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[Kody] Previously on
Sister Wives.
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Plural marriage is a struggle.
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It's a hard thing.
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You're either in,
complying with our standard,
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or I'm not coming around.
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I am the head of the
household some places,
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I'm just not right here.
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It would be nice
if we could figure out
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when, at what point, we could
be okay to socialize as a family.
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It's a goat rodeo
of extreme proportions.
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She's going off
to have a major surgery done
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and I can't hug her.
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[Christine] All right, Ysabel,
here we are.
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[Christine] Kody and I have
been struggling for a while.
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This is not a safe conversation
anymore. I'm sorry, it's just not.
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I'm not gonna talk to you.
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Look, he's not even
my friend right now.
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[Meri] I think
after we moved to Flagstaff,
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all of us were seeing
fractures in the family culture
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and then COVID hit.
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And that just made it, like,
exponentially worse,
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and it's been kind of a
rough couple of years.
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[Robyn] It's really taken
a toll on our family culture.
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There's these little kinda
tension points and, you know,
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my kids and I are feeling that
quite a bit, and we're tired of it.
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It's definitely put a strain
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and a lot of the conversations revolve
around COVID and it's exhausting.
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And Kody's the only one who
goes from house to house, so...
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it's done a lot
to our psyche.
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[Meri] We're definitely not
seeing each other.
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There's no protocol in place
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that we can see each other.
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[Janelle] I think COVID,
believe it or not,
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has been the hardest thing
we've ever faced
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as far as wrecking
our family culture.
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I'm beginning to worry,
the longer this goes on,
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that we may not recover.
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[Kody] Christine's back
from New Jersey.
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I'm going over to visit
just to touch base.
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[Christine] We were
away from home for, like,
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six weeks, we just barely
got back like a week ago.
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So, Ysabel's surgery
was yesterday
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and last night was brutal.
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It was brutal.
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- [Christine] How you feeling, baby?
- I don't feel good.
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[Christine] A second,
don't need to do anything.
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- I know, but I'm uncomfortable.
- [Christine] You are?
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This is just the first time
that we've been able to have
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a face-to-face conversation
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about Ysabel's surgery.
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But, like, the most major
thing in her life so far, right?
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[Kody] The whole COVID thing
has really wrecked
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a lot of experience
for Christine and I.
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And I'm hoping
that COVID will go away,
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so that we can get back in a
normal relationship with each other.
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- Hi!
- [Christine] Oh, hi.
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How's Ysabel doing today?
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Yeah, I asked her. I'm, like, "Do
you think you're better every day?"
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- And she goes, "No."
- Really?
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She goes, "Just ups
and downs still."
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Some days she's, like, glad that
she got the surgery, and other days...
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It's a tough... It's tough.
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She missed you. It was
hard you couldn't be there.
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- It was hard for her.
- I know. I'm sorry.
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I was okay.
I was fine, surprisingly.
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The doctor was shocked
I was there by myself.
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There's no going back, but
I wish I could've been there.
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And it's a real regret and so
it has me going back in time,
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wishing what I'd have
done things differently.
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If she'd hurry and recover it'd just
make me feel so much better about it.
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- It's done, it's where it's at.
- And she's--
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But I don't want her
resenting me all of her life
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because I wasn't there for her
when she needed me the most.
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I hope the same thing for her.
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I hope there's a lot
of forgiveness,
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but I should have been there
for her operation.
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How is she gonna feel
about that all of her life?
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If it wasn't for COVID,
would you have been there?
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Oh, yeah. If it wasn't for
COVID, I would've gone.
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My biggest concern right now
is how we go forward.
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We can't keep living like this.
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It's really, really important
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that you guys go back to a social
distancing, quasi quarantine system
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or situation, so that I can
start coming and being here.
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I'm at a point now
where I need you...
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- There has to be a shift.
- You need me to stop going places?
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Uh, yeah. [chuckles]
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Yeah, and I need people
to stop coming here.
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I mean, it would be great
to have you here more.
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But it's, like, you're here
a couple of times a week.
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If we go somewhere where
someone wants to hang out with us,
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like when we go to see
Aspyn and Mykelti,
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the girls are around people all the time
that are like, "It's so good to see you."
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Just finish listening.
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And when we go places,
they're so excited to see us
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and they hang out with us
all the time.
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Whereas we just see you
a couple of times a week.
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Well, when I called Gwendlyn,
she's out with a friend,
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and Tony and Mykelti
come over and--
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'Cause we were quarantined
from you anyway.
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And we're only seeing you twice a
week anyway, so who the hell cares?
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Twice a week, but that was four
days. Three days or four days.
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No, it wasn't,
it was twice a week.
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- No, it was three or four days.
- We see you twice a week.
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- It was three or four days.
- Okay, whatever, semantics.
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Kody's actual, uh, time that he spends
in each home is pretty equal, pre-COVID.
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And then since COVID,
it's really been
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about the behaviors
of each household.
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The rotation we had
with my schedule before COVID
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was basically two nights at
Janelle's, two nights at Christine's
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and then two nights at Robyn's,
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and I would rotate that way.
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Meri wasn't in the rotation. Meri
and I aren't in that kind of relationship.
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We're in a state
of friendship, okay?
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So, before COVID, it was
a little bit quicker usually.
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It would be common to be,
like, one day, two days
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and then he'd go on
and then he'd come back
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and now the time is stretched
out, I think, out of necessity.
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Kody will come and stay longer
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and then he is gone longer, and
I think that makes a lot of sense.
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Christine's complaining
that I was never around.
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I...
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I don't know
what she's talking about.
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I was around until she
started going out of town.
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This is where Kody and I disagree
most fundamentally all the time.
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He would come over, like,
five at night, have dinner with us,
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be on his phone constantly,
whatever, watch a movie
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and then we would all go to bed.
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The next morning, he was usually
gone before the girls woke up.
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Why can't he come over and
spend a couple of days with us?
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Like, whole days, I know he's
somewhere for whole days.
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Okay, hanging out with you
isn't enough for my girls.
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But I'm, like, other people
wanna see us all the time.
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All the people who you go and see,
Christine, is on a vacation of some sort.
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- We go and hang out with them.
- You were basically
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in New York or in New Jersey,
you were on a vacation.
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They prefer to do things
with other people
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rather than to make it possible
for me to be at home with them.
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How does that play out
long term in a relationship?
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I got people in my family
that aren't like that with me.
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I don't have
any more to say about it.
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Everybody has to
make a choice here
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about whether I'm supposed
to be involved in their lives
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or whether
they're gonna go on vacation.
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[Kody] She's not taking into consideration
that Truely had a kidney failure
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when she was three years old.
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COVID-19 is anomalous,
we don't understand it.
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But they're saying it's attacking
kidneys, it's attacking lungs.
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Truely had a kidney failure
and so there's a chance
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that she could be
at higher risk here.
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It's been six months of,
"Oh, Dad, this is a dumb idea",
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"Oh, Dad, this isn't
fair to us." "Oh, Dad..."
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And I'm like, "All you would have
to do is change your behavior."
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Okay, that's so nebulous.
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Do you know what he
really means? Misbehavior.
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"Your misbehavior
needs to be managed."
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He thinks what I'm doing
is misbehavior.
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It's not actually safe
to go drive a car.
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People get into accidents
all the time,
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but does that stop us
from driving?
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No.
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I'll be honest with you, I feel
slighted by this entire thing.
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It's your decision. The whole
COVID quarantine is your decision.
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- It's your decision.
- We all agreed to this.
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- Yeah, but we-- - So
that I could see everybody.
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We agreed to this,
what, six months ago?
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I think it's ridiculous
that we're socially distanced.
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At my house, we mask
when we are out and about,
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we hand sanitize,
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we stay socially distanced when
we're out and about in public.
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We do what, you know, kind of
everybody does,
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which is wear a mask
and social distance
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and, you know,
hand sanitize a lot.
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But then we do some extra stuff
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and this is just to protect
us from spreading it around
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to the rest of the families
and stuff.
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The biggest one is that Kody's the
only one going from house to house
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and so that also includes anybody
else, like our family and friends.
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We don't have visitors
and we don't go visit people.
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[Kody] Here's the bottom line.
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Christine's values are
different than mine about this
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and her desire to have me in her life
is very different than Robyn's, let's say.
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Robyn will do anything
so that I can be home,
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so she has sequestered
her children.
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Christine has always gone,
uh, gotten mad at me
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about pushing for this
big picture in the family.
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On the other hand, though,
Robyn has always been the one
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that has supported
the big picture on the family.
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I don't understand
the difference, at all,
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with me just going and doing
social things, going and...
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With me wearing my mask
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and going and shopping and coming
back home and I am the only one.
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It's the same as the nanny,
right? You have a nanny over.
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Robyn and I have, um...
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Robyn and I have an
employee, we call her a nanny.
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She comes over, she
helps with caring for the kids
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and she helps
with schooling the kids.
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She's over all the time.
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She doesn't go anywhere, her husband's
the only one that does the shopping.
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So I don't understand why Ysabel
can't come over and hang out?
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She's devastated.
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What is the nanny
and her husband doing
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that makes it so
they can come over?
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'Cause when I'm home,
I do exactly what I should,
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yet my girls
can't see their siblings.
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What does the nanny do?
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We're all as safe as can be.
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I think that it's time
to live through restrictions.
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She's not
keeping the same rules,
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she's not doing the same thing.
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She's so full of bull [bleep].
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It's been six months
and we're not doing well.
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We're not doing well.
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I need a guarantee that we
really are going to Thanksgiving,
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otherwise I'm leaving.
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- I guess, okay, we'll figure that out tomorrow.
- I'm leaving.
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Let's bring the family to a
consensus on what we're gonna do.
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Okay.
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We are at an impasse,
we disagree.
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I'm just done
with this conversation.
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I'm done.
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We are not making
any progress here
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and I'm hoping that tomorrow I can
come back and maintain my argument,
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or maybe get some backup.
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- I just can't... I don't...
- I've gotta go.
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- Okay?
- Okay. All right.
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So, hopefully I'll be able
to see... So, this afternoon,
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depending on where I'm at, if you'll let
me know what's going on with Ysabel.
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- Okay.
- Maybe I can figure this out.
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00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,866
- Okay?
- Okay.
231
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,534
- All right, I'll see you later.
- All right, bye.
232
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,507
[sarcastically] Good talk.
233
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:04,949
I don't know if Kody even wants
to see everybody all together again.
234
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,152
I'm really seriously
worried about that.
235
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,754
Maybe he's fine
just living separate.
236
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,055
[Kody] I think it would be great
237
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:16,227
if everybody maintained
our COVID protocols
238
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,996
so that we could
all be together.
239
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,231
That would be awesome.
240
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:23,601
But so far there's no indicators
that everybody's willing to do that.
241
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:24,669
What we have
242
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:28,373
is a fundamental breakdown
of trust in the family.
243
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:39,818
[Kody] Tony and Mykelti
have got a big plan to tell us
244
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,152
if they're having a baby girl
245
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,188
or a baby boy.
246
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,489
[Mykelti] If this
doesn't work...
247
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,224
[Christine] If it turns out
purple, we're gonna all be mad.
248
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,159
[Kody] Was this
really well planned?
249
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,928
Is this really well thought out
250
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,763
or will it turn
the correct color?
251
00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:53,364
[Christine] Oh, my God!
252
00:13:56,869 --> 00:14:00,839
[Kody] We're gonna gather up, and
Tony and Mykelti have got a big plan
253
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:05,510
to tell us if they're having
a baby girl or a baby boy.
254
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:11,082
Mykelti and Tony are wearing
tie-dyed shirts, they're pink and blue,
255
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,752
um, because they're not
giving anything away.
256
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,221
I'm at 16 weeks right now.
257
00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:18,256
- And--
- That's four months.
258
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,958
-Four months. Oh, I'm four months already?
-Yes.
259
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,126
- Oh, that's exciting.
- Four months.
260
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,462
-We're almost half way, dude. We got this.
-Oh, thank God.
261
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,097
[both laugh]
262
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,499
Tony and I are going to do a home
birth with a midwife and everything.
263
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,435
She wants to do a home birth.
264
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,670
You're just worried 'cause if
there's medical complications.
265
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,272
That's what
you're worried about.
266
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:36,674
- Just the small things.
- Nothing strange!
267
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:39,043
It's not like they cut women
open to get babies out.
268
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,713
Tony is not team home birth.
He's not.
269
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,248
He's not real thrilled
about this.
270
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,918
Tony's worried about it because
he just hasn't had the experience
271
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:47,986
or the information.
272
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:52,523
By the time I had my, what,
uh, tenth home birth,
273
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:55,226
it is painful,
but it's very natural.
274
00:14:57,496 --> 00:15:00,932
I actually love it because I
think home births are awesome.
275
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:04,435
So, I had half and half, I had three
at home and three in the hospital.
276
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:07,572
[Meri] I had a home birth
with Mariah.
277
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,941
When she was 12,
when I got pregnant,
278
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,777
you know, obviously,
I ultimately lost that baby,
279
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:18,449
but my plans were to actually
have a hospital birth with that one.
280
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,853
[Robyn] I love that Mykelti's
talking about doing a home birth.
281
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:24,722
Anybody that I can convince
to do that, I feel like I've won.
282
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,057
[chuckles]
283
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,092
[Kody] After having
so many children,
284
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:32,563
um, I'm totally
still a home birth advocate.
285
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,699
But I still think
it has to do with your doctor.
286
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,835
I mean, Christine and I had
one hospital birth with Truely.
287
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,705
And that was
a marvelous experience.
288
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:46,744
[Christine] Oh, look,
it's the family. Hey, guys!
289
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,780
Mykelti and Tony
are staying in a hotel
290
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,783
and they'll hang around
me and my kids.
291
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,118
But they won't come in close
contact with anybody else.
292
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,821
So everybody else is gonna
be socially distanced from them,
293
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:59,557
and everybody will be
in their own little quadrants.
294
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:02,660
Come pick
if you think it's boy or girl.
295
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:07,532
I'm sitting here wearing a mask
outside, not feeling like I need to,
296
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:11,602
but as a reminder to everybody
else to socially distance.
297
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:14,839
I'm just trying to keep
everybody being careful,
298
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:20,211
because I don't want
to deal with this virus.
299
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,148
Am I in the wrong place?
300
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,317
Uh, you could possibly get wet.
301
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,286
Oh, I don't wanna get wet!
302
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:30,788
I didn't know
this was a wet thing.
303
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,023
Okay, do you guys know
what elephant toothpaste is?
304
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,691
[female child] Yes.
305
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,793
- Great, elephant toothpaste.
- Hey, you gotta pour the thing in.
306
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:38,563
Elephant toothpaste
is this chemical combination,
307
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:41,699
just the right amount
of whatever ingredients,
308
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:45,236
that when they're mixed
they make it, like, foam over,
309
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:49,540
like, explode a little bit, but
explode, like, in foam kind of a thing.
310
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,909
And if it's pink foam,
she's a girl.
311
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:55,013
If it's blue foam, he's a boy.
312
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,714
[Janelle] And the color
will be what it is?
313
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,082
- We hope.
- Hopefully.
314
00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:00,051
- [laughs] - [Mykelti]
If this doesn't work...
315
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,186
[Christine] If it turns out
purple, we're gonna all be mad!
316
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,888
[Kody] Was this
really well planned?
317
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,790
Is this really well thought out?
318
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:09,494
Is this gonna backfire,
will it turn the correct color?
319
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,064
[Mykelti] Okay, okay.
320
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:16,601
I will give them credit
for something unique
321
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,569
that we haven't done yet,
and so this is fun.
322
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,072
I'm just sitting here
being in the audience.
323
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:21,973
- Okay.
- Okay.
324
00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:23,207
Pick it up.
325
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:26,110
- [liquid sloshes]
- [woman] Oh, my God!
326
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:30,214
- [screaming]
- [laughter]
327
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,949
- [Kody] What color is it?
- [woman] It's yellow!
328
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,017
[Kody] Where's the color?
329
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:35,153
It looks like
a science experiment.
330
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:40,391
You know, some kind of gender
explosion coming out of this bucket.
331
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,093
I have no idea.
332
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:44,095
[laughing]
333
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:47,231
Okay, so apparently
we didn't use enough dye.
334
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,534
[Robyn] I don't know what
the sex of the baby is right now.
335
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:51,702
Like, it's confusing.
[laughs]
336
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:54,205
- [woman laughing]
- [Kody] So, is it pink?
337
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,307
[Christine] It looks slightly
more pink than blue,
338
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,675
so that would be my guess.
339
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:58,843
It didn't work.
340
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:02,080
The color, we don't...
It's yeasty.
341
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,514
Here, ready?
342
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,083
- You guys ready?
- [Kody] Yeah.
343
00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:07,985
- [cheering]
- [applauding]
344
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:10,154
[Christine] I was the backup.
That was beautiful.
345
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:13,524
- [children babble]
- It's a girl!
346
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:14,992
There you go, you guys hold it.
347
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,662
I'm having
another granddaughter!
348
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,997
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
349
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,999
Mykelti and Tony are going
to be awesome parents.
350
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,838
[Kody] Ariella Mae
will be so excited.
351
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,107
I'm excited they're
having a girl, that's great.
352
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,809
[Robyn] Yeah, we'll have
two granddaughters now.
353
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,545
One grandson and two
granddaughters. It's awesome.
354
00:18:35,814 --> 00:18:37,682
This is exciting, this is fun.
355
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:40,485
I'm super excited for them.
356
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,386
- [Tony groans] - [Kody]
Don't get it in your eyes!
357
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,757
Ysabel said we had to.
358
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,693
- [laughter]
- [all cheering]
359
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:52,163
- [Kody] Well, what's with the abuse?
- Oh, my God!
360
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:55,766
[Christine] Tony threatened to smash
Ysabel, like, a cupcake into Ysabel's face.
361
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:58,503
And she can't do any
kind of retribution at all.
362
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:02,006
So I, obviously, generously,
363
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:05,009
out of the kindness of my
heart, am defending Ysabel.
364
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,180
Mykelti and Tony
are doing fabulous.
365
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:13,251
They communicate so well,
they talk all the time.
366
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:17,121
And I just get
to watch them or see them.
367
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:20,091
Um, they're incredible
for each other.
368
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:22,193
They're gonna make
fantastic parents.
369
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:25,329
Insane and fun and fantastic.
370
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:30,868
Most people
would look at that list
371
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:33,971
and go, "That's absolutely
insane to follow all of those things."
372
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:38,776
Kody is not somebody
to be run by one of his wives.
373
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,144
Are you the head of the family?
374
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,880
[Kody] It's pissing me off
they're looking to Robyn,
375
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,682
like, for some kind of approval.
376
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,018
I don't have a head wife
in this family.
377
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:01,666
[Robyn] Today, we're going
over to Meri's.
378
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:05,703
I guess Kody has sort of
come up with very specific
379
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:09,540
detailed rules about how
we get together as a family.
380
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:16,380
A couple of days ago, I just told
Kody I think it's insanely strange
381
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:20,518
that Robyn's nanny can come over
and babysit and go inside the house.
382
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:25,122
And you can be around her and
everything, but we can't come over.
383
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,728
It would be very helpful if we
could know what the nanny's doing,
384
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,197
and maybe we can all hang out
with each other.
385
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:39,770
We've basically quarantined from
each other for the past six months,
386
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:43,040
and I'm not willing
to sit six feet away
387
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:46,410
from each other
for Christmas or Thanksgiving.
388
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,212
Okay.
389
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:53,217
It is a source of frustration to
me that we continue to not agree
390
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,852
on social distancing and rules.
391
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:58,990
I just want to, like, run away because
I'm getting really frustrated with it.
392
00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:02,827
- [Janelle] So, holidays.
- I'm glad we're revisiting this a little bit.
393
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:06,130
I'm hoping we can revisit
social distancing a bit.
394
00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:09,967
This isn't how a family is.
Families don't social distance.
395
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,003
We're not being
a family right now.
396
00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:15,406
We've needed to get this
figured out for months. [laughs]
397
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,808
Ah. [laughs]
398
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:23,714
Well, you were asking why our
nanny was able to hang out with our kids
399
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:26,150
and none
of the other kids could.
400
00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:31,856
Well, I basically wrote down the
rules that we have for our nanny.
401
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:35,293
Let's look over the rules.
I would love to see what rules
402
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:37,194
-you put in place.
-Let's see what we got. I sanitized.
403
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:38,496
That's great.
404
00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:41,999
- Do you want one of these?
- Yeah.
405
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:43,534
Um...
406
00:21:44,503 --> 00:21:47,772
- You know, those rules that you made up?
- [Kody laughs]
407
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,641
- [laughs] I'm just teasing.
- [Kody] I just checked with our nanny,
408
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,743
I said,
"What are you doing..."
409
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:56,280
- I was just teasing because he's just... or...
- No. No. No.
410
00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:58,749
No, I actually didn't, so...
411
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,151
- [Kody] Um...
- [Robyn] So...
412
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,986
[Christine] Wow, are these
the rules you guys follow
413
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,621
- at your house?
- Just gonna say it out loud.
414
00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:06,957
I know everybody's, like...
suspicious of me.
415
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:10,461
Just please stop. Like, just
don't be suspicious of me.
416
00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:16,734
- [Meri] Robyn, that was a joke.
- Please realize that Kody...
417
00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:18,903
Okay.
418
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:23,341
Just realize that Kody
has made these rules, okay?
419
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,209
She was like, "Robyn, you're
making these rules, aren't you?"
420
00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:27,878
And Robyn got so defensive
Meri turns around and goes,
421
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:28,813
"I'm kidding,
I'm kidding, I'm kidding."
422
00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:31,148
No, you're not.
423
00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:36,754
[Meri] I did not have any idea
that this was such a touchy subject
424
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:38,689
with her and with him.
425
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,058
I said it completely jokingly.
426
00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:46,297
The fact that he doesn't get
that I will defend Robyn
427
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:53,537
all day, every day, after a
decade or more of knowing her,
428
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:56,741
is really sad that he
has absolutely no clue.
429
00:22:56,743 --> 00:23:01,145
Okay, Robyn, I am so sorry.
I was joking.
430
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,848
[Kody] Meri, this isn't about
you, don't make it about you
431
00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:05,182
- because it's not.
- [Robyn] It's not about you.
432
00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:08,119
[Kody] We've had kids who have
very specifically blamed Robyn.
433
00:23:08,121 --> 00:23:10,020
- [Robyn] It's... no, I...
- Kids who don't like the rules
434
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,022
who are specifically
blaming Robyn.
435
00:23:14,659 --> 00:23:15,893
There's been misunderstandings,
436
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:20,231
and I've had to sit there
and, um, correct them.
437
00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:24,969
I had one of the kids actually
call me and talk to me about,
438
00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:30,007
like, "Can't we loosen up the rules
so we can see each other as a family?"
439
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:37,081
Like, asking me. And I
went, "Uh, this is not me.
440
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:39,750
I didn't make up these rules."
441
00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:45,556
And I very specifically
pointed out that their dad, Kody,
442
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:49,260
is not somebody
to be run by one of his wives.
443
00:23:55,033 --> 00:23:59,904
I'm just gonna say it out loud that
I just need everybody to stop, like,
444
00:23:59,906 --> 00:24:02,807
directing it my way,
if that's what's happening
445
00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:05,543
in your home, with your
children, whatever it is,
446
00:24:05,545 --> 00:24:09,079
because I can't have Ari and Sol
stay two weeks away from Kody.
447
00:24:09,081 --> 00:24:13,217
I am following the rules
very, very closely.
448
00:24:15,821 --> 00:24:19,356
Why in the world would anybody
think that I'm somehow behind this?
449
00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:22,126
Like why... why me?
450
00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:26,630
They don't know who I am
if they would think this of me.
451
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:32,636
That I would try to cause some
sort of disharmony in the family.
452
00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:38,409
[Kody] My kids are blaming
Robyn for making the rules.
453
00:24:38,411 --> 00:24:40,644
These are the rules
that my doctor has given us,
454
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:43,948
and these are the rules that
we're making our nanny abide by.
455
00:24:43,950 --> 00:24:47,618
But she's agreed to them and they're
abiding by them, and so I'm, like, going,
456
00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:50,054
"Well, the rest of the family
should do this as well."
457
00:24:50,056 --> 00:24:53,824
[Janelle] I can't. I'm just not
opening that can of worms.
458
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:56,560
There's a lot of drama.
Yeah, there is.
459
00:24:59,798 --> 00:25:03,734
I brought up the nanny to Kody because
the kids have all brought it up to me.
460
00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:05,503
And if that...
the nanny's the goal,
461
00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:07,738
what can we do
in our home to make it
462
00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:11,108
so Ysabel and Truely can
hang out with their siblings?
463
00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:14,144
What's not doable?
I haven't even looked over it.
464
00:25:15,947 --> 00:25:19,183
Where were these rules when I
asked for months, and months,
465
00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:20,951
and months,
"How do we get together?"
466
00:25:20,953 --> 00:25:22,786
Nobody offered these up.
467
00:25:22,788 --> 00:25:26,323
All of a sudden the rules are
being presented. It's weird to me.
468
00:25:27,726 --> 00:25:31,195
Yeah, I mean, some of these are
great, but "clean mail with alcohol wipes"?
469
00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:35,866
I'm looking at these rules
and I'm astounded.
470
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:41,906
"Wear mask in public. Sanitize hands
after shopping. Wash hands often.
471
00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:45,476
Sanitize purchased products
and groceries with alcohol wipes
472
00:25:45,478 --> 00:25:48,145
before placing inside house.
473
00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:52,249
Remove shoes outside. Change
clothing after visiting shops,
474
00:25:52,251 --> 00:25:54,218
other homes or businesses.
475
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:57,755
No eating at sit-down
restaurants. Only takeout.
476
00:25:57,757 --> 00:26:00,524
Limit shopping.
Use curbside pickup.
477
00:26:00,526 --> 00:26:04,161
Two week quarantine
after travel or having visitors.
478
00:26:04,163 --> 00:26:07,998
No movie theaters, bars,
fitness centers or restaurants.
479
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,969
Sanitizing hands, changing
clothes after visiting shop.
480
00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:14,872
Kids can see friends if
maintaining ten foot social distance
481
00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:16,273
and only for limited times.
482
00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:18,509
Clean mail
with alcohol wipes."
483
00:26:19,678 --> 00:26:22,947
Okay, so there's the 10
billion commandments of Kody.
484
00:26:22,949 --> 00:26:25,015
Well, I have
birthday presents for you.
485
00:26:25,017 --> 00:26:27,017
I guess I'll just leave 'em
on your porch or something.
486
00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:29,753
You know, so...
I mean, it's okay--
487
00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:32,423
- You can mock it or you can find a way.
- [scoffs]
488
00:26:33,191 --> 00:26:34,792
Are you too lazy
to do a few chores?
489
00:26:34,794 --> 00:26:37,294
All these are are little chores.
490
00:26:37,296 --> 00:26:39,363
[Christine] I don't think
these rules are realistic...
491
00:26:40,699 --> 00:26:42,299
at all for the real world.
492
00:26:44,869 --> 00:26:48,572
I don't see these rules
as that hard to follow.
493
00:26:48,574 --> 00:26:52,142
It means
that Kody is in my home.
494
00:26:54,613 --> 00:27:00,017
I'm open to having a list of
rules for Kody to come over.
495
00:27:00,019 --> 00:27:02,553
If he wants to give me a
list of rules, I will follow those.
496
00:27:04,055 --> 00:27:05,356
[laughs]
497
00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:12,062
So if we follow these rules
in my house...
498
00:27:12,064 --> 00:27:15,099
we'll be able to get
together for Christmas day.
499
00:27:15,101 --> 00:27:18,268
- If I... If we...
- Are you the head of the family?
500
00:27:18,270 --> 00:27:19,770
- [Robyn] No. Just stop.
- Kody, I was just... Sorry.
501
00:27:19,772 --> 00:27:21,171
[Kody] It's pissing me off.
502
00:27:21,539 --> 00:27:24,208
They're looking to Robyn,
like, for some kind of approval.
503
00:27:24,210 --> 00:27:27,111
I don't have a head wife
in this family.
504
00:27:30,448 --> 00:27:33,984
Now, I've had women try to be.
505
00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:37,388
All right? I've had plenty
of wives who have tried to be.
506
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:43,293
[crying] This is why it's so ridiculous
to think I made these rules up.
507
00:27:45,263 --> 00:27:46,363
[sighs]
508
00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:48,032
[sniffs]
509
00:27:48,133 --> 00:27:49,400
[sighs]
510
00:27:51,069 --> 00:27:53,137
Because I know Kody's like this.
511
00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:55,973
He's not gonna have
a wife come in
512
00:27:55,975 --> 00:27:58,008
and try to tell him what to do.
513
00:27:59,110 --> 00:28:00,344
He's just not.
514
00:28:04,482 --> 00:28:07,918
I'm at my wit's end with
this whole bull [bleep] stuff.
515
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:11,388
Janelle, I'm just trying to say
that I'd like to be able to see you
516
00:28:11,390 --> 00:28:14,091
and our kids and all of
our kids together more.
517
00:28:14,093 --> 00:28:17,828
That kind of lack of loyalty
isn't good for a marriage
518
00:28:17,830 --> 00:28:19,697
5, 10, 15 years from now.
519
00:28:19,699 --> 00:28:22,433
That's gonna be very hard on us.
520
00:28:27,772 --> 00:28:31,075
[Kody] I'm really disappointed
with how this is all unfolding.
521
00:28:31,077 --> 00:28:35,679
Personally, I am feeling
the depth of betrayal.
522
00:28:35,681 --> 00:28:37,881
And it's the biggest rift,
I think, that I have ever,
523
00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:39,283
literally, ever had
in my family.
524
00:28:41,986 --> 00:28:44,455
[Janelle] I doubt that even if
we had agreed on these rules,
525
00:28:44,457 --> 00:28:48,459
they would still get together because
they'd be afraid that somebody was lying.
526
00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:53,363
I'm at my wit's end with
this whole bull [bleep] stuff.
527
00:28:55,066 --> 00:29:00,137
Now we've got the rules
in order to get back together,
528
00:29:00,139 --> 00:29:02,940
and I really feel like
we have to make a choice.
529
00:29:02,942 --> 00:29:07,010
Do we see Kody
or do we do everything else?
530
00:29:09,781 --> 00:29:14,151
You have to take this
like you would...
531
00:29:14,153 --> 00:29:18,055
religion and scripture, and
you take it like a transparency
532
00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:21,525
and lay it over your life
and see how it fits.
533
00:29:21,527 --> 00:29:22,793
Well, okay,
so basically then, Kody,
534
00:29:22,795 --> 00:29:25,162
I don't think it's gonna ever
work for us all to get together.
535
00:29:25,164 --> 00:29:28,599
Listen, these aren't the rules for
me to be able to come to your house.
536
00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:30,534
- Those are a different set of rules.
- [laughs]
537
00:29:30,536 --> 00:29:34,772
These are the rules for us to be
able to actually associate as a family.
538
00:29:34,774 --> 00:29:37,841
It's, like, I feel like they
think I'm not doing anything,
539
00:29:37,843 --> 00:29:41,078
and we are doing everything
that the government tells us to do.
540
00:29:41,579 --> 00:29:43,113
Most people would
look at that list and go,
541
00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:46,283
"That's absolutely insane
to follow all of those things."
542
00:29:46,751 --> 00:29:49,887
Nobody is doing this
to this level.
543
00:29:49,889 --> 00:29:53,824
They're doing a lot of this but
not to this level, so I'll just have to...
544
00:29:53,826 --> 00:29:56,093
- [Robyn] I've been doing this for seven months.
- [Janelle] Yeah.
545
00:29:56,095 --> 00:29:57,795
[Christine] All of it
for seven months?
546
00:29:57,797 --> 00:30:01,064
[Janelle] Honestly, it would have
been a mental health crisis for me.
547
00:30:01,066 --> 00:30:03,734
I just... I really
would have had a problem.
548
00:30:03,736 --> 00:30:08,772
I feel like I'm making these
sacrifices so that... To protect them.
549
00:30:08,774 --> 00:30:10,173
Because she's on board with it,
550
00:30:10,175 --> 00:30:14,845
she gets blamed by the other
wives for making the rule. [laughs]
551
00:30:14,847 --> 00:30:17,214
Like, "No woman would ever do
what Kody wants."
552
00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:19,049
God. Gees.
553
00:30:19,051 --> 00:30:21,285
[Christine] Yeah, I can see why
Robyn follows him. She needs to.
554
00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:23,754
He's there every single day,
all the time.
555
00:30:23,756 --> 00:30:28,091
But he's not at my house so
we don't need to follow them.
556
00:30:28,093 --> 00:30:29,860
You have
to understand how I think
557
00:30:29,862 --> 00:30:32,729
when the complaints
are coming to me.
558
00:30:32,731 --> 00:30:37,100
I feel like it's an undermining
of what I'm trying to do.
559
00:30:37,102 --> 00:30:39,670
I'm not trying
to undermine at all.
560
00:30:39,672 --> 00:30:44,675
I think I should be able
to question your decisions.
561
00:30:44,677 --> 00:30:50,948
We're in a marriage, and if we can't
bring up things that are frustrating
562
00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:54,218
without feeling like
we're "undermining",
563
00:30:54,220 --> 00:30:57,921
God, doesn't that sound like
a dictatorship, not a marriage?
564
00:30:57,923 --> 00:31:00,657
I have a lot of un-ladylike
words going on in my mind,
565
00:31:00,659 --> 00:31:03,460
so I'm really trying
to filter it out a little bit.
566
00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:07,564
[Robyn] Here it is.
He's written it down.
567
00:31:07,566 --> 00:31:10,968
Just [sighs]
wipe off your packages.
568
00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:13,837
Change your clothes when
you come in from being out,
569
00:31:13,839 --> 00:31:15,706
you know, in town or something.
570
00:31:15,708 --> 00:31:18,008
Uh, you know,
clean your groceries.
571
00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:21,345
You know, whatever it is,
so we can see each other.
572
00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:26,483
Can we just, like,
can we just get along?
573
00:31:27,852 --> 00:31:29,353
My opinion is that
I think some of this
574
00:31:29,355 --> 00:31:32,756
is way over the top,
but I'll do it for Christmas.
575
00:31:32,758 --> 00:31:35,759
- Yeah, I mean, it's fine, Kody, I just...
I have adult-- - If this became normal,
576
00:31:35,761 --> 00:31:37,027
then we would be able
to be a normal family.
577
00:31:37,029 --> 00:31:38,161
I have adult children
in my house
578
00:31:38,163 --> 00:31:40,964
that have different things
going on, so...
579
00:31:40,966 --> 00:31:42,733
'Kay, Janelle,
I'm just trying to say
580
00:31:42,735 --> 00:31:45,869
that I'd like to be able
to see you and our kids,
581
00:31:45,871 --> 00:31:47,271
and all of our kids
together more.
582
00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:48,772
- [Janelle] Yeah.
- That's all I'm saying.
583
00:31:48,774 --> 00:31:54,845
Maybe this mistake of her and I not
being romantic enough is a mistake.
584
00:31:54,847 --> 00:31:56,780
Maybe we should
be more romantic.
585
00:31:56,782 --> 00:32:01,251
The fact that she's choosing
the boys over me,
586
00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:05,088
maybe it's just that mothering,
nurturing, but these are adult...
587
00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:06,156
They're supposed to be men.
588
00:32:06,158 --> 00:32:08,558
They're adults.
589
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,961
The separation's
been a little hard on us,
590
00:32:10,963 --> 00:32:14,865
but, like, I'm more attached
than I ever have been.
591
00:32:14,867 --> 00:32:16,700
Like, every year,
I get more attached.
592
00:32:16,702 --> 00:32:18,602
I feel like we have
a pretty good relationship.
593
00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:20,904
For me, it's really
just about the rules,
594
00:32:20,906 --> 00:32:24,574
and having to choose
between being with my kids,
595
00:32:24,576 --> 00:32:26,810
and being with the rest
of the family,
596
00:32:26,812 --> 00:32:29,079
and I'm sorry, I'm going
to choose the kids every time.
597
00:32:29,081 --> 00:32:30,747
No matter how much I love Kody,
598
00:32:30,749 --> 00:32:32,749
I'm gonna always choose my kids.
599
00:32:32,751 --> 00:32:36,920
Aspyn and Mitch have invited
me to go there, and I will go there.
600
00:32:36,922 --> 00:32:40,958
Um, and 'cause they've invited Tony and
Mykelti and Paedon, and I will go there.
601
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,459
It's not a threat,
602
00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:47,864
it's just we need to have some sort of
a sit-down, family Thanksgiving dinner.
603
00:32:47,866 --> 00:32:52,135
Part of me loves, loves the idea
604
00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:54,705
of escaping
the whole COVID thing
605
00:32:54,707 --> 00:32:57,341
and just going
to Aspyn and Mitch's house.
606
00:32:57,343 --> 00:32:59,276
They're like "Let's go ahead
and get together and hang out,
607
00:32:59,278 --> 00:33:00,811
and have a great Thanksgiving,"
608
00:33:00,813 --> 00:33:03,080
and it sounds really good.
609
00:33:03,082 --> 00:33:05,882
So you're gonna not...
You're not gonna be around...
610
00:33:05,884 --> 00:33:07,050
[Janelle] No, I won't be
for Thanksgiving.
611
00:33:07,052 --> 00:33:09,619
[Robyn] And what about you?
612
00:33:09,621 --> 00:33:12,789
The kids are now dying
to go see Aspyn and Mitch.
613
00:33:12,791 --> 00:33:16,026
Mykelti, Tony, Paedon,
they're all going to get together.
614
00:33:19,163 --> 00:33:20,964
I mean, so I guess
to be continued
615
00:33:20,966 --> 00:33:22,899
or are we going to decide
on Thanksgiving now?
616
00:33:22,901 --> 00:33:24,668
No, I know I won't be there
at Thanksgiving.
617
00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:26,636
But I will give this
to everybody
618
00:33:26,638 --> 00:33:28,238
and we will be there
at Christmas.
619
00:33:32,877 --> 00:33:34,845
I'm gonna talk to the girls
about Thanksgiving.
620
00:33:34,847 --> 00:33:38,181
[Kody] All right. We can...
Let us know.
621
00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:40,083
Meri, you haven't said a lot,
as usual.
622
00:33:40,085 --> 00:33:42,219
I don't really have much to say.
623
00:33:42,221 --> 00:33:42,986
Well, what do you think
about everything?
624
00:33:42,988 --> 00:33:44,554
There's...
625
00:33:46,958 --> 00:33:50,961
A lot of this conversation doesn't
really have anything to do with me.
626
00:33:50,963 --> 00:33:52,829
To...
627
00:33:52,831 --> 00:33:55,632
Yeah, but you and I have been
sitting here waiting
628
00:33:55,634 --> 00:33:59,136
for us to be able to have
you be able to come over.
629
00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:01,805
Oh, I've been doing the
things. I've been staying away.
630
00:34:01,807 --> 00:34:02,939
Okay, so...
631
00:34:02,941 --> 00:34:04,841
In the hopes of doing that.
632
00:34:04,843 --> 00:34:07,978
So I just keep doing it,
and I'll just keep waiting.
633
00:34:09,781 --> 00:34:13,083
When Meri said that she has
been following these rules,
634
00:34:13,085 --> 00:34:16,453
and been in her house alone,
635
00:34:18,823 --> 00:34:20,924
my heart totally went out
to her.
636
00:34:20,926 --> 00:34:25,529
I have no idea
how she can stay sane.
637
00:34:25,531 --> 00:34:29,466
It must be very quiet.
Very lonely.
638
00:34:30,701 --> 00:34:33,537
It's actually been
a little bit frustrating to me
639
00:34:33,539 --> 00:34:36,039
because I want
to interact with Robyn,
640
00:34:36,041 --> 00:34:38,875
I know that she is quarantining,
641
00:34:38,877 --> 00:34:43,814
and I'm doing the same thing,
and we don't get to interact.
642
00:34:43,816 --> 00:34:46,149
It's actually
very frustrating to me.
643
00:34:46,784 --> 00:34:47,918
[Kody] Meri, I think
you're doing it.
644
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,553
Do you want to come over
and see the kids?
645
00:34:49,555 --> 00:34:51,521
I know I've been doing it.
I've been telling you guys,
646
00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:54,024
but you've both been like,
"It's not time yet."
647
00:34:54,026 --> 00:34:55,058
- No.
- I've been...
648
00:34:55,060 --> 00:34:57,894
No, no, no, no.
That's not what I said.
649
00:34:57,896 --> 00:35:01,798
I said, "Kody has
to make the decision.
650
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,835
I don't know how it's going to
blow over with the whole family
651
00:35:04,837 --> 00:35:09,206
- if you and I are interacting, and nobody else is."
- [Meri] Right.
652
00:35:09,208 --> 00:35:12,309
[Kody] Well, I guess now you
guys can schedule a playdate.
653
00:35:12,743 --> 00:35:13,877
[chuckles]
654
00:35:13,879 --> 00:35:17,681
You've been wanting to play
with Auri and Sol, right?
655
00:35:17,683 --> 00:35:21,952
I just don't understand why we
didn't have the conversation earlier.
656
00:35:21,954 --> 00:35:24,821
And I know that she talks
to Kody about this,
657
00:35:24,823 --> 00:35:26,523
so that's why
I don't understand.
658
00:35:26,525 --> 00:35:28,158
Why haven't we done this sooner?
659
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,993
[Christine] If she's following
all these rules,
660
00:35:29,995 --> 00:35:32,262
why isn't she
hanging out with Robyn?
661
00:35:32,264 --> 00:35:34,865
Why aren't the two of them
getting together?
662
00:35:34,867 --> 00:35:36,099
So we could...
663
00:35:36,101 --> 00:35:37,567
Everyone could follow
all of these rules...
664
00:35:37,569 --> 00:35:38,902
For Christmas.
665
00:35:38,904 --> 00:35:41,571
For the two weeks before, and
then we could hang out Christmas.
666
00:35:41,573 --> 00:35:45,275
I don't think we're having a
family Thanksgiving together.
667
00:35:45,277 --> 00:35:49,346
We're going to have a whoever's
here Thanksgiving together.
668
00:35:49,348 --> 00:35:50,680
All right, ladies.
669
00:35:50,682 --> 00:35:53,517
Till next time.
Thanks for having the meeting.
670
00:35:57,555 --> 00:36:03,593
It's made me feel like the
foundation that our family was built on
671
00:36:03,595 --> 00:36:06,263
is, like, crumbling.
I don't know.
672
00:36:07,965 --> 00:36:12,035
It's a sad reality for me about
where I'm at in some of my marriages.
673
00:36:12,037 --> 00:36:14,304
That kind of lack of loyalty
674
00:36:14,972 --> 00:36:16,273
isn't good for a marriage.
675
00:36:16,275 --> 00:36:18,041
5, 10, 15 years from now,
676
00:36:18,043 --> 00:36:21,378
that's gonna be very hard on us.
677
00:36:22,113 --> 00:36:23,713
[Christine] Home
is just hard right now.
678
00:36:23,715 --> 00:36:24,881
It's hard to be home.
679
00:36:24,883 --> 00:36:26,616
Kody and I are in a tough spot,
680
00:36:26,618 --> 00:36:30,053
I don't really want
to be around that very often.
681
00:36:30,055 --> 00:36:33,490
It just hurts to be home,
and it's easier to leave.
682
00:36:34,825 --> 00:36:38,495
You know what COVID's
brought out in our family?
683
00:36:38,497 --> 00:36:42,332
Is how much we want
to be a family or not.
684
00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:48,872
There is rumors,
and I... That...
685
00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:52,509
That somehow, I'm somehow
pulling strings here.
686
00:36:52,511 --> 00:36:55,946
Kody is having issues with
some of his other relationships,
687
00:36:55,948 --> 00:36:59,482
and it is making our
relationship really, really hard.
688
00:37:07,925 --> 00:37:10,560
Meri. You're okay, all right?
689
00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:11,962
We are.
690
00:37:13,931 --> 00:37:14,998
All right?
691
00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:17,400
'Kay.
692
00:37:22,673 --> 00:37:28,311
I kind of forget myself, I forgot the
rules, and I just went in for a hug.
693
00:37:28,313 --> 00:37:30,914
[laughs] It was like, "Oops,
we're not supposed to hug."
694
00:37:30,916 --> 00:37:32,048
I'll be all right.
695
00:37:32,050 --> 00:37:33,950
Just put it in God's hands
and know
696
00:37:33,952 --> 00:37:37,053
that this relationship
is more important.
697
00:37:37,822 --> 00:37:40,123
I don't know why we've waited
so damn long.
698
00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:42,792
Why did we have to have
this conversation?
699
00:37:42,794 --> 00:37:45,128
[Robyn] I didn't want
everybody getting mad.
700
00:37:46,797 --> 00:37:48,999
Please stop acting
like it was my choice.
701
00:37:49,001 --> 00:37:51,301
I wasn't, and I wasn't
pointing my finger at you,
702
00:37:51,303 --> 00:37:54,938
- Robyn, when I said that.
- Don't act like I was trying to do this, 'cause I wasn't.
703
00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:59,109
- I was just totally joking with you, because I'm like...
- I know, but it's so real.
704
00:37:59,111 --> 00:38:00,677
It was, "This is funny,
705
00:38:00,679 --> 00:38:03,079
because Kody's giving you
a list of rules
706
00:38:03,081 --> 00:38:04,714
that you guys
already abide by."
707
00:38:04,716 --> 00:38:06,082
I thought that was silly.
708
00:38:06,084 --> 00:38:08,918
It took me a minute
to understand you were joking.
709
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,120
- [Meri sighs]
- It did.
710
00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:11,554
Okay?
711
00:38:12,590 --> 00:38:15,525
There is rumors,
and I... That...
712
00:38:15,527 --> 00:38:18,461
That somehow... I'm somehow
pulling strings here,
713
00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:20,897
and that's the most hilarious
thing in the world,
714
00:38:20,899 --> 00:38:25,302
'cause have you ever known
Kody to let a wife sit and pull strings,
715
00:38:25,304 --> 00:38:27,070
to the point, like,
this kind of craziness?
716
00:38:27,072 --> 00:38:29,939
No. Kody is his own man.
717
00:38:29,941 --> 00:38:33,576
I couldn't have pulled
this off, the strictness.
718
00:38:35,746 --> 00:38:37,514
[voice breaking] And all
I wanted was you to be able
719
00:38:37,516 --> 00:38:40,016
to come over
and be around the kids.
720
00:38:40,018 --> 00:38:41,885
I just didn't want
everybody upset
721
00:38:41,887 --> 00:38:45,522
if we were doing something
against, like, the set rules or whatever.
722
00:38:45,524 --> 00:38:48,992
Well, I still just don't
understand why, like, we had...
723
00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:50,760
- [Robyn] Because. Because...
- Okay. It's fine, it's fine.
724
00:38:50,762 --> 00:38:51,861
[Robyn] Meri.
725
00:38:51,863 --> 00:38:54,764
Because everybody
was following these rules,
726
00:38:54,766 --> 00:38:56,566
and if you and I
weren't following them
727
00:38:56,568 --> 00:38:58,935
as far as interaction
with each other,
728
00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:02,972
then people would feel like it was
unfair or we weren't being honest.
729
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:04,841
That's why.
730
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:07,277
So, Kody was saying to me,
"I think you can...
731
00:39:07,279 --> 00:39:10,080
You and Meri are being
really careful.
732
00:39:10,082 --> 00:39:12,716
You guys could get together."
733
00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:16,786
And I'm like, "Kody,
that's a change in protocol,
734
00:39:16,788 --> 00:39:18,221
and if you're gonna
change protocol,
735
00:39:18,223 --> 00:39:20,490
then you need
to tell everybody."
736
00:39:21,092 --> 00:39:23,159
And he was like,
"Well, no, it's fine.
737
00:39:23,161 --> 00:39:27,063
I said it's okay,
you guys are, um...
738
00:39:28,766 --> 00:39:31,568
You two are being really careful,
you guys can see each other."
739
00:39:31,570 --> 00:39:33,737
And I'm like,
"Well, that's not fair."
740
00:39:33,739 --> 00:39:36,172
My kids ask about you
all the time, so just...
741
00:39:37,141 --> 00:39:39,242
I'm glad you have
your kids and Kody.
742
00:39:39,244 --> 00:39:40,977
[Robyn] I know.
743
00:39:43,848 --> 00:39:45,615
I just didn't know
what to do, he's...
744
00:39:45,617 --> 00:39:48,151
He's so strict,
there's so many rules.
745
00:39:48,153 --> 00:39:50,920
This is the first time he's
actually, like, talking about it,
746
00:39:50,922 --> 00:39:52,989
and going,
"Okay, maybe this can happen."
747
00:39:52,991 --> 00:39:57,660
And having everybody see what it
is that they can do to be together.
748
00:39:57,662 --> 00:40:02,031
Now we can 'cause I know
you're following these rules, too.
749
00:40:02,033 --> 00:40:05,535
Yeah, I'm glad that Robyn
came back and we talked about
750
00:40:05,537 --> 00:40:08,037
the stuff a little bit,
you know.
751
00:40:08,039 --> 00:40:10,006
And I'm glad that
she's okay with me.
752
00:40:10,008 --> 00:40:12,375
[chuckles]
753
00:40:12,377 --> 00:40:14,310
'Cause I don't like it
when she's not.
754
00:40:14,312 --> 00:40:15,078
'Kay.
755
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:16,346
All right.
756
00:40:16,348 --> 00:40:17,714
- Have a good rest of your day.
- Love you.
757
00:40:17,716 --> 00:40:20,016
- Love you.
- [Meri] Love you.
758
00:40:20,018 --> 00:40:25,221
[Robyn] I love Meri,
and I hate that she is alone.
759
00:40:25,223 --> 00:40:27,357
I want her to be happy.
760
00:40:28,292 --> 00:40:29,726
You know?
761
00:40:29,728 --> 00:40:32,562
If I could wave a magic wand
that was,
762
00:40:32,564 --> 00:40:35,732
you know, that I had say
over what was going on,
763
00:40:35,734 --> 00:40:39,135
I would make it
so that Meri was happy.
764
00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:41,571
That her and Kody
could figure their stuff out.
765
00:40:43,174 --> 00:40:45,175
But I can't.
766
00:40:46,977 --> 00:40:49,179
I cannot express...
767
00:40:51,816 --> 00:40:56,419
enough how hard it is to...
768
00:40:58,889 --> 00:41:04,027
be in a plural family
where my husband
769
00:41:04,029 --> 00:41:09,032
and his wife, his other wife,
is having a problem...
770
00:41:09,867 --> 00:41:14,103
and it completely affects
my life, but I have...
771
00:41:14,105 --> 00:41:17,974
I'm really supposed to stay
out of it, and I have no say.
772
00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:22,579
The lines are hard between
our different marriages,
773
00:41:22,581 --> 00:41:24,781
because it's like, 'kay,
you gotta respect
774
00:41:24,783 --> 00:41:27,984
that she's got her own
relationship with Kody,
775
00:41:27,986 --> 00:41:32,522
but at the same time, their
relationship affects yours.
776
00:41:32,524 --> 00:41:34,691
And right now, I am living
right through that,
777
00:41:34,693 --> 00:41:38,828
because Kody is having issues
with some of his other relationships,
778
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:42,365
and it is making our
relationship really, really hard.
779
00:41:44,935 --> 00:41:46,068
[Kody reading]
780
00:41:47,471 --> 00:41:50,840
Dad wants to play stupid
games, we can play along.
781
00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:53,243
It's been eight months since I've
been able to hang out with my dad,
782
00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:54,544
of course I'm gonna rebel
a little.
783
00:41:54,546 --> 00:41:56,279
I'm trying here.
784
00:41:56,281 --> 00:42:00,016
Kody came and stayed for, like,
five or six days, and I'm kinda like,
785
00:42:00,084 --> 00:42:01,918
"Wow. That's a lot of work."
786
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,987
For 10 years,
I've had Kody at my house
787
00:42:03,989 --> 00:42:05,054
once or twice a week.
788
00:42:05,056 --> 00:42:07,657
Lately, it's been constantly.
789
00:42:07,659 --> 00:42:09,225
You know, I'm sure
that every plural wife
790
00:42:09,227 --> 00:42:11,194
is like "Whoo, that's the way
you want it!"
791
00:42:11,196 --> 00:42:12,562
And I'm like... [winces]
792
00:42:12,564 --> 00:42:13,763
So, you're going to Utah?
793
00:42:13,765 --> 00:42:16,432
Janelle is indicating
by her actions
794
00:42:16,434 --> 00:42:19,636
that she would rather have
the boys around than me.
795
00:42:19,638 --> 00:42:22,672
You don't think I'm aware?
You don't think I'm being careful?
796
00:42:22,674 --> 00:42:24,541
I think you understand
what I'm talking about
797
00:42:24,543 --> 00:42:26,376
and I want you
to just respect that.
798
00:42:26,378 --> 00:42:28,044
[Janelle] Yeah, [bleep] off.