300. Repeat, 0300. Over.</i>

959
00:56:50,366 --> 00:56:51,576
What?

960
00:56:51,659 --> 00:56:53,912
No, somebody help! Hello! Hello!

961
00:56:53,995 --> 00:56:56,206
Somebody help, please! Hello!

962
00:56:56,289 --> 00:56:57,373
Fuck!

963
00:56:57,457 --> 00:56:59,209
They're gonna bomb
the town in two hours?

964
00:56:59,292 --> 00:57:00,335
What are we gonna do?

965
00:57:00,418 --> 00:57:01,544
We have to find Kendall and the others!

966
00:57:01,628 --> 00:57:03,171
It's a secret party.
They could be anywhere.

967
00:57:03,338 --> 00:57:04,339
Shit.

968
00:57:05,090 --> 00:57:06,257
My sister's diary!

969
00:57:06,633 --> 00:57:09,385
She writes every last
boring detail of her life in there.

970
00:57:09,469 --> 00:57:12,388
I guarantee she wrote down
where the party is.

971
00:57:12,472 --> 00:57:13,973
We better get fucking going, then.

972
00:57:39,833 --> 00:57:40,834
Okay, now.

973
00:57:56,224 --> 00:57:57,350
(GROWLING)

974
00:57:57,517 --> 00:57:58,601
(CATS SNARLING)

975
00:58:14,325 --> 00:58:15,702
(SOFTLY) All right, come on.

976
00:58:26,212 --> 00:58:28,798
Whew! It smells like
Pixy Stix and hope in here.

977
00:58:29,048 --> 00:58:31,551
You've never been in a girl's
room before, have you?

978
00:58:31,676 --> 00:58:33,761
- Yeah, I...
- Mom doesn't count.

979
00:58:33,845 --> 00:58:35,138
- Well...
- Any female relative doesn't count.

980
00:58:35,221 --> 00:58:37,682
Guys! Can we focus? Where's the diary?

981
00:58:38,141 --> 00:58:40,059
She changes the hiding place,
like, every week,

982
00:58:40,185 --> 00:58:41,728
so just spread out and start looking.

983
00:58:59,329 --> 00:59:00,830
- CARTER: Did you find it?
- Nope.

984
00:59:01,372 --> 00:59:03,082
Nothing over here.

985
00:59:13,635 --> 00:59:15,678
(SCUFFLING IN DISTANCE)

986
00:59:16,846 --> 00:59:17,847
Hey.

987
00:59:18,264 --> 00:59:19,349
Did you guys hear that?

988
00:59:19,432 --> 00:59:20,433
Hear what?

989
00:59:21,893 --> 00:59:23,895
BEN: I think I heard
something downstairs.

990
00:59:24,938 --> 00:59:26,272
Augie, go check it out.

991
00:59:26,356 --> 00:59:27,857
I'm not going down there by myself.

992
00:59:27,941 --> 00:59:29,400
- Go with him.
- Why me?

993
00:59:29,484 --> 00:59:31,402
Call me when your balls drop, dude.

994
00:59:35,907 --> 00:59:36,908
(STAIRS CREAKING)

995
00:59:37,408 --> 00:59:39,202
CARTER: (WHISPERING)
Shh! Don't walk so hard.

996
00:59:39,285 --> 00:59:41,454
AUGIE: You have squeaky floors.

997
00:59:43,539 --> 00:59:45,291
This is Carter's sister?

998
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,294
Yeah. That's Kendall.

999
00:59:49,295 --> 00:59:51,297
Well, she clearly won the genetic lottery.

1000
00:59:51,631 --> 00:59:54,342
Yeah. She's okay. I guess.

1001
00:59:54,425 --> 00:59:55,718
Dude, she's more than okay.

1002
00:59:55,802 --> 00:59:57,470
You don't have to be all cool about it.

1003
00:59:59,097 --> 01:00:00,431
Shit.

1004
01:00:02,475 --> 01:00:04,143
Fuck. Come on.

1005
01:00:05,895 --> 01:00:07,897
So, how come
you haven't told her you like her?

1006
01:00:07,981 --> 01:00:09,315
What's the point?

1007
01:00:09,399 --> 01:00:11,401
She's never gonna go for a guy like me.

1008
01:00:11,484 --> 01:00:13,069
And she's got a boyfriend.

1009
01:00:13,152 --> 01:00:15,905
And Carter would kill me
if I touched his sister.

1010
01:00:15,989 --> 01:00:18,199
Okay, look. Here's the deal.

1011
01:00:18,283 --> 01:00:21,077
And don't take this the wrong way,

1012
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,371
but you have to man up.

1013
01:00:23,454 --> 01:00:25,331
Yeah, but I suck at being that guy.

1014
01:00:25,415 --> 01:00:27,041
I'm not assertive like that.

1015
01:00:27,125 --> 01:00:28,126
Kiss me.

1016
01:00:28,584 --> 01:00:29,585
What?

1017
01:00:29,669 --> 01:00:31,149
Don't "what" me, just do it. Kiss me.

1018
01:00:32,088 --> 01:00:33,172
Are you serious?

1019
01:00:33,256 --> 01:00:34,841
Yeah, I'm serious.
I saw you checking out my ass earlier.

1020
01:00:34,966 --> 01:00:36,175
I know you want to do it. Just kiss me.

1021
01:00:36,301 --> 01:00:37,343
- No, I wasn't.
- Ben!

1022
01:00:37,468 --> 01:00:39,262
- Okay, for a second I did.
- Kiss me.

1023
01:00:40,346 --> 01:00:41,431
Denise, I...

1024
01:00:41,514 --> 01:00:43,016
You can do it. Just go for it.

1025
01:00:45,852 --> 01:00:47,103
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- Oh, fuck! Fuck.

1026
01:00:47,186 --> 01:00:48,786
- I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

1027
01:00:48,855 --> 01:00:49,856
See? I told you
we shouldn't have done that.

1028
01:00:49,939 --> 01:00:50,940
It was a bad idea.

1029
01:00:51,024 --> 01:00:52,358
No, no, no. Let's just try it again.

1030
01:00:52,442 --> 01:00:54,610
No, I feel stupid.
We should look for the diary.

1031
01:00:54,694 --> 01:00:55,862
Come here.

1032
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,001
Not bad.

1033
01:01:10,793 --> 01:01:11,794
Really?

1034
01:01:11,878 --> 01:01:14,297
It wasn't, like, top five or anything.
Don't get excited.

1035
01:01:14,380 --> 01:01:16,257
- But, yeah, it was okay.
- Oh.

1036
01:01:16,341 --> 01:01:19,052
When you see Kendall,
just walk straight up to her,

1037
01:01:19,135 --> 01:01:20,303
lay some of that shit on her,

1038
01:01:20,386 --> 01:01:21,888
and you're golden.

1039
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:24,515
Okay. Thanks.

1040
01:01:29,896 --> 01:01:31,481
Guess we left it open.

1041
01:01:32,482 --> 01:01:33,483
Hey, Augie.

1042
01:01:37,236 --> 01:01:39,072
Ben didn't want to leave you tonight.

1043
01:01:41,282 --> 01:01:43,076
It was my idea.

1044
01:01:44,077 --> 01:01:45,661
What difference does it make?

1045
01:01:45,745 --> 01:01:47,080
It's done.

1046
01:01:51,667 --> 01:01:52,835
Yeah.

1047
01:01:57,590 --> 01:01:58,758
(GRUNTING)

1048
01:01:59,801 --> 01:02:00,802
(SCREAMING)

1049
01:02:01,010 --> 01:02:02,011
Oh, fuck!

1050
01:02:03,471 --> 01:02:04,931
(CARTER SCREAMING)

1051
01:02:13,523 --> 01:02:14,607
Come on.

1052
01:02:14,690 --> 01:02:16,450
DENISE: What the hell
is going on down there?

1053
01:02:16,526 --> 01:02:18,778
We're fine! Everything's under control!

1054
01:02:18,945 --> 01:02:19,946
(ROARING)

1055
01:02:41,884 --> 01:02:45,388
No! No, no, no, no. Fucking, no!
Not my ass!

1056
01:02:47,181 --> 01:02:48,558
Oh, no, no, no, no!

1057
01:02:51,644 --> 01:02:53,980
My ass! My ass!

1058
01:02:54,063 --> 01:02:56,315
She's gumming my ass!

1059
01:02:56,399 --> 01:02:57,817
Oh, my God!

1060
01:02:57,900 --> 01:02:58,901
AUGIE: Carter!

1061
01:02:59,235 --> 01:03:01,904
CARTER: Oh, God! Oh, it's disgusting!

1062
01:03:08,077 --> 01:03:09,662
Carter!

1063
01:03:11,789 --> 01:03:13,166
Peace out, bitch!

1064
01:03:17,086 --> 01:03:18,671
What the hell happened?

1065
01:03:19,255 --> 01:03:20,256
(SNARLING)

1066
01:03:20,339 --> 01:03:22,758
Shit. Back upstairs! Back upstairs!

1067
01:03:30,308 --> 01:03:31,601
Come on, come on!

1068
01:03:31,684 --> 01:03:33,269
DENISE: Move it!

1069
01:03:34,353 --> 01:03:35,730
That's not gonna hold them!

1070
01:03:35,813 --> 01:03:37,565
- Did you find the journal?
- No! We looked everywhere!

1071
01:03:37,648 --> 01:03:39,025
Guys, we got to go! Come on!

1072
01:03:41,694 --> 01:03:42,695
(SCREAMING)

1073
01:03:54,207 --> 01:03:55,958
Oh, my God! They're coming!

1074
01:03:57,710 --> 01:03:59,754
Guys, if we jump,
we might be able to clear the fence!

1075
01:03:59,837 --> 01:04:01,547
- What?
- Fuck it, let's just jump!

1076
01:04:01,631 --> 01:04:03,174
The fence is like 10 feet away!

1077
01:04:03,674 --> 01:04:05,801
- I'll go first!
- Go, go!

1078
01:04:11,724 --> 01:04:12,850
Okay. Go, go, go!

1079
01:04:19,815 --> 01:04:21,567
Augie, you got to go now!

1080
01:04:22,860 --> 01:04:23,861
Hurry!

1081
01:04:23,945 --> 01:04:24,987
I can't, I'm afraid of heights!

1082
01:04:25,071 --> 01:04:26,656
Be more afraid of zombies! Go!

1083
01:04:47,301 --> 01:04:48,302
(GASPS)

1084
01:05:04,902 --> 01:05:05,903
(SCREECHING)

1085
01:05:07,697 --> 01:05:09,448
Is that his wiener?

1086
01:05:11,033 --> 01:05:12,076
We got to do something.

1087
01:05:12,535 --> 01:05:14,370
Guys, help me! I'm falling!

1088
01:05:14,453 --> 01:05:16,372
Hang on to that cock, Ben!

1089
01:05:16,789 --> 01:05:18,708
Guys, hurry! Help me!

1090
01:05:20,376 --> 01:05:22,211
What are you doing?

1091
01:05:23,212 --> 01:05:25,548
Hey! Assholes! Come and get me.

1092
01:05:30,052 --> 01:05:31,387
BEN: Hurry!

1093
01:05:32,722 --> 01:05:33,723
It's ripping!

1094
01:05:37,226 --> 01:05:39,395
His dick's ripping!

1095
01:05:41,314 --> 01:05:42,481
(SCREAMING)

1096
01:05:58,039 --> 01:05:59,248
- I got it!
- Dude!

1097
01:05:59,332 --> 01:06:00,666
(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)

1098
01:06:02,293 --> 01:06:03,544
- I got it.
- AUGIE: Where was it?

1099
01:06:03,628 --> 01:06:05,004
- Underwear drawer.
- Classic.

1100
01:06:06,047 --> 01:06:07,214
Run!

1101
01:06:11,761 --> 01:06:13,095
(WHISPERING) Lock it.

1102
01:06:13,429 --> 01:06:15,014
BEN: Augie, get the lights.

1103
01:06:16,098 --> 01:06:17,600
AUGIE: The power's out.

1104
01:06:18,184 --> 01:06:19,852
Where the hell are we?

1105
01:06:21,270 --> 01:06:22,605
BEN: Mrs. Fielder's house.

1106
01:06:22,855 --> 01:06:24,565
AUGIE: I can't believe we
just chopped her head off.

1107
01:06:24,649 --> 01:06:27,109
CARTER: She tried to eat my ass, Augie.
She deserved it.

1108
01:06:27,193 --> 01:06:29,362
Guys, we got to keep moving. Come on.

1109
01:06:43,959 --> 01:06:45,336
Carter, check the window.

1110
01:06:49,382 --> 01:06:51,175
Shit, they're everywhere.

1111
01:06:51,258 --> 01:06:52,760
Miss Fielder's car is in the garage.

1112
01:06:52,843 --> 01:06:54,887
Maybe we can get out that way.
This way.

1113
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:08,401
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

1114
01:07:10,486 --> 01:07:11,612
What was that?

1115
01:07:11,696 --> 01:07:13,239
I think something's in here.

1116
01:07:13,322 --> 01:07:14,323
(CAT MEOWING)

1117
01:07:15,074 --> 01:07:16,075
Fuck, cat.

1118
01:07:23,249 --> 01:07:24,250
Augie?

1119
01:07:24,333 --> 01:07:25,626
Dude, dude.

1120
01:07:25,710 --> 01:07:27,461
- BEN: Augie.
- What?

1121
01:07:27,545 --> 01:07:29,463
(WHISPERING) Don't move.

1122
01:07:33,634 --> 01:07:35,010
(SNARLING)

1123
01:07:35,094 --> 01:07:36,929
(ALL SCREAMING)

1124
01:07:40,766 --> 01:07:43,185
- Did you get it?
- I got it! I got it!

1125
01:07:44,645 --> 01:07:47,064
(CATS SNARLING)

1126
01:07:48,524 --> 01:07:49,900
Run!

1127
01:07:55,948 --> 01:07:58,284
Come on, come on, come on!

1128
01:07:59,034 --> 01:08:00,369
Open the garage door!

1129
01:08:00,453 --> 01:08:01,704
It won't open!

1130
01:08:02,037 --> 01:08:03,205
Go! Ben, go!

1131
01:08:03,372 --> 01:08:04,498
Fuck it!

1132
01:08:15,551 --> 01:08:17,391
(PANTING) Oh, my God.
It's Scout Leader Rogers!

1133
01:08:17,636 --> 01:08:18,637
(GROANING)

1134
01:08:18,721 --> 01:08:19,930
He looks like shit!

1135
01:08:20,014 --> 01:08:21,223
I set him on fire.

1136
01:08:21,599 --> 01:08:23,309
- What?
- He tried to eat me!

1137
01:08:28,063 --> 01:08:29,982
- Wait, what are you doing?
- No, don't...

1138
01:08:38,407 --> 01:08:39,825
Sorry, bro!

1139
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:42,161
(MOANING)

1140
01:08:47,333 --> 01:08:48,959
(BELL CHIMING)

1141
01:08:57,301 --> 01:08:59,720
All right, the diary said they're at
the old rec center on Dewer Street.

1142
01:08:59,804 --> 01:09:01,347
Hopefully, we're not too late.

1143
01:09:01,430 --> 01:09:03,350
All right,
I'll try to get help as soon as I can.

1144
01:09:03,432 --> 01:09:05,017
Just be careful.

1145
01:09:12,942 --> 01:09:14,819
- Denise.
- Yeah?

1146
01:09:15,694 --> 01:09:17,947
Look, I don't know what's gonna happen,

1147
01:09:18,948 --> 01:09:20,324
but I just wanted to let you know that

1148
01:09:20,407 --> 01:09:22,207
you're one of
the coolest girls I've ever met.

1149
01:09:26,121 --> 01:09:28,374
And, uh, I hope
you meet someone that deserves you.

1150
01:09:29,959 --> 01:09:30,960
Thanks.

1151
01:10:00,489 --> 01:10:02,408
Guys, let's go.
We got to get to the party.

1152
01:10:02,491 --> 01:10:04,869
Ben, this is a suicide mission.

1153
01:10:04,952 --> 01:10:06,662
Guys, they're gonna
bomb this whole town

1154
01:10:06,745 --> 01:10:07,830
in less than two hours.

1155
01:10:07,913 --> 01:10:09,832
What if Denise reaches
the military in time?

1156
01:10:09,915 --> 01:10:11,709
And what if she doesn't, Carter?
Then what?

1157
01:10:11,792 --> 01:10:14,253
Who's gonna save them?
The police? They're gone.

1158
01:10:14,336 --> 01:10:17,339
The military? They're not coming, either.

1159
01:10:18,007 --> 01:10:20,342
Guys, we're the last line of defense.

1160
01:10:21,886 --> 01:10:24,346
And so what? Maybe we look
like dorks in these uniforms.

1161
01:10:24,430 --> 01:10:27,391
And maybe we're a big joke
to everyone at school.

1162
01:10:29,184 --> 01:10:31,186
But tonight,

1163
01:10:31,270 --> 01:10:33,551
we're gonna show them
what being a real Scout's all about.

1164
01:10:34,440 --> 01:10:38,569
So, are we just gonna stand here
with our thumbs up our asses?

1165
01:10:39,194 --> 01:10:41,780
Or are we gonna go out there
and save the world?

1166
01:10:43,115 --> 01:10:44,366
Fuck, yeah, dude.

1167
01:10:45,701 --> 01:10:47,202
That was a really good speech, Ben.

1168
01:10:47,953 --> 01:10:49,038
Thanks, Augie.

1169
01:10:49,121 --> 01:10:50,456
Let's do it.

1170
01:10:53,459 --> 01:10:55,210
The rec center's that way.

1171
01:10:56,879 --> 01:10:58,881
We're making a pit stop first.

1172
01:10:59,673 --> 01:11:01,383
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

1173
01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:12,871
(LAUGHING) Are you serious?

1174
01:12:13,914 --> 01:12:17,209
None of my text messages
are going through, Travis.

1175
01:12:17,292 --> 01:12:18,794
Don't worry about that, baby.

1176
01:12:18,877 --> 01:12:20,629
Where are you taking me?

1177
01:12:21,505 --> 01:12:23,382
- Um, it's a surprise.
- (CHLOE SQUEALS)

1178
01:12:23,465 --> 01:12:25,785
- You need a little spanking, don't you?
- (CHLOE CHUCKLES)

1179
01:12:27,219 --> 01:12:28,220
Ew.

1180
01:12:28,637 --> 01:12:30,305
Travis, what the fuck?

1181
01:12:30,639 --> 01:12:31,640
Come on.

1182
01:12:32,057 --> 01:12:34,143
Okay, this place is disgusting.

1183
01:12:35,394 --> 01:12:36,979
I need to examine you.

1184
01:12:37,062 --> 01:12:38,564
- Get over here.
- Oh, okay.

1185
01:12:41,483 --> 01:12:43,485
God, you're so sexy.

1186
01:12:43,819 --> 01:12:44,987
Thank you.

1187
01:12:46,822 --> 01:12:48,991
Okay, we're not about to fuck right now.

1188
01:12:49,074 --> 01:12:50,325
Why not?

1189
01:12:50,909 --> 01:12:53,412
Because we've only
been dating for, like, two minutes.

1190
01:12:53,495 --> 01:12:54,496
What about a blow job?

1191
01:12:54,580 --> 01:12:57,166
Travis, I spent an hour
trying to find this piece of gum.

1192
01:12:58,167 --> 01:12:59,501
Sucks.

1193
01:13:01,670 --> 01:13:04,089
Okay, fine. You can eat me out.

1194
01:13:04,173 --> 01:13:06,091
- Really?
- Yes. You're welcome.

1195
01:13:14,767 --> 01:13:16,018
WOMAN: (ON PHONE)
<i>When I'm in jail</i>

1196
01:13:16,101 --> 01:13:18,103
<i>the first thing you do
is talk to another chick.</i>

1197
01:13:18,187 --> 01:13:19,521
- (GROWLING)
- What the fuck?

1198
01:13:23,358 --> 01:13:25,861
Hey, pervert, fuck off!

1199
01:13:29,698 --> 01:13:31,200
You serious, bro?

1200
01:13:34,286 --> 01:13:35,287
(GASPS)

1201
01:13:37,664 --> 01:13:39,875
<i>I was in jail!</i>

1202
01:13:39,958 --> 01:13:40,959
(TRAVIS SCREAMING)

1203
01:13:42,377 --> 01:13:44,630
Hello? Are you going to do it or what?

1204
01:13:58,268 --> 01:14:02,189
Ooh! Your mouth's kind of cold.

1205
01:14:06,485 --> 01:14:07,486
(SCREAMS)

1206
01:14:12,574 --> 01:14:13,575
Stop.

1207
01:14:14,576 --> 01:14:16,745
- Stop!
- Come on, babe.

1208
01:14:16,829 --> 01:14:18,747
- Stop it!
- What the fuck's your problem?

1209
01:14:18,831 --> 01:14:19,998
I'm worried about my brother.

1210
01:14:20,082 --> 01:14:21,667
He should've been here hours ago.

1211
01:14:21,750 --> 01:14:22,876
He's not coming, babe.

1212
01:14:22,960 --> 01:14:24,253
How do you know?

1213
01:14:24,336 --> 01:14:26,672
Because I gave him the wrong address.

1214
01:14:26,755 --> 01:14:28,841
- What?
- They're Scouts, Kendall!

1215
01:14:28,924 --> 01:14:31,426
Look, what'd you think,
I was gonna invite them for real?

1216
01:14:31,510 --> 01:14:34,012
- Come here.
- You are such a dick!

1217
01:14:34,096 --> 01:14:35,973
- What? You're not leaving.
- Watch me!

1218
01:14:36,056 --> 01:14:37,391
You're not going!

1219
01:14:39,226 --> 01:14:40,853
- Fine, go, bitch!
- (KENDALL SCREAMS)

1220
01:14:43,689 --> 01:14:46,358
Oh, Jesus, girl.
Get a fucking tampon, would you?

1221
01:14:46,900 --> 01:14:49,236
(SCREAMING)

1222
01:14:57,119 --> 01:14:58,453
Someone help!

1223
01:15:00,164 --> 01:15:02,708
Help! Please, someone help!

1224
01:15:12,009 --> 01:15:14,428
(ALL SCREAMING)

1225
01:15:36,158 --> 01:15:37,159
(SCREAMING)

1226
01:15:47,252 --> 01:15:48,754
- (SNARLING)
- (SCREAMING)

1227
01:15:55,761 --> 01:15:57,137
(WHISTLING)

1228
01:16:02,017 --> 01:16:04,061
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

1229
01:16:11,568 --> 01:16:14,279
All right, Scouts,
let's kick some zombie ass.

1230
01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:16,573
(WHIRRING)

1231
01:16:49,773 --> 01:16:50,941
(MOUTHING) Boom.

1232
01:17:07,499 --> 01:17:08,500
Chloe?

1233
01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:09,668
Oh, man.

1234
01:17:09,835 --> 01:17:10,836
(GROWLS)

1235
01:17:12,462 --> 01:17:13,463
Nailed it.

1236
01:17:36,486 --> 01:17:38,030
What a dick.

1237
01:17:42,159 --> 01:17:43,535
Ben, they're everywhere!

1238
01:17:43,827 --> 01:17:45,203
Circle up!

1239
01:17:50,792 --> 01:17:51,793
You want some of this?

1240
01:17:51,877 --> 01:17:54,504
You assholes! Die!

1241
01:17:54,838 --> 01:17:57,674
Come on! You want a piece of me?

1242
01:18:00,177 --> 01:18:02,137
Ben! Ben!

1243
01:18:02,220 --> 01:18:04,014
Help!

1244
01:18:09,102 --> 01:18:10,228
Ben!

1245
01:18:10,354 --> 01:18:11,730
Hang on, Kendall! I'm coming!

1246
01:18:14,024 --> 01:18:15,192
Oh, shit.

1247
01:18:15,525 --> 01:18:17,194
Oh, shit. Shit, start! Come on!

1248
01:18:17,527 --> 01:18:18,862
Ben, look out!

1249
01:18:19,029 --> 01:18:20,030
Shit.

1250
01:18:31,375 --> 01:18:33,043
AUGIE: Ben, duck!

1251
01:18:39,257 --> 01:18:40,258
Ben!

1252
01:18:41,218 --> 01:18:43,720
Kendall, come down! Climb down, hurry!

1253
01:18:46,598 --> 01:18:48,100
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I think so.

1254
01:18:48,225 --> 01:18:49,559
CARTER: Guys, come on!

1255
01:18:49,643 --> 01:18:50,936
- Come on.
- Come on!

1256
01:18:51,228 --> 01:18:53,939
We got to get everyone out of here!
Let's go!

1257
01:18:54,398 --> 01:18:57,234
Everybody! Get to the stairs! Come on!

1258
01:19:04,074 --> 01:19:05,117
Let's go!

1259
01:19:05,242 --> 01:19:06,743
Come on, everybody, move!

1260
01:19:07,077 --> 01:19:10,747
Hurry up! Come on, come on! Let's go!

1261
01:19:10,956 --> 01:19:12,082
Let's go!

1262
01:19:12,416 --> 01:19:13,917
Let's go! Come on!

1263
01:19:14,084 --> 01:19:15,127
Oh, shit!

1264
01:19:20,090 --> 01:19:21,174
What are you doing?

1265
01:19:21,258 --> 01:19:23,009
They'll follow you if we don't
lock the doors! You gotta go!

1266
01:19:23,093 --> 01:19:24,813
- What about you?
- You got to go! Trust me!

1267
01:19:24,970 --> 01:19:26,304
I'm not leaving you! No!

1268
01:19:26,471 --> 01:19:28,265
Go! Go! Trust me!

1269
01:19:36,314 --> 01:19:37,649
- I'm out!
- Oh, shit!

1270
01:19:37,816 --> 01:19:40,318
There's too many of them!
Come on, let's go! Hurry!

1271
01:19:40,777 --> 01:19:41,820
Let's go!

1272
01:19:42,487 --> 01:19:43,488
Oh, fuck!

1273
01:19:44,489 --> 01:19:45,699
Let's go!

1274
01:19:45,782 --> 01:19:46,950
Come on!

1275
01:19:52,164 --> 01:19:53,957
BEN: Hurry, come on!

1276
01:19:54,458 --> 01:19:55,792
CARTER: Go, Augie, go!

1277
01:19:56,793 --> 01:19:58,628
Run! Run!

1278
01:20:10,098 --> 01:20:11,850
Where's the door?

1279
01:20:11,933 --> 01:20:14,019
There's got to be another exit.

1280
01:20:14,102 --> 01:20:15,520
I don't see one!

1281
01:20:15,604 --> 01:20:17,272
- We're trapped.
- BEN: Shit.

1282
01:20:17,606 --> 01:20:19,046
- There's no way out of here.
- Fuck.

1283
01:20:21,276 --> 01:20:22,694
- What do we do?
- Give me your backpack.

1284
01:20:22,861 --> 01:20:24,863
What? What are you doing?

1285
01:20:30,202 --> 01:20:31,870
- What is that?
- It's a bomb.

1286
01:20:32,204 --> 01:20:33,246
You made a bomb?

1287
01:20:33,330 --> 01:20:34,539
What are you, the Taliban?

1288
01:20:34,664 --> 01:20:37,584
Either we die fast or we're eaten alive
and turn into one of those things!

1289
01:20:38,710 --> 01:20:40,170
Your choice.

1290
01:20:40,253 --> 01:20:41,254
(BANGING ON DOOR)

1291
01:20:42,797 --> 01:20:44,549
- Shit.
- Carter, give me your lighter.

1292
01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:46,801
CARTER: Here.

1293
01:20:51,223 --> 01:20:52,557
Are you guys ready?

1294
01:20:56,853 --> 01:20:58,522
- Wait!
- What?

1295
01:20:59,064 --> 01:21:00,106
I need to say something.

1296
01:21:00,190 --> 01:21:01,483
Ben, it's fine.

1297
01:21:01,566 --> 01:21:03,326
- You don't have to do this.
- BEN: No, I do.

1298
01:21:03,985 --> 01:21:05,865
We should have never
ditched you tonight, Augie.

1299
01:21:06,321 --> 01:21:08,406
What we did was really messed up.

1300
01:21:08,490 --> 01:21:10,825
He's right.
We've been complete D-bags.

1301
01:21:11,326 --> 01:21:13,119
It's my fault.
I never should have made you guys think

1302
01:21:13,203 --> 01:21:14,746
you had to be in Scouts for just me.

1303
01:21:14,829 --> 01:21:16,414
No, that's just it!

1304
01:21:16,498 --> 01:21:18,792
I thought I wanted out,
but I was just worried

1305
01:21:18,875 --> 01:21:21,753
what other people were gonna think.
The truth is,

1306
01:21:23,171 --> 01:21:25,006
I love being a Scout.

1307
01:21:26,007 --> 01:21:29,010
And I love it because
it's the reason I met you guys.

1308
01:21:32,097 --> 01:21:35,267
And I know tonight's been
really crazy and fucked up,

1309
01:21:35,350 --> 01:21:36,768
but one good thing has happened.

1310
01:21:37,185 --> 01:21:38,895
And it's this, right now.

1311
01:21:40,146 --> 01:21:41,231
Us.

1312
01:21:41,398 --> 01:21:43,024
Being back together.

1313
01:21:45,694 --> 01:21:47,028
Scouts forever.

1314
01:21:49,948 --> 01:21:51,533
Scouts forever.

1315
01:21:53,702 --> 01:21:54,703
AUGIE: Scouts forever.

1316
01:21:55,954 --> 01:21:57,414
(BANGING)

1317
01:22:01,293 --> 01:22:03,712
Ben? Is it really lame
if I hold your hand right now?

1318
01:22:04,045 --> 01:22:05,046
No.

1319
01:22:08,300 --> 01:22:10,135
Oh, God damn it. This stupid thing!

1320
01:22:11,219 --> 01:22:12,887
- What are you doing?
- It's out of fluid!

1321
01:22:12,971 --> 01:22:14,222
Here. Give me that.

1322
01:22:15,140 --> 01:22:16,600
Wait, do you have another lighter?

1323
01:22:20,395 --> 01:22:22,564
God damn it, Augie,
we were supposed to die fast!

1324
01:22:25,066 --> 01:22:26,568
This is gonna hurt so bad.

1325
01:22:26,651 --> 01:22:28,153
Come on, Augie, you can do it!

1326
01:22:28,236 --> 01:22:30,488
Don't pressure me! I hate that!

1327
01:22:32,198 --> 01:22:34,618
Yo, dipshits!
You just gonna sit there or what?

1328
01:22:35,994 --> 01:22:37,579
Where'd she come from?

1329
01:22:39,956 --> 01:22:41,416
BEN: Augie, leave it!

1330
01:22:42,208 --> 01:22:43,918
(SCREAMING)

1331
01:22:48,882 --> 01:22:49,883
BEN: Augie, let's go!

1332
01:22:56,348 --> 01:22:57,349
(SHOUTING)

1333
01:23:10,945 --> 01:23:12,364
(SCREAMING)

1334
01:23:28,296 --> 01:23:29,714
Are you guys okay?

1335
01:23:29,798 --> 01:23:31,883
I'm alive. I'm alive!

1336
01:23:31,966 --> 01:23:33,718
Oh, my God! Augie!

1337
01:23:33,802 --> 01:23:35,804
- Dude! You're a genius!
- It worked!

1338
01:23:35,887 --> 01:23:37,305
That was fucking awesome!

1339
01:23:37,389 --> 01:23:38,723
- Fuck, yeah, man!
- It worked!

1340
01:23:38,890 --> 01:23:39,891
(SNARLING)

1341
01:23:40,809 --> 01:23:42,102
What the fuck?

1342
01:23:42,560 --> 01:23:44,312
Is that Scout Leader Rogers?

1343
01:23:46,815 --> 01:23:48,942
You got to hand it to him.
The man is a fighter.

1344
01:23:50,235 --> 01:23:52,821
Oh, shit. Does anybody have a weapon?

1345
01:23:52,904 --> 01:23:55,407
There's got to be
something around here.

1346
01:24:02,038 --> 01:24:04,040
(AIR WHISTLING)

1347
01:24:07,085 --> 01:24:08,086
(MOANING)

1348
01:24:10,255 --> 01:24:11,256
Ah!

1349
01:24:13,174 --> 01:24:15,802
Every goddamn time! Ugh!

1350
01:24:27,188 --> 01:24:28,606
Now you decide to show up.

1351
01:24:31,901 --> 01:24:33,153
(GUNS COCKING)

1352
01:24:49,961 --> 01:24:52,130
MAN: (OVER RADIO) <i>Evacuation fleet</i>
<i>moving to secondary location.</i>

1353
01:24:52,213 --> 01:24:53,631
DENISE: Dude, you look like shit.

1354
01:24:53,715 --> 01:24:54,955
Yeah, well, what do you expect?

1355
01:24:55,008 --> 01:24:56,134
I've been killing zombies all night.

1356
01:24:56,217 --> 01:24:57,857
Yeah, you were kind of badass last night.

1357
01:24:59,387 --> 01:25:00,889
Well, thanks for coming back.

1358
01:25:00,972 --> 01:25:02,307
Somebody's got to keep saving your ass.

1359
01:25:02,390 --> 01:25:03,725
Yeah, I guess so.

1360
01:25:04,392 --> 01:25:07,729
So, um, are we gonna
hang out after this, or...

1361
01:25:08,146 --> 01:25:10,231
Come on, I feel like
the four of us are a team now.

1362
01:25:10,315 --> 01:25:11,357
Relax, dude.

1363
01:25:11,483 --> 01:25:13,985
You've got some business
to take care of right now.

1364
01:25:18,281 --> 01:25:20,116
Go for it. You got this.

1365
01:25:20,950 --> 01:25:23,036
- All right.
- Go.

1366
01:25:28,291 --> 01:25:30,627
I am so happy that you're okay.

1367
01:25:33,755 --> 01:25:37,550
Oh, that's so sweet. Up top!

1368
01:25:37,801 --> 01:25:39,385
Dude, I'm not high-fiving that.

1369
01:25:39,469 --> 01:25:40,553
Come on.

1370
01:25:40,637 --> 01:25:42,555
You think I'm high-fiving that?

1371
01:25:42,639 --> 01:25:44,224
- Come on!
- (CHANTING GIBBERISH)

1372
01:25:44,641 --> 01:25:45,975
Aww, look at them!

1373
01:25:50,188 --> 01:25:51,523
Who are you?

1374
01:25:52,023 --> 01:25:53,358
I'm a Scout.

1375
01:25:57,987 --> 01:25:59,030
All right, well, this just means

1376
01:25:59,155 --> 01:26:00,395
- I'm gonna fuck his mom.
- Hey!

1377
01:26:00,448 --> 01:26:01,616
What?

1378
01:26:01,699 --> 01:26:04,369
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

1379
01:28:19,379 --> 01:28:21,631
(MOANING)

1380
01:28:25,677 --> 01:28:26,678
(SPLATTERS)

1381
01:28:26,844 --> 01:28:28,513
Come on.

1382
01:28:30,723 --> 01:28:32,016
The end.