Previously on Sister Wives One-on-One...
They can leave whenever they want. I can't.
It is not a double standard because you emotionally have left and abandoned them.
Take the word back! Because I take offense to that word of abandonment.
When Meri had an affair...
What keeps you invested in this relationship?
Because I love him.
Oh, my heart breaks when I think about their marriage
and I don't want that.
It's not about sides. It's about that you hurt for both of them.
Meri's committed to staying with the family.
Is that going to be enough for all of you?
I don't think that's enough for anybody, but everybody makes their choices.
Coming up, the one on one conversations continue
as I talk individually with Kody, Janelle, Robin, Christine and Meri
to talk about the most provocative events in their lives.
Listen, I'm carrying this load
and I've done it all these years.
We are going to be one family.
That was like living in a fresh hell with Meri and Janelle.
He's like, "You're just changing all of the agreements and everything."
And I said, "I'm overwhelmed."
You really are the only one
that's having a fully functioning relationship with Kody.
And there's this sort of pecking order.
And Robin's like going, "I didn't do this to you.
I didn't do this. Why are you this way?"
Where are you and Kody right now?
Kody and I are divorced. We're completely separate.
She did not like her life anymore.
She pretty much had decided, you know, "I really don't want to be here."
- Did she ever hear you say, "I don't want you to leave"? - No.
So are we ever going to have an intimate marriage again?
And he just said, "Probably not."
I'm Sukanya Krishnan and this is Sister Wives One on One.
- Hello, hello. - Hello, Meri.
- Hi. - Come on. Sit down.
You want anything other than water over there?
In the back of your mind, you're always worried.
Stand by in five, four, three...
So, the conversations keep getting deeper.
- Yeah. - And they keep getting harder.
- Ooh. - Alright, let's talk about COVID
and how that transitioned the family.
Um, that was already... You were feeling already very separate from them.
- Mmm-hmm. - And here comes COVID
um, and it kind of caught the whole family unit off guard.
- So there was the initial protocols. - Yeah.
And then, six months later, um, Kody kind of came up with his rules.
Like the nanny's rules? Are those the rules?
Where I was like, "Kody, this is ridiculous."
Well, you didn't mince words.
- Take a look. - Okay.
Uh, you were asking why our nanny was able to hang out with our kids
and none of the other kids could.
What is the nanny doing
that makes it so they can come over?
What does the nanny do?
I'm looking at these rules and I'm astounded.
"Wear mask in public. Sanitize hands after shopping.
Sanitize purchased products and groceries with alcohol wipes
before placing inside house.
No eating at sit-down restaurants, only takeout.
Clean mail with alcohol wipes."
Okay, so there's the ten billion commandments of Kody.
Well, I have birthday presents for you.
I guess I'll just leave them on your porch or something, you know.
You can mock it or you can find a way.
- Okay. - Yeah.
Talk to me about the nanny part of it.
Ysabel was so mad. She's like, "So I can't go over, but she can go over."
And I'm like, "Look, I don't know why.
I don't even know. So I'll ask dad."
Ysabel was just mad and she's like, "I need to see my sisters.
This is absolutely ridiculous."
So you became very protective because you're like,
"Well, why is the nanny able to do this and not my children?"
It felt just um, like, just untrusted.
Like we were just untrusted. They couldn't trust us.
- I was very open that I was traveling. - Yeah.
I was very open though, so in my mind, I was being trustworthy.
Why weren't the rules out sooner?
- 'Cause that was something that-- - I wondered the same thing.
There was totally a lot of lost time.
There was like, "Why isn't this being talked about?"
Did you want to shake Kody? You were around him the whole time.
- I don't understand. - Oh, man. He was such a grump.
Like, but I don't understand. You were with...
You were with him the majority of the time.
Believe me, I was saying it.
And all I would get back from him was, "They won't do it.
Janelle won't do it. Christine won't do it. Nobody."
He was in this place of his kids were, you know,
- you've seen how all the kids have been. - Yeah.
And... At least Janelle's kids.
He was getting kickback everywhere he went.
He was getting kickback for just the basic stuff.
Why did nobody think to ask Kody and Robin before,
"What is the nanny doing that makes it so safe that she can come over?"
We never thought of it.
- Why not? - Who wants to talk about,
"When can we get back together,"
when Kody and my relationship is so terrible that it really it's like,
"I don't necessarily want to get back together,
but my kids really do, so I'll do whatever it takes
to get my kids back together with everybody."
What I had to realize was that we were seeing Kody for a couple of hours a week.
So I just kind of thought, "You know what?
We could go out of town and spend the whole amount of time--
- Together. - Together with my kids
surrounded by so much love and acceptance
rather than here." It was so sporadic.
I had two households that just wouldn't keep the rules.
Not unanimously.
Whereas even with the adult children in Robin's house,
she was able to maintain those rules.
And her kids complied. And our nanny complied.
But can you understand how some of the wives
- felt separated and polarized from you? - By their own actions though.
But they chose their children. They wanted to be with their children
- and be happy with their children. - They're adult children.
Yeah, okay. That's fine. That's fine.
When your children are adults, they grow up, they leave.
When they're tender ages, you protect them.
Yes, a mother protects her children
- and her duty to her children that are 18 and younger-- - Yeah.
...is a duty over her husband, but once they're adults...
Kody, 18 is not an adult.
Well, the 18-year-olds can keep the rules too.
Did you feel that you had to choose between your kids and Kody at times?
Yeah, at times it did feel like I had to kind of choose.
Look, I have to choose my kids. I have to choose my kids.
He kind of wanted you to be a little bit more...
I think he thought I should move them out and...
- Well he said they're 18. They're grown up-- - Yeah, but...
That they should be able to move out and function on their own.
Why would I want them to move out into the scary world of COVID exposure?
I could sort of keep them safer at home, I felt like.
Gabe and Garrison have been a real touch point, and you mentioned it before.
Where is this relationship today?
- Where is it? - Not good. Not talking.
You're not talking at all to Gabe and Garrison?
Well, I am a little bit like, once in a while
touch base you know, but it's...
Um, I... It's like one of those relationships where we got to do a lot of work.
Let's watch this and we'll get your reaction.
So because of the COVID 19, I've been the only member of the family
who's been going from house to house.
So I've been away from Janelle's house
because Garrison and Gabriel have more extended exposure.
I actually think my boys think their dad is being too careful.
- Well, I'm hopeful that he's-- - The whole family is going to fall apart. We're done.
I feel like everyone in my family is so focused on being right
that this is ruining our family.
Here's the rules. If we abide by them, I'm coming around.
You get to choose.
I think the problem here honestly is whether I'm being respected in my home or not.
- That's it in a nutshell. - For you?
It was the... Was it the respect or lack of respect from your boys?
Yes, I make rules, you guys abide by them. You know, that type of thing.
And I understand that these two needed their social lives.
I totally get it.
But they, in this case, COVID's different...
It's changed everything for everybody
and they want it all to be the same.
And they need to realize that they should go and date that girlfriend.
That's fine, but you need to move out of the house
so that I can be home.
Are you off course with your relationship with Gabe and Garrison?
Oh, yeah. We need therapy.
Yeah, I need... I need to sit down with my boys and get something straight
because I am... I've gotten to the point where I'm so angry
about what happened, we're not communicating. And I think they are too.
I think they... They're like, "Well, you can say respect me,
but... Look, I... Should I respect you
'cause we're... You're dividing the family."
But if the boys really wanted to see their dad so much,
why didn't they follow his rules?
Um, you know they were, but Kody didn't trust that they were being...
Because there was a couple times they said, "Oh, I was really lying about that."
So...
I discovered from social media.
I discovered from other sources what they were doing.
And it... To be honest with you, I mean there's a lot of exaggerating going here.
I had one point where I had... Gabriel and Garrison were saying,
"Dad hasn't been here for nine months."
And I was there the entire time.
Where is the relationship between the boys and Kody now?
- Still very strained. Yeah, it's still very strained. - Yeah.
They have since moved out and I don't know.
I... Kody and I've had some conversations recently
about, "What are you going to do? What are we going to do?"
Because several of his children are at odds with him
because of the way that his COVID rules went down.
And moving forward, what do you want to see
in your relationships with all of your children, including Gabe and Garrison?
Oh, shoot. I... You know, why do we buy so much acreage on Coyote Pass?
Because we hope our children will come back.
- So that is your intention? - Yeah, I want my kids around me. I love them.
But the sad thing is what I've realized
is the lack of respect they have for me.
They want my company, but I struggle with the lack
of respect they have for my leadership.
Coming up...
I'm actually wondering what it'd be like to have Thanksgiving without them.
And I'm giving this eating grin out of sarcasm, out of hurt, out of anger.
You've been asking for this. I've been asking for this.
It... To me, that just doesn't make sense.
And later...
I love Christine and I have always wanted
her and Kody's relationship to be strong. Always.
- Here we go. - Okay.
God, I'm in too damn good of a mood.
I'm kind of going to ask you a lot of questions.
- Yeah, today it's coming. I know. - Yeah, it's coming.
In five, four, three...
So let's talk about Thanksgiving meeting.
That was a... That was sort of a tough moment for the family
because in this clip, you're deciding
where they're gonna spend Thanksgiving.
And I think Kody, this was a moment I, as a viewer, really felt for you
because I think you were really surprised.
I wasn't surprised because they'd been choosing it all along.
- Okay. - But in the beginning, I could tell I was...
- I was in the meeting with a defensive nature. - Okay.
- Take a look at their tone and then we'll talk. - Mmm.
Well, on that note, ladies. We're here because of holidays.
We are going to Aspyn and Mitch's for Thanksgiving,
but we will be here for Christmas.
- So you're going to Utah? - I think so, yeah.
- And you're going to Utah? - Yes.
I'm sitting here with everybody sort of complaining to me
about the rules and about we're not getting together.
And I say, "Well, let's go ahead and do
what we need to do to get back together." And everybody resists that.
You think I'm going off and I'm just gonna not wear a mask
- and not do other things. - No, nope, nope.
I'm not making accusations.
He acts like I'm not doing anything.
I hope everybody enjoys their Thanksgiving.
Yeah off.
Well, how did it feel when Christine and Janelle chose Utah and their kids
over you and the larger family?
I was just like...
I don't know. That eating grin. I don't know.
I don't know what I felt. In that moment. I was like,
"Okay, well, we'll see you guys later,"
- Were you surprised at... Yeah. - Kody being snarky?
- No, I think Kody was heartbroken. He was sad. - He was heartbroken.
I think Kody was sad that it wasn't coming together
like he was hoping and he was wanting
'cause he did give us the rules for us to follow.
So I'm sure he's super frustrated.
- 'Cause we now have the rules. - Right.
How did you feel?
I was frustrated that for the same reason
and maybe this is me just putting my feelings on Kody.
But like, I can only imagine he was frustrated.
You know, like, "You've been asking for this. I've been asking for this.
Here we are. We have the blueprint of what to do,
- and it's too difficult, so we're not going to do it." - Mmm.
It... To me, that just doesn't make sense.
But you've been saying you wanted the whole family to get together
and that Kody put out these rules so we can all comply.
And then Kody does this and then it doesn't really kind of shape up the way...
Yeah, he put them out like ten days or so,
maybe three... Two weeks before.
And my boys, they were like, "Mom, we can't do this."
Well, Janelle keeps repeating, "I'm doing this. I'm wearing a mask.
I'm doing these things." Well, your boys aren't.
But you see her walk away
- and you see her really angry at you. - Yeah, she's angry. Yeah.
- But you let her walk away. - Well what was I gonna do?
I don't know. As a husband, run after her.
- No! No! - Look at her and say, "I need you."
Listen this is seven months into this.
Yeah, but was it your ego stopping you? What was stopping you?
Because there's no loyalty.
Because I've already gone through this whole thing and not been supported.
But how long can you be betrayed in a situation
where you... There is a refusal
to either communicate, to understand or to partner.
So are you saying your wives are not loyal to you?
- You judge, okay? - I'm not judging.
There is so much water under the bridge
that I'm not reaching out to them. I'm like actually relieved
and I'm giving this eating grin out of sarcasm, out of hurt, out of anger.
But I'm actually wondering what it'd be like to have a Thanksgiving without them.
You choose your family, Janelle chose her family,
but Robin was really upset that you guys didn't choose the larger family.
I know, but I can't always make everybody happy.
For me, it's the fact that I have older kids
and then it's also that Kody and I struggle. Not fun.
I think if I had older kids, but Kody and I were fine,
and we were great and stuff and had a really great functioning marriage,
- then I think we could make it work. - Mmm-hmm.
So it seems sometimes I look back and I'm like,
"Oh, that was a little bit of a callous decision,"
as far as the big family goes.
And I thought about that a lot. You know, am I doing something
that's jeopardizing the whole family?
And I kept weighing it. You know, I've got kids at home
and I need to make sure that they are secure and solid,
and I've got other kids that needs to see me.
All I can do is have a clear conscience at the end of the day.
And you validate what she said?
Well, I can validate it.
But in COVID, everybody has to make sacrifices, right?
Listen, I feel like they've been the biggest jack wagons about what's been going on.
Janelle was literally um, passive with the boys.
You know, Christine was not passive. She was actually um...
She was actually moving out. Like, "I'm going and I'm gonna go and do this
and our relationship be damned."
- And then, Thanksgiving happens that way-- - Mmm-hmm.
And you see me through a combination of bitterness and...
Just... They're just...
I just know all these people in plural marriages and they're pushing through.
- Mmm-hmm. - You know?
And so this whole COVID experience has had me wondering if this is it.
Coming up...
- He's my best friend. - He is still your husband
and the emotional intimacy and physical intimacy has to go hand-in-hand.
I mean, you know, we're fine. So Kody and I are fine.
I don't know if she needs Kody to fill her tank.
I think she fills her own damn tank.
- Are you in love with Janelle? - I love Janelle.
Are you in love with Janelle?
It feels like you've been in a pressure cooker for a little bit.
Yeah, 'cause I'm trying and trying and trying and trying and trying.
Yep, I think so too. I really want everything to work so badly.
The one thing that has worked is your relationship with Janelle.
It seems like you two just get each other.
Um, let's show this clip and it's just a beautiful bond
- that you guys have together. - Okay.
There's a really special something for me with my kids about Christine.
She was their primary parental figure at home
for so many years while I worked.
So they are really attached to her.
Just like since the beginning, you've been such a big part of their lives.
My kids, like, they kind of are in orbit around you
as much as they are in orbit around me.
- It's kind of fun, right? It's super, super fun. - Yeah.
There's a bit of choosing sides.
I just got to choose. It came down to choosing between Janelle and Kody
and I chose Janelle sometimes.
Christine as far as our family goes,
not as a dis to any of the other moms, is our primary care giver.
- What do you mean? - From our youngest age,
Christine has been the one to provide for seven kids at a time all the time.
Some of the family has come together in a little clique
that has literally excluded some of the other family members.
Like the cliquiness, the bullying, the exclusion and stuff like that.
Gabriel sees it one way, I see it negatively.
- The cliquiness, the bullying. - What's a clique? I know, bullying too?
Yeah.
So what is Kody seeing--
- that you're shaking your head to? - Maybe he doesn't see
how close I am to Janelle's kids? He's got to see that.
- Um... I know. - But he considers you and Janelle a clique.
- Well... - Are you a clique?
I'm not trying to be. Janelle's super easy. Janelle's really easy.
She's lovely to get along with.
We kind of just get each other after of these years.
I... It's so easy... His negativity is kind of making me crazy.
Yeah, Christine says, "It's like people are choosing sides right now,"
Do you feel you were choosing sides?
I didn't really feel like I was choosing sides.
I was going where it felt like we were wanted in a way.
Like, that we would be okay. We weren't excluding anybody.
They could have come over, but we weren't COVID compliant enough for them.
How has Christine, when Christine joined the marriage,
how did that change the dynamics within your family structure?
You have to know Christine married Kody
- one year after I was married to Kody. - Oh, wow.
So we'd been married a year. And it was a huge blessing.
- Because she was able to kind of buffer. - Yeah.
Um, there was no longer this me, you thing.
Is that when your real friendship together started?
- Christine and I? - Yeah.
No, I thought she was a princess in the beginning. We hated each other.
- Really? - Well, not hated.
- I mean, hate now has this idea of the cat fights-- - Yeah, yeah. No, no.
That's what's on TV. No, it wasn't that.
But when you say she was a princess, what does that mean?
I thought she was a princess. Like, I just thought she was like, I don't know.
I just thought she was a princess.
I was just thinking, do you think Kody might be jealous
because you guys are choosing each other over him?
If Kody's jealous
- Why are you laughing? - Sorry. I mean, for years I've been jealous.
It's plural marriage, for goodness sakes.
And for years, you know, jealousy is a real thing that we have all the time.
That'd be kind of ironic right if Kody was jealous of Janelle and my relationship. Sorry.
- It could be because you have an intimacy. - I mean, I don't know.
- You understand each other. You get each other. - I know, more than I get Kody.
He's really confusing and he's really so hard to get along with sometimes.
And oh, my gosh, his COVID stuff was so firm
and I'm like, "Oh my gosh. Who is this?"
Who is this person that I'm talking to? You're really aggressive
and I don't even know what do with you." I mean, maybe.
- He did admit to being angry. - I know. He was. Of course he was hurt
we weren't choosing the whole family,
but I couldn't choose the whole family all the time. I couldn't.
Can I ask you a question about Janelle
- and her relationship with Kody? - Yeah.
You know. It seems like there are some parallels here too.
- You know? - I hope not.
Between mine and Kody's relationship and hers and--
No, like parallels of just maybe sometimes unhappiness.
Because you know, the kids are growing up. Things are changing.
The dynamic of her relationship with Kody is changing.
Do you think she's happy with Kody?
I think that... I asked her, I'm like, when we were on vacation together.
- Yeah, why not? - I'm like, "So, what does it look like with you and Kody?
Are you fine? Are you gonna stay? 'Cause there's been a lot of stuff."
And she goes, "I've always thought Kody was a great dad.
I've always thought he was a great dad.
And I know that he is still a great dad.
We have things to work out and things like that."
She goes, "But I'm not planning on leaving. I'm gonna stay."
What is it about Janelle that helps you be in sync with her?
Um, we're not in sync. We don't partner really well.
But we actually just are able to have a marriage
that's, if you will, lower in attachment.
I don't even know. I mean we're...
We're good friends. We get along well.
And it's more of a, like just a committed relationship.
- Are you in love with Janelle? - I love Janelle.
Are you in love with Janelle?
Janelle wouldn't tell you she was in that place with me
either if she was being honest.
Look, we have a long term relationship. We've been together almost 30 years.
- He's my best friend. - He is still your husband
and the emotional intimacy and physical intimacy has to go hand-in-hand.
- Yep. We're fine. - Does... Is that something that you are all working on?
Yeah, we're fine. We're fine.
- You're working on that? - Yeah, I mean, you know. We're fine.
So Kody and I are fine.
I'm... I'm not going to share too much, but we're fine.
And that's why I wanted to ask if Kody filled her tank.
I don't know if she needs Kody to fill her tank.
I don't know if she needs that.
What she needs from Kody is very different than what I ever needed from Kody.
I think Janelle's like, a wicked awesome, strong woman
and I think she fills her own damn tank.
Oh, sorry. I think she fills her own tank. I just think she does.
Coming up...
But why didn't you speak up and say, "I don't want to be a basement wife."
- Especially coming from a-- - 'Cause I didn't even know about basement wives.
- She would complain maybe to Kody. - Yeah.
But she never said anything.
When you come in my family, this is a requirement that I have.
We are going to be one family.
That was like living in a fresh hell with Meri and Janelle.
- It's not easy, but-- - It was not easy
- We all have eyes? - Got it.
Okay, marker.
Okay, we are rolling and continue anytime.
The other heartbreaking thing that I saw this season
was when you were talking about head wife and basement wife.
- Oh, yep. Mmm-hmm. With Robin. That conversation. Yeah. - With Robin.
You had never mentioned it before.
And I think this was a moment the viewers caught a glimpse
of Christine being authentically true to her pain within this larger family.
The one house was so hard.
I never felt like I was queen wife or queen mom. Never.
Everybody's needs came before mine.
And everybody's... All the kids' needs came before my kids too.
In the plural community, there's certainly a basement wife mentality.
If you have a situation where there's a wife that's the queen bee,
well, the other wife goes in the basement
and she doesn't matter as much.
And I've seen it enough. I've seen it a lot.
I put myself in the basement and became a basement wife.
And I just feel like I stopped having a choice
and I didn't really matter as much.
- Okay, a lot to unpack there. - Yep. Yeah.
But why didn't you speak up and say, "I don't want to be a basement wife."
- Especially coming from a-- - 'Cause I didn't even know...
I didn't know at that time about basement wives.
I didn't know that it was anything. I had no idea.
- I chose to just let it happen. - But the dynamic... Yeah.
And I chose to be weaker. I just did.
So, every single day of my life, I wake up and I have a choice to make
- if I'm in a situation like that. - Okay.
And in the end, I would love to just be strong and be like, "No, no, no, no."
And just cause more contention, more contention, more contention.
Or I can just go, "Okay, okay. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine."
And make it easier, but then in the end, I lose myself.
- Yeah, I was gonna say, The cost is you. - Yeah, the cost is me.
- The price you pay is losing you. - Yep.
I put everybody first most of the time.
I put whatever Kody needed. It's like, "I can be the peacemaker here.
What do you need? What does Janelle need?
What does Meri need? What do all the kids need?"
It left me running on empty and I asked him for help.
I'm like, "I can't do this anymore."
He's like, "You're just changing all the agreements and everything."
And I said, "I'm overwhelmed."
- And he... He couldn't help. - What were the agreements?
Like family came first. All the time. 100% of the time.
So you were the... The caregiver. You were the organizer.
- Yes, yes. - You were the...
I know that feels uncomfortable for you to hear.
It is... It is uncomfortable.
But I mean, Janelle was very, very, very forthcoming
in saying that you were the one that took care of her kids.
Yes, I was their constant. There we go.
Can we just say, what I like, the term that is just more comfortable?
- Okay. - I was just the constant.
There had to be some sort of hierarchy, right?
- You know? - Mmm-mmm. There's not usually.
- No? - No.
Not in our families.
Not in our family.
But then, how could she feel so alone if there is no hierarchy, you know?
- See, I don't-- Yeah. - When you feel castigated--
- Yeah. - ...and put in the basement, right?
I feel like she's calling that experience with her perspective now.
I mean, I feel like--
So you can't validate that... That she did experience--
- I mean, I'm not saying she didn't. - Right.
She never said anything.
She would complain maybe to Kody.
- Yeah. - But she never said anything.
I was surprised at Christine talking about being a basement wife.
I... I didn't know she felt that way.
And I felt like, Janelle and maybe even Meri, weren't like...
They were like, "Well, we'll just deal
with the dysfunction or the things that don't work."
- And Christine was just like, "Oh, I'm not gonna do it." - Mmm-hmm.
But I know that it... It, I think, unraveled it for Kody.
You know, this memory of the past with the family,
of this, like, happy time in his head,
was so hard for Christine.
And he started losing his sight of, like, the big picture
- that we talk about. - Yeah.
We don't operate separately, you know.
We are one family.
Listen, I'm carrying this load.
And I've done it all these years.
When you come in my family, this is a requirement that I have.
- Mmm-hmm. - You know, is that we're going to be one family.
That was like living in a fresh hell with Meri and Janelle.
And Christine lightened that burden.
For about 10 years, she lightened that burden.
- And it was a beautiful experience. - Yeah.
But then, Christine went, "Wait, uh..."
Christine shrugged.
She's like, "I don't like being in this role."
And then, Robyn came into the family.
And the... What Christine had shrugged what Robyn was picking up.
It has been a lot of years of me sort of, and my kids sort of going, you know,
"Please, can we be accepted."
And struggling to feel fully there.
For whatever reason, there's that struggle with Janelle and Christine.
And then, there's also a struggle with some of their kids.
How... How did that feel?
Um, it's been really, really tough for me.
Yeah, it's been really hard.
It's been really, um, painful.
And that leads me to my next conversation with you,
which is just joining a family that was already
kind of functioning or not functioning.
- So we want to take a look at this clip. - Okay.
I've had one of the kids call me and ask me,
"Can't we just relax the rules about COVID?"
You know, you gotta blame somebody so...
I'm an easy target.
But I didn't sign up for monogamy.
I... It... It's just... Ah, gosh.
I'm so tired of this.
I... I've been doing it for years.
From day one, sitting here, begging to be a part of this family.
And I'm tired of being questioned.
I'm just tired of it.
I need to let my kids know that, um, we're not all gonna be together for Thanksgiving.
I don't want them to feel sad and rejected.
But I don't know how they couldn't.
That's how I feel.
You know, and I'm trying to be big about it and,
uh, you know, kind of mature about it but it's hard for me, too.
It's hard to watch, right?
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah.
My littlest doesn't remember the names of her siblings.
Because it's... We're just not seeing each other.
And...
My older kids, they're... They don't know what to do
with the decisions that have been made.
They... They don't know how to compute it.
They're like, this is our family.
You know, why are we choosing not to be together?
Yeah.
I also saw you in that clip saying, you know, "I'm the easy target."
Do you feel like you're an easy target?
Oh, yeah. Definitely.
Why?
I get along with Kody.
She came into this family, cap in hand,
um, telling her children very specifically,
"You will accept this family and you'll treat these other women as mothers,
and you will treat these other kids as siblings."
And, uh, for some reason, the rules weren't required from the rest of the family
to accept her the same way she was forced to accept us.
Their marriage was done by our church officials.
And they haven't granted them a divorce.
For me to have someone else tell me whether or not my marriage is over,
I'm like, no, I don't really need that.
But I... I'm curious about in your faith,
she wouldn't go into the afterlife with you?
You know what? You don't know the mind of God.
Does it hurt when the other kids that call you kind of blame you?
Oh, yeah. I hate it.
It makes me angry.
It's insulting and, um...
Uh, 'cause what I consider what they're saying I'm doing, uh, I think it's...
I think any time a wife is...
In a plural family,
is controlling a husband enough to affect other relationships,
I think she's a bad person.
It's just... I'm tired of it because it's been happening for years.
- Mmm. - I would help any one of those kids
have a conversation with their dad, try to make it safe for them.
Mmm-hmm. But how about it being safe for you?
Gosh.
I don't think I've ever cried so much in an interview.
I can't say that it's been like that all the time.
But there's been a lot of unsafe spaces, yeah.
I just want...
I just want people to see me as who I am.
I want them to see that I love this family.
- That I'm committed to them. - Mmm.
That'd I do anything for them.
That I love them.
And...
...that I want the relationship.
Kody's been very clear that sometimes the other sister wives
haven't been so accepting of Robin and her kids.
I think that at the beginning it was really hard.
Blending families together is really difficult.
And there were a lot of frustrations on...
- And hurt feelings on both sides of it. - Mmm-mmm.
I mean, we all came out of this scarred.
All of us did.
Uh, but, no, I never had any intention to alienate Robyn
- or her kids, ever. - But why does he feel that way?
And there's this sort of pecking order.
It's this... Like, Meri was really hard on Janelle
and then, Janelle and Meri were hard on Christine.
And then, Janelle and Meri and Christine were hard on Robyn.
And Robyn's like going, "Well, I didn't do this to you.
I didn't do this. Why are you this way?"
- Being mean to me. - And frankly,
other than Meri, I'm not sure that the others would ever want to be her friend.
You know, 'cause I had a conversation with Janelle recently were I said,
"Well, hey, let's... Let's, um...
Let's figure this out, you know.
I want the good sister wife relationship.
I know they exist."
And she... She kind of said,
"Well, you know, I... I'll have to think about that."
Yep, there is some history there in the past that...
- I... I mean, my desire's there. - Yeah.
But I'm kind of like, ugh, do I want to do this again?
- Do you know what I mean? So... - Yeah.
But it's true, like, I felt like,
um, in this particular conversation,
I felt like I was kind of being put on the spot.
And I'm like, I don't know, I don't know.
- You know? - Yeah.
But what do you want?
- Do you want to have a relationship with her-- - I--
...that's a little bit deeper?
Maybe a... A relationship that you have with Christine?
Yes, I think so.
But I don't know...
Yeah, I just don't know.
Like, I don't know how to...
'Cause Christine and I, we're... Like, it was just kind of one of those things
that happened 'cause we were raising kids together.
I kind of feel like you really are the only one that's having
a fully-functioning relationship with Kody.
And...
...that must...
...bother them.
It makes me angry.
Ah, I'm sorry.
Oh,
Sorry.
Gosh, how am I gonna get through this interview?
I can't.
Why does that make you so angry?
You said, "Gosh, this makes me so angry."
I just don't know why they're not figuring this stuff out.
And talking and finding...
Finding their compromise and finding...
Finding things that they...
Finding the things that they love about each other and...
I can't fix it for him.
I can try. I can try to persuade.
I can try to influence.
I can... I can beg.
I can, um...
That's a lot of heavy lifting.
It's my family.
Gosh.
No, you're doing great.
And I know this is a difficult time for you and your family.
And I'm sorry, but...
Having been through a divorce yourself,
can you tell me how Christine is feeling?
And can you relate to her at this moment?
I was still trying when...
...it was when I was where she's at.
I love Christine and...
I have always wanted her and Kody's relationship to be strong.
Always.
Um...
I understand that...
You know, she's feeling like she doesn't have other choices
but I wish that she had decided to keep trying.
Where are we at with Kody and Christine?
Well, Christine says they're divorced.
And...
...technically, in my head, they're not.
But, you know...
Because their marriage was done by our church officials.
And they haven't granted them a divorce.
But I don't know.
In our church, polygamous women can leave they're not trapped.
- Mmm-hmm. - They can leave if they want to leave.
And if it's not working, and they have to go through the proper channels and stuff.
But then they can get a release and then, they stay.
Well, I haven't been a member of that church for a long time.
- Mmm-hmm. - And I left a long time ago.
And I just have no interest in the church.
So to me, the ecclesiastical authorities
in that church, I don't really care.
- Yeah. - As far as a religious ceiling,
I just think that God's fine if I just want to be happy.
And so for me to have, like, uh...
Someone else tell me whether or not my marriage is over,
I'm like, no, I don't really need that.
But I... I'm curious about in your faith,
- is she always married to you? - She doesn't believe it, no.
No, she doesn't believe it and I... I'm comfortable with where she's at with it.
- She doesn't believe it. - So she wouldn't go into the afterlife with you?
- Because... - Uh.
Well, see, God has a way of sorting things out.
My religion says, "Uh-uh-uh!"
That's a dogma of the religion.
And I'm going, you know what? You don't know the mind of God.
- Mmm-hmm. - And right now, it's just in God's hands
and I'm not worried about it.
God sorts those things out.
- Mmm-hmm. - So she... She doesn't believe in the religion.
She's not part of the faith any more.
And she's free from that yoke of bondage, if you will.
Well, I think... I think Robin feels very sad.
I know, she's very sweet.
I mean, it's...
It's not fun breaking people's hearts.
I mean, at my core, I just want people to be happy
and I just want people to feel loved.
But I knew that I was making a decision that would break hearts.
And it tore me apart.
And it was super, super sad.
So where are you and Kody at right now?
Kody and I are divorced.
We're completely separate.
Next time, on Sister Wives: One on One.
- Are you questioning your own polygamy right now? - Oh, hell, yes.
Yes.
Okay, do I still want to do this?
If he doesn't love plural marriage, what does he do?
And we've seen that in our culture.
If he wants to give up, he can give up.
I have been moved out of my house.
What did I do so wrong?
I've actually never seen her side of this.
So you can have an intimate relationship with somebody else.
But I get nothing.
What a waste.
I don't see why giving up is an option when you haven't actually tried.
You're pulling apart something that has been for 25 years.
It's like who are you after that?
I mean, we have really messed this up.
This call to be better than we are.
I'm changing the whole dynamic of a huge family.
Is it just selfish? Is that what this is?
I know you want to set the record straight.
You've got your version of the story.
Christine has hers.
There's a lot to unpack with that.
More than I want to.