1 00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:03,100 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:03,167 --> 00:00:04,767 How about Chinese for lunch? 3 00:00:04,833 --> 00:00:07,233 I had Chinese for breakfast. Sunset Room? 4 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:09,133 Well, how about the Pizzarriba? 5 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:10,600 We always go to Pizzarriba. 6 00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:11,967 I-I like Pizzarriba. 7 00:00:12,033 --> 00:00:13,900 Just tell me where I'm goin'. 8 00:00:13,967 --> 00:00:15,467 Rock, paper, scissors. 9 00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:19,733 - I win. - What are you talking about? 10 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:20,800 You have a rock. 11 00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:23,467 I have scissors. Scissors cut rock. 12 00:00:23,533 --> 00:00:25,400 Scissors don't cut rock. 13 00:00:25,467 --> 00:00:27,633 Where do you think Pebbles come from, hmm? 14 00:00:28,667 --> 00:00:30,733 Fine. Let's do it again. 15 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,633 - I win. - What? 16 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,167 Scissors cut paper. 17 00:00:36,233 --> 00:00:39,133 - This isn't paper. - What is it? 18 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,867 It's a karate chop to your face. 19 00:00:40,933 --> 00:00:42,167 Ha! 20 00:00:42,233 --> 00:00:43,700 Ow! Ha! 21 00:00:44,767 --> 00:00:47,433 [grunts] 22 00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:54,767 Oh, I love Chinese. 23 00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:56,667 I haven't had it since breakfast. 24 00:00:56,733 --> 00:00:59,833 [theme music] 25 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:19,200 [instrumental music] 26 00:01:20,633 --> 00:01:24,233 Oh! Too much orange chicken. 27 00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:26,700 Have you ever met an orange chicken? 28 00:01:28,033 --> 00:01:29,033 - Ooh! - What? 29 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,500 It's the Year of the Pig. 30 00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:34,033 Wow. This is my year. 31 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:36,000 What are you talking about? 32 00:01:36,067 --> 00:01:37,700 The Chinese astrological calendar. 33 00:01:37,767 --> 00:01:40,367 Every year is represented by a different animal. 34 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,233 And this year, it's me. 35 00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:44,267 It's the Year of the Pig. 36 00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:46,767 Oh, Porky. A year of good fortune. 37 00:01:46,833 --> 00:01:48,433 When's the Year of the Duck? 38 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,733 Uh, I don't see a Year of the Duck. 39 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,867 Give me that. 40 00:01:53,933 --> 00:01:55,500 There's a Year of the Pig. 41 00:01:55,567 --> 00:01:57,200 There's a Year of the Rabbit. 42 00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:58,700 And no Year of the Duck? 43 00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:00,400 How is this possible? 44 00:02:00,467 --> 00:02:01,933 They've got a Year of the Monkey. 45 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,500 A Year of the Rooster. 46 00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:06,033 A rat? There's a Year of the Rat? 47 00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:10,067 Why not ducks? Does everybody hate ducks? 48 00:02:10,133 --> 00:02:11,400 Nobody hates ducks. 49 00:02:11,467 --> 00:02:14,200 That's easy for you to say. You're beloved. 50 00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:16,733 Oh, I w-wouldn't say beloved. 51 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:20,900 Oh, really? Ever hear of the expression, "Pigs in a blanket?" 52 00:02:20,967 --> 00:02:23,700 It's not an expression. It's a food. 53 00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:27,433 Yeah, a delicious food that you would pig out on. 54 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,767 Another popular expression, by the way. 55 00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:31,767 Daffy, you're overreacting. 56 00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:34,433 Oh, really, "Mr. Lucky Rabbit's Foot?" 57 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:38,300 Star of the popular fable, "The Tortoise and the Hare" 58 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:40,467 Ducks have nothing. 59 00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:42,300 Uh, what about, "Duck, Duck, Goose?" 60 00:02:42,367 --> 00:02:44,567 That's a popular kids' game. 61 00:02:44,633 --> 00:02:46,467 Oh, you mean the one that's super boring 62 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,467 until you say the word "goose?" 63 00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:50,633 Isn't there a children's book about a duck? 64 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:53,300 Oh, you mean "The Ugly Duckling?" 65 00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:54,500 Thanks a lot, Bugs. 66 00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:56,233 Well, there's gotta be somethin'. 67 00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:57,967 Yeah, "sitting duck" 68 00:02:58,033 --> 00:02:59,600 waiting around to get killed 69 00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:01,633 so that you can become a "dead duck" 70 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:04,633 which is probably an improvement considering up till now 71 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:08,333 you've spent your entire life as a "lame duck." 72 00:03:12,167 --> 00:03:14,000 Ooh, fortune cookies. 73 00:03:14,067 --> 00:03:18,167 "Happiness and p-p-prosperity are just around the corner." 74 00:03:18,233 --> 00:03:20,667 That sounds good. 75 00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:23,867 "You are charming and well liked." 76 00:03:23,933 --> 00:03:27,900 Well, not really a fortune, more like an observation. 77 00:03:27,967 --> 00:03:30,000 Ugh! Ugh! Agh! 78 00:03:30,067 --> 00:03:32,933 Did your guys' cookies taste like paper? 79 00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,867 This is the reason I've never succeeded at anything 80 00:03:38,933 --> 00:03:40,867 because people don't like ducks. 81 00:03:40,933 --> 00:03:43,467 I think it's because people don't like you. 82 00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:44,633 No way. 83 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,433 If it's between me and the other guy 84 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,200 to become partner at the law firm 85 00:03:48,267 --> 00:03:49,667 they're gonna pick the other guy. 86 00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:51,333 Solely because I'm a duck. 87 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,000 And also, you're not a lawyer. 88 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,200 And why do you think that is? 89 00:03:55,267 --> 00:03:58,300 - Because you're lazy? - Because I am a duck. 90 00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:00,133 And people don't like ducks. 91 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,800 Hey, guys, I brought in your mail. 92 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,700 It looks like you opened it, too. 93 00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:06,033 Well, I got bored between the mailbox and the front door. 94 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:09,133 It's mostly bills but I think you're gonna like this one. 95 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,200 They want you to host this year's 96 00:04:11,267 --> 00:04:14,567 Royal Oaks Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks beauty pageant. 97 00:04:14,633 --> 00:04:16,000 Why me? 98 00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:18,300 Well, it says here, "Because you are charming 99 00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:19,667 and well licked." 100 00:04:19,733 --> 00:04:21,233 That's liked. 101 00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:22,567 Okay, well, you don't have to brag. 102 00:04:22,633 --> 00:04:24,700 I don't wanna host a beauty pageant. 103 00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:26,800 Bugs, it's a lot more than just a beauty pageant. 104 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,667 It's a competition that awards scholarships to young women. 105 00:04:29,733 --> 00:04:31,200 Come on, all you have to do is show up 106 00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:32,700 and say "And the winner is.." 107 00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:34,733 It's the easiest job in the world. 108 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,833 Ehh! Okay. 109 00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,600 How do you know about all this anyway? 110 00:04:38,667 --> 00:04:40,200 I was a contestant two years ago. 111 00:04:40,267 --> 00:04:43,500 But then I was disqualified because of my talent. 112 00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:44,900 What was your talent? 113 00:04:44,967 --> 00:04:47,900 - Lion taming. - You know how to tame lions? 114 00:04:47,967 --> 00:04:49,433 Not very well. 115 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:52,067 I'd say I'm probably just below average. 116 00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:53,400 (Daffy) 'Unbelievable.' 117 00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:55,100 I've read the entire internet 118 00:04:55,167 --> 00:04:58,267 and there's not one positive thing about ducks anywhere. 119 00:04:58,333 --> 00:05:00,733 Lola, what do you think about ducks? 120 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,933 I don't know. Why? 121 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,033 - Because I'm a duck. - What? 122 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,733 I always thought you were a crow. Are you sure? 123 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,967 Aren't ducks the ones with those big beaver teeth 124 00:05:09,033 --> 00:05:11,100 and that big beaver tail? 125 00:05:11,167 --> 00:05:13,900 - Those are beavers. - So, you're a beaver? 126 00:05:13,967 --> 00:05:15,600 Oh-h! forget it. 127 00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:20,033 [door opens and closes] 128 00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,033 Phew. 129 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,600 Yo, that is one touchy beaver. 130 00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,467 Why, I remember, I say, I remember 131 00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:29,233 when it was the Year of the Rooster. 132 00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:32,433 Why, that was the year that everything changed for me. 133 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,967 Before that I was just a cock-a-doodle-do-nothin' 134 00:05:35,033 --> 00:05:37,467 on a farm and look at me now. 135 00:05:37,533 --> 00:05:38,633 [laughs] 136 00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,333 What does that have to do with ducks? 137 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,300 Oh, right. Ducks. 138 00:05:42,367 --> 00:05:45,767 Carol, bring me the latest animal popularity index. 139 00:05:45,833 --> 00:05:47,967 What's the animal popularity index? 140 00:05:48,033 --> 00:05:50,900 It's a list, I say, a list of every animal 141 00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:53,633 ranked in order of popularity. 142 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:54,967 Hmm. 143 00:05:55,033 --> 00:05:57,067 I say, hmm. 144 00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:05,733 Ducks are ranked 64th? 145 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,033 I'm afraid, I say, I'm afraid 146 00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:10,367 ducks have an image problem, son. 147 00:06:10,433 --> 00:06:14,167 - What you need is some good PR. - Ooh, that sounds good. 148 00:06:14,233 --> 00:06:16,967 I haven't had a peanut butter and ranch sandwich in forever. 149 00:06:17,033 --> 00:06:19,033 Would you mind, hon? 150 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:20,600 I don't need a beverage. 151 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:25,967 No, PR. Public Relations. 152 00:06:26,033 --> 00:06:27,833 Influence public opinion. 153 00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:32,000 And based on that, we're gonna have to do a lot of influencin'. 154 00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:36,467 What to do? I say, what to do? 155 00:06:36,533 --> 00:06:37,967 [gasps] That's it. 156 00:06:38,033 --> 00:06:40,833 We're gonna get you on "Tit For Tat." 157 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,167 Carol, get in here. 158 00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:43,667 What's "Tit For Tat?" 159 00:06:43,733 --> 00:06:46,367 It's the most watched news program in the country. 160 00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:49,700 You'll make the case for ducks to all of America. 161 00:06:49,767 --> 00:06:50,733 Hmm. 162 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:54,133 Daffy Duck, as the lead spokesperson 163 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,300 for an entire species. 164 00:06:57,367 --> 00:06:58,367 I like it. 165 00:06:58,433 --> 00:06:59,667 Carol, get the producers 166 00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:01,733 of "Tit For Tat" on the line. 167 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,100 Yes, sir. 168 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:06,733 Ooh! Too much R. 169 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:13,200 Hey, Bun-Bun. How's it coming? 170 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,667 How's what coming? 171 00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:16,700 Your opening monologue for the pageant? 172 00:07:16,767 --> 00:07:17,900 Monologue? 173 00:07:17,967 --> 00:07:19,067 I thought all I had to do was show up 174 00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:20,400 and say, "And the winner is.." 175 00:07:20,467 --> 00:07:22,400 Right. After the monologue. 176 00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:23,933 And the big musical number 177 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,400 with all that complicated choreography. 178 00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:27,600 Oh, and then there's the duet with last year's winner 179 00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:29,633 which also has a lot of complicated choreography. 180 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,067 Oh, you gotta be ready to vamp 181 00:07:31,133 --> 00:07:32,500 in case the wardrobe changes go long. 182 00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:34,033 And they always go long. 183 00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:35,533 'Oh! Then, of course, there's the big finale' 184 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,900 'which has the most complicated choreography of all.' 185 00:07:37,967 --> 00:07:39,233 And sometimes a stunt. 186 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,367 Last year's host got shot out of a cannon. 187 00:07:41,433 --> 00:07:44,500 - He got shot out of a cannon? - Well, not successfully. 188 00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:46,033 That's why they needed a new host. 189 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,267 It's a thankless job, Bugs. 190 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,500 I don't know why you agreed to do it. 191 00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:55,600 Pinky, congratulations. 192 00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:57,467 You are my one millionth customer. 193 00:07:57,533 --> 00:07:59,967 You win a year's supply of free pizza 194 00:08:00,033 --> 00:08:01,533 and half of the dessert. 195 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:05,433 Wow! I guess it really is the Year of the Pig. 196 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,567 Porky's a pig? 197 00:08:07,633 --> 00:08:09,733 I always thought he was a seal. 198 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,467 Are you sure, I say, are you sure you're ready? 199 00:08:17,533 --> 00:08:21,300 Well, this old boy ain't afraid to ask the tough questions. 200 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:24,633 I have all the answers I need right here. 201 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:28,800 Ask me anything. 202 00:08:28,867 --> 00:08:31,633 Okay, uh, exactly, I say 203 00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:35,933 exactly what contribution have ducks made to society? 204 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,967 That's a good question, Elmo. 205 00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:40,100 I believe his name is Elmer. 206 00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:41,733 Elmer? Hmm. 207 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,800 I'd better write that down. 208 00:08:43,867 --> 00:08:46,967 Uh, Carol, do you have my pre-show PR sandwich? 209 00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:50,600 Don't ever let her go. 210 00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:54,300 Hmm. Now she put too much P. You gotta get rid of her. 211 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,800 We're on in five, four.. 212 00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:58,167 Good luck. 213 00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:01,033 I don't need luck. I've got these. 214 00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:03,100 [gasps] 215 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,633 (male #1) 'And action.' 216 00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:08,767 [instrumental music] 217 00:09:33,733 --> 00:09:36,100 Good evening. I'm Elmer Fudd. 218 00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:39,267 Welcome to another edition of "Tit For Tat." 219 00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:41,300 Tonight's topic. Ducks. 220 00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:45,167 Here to tell us why we should care, Daffy Duck. 221 00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:47,533 Daffy, welcome to the program. 222 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:52,133 - Thanks for having me, Elvis. - Let's get started. 223 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,500 Exactly what contribution have ducks made to society? 224 00:09:56,567 --> 00:10:00,867 Uh, um, uh.. 225 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,633 - Pass. - What? 226 00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:05,033 Give me another question. 227 00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:06,867 Okay, uh. 228 00:10:06,933 --> 00:10:09,433 Bring the car around front, Carol. 229 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:12,567 You believe that ducks are viewed unfavorably. 230 00:10:12,633 --> 00:10:14,767 Do you have any proof of this? 231 00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:16,067 I'd like to phone a friend. 232 00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:18,600 - What? - I'd like to buy a vowel. 233 00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,067 What are you talking about? 234 00:10:20,133 --> 00:10:22,100 I'm gonna go ahead and spin again, Pat. 235 00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:24,933 Desperate times call for desperate measures. 236 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,067 [growls] 237 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:36,267 Why didn't you open the sunroof, Carol? 238 00:10:36,333 --> 00:10:37,633 You really gotta get rid of her. 239 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:38,967 [grunts] 240 00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:42,133 "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 241 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,267 "And welcome to the Royal Oaks Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks 242 00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:46,667 "beauty pageant. 243 00:10:47,867 --> 00:10:49,533 "I don't know about our contestants 244 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,733 but I slept like a log last night." 245 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,100 Literally. 246 00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:55,300 I woke up in the fireplace. 247 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,433 "Uh, good-looking audience we got here tonight. 248 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,033 "I look forward to seeing you all 249 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:09,333 during the swimsuit portion of the competition." 250 00:11:12,967 --> 00:11:14,633 Because there's a swimsuit portion. 251 00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:17,233 The audience doesn't actually put on swimsuits. 252 00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:18,367 Yeah. No, we get it. 253 00:11:18,433 --> 00:11:20,167 Ohh! What about the joke where... 254 00:11:20,233 --> 00:11:21,633 Porky, please. 255 00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:24,733 I know you think this is your "year," but let me... 256 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,300 No! I wanna hear it. 257 00:11:27,367 --> 00:11:28,733 [clears throat] 258 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,133 I flew all the way in from N-N-New York to be here. 259 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:36,167 And boy, are my arms t-t-tired. 260 00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:39,233 [laughs] 261 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,267 Oh, my gosh! Oh, my goodness! 262 00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:45,967 I can't breathe. Oh! His arms are tired. 263 00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:50,300 Like he didn't fly on a plane. He flew himself with his arms. 264 00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:51,933 Like they're wings. 265 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,167 He doesn't even have wings. He's not a bird. 266 00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:56,700 He's a seal. Seals can't fly. 267 00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:58,000 [laughs] 268 00:11:58,067 --> 00:12:00,533 Oh, it's so funny for so many reasons. 269 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:04,500 Oh! Porky. Oh, Porky. Ohh. Ohh. 270 00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:09,533 Yours is funny, too. Just not as funny as Porky's! 271 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,933 [laughs] 272 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,867 Oh, Porky! 273 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:16,033 [growls] 274 00:12:17,433 --> 00:12:20,067 This is a PR nightmare. 275 00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:21,700 Tell me about it. 276 00:12:21,767 --> 00:12:24,200 I mean, we're talking about two ingredients here. 277 00:12:24,267 --> 00:12:25,633 Peanut butter and ranch. 278 00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,133 How does she keep messing this up? 279 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,867 Enough with the sandwich, boy. Look at this. 280 00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:31,633 Now ducks are even less popular. 281 00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:34,233 'I say, less popular than they were before.' 282 00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,133 We're below great white sharks? 283 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,533 They eat people. 284 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,833 - Oh, it's time. - What? 285 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,500 (man on TV) 'The 63rd annual' 286 00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:45,900 'Royal Oaks Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks Beauty Pageant.' 287 00:12:45,967 --> 00:12:48,467 'There are many beautiful women in the world' 288 00:12:48,533 --> 00:12:53,367 'but only one can be Miss R-O-G-O-O-O.' 289 00:12:53,433 --> 00:12:57,200 That's it. We need a duck to win that beauty pageant. 290 00:12:57,267 --> 00:13:01,200 I've always dreamed of being Miss R-O-G-O-O-O. 291 00:13:01,267 --> 00:13:04,733 Not you. We need a female duck. 292 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,000 Ohh. Right. 293 00:13:06,967 --> 00:13:08,867 - 'No way.' - Please? 294 00:13:08,933 --> 00:13:11,167 I-I'm not the beauty pageant type. 295 00:13:11,233 --> 00:13:12,433 Oh, of course you are. 296 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,400 You're constantly at the salon. 297 00:13:14,467 --> 00:13:16,300 You spend hours in front of the mirror. 298 00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:19,367 And you're always prancing around the house in a tiara. 299 00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:20,867 That's you. 300 00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:22,400 Well, I'd enter it if I could. 301 00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:24,567 But that big, fat rooster says I can't. 302 00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:27,567 So, you gotta do it. We're in 73rd place. 303 00:13:27,633 --> 00:13:29,733 Daffy, I don't care what some poll says. 304 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,100 And you shouldn't either. 305 00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:33,567 That's easy for you to say. People like you. 306 00:13:33,633 --> 00:13:38,100 - Then be more likeable. - No. That's crazy. 307 00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:41,100 The only thing that makes sense is you winning a beauty pageant 308 00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:44,533 which will skyrocket ducks up the animal popularity index. 309 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,967 Thus allowing me to enjoy respect and admiration 310 00:13:47,033 --> 00:13:49,600 without having to earn it myself. 311 00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:52,600 - It's a slam duck. - You mean a slam dunk. 312 00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:55,767 What? My whole life, I always thought it was "slam duck." 313 00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:57,433 Ugh. Forget it. 314 00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:00,133 I guess I'll just have to get used to the idea 315 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,400 that every time I walk into a room 316 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:06,233 everyone will wish a great white shark had walked in instead. 317 00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:10,133 Well, guess what, people, great white sharks can't walk! 318 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,767 So I guess you're stuck with me! 319 00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:15,300 [sobbing] 320 00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:18,833 - Fine, I'll do it. - Thank you. 321 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,133 I can't tell you how much this means to me. 322 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,633 I just know you're gonna win. 323 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,133 And then, we'll both have a tiara. 324 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,300 Just remember, when you're inside 325 00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:33,100 you gotta stay curled-up tight. 326 00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:35,967 The tighter you are, the further you'll fly. 327 00:14:36,033 --> 00:14:37,667 You wanna take a practice flight? 328 00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:39,667 No, I think I'm good. 329 00:14:39,733 --> 00:14:41,633 Porky, what are you doin' here? 330 00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:44,500 I have a big favor to ask you. 331 00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:46,667 What do you think of letting me host the pageant? 332 00:14:46,733 --> 00:14:48,000 What? 333 00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:50,767 Ever since I found out it was the Year of the Pig 334 00:14:50,833 --> 00:14:52,833 I've just been feeling so good. 335 00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:54,867 Everything seems to be going my way. 336 00:14:54,933 --> 00:14:58,167 I-I mean, you get opportunities like this all the time. 337 00:14:58,233 --> 00:15:01,133 But this, this is my year. 338 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,267 T-this is my one shot. What do you say? 339 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,033 Thanks for doin' my makeup, Lola. 340 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,867 I'm not very good at this stuff. 341 00:15:10,933 --> 00:15:13,200 Are you kidding? You're gonna look beautiful. 342 00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:14,500 I'm keeping it real fresh and light 343 00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:16,067 and natural just like you wanted. 344 00:15:16,133 --> 00:15:18,867 You'll barely be able to tell you're wearing anything at all. 345 00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:20,067 There. 346 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,867 Wow! 347 00:15:23,933 --> 00:15:25,700 Yeah, that's.. 348 00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:30,300 Uh, is there any way you could remove a few layers? 349 00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:32,867 Oh. Yeah. I can do that. 350 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,733 Guess someone doesn't wanna win. 351 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,067 When is the show gonna start? 352 00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:38,067 What is that? 353 00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:39,433 It's a constantly updating 354 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,400 animal popularity index. 355 00:15:41,467 --> 00:15:45,367 This way, we can see those duck rankings rise in real time. 356 00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:47,400 Wow. Impressive. 357 00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:49,233 Oh, this is taking forever. 358 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:50,833 I mean, if you say you're gonna start at 7:00 359 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,200 you start at 7:00. 360 00:15:52,267 --> 00:15:56,667 Come on! Start the show! 361 00:15:56,733 --> 00:15:59,133 I don't think that's helpin' the cause, boy. 362 00:16:03,467 --> 00:16:06,267 Uh, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. 363 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,367 Porky, they're gonna love you. 364 00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:10,300 (male announcer) 'Ladies and gentlemen.' 365 00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:12,633 'Welcome to the 64th annual' 366 00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:17,267 'Royal Oaks Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks beauty pageant.' 367 00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:21,100 'And now, your host Porky Pig.' 368 00:16:21,167 --> 00:16:22,733 You're gonna be great. 369 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,533 It's the Year of the Pig. 370 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,433 Oh, it's not the Year of the Pig. 371 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:27,700 What? 372 00:16:27,767 --> 00:16:30,067 The Year of the Pig was four years ago. 373 00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:31,600 It's the Year of the Rabbit. 374 00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:33,567 (Porky) 'Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.' 375 00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:35,867 And welcome to the Royal Oaks 376 00:16:35,933 --> 00:16:39,267 Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks beauty pageant. 377 00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:41,900 - Are you sure? - I'm positive. 378 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,333 Oh, that nitwit must have read it wrong. 379 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,133 If anyone should be out there hosting, it's you. 380 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,400 He'll be fine. All that astrology stuff is silly. 381 00:16:51,467 --> 00:16:55,500 You know, I flew all the way in from N-N-New York to be here 382 00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:58,133 and boy, are-are my arms tired. 383 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,133 [coughs] 384 00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:07,300 Or maybe not so silly. 385 00:17:07,367 --> 00:17:09,133 Uh.. 386 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,800 A good-looking audience we've got here tonight. 387 00:17:11,867 --> 00:17:13,300 I look forward to seeing you all 388 00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:17,500 during the swimsuit portion of the competition. 389 00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:19,733 Hmm, pigs are fallin' fast. 390 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,200 They're below, I say, they're below ducks. 391 00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:26,500 Boo! Get this guy off the stage! 392 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:28,633 Hmm. Not anymore. 393 00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:31,867 Uh, why don't we meet our contestants? 394 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,567 [audience cheering] 395 00:17:36,633 --> 00:17:38,100 They hate me. 396 00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:39,467 I thought this was the Year of the Pig. 397 00:17:39,533 --> 00:17:40,833 How is this happening? 398 00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:43,567 Porky, there's somethin' I need to tell you. 399 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,333 - You're doin' great. - What? 400 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,700 But no one's laughin'. 401 00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,633 No, no, no, they're laughing. 402 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,833 You just can't hear them from the stage. 403 00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,033 It's, it's the acoustics. 404 00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:02,867 Are you sure? I feel like they're all scowling at me. 405 00:18:02,933 --> 00:18:04,367 No, that's the stage lights. 406 00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:08,033 The shadows make smiles, you know, look like frowns. 407 00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:10,200 They're smiling and they're laughing 408 00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:11,700 because you're doin' great. 409 00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:14,400 It's the Year of the Pig. 410 00:18:15,867 --> 00:18:19,067 - That's your cue. - Thanks, Bugs. 411 00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:29,300 [audience applause] 412 00:18:29,367 --> 00:18:32,467 [instrumental music] 413 00:18:47,133 --> 00:18:50,167 [lion roaring] 414 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,500 Yeah! Whoo! Ow! 415 00:19:06,467 --> 00:19:09,467 [grunts] 416 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,400 And now, the winner of the Miss Royal Oaks 417 00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:25,833 Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks b-b-beauty pageant is.. 418 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,633 ...Michelle Chen. 419 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:32,933 Congratulations, Michelle. 420 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,000 Ah! Oh! 421 00:19:40,033 --> 00:19:42,433 Congratulations. You did it. 422 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,600 What are you talking about? I didn't win. 423 00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:47,167 Yeah, but you were so beautiful and poised 424 00:19:47,233 --> 00:19:48,600 and charming and elegant. 425 00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:50,967 You moved ducks up 33 places. 426 00:19:51,033 --> 00:19:52,333 Well, there you go. 427 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,067 Unfortunately, I brought us down 41 places. 428 00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:56,967 So, overall, ducks are slightly worse off 429 00:19:57,033 --> 00:19:58,400 than they were before we started. 430 00:19:58,467 --> 00:19:59,567 So, I guess, you're not gonna get 431 00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,567 that respect and admiration you wanted. 432 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:02,967 What are you talkin' about? 433 00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:05,700 I'll get it by hanging out with you. 434 00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:07,100 Here. 435 00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,033 You're giving me your tiara? 436 00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:11,567 Loaning you my tiara. 437 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,433 Looks better on me. 438 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,033 Mwah. 439 00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:21,167 [blast] 440 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:26,533 [applause] 441 00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:31,533 Thanks for the Chinese food, guys. 442 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,533 - How you feeling? - Pretty good. 443 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,300 The doctors were amazed at how fast I'm recovering. 444 00:20:37,367 --> 00:20:39,067 He-he. But I'm not surprised. 445 00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:41,833 After all it is the Year of the Pig. 446 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,467 I thought you told me it was the Year of the.. 447 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:46,033 Ow! Why are you kicking me? 448 00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:49,267 Did you, by any chance, get any duck sauce? 449 00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:53,133 There's a sauce named after us? 450 00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:57,333 Ohh, a sweet, delicious sauce. 451 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,300 Why didn't anyone tell me? 452 00:20:59,367 --> 00:21:01,833 I'm sorry but visiting hours are over. 453 00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:05,200 How about a little respect and admiration? 454 00:21:05,267 --> 00:21:06,967 Ever heard of duck sauce? 455 00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:11,667 [theme music] 456 00:21:38,133 --> 00:21:39,867 Hey, fellas. 457 00:21:39,933 --> 00:21:41,333 Get a load of this. 458 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,733 We cracked the top ten.