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[narrator]
Previously on Sister Wives...
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I've been waiting
for you, honestly.
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And I'm not coming.
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I know that.
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You know Kody and I,
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we had a conversation
recently that
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it just kind of
came down to that...
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we're friends.
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My relationship with Meri is
not the kind of relationship where
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I'm going to talk
with her everyday.
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And my best guess is
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that her sister wives
don't feel like having
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an interaction
with her daily either.
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I'm not going anywhere.
You're all stuck with me.
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[chuckles]
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So we follow
these rules in my house,
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we'll be able to get
together for Christmas day.
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Are you the head of the family?
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I don't have
a head wife in this family.
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Meri, I can't be married to
Kody anymore. I don't wanna...
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- Just look at the mountain.
- I don't wanna do it anymore.
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I never wanted to be...
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so estranged and have
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extremely limited
physical contact.
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Not even hand holding.
It's just sad.
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[Janelle] You know, one of the
really sad things that has happened
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with all of this covid,
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is that my boys
they view their dad
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as little bit antagonistic now.
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So I think it has
hurt their relationship.
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Hi, honey.
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What do you want
done here, Janelle?
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Do you want me to just...
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Like you see. No, uh no.
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See the branches that
were all knocked down?
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-Cause like...
-Why don't I trim these too. Why don't I get them...
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I guess if you want to. Just so they
don't hit the car when we back out.
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Kody used to have just this
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smooth and easy relationship
with all his kids.
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They always wanted to
seek him out and talk to him.
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But he doesn't come
over to the house,
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except for something like
this where we're outside.
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Because of covid,
it is fundamentally changed
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things. Yeah.
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Okay.
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This right here, all we...
I don't want you
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to trim it all
cause I like this.
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So, Kody passed out
all these rules.
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Written down, that supposedly, he and
Robyn and, you know, their nanny follow
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So that-- I don't know.
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So that all the risks are over
compensated for, whatever.
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You were asking why our nanny
was able to hang out with our kids,
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and none of the
other kids could.
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I basically have
wrote down the rules
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- that we have for our nanny.
- Okay.
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I really don't have a problem with
following this list of requirements.
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We'll do it for a while,
so we can hang out,
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but, like, we have things coming
up and things that we're doing,
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so I'm not gonna follow
it all the time.
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Yeah, I mean,
some of these are great,
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but clean mail with
alcohol wipes? I mean it's--
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You can mock it
or you can find way.
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I was really glad that we finally had that
conversation. It was a long time coming.
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You know now, I can make a plan
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to get together
with Robyn and her kids.
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I haven't really been able to
interact with the kids since covid.
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It's been like, what,
six or eight months.
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I don't even know.
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Okay, so basically then Kody,
I don't think it's
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gonna ever work for
us all to get together.
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Listen, these are the rules
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for me to be able to
come to your house.
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Those are different set rules.
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These the rules for us
to be able to actually
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associate as family.
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All right, let's get this
to a normal path.
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I need to talk to your dad.
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Kicking me out of outside?
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I'm having a conversation with
you guys a little bit later.
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I just felt like maybe I could
have acted a little bit better.
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And I just want to
make sure that
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he and I are good,
I need to clear the air.
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Honey, I...
I owe you an apology. Um...
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You know the other day
when you rolled out the rules,
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I freaked out because I'm
doing most of those things.
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But there was a couple
extra steps that I'm not doing,
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that somehow just made
me feel like I couldn't breathe.
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Like it was too much.
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Like, you know,
I'm doing everything.
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I'm hand sanitizing,
washing my hands,
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social distancing,
wearing a mask.
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But there were some extra things
like wiping down your groceries,
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leaving your mail
outside for 24 hours.
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Like it just feels like a little bit,
like I'm being held a prisoner.
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So, you're saying that
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you thought it was a problem,
but it's not a problem now.
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I'm still struggling with it,
but, you know,
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I'll do what we need to do
for Christmas.
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It's what you and Robyn
have embraced.
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- And...
- What's with I see fitting,
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and Robyn's compliant to.
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-Yeah
-I think it's...
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easy for her simply because
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she sees the value
in protecting our family.
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This value statement all the time
is what he throws at me, all the time.
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'Cause she sees the value
in doing what I think...
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and then like okay, that's great
that all her children are home.
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That's great.
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Like that's great. She doesn't
have to make any hard decisions,
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her kids all stays home. 'Cause
she's so compliant. She's so...
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She sees the value and I'm
like dude my life is really different.
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I've really struggled
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with my mental health
through this thing.
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Don't you think that'll
improve if I'm able to be home?
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If Garrison and Gabriel
can cease their social lives,
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then I can come home.
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Garrison is very close to being
able to save his down payment.
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If I can give him
three more months at home,
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and he's not really
that social anyway.
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Garrison is really the reason
that Kody is staying away right now.
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And Garrison is actually been
home for the last six or eight months
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saving his money like crazy
'cause he wants to buy a house.
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I'm not gonna kick him out,
this close to that goal.
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I mean, for you to feel like you could come
back here, it's about all of those rules.
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The alcohol, groceries
and everything?
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I'm making all the sacrifices
and I'm asking everybody else
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to simply meet
that level of sacrifice
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so that this family can exist.
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So you would have it so that
we don't go to the grocery store...
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You can go to the grocery store.
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Make it one person, you socially
distance while you're there,
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you come home,
you change your clothes.
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The level of paranoia for
me that is like, it's so weird.
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We don't even know
if it's gonna work.
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But anything that I can do
to prevent it
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is a smart idea.
You know, why?
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'Cause I got a four year old
who needs a dad till she's 21.
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And she just represents
the entire family.
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That includes Savanah,
that includes Truely,
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that includes Solomon.
That includes...
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I didn't expect that you'd come
over and be so aggressive with me.
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I'm getting aggressive because I
don't feel like you're hearing the point.
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I am hearing and
you're not hearing me that
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I'm sorry that I freaked out
because it wasn't little things,
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but it was just
one thing too much.
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Janelle, it's okay that
you freaked out.
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Okay, hurt my feelings,
that's no big deal.
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Hurt my feelings because
I'm like, isn't it worth it
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for us to be or
to be back together?
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- My point is why don't we--
- See, the thing is--
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You just think
I'm doing overkill.
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Well, I don't.
I mean is that really...
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I have to do
all those things in order,
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'cause that wasn't the rules
this summer.
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I didn't wipe down
my groceries...
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That's the rules about getting
the family back together.
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For the rules for me
to come back home?
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Is getting Garrison and Gabriel
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to maintain a social distance from
the house or from their front peers.
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My boys think that they're fine
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so going out and
continuing social life,
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while I'm making
these humongous sacrifices.
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And you are too because I...
You and I are not able to
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see each other,
I'm not able to see Savanah.
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Well, I mean, Gabriel's not obviously
gonna stop seeing his girlfriend.
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I mean, at 20
would you have stopped
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- seeing your girlfriend?
- I did. I went on a mission.
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And for two years,
I didn't date.
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And for two years I basically
socially distanced from women.
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What do you think of Gabriel's
girlfriend moving in for a couple of weeks?
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So...
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I'm not answering that question.
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If I answer the negative,
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then I am restricting them
from being around each other.
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If I answer the positive,
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then I am contradicting
my religious views.
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And you know what, the whole freaking
family is just thrown those out the window.
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She has her own apartment.
She is not moving in, but
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for the two weeks or
whatever before Christmas,
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'cause she's gonna be here
over the break. She's got a job.
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Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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Just vomit more [bleep].
Vomit more [bleep].
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God I'm just sick of it.
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So, Garrison is okay at his job.
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Yeah, but is Garrison gonna
really cut his social life?
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Kody, he doesn't go now.
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His friends have all moved away.
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In fact, I've been kinda worried
about him because he's...
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- A little bit lonely like he's
not-- - That's why he wants me
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back now is because he is lonely
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and all summer long
he didn't need me,
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but was gonna doing this stuff
I didn't even know about it.
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See, I think you assume the
worst and I assume the best.
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- It's not fair to me--
- I think the truth...
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I think the truth
is somewhere in between.
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It's not as bleak
as you think it was.
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Yeah, but still my point is,
it's not fair to me and you,
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in our life we're suppose
to be able to have
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with our kids that is
suppose to be at home.
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Whatever happened to Team Brown?
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And I don't wanna sit here and alienate
my children with what they think is stupid,
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and I'm frankly tired of their
criticism of my standards.
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And I've already sacrificed
so much for seven months,
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that I feel like, what do I just
drop my pants now and go,
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oh, I'm not gonna fight anymore
to keep my family healthy?
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And what I've tried to do is I've tried to
lead by example by doing this at this level,
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and let everybody else
choose what they do,
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but then actually
have the consequences,
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and it looks to me like nobody
really cares if I'm at home.
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We really are kind of
responsible to each other.
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And what's happened is, now they don't
care to answer to each other or to me.
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00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,835
But I'm still answering to them.
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00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:09,741
Once again,
more polygamy double standard.
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00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,010
- All right, well-- - I mean,
I think you think it's silly.
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No, I don't, I just don't know
how to reconcile it,
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- because I can't leave my boys
hanging out-- - They're adults.
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Bye-bye.
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Listen, I've been sympathetic to this
situation with Janelle and her kids...
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this entire time.
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And I tolerated a lot
for a very long time,
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until I realized that I
was being lied to or deceived.
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00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:36,801
And at that point, was when I
sort of lost my patience with it.
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I'm like, "You need to just
make the boys move out."
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When you're 21, karmically
I've given you all you need.
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You've got a good car, you got
get a job, here's some cash. Bye.
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I'm on the verge
of washing my hands off it.
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I'm gonna have Gabrielle and
Garrison move out of the house.
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I'm sorry, here's the problem,
Janelle's name is on the lease
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so I can't evict them.
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You know my dad sent me out
with a car that I earned...
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00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,264
- I know.
- and $50.
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00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,299
You know, he is like, my dad
kicked me out at 18
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00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:11,636
and sent me with a crappy car
to go live in Utah, whatever.
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00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:14,005
Look you know what?
I am not just that parent.
235
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,607
This is a different day and age.
236
00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:20,011
You don't just kick your kids out of the
house at 18 and say, hope you do good.
237
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,514
Do I feel like I have had
higher standards all my life
238
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,582
and I trying this expectation
239
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,885
that nobody else can even
fall into, like it's...
240
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,119
It's just ridiculous.
241
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:33,658
But in plural marriage,
242
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:37,228
what one person does
affects everybody else.
243
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,797
Okay, well.
I'll talk to the boys.
244
00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:42,100
Sure.
245
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,838
This is the same conversation
we have all the time.
246
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,807
We circle, we circle,
we circle, we circle,
247
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,208
we circle, we circle, we circle,
248
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,476
and nothing is resolved.
249
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,144
I am done. I am tired.
I am done.
250
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,245
Done with this conversation.
251
00:11:57,783 --> 00:11:59,451
Dad wants to play stupid games,
252
00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:00,885
we can play...
we can play along.
253
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,821
And you'd be lying to dad.
254
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,355
Gabe and I've got jobs.
255
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,024
Sorry, it has been eight months
256
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,659
since I have been able to
hang out with my dad.
257
00:12:07,661 --> 00:12:08,860
Of course, I am
going to rebel a little.
258
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,129
Like, I am tired of it.
I'm freakin' tired of it.
259
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,698
Let's bring dad here
and I'll yell at him.
260
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,734
Okay, I am trying here.
261
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:22,974
Kody just left.
262
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:26,444
So, I now need to bring up
the new rules
263
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,514
with my kids and see how
they feel about the holidays.
264
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,583
Okay. Hey, guys okay,
265
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,485
I just talked to
dad a little bit go.
266
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:35,253
So, here's...
267
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,059
I can't meet.
268
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,628
- Perfect for harvesting.
- Hey guys.
269
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,764
Pay attention please.
270
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,465
I am not really optimistic.
271
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,135
I don't even really want
to tell them these rules
272
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,470
because I know what their
reactions are going to be.
273
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:57,909
Okay, so for the whole family. I
am not going to show you the list.
274
00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:00,612
- List?
- For the whole family to get together,
275
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:04,182
it requires everything we are
doing now... masks,
276
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:08,052
distancing, hand sanitizer,
277
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:11,322
but it also requires when we
go to the grocery store,
278
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,424
we change our clothes
when we come home,
279
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:17,629
we wipe down our mail or
let it sit outside for 24 hours,
280
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:20,498
and that we wipe down our
groceries, when we come home.
281
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,066
Cool. See you February.
282
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:23,301
Okay.
283
00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:25,503
Not even Christmas?
284
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,272
You won't even do it for
two weeks before Christmas?
285
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,674
Not if I get a job. No.
286
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,910
Well jobs...
287
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,178
Jobs are the exception.
288
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,146
Well, I don't know. It depends
on how careful you are being.
289
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,382
Okay, so we are making
an exception for work,
290
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,184
but we are not making
any exception for our mail?
291
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,852
- I just need to present facts.
- I know.
292
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,987
I'll cooperate with you,
but I am mad at dad.
293
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,155
- Guys.
- This is stupid.
294
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,257
Okay. It's everything
we are doing now,
295
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,793
except for the groceries
and the mail.
296
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,362
And the changing clothes, and
the not seeing my girlfriend,
297
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,131
and the not getting a job
and the...
298
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,600
We will do it and we will tell
dad that we did it.
299
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,636
- No, no that doesn't work.
- 'Cause he won't know.
300
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,972
- That works for me.
- You can never do that, honey.
301
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:04,108
Dad wants to play stupid
games. We can play along.
302
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:06,010
You would be lying to dad.
303
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:09,147
- Gabe and I got jobs.
- Sorry, it's been eight months
304
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:10,782
since I have been able
to hang out with my dad,
305
00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:12,217
and of course, I am going
to rebel a little.
306
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:15,053
Like, I am tired of it.
I am freakin' tired of it.
307
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:18,489
Gabriel has always felt like he and
his dad had a pretty close relationship
308
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,558
so he feels this like rejection.
309
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,795
Okay, so that's a really big
conversation, let's bring it down.
310
00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:26,264
- So, let's bring dad here and I'll yell at him.
- No.
311
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,833
Okay, I am trying here.
312
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,169
Listen, dad's going to be
a child about this.
313
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,204
- No.
- No. He is not.
314
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,672
- He is not.
- He can be.
315
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,307
- He wants to tear the family.
- If you are going to say that about dad
316
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:38,309
then you have to acknowledge
that we are being childish too.
317
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,310
We are
318
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:42,080
Okay. Yes, everybody is angry
on both sides.
319
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,883
Can we figure out what works...
320
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,784
- We can... Dad...
- for the holidays.
321
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,953
Dad can figure out how
not to tear apart his family
322
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:51,689
- over something so stupid.
- Okay, I don't think...
323
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,324
I don't think
we have to go to extremes.
324
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,793
- Okay guys look...
- Mom, it has been nine months.
325
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,695
I am emotional too. Okay?
326
00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:59,464
Someone could have
gotten pregnant
327
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:02,433
and had a baby in the time
that we haven't seen dad.
328
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:06,204
All of them are talking about how I
have not been around all year long
329
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,239
and that's not true.
330
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,242
I have been at these places
like every month.
331
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,178
All that's in question,
right now,
332
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,980
because I got to bring
this conversation in small.
333
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:17,515
Pregnant and baby.
334
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,450
Thanksgiving, Christmas.
335
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:22,720
Kody and I didn't raise
children to be sheeple.
336
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,389
Like, we are not
sheeple raisers.
337
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,759
We raised children who,
unfortunately,
338
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,128
are as opinionated
and stubborn as we are.
339
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,797
And that's a good thing
in most situations.
340
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,432
Not so good now.
341
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,235
Do we want to spend
Thanksgiving with the whole family?
342
00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:39,604
- Yes.
- Yeah.
343
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,640
- It would require...
- Okay. We will do it.
344
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,476
- no socializing.
- No socializing. We'll do it.
345
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,879
- Nope.
- If I can survive without socializing
346
00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:50,515
- you guys can survive without socializing. I promise you.
- No.
347
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,116
- No. I can't.
- Nope. Nope.
348
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,851
- I am not going to be...
- Do you like that?
349
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,988
I am not going to be away from my girlfriend
for that long and I am not going to lie.
350
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,890
Is she really
that important to you?
351
00:15:58,892 --> 00:16:01,192
Her birthday is Thanksgiving.
352
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,662
Assuming that the infection
rates don't go crazy,
353
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:07,365
we could go spend Thanksgiving
354
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:10,068
you know with either
our extended family in Utah.
355
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,903
You can spend Thanksgiving
with dad.
356
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:14,238
- Gabe and I will go and find a hotel.
- No.
357
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,606
No. That doesn't...
358
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,175
Yeah. We could turn up.
359
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,910
I don't want to do Thanksgiving
360
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:22,380
without all of my kids that
are able to be with me.
361
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,582
I am not going to have them
go down to some hotel
362
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,484
for two weeks or something.
I am just not gonna...
363
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:29,954
No, no, no.
364
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:33,524
Okay, can I say that for one,
this is very unfair for mom as well,
365
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,294
because you guys don't want
to do it dad doesn't want to do it
366
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:38,096
and mom in this like really
hard placed.
367
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,931
No. That's what we
are saying to mom right now.
368
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:41,399
We are saying Mom,
you should do it,
369
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:43,701
but I can't do that.
370
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,670
- I can't do that.
- I am sure, mom.
371
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,773
-You can do this entire part -You can do
this and tear apart our family I don't care.
372
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:51,109
Garrison, you are really close
to having a down payment.
373
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,244
Then it's dad's problem,
not mine.
374
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,313
Like, we are not going to play
this game anymore.
375
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:58,349
- I'm not really interested in being drastic.
- I am not mad out at you.
376
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,650
I am trying to be
dead mad at dad.
377
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,085
I am not trying to be drastic.
378
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,420
I am trying to find out
a solution.
379
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:05,490
- We are tired of not seeing our dad.
- He has 19 other kids.
380
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:08,459
- He has 15 other kids...
- How about the fact that he has been at Robyn's
381
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:09,327
for nine months.
382
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,631
You know, I know Robyn,
bless her heart,
383
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,933
Robyn has to make
the decisions that she makes
384
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:19,637
because she is trying to make
it so Kody can see the kids.
385
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:20,805
My life is very different.
386
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,074
I have independent adult
children that I live with.
387
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:27,045
I don't know what Kody does
with his time. I don't' track it.
388
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,614
- Guys, okay, look.
- This is stupid.
389
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:31,482
I am going to call dad right
now and I will tell him...
390
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,718
I am going to be like Dad,
sorry I'll see you February.
391
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,788
Guys, okay. Bring it in.
392
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:39,023
We are going to talk about
Thanksgiving and Christmas.
393
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:40,858
So, I think in the past
nine months
394
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,161
since Covid has been around,
395
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:47,131
we have probably seen Kody
just a handful of times honestly.
396
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:50,601
Listen, I am open to going
to Thanksgiving somewhere.
397
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,337
I already told dad pretty much I
thought that's what we would do.
398
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:55,139
Isn't Christine travelling too?
399
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,241
I know... I don't know...
I don't know.
400
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,477
We are going to get together in
a day or so and she is going to.
401
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,879
- We are going to decide.
- Then decide--
402
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,514
If she is travelling
and she is cool with it
403
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:06,217
why don't we just do
Thanksgiving with Christine?
404
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,653
- Dad can do his [bleep], and we will do ours.
- Okay.
405
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:11,389
If Christine is travelling,
would you want to travel...
406
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:12,223
- Yes, yes.
- or would we--
407
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,825
I would absolutely love that.
408
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:16,994
If we have the family together all
socially distant, we will figure it out.
409
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:20,198
- Okay, so, if Christine decides to stay here...
- Then, let's stay.
410
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:22,066
And you would just...
411
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,835
-And I would social distance
-Social distance and hang out with...
412
00:18:23,837 --> 00:18:25,336
But I am not gonna...
413
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:28,206
- I am not gonna...
- No. I don't want you to stop seeing your girlfriend.
414
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,007
And Christine doesn't care
if I see my girlfriend.
415
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,375
I will go over to her house.
416
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:34,679
My kids are very attached
to Christine. I mean they are.
417
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:37,381
I love Janelle's kids.
I adore them.
418
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,450
They're just part of my soul.
419
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:43,454
I am with you whatever you want to do
because essentially you are my lifeline, Mom.
420
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,156
You are the only way
I get around anywhere.
421
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,758
So, I don't really have
a choice.
422
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,728
But we are going to talk to
dad about this. This is ridiculous.
423
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:53,164
I am tired of it. It is
literally ruining our family.
424
00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:55,700
No, this whole day
has been exhausting.
425
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:57,869
I think I am going to now
and put on my pajamas
426
00:18:57,871 --> 00:19:01,706
and watch TV for the rest of
the night because I am brain fried.
427
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,908
I mean, my kids,
my boys and Kody.
428
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:07,578
They are in these very opposite
camps and there is no given and take.
429
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:08,746
It is just talk, talk, talk.
430
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,082
Try to convince, convince,
convince your point of view.
431
00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:12,516
That's it.
432
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:13,851
I have been trying
for nine months
433
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:15,386
to get us to find
some sort of middle ground
434
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,021
and there is no give
on any side.
435
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:22,994
You know when I went to Kody
and I was like,
436
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,029
how in the heck are you guys
doing this?
437
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,631
I am just trying to...
I am just...
438
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,132
I am trying...
439
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:29,967
It's like...
440
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,502
I don't know.
441
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:35,072
Kody came and stayed for like five
or six days and I am kind of like, wow.
442
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,240
This is lot of work.
443
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:39,343
I had Kody at my house like
once or twice a week.
444
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,712
Lately, it has been constantly.
445
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,115
And, I am sure that
every plural wife is like,
446
00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:46,250
"That's the way you want it."
And I am like...
447
00:19:58,997 --> 00:20:00,531
[Janelle]
With our social distancing,
448
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,400
we aren't celebrating
birthdays together.
449
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:05,670
So, I still did get a gift for
Robyn. Her birthday was recently.
450
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,071
So, I am going to go
drop it off.
451
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:09,540
- Hey.
- Hey.
452
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,275
I have a birthday present
for you.
453
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:13,010
- Oh.
- I don't know if you want to
454
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,979
- spray it down or whatever.
- Oh.
455
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:19,984
So, one of the rules that Kody says that
he and Robyn and Mary, I guess, follow
456
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,787
is it they wipe down all
the mail, or spray it.
457
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:27,124
Whatever's coming into the
house, groceries, with disinfectant.
458
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:31,095
- What is it?
- So this is a warmer so your towels are hot.
459
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,830
Like I'm not someone
who wraps presents.
460
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,766
I-I don't do well at it and
just I'm not someone
461
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,169
who necessarily thinks it's
all that important.
462
00:20:38,171 --> 00:20:39,870
- Oh, cool.
- Like a spa.
463
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,272
- [chuckles]
- So...
464
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:44,108
You give gifts that
make me self-care.
465
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,711
Janelle's always giving gifts
that are all about like
466
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,246
kinda, taking care of yourself.
467
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,480
I really need this.
468
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:52,216
Yeah, I've become really big
about that, like, the last...
469
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,851
four-five years, for sure.
470
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:56,654
My wives sometimes will do
super gifts for each other.
471
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:58,389
Like this towel warmer
is, like, genius.
472
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:03,060
But when you receive like
an angel every single year.
473
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:04,295
Or a nutcracker.
474
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,530
If you have a collection
of nutcrackers,
475
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:10,501
it does not mean
I want more nutcrackers
476
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,703
for Christmas,
you know what I mean.
477
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:14,338
- Do you wanna visit for a lil' bit?
- Sure, yeah.
478
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:15,873
- Let me... Let me pull this inside.
- Okay.
479
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,775
And go ahead and sit down, uh...
480
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,943
On these chairs over here?
481
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,145
Yeah, just whatever
you want over there.
482
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:23,014
There's camping chair
and then there's...
483
00:21:23,016 --> 00:21:24,849
Cool.
484
00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:27,351
I never think I wanna
live in the trees.
485
00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:30,421
But when I come up here
I'm like, you know...
486
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:34,592
See what, I think clearing 'em
around the house is better.
487
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:38,562
'Cause, like, you're in the trees,
but you still have some blue sky.
488
00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:40,931
I mean, it is nice
'cause I feel like
489
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:42,333
it's a whole different
place here.
490
00:21:42,335 --> 00:21:45,369
It'll make a great rental for when
we build that on our property.
491
00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:46,704
If we ever get there.
492
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,072
Oh, no, it's happening.
493
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:49,607
It has to happen.
[soft chuckle]
494
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:51,676
- That's all I think about.
- I mean we're so close.
495
00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:53,344
But, I mean,
the whole COVID thing
496
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:55,313
shut down a lot of
the interaction.
497
00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,381
That's been really,
really stressful.
498
00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:59,383
Like I've been really, like...
499
00:21:59,385 --> 00:22:03,754
Really, I've been trying
to mind my P's and Q's,
500
00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:05,890
but I've been really
worried about,
501
00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:08,125
like, you and Kody and stuff.
502
00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:09,627
The distance
and stuff like that.
503
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:13,464
I've really been struggling, you know,
and I went to Kody and I was, like,
504
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,366
"How in the heck are
you guys doing this?
505
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:17,735
How could you be okay with this?
506
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,270
How is she okay with this?"
507
00:22:19,272 --> 00:22:21,672
I'm just... [sighs]
I'm just trying to...
508
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:25,409
I'm trying, uh,
it's like, [sighs]
509
00:22:25,411 --> 00:22:27,712
I don't know. It just
makes me worried.
510
00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:32,483
But he was saying that, like, in
the past you guys did do times
511
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:34,985
- where you guys were apart, but it was...
- Yeah.
512
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:37,722
You know, it wasn't like a
separation or anything. It was...
513
00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:40,191
Yeah, like, so one time
it was eight months.
514
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:41,625
- Yeah, that's what he said.
- And, it's just,
515
00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:44,562
kinda, like, he wanted
to move and I'm like, "Eh...
516
00:22:44,564 --> 00:22:46,530
I have a pretty good
job here. I don't know."
517
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:50,568
[chuckles] Yeah, he told me
that and I was like, what?
518
00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:52,336
Back when we were
living in Wyoming,
519
00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:56,707
and Kody decided he needed to go
to Utah for better employment options,
520
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:59,677
I had just gotten
settled into a career
521
00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:01,979
in Wyoming, we had these houses.
522
00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:03,180
They moved and I, uh,
523
00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:05,149
it was always, like, seems
like it's about the moves
524
00:23:05,151 --> 00:23:06,517
they were gonna
move and I'm like,
525
00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:08,853
"Nah, I got a good thing.
See you later.
526
00:23:08,855 --> 00:23:10,521
I'll come in a
while, may be."
527
00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:12,757
'Cause, I mean, I had a job
and I had a steady income
528
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:17,061
and it was good for the family for me
to keep this steady income and it was...
529
00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:18,729
I don't know.
530
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:22,533
A big part of Kody and I's
relationship is conversation.
531
00:23:22,535 --> 00:23:24,368
Incessantly talk, talk,
talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.
532
00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:25,469
We talk all the time.
533
00:23:25,471 --> 00:23:28,839
We couldn't accomplish
that over the phone.
534
00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:30,608
Look, we have
six children, okay,
535
00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:32,977
so there is more than
just conversations going on.
536
00:23:32,979 --> 00:23:34,879
'Cause I get accused
of that too.
537
00:23:34,881 --> 00:23:36,647
I think, I really...
538
00:23:36,649 --> 00:23:39,450
I love polygamy for me.
539
00:23:39,452 --> 00:23:41,819
Like, 'cause I can see that in
a monogamous relationship
540
00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:43,120
I probably just
couldn't be like,
541
00:23:43,122 --> 00:23:44,722
"You go. I'll see you
in a while."
542
00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:46,190
You know what I mean?
543
00:23:46,192 --> 00:23:48,559
- "Go live there for eight months, I'm fine."
- "See if it works out."
544
00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:50,661
"See if it works out.
May be, I'll follow."
545
00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:53,864
I mean, so that's kinda nice for
me I've always liked that freedom.
546
00:23:53,866 --> 00:23:57,168
'Cause, like, I get really
antsy, if I feel like
547
00:23:57,170 --> 00:23:59,904
I can't make the choices
that control my own life.
548
00:23:59,906 --> 00:24:02,640
Like, okay, so, I think, that's why
I, kinda, freaked out the other day.
549
00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:04,175
'Cause like, look, I'm masking.
550
00:24:04,177 --> 00:24:06,043
You know, I'm being,
pretty much, all those things,
551
00:24:06,045 --> 00:24:09,313
but the extra few steps
were just like,
552
00:24:09,315 --> 00:24:12,082
"Whoa!" That's too many
of choices being taken away
553
00:24:12,084 --> 00:24:15,553
or something. Or too many of
my something being taken away.
554
00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:19,790
There are different ideas about
what the rules are to be safe.
555
00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:22,259
I do, kind of what the CDC says,
556
00:24:22,261 --> 00:24:24,595
masks, sanitize,
social distance,
557
00:24:24,597 --> 00:24:27,798
but Kody has a whole another
list of rules that include
558
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,468
grocery pick-up, changing
your clothes when you come in.
559
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:33,504
I just, fundamentally,
rebel at that much control
560
00:24:33,506 --> 00:24:35,005
and it's just too much for me.
561
00:24:35,007 --> 00:24:37,541
I just... Yes, everybody's
gotta choose and they get
562
00:24:37,543 --> 00:24:40,377
their choice, and that's what's
so beautiful about our life.
563
00:24:40,379 --> 00:24:41,912
- I can see now...
- Yeah.
564
00:24:41,914 --> 00:24:44,882
that I was, probably, always
destined to live in a plural family.
565
00:24:44,884 --> 00:24:46,217
And it works for me a lot.
566
00:24:46,219 --> 00:24:48,652
Yeah, um, could you
please figure this out
567
00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:51,422
- so I could be in a plural family again?
- [both laughing]
568
00:24:51,424 --> 00:24:52,923
With you? [laughs]
569
00:24:52,925 --> 00:24:54,625
Oh my gosh, I'm like...
570
00:24:54,627 --> 00:24:57,928
I'm like, "This is
what it'd be like to be-
571
00:24:57,930 --> 00:25:01,065
- It would, kinda, make me...
- I never signed up for monogamy. I never did.
572
00:25:01,067 --> 00:25:02,700
[chuckles]
573
00:25:02,702 --> 00:25:06,470
[Robyn] So, Kody and I have been
married for about ten-and-a-half years.
574
00:25:06,472 --> 00:25:08,973
And throughout those
ten-and-a-half years,
575
00:25:08,975 --> 00:25:12,243
I've had Kody at my house
like once or twice a week.
576
00:25:12,245 --> 00:25:14,812
Um, lately,
it's been constantly.
577
00:25:14,814 --> 00:25:17,081
And, you know, I'm sure
that every plural wife
578
00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:18,916
is like, "Whoo, that's
the way you want it,"
579
00:25:18,918 --> 00:25:20,284
and I'm like...
580
00:25:20,351 --> 00:25:23,487
But that's not what I signed
out for, I guess, I should say.
581
00:25:23,489 --> 00:25:26,891
And then, on top of that,
he's been really unhappy.
582
00:25:26,893 --> 00:25:28,893
He's been a really
unhappy person.
583
00:25:28,895 --> 00:25:33,397
And, so it's been a lot and it's
been a challenge for our relationship.
584
00:25:33,399 --> 00:25:35,299
Right before Hunter left,
Kody came and stayed
585
00:25:35,301 --> 00:25:37,368
for five or six days
and I'm, kinda, like...
586
00:25:38,236 --> 00:25:40,304
"Wow! This is a lot of work."
587
00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:44,341
I mean, like, honestly, like, he stayed
for almost a week before Hunter left,
588
00:25:44,343 --> 00:25:46,210
and I thought, "Oh my word."
589
00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:48,579
Like I don't have my freedom.
590
00:25:48,581 --> 00:25:51,448
I do... like my independence.
591
00:25:51,450 --> 00:25:53,050
I really do.
592
00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:55,152
And when Kody's
around, it's fine.
593
00:25:55,154 --> 00:25:57,955
We do have a tendency to have
more fun when he's not there though.
594
00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:01,258
Listen, Linda.
595
00:26:01,260 --> 00:26:05,596
I'm just saying they could
send him my direction
596
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:08,899
if they need a break from him.
597
00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:11,335
It's not what I signed
up for. I mean, like,
598
00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:13,337
I mean, I know this
sounds just really...
599
00:26:13,339 --> 00:26:15,306
funky, but, like, I had,
600
00:26:15,308 --> 00:26:19,009
you know, people that wanted to date me and
that I was, you know, kind of, you know,
601
00:26:19,011 --> 00:26:20,444
friendly with, or whatever.
602
00:26:20,446 --> 00:26:24,081
They talked about living, you know,
they wanted to get more serious.
603
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:26,584
A couple wanted to marry me,
kind of a thing.
604
00:26:26,586 --> 00:26:29,353
- And I was like, "No, I wanna live plural marriage."
- Yeah.
605
00:26:29,355 --> 00:26:31,789
If I wanted to live
monogamy, I could have.
606
00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:33,357
I mean, like, it's not like...
607
00:26:34,025 --> 00:26:35,759
I had no other choices.
608
00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:42,333
I could've had a very happy, successful
relationship with some other men.
609
00:26:43,969 --> 00:26:45,035
It's just the truth.
610
00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:47,972
I'm sorry, I hate saying it
'cause it sounds like
611
00:26:47,974 --> 00:26:51,575
I'm bragging or something,
but I'm not, it's just is the truth.
612
00:26:51,577 --> 00:26:54,411
I had proposals before Kody
613
00:26:54,980 --> 00:26:57,381
and I turned them down.
614
00:26:57,383 --> 00:26:59,917
And I said, "No, I wanna
live plural marriage," and
615
00:26:59,919 --> 00:27:02,319
here I am and
I'm like, "Hey, guys...
616
00:27:02,988 --> 00:27:05,122
I wanna live plural marriage."
617
00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:07,091
Yeah, I don't really
have any desire...
618
00:27:08,193 --> 00:27:10,761
- to not live plural marriage.
- Yeah.
619
00:27:10,763 --> 00:27:12,096
A lot of independence.
620
00:27:12,098 --> 00:27:14,131
I could just go to bed
with a book and I love it.
621
00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:15,766
- Love it. Love it. Yeah.
- I know and that's not
622
00:27:15,768 --> 00:27:18,002
really something that
happens when Kody's there.
623
00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:19,803
It's a different
type of routine.
624
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:22,606
And I like that
independence, you know,
625
00:27:22,608 --> 00:27:23,974
I do too.
626
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,809
- Yeah.
- I'm starting to get really cold.
627
00:27:25,811 --> 00:27:29,813
Okay. I have been really,
like, surprised
628
00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:33,784
and kinda horrified in ways
because I've been like,
629
00:27:33,786 --> 00:27:36,286
"Wait, I thought we
were this cohesive unit."
630
00:27:36,288 --> 00:27:38,188
We haven't been.
631
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:43,060
And, it's been
a huge disappointment for me.
632
00:27:43,062 --> 00:27:45,763
- [Robyn] It as good to see ya.
- It was good to visit.
633
00:27:45,765 --> 00:27:46,730
Yeah, yeah. All right.
634
00:27:46,732 --> 00:27:48,399
- See you soon.
- See ya. Take care.
635
00:27:48,401 --> 00:27:49,800
I guess it is, what it is.
636
00:27:49,802 --> 00:27:51,735
I just have to respect
where she's at.
637
00:27:55,540 --> 00:27:57,141
So you're going to Utah?
638
00:27:57,143 --> 00:27:59,677
Janelle is indicating
by her actions
639
00:27:59,679 --> 00:28:02,780
that she would rather have
the boys around than me.
640
00:28:02,782 --> 00:28:05,783
You don't think I'm aware? You
don't think I'm into being careful?
641
00:28:05,785 --> 00:28:07,151
I think you understand
where I'm at
642
00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:08,719
I think you understand
what I'm talking about
643
00:28:08,721 --> 00:28:10,788
and I want you
to just respect that.
644
00:28:10,790 --> 00:28:12,222
Yeah, [bleep] off.
645
00:28:23,468 --> 00:28:25,936
[Christine] Hey,
we're in a different spot.
646
00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:29,139
- Just gotta change it up a little bit.
- I like it.
647
00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:31,809
So, hopefully, now
that we're in November
648
00:28:31,811 --> 00:28:34,745
and the holidays
are literally upon us,
649
00:28:34,747 --> 00:28:38,315
we can make a definite decision
650
00:28:38,317 --> 00:28:40,284
on what to do and how to do it.
651
00:28:40,286 --> 00:28:43,020
So that the family can
start interacting again.
652
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,122
This is great.
653
00:28:45,124 --> 00:28:46,724
So we're gonna
meet together again.
654
00:28:46,726 --> 00:28:48,592
My position hasn't changed.
655
00:28:48,594 --> 00:28:51,195
I mean, initially, Kody came
up with this list of rules.
656
00:28:51,197 --> 00:28:53,997
That I actually wondered where
this list had been
657
00:28:53,999 --> 00:28:55,733
for the last nine months,
but whatever.
658
00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:58,135
So the list is now in existence.
659
00:28:58,137 --> 00:29:00,971
And, supposedly, these are the
rules that they are following
660
00:29:00,973 --> 00:29:05,375
at Robyn's house, that Kody
wants us all to embrace.
661
00:29:05,377 --> 00:29:08,378
You have to take this
like you would
662
00:29:09,647 --> 00:29:11,181
religion and scripture.
663
00:29:11,183 --> 00:29:12,750
I mean, we are doing
most of these things,
664
00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:14,618
but we don't wipe our mail.
665
00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:16,487
We don't wipe our groceries.
666
00:29:16,489 --> 00:29:17,855
[Robyn] Janelle, come on.
[chuckles]
667
00:29:17,857 --> 00:29:21,959
No, I mean, I'm sorry,
I think this is overkill.
668
00:29:21,961 --> 00:29:24,895
So think, it was really,
we paused the last meeting
669
00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:26,430
'cause it was
getting a little bit intense.
670
00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:29,099
We're coming back together
again to finalize our plans.
671
00:29:30,401 --> 00:29:32,302
- Hi, ladies.
- [Janelle] Hi.
672
00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:33,570
How's it going?
673
00:29:33,572 --> 00:29:36,507
[Janelle] Like, it's a real,
huge, point of contention.
674
00:29:36,509 --> 00:29:37,708
Maybe the biggest...
675
00:29:38,576 --> 00:29:40,577
problem we've ever
had in our marriage,
676
00:29:40,579 --> 00:29:44,715
our biggest contention, maybe, in
our whole marriage has been this.
677
00:29:44,717 --> 00:29:48,652
On that note, ladies, we're
here because of holidays?
678
00:29:48,654 --> 00:29:51,054
I think we just... I thought, it would
be good to come back and just,
679
00:29:51,056 --> 00:29:52,356
kinda, make a final plan.
680
00:29:52,358 --> 00:29:56,794
My boys are pretty much
orbiting Christine.
681
00:29:56,796 --> 00:30:00,364
No, okay, so I need to say
my children...
682
00:30:00,366 --> 00:30:04,368
Like, Christine is huge
in their world.
683
00:30:04,370 --> 00:30:07,838
She was the one who stayed with 'em
when they were younger and I was working.
684
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,674
They said to me, "Mom, we'll
do whatever Christine does."
685
00:30:10,676 --> 00:30:14,578
"If Christine decides to stay
here, then we'll stay here."
686
00:30:14,580 --> 00:30:16,847
So, I mean, we're inclined
to travel for Thanksgiving
687
00:30:16,849 --> 00:30:18,415
and be here for Christmas.
688
00:30:18,417 --> 00:30:20,851
But my boys, uh, it's,
honestly, Christine,
689
00:30:20,853 --> 00:30:23,520
your make or break,
what they're gonna wanna do.
690
00:30:23,522 --> 00:30:24,721
Oh, gosh!
691
00:30:24,723 --> 00:30:26,757
- No pressure. No pressure.
- It's a lot of responsibility.
692
00:30:26,759 --> 00:30:28,725
[Christine] That is
way too much pressure.
693
00:30:28,727 --> 00:30:31,228
I don't know, this is just all
new information for me too.
694
00:30:31,230 --> 00:30:34,131
I don't know if we're gonna
be able to get together or not
695
00:30:34,133 --> 00:30:36,300
which is really, really,
super hard and heart-breaking.
696
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:37,801
I get it!
697
00:30:37,803 --> 00:30:39,803
They wanna focus on
doing things with Christine
698
00:30:39,805 --> 00:30:42,739
Christine doesn't make any rules
or make anybody abide by them.
699
00:30:42,741 --> 00:30:44,374
I'm the heavy in the family.
700
00:30:44,376 --> 00:30:46,543
Um, I talked to Aspyn and Mitch,
701
00:30:46,545 --> 00:30:48,879
Mykelti, Tony and Paedon
had told them all the rules
702
00:30:48,881 --> 00:30:51,281
that they needed follow if they
want to come here for Christmas.
703
00:30:51,283 --> 00:30:53,851
And they said, they
couldn't follow them.
704
00:30:53,853 --> 00:30:55,485
I talked to my girls
and told them,
705
00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:57,054
"You know, whatever
you wanna do."
706
00:30:57,056 --> 00:30:59,823
We can do the two week
quarantine really strict.
707
00:30:59,825 --> 00:31:01,458
Or we could still go
to Aspyn and Mitch's
708
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:02,826
whatever you wanna do."
And they wanna go to
709
00:31:02,828 --> 00:31:04,161
Aspyn and Mitch's.
710
00:31:04,163 --> 00:31:07,231
So we're going to go to Aspyn
and Mitch's for Thanksgiving,
711
00:31:07,233 --> 00:31:09,333
but we will
be here for Christmas.
712
00:31:09,335 --> 00:31:11,602
I was dreading telling
them so much and so I just,
713
00:31:11,604 --> 00:31:15,572
said it at the very beginning of the
conversation and got it done with.
714
00:31:15,574 --> 00:31:17,841
'Cause I was so worried
how they would take it.
715
00:31:17,843 --> 00:31:20,577
I know that it's hard.
716
00:31:20,579 --> 00:31:23,347
That I am making
a conscious decision
717
00:31:23,349 --> 00:31:26,917
to separate us
for a family holiday.
718
00:31:28,119 --> 00:31:29,820
So, you are going to Utah?
719
00:31:29,822 --> 00:31:31,755
- [Robyn] I think so, yeah.
- And you are going to Utah?
720
00:31:32,590 --> 00:31:34,124
[Meri] Wow.
721
00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:36,393
They are all saying
they wanna get back together,
722
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:39,129
but Christine has made
it clear to me now,
723
00:31:39,131 --> 00:31:42,332
that she would rather be
with Aspyn and Mitch
724
00:31:42,334 --> 00:31:45,969
and Tony and Mykelti
than with me.
725
00:31:45,971 --> 00:31:48,772
And Janelle is indicating
by her actions
726
00:31:48,774 --> 00:31:52,075
that she would rather have
the boys around than me.
727
00:31:53,111 --> 00:31:54,378
[Robyn]
So, this is gonna be weird.
728
00:31:54,380 --> 00:31:56,914
This will be my first
Thanksgiving without everybody.
729
00:31:56,916 --> 00:31:59,483
- Well, you guys will do Thanksgiving, right?
- I know.
730
00:31:59,485 --> 00:32:01,752
I am talking about everybody.
Everybody, everybody.
731
00:32:01,754 --> 00:32:04,621
I am not everybody. I
know I like to think that I am.
732
00:32:04,623 --> 00:32:06,823
- [Christine chuckles]
- [Meri laughing] Right?
733
00:32:06,825 --> 00:32:08,191
I don't think that's what you--
734
00:32:08,193 --> 00:32:11,028
Yeah, Meri. We cannot do
Thanksgiving together.
735
00:32:11,030 --> 00:32:12,562
I'll do Thanksgiving
with you, Robyn.
736
00:32:12,564 --> 00:32:14,331
It's a little frustrating.
737
00:32:14,333 --> 00:32:17,768
Because everybody's been
complaining and making comments
738
00:32:17,770 --> 00:32:19,870
"Why can't we get together?
Why can't we get together?"
739
00:32:19,872 --> 00:32:21,672
Well, now we can
and you choose not to.
740
00:32:21,674 --> 00:32:24,408
What have I been doing,
like, for the past six months?
741
00:32:24,410 --> 00:32:26,376
Why have I been doing this,
you know?
742
00:32:26,378 --> 00:32:29,146
Well, I appreciate where
everybody's at.
743
00:32:29,148 --> 00:32:32,316
- And, um...
- [Robyn] You appreciate it?
744
00:32:32,318 --> 00:32:35,018
Yeah, I mean everybody's making
choices about where they are going.
745
00:32:35,020 --> 00:32:36,486
You mean respect it?
746
00:32:36,488 --> 00:32:38,622
- [Kody] I respect it. Yeah.
- Okay. Appreciate...
747
00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:40,524
I don't like the word
appreciate. Can I just...
748
00:32:40,526 --> 00:32:43,026
- Can I just, uh...
- [Kody] Well, okay.
749
00:32:43,028 --> 00:32:45,595
I am gonna respect
what everybody's position is.
750
00:32:45,597 --> 00:32:48,298
But I do wanna say this
that we do have an obligation.
751
00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:50,767
We have an obligation to a
very large amount of people.
752
00:32:50,769 --> 00:32:53,103
[inhales] To be able
to keep working.
753
00:32:53,105 --> 00:32:56,807
You know, we all work with
people. And this issue of covid
754
00:32:56,809 --> 00:32:59,609
becomes very economic issue
for our family
755
00:32:59,611 --> 00:33:01,845
and the families of those
people we do business with.
756
00:33:01,847 --> 00:33:04,147
[Kody] Garrison works with
people. He could harm them.
757
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:07,951
Christine has an employee. That employee
could get it... take it to their family.
758
00:33:07,953 --> 00:33:11,188
It could destroy them.
Destroy their livelihood.
759
00:33:11,190 --> 00:33:13,690
You know I think I have
struggled to communicate
760
00:33:13,692 --> 00:33:16,059
where I am at because I realized
761
00:33:16,061 --> 00:33:19,529
that the boys really just don't get
why we're doing what we're doing.
762
00:33:20,398 --> 00:33:22,566
'Cause not a foot soldier here.
763
00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:24,301
I am, really, kind of a general,
764
00:33:24,303 --> 00:33:26,803
whether I am good at it or not.
765
00:33:26,805 --> 00:33:29,606
Our struggles
in our family relationships
766
00:33:29,608 --> 00:33:33,710
is probably because I suck
at them.
767
00:33:33,712 --> 00:33:35,812
[Janelle] I felt all of a sudden
Kody's doing this bait and switch.
768
00:33:35,814 --> 00:33:38,949
It's like, "Oh, I respect it. But I
am gonna put you on this guilt trip,
769
00:33:38,951 --> 00:33:41,084
so that you will change
your mind."
770
00:33:41,086 --> 00:33:44,087
So, I don't really respect it. But I am
gonna tell you I respect your decision.
771
00:33:45,723 --> 00:33:48,859
But I am not telling you
how to live your life, anymore.
772
00:33:48,861 --> 00:33:52,396
[Kody] You guys are independent
women. You can do whatever you want.
773
00:33:52,398 --> 00:33:56,099
I would ask you, seriously,
to consider,
774
00:33:56,101 --> 00:33:59,269
a much bigger picture, the
picture that I have to see.
775
00:34:00,805 --> 00:34:03,440
No guilt trip. Just a little
prick to you conscience,
776
00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:05,509
and you guys decide what to do.
777
00:34:05,511 --> 00:34:08,011
'Cause I am not gonna tell
this family how they do it.
778
00:34:08,013 --> 00:34:11,615
I am going to lead the way
that I think is the right way.
779
00:34:11,617 --> 00:34:14,184
He is not trying
to guilt trip us.
780
00:34:14,186 --> 00:34:16,219
I am pretty sure
that was a guilt trip.
781
00:34:16,221 --> 00:34:22,359
If he wants me to make a
choice between him and my kids,
782
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,828
my kids will always win.
783
00:34:25,396 --> 00:34:27,531
Every single time.
784
00:34:28,766 --> 00:34:31,268
[Janelle] You understand that
if I stay here, I would be alone.
785
00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:33,437
Like alone. At Thanksgiving.
786
00:34:33,439 --> 00:34:35,072
- [Kody] That's...
- And do you think I am going off...
787
00:34:35,074 --> 00:34:39,342
- Sweetheart, that is a choice you are making based on...
- To not... to not like...
788
00:34:39,344 --> 00:34:41,845
You think I am going off and I
am just not gonna wear a mask...
789
00:34:41,847 --> 00:34:43,580
- [Janelle] And not do other things?
- No, nope, nope.
790
00:34:43,582 --> 00:34:47,551
[Kody] I am not making accusations.
I am asking you people to consider.
791
00:34:47,553 --> 00:34:52,589
And then... and then shoulder
that responsibility for yourself.
792
00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:55,826
Because I have certainly
shouldered a lot of responsibility.
793
00:34:55,828 --> 00:34:58,962
He acts like
I am not doing anything.
794
00:34:58,964 --> 00:35:02,599
I wear a mask. I social
distance. I sanitize my hands.
795
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:04,935
I do all the things that
the CDC says to do.
796
00:35:04,937 --> 00:35:08,872
But because I don't follow all of
his ten commandments, his rules,
797
00:35:08,874 --> 00:35:10,774
I am not following
any rules, apparently.
798
00:35:12,076 --> 00:35:13,677
That's all I have gotta say
about that.
799
00:35:15,313 --> 00:35:17,681
I hope everyone enjoys
their Thanksgiving.
800
00:35:23,254 --> 00:35:25,455
Well, I guess, I am out.
I am leaving.
801
00:35:26,157 --> 00:35:27,424
[Janelle laughs]
802
00:35:29,594 --> 00:35:32,262
[Christine] I am 100%
have a clear conscience.
803
00:35:32,264 --> 00:35:34,564
- [Kody] Okay.
- [Christine] On the choice I have made for Thanksgiving.
804
00:35:34,566 --> 00:35:37,634
Well, I have told you this so that
you could share with your children
805
00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:40,370
so they can understand
the perspective instead of...
806
00:35:40,372 --> 00:35:42,806
making phone calls
to me, telling me,
807
00:35:42,808 --> 00:35:44,908
Dad, hey, you are really...
808
00:35:44,910 --> 00:35:48,311
Your rules are taking a toll
on our family.
809
00:35:48,313 --> 00:35:52,415
You can continue in the vain
of your little world,
810
00:35:52,417 --> 00:35:55,886
but I want you
to understand mine.
811
00:35:55,888 --> 00:35:57,354
But it sounds like a guilt trip
812
00:35:57,356 --> 00:35:59,923
for the choices that I am
making so I am not alone.
813
00:35:59,925 --> 00:36:02,993
- Kody there would be no way...
- It's about--
814
00:36:02,995 --> 00:36:05,962
There is no way that Garrison
will be out of the house
815
00:36:05,964 --> 00:36:09,132
in time for me to be clear
for Thanksgiving.
816
00:36:09,134 --> 00:36:13,103
So, I would be alone. So, why
would I wanna stay and be alone?
817
00:36:13,105 --> 00:36:16,306
Jul, this is actually a play
as much as anything.
818
00:36:16,308 --> 00:36:19,342
- So, that you and I can have...
- It sounded like a guilt trip.
819
00:36:19,344 --> 00:36:22,712
Like, "I hope you know that you
are jeopardizing all these people."
820
00:36:22,714 --> 00:36:25,815
You don' think I am aware? You
don't think, I mean, being careful?
821
00:36:25,817 --> 00:36:27,250
Okay.
822
00:36:27,252 --> 00:36:28,685
I think you understand
where I am at.
823
00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:30,086
I think you understand
what I am talking about.
824
00:36:30,088 --> 00:36:32,455
And I think you understand
the big picture that I have
825
00:36:32,457 --> 00:36:34,658
and I want you to just
respect that.
826
00:36:34,660 --> 00:36:35,692
Okay?
827
00:36:38,229 --> 00:36:39,396
Yeah, [bleep] off.
828
00:37:04,488 --> 00:37:05,722
Am I being a bully?
829
00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:08,225
I don't understand why Janelle
felt like she have to left.
830
00:37:08,227 --> 00:37:09,759
'Cause Janelle's hands
were tied, Kody.
831
00:37:10,861 --> 00:37:15,398
Janelle's living in a home,
where her kids are adults.
832
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,969
And they are making the
decision to hang out socially.
833
00:37:18,971 --> 00:37:22,172
And she is got you
on one end of the spectrum.
834
00:37:22,174 --> 00:37:25,075
And then, maybe Gabe on
the other end of the spectrum.
835
00:37:25,077 --> 00:37:27,777
And she probably feels
different everyday.
836
00:37:27,779 --> 00:37:29,980
She is getting crap
from both sides.
837
00:37:29,982 --> 00:37:33,617
Your speech was very forceful. I
know you are probably trying to be polite,
838
00:37:33,619 --> 00:37:37,454
and she probably has to deal
with that kind of crap from her kids.
839
00:37:37,989 --> 00:37:40,056
All day long.
840
00:37:40,058 --> 00:37:43,126
I think it's irresponsible for
him as a leader of the family
841
00:37:43,128 --> 00:37:46,263
to ignore half of his family.
842
00:37:46,265 --> 00:37:50,600
And not be with them at all.
I think that's irresponsible.
843
00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:53,336
If he is the dad
of all these kids...
844
00:37:55,539 --> 00:37:58,908
Whatever. Everyone's gotta make
their own choices. He does too.
845
00:37:58,910 --> 00:38:03,613
People are making choices.
And I feel like I am getting blamed.
846
00:38:04,548 --> 00:38:07,017
And I guess, that's just
the way it is.
847
00:38:07,551 --> 00:38:09,019
[Kody sighs]
848
00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:12,455
Here's the thing. This is
what I know about myself.
849
00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:15,058
I know that if somebody
in this family dies,
850
00:38:15,060 --> 00:38:17,627
it's gonna be a bunch of other
people I hate because of it.
851
00:38:18,362 --> 00:38:19,963
I think Christine hates me
852
00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:22,666
partly because Truely
almost died.
853
00:38:23,768 --> 00:38:25,568
And she thought that
I had been negligent.
854
00:38:26,437 --> 00:38:28,905
Okay. Changes relationships.
855
00:38:28,907 --> 00:38:32,108
[sinister instrumental
music playing]
856
00:38:32,110 --> 00:38:35,979
[Christine] I am taking Truely
to the doctor. She is lethargic.
857
00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:40,784
She doesn't have a lot of
energy. She is just sitting there.
858
00:38:40,786 --> 00:38:41,985
[Christine] You wanna see
the doctor?
859
00:38:43,287 --> 00:38:44,620
[softly] Yeah.
860
00:38:44,622 --> 00:38:46,623
- [Robyn] Did you see the text from Christine?
- What's wrong?
861
00:38:46,625 --> 00:38:49,859
Well, Truely. She has taken
her to the emergency room.
862
00:38:49,861 --> 00:38:51,061
To the emergency?
863
00:38:58,302 --> 00:39:00,303
- [Kody] One of the nurses told us...
- [Christine sobs]
864
00:39:00,305 --> 00:39:03,840
She said normally cases like
this, we don't expect them to leave.
865
00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:05,875
[Christine sobbing]
866
00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:08,845
The reason I have never
brought this up before
867
00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:12,882
is because I didn't feel like I had to make
the arguments so forcefully in the past.
868
00:39:12,884 --> 00:39:15,585
I don't wanna have
one of my children die.
869
00:39:15,587 --> 00:39:18,955
And then me hate the people,
who weren't doing the rules.
870
00:39:18,957 --> 00:39:22,225
And then end up
in a divorce with whoever...
871
00:39:22,227 --> 00:39:25,962
Whoever's child died, 'cause
that's pretty much a given anymore
872
00:39:25,964 --> 00:39:28,064
in our culture.
873
00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:30,500
I am sad that you are not
gonna be here for Thanksgiving
874
00:39:30,502 --> 00:39:31,901
but I understand.
875
00:39:31,903 --> 00:39:34,070
- [Robyn sighs]
- Sorry, it's because of the...
876
00:39:34,072 --> 00:39:35,739
Kids just... They can't do it.
877
00:39:35,741 --> 00:39:39,409
And, it's been a long time
since we've seen them.
878
00:39:39,411 --> 00:39:42,612
And they are missing everybody.
And the girls miss them so much.
879
00:39:42,614 --> 00:39:44,581
- All I am thinking is...
- It's hard, isn't it?
880
00:39:44,583 --> 00:39:46,049
- You run into...
- It is hard.
881
00:39:46,051 --> 00:39:48,284
- to play with the people who are breaking the rules...
- I know.
882
00:39:49,820 --> 00:39:52,188
- [Kody mumbles] - I know, I
know how you feel about that.
883
00:39:52,190 --> 00:39:53,823
Makes me jealous, in a way.
884
00:39:53,825 --> 00:39:55,224
[Robyn laughs]
885
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:57,527
But I mean because they are rules
that I have imposed upon myself
886
00:39:57,529 --> 00:39:59,963
for good reason. But
they... It makes me jealous.
887
00:39:59,965 --> 00:40:02,532
[Meri] Every time I see
somebody on social media,
888
00:40:02,534 --> 00:40:04,768
getting together with
their friends, hangin' out,
889
00:40:04,770 --> 00:40:06,202
and I am like, I wanna do that.
890
00:40:06,204 --> 00:40:08,872
- [Robyn laughs] - I
wanna be with my people.
891
00:40:08,874 --> 00:40:11,207
- I wanna hug. I wanna...
- Yeah.
892
00:40:11,209 --> 00:40:16,713
You know. And I literally have
spent this summer here.
893
00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:20,650
I don't know why this couldn't
have been resolved, like,
894
00:40:21,218 --> 00:40:22,752
four or five months ago.
895
00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:27,390
You know, like, what am I
supposed to say? You know, he's...
896
00:40:27,392 --> 00:40:30,760
spending the time at Robyn's
'cause she is following the rules.
897
00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:34,397
He's not spending the time at Christine's
because she is not following the rules.
898
00:40:34,399 --> 00:40:36,966
He's not spending time
at my house
899
00:40:36,968 --> 00:40:39,068
because he just doesn't spend
time at my house
900
00:40:39,070 --> 00:40:40,637
but I am following the rules.
901
00:40:40,639 --> 00:40:43,273
I honestly don't even know
what to say here.
902
00:40:43,275 --> 00:40:45,642
How I can even contribute
to this conversation?
903
00:40:47,077 --> 00:40:49,946
[sinister instrumental
music playing]
904
00:40:49,948 --> 00:40:51,581
[water splashing]
905
00:40:55,219 --> 00:40:58,154
So, I just left the discussion
about the holidays,
906
00:40:58,156 --> 00:41:01,458
which I thought was gonna be
a little team conversation.
907
00:41:01,859 --> 00:41:02,959
Um...
908
00:41:04,361 --> 00:41:06,429
And you know, I guess,
I am just frustrated,
909
00:41:06,431 --> 00:41:09,833
because I am between a
rock and a hard place here.
910
00:41:09,835 --> 00:41:14,070
I am having to make sure that my
kids are safe. My kids are mentally well.
911
00:41:14,072 --> 00:41:17,974
I am giving them the best chance
and then I am having to choose,
912
00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:19,876
these rules that the family has,
913
00:41:19,878 --> 00:41:22,011
which aren't very different
from my rules.
914
00:41:22,013 --> 00:41:23,580
That I am stuck.
I am stuck here.
915
00:41:23,582 --> 00:41:25,548
And I am like, I don't wanna
spend Thanksgiving alone.
916
00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:30,086
My family's all being quarantined.
I am not being dangerous here.
917
00:41:30,088 --> 00:41:32,188
Look, I mean,
he is just condescending.
918
00:41:32,190 --> 00:41:35,325
He is acting like I am making
irresponsible decisions.
919
00:41:35,327 --> 00:41:38,495
He acts like I don't have a
big picture. That is not the case.
920
00:41:38,497 --> 00:41:41,531
And it's frustrating to me
that he's trying to make
921
00:41:41,533 --> 00:41:44,133
it sound like I am all
these horrible things.
922
00:41:45,469 --> 00:41:47,704
[Kody reading]
923
00:41:47,706 --> 00:41:51,174
This is so stupid. This is not
how a family should operate.
924
00:41:51,176 --> 00:41:54,077
I am tired of being
questioned. I am just tired of it.
925
00:41:54,079 --> 00:41:57,347
This isn't the family
that I signed up for.
926
00:41:57,349 --> 00:41:59,315
There's like a wedge between us.
927
00:42:00,451 --> 00:42:02,785
I am just worried if
it's gonna start making them
928
00:42:02,787 --> 00:42:04,320
start wanting to be
around the family.
929
00:42:04,322 --> 00:42:06,723
Because they don't
care to be around us.
930
00:42:06,725 --> 00:42:09,459
[Janelle] Hey, here we are.
Having Thanksgiving.
931
00:42:09,461 --> 00:42:11,294
Alone.
932
00:42:11,296 --> 00:42:13,129
[Christine]
I am just glad that
933
00:42:13,131 --> 00:42:15,665
I didn't let covid
control my life.
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00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:17,700
[Kody] To our family.
935
00:42:18,469 --> 00:42:19,936
To the coronapocalypse.
936
00:42:19,938 --> 00:42:25,742
The contrast made me aware
of those who are loyal to me.
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00:42:26,343 --> 00:42:27,911
And those who are not.