Bugs Bunny.
I have an appointment with Dr. Weisberg.
Go ahead and take a seat.
Daffy?
Oh, hey, Bugs.
- What are you doing here? - Reading.
My subscription ran out.
So you come to a doctor's office?
No, I come to a doctor's office waiting room.
It's very pleasant.
Fish tank, classical music. Very nice.
Someone order Chinese food?
Right here.
[theme music]
[heart thumping]
- You got any sodas in here? - Shh.
Wow. This thing's like a runaway freight train.
What are you so hopped up for?
I'm always telling him he's too stressed.
I'm not stressed.
Here's what we're gonna do.
I want you to spend the weekend relaxing.
Lots of deep breathing. No excitement.
No stress.
We'll check your heart again on Monday.
It's weird. I feel fine.
Oh, hey, doc, I have a quick question for you.
Is there anything you can do to stretch
my stomach ten times its size?
- What are you crazy? - Just temporarily.
I'm gonna be in a hot dog eating contest
at the fair this weekend.
Oh, I forgot the fair was this weekend.
Bup-bup-bup. No fair for you.
That's too much excitement.
But for me, I can't wait.
I go every year.
I like to win all that stuff nobody needs.
A kazoo, novelty glasses.
Silly straw.
Snap pops.
- Aah! - Oh, sorry.
[heart thumping]
So, what about my stomach?
You shouldn't enter that contest.
Binge eating is extremely unhealthy.
ding
Well, if I can't stretch my stomach with surgery
I'm gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way.
By gorging myself.
You're not gonna listen to your doctor?
He's not my doctor, he's yours.
Sure, I've gone to him for the occasional
cosmetic procedure but even then
I had him send you the bill.
Why do you wanna win a hot dog eating contest?
That is the dumbest question I have ever heard in my life.
How about a lifetime supply of hot dogs?
A custom-made satin jacket
and for one year, the great honor
of being called Mr. Wiener.
Does that answer your question?
No.
[elevator dings]
Here, let me drive you home. That way you can relax.
- What about your car? - Oh, it got towed.
I parked in Dr. Weisberg's spot.
[instrumental music]
The funny thing is, I really don't feel stressed at all.
[tires screeching]
What is the matter with you?
That light was yellow!
- You go on yellow! - Daffy.
My friend could have a heart attack at any second!
I'm trying to keep things calm for him!
- Back off! - Oh, boy.
You wanna fight?
Oh, he wants to fight.
[tires screeching]
[car horn honking]
Stay calm, Bugs, I got this.
Just do some of that deep breathing.
(Porky) 'Where's B-Bugs?'
He said he needed to lie down.
He's such a frail reed, that guy.
Hello, what can I get you?
- I'll have 62 hot dogs. - Say what?
That's one more than last year's winner ate.
Well, not this year.
Soon you'll be calling me Mr. Wiener.
I already call you that. And a lot worse.
- How about you, Porky? - Oh-oh, I'm not eating.
Wow! That's one thing I thought I'd never hear you say.
I-I'm too nervous. M-my girlfriend's coming to town.
Okay, now that's two things
I thought I'd never hear you say.
W-well, she's sort of my girlfriend.
W-we've only met once.
Ey, b-but we talk on the phone every day.
And t-tomorrow she's coming into town
to g-go to the fair with me.
[sighs] S-she's wonderful.
I-I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about her.
Uh, I know what I would like in my stomach.
Sixty two hot dogs. So arriba, arriba.
That's too much food, man.
I gotta stretch my stomach.
Do you know how bad that is for you?
Sixty two hot dogs.
Eating that much in one sitting could kill you.
Coming right up.
Oh, P-Petunia will be here
in 22 hours 38 minutes and 14 seconds.
- You're gonna blow it. - Wh-what do you mean?
You're too eager. You're gonna scare her off.
You gotta relax, chill.
Otherwise she's gonna think you're desperate.
Girls like a guy who plays it cool.
[cell phone rings]
Watch this.
Hey, Tina, you're gonna have to call me back.
I'm in the middle of something, okay?
So maybe I'll see you later, maybe I won't.
So whatevs. Doesn't matter either way.
You better see me later.
We have a date tonight and you're picking me up
at 8:30, got it?
Well, whatever you say, my angel.
I'll be counting the seconds.
I'm telling you, Porky, play it cool.
Whoa! That's a lot of hot dogs.
How can someone eat that many?
Ey, what's the most you've ever eaten?
I don't know. Four, four and a half.
Any more than that, they start coming back up.
If you know what I mean.
Unfortunately, we always know what you mean.
Well, here goes nothing.
chomp chomp chomp
gulping
[grunting]
How many was that?
Four.
Oh, well.
Maybe I could do another half.
chomp chomp chomp
'It's comin' back up!'
[instrumental music]
[heart thumping]
It's still beating like crazy.
What is the matter with me?
Aah!
[machine whirring]
What on Earth are you doing?
- I'm building a ramp. - For what?
I'm performing a death-defying stunt
at this weekend's fair.
Are you, uh, qualified for that sort of thing?
Nope. But it don't matter.
It's my legacy.
It all started with my great-granddaddy.
Rocky Mountain Sam.
He once jumped a horse-drawed carriage
over 15 cows.
Then there was old grand-dad
Death Valley Sam.
He jumped a model T over 15 model Ls.
Okay!
Then there was my daddy, Grand Canyon Sam.
Some say he was the greatest daredevil of 'em all.
He jumped a motorcycle over 15 school buses.
So now it's my turn.
You gonna jump a motorcycle over a bunch of school buses?
No, I'm g-gonna jump a school bus
over a bunch of motorcycles.
Eh, good luck with that.
Will you help me? Please?
I don't know how to build a ramp.
I ain't never done a stunt. I'm not a daredevil.
- Then don't do it. - I gots' to.
Because I can't go down in history
as the only Sam who never jumped one thing
over a bunch of other things.
I'd love to help you
but I'm under doctor's orders to take it easy this weekend.
I'm not asking you to do the stunt
I'm just asking you to figure out how to do the stunt.
[sighs] So you wanna jump a school bus
over how many motorcycles?
- Fifteen. - Right.
I think we're gonna need a calculator.
A calculator? I said a school bus!
Whoa! Oof!
creak creak creak
Oh!
[instrumental music]
chomp chomp chomp
Yes! Five hot dogs.
- And they're staying down. - They'd better.
Well, all I have to do now is figure out
how I'm gonna cram 57 more down my gullet.
I gotta stretch this dude out.
I can't believe you're doing all this for a stupid satin jacket
and so people can call you Mr. Wiener.
Well, truth be told, there's another reason.
It's my legacy.
It all started with my great-grandfather Dipsy Duck.
He ate 54 huckleberry pies
in a pie-eating contest
and won a horse-drawn carriage.
Then there was my grandfather Doofus Duck.
He ate 112 corncobs
in a corncob-eating contest
and won a model T.
And then there was my father, Dummy Duck.
He ate 14 buckets of fried chicken
in a fried chicken-eating contest
and won a school bus.
He still drives it to this day.
Now do you understand why I have to win?
Do any of the guys in your family have normal names?
Like David or Doug?
I have a cousin named Dimwit Duck.
Look, Tina, the point is, I have to win
so I don't go down in history
as the only duck who didn't win a contest
by gorging himself on carnival food.
And also I really want that satin jacket.
[sighs]
chomp chomp
Urgh!
'It's coming back up.'
[drum roll]
What are we doin' playing with models?
We ought to be building the real thing.
I told you I don't want anything to do with the real thing.
My heart is racing just thinking about it.
[heart thumping]
I need to relax.
Why do you need to relax, you're life ain't stressful.
'Near's I can tell you, sit around the big house'
'all day doing nothing.'
[piano music]
Okay, you're school bus weighs approximately, 14,000 pounds.
'And this ramp is at an angle of 22 degrees.'
'So you need to be going no less than 89 miles per hour'
'but no more than 91 miles per hour, when you hit the ramp'
'so that you can travel the 72 feet over the 15 motorcycles.'
'Now, you have to land exactly on the front edge'
'of the landing ramp. Otherwise, you lose control and crash.'
So, 89 miles per hour, 22 degree take off, 72 feet
land on the front edge of the ramp. Got it?
[snoring]
- Yosemite! - Huh, what!
Oh, sorry that classical music's just so dang relaxing.
swoosh
[phone ringing]
[Daffy mumbling]
Wh-w-what?
Sorry, I was eating, I'm up to seven hotdogs.
I just wanna remind you to play it cool with Petunia.
Oh-ho, r-right.
Porky, I'm serious. Serious like a heart attack.
Sorry, Bugs!
You can not blow this!
Remember, you come from a long line of pigs, who've blown it.
Need, I remind you of your great grandfather, Pudgy Pig.
Your grandfather, Plumpy Pig. And your father, Plus-size Pig.
M-m-my dad's name is Alan.
The point is, they all blew it. You gotta break the chain Porky.
Play it cool, unless you want to lose Petunia forever.
Uh, s-she's here.
Good, I gotta go anyway, that's Tina on the other line.
Oh, darling, I hope I didn't keep you waiting.
[dramatic music]
(Daffy) You're gonna blow it.
Play it cool.
Porky, it's so good to see you.
I'm so excited for our weekend.
Okay, cool.
[instrumental music]
[funfair music]
[chuckling] Oh, this is so much fun.
I haven't been to the fair since I was a little girl.
Oh, look cotton candy.
- Do you like cotton candy? - Are you kidding?
I can eat cotton candy all..
I-I-I mean..
Uh, I can t-t-take it or leave it.
Hey, the ever roller coster.
[crowd screaming]
- Should we go on it? - Are-are you crazy?
I mean, I don't know. Whatever.
Is everything alright?
You seem strange.
Uh, I'm cool.
[whimpering]
Hey, uh, Speedy give me all your churros.
- Are you crazy? - I gotta stretch my stomach.
But the idea of eating another hot dog makes me sick.
And in two hours, I gotta eat 62 of them.
There's no way you gonna win man.
Have you seen last years winner?
[dramatic music]
Uff, he looks like he could eat 62 of you.
- Mother. - Hey, look!
There's a fortune teller.
(woman in TV) Continue to breath deep
relaxing breathes.
[phone ringing]
(Yosemite) What angle's the ramp supposed to be at?
What?
What angle should the ramp be at?
And-and how fast am I supposed to go?
And what part of the ramp am I supposed to land on?
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Sam, slow down. What-what's wrong?
I'm panicking, I'm spiraling.
I got so used to that teeny model.
Now, it all looks so big and scary.
You gotta come help me.
I need you here. My heart's racing.
That's exactly why I can't come. You shouldn't be there either.
Bugs, please. I'm begging ya.
I need the emotional support. You're my best friend.
- What? - Nothing.
I, I didn't say nothing.
- Uh, just come down here. - Fine.
Dr. Weisberg is gonna kill me
if my heart doesn't first.
[phone ringing]
[automated message] 'Hi, please leave a message.'
(Weisberg on phone) 'Bugs, it's Dr. Weisberg.'
Look, look, look, I'm on the internet
and I think I might have misdiagnosed your condition.
Turns out your heart beating fast because... you're a rabbit.
That's where they get the expression
"My heart's beating like a rabbit's." Huh?
Anyway, there's nothing wrong with your heart.
You're fine. You're in perfect health.
So go have some fun, enjoy your life. Live a little.
Okay, enough work for a Saturday. I'm going to the fair.
[mystical music]
In my crystal ball I can see the past
the present and the future.
Lola you're not a fortune teller.
Uh, my name is Madam Zoldor, so..
What do you see Madam Zoldor?
Will I win the hotdog eating contest?
Let me see. It's, it's murky.
[crackling]
Ah-ha! I see a hotdogs, so many hotdogs.
Really? At a hotdog eating contest?
[gasps] I see you.
[gasps]
You're eating hotdogs so many hotdogs.
More than five? Do I win?
Yes, you win. You're the winner.
I knew it. Thank you, Madam Zoldor.
Does the lady want her palm read? Or maybe a manicure.
I'm actually a little better at those.
Uh, I think Ferris wheels are kind of romantic.
Don't you?
[sighs]
T-t-there alright.
Porky, you just seem so different from when we met.
Well, I don't know what to tell you Petunia.
This is me. This is who I'm.
I'm relaxed, I'm cool, I'm chill.
[instrumental music]
Ah-ha! Wh-what's happening?
- We must be stuck. - Wh-wh-what?
We're hundreds of feet off the ground.
Help, somebody, help us.
[crying] I always knew, I'd d-d-die this way.
[shivering]
[dramatic music]
I think Madam Zoldor might be crazy.
There's no way my stomachs big enough to eat all these.
Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the 35th annual
'Mr. Weiner, hot dog eating contest.'
[people cheering]
Uh, that satin jacket is mine.
On your mark..
Get set..
Go!
[instrumental music]
Eh, w-why isn't it fixed? W-w-what's taking so long?
W-w-what if they never fix it?
Porky, calm down.
It's gonna be okay.
Eh, Petunia? Um, there's something I've to tell you.
Ever since I picked you up at the airport.
I-I've been trying to play it cool.
Why?
Because I was afraid if you saw how excited I was to see you
you'd think I was, eh, d-d-desperate.
But, but the truth is, I-I'm excited to see you.
Also you should know that I l-l-love cotton candy
I don't like roller coasters and, and I think
you're the-the greatest girl I've ever met.
I guess I blew it, huh?
[instrumental music]
Good luck, if you need me, I'll be over there. Not watching.
(male announcer) 'Ladies and gentleman, direct your attention to the infield'
'where local daredevil Yosemite Sam'
'will attempt to jump a school bus over 15 motorcycles.'
[engine revving]
[grunting]
I can't reach the paddles.
You gotta do the stunt with me. You gotta be my feet.
[sighs]
Are you crazy?
No, I'm a Sam and if I don't do this, I'll be the first Sam
who ain't never accomplished nothing.
[sobbing]
[door bangs]
- Move over. - Oh, thank you.
I knew you was my best friend. I mean neighbor.
[upbeat music]
We have a winner. Daffy duck.
[people cheering]
Yay. Haha. Wooh!
[instrumental music]
I told them not to enter that hotdog eating contest.
I told him.
Well, this is it.
[classical music]
It'll help me relax. Don't fall asleep at the wheel.
(man on radio) 'You're listening to Classical 103.1.'
[tires screeching]
[music continues]
[tires screeching]
crash
boom
[crowd cheering]
[grunting]
I'm alive, I can't believe it.
Uh, I can't believe they don't have seat belts
on school buses.
Ow!
[Porky sighs] It's so romantic up here.
I hope they d-d-don't ever fix this Ferris wheel.
Eh, D-D-Daffy?
It's Mr. Weiner.
[instrumental music]
burp
(Weisberg on phone) 'So, go have some fun, enjoy your life. Live a little.'
I think a death defying stunt qualifies.
Unbelievable, they're stripping me of my title
because they said I cheated.
I'm not allowed to call myself Mr. Weiner.
- I'll call you Mr. Weiner. - Thanks.
That's why you're my best friend.
Don't tell Yosemite that.
[theme music]
Look what I won at the fair!
Now I can drink out of my hat.