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Previously on
Sister Wives One-on-One...
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They can leave whenever
they want. I can't.
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It is not a double standard
because you emotionally
have left and abandoned them.
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Take the word back!
Because I take offense
to that word of abandonment.
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When Meri had an affair...
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What keeps you invested
in this relationship?
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Because I love him.
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Oh, my heart breaks
when I think
about their marriage
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and I don't want that.
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It's not about sides.
It's about that you hurt
for both of them.
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Meri's committed to staying
with the family.
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Is that going to be
enough for all of you?
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I don't think that's enough
for anybody, but everybody
makes their choices.
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Coming up,
the one on one
conversations continue
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as I talk individually
with Kody, Janelle, Robin,
Christine and Meri
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to talk about the most
provocative events
in their lives.
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Listen, I'm carrying this load
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and I've done it
all these years.
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We are going to be one family.
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That was like living
in a fresh hell
with Meri and Janelle.
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He's like, "You're just
changing all of the agreements
and everything."
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And I said, "I'm overwhelmed."
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You really are the only one
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that's having
a fully functioning
relationship with Kody.
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And there's this sort of
pecking order.
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And Robin's like going,
"I didn't do this to you.
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I didn't do this.
Why are you this way?"
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Where are you
and Kody right now?
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Kody and I are divorced.
We're completely separate.
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She did not like
her life anymore.
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She pretty much had decided,
you know, "I really don't
want to be here."
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- Did she ever hear you say, "I don't want you to leave"?
- No.
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So are we ever going to have
an intimate marriage again?
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And he just said,
"Probably not."
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I'm Sukanya Krishnan
and this is Sister Wives
One on One.
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- Hello, hello.
- Hello, Meri.
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- Hi.
- Come on. Sit down.
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You want anything
other than water over there?
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In the back of your mind,
you're always worried.
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Stand by in five,
four, three...
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So, the conversations
keep getting deeper.
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- Yeah.
- And they keep getting harder.
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- Ooh.
- Alright, let's talk about COVID
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and how that
transitioned the family.
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Um, that was already...
You were feeling already
very separate from them.
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- Mmm-hmm.
- And here comes COVID
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um, and it kind of caught
the whole family unit
off guard.
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- So there was the initial protocols.
- Yeah.
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And then, six months later,
um, Kody kind of
came up with his rules.
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Like the nanny's rules? Are those the rules?
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Where I was like, "Kody,
this is ridiculous."
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Well, you didn't mince words.
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- Take a look.
- Okay.
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Uh, you were asking why
our nanny was able to
hang out with our kids
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and none of
the other kids could.
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What is the nanny doing
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that makes it
so they can come over?
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What does the nanny do?
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I'm looking
at these rules
and I'm astounded.
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"Wear mask in public.
Sanitize hands after shopping.
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Sanitize purchased
products and groceries
with alcohol wipes
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before placing inside house.
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No eating at sit-down
restaurants, only takeout.
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Clean mail
with alcohol wipes."
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Okay, so there's the ten
billion commandments of Kody.
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Well, I have birthday
presents for you.
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I guess I'll just leave them
on your porch or something,
you know.
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You can mock it or you can find a way.
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- Okay.
- Yeah.
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Talk to me about
the nanny part of it.
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Ysabel was so mad.
She's like, "So I can't
go over, but she can go over."
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And I'm like, "Look,
I don't know why.
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I don't even know.
So I'll ask dad."
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Ysabel was just mad
and she's like,
"I need to see my sisters.
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This is
absolutely ridiculous."
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So you became very protective
because you're like,
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"Well, why is the nanny
able to do this
and not my children?"
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It felt just um, like,
just untrusted.
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Like we were just untrusted.
They couldn't trust us.
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- I was very open that I was traveling.
- Yeah.
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I was very open though,
so in my mind,
I was being trustworthy.
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Why weren't the rules
out sooner?
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- 'Cause that was something that--
- I wondered the same thing.
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There was totally
a lot of lost time.
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There was like, "Why isn't
this being talked about?"
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Did you want to shake Kody?
You were around him
the whole time.
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- I don't understand.
- Oh, man. He was such a grump.
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Like, but I don't understand.
You were with...
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You were with him
the majority of the time.
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Believe me, I was saying it.
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And all I would get back
from him was,
"They won't do it.
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Janelle won't do it.
Christine won't do it.
Nobody."
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He was in this place
of his kids were, you know,
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- you've seen how all the kids have been.
- Yeah.
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And... At least
Janelle's kids.
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He was getting kickback
everywhere he went.
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He was getting kickback
for just the basic stuff.
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Why did nobody think
to ask Kody and Robin before,
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"What is the nanny doing
that makes it so safe
that she can come over?"
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We never thought of it.
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- Why not?
- Who wants to talk about,
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"When can we
get back together,"
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when Kody and my relationship
is so terrible
that it really it's like,
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"I don't necessarily want
to get back together,
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but my kids really do,
so I'll do whatever it takes
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to get my kids back
together with everybody."
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What I had to realize
was that we were seeing Kody
for a couple of hours a week.
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So I just kind of thought,
"You know what?
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We could go out of town
and spend the whole
amount of time--
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- Together.
- Together with my kids
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surrounded by so much
love and acceptance
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rather than here."
It was so sporadic.
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I had two households
that just wouldn't
keep the rules.
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Not unanimously.
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Whereas even with
the adult children
in Robin's house,
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she was able to
maintain those rules.
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And her kids complied.
And our nanny complied.
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But can you understand
how some of the wives
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- felt separated and polarized from you?
- By their own actions though.
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But they chose their children.
They wanted to be
with their children
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- and be happy with their children.
- They're adult children.
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Yeah, okay.
That's fine. That's fine.
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When your children are adults,
they grow up, they leave.
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When they're tender ages,
you protect them.
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Yes, a mother
protects her children
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- and her duty to her children that are 18 and younger--
- Yeah.
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...is a duty over her husband,
but once they're adults...
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Kody, 18 is not an adult.
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Well, the 18-year-olds
can keep the rules too.
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Did you feel that you had
to choose between your kids
and Kody at times?
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Yeah, at times it did
feel like I had
to kind of choose.
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Look, I have to
choose my kids.
I have to choose my kids.
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He kind of wanted you
to be a little bit more...
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I think he thought
I should move them out and...
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- Well he said they're 18. They're grown up--
- Yeah, but...
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That they should be able
to move out
and function on their own.
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Why would I want them
to move out into the scary
world of COVID exposure?
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I could sort of keep them
safer at home, I felt like.
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Gabe and Garrison have been
a real touch point,
and you mentioned it before.
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Where is this relationship today?
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- Where is it?
- Not good. Not talking.
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You're not talking at all
to Gabe and Garrison?
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Well, I am a little bit like,
once in a while
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touch base you know,
but it's...
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Um, I... It's like one of
those relationships where
we got to do a lot of work.
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Let's watch this
and we'll get your reaction.
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So because of the COVID 19,
I've been the only
member of the family
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who's been going
from house to house.
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So I've been away
from Janelle's house
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because Garrison and Gabriel
have more extended exposure.
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I actually think my boys
think their dad is being
too careful.
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- Well, I'm hopeful that he's--
- The whole family is going to fall apart. We're done.
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I feel like everyone
in my family
is so focused on being right
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that this is
ruining our family.
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Here's the rules.
If we abide by them,
I'm coming around.
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You get to choose.
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I think the problem here
honestly is whether I'm being
respected in my home or not.
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- That's it in a nutshell.
- For you?
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It was the... Was it
the respect or lack of respect
from your boys?
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Yes, I make rules,
you guys abide by them.
You know, that type of thing.
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And I understand that
these two needed
their social lives.
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I totally get it.
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But they, in this case,
COVID's different...
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It's changed everything
for everybody
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and they want it
all to be the same.
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And they need to realize
that they should go
and date that girlfriend.
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That's fine, but you need
to move out of the house
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so that I can be home.
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Are you off course
with your relationship
with Gabe and Garrison?
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Oh, yeah. We need therapy.
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Yeah, I need... I need
to sit down with my boys
and get something straight
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because I am...
I've gotten to the point
where I'm so angry
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about what happened,
we're not communicating.
And I think they are too.
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I think they... They're like,
"Well, you can say
respect me,
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but... Look, I...
Should I respect you
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'cause we're... You're
dividing the family."
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But if the boys really
wanted to see
their dad so much,
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why didn't they
follow his rules?
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Um, you know they were,
but Kody didn't trust
that they were being...
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Because there was a couple
times they said, "Oh, I was
really lying about that."
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So...
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I discovered
from social media.
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I discovered
from other sources
what they were doing.
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And it... To be honest
with you, I mean there's a lot
of exaggerating going here.
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I had one point where I had...
Gabriel and Garrison
were saying,
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"Dad hasn't been here
for nine months."
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And I was there
the entire time.
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Where is the relationship
between the boys
and Kody now?
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- Still very strained. Yeah, it's still very strained.
- Yeah.
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They have since moved out
and I don't know.
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I... Kody and I've had
some conversations recently
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about, "What are you
going to do? What are
we going to do?"
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Because several of
his children are
at odds with him
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because of the way that
his COVID rules went down.
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And moving forward,
what do you want to see
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in your relationships
with all of your children,
including Gabe and Garrison?
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Oh, shoot. I... You know,
why do we buy so much
acreage on Coyote Pass?
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Because we hope our children
will come back.
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- So that is your intention?
- Yeah, I want my kids around me. I love them.
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But the sad thing is
what I've realized
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is the lack of respect
they have for me.
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They want my company,
but I struggle with the lack
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of respect they have
for my leadership.
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Coming up...
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I'm actually wondering
what it'd be like to have
Thanksgiving without them.
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And I'm giving this
eating grin out of sarcasm,
out of hurt, out of anger.
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You've been asking for this.
I've been asking for this.
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It... To me, that just
doesn't make sense.
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And later...
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00:10:45,655 --> 00:10:49,482
I love Christine
and I have always wanted
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00:10:49,517 --> 00:10:52,241
her and Kody's relationship
to be strong. Always.
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00:11:01,413 --> 00:11:04,310
- Here we go.
- Okay.
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God, I'm in too
damn good of a mood.
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00:11:06,103 --> 00:11:07,931
I'm kind of going to ask
you a lot of questions.
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00:11:07,965 --> 00:11:09,758
- Yeah, today it's coming. I know.
- Yeah, it's coming.
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In five, four, three...
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00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:17,068
So let's talk about
Thanksgiving meeting.
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00:11:17,103 --> 00:11:20,724
That was a... That was sort of
a tough moment for the family
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00:11:20,758 --> 00:11:22,517
because in this clip,
you're deciding
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00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,206
where they're gonna
spend Thanksgiving.
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00:11:24,241 --> 00:11:28,827
And I think Kody, this was
a moment I, as a viewer,
really felt for you
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00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,793
because I think you were
really surprised.
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00:11:31,827 --> 00:11:34,586
I wasn't surprised
because they'd been
choosing it all along.
224
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:37,275
- Okay.
- But in the beginning, I could tell I was...
225
00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:40,620
- I was in the meeting with a defensive nature.
- Okay.
226
00:11:42,172 --> 00:11:45,172
- Take a look at their tone and then we'll talk.
- Mmm.
227
00:11:45,206 --> 00:11:49,103
Well, on that note, ladies.
We're here
because of holidays.
228
00:11:49,137 --> 00:11:51,620
We are going to
Aspyn and Mitch's
for Thanksgiving,
229
00:11:51,655 --> 00:11:53,310
but we will be here
for Christmas.
230
00:11:55,103 --> 00:11:57,724
- So you're going to Utah?
- I think so, yeah.
231
00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,413
- And you're going to Utah?
- Yes.
232
00:11:59,448 --> 00:12:01,655
I'm sitting here
with everybody sort of
complaining to me
233
00:12:01,689 --> 00:12:04,206
about the rules
and about we're not
getting together.
234
00:12:04,241 --> 00:12:06,241
And I say, "Well, let's
go ahead and do
235
00:12:06,275 --> 00:12:09,724
what we need to do
to get back together."
And everybody resists that.
236
00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:12,620
You think I'm going off
and I'm just gonna
not wear a mask
237
00:12:12,655 --> 00:12:14,379
- and not do other things.
- No, nope, nope.
238
00:12:14,413 --> 00:12:16,482
I'm not making accusations.
239
00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:19,206
He acts like
I'm not doing anything.
240
00:12:19,241 --> 00:12:21,379
I hope everybody
enjoys their Thanksgiving.
241
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,931
Yeah off.
242
00:12:35,931 --> 00:12:39,793
Well, how did it feel
when Christine and Janelle
chose Utah and their kids
243
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,827
over you
and the larger family?
244
00:12:44,206 --> 00:12:47,103
I was just like...
245
00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:52,827
I don't know.
That eating grin.
I don't know.
246
00:12:52,862 --> 00:12:55,379
I don't know what I felt.
In that moment. I was like,
247
00:12:55,413 --> 00:12:58,172
"Okay, well, we'll see
you guys later,"
248
00:12:58,206 --> 00:13:00,655
- Were you surprised at... Yeah.
- Kody being snarky?
249
00:13:00,689 --> 00:13:03,034
- No, I think Kody was heartbroken. He was sad.
- He was heartbroken.
250
00:13:03,068 --> 00:13:06,172
I think Kody was sad
that it wasn't coming together
251
00:13:06,206 --> 00:13:08,206
like he was hoping
and he was wanting
252
00:13:08,241 --> 00:13:10,206
'cause he did give us
the rules for us to follow.
253
00:13:10,241 --> 00:13:12,379
So I'm sure
he's super frustrated.
254
00:13:12,413 --> 00:13:14,275
- 'Cause we now have the rules.
- Right.
255
00:13:15,068 --> 00:13:17,000
How did you feel?
256
00:13:17,034 --> 00:13:20,551
I was frustrated that
for the same reason
257
00:13:20,586 --> 00:13:25,000
and maybe this is me
just putting my feelings
on Kody.
258
00:13:25,034 --> 00:13:28,793
But like, I can only imagine
he was frustrated.
259
00:13:28,827 --> 00:13:32,068
You know, like,
"You've been asking for this.
I've been asking for this.
260
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:35,655
Here we are. We have
the blueprint of what to do,
261
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:39,137
- and it's too difficult, so we're not going to do it."
- Mmm.
262
00:13:39,172 --> 00:13:41,482
It... To me, that just
doesn't make sense.
263
00:13:41,517 --> 00:13:44,172
But you've been saying
you wanted the whole family
to get together
264
00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:46,517
and that Kody put out
these rules
so we can all comply.
265
00:13:46,551 --> 00:13:51,103
And then Kody does this
and then it doesn't really
kind of shape up the way...
266
00:13:51,137 --> 00:13:53,103
Yeah, he put them out
like ten days or so,
267
00:13:53,137 --> 00:13:55,620
maybe three...
Two weeks before.
268
00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:59,724
And my boys, they were like,
"Mom, we can't do this."
269
00:13:59,758 --> 00:14:02,413
Well, Janelle keeps repeating,
"I'm doing this.
I'm wearing a mask.
270
00:14:02,448 --> 00:14:05,758
I'm doing these things."
Well, your boys aren't.
271
00:14:05,793 --> 00:14:07,724
But you see her walk away
272
00:14:07,758 --> 00:14:10,551
- and you see her really angry at you.
- Yeah, she's angry. Yeah.
273
00:14:10,586 --> 00:14:13,206
- But you let her walk away.
- Well what was I gonna do?
274
00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:15,620
I don't know. As a husband,
run after her.
275
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:18,275
- No! No!
- Look at her and say, "I need you."
276
00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:20,379
Listen this is
seven months into this.
277
00:14:20,413 --> 00:14:23,862
Yeah, but was it
your ego stopping you?
What was stopping you?
278
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:27,206
Because there's no loyalty.
279
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:31,344
Because I've already
gone through this whole thing
and not been supported.
280
00:14:32,551 --> 00:14:36,344
But how long can you
be betrayed in a situation
281
00:14:36,379 --> 00:14:40,965
where you...
There is a refusal
282
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,586
to either communicate,
to understand or to partner.
283
00:14:47,068 --> 00:14:50,068
So are you saying your wives
are not loyal to you?
284
00:14:51,206 --> 00:14:53,517
- You judge, okay?
- I'm not judging.
285
00:14:53,551 --> 00:14:55,310
There is so much
water under the bridge
286
00:14:55,344 --> 00:14:58,241
that I'm not
reaching out to them.
I'm like actually relieved
287
00:14:58,275 --> 00:15:03,862
and I'm giving this
eating grin out of sarcasm,
out of hurt, out of anger.
288
00:15:03,896 --> 00:15:06,965
But I'm actually wondering
what it'd be like to have
a Thanksgiving without them.
289
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:12,206
You choose your family,
Janelle chose her family,
290
00:15:12,241 --> 00:15:15,827
but Robin was really upset
that you guys didn't choose
the larger family.
291
00:15:15,862 --> 00:15:20,000
I know, but I can't always
make everybody happy.
292
00:15:20,034 --> 00:15:22,482
For me, it's the fact that
I have older kids
293
00:15:22,517 --> 00:15:25,965
and then it's also that
Kody and I struggle.
Not fun.
294
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:30,310
I think if I had older kids,
but Kody and I were fine,
295
00:15:30,344 --> 00:15:33,241
and we were great and stuff
and had a really great
functioning marriage,
296
00:15:33,275 --> 00:15:35,413
- then I think we could make it work.
- Mmm-hmm.
297
00:15:35,448 --> 00:15:37,137
So it seems sometimes
I look back and I'm like,
298
00:15:37,172 --> 00:15:39,344
"Oh, that was a little bit
of a callous decision,"
299
00:15:39,379 --> 00:15:41,586
as far as the big family goes.
300
00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:43,862
And I thought about
that a lot. You know,
am I doing something
301
00:15:43,896 --> 00:15:45,793
that's jeopardizing
the whole family?
302
00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:48,310
And I kept weighing it.
You know, I've got
kids at home
303
00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:51,551
and I need to make sure that
they are secure and solid,
304
00:15:51,586 --> 00:15:54,448
and I've got other kids
that needs to see me.
305
00:15:54,482 --> 00:15:57,310
All I can do is have
a clear conscience
at the end of the day.
306
00:15:57,344 --> 00:15:59,413
And you validate
what she said?
307
00:16:00,344 --> 00:16:02,482
Well, I can validate it.
308
00:16:02,517 --> 00:16:07,482
But in COVID, everybody
has to make sacrifices, right?
309
00:16:07,517 --> 00:16:12,000
Listen, I feel like they've
been the biggest jack wagons
about what's been going on.
310
00:16:12,034 --> 00:16:16,655
Janelle was literally um,
passive with the boys.
311
00:16:16,689 --> 00:16:21,034
You know, Christine
was not passive.
She was actually um...
312
00:16:21,068 --> 00:16:24,827
She was actually moving out.
Like, "I'm going and I'm gonna
go and do this
313
00:16:24,862 --> 00:16:28,620
and our relationship
be damned."
314
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,137
- And then, Thanksgiving happens that way--
- Mmm-hmm.
315
00:16:31,172 --> 00:16:34,379
And you see me
through a combination
of bitterness and...
316
00:16:35,448 --> 00:16:37,206
Just... They're just...
317
00:16:37,241 --> 00:16:40,482
I just know all these people
in plural marriages
and they're pushing through.
318
00:16:40,517 --> 00:16:41,965
- Mmm-hmm.
- You know?
319
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,517
And so this whole COVID
experience has had me
wondering if this is it.
320
00:16:46,241 --> 00:16:47,551
Coming up...
321
00:16:47,586 --> 00:16:50,275
- He's my best friend.
- He is still your husband
322
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:54,103
and the emotional intimacy
and physical intimacy
has to go hand-in-hand.
323
00:16:54,137 --> 00:16:57,103
I mean, you know, we're fine.
So Kody and I are fine.
324
00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:59,758
I don't know if she needs
Kody to fill her tank.
325
00:16:59,793 --> 00:17:01,413
I think she fills
her own damn tank.
326
00:17:01,448 --> 00:17:04,275
- Are you in love with Janelle?
- I love Janelle.
327
00:17:05,068 --> 00:17:06,413
Are you in love with Janelle?
328
00:17:21,586 --> 00:17:23,862
It feels like you've been
in a pressure cooker
for a little bit.
329
00:17:23,896 --> 00:17:26,689
Yeah, 'cause I'm trying
and trying and trying
and trying and trying.
330
00:17:26,724 --> 00:17:30,896
Yep, I think so too.
I really want everything
to work so badly.
331
00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:34,034
The one thing that has worked
is your relationship
with Janelle.
332
00:17:34,068 --> 00:17:36,068
It seems like you two
just get each other.
333
00:17:36,103 --> 00:17:39,379
Um, let's show this clip
and it's just a beautiful bond
334
00:17:39,413 --> 00:17:40,931
- that you guys have together.
- Okay.
335
00:17:42,413 --> 00:17:47,379
There's a really special
something for me
with my kids about Christine.
336
00:17:47,413 --> 00:17:50,310
She was their primary
parental figure at home
337
00:17:50,344 --> 00:17:52,103
for so many years
while I worked.
338
00:17:52,965 --> 00:17:55,413
So they are really
attached to her.
339
00:17:55,448 --> 00:17:58,172
Just like since the beginning,
you've been such
a big part of their lives.
340
00:17:58,206 --> 00:18:01,862
My kids, like, they kind of
are in orbit around you
341
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:03,344
as much as they are
in orbit around me.
342
00:18:03,379 --> 00:18:06,137
- It's kind of fun, right? It's super, super fun.
- Yeah.
343
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,689
There's a bit
of choosing sides.
344
00:18:08,724 --> 00:18:12,206
I just got to choose.
It came down to choosing
between Janelle and Kody
345
00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:15,689
and I chose Janelle sometimes.
346
00:18:16,689 --> 00:18:19,241
Christine as far as
our family goes,
347
00:18:19,275 --> 00:18:22,379
not as a dis to any
of the other moms,
is our primary care giver.
348
00:18:22,413 --> 00:18:25,931
- What do you mean?
- From our youngest age,
349
00:18:25,965 --> 00:18:29,793
Christine has been the one
to provide for seven kids
at a time all the time.
350
00:18:29,827 --> 00:18:34,068
Some of the family
has come together
in a little clique
351
00:18:34,103 --> 00:18:37,206
that has literally excluded
some of the other
family members.
352
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:41,206
Like the cliquiness,
the bullying, the exclusion
and stuff like that.
353
00:18:41,241 --> 00:18:43,724
Gabriel sees it one way,
I see it negatively.
354
00:18:45,448 --> 00:18:48,862
- The cliquiness, the bullying.
- What's a clique? I know, bullying too?
355
00:18:48,896 --> 00:18:50,413
Yeah.
356
00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:52,862
So what is Kody seeing--
357
00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:56,172
- that you're shaking your head to?
- Maybe he doesn't see
358
00:18:56,206 --> 00:18:59,379
how close I am
to Janelle's kids?
He's got to see that.
359
00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:02,620
- Um... I know.
- But he considers you and Janelle a clique.
360
00:19:02,655 --> 00:19:04,655
- Well...
- Are you a clique?
361
00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:11,413
I'm not trying to be.
Janelle's super easy.
Janelle's really easy.
362
00:19:11,448 --> 00:19:13,344
She's lovely to
get along with.
363
00:19:13,379 --> 00:19:15,586
We kind of just get each other
after of these years.
364
00:19:15,620 --> 00:19:19,344
I... It's so easy...
His negativity is kind of
making me crazy.
365
00:19:19,379 --> 00:19:22,793
Yeah, Christine says,
"It's like people are choosing
sides right now,"
366
00:19:22,827 --> 00:19:24,586
Do you feel you were
choosing sides?
367
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:26,482
I didn't really feel like
I was choosing sides.
368
00:19:26,517 --> 00:19:33,482
I was going where
it felt like we were
wanted in a way.
369
00:19:33,517 --> 00:19:36,827
Like, that we would be okay.
We weren't excluding anybody.
370
00:19:36,862 --> 00:19:41,448
They could have come over,
but we weren't COVID compliant
enough for them.
371
00:19:41,482 --> 00:19:43,724
How has Christine,
when Christine
joined the marriage,
372
00:19:43,758 --> 00:19:47,931
how did that change
the dynamics within
your family structure?
373
00:19:47,965 --> 00:19:49,275
You have to know
Christine married Kody
374
00:19:49,310 --> 00:19:51,965
- one year after I was married to Kody.
- Oh, wow.
375
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,068
So we'd been married a year.
And it was a huge blessing.
376
00:19:55,103 --> 00:19:58,793
- Because she was able to kind of buffer.
- Yeah.
377
00:19:58,827 --> 00:20:02,448
Um, there was no longer
this me, you thing.
378
00:20:02,482 --> 00:20:06,689
Is that when your real
friendship together started?
379
00:20:06,724 --> 00:20:08,241
- Christine and I?
- Yeah.
380
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:10,068
No, I thought she was
a princess in the beginning.
We hated each other.
381
00:20:10,103 --> 00:20:12,000
- Really?
- Well, not hated.
382
00:20:12,034 --> 00:20:14,827
- I mean, hate now has this idea of the cat fights--
- Yeah, yeah. No, no.
383
00:20:14,862 --> 00:20:16,241
That's what's on TV.
No, it wasn't that.
384
00:20:16,275 --> 00:20:18,172
But when you say
she was a princess,
what does that mean?
385
00:20:18,206 --> 00:20:21,000
I thought she was a princess.
Like, I just thought she was
like, I don't know.
386
00:20:21,034 --> 00:20:22,827
I just thought
she was a princess.
387
00:20:22,862 --> 00:20:25,137
I was just thinking,
do you think Kody
might be jealous
388
00:20:25,172 --> 00:20:27,931
because you guys
are choosing
each other over him?
389
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:34,068
If Kody's jealous
390
00:20:34,103 --> 00:20:36,862
- Why are you laughing?
- Sorry. I mean, for years I've been jealous.
391
00:20:36,896 --> 00:20:38,379
It's plural marriage,
for goodness sakes.
392
00:20:38,413 --> 00:20:42,758
And for years, you know,
jealousy is a real thing
that we have all the time.
393
00:20:42,793 --> 00:20:47,344
That'd be kind of ironic right
if Kody was jealous of Janelle
and my relationship. Sorry.
394
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:49,896
- It could be because you have an intimacy.
- I mean, I don't know.
395
00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:53,034
- You understand each other. You get each other.
- I know, more than I get Kody.
396
00:20:53,068 --> 00:20:57,758
He's really confusing
and he's really so hard
to get along with sometimes.
397
00:20:57,793 --> 00:21:00,551
And oh, my gosh,
his COVID stuff was so firm
398
00:21:00,586 --> 00:21:02,689
and I'm like, "Oh my gosh.
Who is this?"
399
00:21:02,724 --> 00:21:06,344
Who is this person
that I'm talking to?
You're really aggressive
400
00:21:06,379 --> 00:21:09,448
and I don't even know
what do with you."
I mean, maybe.
401
00:21:11,206 --> 00:21:14,655
- He did admit to being angry.
- I know. He was. Of course he was hurt
402
00:21:14,689 --> 00:21:16,586
we weren't choosing
the whole family,
403
00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:20,896
but I couldn't choose
the whole family
all the time. I couldn't.
404
00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:22,620
Can I ask you a question
about Janelle
405
00:21:22,655 --> 00:21:25,034
- and her relationship with Kody?
- Yeah.
406
00:21:25,068 --> 00:21:28,517
You know. It seems like
there are some
parallels here too.
407
00:21:28,551 --> 00:21:30,206
- You know?
- I hope not.
408
00:21:30,241 --> 00:21:31,965
Between mine and Kody's
relationship and hers and--
409
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:35,137
No, like parallels of just
maybe sometimes unhappiness.
410
00:21:35,172 --> 00:21:38,137
Because you know,
the kids are growing up.
Things are changing.
411
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:41,655
The dynamic of
her relationship with Kody
is changing.
412
00:21:41,689 --> 00:21:44,689
Do you think she's happy
with Kody?
413
00:21:44,724 --> 00:21:50,448
I think that... I asked her,
I'm like, when we were
on vacation together.
414
00:21:50,482 --> 00:21:54,241
- Yeah, why not?
- I'm like, "So, what does it look like with you and Kody?
415
00:21:54,275 --> 00:21:56,862
Are you fine? Are you
gonna stay? 'Cause there's
been a lot of stuff."
416
00:21:56,896 --> 00:21:59,793
And she goes, "I've always
thought Kody was a great dad.
417
00:21:59,827 --> 00:22:01,793
I've always thought
he was a great dad.
418
00:22:01,827 --> 00:22:05,896
And I know that
he is still a great dad.
419
00:22:05,931 --> 00:22:07,862
We have things to work out
and things like that."
420
00:22:07,896 --> 00:22:10,724
She goes, "But I'm not
planning on leaving.
I'm gonna stay."
421
00:22:10,758 --> 00:22:15,275
What is it about Janelle
that helps you be
in sync with her?
422
00:22:15,310 --> 00:22:19,965
Um, we're not in sync.
We don't partner really well.
423
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,862
But we actually just are able
to have a marriage
424
00:22:23,896 --> 00:22:26,413
that's, if you will,
lower in attachment.
425
00:22:26,448 --> 00:22:28,344
I don't even know.
I mean we're...
426
00:22:28,379 --> 00:22:30,758
We're good friends.
We get along well.
427
00:22:30,793 --> 00:22:34,000
And it's more of a, like just
a committed relationship.
428
00:22:34,034 --> 00:22:36,206
- Are you in love with Janelle?
- I love Janelle.
429
00:22:37,172 --> 00:22:38,344
Are you in love with Janelle?
430
00:22:39,896 --> 00:22:42,068
Janelle wouldn't tell you
she was in that place with me
431
00:22:42,103 --> 00:22:43,827
either if she was
being honest.
432
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:47,793
Look, we have a long term
relationship. We've been
together almost 30 years.
433
00:22:47,827 --> 00:22:50,655
- He's my best friend.
- He is still your husband
434
00:22:50,689 --> 00:22:54,344
and the emotional intimacy
and physical intimacy
has to go hand-in-hand.
435
00:22:54,379 --> 00:22:57,413
- Yep. We're fine.
- Does... Is that something that you are all working on?
436
00:22:57,448 --> 00:22:59,137
Yeah, we're fine. We're fine.
437
00:22:59,172 --> 00:23:02,206
- You're working on that?
- Yeah, I mean, you know. We're fine.
438
00:23:02,241 --> 00:23:04,103
So Kody and I are fine.
439
00:23:04,137 --> 00:23:06,241
I'm... I'm not going to share
too much, but we're fine.
440
00:23:08,103 --> 00:23:11,344
And that's why
I wanted to ask
if Kody filled her tank.
441
00:23:11,379 --> 00:23:14,448
I don't know if she needs
Kody to fill her tank.
442
00:23:14,482 --> 00:23:16,103
I don't know
if she needs that.
443
00:23:16,137 --> 00:23:19,482
What she needs from Kody
is very different than
what I ever needed from Kody.
444
00:23:19,517 --> 00:23:22,793
I think Janelle's like,
a wicked awesome, strong woman
445
00:23:22,827 --> 00:23:24,482
and I think she fills
her own damn tank.
446
00:23:24,517 --> 00:23:27,482
Oh, sorry. I think she fills
her own tank.
I just think she does.
447
00:23:28,103 --> 00:23:29,620
Coming up...
448
00:23:29,655 --> 00:23:31,827
But why didn't you speak up
and say, "I don't want to be
a basement wife."
449
00:23:31,862 --> 00:23:34,413
- Especially coming from a--
- 'Cause I didn't even know about basement wives.
450
00:23:34,448 --> 00:23:37,206
- She would complain maybe to Kody.
- Yeah.
451
00:23:37,241 --> 00:23:38,758
But she never said anything.
452
00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:42,310
When you come in my family,
this is a requirement
that I have.
453
00:23:42,344 --> 00:23:44,137
We are going to be one family.
454
00:23:44,172 --> 00:23:47,275
That was like living
in a fresh hell
with Meri and Janelle.
455
00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:58,413
- It's not easy, but--
- It was not easy
456
00:23:58,448 --> 00:24:00,758
- We all have eyes?
- Got it.
457
00:24:00,793 --> 00:24:02,931
Okay, marker.
458
00:24:02,965 --> 00:24:07,241
Okay, we are rolling
and continue anytime.
459
00:24:07,275 --> 00:24:10,137
The other heartbreaking thing
that I saw this season
460
00:24:10,172 --> 00:24:13,413
was when you were talking
about head wife
and basement wife.
461
00:24:13,448 --> 00:24:16,620
- Oh, yep. Mmm-hmm. With Robin. That conversation. Yeah.
- With Robin.
462
00:24:16,655 --> 00:24:18,586
You had never
mentioned it before.
463
00:24:18,620 --> 00:24:20,965
And I think this was a moment
the viewers caught a glimpse
464
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:25,931
of Christine being
authentically true to her pain
within this larger family.
465
00:24:27,896 --> 00:24:29,793
The one house was so hard.
466
00:24:29,827 --> 00:24:33,068
I never felt like
I was queen wife
or queen mom. Never.
467
00:24:34,310 --> 00:24:36,241
Everybody's needs
came before mine.
468
00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:39,724
And everybody's...
All the kids' needs
came before my kids too.
469
00:24:39,758 --> 00:24:44,862
In the plural community,
there's certainly
a basement wife mentality.
470
00:24:44,896 --> 00:24:47,862
If you have a situation
where there's a wife
that's the queen bee,
471
00:24:47,896 --> 00:24:50,103
well, the other wife
goes in the basement
472
00:24:50,137 --> 00:24:52,344
and she doesn't
matter as much.
473
00:24:52,379 --> 00:24:56,137
And I've seen it enough.
I've seen it a lot.
474
00:24:56,172 --> 00:24:59,931
I put myself in the basement
and became a basement wife.
475
00:24:59,965 --> 00:25:03,482
And I just feel like
I stopped having a choice
476
00:25:03,517 --> 00:25:05,482
and I didn't really
matter as much.
477
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:10,034
- Okay, a lot to unpack there.
- Yep. Yeah.
478
00:25:10,068 --> 00:25:13,137
But why didn't you speak up
and say, "I don't want to be
a basement wife."
479
00:25:13,172 --> 00:25:15,034
- Especially coming from a--
- 'Cause I didn't even know...
480
00:25:15,068 --> 00:25:17,827
I didn't know at that time
about basement wives.
481
00:25:17,862 --> 00:25:20,896
I didn't know
that it was anything.
I had no idea.
482
00:25:20,931 --> 00:25:23,655
- I chose to just let it happen.
- But the dynamic... Yeah.
483
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:26,103
And I chose to be weaker.
I just did.
484
00:25:26,137 --> 00:25:29,137
So, every single day
of my life, I wake up
and I have a choice to make
485
00:25:29,172 --> 00:25:30,724
- if I'm in a situation like that.
- Okay.
486
00:25:30,758 --> 00:25:35,310
And in the end, I would love
to just be strong and be like,
"No, no, no, no."
487
00:25:35,344 --> 00:25:37,896
And just cause more
contention, more contention,
more contention.
488
00:25:37,931 --> 00:25:40,551
Or I can just go,
"Okay, okay. That's fine.
That's fine. That's fine."
489
00:25:40,586 --> 00:25:43,172
And make it easier, but then
in the end, I lose myself.
490
00:25:43,206 --> 00:25:45,482
- Yeah, I was gonna say, The cost is you.
- Yeah, the cost is me.
491
00:25:45,517 --> 00:25:47,655
- The price you pay is losing you.
- Yep.
492
00:25:47,689 --> 00:25:52,172
I put everybody first
most of the time.
493
00:25:52,206 --> 00:25:55,413
I put whatever Kody needed.
It's like, "I can be
the peacemaker here.
494
00:25:55,448 --> 00:25:57,758
What do you need?
What does Janelle need?
495
00:25:57,793 --> 00:25:59,862
What does Meri need?
What do all the kids need?"
496
00:25:59,896 --> 00:26:02,241
It left me running on empty
and I asked him for help.
497
00:26:02,275 --> 00:26:04,241
I'm like, "I can't
do this anymore."
498
00:26:04,275 --> 00:26:06,620
He's like, "You're just
changing all the agreements
and everything."
499
00:26:06,655 --> 00:26:09,034
And I said, "I'm overwhelmed."
500
00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:11,551
- And he... He couldn't help.
- What were the agreements?
501
00:26:11,586 --> 00:26:13,931
Like family came first.
All the time.
100% of the time.
502
00:26:13,965 --> 00:26:18,034
So you were the...
The caregiver.
You were the organizer.
503
00:26:18,068 --> 00:26:20,310
- Yes, yes.
- You were the...
504
00:26:20,344 --> 00:26:21,793
I know that feels
uncomfortable for you
to hear.
505
00:26:21,827 --> 00:26:23,310
It is...
It is uncomfortable.
506
00:26:23,344 --> 00:26:25,379
But I mean, Janelle was very,
very, very forthcoming
507
00:26:25,413 --> 00:26:28,068
in saying that you were
the one that took care
of her kids.
508
00:26:28,103 --> 00:26:29,758
Yes, I was their constant.
There we go.
509
00:26:29,793 --> 00:26:32,758
Can we just say, what I like,
the term that is just
more comfortable?
510
00:26:32,793 --> 00:26:36,000
- Okay.
- I was just the constant.
511
00:26:36,034 --> 00:26:38,103
There had to be some
sort of hierarchy, right?
512
00:26:38,137 --> 00:26:39,896
- You know?
- Mmm-mmm. There's not usually.
513
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:41,068
- No?
- No.
514
00:26:41,103 --> 00:26:42,344
Not in our families.
515
00:26:42,379 --> 00:26:44,103
Not in our family.
516
00:26:44,137 --> 00:26:50,103
But then, how could
she feel so alone if there
is no hierarchy, you know?
517
00:26:50,137 --> 00:26:51,827
- See, I don't-- Yeah.
- When you feel castigated--
518
00:26:51,862 --> 00:26:53,689
- Yeah.
- ...and put in the basement, right?
519
00:26:53,724 --> 00:26:56,931
I feel like she's calling
that experience
with her perspective now.
520
00:26:57,689 --> 00:26:59,103
I mean, I feel like--
521
00:26:59,137 --> 00:27:03,241
So you can't validate that...
That she did experience--
522
00:27:03,275 --> 00:27:05,379
- I mean, I'm not saying she didn't.
- Right.
523
00:27:05,413 --> 00:27:07,275
She never said anything.
524
00:27:07,310 --> 00:27:09,310
She would complain maybe
to Kody.
525
00:27:09,344 --> 00:27:11,724
- Yeah.
- But she never said anything.
526
00:27:11,758 --> 00:27:15,862
I was surprised
at Christine talking about
being a basement wife.
527
00:27:15,896 --> 00:27:18,241
I... I didn't know
she felt that way.
528
00:27:18,275 --> 00:27:22,931
And I felt like, Janelle
and maybe even Meri,
weren't like...
529
00:27:22,965 --> 00:27:24,482
They were like,
"Well, we'll just deal
530
00:27:24,517 --> 00:27:26,517
with the dysfunction
or the things
that don't work."
531
00:27:26,551 --> 00:27:30,793
- And Christine was just like, "Oh, I'm not gonna do it."
- Mmm-hmm.
532
00:27:30,827 --> 00:27:35,000
But I know that it...
It, I think, unraveled it
for Kody.
533
00:27:35,034 --> 00:27:38,586
You know, this memory
of the past with the family,
534
00:27:38,620 --> 00:27:41,413
of this, like, happy time
in his head,
535
00:27:41,448 --> 00:27:45,689
was so hard for Christine.
536
00:27:45,724 --> 00:27:51,758
And he started
losing his sight of, like,
the big picture
537
00:27:51,793 --> 00:27:53,310
- that we talk about.
- Yeah.
538
00:27:53,344 --> 00:27:55,275
We don't operate separately,
you know.
539
00:27:55,758 --> 00:27:57,206
We are one family.
540
00:27:57,241 --> 00:27:58,793
Listen, I'm carrying
this load.
541
00:27:58,827 --> 00:28:00,931
And I've done it
all these years.
542
00:28:00,965 --> 00:28:04,586
When you come in my family,
this is a requirement
that I have.
543
00:28:04,620 --> 00:28:07,655
- Mmm-hmm.
- You know, is that we're going to be one family.
544
00:28:07,689 --> 00:28:10,965
That was like living
in a fresh hell with Meri
and Janelle.
545
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,379
And Christine lightened
that burden.
546
00:28:13,413 --> 00:28:16,000
For about 10 years,
she lightened that burden.
547
00:28:16,034 --> 00:28:17,620
- And it was a beautiful experience.
- Yeah.
548
00:28:17,655 --> 00:28:20,689
But then, Christine went,
"Wait, uh..."
549
00:28:20,724 --> 00:28:22,620
Christine shrugged.
550
00:28:22,655 --> 00:28:24,793
She's like, "I don't like
being in this role."
551
00:28:26,034 --> 00:28:28,068
And then, Robyn came
into the family.
552
00:28:28,103 --> 00:28:32,689
And the...
What Christine had shrugged
what Robyn was picking up.
553
00:28:34,586 --> 00:28:38,931
It has been a lot of years
of me sort of, and my kids
sort of going, you know,
554
00:28:38,965 --> 00:28:40,000
"Please, can we be accepted."
555
00:28:40,034 --> 00:28:45,379
And struggling
to feel fully there.
556
00:28:45,413 --> 00:28:49,206
For whatever reason,
there's that struggle
with Janelle and Christine.
557
00:28:49,241 --> 00:28:52,172
And then, there's also
a struggle with some
of their kids.
558
00:28:52,862 --> 00:28:53,931
How... How did that feel?
559
00:28:54,931 --> 00:28:57,862
Um, it's been really,
really tough for me.
560
00:29:00,586 --> 00:29:02,310
Yeah, it's been really hard.
561
00:29:04,206 --> 00:29:06,689
It's been really, um, painful.
562
00:29:09,620 --> 00:29:11,896
And that leads me
to my next conversation
with you,
563
00:29:11,931 --> 00:29:14,482
which is just joining a family
that was already
564
00:29:14,517 --> 00:29:17,103
kind of functioning
or not functioning.
565
00:29:17,137 --> 00:29:19,275
- So we want to take a look at this clip.
- Okay.
566
00:29:20,620 --> 00:29:25,000
I've had one of the kids
call me and ask me,
567
00:29:25,034 --> 00:29:29,793
"Can't we just relax
the rules about COVID?"
568
00:29:29,827 --> 00:29:32,034
You know, you gotta blame
somebody so...
569
00:29:33,482 --> 00:29:34,862
I'm an easy target.
570
00:29:34,896 --> 00:29:37,000
But I didn't sign up
for monogamy.
571
00:29:37,793 --> 00:29:39,758
I... It... It's just...
Ah, gosh.
572
00:29:39,793 --> 00:29:41,275
I'm so tired of this.
573
00:29:41,310 --> 00:29:43,068
I... I've been doing it
for years.
574
00:29:43,103 --> 00:29:47,103
From day one, sitting here,
begging to be a part
of this family.
575
00:29:47,137 --> 00:29:48,724
And I'm tired
of being questioned.
576
00:29:48,758 --> 00:29:50,551
I'm just tired of it.
577
00:29:50,586 --> 00:29:55,931
I need to let my kids know
that, um, we're not all gonna
be together for Thanksgiving.
578
00:30:04,793 --> 00:30:07,827
I don't want them
to feel sad and rejected.
579
00:30:07,862 --> 00:30:09,931
But I don't know
how they couldn't.
580
00:30:09,965 --> 00:30:12,172
That's how I feel.
581
00:30:12,206 --> 00:30:15,068
You know, and I'm trying
to be big about it and,
582
00:30:15,103 --> 00:30:19,103
uh, you know, kind of mature
about it but it's hard
for me, too.
583
00:30:24,965 --> 00:30:26,241
It's hard to watch, right?
584
00:30:26,275 --> 00:30:27,379
Mmm-hmm.
585
00:30:29,310 --> 00:30:31,206
Yeah.
586
00:30:31,241 --> 00:30:35,758
My littlest doesn't remember
the names of her siblings.
587
00:30:37,275 --> 00:30:39,517
Because it's... We're just
not seeing each other.
588
00:30:40,517 --> 00:30:41,793
And...
589
00:30:43,827 --> 00:30:46,724
My older kids, they're...
They don't know what to do
590
00:30:46,758 --> 00:30:49,310
with the decisions
that have been made.
591
00:30:49,344 --> 00:30:51,241
They... They don't know how
to compute it.
592
00:30:53,379 --> 00:30:55,931
They're like,
this is our family.
593
00:30:55,965 --> 00:30:58,517
You know, why are we choosing
not to be together?
594
00:30:59,034 --> 00:31:00,758
Yeah.
595
00:31:00,793 --> 00:31:04,551
I also saw you
in that clip saying, you know,
"I'm the easy target."
596
00:31:06,137 --> 00:31:07,896
Do you feel like
you're an easy target?
597
00:31:07,931 --> 00:31:09,448
Oh, yeah. Definitely.
598
00:31:10,862 --> 00:31:11,862
Why?
599
00:31:13,620 --> 00:31:15,931
I get along
with Kody.
600
00:31:15,965 --> 00:31:18,413
She came into this family,
cap in hand,
601
00:31:18,448 --> 00:31:21,827
um, telling her children
very specifically,
602
00:31:21,862 --> 00:31:26,517
"You will accept this family
and you'll treat these
other women as mothers,
603
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:30,310
and you will treat these
other kids as siblings."
604
00:31:30,344 --> 00:31:35,517
And, uh, for some reason,
the rules weren't required
from the rest of the family
605
00:31:35,551 --> 00:31:40,000
to accept her the same way
she was forced to accept us.
606
00:31:42,344 --> 00:31:45,551
Their marriage was done
by our church officials.
607
00:31:45,586 --> 00:31:47,862
And they haven't granted them
a divorce.
608
00:31:47,896 --> 00:31:50,862
For me to have someone else
tell me whether or not
my marriage is over,
609
00:31:50,896 --> 00:31:53,965
I'm like, no,
I don't really need that.
610
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,931
But I... I'm curious about
in your faith,
611
00:31:55,965 --> 00:31:57,758
she wouldn't go
into the afterlife with you?
612
00:31:57,793 --> 00:31:59,793
You know what?
You don't know the mind
of God.
613
00:32:10,620 --> 00:32:15,862
Does it hurt when
the other kids that call you
kind of blame you?
614
00:32:15,896 --> 00:32:17,413
Oh, yeah. I hate it.
615
00:32:17,448 --> 00:32:18,655
It makes me angry.
616
00:32:20,103 --> 00:32:22,379
It's insulting and, um...
617
00:32:24,103 --> 00:32:29,275
Uh, 'cause what I consider
what they're saying I'm doing,
uh, I think it's...
618
00:32:29,310 --> 00:32:32,896
I think any time a wife is...
619
00:32:34,724 --> 00:32:36,000
In a plural family,
620
00:32:36,034 --> 00:32:39,793
is controlling a husband
enough to affect
other relationships,
621
00:32:39,827 --> 00:32:42,620
I think she's a bad person.
622
00:32:42,655 --> 00:32:45,931
It's just... I'm tired of it
because it's been happening
for years.
623
00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:48,620
- Mmm.
- I would help any one of those kids
624
00:32:48,655 --> 00:32:51,379
have a conversation
with their dad, try to make it
safe for them.
625
00:32:51,413 --> 00:32:54,034
Mmm-hmm.
But how about it being safe
for you?
626
00:33:16,896 --> 00:33:18,103
Gosh.
627
00:33:21,655 --> 00:33:23,827
I don't think I've ever cried
so much in an interview.
628
00:33:29,517 --> 00:33:32,620
I can't say that it's been
like that all the time.
629
00:33:32,655 --> 00:33:37,655
But there's been a lot
of unsafe spaces, yeah.
630
00:33:40,206 --> 00:33:41,551
I just want...
631
00:33:49,724 --> 00:33:51,689
I just want people
to see me as who I am.
632
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,793
I want them
to see that I love
this family.
633
00:33:58,965 --> 00:34:00,793
- That I'm committed to them.
- Mmm.
634
00:34:01,586 --> 00:34:02,965
That'd I do anything for them.
635
00:34:03,655 --> 00:34:04,896
That I love them.
636
00:34:05,896 --> 00:34:06,862
And...
637
00:34:08,034 --> 00:34:09,482
...that I want
the relationship.
638
00:34:14,965 --> 00:34:18,827
Kody's been very clear
that sometimes
the other sister wives
639
00:34:18,862 --> 00:34:21,931
haven't been so accepting
of Robin and her kids.
640
00:34:21,965 --> 00:34:23,724
I think that at the beginning
it was really hard.
641
00:34:23,758 --> 00:34:26,965
Blending families together
is really difficult.
642
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,310
And there were a lot
of frustrations on...
643
00:34:29,344 --> 00:34:32,137
- And hurt feelings on both sides of it.
- Mmm-mmm.
644
00:34:32,172 --> 00:34:34,310
I mean, we all came out
of this scarred.
645
00:34:34,344 --> 00:34:35,931
All of us did.
646
00:34:35,965 --> 00:34:39,517
Uh, but, no,
I never had any intention
to alienate Robyn
647
00:34:39,551 --> 00:34:41,620
- or her kids, ever.
- But why does he feel that way?
648
00:34:43,758 --> 00:34:45,275
And there's this sort
of pecking order.
649
00:34:45,310 --> 00:34:48,034
It's this... Like, Meri
was really hard on Janelle
650
00:34:48,068 --> 00:34:50,241
and then, Janelle and Meri
were hard on Christine.
651
00:34:50,275 --> 00:34:54,103
And then, Janelle and Meri
and Christine were hard
on Robyn.
652
00:34:54,137 --> 00:34:56,586
And Robyn's like going,
"Well, I didn't do this
to you.
653
00:34:56,620 --> 00:34:58,586
I didn't do this.
Why are you this way?"
654
00:34:58,620 --> 00:35:00,620
- Being mean to me.
- And frankly,
655
00:35:00,655 --> 00:35:05,103
other than Meri, I'm not sure
that the others would ever
want to be her friend.
656
00:35:05,137 --> 00:35:09,103
You know, 'cause I had
a conversation with Janelle
recently were I said,
657
00:35:09,137 --> 00:35:11,689
"Well, hey, let's...
Let's, um...
658
00:35:13,724 --> 00:35:15,655
Let's figure this out,
you know.
659
00:35:15,689 --> 00:35:17,827
I want the good
sister wife relationship.
660
00:35:17,862 --> 00:35:19,206
I know they exist."
661
00:35:19,241 --> 00:35:21,758
And she... She kind of said,
662
00:35:21,793 --> 00:35:24,448
"Well, you know, I...
I'll have to think
about that."
663
00:35:25,586 --> 00:35:28,551
Yep, there is some history
there in the past that...
664
00:35:28,586 --> 00:35:31,620
- I... I mean, my desire's there.
- Yeah.
665
00:35:31,655 --> 00:35:35,000
But I'm kind of like, ugh,
do I want to do this again?
666
00:35:35,034 --> 00:35:36,931
- Do you know what I mean? So...
- Yeah.
667
00:35:36,965 --> 00:35:38,344
But it's true,
like, I felt like,
668
00:35:38,379 --> 00:35:40,034
um, in this particular
conversation,
669
00:35:40,068 --> 00:35:42,206
I felt like I was kind
of being put on the spot.
670
00:35:42,241 --> 00:35:44,034
And I'm like,
I don't know, I don't know.
671
00:35:44,068 --> 00:35:45,103
- You know?
- Yeah.
672
00:35:45,137 --> 00:35:46,241
But what do you want?
673
00:35:46,275 --> 00:35:47,620
- Do you want to have a relationship with her--
- I--
674
00:35:47,655 --> 00:35:49,137
...that's a little bit deeper?
675
00:35:49,172 --> 00:35:51,862
Maybe a... A relationship
that you have with Christine?
676
00:35:52,655 --> 00:35:53,758
Yes, I think so.
677
00:35:53,793 --> 00:35:55,413
But I don't know...
678
00:35:56,827 --> 00:35:57,862
Yeah, I just don't know.
679
00:35:57,896 --> 00:35:59,551
Like, I don't know how to...
680
00:35:59,586 --> 00:36:02,241
'Cause Christine and I,
we're... Like, it was just
kind of one of those things
681
00:36:02,275 --> 00:36:04,137
that happened 'cause
we were raising kids together.
682
00:36:05,793 --> 00:36:10,448
I kind of feel like you really
are the only one that's having
683
00:36:10,482 --> 00:36:12,655
a fully-functioning
relationship with Kody.
684
00:36:13,241 --> 00:36:14,206
And...
685
00:36:16,241 --> 00:36:17,517
...that must...
686
00:36:18,793 --> 00:36:20,206
...bother them.
687
00:36:21,551 --> 00:36:22,724
It makes me angry.
688
00:36:32,620 --> 00:36:34,413
Ah, I'm sorry.
689
00:36:35,448 --> 00:36:36,827
Oh,
690
00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:37,896
Sorry.
691
00:36:46,827 --> 00:36:50,000
Gosh, how am I gonna get
through this interview?
692
00:36:51,310 --> 00:36:52,482
I can't.
693
00:36:58,827 --> 00:37:00,034
Why does that make you
so angry?
694
00:37:00,068 --> 00:37:02,103
You said, "Gosh, this makes me
so angry."
695
00:37:04,241 --> 00:37:06,862
I just don't know
why they're not figuring
this stuff out.
696
00:37:08,344 --> 00:37:11,689
And talking and finding...
697
00:37:25,310 --> 00:37:27,413
Finding their compromise
and finding...
698
00:37:27,448 --> 00:37:31,206
Finding things
that they...
699
00:37:31,241 --> 00:37:34,793
Finding the things
that they love about
each other and...
700
00:37:40,551 --> 00:37:41,965
I can't fix it for him.
701
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,517
I can try.
I can try to persuade.
702
00:37:44,551 --> 00:37:45,896
I can try to influence.
703
00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:48,068
I can... I can beg.
704
00:37:48,103 --> 00:37:49,413
I can, um...
705
00:37:52,862 --> 00:37:54,379
That's a lot of heavy lifting.
706
00:37:58,551 --> 00:37:59,724
It's my family.
707
00:38:04,068 --> 00:38:05,517
Gosh.
708
00:38:05,551 --> 00:38:06,793
No, you're doing great.
709
00:38:06,827 --> 00:38:09,034
And I know
this is a difficult time
for you and your family.
710
00:38:14,551 --> 00:38:16,896
And I'm sorry, but...
711
00:38:19,103 --> 00:38:21,379
Having been through
a divorce yourself,
712
00:38:21,413 --> 00:38:24,793
can you tell me how Christine
is feeling?
713
00:38:24,827 --> 00:38:28,379
And can you relate to her
at this moment?
714
00:38:30,137 --> 00:38:32,379
I was still trying when...
715
00:38:33,655 --> 00:38:36,241
...it was when I was
where she's at.
716
00:38:38,965 --> 00:38:40,793
I love Christine and...
717
00:38:44,172 --> 00:38:48,000
I have always wanted her
and Kody's relationship
to be strong.
718
00:38:48,034 --> 00:38:49,000
Always.
719
00:38:51,034 --> 00:38:52,586
Um...
720
00:38:53,965 --> 00:38:55,689
I understand
that...
721
00:39:00,206 --> 00:39:03,586
You know, she's feeling
like she doesn't have
other choices
722
00:39:03,620 --> 00:39:08,551
but I wish that she
had decided to keep trying.
723
00:39:10,172 --> 00:39:14,103
Where are we at
with Kody and Christine?
724
00:39:17,137 --> 00:39:18,655
Well, Christine says
they're divorced.
725
00:39:24,379 --> 00:39:25,206
And...
726
00:39:26,655 --> 00:39:28,379
...technically, in my head,
they're not.
727
00:39:28,413 --> 00:39:30,310
But, you know...
728
00:39:32,517 --> 00:39:36,344
Because their marriage was
done by our church officials.
729
00:39:37,896 --> 00:39:39,482
And they haven't granted them
a divorce.
730
00:39:40,034 --> 00:39:42,793
But I don't know.
731
00:39:42,827 --> 00:39:46,137
In our church,
polygamous women can leave
they're not trapped.
732
00:39:46,172 --> 00:39:47,827
- Mmm-hmm.
- They can leave if they want to leave.
733
00:39:47,862 --> 00:39:50,965
And if it's not working,
and they have to go through
the proper channels and stuff.
734
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,827
But then they can get
a release and then, they stay.
735
00:39:52,862 --> 00:39:55,379
Well, I haven't been
a member of that church
for a long time.
736
00:39:55,413 --> 00:39:58,206
- Mmm-hmm.
- And I left a long time ago.
737
00:39:58,241 --> 00:40:01,379
And I just have no interest
in the church.
738
00:40:01,413 --> 00:40:03,758
So to me,
the ecclesiastical authorities
739
00:40:03,793 --> 00:40:05,241
in that church,
I don't really care.
740
00:40:05,275 --> 00:40:07,482
- Yeah.
- As far as a religious ceiling,
741
00:40:07,517 --> 00:40:10,586
I just think that God's fine
if I just want to be happy.
742
00:40:11,965 --> 00:40:14,172
And so for me
to have, like, uh...
743
00:40:14,206 --> 00:40:16,413
Someone else
tell me whether or not
my marriage is over,
744
00:40:16,448 --> 00:40:20,103
I'm like, no,
I don't really need that.
745
00:40:20,137 --> 00:40:22,689
But I... I'm curious about
in your faith,
746
00:40:22,724 --> 00:40:24,827
- is she always married to you?
- She doesn't believe it, no.
747
00:40:24,862 --> 00:40:28,172
No, she doesn't believe it
and I... I'm comfortable
with where she's at with it.
748
00:40:28,206 --> 00:40:31,137
- She doesn't believe it.
- So she wouldn't go into the afterlife with you?
749
00:40:31,689 --> 00:40:33,000
- Because...
- Uh.
750
00:40:34,068 --> 00:40:37,758
Well, see, God has a way
of sorting things out.
751
00:40:37,793 --> 00:40:39,862
My religion says, "Uh-uh-uh!"
752
00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:41,448
That's a dogma
of the religion.
753
00:40:41,482 --> 00:40:43,931
And I'm going, you know what?
You don't know the mind
of God.
754
00:40:43,965 --> 00:40:47,000
- Mmm-hmm.
- And right now, it's just in God's hands
755
00:40:47,034 --> 00:40:48,724
and I'm not worried about it.
756
00:40:48,758 --> 00:40:50,413
God sorts those things out.
757
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:53,344
- Mmm-hmm.
- So she... She doesn't believe in the religion.
758
00:40:53,379 --> 00:40:55,482
She's not part of the faith
any more.
759
00:40:55,517 --> 00:40:59,172
And she's free from
that yoke of bondage,
if you will.
760
00:41:00,448 --> 00:41:03,724
Well, I think...
I think Robin feels very sad.
761
00:41:03,758 --> 00:41:05,137
I know, she's very sweet.
762
00:41:05,172 --> 00:41:06,965
I mean, it's...
763
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,689
It's not fun
breaking people's hearts.
764
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,620
I mean, at my core,
I just want people to be happy
765
00:41:13,655 --> 00:41:15,655
and I just want people
to feel loved.
766
00:41:15,689 --> 00:41:17,724
But I knew that I was making
a decision that would
break hearts.
767
00:41:18,344 --> 00:41:20,241
And it tore me apart.
768
00:41:20,275 --> 00:41:21,896
And it was super, super sad.
769
00:41:23,862 --> 00:41:25,310
So where are you and Kody
at right now?
770
00:41:25,965 --> 00:41:27,620
Kody and I are divorced.
771
00:41:27,655 --> 00:41:28,689
We're completely separate.
772
00:41:30,068 --> 00:41:33,068
Next time,
on Sister Wives: One on One.
773
00:41:33,103 --> 00:41:35,620
- Are you questioning your own polygamy right now?
- Oh, hell, yes.
774
00:41:35,655 --> 00:41:36,586
Yes.
775
00:41:36,620 --> 00:41:38,206
Okay, do I still want
to do this?
776
00:41:38,241 --> 00:41:40,310
If he doesn't love
plural marriage,
what does he do?
777
00:41:40,344 --> 00:41:41,965
And we've seen that
in our culture.
778
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:45,896
If he wants to give up,
he can give up.
779
00:41:45,931 --> 00:41:47,896
I have been moved out
of my house.
780
00:41:47,931 --> 00:41:50,379
What did I do so wrong?
781
00:41:50,413 --> 00:41:54,034
I've actually never seen
her side of this.
782
00:41:54,068 --> 00:41:57,482
So you can have
an intimate relationship
with somebody else.
783
00:41:57,517 --> 00:41:59,448
But I get nothing.
784
00:41:59,482 --> 00:42:01,379
What a waste.
785
00:42:01,413 --> 00:42:05,758
I don't see why
giving up is an option when
you haven't actually tried.
786
00:42:05,793 --> 00:42:10,206
You're pulling apart something
that has been for 25 years.
787
00:42:10,241 --> 00:42:11,862
It's like who are you
after that?
788
00:42:11,896 --> 00:42:14,206
I mean, we have really
messed this up.
789
00:42:14,241 --> 00:42:16,482
This call to be better
than we are.
790
00:42:16,517 --> 00:42:20,758
I'm changing the whole dynamic
of a huge family.
791
00:42:20,793 --> 00:42:23,724
Is it just selfish?
Is that what this is?
792
00:42:23,758 --> 00:42:25,827
I know you want
to set the record straight.
793
00:42:25,862 --> 00:42:27,137
You've got your version
of the story.
794
00:42:27,172 --> 00:42:29,379
Christine has hers.
795
00:42:29,413 --> 00:42:30,620
There's a lot to unpack
with that.
796
00:42:31,965 --> 00:42:33,206
More than I want to.