[BEEPS] - HELLO, THIS IS HELMUT JORGENSEN
FROM THE NOBEL PRIZE FOUNDATION.
I'M CALLING TO INFORM MR. BUGS BUNNY
THAT HE HAS BEEN AWARDED THE NOBEL PRI--
[BEEPS] - MESSAGE DELETED.
- DAFFY, TINA. JUST REMINDING YOU, TOMORROW'S DATE NIGHT.
DON'T FORGET TO MAKE RE-- [BEEPS]
- HEY, GUYS. IT'S PORKY. I'M IN KIND OF AN EMERGENCY,
AND I-- [BEEPS]
- MESSAGE DELETED. END OF MESSAGES.
- ANYTHING IMPORTANT? - NOPE.
- [GRUNTING]
I CAN'T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER!
[GRUNTS AND SCREAMS]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION
- WOW. I'M GLAD YOU'RE OK, PORKY,
BUT YOU KNOW, NEXT TIME THAT HAPPENS,
YOU REALLY SHOULD CALL SOMEONE.
[DOORBELL RINGS] OH, GOT TO GO.
[BEEPS]
[VEHICLE DEPARTS]
SWEDEN?
- WHAT'S THAT?
- EH. I GUESS I WON THE NOBEL PRIZE.
- WHAT'S THE NOBEL PRIZE?
- AN AWARD GIVEN TO THOSE WHO HAVE MADE
THE GREATEST CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE BETTERMENT OF HUMANITY.
- OH, THE BETTERMENT OF HUMANITY!
THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T WON ONE.
- I WONDER WHERE I SHOULD PUT IT.
- UGH, YOU'RE GOING TO DISPLAY IT?
THAT'S SO TACKY, SO SHOWY.
HAVE A LITTLE DECORUM.
- WHAT ABOUT THAT THING?
- THIS? THIS IS A MAJOR AWARD.
- "WORLD'S GREATEST DAUGHTER"?
- DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY DAUGHTERS THERE ARE IN THE WORLD?
MILLIONS. AND I,
"SANDRA SANCHEZ,"
AM THE WORLD'S GREATEST.
NOW, GET YOUR OWN SHELF.
[SIGHS]
- HERE'S YOUR SHELF.
YOU KNOW, FOR AN ADDITIONAL $20,
WE'D BE HAPPY TO INSTALL IT FOR YOU.
- $20 TO INSTALL A SHELF?
I WON A NOBEL PRIZE! I THINK I CAN PUT UP MY OWN SHELF.
LOOKS SECURE.
[RATTLES]
HMM. I GUESS I NEED TO FIND A STUD.
[TAPPING]
[CLUNKS] AH, HERE WE GO.
YEP. THAT'S THE STUD RIGHT THERE.
YOU GUYS HAVE ANYTHING TO FILL IN A COUPLE OF TINY, LITTLE HOLES?
BARELY ANYTHING.
- YOU MEAN SPACKLE?
- YEAH, SPACKLE.
SOME PEOPLE CALL IT SPACKLE.
YOU HAVING TROUBLE PUTTING UP THAT SHELF?
- WHAT? NO.
I PUT THAT UP NO PROBLEM.
JUST HAMMERED IT RIGHT IN THERE.
- HAMMERED? YOU USED A DRILL, RIGHT?
- OF COURSE. DRILLED IT RIGHT IN THERE.
ARE THE DRILLS ANYWHERE NEAR THE SPACKLE?
WELL, THE AWARD WILL COVER THAT.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- OH, HI, TINA.
- HEY. PICKING UP DAFFY. DATE NIGHT.
OH, IS THAT A TIMMEL?
- HUH? OH, YEAH. THAT'S MY BRAND, TIMMEL.
IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID, TIMMEL?
- WHAT YOU WORKING ON?
- JUST PUTTING UP A SHELF.
[WHIRRING AND CLANKING]
- OH, THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD.
- IT'S FINE. I'M SURE I JUST HIT A STUD.
- THAT'S NOT A STUD. YOU EITHER HIT YOUR JUNCTION BOX
OR A WATER PIPE.
- THANKS FOR YOUR HELP,
BUT I THINK I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
I MEAN, I WON THE NOBEL PRIZE.
[WHIRS AND CLANKS]
THERE, SEE?
- WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WATER?
- GUESS IT WAS YOUR WATER PIPE.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- DATE NIGHT. REMEMBER?
ISN'T THAT WHY YOU'RE IN THE SHOWER?
- WHAT? NO. I GOT PEANUT BUTTER ALL OVER MY BACK.
WHEN'S THE WATER GOING TO COME BACK ON.
- WELL, FIRST, HE'S GOT TO REMOVE THE DRYWALL,
SAW OFF THE DAMAGED PIPE, AND PUT ON A SLIP COUPLER.
THEN, HE'S GOING TO REPLACE THE DRYWALL,
SPRAY THE TEXTURE ON, AND PAINT IT.
I COULD DO IT FOR YOU, BUT IT WOULD TAKE A COUPLE OF DAYS.,
- A COUPLE OF DAYS?
I CAN'T GO WITHOUT A SHOWER FOR THAT LONG!
- SINCE WHEN DO YOU TAKE SO MANY SHOWERS?
- IT'S THE PRINCIPLE.
IF I'M GOING TO PAY RENT SOMEWHERE,
THEN I WANT EVERYTHING TO WORK.
- YOU DON'T PAY RENT.
- AND I WON'T,
NOT UNTIL THAT'S FIXED.
NOW WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE?
THEY WON'T LET ME BACK AT THE "Y." LONG STORY.
- I GUESS YOU COULD STAY WITH ME.
- I DON'T THINK SO,
NOT UNTIL THERE'S A RING ON THIS FINGER.
[HISSING]
HERE. LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO NEED THIS.
HEY, MY EYES ARE UP HERE.
- THANKS FOR LETTING ME STAY HERE, PORKY.
- [STAMMERING] IT WILL BE FUN.
IT CAN GET KIND OF LONELY
LIVING IN THIS BIG OLD HOUSE BY MYSELF.
WELL, THIS IS THE GUEST BEDROOM.
- GREAT. I'M SURE YOU'LL BE VERY COMFORTABLE HERE.
- YOU GET THAT SHELF UP?
- [DEEP VOICE] SHELF? HA HA HA.
YOU MUST HAVE ME CONFUSED WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
I'M A TOTALLY DIFFERENT CUSTOMER.
NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE.
- JUST THE SAW?
- UH, YEAH. OH, I'M ALSO GOING TO NEED A...
SLIP COUPLER.
- OH. YOU GOT A CRACKED WATER PIPE?
OH, YEAH. HEH. YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOES.
WATER WAS POURING OUT WHEN I LEFT.
- YOU MEAN, YOU DIDN'T SHUT OFF THE WATER MAIN?
- [SCREAMS]
[NORMAL VOICE] KEEP THE CHANGE!
- CONGRATULATIONS!
- LOLA, I GOT TO GET INSIDE
AND SHUT OFF THE WATER MAIN-- WHATEVER THAT IS.
- WINNING THE NOBEL PRIZE? THAT'S AMAZING!
- LOLA, MOVE IT!
- I MEAN, NO BELLS. NONE.
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT BELLS.
[JANGLING]
- I THINK MY HOUSE IS FLOODED!
- WOW! SOMEONE WINS THE NOBEL PRIZE AND THINKS THEY'RE PRETTY HOT.
WELL, GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE NOT, ALL RIGHT?
ALL YOU DID WAS NOT HAVE A BELL, OK?
ANYONE COULD DO THAT. I COULD TOTALLY DO THAT.
WHO AM I KIDDING? NO I CAN'T. BELLS ARE SO FUN!
[JANGLING]
- WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN? I WAS TAKING A NAP.
I ALMOST DROWNED!
- I WAS TRYING TO PUT UP A SHELF,
AND I DRILLED INTO A WATER PIPE.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST PAY SOMEONE ELSE TO PUT IT UP FOR YOU?
I DON'T GET IT.
- I WON THE NOBEL PRIZE.
I THINK I CAN PUT UP A SHELF.
- OH, THE NOBEL PRIZE, HUH? WHAT DID YOU GET IT FOR--
MAKING BAD DECISIONS?
[JANGLING]
- SPEEDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I LIVE HERE. OR AT LEAST I USED TO.
- WAIT A MINUTE. YOU LIVE IN BUGS' HOUSE?
DON'T YOU OWN A RESTAURANT? CAN'T YOU AFFORD YOUR OWN PLACE?
- MMM. PROBABLY.
- SPEEDY, WE'RE ADULTS, M'KAY?
ADULTS LIVE ON THEIR OWN.
- WHERE DO YOU LIVE? - WITH MY PARENTS.
THEY GAVE ME THESE BELLS!
- [STAMMERING] OH, I WAS JUST GOING TO DO SOME LAUNDRY,
SO I NEED TO GET MY LAUNDRY BASKET.
- I'LL GET IT.
HERE YOU GO. - THANKS.
- HOLD IT. THESE ARE MY WHITES.
THESE ARE MY DARKS.
OH! AND... THESE ARE MY DELICATES.
- I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU WEAR CLOTHES.
- I LIKE HAVING THE OPTION.
NOW, PAY ATTENTION.
THE DELICATES DON'T GO IN THE MACHINE.
THESE ARE 100% SILK.
THEY NEED TO BE HAND WASHED. GOT IT?
- I THINK.
- REPEAT IT BACK TO ME.
- UH, DARKS. WHITES. DELICATES.
- WHAT ABOUT THE DELICATES?
- HAND WASH THEM?
- OH, AND I'M HAVING A LADY FRIEND OVER FOR DINNER TONIGHT,
SO HERE'S A LIST FOR THE GROCERY STORE.
- OOH, WHO ARE WE HAVING DINNER WITH?
- I'M HAVING DINNER WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING.
- IT'S FUN HAVING A ROOMMATE.
- ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A BIG HOLE IN THE WALL.
OK. SO I GUESS I JUST NEED TO MAKE A CUT HERE AND HERE,
THEN REMOVE THIS PART, PUT IN A SLIP COUPLER,
THEN SOMEHOW...
FIX THIS WHOLE WALL,
POP IN THE OL' SHELF, AND WE'RE DONE.
EASY. [WHIRRING]
WHOA!
[CREAKS]
I WONDER IF THIS BEAM WAS IMPORTANT.
[CRACKING]
HMM. MIGHT NEED TO GET A LITTLE MORE SPACKLE.
[CREAKS]
MAYBE A LOT MORE SPACKLE.
- [STAMMERING] HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAFFY!
- [GASPS]
- DO YOU LIKE IT?
- HMM.
♪ YOU'VE GIVEN ME A BIRTHDAY GIFT ♪
♪ YOU'VE REALLY GIVEN MY DAY A LIFT ♪
♪ OH, WOW, A CHILDHOOD PHOTO ♪
♪ OF YOU AND ME
♪ BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING NOW ♪
♪ AND I'M TRYING TO FIND THE WORDS HOW ♪
♪ WHILE YOUR GIFT WAS THOUGHTFUL ♪
♪ IT WAS ALSO CHINTZY
♪ I CAN REMEDY THE SITUATION ♪
♪ AND YOU CAN AVOID FUTURE HUMILIATION ♪
- WHOA!
- ♪ IF YOU WOULD JUST FOLLOW
♪ THESE GIFT-GIVING GUIDELINES ♪
♪ BUY ME SOMETHING MADE OF SOLID GOAL ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THIS HOMEMADE SWEATER LEAVES ME COLD ♪
♪ THINK IN TERMS OF THINGS THAT ARE EXPENSIVE ♪
♪ A COFFEE MUG THAT SAYS "MY BEST FRIEND" ♪
♪ WILL FIND A NEW HOME IN MY TRASH BIN ♪
♪ AND IF YOU KNIT ME A SCARF ♪
♪ I'LL BURY IT IN THE BACK YARD ♪
♪ NOW, PAY ATTENTION
♪ CHINTZY, CHINTZY, CHINTZY, CHINTZY ♪
♪ NOT CHINTZY
♪ CHINTZY, CHINTZY, CHINTZY, CHINTZY ♪
♪ VERY CHINTZY
♪ THIS GIFT HAS A HOT DATE ♪
♪ WITH MY SHREDDER
♪ BUY ME A JACUZZI FILLED WITH CAVIAR ♪
♪ OR A DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED ROCKET CAR ♪
♪ AND WHEN IN DOUBT, TRY A BRIEFCASE FULL OF MONEY ♪
♪ TRY TO STAY AWAY FROM ARTS AND CRAFTS ♪
♪ I DON'T WANT YOUR HOMEMADE BUBBLE BATH ♪
♪ AND COOKIES ARE BETTER WHEN THEY'RE MADE ♪
♪ BY PROFESSIONALS
♪ BUY ME A RANCH WITH A THOUSAND LONGHORN STEERS ♪
[MOOING]
♪ OR A MANSION FILLED
♪ WITH CRYSTAL CHANDELIERS
♪ AN M60A3 ARMY TANK
♪ WOULD BE MET WITH HEARTFELT THANKS ♪
♪ BECAUSE THAT'S SOMETHING I COULD DRIVE TO THE SUPERMARKET ♪
- ♪ CHINTZY, CHINTZY, CHINTZY, CHINTZY ♪
- ♪ NOT CHINTZY - GOOD.
- ♪ CHINTZY, CHINTZY, CHINTZY, CHINTZY ♪
- VERY CHINTZY. - YES.
♪ THAT'S WHY I'M SETTING FIRE ♪
♪ TO THE PHOTO YOU GAVE ME ♪
♪ SO I'M GLAD I COULD HELP YOU OUT ♪
♪ THIS IS WHAT FRIENDSHIP'S ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ BUT THE NEXT GIFT THAT YOU BRING ♪
♪ SHOULD REQUIRE A TRAILER
[FOGHORN BLOWS]
♪ SO BEFORE A NEW DAY DAWNS ♪
♪ MAYBE CASH IN YOUR SAVING BONDS ♪
♪ AND BUY ME A PRESENT ♪
♪ THAT IS NOT CHINTZY
- AHEM. YOU STILL OWE ME A BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- HMM. IT'S PRETTY NICE, I GUESS.
MAYBE I COULD PUT MY HOLE OVER HERE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE IN A HOLE. YOU GOT ALL THIS SPACE.
- I DON'T KNOW. IT SEEMS SO BIG.
- I COULD HELP YOU DECORATE. OH, IT WILL BE FUN!
IT'S MY LEFT ONE. MY RIGHT EYE'S JUST A REGULAR EYE.
OH, NO, WAIT. I'M WRONG.
MY RIGHT EYE IS MY GREAT EYE.
MY LEFT EYE HAS X-RAY VISION.
- HEY, MY EYES ARE UP HERE, OK?
- I CAN TOTALLY SEE THROUGH THAT.
- DOLING A LITTLE HOME IMPROVEMENT?
- [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] OH, YOU KNOW.
JUST TINKERING WITH A FEW LITTLE PROJECTS.
NOTHING BIG, JUST REPLACING THE CEILING,
AN ENTIRE WALL,
MOST OF THE FLOOR.
MAYBE PUT IN A NEW SUPPORT BEAM OR TWO.
- THAT'LL BE $2,865.43.
- [NORMAL VOICE] SAY WHAT?
- ♪ WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- I THINK I NEED TO GET BACK TO THE GYM.
- NOT YOU, SILLY. THE MIRROR.
- OHH! IT'S DIVINE! IS IT ROCOCO?
- NO, NO, NO, IT'S BAROQUE.
- BUT A BAROQUAN MIRROR IS 7 YEARS' BAD LUCK!
[BOTH GIGGLE]
[BELL DINGS]
- OOH. NICE BELL.
- MAY WE HELP YOU?
I AM DECORATING AN APARTMENT FOR A DEAR, DEAR FRIEND OF MINE.
- OOH, WHATEVER CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT HIM?
- UM...WELL, HE'S A MOUSE NAMED SPEEDY GONZALEZ.
I THINK HE MIGHT WEAR A HAT.
- WELL, WE JUST RECEIVED SOME LOVELY PIECES FROM SPAIN.
- THIS PARTICULAR CHEST OF DRAWERS IS 18th CENTURY MAHOGANY.
- NOTICE THE BURLED WALNUT INSET PANELS.
- OH, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S NOT REALLY SPEAKING TO ME.
- OH, WELL, PERHAPS SEÑOR GONZALEZ WOULD PREFER
SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE MODERN?
- I AM POSITIVELY OBSESSED WITH THIS MID-CENTURY SOFA.
- NO. THIS ISN'T REALLY SPEAKING TO ME, EITHER.
[GASPS] OOH!
NOW, THIS IS SPEAKING TO ME.
HMM?
OH, THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY FLATTERING,
BUT I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
HE JUST WON THE NOBEL PRIZE.
BESIDES, YOU'RE NOT REALLY MY TYPE.
YOU'RE TOO TALL. AND YOU'RE AN ARMOIRE.
SO...
HUH? OH, AN ARM-WAH.
EXCUSE ME! "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, I'M FROM FRANCE."
- WELL, WHAT ABOUT THIS?
IT ARRIVED THIS MORNING.
- LOOK, I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO,
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW SPEEDY LIKE I KNOW SPEEDY.
I KNOW YOU THINK YOU DO BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL MICE--
- WE'RE GOPHERS.
- OH. IS THAT DIFFERENT?
- JUST TAKE A LOOK.
IT'S ITALIAN BAROQUE.
- ISN'T IT EXQUISITE?
- HMM. IT IS NICE.
AND SPEEDY IS ITALIAN.
MAYBE THIS IS SPEEDY!
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? NO.
THIS--THIS ISN'T SPEEDY. MM-MMM.
YEAH, I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO KEEP LOOKING AROUND,
TRY A FEW MORE STORES AND MAYBE SOME PLACE THAT FEELS MORE LIKE HIM.
[GASPS] [BELL DINGS]
OH, I DO LOVE THAT BELL, THOUGH. IT'S A GREAT BELL.
[BELL DINGS]
- 7 YEARS ISN'T THAT LONG, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
[SLURPING]
- WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE LOBSTER BISQUE?
[SCOFFS] I'LL GET YOU SOMETHING ELSE.
SOMETHING FOR A LESS REFINED PALATE.
[BELL DINGS]
- SO...UH... WHERE'S PORKY?
- [STAMMERING] HOW MAY I BE OF SERVICE?
- PORKY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THAT OUTFIT?
- DON'T ENGAGE THE HELP.
THAT BETTER BE MY BREAD AND BUTTER.
- YES, SIR.
- THE LADY DOESN'T LIKE HER SOUP.
BRING HER SOMETHING ELSE.
- THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE SOUP.
- THE BUTTER IS HARD! - WHAT?
- I SAID, THE BUTTER IS HARD,
BECAUSE SOMEBODY FAILED TO LET IT SOFTEN
BEFORE SERVING DINNER.
- I'M SORRY! I JUST GOT SO BUSY WITH THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE--
BUT YOU'RE NOT TOO BUSY TO MAKE EXCUSES!
- OW! THAT HURT!
- I BET IT HURT, BECAUSE IT'S HARD!
- THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU, TINA.
THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND MY BUTLER.
- HE'S NOT YOUR BUTLER!
PORKY, YOU ARE NOT HIS BUTLER.
- I KNOW. I JUST-- I LIKE HAVING SOMEONE AROUND.
- ARE THESE STORE-BOUGHT ROLLS? [GRUNTS]
- OF COURSE YOU'RE SAYING "OW!"
THEY'RE LIKE ROCKS!
OW!
- PORKY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'RE LETTING HIM WALK ALL OVER YOU LIKE THIS.
THIS IS YOUR HOUSE! BE A MAN.
- YOU'RE RIGHT. - WHAT?
- I WAS SICK OF WEARING THIS, ANYWAY.
THERE. THAT'S BETTER.
- WELL, IF THIS DUMP DOESN'T COME WITH A BUTLER,
I MIGHT AS WELL GO BACK TO THE OLD DUMP.
AND I CAN TELL YOU PUT THESE IN THE DRYER.
- OK. IN DECORATING YOUR APARTMENT,
I HAD TO ASK MYSELF, "WHO IS SPEEDY GONZALEZ?
"WHAT DOES SPEEDY GONZALEZ WANT?
WHAT DOES SPEEDY GONZALEZ NEED?"
I HAD TO GET INSIDE THE MIND OF SPEEDY GONZALEZ.
IT WASN'T EASY, BUT I THINK I NAILED IT.
SPEEDY GONZALEZ, WELCOME HOME!
[GASPS] WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- UH, YEAH, IT'S, UH...
THERE'S A LOT OF LITTLE BELLS EVERYWHERE.
- THESE BELLS HAVE LITTLE BELLS INSIDE THE BELLS!
[RINGING]
- YOU KNOW, LOLA, I APPRECIATE YOU DOING ALL OF THIS,
BUT I THINK I'M GOING TO GO BACK TO SEÑOR BUGS.
I LIKE MY LITTLE MOUSE HOLE THERE.
IT'S GOT TO BE DRY BY NOW.
- BUT THEN WHO'S GOING TO LIVE HERE?
- YOU COULD. - ME?
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S NOT REALLY MY TASTE.
I GUESS I COULD MAKE IT WORK.
GET RID OF SOME OF THIS SPEEDY GONZALEZ INFLUENCE.
- HOME, SWEET HOME.
- AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH.
[WHIRRING]
- I GOT THE SHELF UP!
[WIND BLOWING]
[BLADES WHIRRING]
[WHIRRING]
[POPPING]
[DINGS] [WHIRRING STOPS]
- BEEP BEEP!
[PUFFING]
[PUFFS]
[CREAKS]
[WHIRRING]
BEEP BEEP!
[WIND BLOWING]
[WHIRRING]
[BUZZING]
[POPPING]
[DINGS]
BEEP BEEP!
- IT WAS, BUT I'M A NOBEL PRIZE WINNER.
I KNOW HOW TO FIX A HOUSE.
- OK. FIXED THE HOUSE.
LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE.
- WELL, SHE FIXED THE HOUSE,
BUT I PUT UP THE SHELF.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
- I'LL JUST WEAR IT.