1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:02,868 [narrator] Previously on Sister Wives... 2 00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:05,904 Here we are, having Thanksgiving! 3 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,439 Alone. 4 00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:11,810 [Kody] You know, the experience that I've had during COVID 5 00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,779 has been such a strain on the family. 6 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:17,883 To our family, to the current apocalypse, 7 00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:20,452 which has made us appreciate family more. 8 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:23,155 The contrast made me aware 9 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:26,358 of those who are loyal to me, 10 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,260 and those who are not. 11 00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:33,799 [Christine] Now we've got the rules in order to get back together, 12 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,835 and I really feel like we have to make a choice - 13 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:40,939 do we see Kody, or do we do it - everything else. 14 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:45,044 Basically then, Kody, I don't think it's going to ever work for us all to get together. 15 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:46,845 [Robyn] Here it is, he's written it down. 16 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,815 Wipe off your packages. Clean your groceries. 17 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:52,985 You know, whatever it is so we can see each other. 18 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:57,322 My opinion is, that I think some of this is way over-the-top, 19 00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:59,024 but I'll do it for Christmas. 20 00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:02,995 It's a sad reality for me, about where I'm at in some of my marriages. 21 00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:05,998 Dad wants to play stupid games, we can play along. 22 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,567 It's been eight months since I've been able to hang out 23 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,335 with my dad, of course I'm going to rebel a little. 24 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,138 Like, I'm tired of it. I'm freaking tired of it. 25 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,703 We're getting very close to Christmas, and the whole family's been 26 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,939 you know, sort of hashing out the COVID protocols 27 00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:49,975 so that we can actually spend time at Christmas 28 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:53,145 without having to socially distance from each other. 29 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:56,448 Okay. You guys want to grab these tools here? 30 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,750 Or wait. I guess we'll use those over here. 31 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,987 [Kody] Because Garrison and Gabriel, for a very long time, 32 00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:05,724 have been resistant to the COVID protocols that were 33 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,793 just so that I could be in Janelle's house, 34 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:11,063 I just need to get them on the same page with me, so 35 00:02:11,065 --> 00:02:12,898 I've invited them to come help me 36 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:16,368 peel some logs out on the property. 37 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,738 [Kody] It's a lot of wood, and if we can salvage it, 38 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:23,976 it's better than firewood, you know. It makes it so we can build something with it. 39 00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:32,518 [Kody] We're going to have to roll it over 40 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,186 in order to get the other side. 41 00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:38,123 [Gabriel] Hey Dad, what are we doing for Christmas? 42 00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:40,592 [Kody sighs] 43 00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:43,195 So we're trying to limit exposure, 44 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,697 -we're trying to bring the exposure down -Yeah, that's why... 45 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,032 That's why we're quarantining. 46 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,801 [Kody] The original agreement amongst me and the moms 47 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:53,405 was that I would be the only one travelling from house to house, right? 48 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,944 [Gabriel] I think with regards to like, social distancing and stuff, 49 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:02,915 Dad kind of expects every other person in the family 50 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,683 to just drop what they're doing, 51 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:08,687 and to just allow him to mosey wherever he wants. 52 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,923 And I don't think any of us are really down for that. 53 00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:14,059 We're all just ignoring it, and having a life anyway. 54 00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:18,864 The only holiday we've got together is Christmas. 55 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:22,568 The plan is, when Hunter gets here, we start our quarantine. 56 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:26,038 Okay. So, do you guys understand what quarantine means though? 57 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,007 [Gabriel] Every single parent is telling me a different thing. 58 00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:34,079 - That's what it feels like. - That should not be the case. 59 00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:37,082 Because I gave all the moms a slip of paper. 60 00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,116 -Let me- -You gotta talk to them. 61 00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,018 You can't give them a slip of paper. 62 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:42,287 Dad keeps telling me that they 63 00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:47,926 got together and formulated an exact plan for Christmas. 64 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,729 And it just doesn't feel like they did. 65 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,731 Everyone's got their own thing that they're doing, 66 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,900 and I just don't know what's really going on. 67 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,536 You got rules and regulations for work, 68 00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,705 why can't we have that for a family staying healthy? 69 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,240 Because we're a family! 70 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,976 Why don't we just verbalize it and trust each other? 71 00:04:03,978 --> 00:04:05,744 Oh, therein lies the problem. 72 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:06,978 Right there. 73 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:10,015 When we get together for Christmas, I'm like 89% sure that 74 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:13,218 there's going to be a fight about all the COVID [bleep] that's been going on. 75 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:15,487 The first time we're together, we're going to want to discuss 76 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:18,023 what we haven't been able to discuss for the past eight months. 77 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,791 - And that is COVID. - No no no no, that's a phone call. 78 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:23,662 You call every one of your siblings and you get all that griping out of your system. 79 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,164 We're not discussing COVID over Christmas. 80 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:30,569 I think Dad can say what he wants, but I think 81 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,071 COVID's going to be discussed over Christmas. 82 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:37,142 Oh, I know they want to. They want to pick a fight with everybody. 83 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:42,614 If this Christmas doesn't play out really well, 84 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,484 I'm not having Christmas as a family anymore after this. 85 00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:50,522 But what I am asking you to do is abide by the rules 86 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,758 of like, literally almost quarantine. 87 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,794 - Which we've agreed to. - And I know you've got to go to work. 88 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,997 But, I mean, a mom goes and gets a massage? 89 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,432 That's not going to work. 90 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,934 Christine was right in the middle of COVID, 91 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,504 she was supposed to be quarantining, I wanted to see the kids, 92 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,873 and she went and got a massage. 93 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:12,511 It was almost like a psychological circumvention of my ability to go see the kids. 94 00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:22,120 Garrison, I- 95 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,156 -Gabriel- -Zap. That's all I'm hearing. 96 00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,525 [sighs] Okay. I might have passed the buck. 97 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,127 I should have explained this better to you in the very beginning. 98 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,196 So let me give you the big picture then. 99 00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:33,732 If mom gets sick, 100 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,400 - who's going to take care of her? - Us. 101 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,637 Uh, no. You both are busy with school. 102 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:41,506 [Gabriel] Nope. I don't have any in-person classes anymore. 103 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:46,044 If Mom got sick, I'd freaking quit my job to help her. 104 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:49,081 Well normally It'd be me okay, that wasn't the right answer. 105 00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:51,283 This is such bull [bleep]. 106 00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:54,052 He's missing the point - 107 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,321 Let's avoid getting Mom sick. 108 00:05:57,590 --> 00:06:00,892 It would primarily be 109 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:04,629 the people who are in her house right now, taking care of her. 110 00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,832 And that's not Dad. 111 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:09,701 But if I get-I go take care of her and I get sick, 112 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,970 and then one of the other moms gets sick, 113 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:15,006 then she doesn't have somebody helping with her kids. 114 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:16,975 - Okay? - That's fair. 115 00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,912 Listen, I have a much bigger picture than 116 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,748 anybody else in this family to worry about. 117 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,884 Listen, the ignorance led us to blame Robyn. 118 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,887 - We were blaming Robyn. - We were literally blaming Robyn for this. 119 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,188 Because we thought Robyn was in your ear telling you 120 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:32,491 - to stay away from everyone. - Because she's the obedient wife! 121 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:40,298 Whatever poison put that in their mind, 122 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,368 I don't know if it's polygamy poison, 123 00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:45,971 I don't know if it's their mother 124 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,973 poisoning them. Because frankly, 125 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:52,677 that kind of attitude is [bleep] up. 126 00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:55,013 I don't know why they think she's the one to blame, 127 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:58,049 just because she's the one keeping the rules. 128 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,454 [Kody] They think it's all about Robyn. 129 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,056 Guess what it's really about. 130 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,225 It's about them not giving a [bleep] 131 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,027 About everybody else. 132 00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:12,030 Robyn and all of her kids 133 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:15,734 have been keeping the rules, the COVID protocols. 134 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,036 Christine has been travelling, 135 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,405 and these two have been socializing. 136 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,574 But her kids are prisoners. 137 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,309 Now they're all compliant. 138 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,745 -They've been, you know, doing their- -They've been teammates. 139 00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,113 And that's what we want. 140 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:31,116 We've been just trying to operate as a family here. 141 00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:37,589 We assumed it was Robyn this whole time, but 142 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:42,828 we're starting to pit ourselves against Dad, because it's on Dad. 143 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:47,299 Who is making up these rules, or lacking communication, other than Dad? 144 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,000 It is all him. 145 00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,069 [Kody] Keep going, Gabe. 146 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,038 - Roll in, roll in, okay. - Alright, I got to get going. 147 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,106 Alright, thanks Garrison. 148 00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:56,207 [Gabriel] I'm tired of arguing. 149 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:59,211 We'll just agree on it, and we'll play this game. 150 00:07:59,213 --> 00:08:02,247 We'll quarantine. You can trust us if you want, 151 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:05,050 if not - that's your problem to figure out. 152 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,118 I'm working full-time, 153 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,488 I've got school, I've got to get going. 154 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,493 [Kody] What's important about having Garrison here 155 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:15,994 was that he committed, 156 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,864 in every way, that he was going to be compliant 157 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,665 so we can get together for Christmas. 158 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,100 - Thanks for helping, Gabe. - Yeah. 159 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:25,637 Thanks for coming. So, now that you guys get it- 160 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:30,008 Ah, I can't believe it. I am so sorry. But I... 161 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,244 Dad, you don't even need to apologize, because 162 00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:34,746 you thought communication was getting passed down. 163 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,081 I'll be honest with you. 164 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,116 You really want to know the truth? 165 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,419 I think it's been hard, really hard, 166 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:44,890 - for Christine. - Christine, as far as our family goes, 167 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:48,593 not as a diss to any of the other moms, is our primary caregiver. 168 00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:51,863 - What do you mean? - From our youngest age, 169 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,498 Christine has been the one to provide for 170 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,734 seven kids at a time, all the time. 171 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,936 It hasn't been that way since we moved to Las Vegas. 172 00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,272 I understand, but people have been always coming over. 173 00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:02,440 I used to go visit her two times a week. 174 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,876 And so, what are you... 175 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:08,079 -So, Christine has- -I just think that I can understand why this would have 176 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,116 a, like, she would have a harder time with this than the other moms. 177 00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,986 I love Janelle's kids. Janelle worked a lot. 178 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,822 And I just kind of raised them all as a bunch. 179 00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,425 It has been really hard not having them over all the time. 180 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,996 [Kody] Okay, now roll this way. 181 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,898 During COVID, Kody put a restriction 182 00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:30,201 that he was the only one that was supposed to go from house to house when COVID hit. 183 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:33,238 Janelle and I just thought, 'You know what, we just can't do this anymore, 184 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,506 our kids need to get together'. 185 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:39,477 Because I always had to pick between Janelle and her kids, 186 00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,279 or just Kody. 187 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,515 Can you steady it there, just for a second? 188 00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,350 [Janelle] Christine and I interact a lot. 189 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:48,053 Our kids interact a lot. We've all been very careful. 190 00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:51,523 We're following all the rules. Like, we're quarantining, 191 00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:53,892 and if we've both been home for a couple of weeks, 192 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,494 and the kids want to get together, then we go somewhere 193 00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,064 and especially if it's outdoors, and we get together. 194 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,199 We follow the CDC Guidelines. 195 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,201 They're not enough for Kody. 196 00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:06,137 Gosh, come on. 197 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,707 [grunting] Got it. 198 00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:13,678 [Kody] Some of the family has come together in a little clique, 199 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,983 that has literally excluded some of the other family members in the family. 200 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:21,920 Like, the clique-iness, the bullying, the exclusion, and stuff like that, 201 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,489 Gabriel sees it one way. I see it negatively. 202 00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:27,058 It's just, we're not talking about it like we are right here. 203 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,493 - Okay. Gabe. - Like, actually. 204 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,929 This is the first time we've sat down in eight months 205 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:34,099 and talked about why we're doing what we're doing, you and me. 206 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,301 Not me and Mom. 207 00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,536 - Or, you me and the family. - Gabe, I thought I had called you before and 208 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,038 told you why I was doing this. 209 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,041 No, you called me - and I really like it, I like when 210 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,943 you call me, because I finally get to talk to you. 211 00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:47,679 And I talked to you for a little bit, we talk about 212 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,848 what our interests are, 213 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:53,051 and what we think about the current political climate, and a little bit about COVID, 214 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,353 but we never discussed it like this, 215 00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,158 - Why I was away? - Yeah, we never. Never. 216 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,508 And that - that was literally my only issue. 217 00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,379 Like, I'm your teammate in this. 218 00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:28,019 We're not doing enough to keep us all together. 219 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:31,322 Dad is right, that we need a little bit of coherence, 220 00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,926 but I don't think that Dad's way of... 221 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:39,064 gaining that coherence is healthy in a family dynamic. 222 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,167 [Kody] I'm angry. 223 00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:45,070 And I should be reinforcing my love for him. 224 00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:49,007 The problem is, is I'm so pissed off. 225 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,743 That he's sitting here - as an adult - 226 00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:53,111 not being accountable, 227 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,879 and coming at me at all these angles, 228 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,148 it's just made me defensive. 229 00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:03,254 There's a lot of frustrations going around. 230 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:07,926 In relation to COVID, but also in relation to 231 00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,694 you know, our family dynamic 232 00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:12,997 and how things are not going smoothly for us right now. 233 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,002 [Kody] Gabriel, the real issue here is you had to 234 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:21,239 choose between me coming over or seeing your girlfriend. 235 00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:23,208 Why? 236 00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:27,846 I think the problem here, is whether I'm being respected in my home or not. 237 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,447 I wanna take some responsibility here. 238 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,217 - Okay. - If I had been [sighs] [bleep] 239 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:35,153 Gabe, listen, why are you upset? 240 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,490 Are we done? 241 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:48,500 [Gabriel] I feel like everyone in my family is so focused on being right, or doing right, 242 00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:51,669 that nobody is willing to just kind of take a step back, 243 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:55,807 and say, "This is ruining our family". 244 00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:59,511 Do you want to put the gloves back on and give it a lift, and I'll give it a shove? 245 00:12:59,513 --> 00:13:01,513 [Kody] So while I'm talking to Gabriel here, 246 00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:03,281 I'm not laying down the law. 247 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:07,218 Because I can't get the support of Janelle to lay down the law. 248 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,653 I-It's weird. 249 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:11,956 In the time that COVID has been going on, 250 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:15,960 I've felt more and more and more like that was Janelle's house 251 00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:18,129 and it wasn't my house. 252 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,498 And the irony of this situation, 253 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,901 which is not good for relationships, 254 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:26,938 is that Robyn's house, as I've been there more, 255 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:31,176 has made me feel like that's my house, and my rules, 256 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:33,745 and my family. 257 00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:34,813 [Kody] Okay, now roll this way. 258 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,348 Makes me mad at myself, 259 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:42,487 all these years, that I haven't been what I would call more 'patriarchal'. 260 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,522 More in charge. 261 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:50,795 My kids look forward to their dad being home, my kids adore their dad. 262 00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,864 This has all been very hard for them, 263 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,699 that he's all of a sudden being so... 264 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,968 dictatorial about his rules. 265 00:13:56,970 --> 00:14:00,271 The only guideline I got at the very beginning was 266 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:03,575 "Maybe it's not a good idea to hang out with friends anymore, but your girlfriend is okay." 267 00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:05,510 Did I say that? 268 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:09,180 That's what I heard. I heard, "Your girlfriend is okay because she's isolated." 269 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,716 Gabriel, but I- 270 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,551 And I understand, you're going to come around and say, 271 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:16,087 - "You don't know what Payton's doing." - Right. 272 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,659 [Janelle] Gabriel met a girl, her name is Payton, 273 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:27,832 I like her, she's been around a lot, and Gabriel seems to be happy. 274 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:32,003 My Dad doesn't even know what my girlfriend looks like, 275 00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:34,672 how's she, or what's she like. 276 00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:37,942 He's never talked to her, never interacted with her, 277 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,510 I think it's pretty revealing to how, 278 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:43,848 how COVID has kind of screwed over the family. 279 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:46,551 I can't, I can't take Payton out of the equation. 280 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,486 Okay, I understand that, Gabe. 281 00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:53,424 I mean, Gabriel the real issue here is you had to choose 282 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:56,995 between me coming over or seeing your girlfriend. 283 00:14:58,030 --> 00:14:59,597 Why? 284 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,232 Why was I made to make that decision? 285 00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:12,677 It's a decision that all of us have had to make. 286 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:16,147 I've had to be away from Mom, I've had to be away from... 287 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,116 - Christine and her kids. - Why are you doing that? 288 00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:19,951 Why? 289 00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:24,088 You have to be able to ask Payton if she understands 290 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:27,091 the big picture the way I understand the big picture. 291 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,059 She does. 292 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,028 [Gabriel] She's on your level of COVID. 293 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,930 She's worried about it. 294 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,998 I've done two-week quarantines from Payton. 295 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,234 - Why? - So I could see you! 296 00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:38,736 So I could come over to Mom's house. 297 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,872 - When did-I don't remember you doing that. - During the summer. 298 00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:42,774 - Oh. - She's being really careful. 299 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,410 I didn't, I had no idea that she... [sighs] 300 00:15:47,579 --> 00:15:49,681 You gotta understand, I've been told by a lot of people 301 00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:53,117 that they were being careful when I know that they weren't. 302 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:56,154 And I can understand that. You're being lied to, I can understand that. 303 00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:59,157 I think the problem here, 304 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:03,127 honestly, is whether I'm being respected in my home or not. 305 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,998 I'll tell you something that Robyn has done 306 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,934 from the very beginning of coming into our family. 307 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,170 She sat her children down, 308 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,073 and she said, "We're going into this family, 309 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,675 you will be kind to this family, 310 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,510 you will accept this family, 311 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,013 and you will respect the parents, 312 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:25,917 and you will respect Kody as your father. 313 00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:29,454 I have other households who have never established those rules. 314 00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:34,058 I used to be super, like, 315 00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:37,895 "Anything you want, anything you say whatever you want," 316 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,197 I used to be that wife. 317 00:16:40,866 --> 00:16:42,633 And I'm not anymore. 318 00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,902 I'm head of my house. I am. 319 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,805 I'm the one who's present, I'm the one who's around. 320 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,274 It's hard for the girls to respect their dad, 321 00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:53,177 when they see he has favorites. 322 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:56,381 And they... 323 00:16:57,549 --> 00:17:01,052 They struggle with how apparent it is 324 00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:04,389 that he's more comfortable at some houses than others. 325 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,494 At this point, we have one group of the family who is 326 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:12,196 willing to risk getting COVID so that we can be together as a family. 327 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,698 And we have one group of the family that is not. 328 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,500 Willing to risk getting COVID? 329 00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:18,803 Yeah, Mom, if you asked her, I'd bet you 100% that Mom would be like, 330 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,239 "Yeah, I would risk getting COVID so that 331 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,008 the whole family could be together and we could hug each other again." 332 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:30,114 I would do it. Garrison would do it. We're young. 333 00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:31,616 And Mom's different. And, 334 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:34,052 Mom is literally-Mom is overweight and old 335 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,120 and she would probably still say yes. 336 00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:41,092 This is just fundamentally a problem in plural marriage. 337 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,861 I mean, we literally have two households behaving very different. 338 00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:46,831 I'm the head of one of them. 339 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:50,301 - So you understand that we have different values about... - Yeah, and... 340 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,504 - It's perspective. - No it's not! 341 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:57,508 It's your mother made choices, and Christine made choices. 342 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,877 -Mom- -And that caused the families to be separated. 343 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,513 Basically it's a blame game. 344 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,116 Yes, and your mother is the Teflon Queen. 345 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,754 It bounces off of her, onto everybody else. 346 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:13,124 "Oh, I'm going to make so many sacrifices for everybody else" 347 00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:16,227 -Yeah, I- -I'm sorry Gabe, but she screwed me this summer. 348 00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:20,665 - Dad. - She screwed me, and she screwed you. 349 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:23,101 And then every time I bring up the rules, 350 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,502 she would walk out of the meeting. 351 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:27,972 I was vulnerable with you. I revealed my emotions. 352 00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:30,875 You can reveal yours without getting angry. 353 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,977 - No, but I-- Listen. - I can understand that your emotion is anger. 354 00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,613 I don't wanna throw your mom under the bus, 355 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,115 but Christine and Mom both made choices 356 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:39,851 all summer long to continue vacationing. 357 00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:42,153 Or to continue whatever they were doing. 358 00:18:42,921 --> 00:18:45,690 I think Gabriel is just trying so hard 359 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:48,793 to get his Dad to have a relationship with him again. 360 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,995 I honestly think it's sad that Kody is not 361 00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:53,231 honoring the fact that Janelle is trying. 362 00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:55,967 Janelle doesn't deserve that. 363 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,369 She's actually super loyal to Kody. 364 00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,371 - All the blame has come to me, hasn't it? - Yeah, it has. 365 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,805 Every bit of it. 366 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,642 You guys were blaming Robyn, because Robyn-- was she defending me? 367 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:08,279 No, we were blaming Robyn because you were spending most time with Robyn. 368 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,748 - That's why. - That's because the other wives were choosing to travel. 369 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:11,983 It's cause we were jealous. 370 00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,919 It's on Janelle and Christine. 371 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:18,589 And the narrative that they've created with their kids 372 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,492 is "Oh, Dad is like this". 373 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,228 "Dad doesn't care about us. Dad doesn't care about you." 374 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,963 And now that we're on the same page, 375 00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:28,199 I can move Mom to be on your team. 376 00:19:30,135 --> 00:19:32,236 I can move Christine to be on your team. 377 00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:33,671 - [Kody laughs] - I can say, "Hey, don't go to 378 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:36,007 - Mexico because I'll miss you. - Listen, Gabriel, 379 00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:40,144 - you're not the head of this family, okay? - I understand that. 380 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:43,147 -And I'm not s- -I should have been listened to from the beginning. 381 00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:47,285 And they made the choices that separated the family. Not me. 382 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,956 Mom made those choices for me and Garr. 383 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,791 -You guys have- -But at the same time, 384 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:54,759 Gabriel, don't just blame Mom. 385 00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:55,993 I'm not! No, I'm not. No. 386 00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,062 No, I want to take some responsibility here. 387 00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:00,198 -Okay. -If I had been... Ah, [bleep]. 388 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,166 Gabe, listen. 389 00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,401 Why are you upset? 390 00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:07,238 I am upset, because... 391 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,044 if I had known... 392 00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:14,979 in March, 393 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,384 I would have been able... 394 00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,087 to understand. 395 00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:28,192 And to operate as a member. 396 00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:30,228 Or a team mate. 397 00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:36,300 Well, from now on, we'll operate that way, then. 398 00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,952 Alright. Let's go home, okay. 399 00:21:13,505 --> 00:21:15,239 At this point, 400 00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:19,243 I've put so much effort into 401 00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:22,980 uh, maintaining a relationship with my Dad through all this. 402 00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:24,882 That... 403 00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:33,958 I don't know, it's... really hard when you dedicate several months of your life 404 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,359 to... 405 00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:38,362 trying to, uh... to reach out 406 00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:40,097 to someone 407 00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:46,437 and to just not have that reciprocated, you know, like... 408 00:21:47,906 --> 00:21:49,340 any chance that I had 409 00:21:52,411 --> 00:21:57,014 went to maintaining a relationship with Dad 410 00:21:57,949 --> 00:21:59,083 and... 411 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,653 and I didn't get 412 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:05,289 I didn't get a lick of anything back, I didn't get... 413 00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:07,425 effort back. I didn't even get... 414 00:22:09,294 --> 00:22:10,361 [sighing sadly] 415 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,374 Are we done? 416 00:22:34,986 --> 00:22:37,188 Here is the special frosting. 417 00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:40,424 That needs to go in the... 418 00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:44,195 When the kids were small, 419 00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,630 I brought one of the traditions that I was raised with 420 00:22:46,632 --> 00:22:48,933 into the family. It's a German Christmas. 421 00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:52,770 And December 5th, you put your shoes outside the door. 422 00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:55,172 And then, "Father Christmas" which was me, 423 00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:57,708 puts candy in the kid's shoes. 424 00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,611 So, every year on December 6th, the kids 425 00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:02,847 would get the candy in their shoes. 426 00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:05,249 And then, we would make Gingerbread Houses with the candy. 427 00:23:06,084 --> 00:23:07,852 So, this is powdered sugar. 428 00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:09,019 I am doing the... 429 00:23:09,021 --> 00:23:11,822 Every other year that I have done this, 430 00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:15,226 we all get together and make Gingerbread Houses. 431 00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:17,762 And this year, we just have to do it separate. 432 00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:19,630 Just so everyone can still quarantine. 433 00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:21,899 So we can get together for Christmas day. 434 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:24,135 -Why are you doing this? -Alright, I'm done. What'd you guys think? 435 00:23:24,137 --> 00:23:26,404 - Those are bushes. - Guys... 436 00:23:26,671 --> 00:23:28,172 - Do you like my house? - Yes. 437 00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:31,976 Around Christmas time, there is this special little buzz in the air. 438 00:23:31,978 --> 00:23:33,878 And it's already here for us. 439 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,679 We don't want anything to ruin it. 440 00:23:35,681 --> 00:23:37,381 I am so excited this year. 441 00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:41,552 We were moving forward with everything that we had in plan 442 00:23:41,554 --> 00:23:42,853 for getting together for Christmas. 443 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:45,689 Everybody's quarantining, everybody was prepping for Christmas. 444 00:23:45,691 --> 00:23:48,125 And then, we got some really sad news. 445 00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:56,367 So, my mom passed away last night, um... 446 00:23:57,936 --> 00:24:00,104 We're back at her house in Wyoming. 447 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:02,406 And it's just weird that she's... 448 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,043 not coming back through the door ever. 449 00:24:06,812 --> 00:24:09,280 I am sort of stunned. And I sort of at a loss. 450 00:24:19,891 --> 00:24:23,794 My mom was diagnosed with cancer. 451 00:24:23,796 --> 00:24:26,464 And there just was really no good way... 452 00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,999 to operate. 453 00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:32,603 When I was trying to make arrangements to bring her back down to... 454 00:24:32,605 --> 00:24:35,105 to me so that I could take care of her. 455 00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:38,409 But she just at that point was too sick. She couldn't travel. 456 00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:42,980 It went completely downhill. 457 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:46,050 And, so I rushed there and was able to spend the last 458 00:24:46,052 --> 00:24:48,452 few hours with her that she was alive. 459 00:24:55,861 --> 00:24:59,063 I am currently driving by myself 460 00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:01,799 early in the morning, sun's coming up in the east. 461 00:25:01,801 --> 00:25:04,602 Grandma Sheryl has passed away and I'm headed to her funeral. 462 00:25:04,604 --> 00:25:06,737 She is Janelle's mom. 463 00:25:06,739 --> 00:25:09,006 There is a strange relationship that we have in this. 464 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:12,910 Meri and Janelle were friends and then, I became friends with Janelle. 465 00:25:12,912 --> 00:25:16,013 Janelle introduced Sheryl, her mother 466 00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:18,582 to my Dad 467 00:25:18,584 --> 00:25:20,584 and, they get married. 468 00:25:20,586 --> 00:25:24,889 My dad ended up marrying Sheryl before I married Janelle. 469 00:25:24,891 --> 00:25:30,160 And so it's weird that Sheryl is both my dad's wife, my mom's sister wife 470 00:25:30,162 --> 00:25:32,329 and my mother-in-law. [chuckles] 471 00:25:33,098 --> 00:25:34,465 It's been basically, 472 00:25:36,234 --> 00:25:37,201 nine months... 473 00:25:37,836 --> 00:25:40,070 since I saw Grandma Sheryl. 474 00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:44,441 The funeral is only a little over a week not even ten days 475 00:25:44,443 --> 00:25:46,744 before we'd be gathering for Christmas. 476 00:25:46,746 --> 00:25:49,213 So I am travelling and stuff like that. But I've asked... 477 00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:52,516 Robyn and Meri to not go to the funeral 478 00:25:52,518 --> 00:25:53,817 cause I just don't want them 479 00:25:53,819 --> 00:25:56,854 getting exposure to the virus. 480 00:25:56,856 --> 00:26:00,157 Robyn is the wife that I can communicate with and say, I don't think 481 00:26:00,159 --> 00:26:02,860 you should go, and she's like, "Okay, I won't." 482 00:26:02,862 --> 00:26:07,431 I am hoping and praying with faith that we'll make it to this 483 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,002 celebration for Christmas in spite of going 484 00:26:12,004 --> 00:26:14,972 and having potential exposure to COVID. 485 00:26:14,974 --> 00:26:19,009 The funeral, however is more important in this case, I feel, 486 00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:20,945 than Christmas. 487 00:26:20,947 --> 00:26:22,880 Because of COVID, it's changing everything. 488 00:26:22,882 --> 00:26:25,215 We'd have the whole family. This would be like, 489 00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:30,087 basically become a family reunion. Grandma Sheryl was 75. 490 00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:32,523 It's one of those things where you're just like, you're at peace. 491 00:26:33,892 --> 00:26:35,059 But you're sad. 492 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:37,227 Honestly, I was... 493 00:26:37,662 --> 00:26:39,530 a bit shocked. 494 00:26:45,136 --> 00:26:47,838 You know, she was a grandma to all of our kids. 495 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,708 In plural families, they... they separate. 496 00:26:50,710 --> 00:26:53,077 You know, these are my grandkids. 497 00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:57,915 But she was really, truly a grandma to all of the kids. 498 00:26:57,917 --> 00:26:59,350 And she treated them that way, 499 00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:06,790 Sheryl was really great at just being there... 500 00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:08,759 and connecting with people. 501 00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:10,794 She'll definitely be missed. 502 00:27:10,796 --> 00:27:13,197 [Kody] My dad passed away about six years ago. 503 00:27:13,199 --> 00:27:17,067 And grandma Sheryl and my mom, my bio-- biological mom 504 00:27:17,069 --> 00:27:18,902 Grandma Genielle 505 00:27:18,904 --> 00:27:22,139 uh, stayed close after my dad's passing. 506 00:27:23,975 --> 00:27:26,543 You know, Sheryl was a sweetheart. 507 00:27:28,013 --> 00:27:31,649 [sighs wearily] She was always really sweet to me and my kids. 508 00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:35,019 Sheryl was the last wife coming into a family. 509 00:27:35,021 --> 00:27:36,987 We had a lot of things in common. 510 00:27:37,055 --> 00:27:38,522 It was something that... 511 00:27:39,290 --> 00:27:42,059 I appreciated her kindness about. 512 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:45,496 Sheryl's funeral was hard. 513 00:27:45,498 --> 00:27:47,164 It was sad. 514 00:27:48,466 --> 00:27:50,868 She was conscious enough to make the choice, 515 00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:53,437 cause they said, "Do you want us to resuscitate you?" 516 00:27:53,439 --> 00:27:55,806 She said, "No." 517 00:27:55,808 --> 00:28:00,010 It was her birthday and she decided she wanted to go home to heaven. 518 00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:09,286 And spend her birthday... 519 00:28:11,122 --> 00:28:12,956 [smacks lips] 520 00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:15,059 With her husband. 521 00:28:17,595 --> 00:28:20,064 In our faith, we believe that our earthly life 522 00:28:20,066 --> 00:28:22,900 is just a small part of our existence. 523 00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:26,070 When we die, we're reunited with everybody who we have 524 00:28:26,072 --> 00:28:28,272 lost and who's gone before. 525 00:28:28,274 --> 00:28:29,773 So like I fully expect 526 00:28:29,775 --> 00:28:32,509 that when it's my turn she'll be there waiting for me. 527 00:28:33,011 --> 00:28:35,345 And that gives me a lot of comfort. 528 00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:41,351 I've caught myself in the last few weeks 529 00:28:41,353 --> 00:28:43,053 just kind of reflecting and being like, 530 00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:44,722 "Okay, look. 531 00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:47,124 Do I still choose plural marriage?" 532 00:28:48,059 --> 00:28:52,529 With Kody and I right now, our relationship is pretty strained. 533 00:28:52,531 --> 00:28:54,198 And you know it'd be really easy, 534 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,201 it's easy... to walk away. 535 00:29:11,916 --> 00:29:14,585 I just wanted to visit Janelle. 536 00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:18,856 You know, check on her and see how she's doing as far as her mom passing. 537 00:29:18,858 --> 00:29:20,891 It's very easy to stop talking to each other 538 00:29:20,893 --> 00:29:22,359 unless we need to. 539 00:29:24,028 --> 00:29:28,599 I really don't, uh... have much communication with Robyn right now. 540 00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:30,501 These are... the ornaments. 541 00:29:30,503 --> 00:29:34,238 Oh! Oh, yeah. We can have a chance to do some of that this year. 542 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,006 Our lives just don't really overlap. 543 00:29:36,008 --> 00:29:39,076 It's sad, but it's just the truth. 544 00:29:39,078 --> 00:29:42,045 I wanted to see how you're doing, how the funeral was and 545 00:29:42,047 --> 00:29:43,947 - how you're doing and... - Yeah. 546 00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:46,750 It... it was good, um... 547 00:29:46,752 --> 00:29:48,752 You know, mom's been sick for a while. 548 00:29:48,754 --> 00:29:52,723 And she really did miss when her husband, you know, so... 549 00:29:52,725 --> 00:29:55,225 She was-- I think she was glad to go home. 550 00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:59,029 I am really sorry I wasn't there, I mean... 551 00:29:59,031 --> 00:30:01,431 I was with you guys in spirit. 552 00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:06,069 And the family was all pretty respectful. Kody and I... 553 00:30:06,071 --> 00:30:08,505 um, you know, tried to... 554 00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:09,840 - wear our masks. - Yeah. 555 00:30:09,842 --> 00:30:12,776 So it was pretty good, and then... I had no idea 556 00:30:12,778 --> 00:30:15,612 that you could take these tests... 557 00:30:15,614 --> 00:30:19,283 like the test that you can take now, like-- you don't have to be sick. 558 00:30:19,285 --> 00:30:21,118 - I guess I thought, you had to be sick. - Oh! 559 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,855 I was talking to somebody, they were like, then you guys 560 00:30:24,857 --> 00:30:26,290 can just do rapid tests, and I was like... 561 00:30:26,858 --> 00:30:27,357 Yes. 562 00:30:27,359 --> 00:30:29,026 Just recently 563 00:30:29,028 --> 00:30:33,897 there started to be this like, saliva based rapid COVID test 564 00:30:33,899 --> 00:30:37,000 that you can do and you don't have to be sick. 565 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,536 Honestly, Christmas wouldn't be happening 566 00:30:39,538 --> 00:30:41,638 through no fault of our own... 567 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,106 if we didn't have this option. 568 00:30:43,108 --> 00:30:44,942 We got back from my mom's funeral 569 00:30:44,976 --> 00:30:46,376 and Kody's been here at the house. 570 00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:49,179 If anybody tests positive, 571 00:30:49,181 --> 00:30:51,148 I mean it would mean separate Christmas's. 572 00:30:51,150 --> 00:30:53,750 And I--I don't think... 573 00:30:53,752 --> 00:30:56,186 I--I don't think I wanna witness that. 574 00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:57,521 I think that would be very, very sad. 575 00:30:59,290 --> 00:31:02,526 Kody can't even go to see Robyn's kids until he know he's... 576 00:31:03,094 --> 00:31:05,262 safe, like no COVID. 577 00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:08,866 So Christmas is about a week away. 578 00:31:08,868 --> 00:31:10,901 They could come back positive and then, 579 00:31:10,903 --> 00:31:12,536 what are we gonna do? 580 00:31:12,538 --> 00:31:16,874 I could be having Christmas with just me my kids and Meri. 581 00:31:16,876 --> 00:31:19,943 You know, I don't think any of us thought this would go as long as it has. 582 00:31:19,945 --> 00:31:22,913 - Oh, no. - And it's changed our culture maybe permanently. 583 00:31:22,915 --> 00:31:25,048 I've actually been going through... 584 00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:27,351 kind of a mourning process. 585 00:31:30,054 --> 00:31:33,123 For what it was like before, the easy way that we just all got together. 586 00:31:33,791 --> 00:31:34,524 Yeah! 587 00:31:37,161 --> 00:31:39,196 [clears throat] 588 00:31:39,198 --> 00:31:43,634 COVID is sort of... pulled this blanket off of some of our issues. 589 00:31:43,636 --> 00:31:45,802 I actually think so too. 590 00:31:45,804 --> 00:31:47,504 These things were there before this. 591 00:31:48,006 --> 00:31:49,740 We have two choices. 592 00:31:49,742 --> 00:31:51,808 To either fixed it, or just let it 593 00:31:51,810 --> 00:31:54,177 completely damage us and change us. 594 00:31:54,179 --> 00:31:57,214 I think COVID has been a little bit rough on our family. 595 00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:00,884 Like... opened up this new platform 596 00:32:00,886 --> 00:32:02,986 for us to... gripe at each other. 597 00:32:02,988 --> 00:32:04,855 COVID has kind of... 598 00:32:04,857 --> 00:32:08,025 exposed some of those things really... 599 00:32:08,027 --> 00:32:11,862 like they are very noticeable now. 600 00:32:11,864 --> 00:32:14,197 I've caught myself in the last weeks, kind of 601 00:32:14,199 --> 00:32:16,533 reflecting and being like, "Okay look. 602 00:32:17,201 --> 00:32:19,169 Do I still choose plural marriage?" 603 00:32:24,542 --> 00:32:25,976 Yeah, I still choose it, 604 00:32:25,978 --> 00:32:28,512 but I have to had that conscious decision with myself. 605 00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:36,019 I've had to really think my children are... almost grown. 606 00:32:36,021 --> 00:32:40,257 And... there's not a huge necessity anymore... 607 00:32:40,259 --> 00:32:43,060 to stay. It was a wonderful way to raise children. 608 00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:48,665 With Kody and I right now, 609 00:32:48,667 --> 00:32:51,268 our relationship is pretty strained. 610 00:32:51,270 --> 00:32:56,139 And you know, it'd be really easy, it's easy... to walk away. 611 00:32:59,110 --> 00:33:00,944 You know, I haven't... 612 00:33:01,913 --> 00:33:04,681 really ever... 613 00:33:04,683 --> 00:33:08,919 thought about, well because Mariah is grown and out of the house. 614 00:33:08,921 --> 00:33:11,855 Now, should I leave the family? 615 00:33:11,857 --> 00:33:15,692 What I hoped polygamy to be when I was younger, 616 00:33:15,694 --> 00:33:17,527 ended up being something very different 617 00:33:17,529 --> 00:33:20,097 from what I actually have lived. 618 00:33:20,099 --> 00:33:22,065 The thing is, as we're heading into Christmas... 619 00:33:22,133 --> 00:33:23,834 and... 620 00:33:23,836 --> 00:33:24,935 I need to be present... 621 00:33:24,937 --> 00:33:27,904 and be grateful for the family that I have. 622 00:33:27,906 --> 00:33:32,009 I am who I am today because of polygamy because I've lived it. 623 00:33:32,011 --> 00:33:35,278 It's given... given me a lot to think about, for sure. 624 00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:41,418 I--I think I've been shocked at how... we've handled 625 00:33:41,552 --> 00:33:43,086 the pandemic. 626 00:33:43,088 --> 00:33:48,291 It's made me think like, "Why would we choose to do it how we've done this?" 627 00:33:48,293 --> 00:33:50,260 - Yeah! - Cause I really wanna work this crap out. 628 00:33:50,262 --> 00:33:52,229 Like I really, really do. 629 00:33:52,231 --> 00:33:53,563 Could be just that 630 00:33:53,565 --> 00:33:56,400 somehow we've lost sight of that we're all in this together. 631 00:34:01,839 --> 00:34:03,507 [scoffs] Anyway, it's freezing. 632 00:34:03,509 --> 00:34:05,709 It's getting colder and colder so... 633 00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:07,110 Thanks for the wreath. 634 00:34:07,112 --> 00:34:09,179 It's gonna remake us on the other side. 635 00:34:09,181 --> 00:34:11,314 We're going to look differently. 636 00:34:11,316 --> 00:34:12,215 - See you soon. - Alright, see ya. 637 00:34:12,217 --> 00:34:13,650 Yay! 638 00:34:13,652 --> 00:34:17,554 And I hope it looks the same, like the adults are all together still. 639 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:28,131 [Kody] Grandma Sheryl's funeral was four days ago and Janelle and I 640 00:34:28,133 --> 00:34:29,833 just recently had gotten back 641 00:34:29,835 --> 00:34:32,969 So, I'm gonna go take a COVID test and 642 00:34:32,971 --> 00:34:36,139 hopefully, get cleared, so I can go over to Robyn's house. 643 00:34:37,708 --> 00:34:40,911 Here's the thing, you get to a funeral, you get in an environment, 644 00:34:40,913 --> 00:34:43,914 you just have to sort of throw caution to the wind. 645 00:34:43,916 --> 00:34:47,851 Hugging people that that--I don't know where you've been. 646 00:34:47,853 --> 00:34:50,120 So I am just nervous about it. 647 00:34:50,122 --> 00:34:53,924 It's just the--and I feel little hypocritical because I... 648 00:34:53,926 --> 00:34:55,292 broke all my rules. 649 00:34:55,294 --> 00:34:59,563 I promised Robyn that I would be around for Sol and Ari for Christmas. 650 00:34:59,565 --> 00:35:03,033 And I here with urgent care just praying to God 651 00:35:03,035 --> 00:35:07,237 that um... [clears throat] that I test negative for COVID. 652 00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:10,907 I promised Robyn when I was going, I just... 653 00:35:10,909 --> 00:35:12,642 had to give her the confidence 654 00:35:12,644 --> 00:35:14,945 to be okay with me leaving. 655 00:35:14,947 --> 00:35:18,115 And so I am just like, I promise you I'll be back here for Christmas. 656 00:35:18,516 --> 00:35:21,084 If I got a... positive result, 657 00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:25,222 I don't know if I'd ever be forgiven. 658 00:35:25,756 --> 00:35:27,390 So I am... 659 00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:31,495 all excited to know. I am just hoping... 660 00:35:31,497 --> 00:35:33,430 that it's negative. 661 00:35:33,931 --> 00:35:35,465 So here's hoping. 662 00:35:39,237 --> 00:35:42,005 [music playing] 663 00:35:42,007 --> 00:35:43,540 Somebody is at the door, Ari. 664 00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:45,909 How's my sweetie? 665 00:35:45,911 --> 00:35:48,845 Oh my gosh! It's daddy. 666 00:35:48,847 --> 00:35:53,550 [Robyn] Kody testing negative was just such a relief because my kids are just... 667 00:35:53,552 --> 00:35:55,385 really missing their dad. 668 00:35:55,387 --> 00:35:59,456 It's been ten days and Ari barely makes it through two. 669 00:35:59,458 --> 00:36:02,626 And even when he leaves, she... 670 00:36:02,628 --> 00:36:04,194 really struggles and... 671 00:36:04,196 --> 00:36:06,930 like tries to stop him, and like, "Why... 672 00:36:06,932 --> 00:36:08,932 why are you leaving me again?" 673 00:36:08,934 --> 00:36:12,969 Wait. I got to give mommy a hug. [both laughing] 674 00:36:12,971 --> 00:36:14,938 [Robyn] I'm looking forward to Christmas a lot, 675 00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:16,640 because if we are able to be together, 676 00:36:16,642 --> 00:36:18,875 I'm just gonna have some, such a nice... 677 00:36:18,877 --> 00:36:20,710 time, being able to hang around with everybody 678 00:36:20,712 --> 00:36:22,946 and... feel like normal. 679 00:36:24,782 --> 00:36:27,450 - Nice to see you. - Nice to see you too. 680 00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:32,522 It's Christmas day. 681 00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:35,859 Does everybody see where their stocking is? 682 00:36:35,861 --> 00:36:39,129 We've had a lot of struggles this year, as a result 683 00:36:39,131 --> 00:36:43,066 I am not really feeling that joyful this Christmas. 684 00:36:44,001 --> 00:36:47,037 [festive music playing] 685 00:36:48,105 --> 00:36:49,673 Christmas holiday is here. 686 00:36:49,675 --> 00:36:52,075 And we have been... 687 00:36:52,077 --> 00:36:55,512 staying home and following all the rules. And now we get to get together. 688 00:36:59,850 --> 00:37:04,688 We've been doing everything on the list for quarantining. 689 00:37:04,690 --> 00:37:06,923 I am the only one that leaves the house to go shopping. 690 00:37:06,925 --> 00:37:10,727 And--as much as possible, I get grocery pick-up. 691 00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:13,663 The amount of wipes that we've gone through is astronomical. 692 00:37:13,665 --> 00:37:17,100 The amount of hand sanitizer is disgusting. 693 00:37:18,736 --> 00:37:21,104 When we got back from my mom's funeral, we all tested 694 00:37:21,106 --> 00:37:22,973 to make sure we weren't carrying the virus. 695 00:37:22,975 --> 00:37:24,841 And we really just stayed home. 696 00:37:24,843 --> 00:37:27,711 And we all came back negative on the 20th so... 697 00:37:27,713 --> 00:37:30,947 we were good. We were gonna be able to have Christmas together after all. 698 00:37:33,050 --> 00:37:35,385 Well! We have made it to Christmas. 699 00:37:38,756 --> 00:37:41,258 We are finally... getting together. 700 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,328 [indistinct conversation] 701 00:37:47,031 --> 00:37:49,666 We'll have the blessing. 702 00:37:49,668 --> 00:37:51,768 Dearly father, thank you for all of your blessings. 703 00:37:51,770 --> 00:37:53,937 Thank you for the wonderful year we've had. 704 00:37:53,939 --> 00:37:56,306 [Kody] I am struggling to be excited. 705 00:37:56,807 --> 00:37:58,008 We are gathered together. 706 00:37:58,010 --> 00:38:00,210 I had gotten myself to the place 707 00:38:00,212 --> 00:38:03,046 where I was prepared to not have Christmas together 708 00:38:03,180 --> 00:38:05,048 if they didn't wanna comply, 709 00:38:05,816 --> 00:38:08,251 because... I was tired of the fight. 710 00:38:08,253 --> 00:38:10,420 So I just want a peaceful Christmas. 711 00:38:11,155 --> 00:38:13,023 [All] Amen. 712 00:38:13,257 --> 00:38:15,558 I did text my family. 713 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,260 I said, "Hey! 714 00:38:17,262 --> 00:38:22,632 Let's make certain topics off limits for our kids so we don't have issues." 715 00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:24,668 We're not talking COVID. 716 00:38:24,670 --> 00:38:26,903 We're not talking politics. Nothing. 717 00:38:26,905 --> 00:38:29,506 I am going to kick my boys under the table if they say anything. 718 00:38:32,943 --> 00:38:34,210 - Ever. - Yeah, right. 719 00:38:34,212 --> 00:38:36,746 Who's gonna be my helpers? 720 00:38:36,748 --> 00:38:40,350 [indistinct conversation] 721 00:38:41,919 --> 00:38:45,922 Meri usually does pajamas on Christmas eve. 722 00:38:45,924 --> 00:38:50,493 Instead of Christmas day giving the kids each a gift, this is her gift to the kids. 723 00:38:50,495 --> 00:38:54,964 - Thank you, Meri. - Thank you, Meri. 724 00:38:54,966 --> 00:38:59,069 Apparently, Meri is not doing pajamas this year. 725 00:38:59,071 --> 00:39:02,205 I don't know how else to describe this. It's a wearable teddy bear. 726 00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:04,040 [indistinct shouting] 727 00:39:04,042 --> 00:39:08,178 [indistinct conversation] 728 00:39:08,679 --> 00:39:10,780 [Kody] The little kids are having fun. 729 00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:13,483 You know they are interacting in a way that they haven't for months. 730 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,688 [Robyn] Everything that we've been sitting here worrying about 731 00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:21,658 through this whole year has just kind of... 732 00:39:21,660 --> 00:39:25,195 disappeared right now. And we're just enjoying ourselves. 733 00:39:33,704 --> 00:39:36,039 We are headed over to Robyn's house 734 00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:38,441 to have our traditional Christmas morning. 735 00:39:40,544 --> 00:39:43,146 It's Christmas day. 736 00:39:43,148 --> 00:39:46,950 Today is Christmas day and we're all gathering up to have Christmas together. 737 00:39:46,952 --> 00:39:49,953 Does everybody see where their stocking is? 738 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:52,655 Generally, the kids draw names. 739 00:39:52,657 --> 00:39:54,858 The adults, all give gifts to each other. 740 00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:58,061 We all take care of our own children. 741 00:39:58,063 --> 00:40:00,363 And then we work on the stockings together. 742 00:40:00,365 --> 00:40:02,966 Thank you. 743 00:40:02,968 --> 00:40:05,869 - Aww. - Is it from her or her? 744 00:40:05,871 --> 00:40:09,572 - Savanah. - Thank you, Savanah. 745 00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:12,509 It's interesting and it's even a little sad 746 00:40:12,511 --> 00:40:16,880 that Ariella is forgetting who her brothers and sisters are. 747 00:40:16,882 --> 00:40:19,883 Thank you. This is awesome. 748 00:40:19,885 --> 00:40:21,518 Come here, bud. It's a Halo. 749 00:40:21,652 --> 00:40:22,919 Thank you. 750 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,990 And it was just really, really fun to actually be together 751 00:40:26,992 --> 00:40:29,159 in each other's face... 752 00:40:29,161 --> 00:40:31,528 and just hanging out with everyone. 753 00:40:31,530 --> 00:40:34,798 Thanks sis. Aw! This is so cute. 754 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:38,568 Being together for this holiday, 755 00:40:38,570 --> 00:40:41,671 is kind of melting away some of the hurts and stuff that... 756 00:40:41,673 --> 00:40:45,308 um, at least for me, that has happened through COVID. 757 00:40:46,043 --> 00:40:49,846 [Kody] We've had a lot of struggles this year with COVID 758 00:40:49,848 --> 00:40:53,116 with relationships the passing of Grandma Sheryl. 759 00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:54,451 As a result, 760 00:40:55,519 --> 00:40:57,120 I am a little blue. I am not... 761 00:40:57,122 --> 00:41:00,290 really feeling that joyful this Christmas. 762 00:41:00,891 --> 00:41:03,393 Hello... Handsome. 763 00:41:06,831 --> 00:41:08,865 I think we've damaged some relationships. 764 00:41:08,867 --> 00:41:10,733 So I think it's time to get kind of get back 765 00:41:10,735 --> 00:41:12,769 to the normalcy and see if we can... 766 00:41:12,771 --> 00:41:15,004 smooth some of those things out. 767 00:41:16,974 --> 00:41:21,978 This is definitely the quietest Christmas we've ever had. 768 00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:24,881 Overall, I'd say our Christmas's are always really good. 769 00:41:24,883 --> 00:41:29,886 We just kind of put whatever problem and issue, individuals... 770 00:41:29,888 --> 00:41:33,756 we'll be having, we just kind of put those aside and... 771 00:41:33,758 --> 00:41:35,091 just tackle that on another day. 772 00:41:35,093 --> 00:41:37,360 And let's just focus on... 773 00:41:38,028 --> 00:41:40,697 celebrating us together instead. 774 00:41:40,699 --> 00:41:42,198 It was a great Christmas. 775 00:41:44,902 --> 00:41:47,003 [narrator] Next time on Sister Wives 776 00:41:47,005 --> 00:41:51,107 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 777 00:41:51,109 --> 00:41:55,078 I got a call from child care provider. She said that her husband... 778 00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:56,980 and her... 779 00:41:57,815 --> 00:41:59,716 were testing positive for COVID. 780 00:41:59,718 --> 00:42:00,483 We're done. 781 00:42:00,485 --> 00:42:03,219 We're not gonna hang out again. 782 00:42:03,221 --> 00:42:06,890 He said, "I am not interested in having an intimate marriage anymore." 783 00:42:06,892 --> 00:42:10,226 I am not okay with staying in a marriage where there is no intimacy. 784 00:42:13,063 --> 00:42:16,032 I came out to the garage 785 00:42:16,034 --> 00:42:17,467 Why is it Christine's house? 786 00:42:18,168 --> 00:42:19,402 Kody's books. 787 00:42:20,638 --> 00:42:21,804 Kody's clothes. 788 00:42:21,806 --> 00:42:24,073 I guess, I've been moved out of the house. 789 00:42:24,075 --> 00:42:25,975 I don't know what to tell my kids. 790 00:42:28,145 --> 00:42:29,979 [sobbing]