[Kody] Previously on Sister Wives.
Plural marriage is a struggle.
It's a hard thing.
You're either in, complying with our standard,
or I'm not coming around.
I am the head of the household some places,
I'm just not right here.
It would be nice if we could figure out
when, at what point, we could be okay to socialize as a family.
It's a goat rodeo of extreme proportions.
She's going off to have a major surgery done
and I can't hug her.
[Christine] All right, Ysabel, here we are.
[Christine] Kody and I have been struggling for a while.
This is not a safe conversation anymore. I'm sorry, it's just not.
I'm not gonna talk to you.
Look, he's not even my friend right now.
[Meri] I think after we moved to Flagstaff,
all of us were seeing fractures in the family culture
and then COVID hit.
And that just made it, like, exponentially worse,
and it's been kind of a rough couple of years.
[Robyn] It's really taken a toll on our family culture.
There's these little kinda tension points and, you know,
my kids and I are feeling that quite a bit, and we're tired of it.
It's definitely put a strain
and a lot of the conversations revolve around COVID and it's exhausting.
And Kody's the only one who goes from house to house, so...
it's done a lot to our psyche.
[Meri] We're definitely not seeing each other.
There's no protocol in place
that we can see each other.
[Janelle] I think COVID, believe it or not,
has been the hardest thing we've ever faced
as far as wrecking our family culture.
I'm beginning to worry, the longer this goes on,
that we may not recover.
[Kody] Christine's back from New Jersey.
I'm going over to visit just to touch base.
[Christine] We were away from home for, like,
six weeks, we just barely got back like a week ago.
So, Ysabel's surgery was yesterday
and last night was brutal.
It was brutal.
- [Christine] How you feeling, baby? - I don't feel good.
[Christine] A second, don't need to do anything.
- I know, but I'm uncomfortable. - [Christine] You are?
This is just the first time that we've been able to have
a face-to-face conversation
about Ysabel's surgery.
But, like, the most major thing in her life so far, right?
[Kody] The whole COVID thing has really wrecked
a lot of experience for Christine and I.
And I'm hoping that COVID will go away,
so that we can get back in a normal relationship with each other.
- Hi! - [Christine] Oh, hi.
How's Ysabel doing today?
Yeah, I asked her. I'm, like, "Do you think you're better every day?"
- And she goes, "No." - Really?
She goes, "Just ups and downs still."
Some days she's, like, glad that she got the surgery, and other days...
It's a tough... It's tough.
She missed you. It was hard you couldn't be there.
- It was hard for her. - I know. I'm sorry.
I was okay. I was fine, surprisingly.
The doctor was shocked I was there by myself.
There's no going back, but I wish I could've been there.
And it's a real regret and so it has me going back in time,
wishing what I'd have done things differently.
If she'd hurry and recover it'd just make me feel so much better about it.
- It's done, it's where it's at. - And she's--
But I don't want her resenting me all of her life
because I wasn't there for her when she needed me the most.
I hope the same thing for her.
I hope there's a lot of forgiveness,
but I should have been there for her operation.
How is she gonna feel about that all of her life?
If it wasn't for COVID, would you have been there?
Oh, yeah. If it wasn't for COVID, I would've gone.
My biggest concern right now is how we go forward.
We can't keep living like this.
It's really, really important
that you guys go back to a social distancing, quasi quarantine system
or situation, so that I can start coming and being here.
I'm at a point now where I need you...
- There has to be a shift. - You need me to stop going places?
Uh, yeah. [chuckles]
Yeah, and I need people to stop coming here.
I mean, it would be great to have you here more.
But it's, like, you're here a couple of times a week.
If we go somewhere where someone wants to hang out with us,
like when we go to see Aspyn and Mykelti,
the girls are around people all the time that are like, "It's so good to see you."
Just finish listening.
And when we go places, they're so excited to see us
and they hang out with us all the time.
Whereas we just see you a couple of times a week.
Well, when I called Gwendlyn, she's out with a friend,
and Tony and Mykelti come over and--
'Cause we were quarantined from you anyway.
And we're only seeing you twice a week anyway, so who the hell cares?
Twice a week, but that was four days. Three days or four days.
No, it wasn't, it was twice a week.
- No, it was three or four days. - We see you twice a week.
- It was three or four days. - Okay, whatever, semantics.
Kody's actual, uh, time that he spends in each home is pretty equal, pre-COVID.
And then since COVID, it's really been
about the behaviors of each household.
The rotation we had with my schedule before COVID
was basically two nights at Janelle's, two nights at Christine's
and then two nights at Robyn's,
and I would rotate that way.
Meri wasn't in the rotation. Meri and I aren't in that kind of relationship.
We're in a state of friendship, okay?
So, before COVID, it was a little bit quicker usually.
It would be common to be, like, one day, two days
and then he'd go on and then he'd come back
and now the time is stretched out, I think, out of necessity.
Kody will come and stay longer
and then he is gone longer, and I think that makes a lot of sense.
Christine's complaining that I was never around.
I...
I don't know what she's talking about.
I was around until she started going out of town.
This is where Kody and I disagree most fundamentally all the time.
He would come over, like, five at night, have dinner with us,
be on his phone constantly, whatever, watch a movie
and then we would all go to bed.
The next morning, he was usually gone before the girls woke up.
Why can't he come over and spend a couple of days with us?
Like, whole days, I know he's somewhere for whole days.
Okay, hanging out with you isn't enough for my girls.
But I'm, like, other people wanna see us all the time.
All the people who you go and see, Christine, is on a vacation of some sort.
- We go and hang out with them. - You were basically
in New York or in New Jersey, you were on a vacation.
They prefer to do things with other people
rather than to make it possible for me to be at home with them.
How does that play out long term in a relationship?
I got people in my family that aren't like that with me.
I don't have any more to say about it.
Everybody has to make a choice here
about whether I'm supposed to be involved in their lives
or whether they're gonna go on vacation.
[Kody] She's not taking into consideration that Truely had a kidney failure
when she was three years old.
COVID-19 is anomalous, we don't understand it.
But they're saying it's attacking kidneys, it's attacking lungs.
Truely had a kidney failure and so there's a chance
that she could be at higher risk here.
It's been six months of, "Oh, Dad, this is a dumb idea",
"Oh, Dad, this isn't fair to us." "Oh, Dad..."
And I'm like, "All you would have to do is change your behavior."
Okay, that's so nebulous.
Do you know what he really means? Misbehavior.
"Your misbehavior needs to be managed."
He thinks what I'm doing is misbehavior.
It's not actually safe to go drive a car.
People get into accidents all the time,
but does that stop us from driving?
No.
I'll be honest with you, I feel slighted by this entire thing.
It's your decision. The whole COVID quarantine is your decision.
- It's your decision. - We all agreed to this.
- Yeah, but we-- - So that I could see everybody.
We agreed to this, what, six months ago?
I think it's ridiculous that we're socially distanced.
At my house, we mask when we are out and about,
we hand sanitize,
we stay socially distanced when we're out and about in public.
We do what, you know, kind of everybody does,
which is wear a mask and social distance
and, you know, hand sanitize a lot.
But then we do some extra stuff
and this is just to protect us from spreading it around
to the rest of the families and stuff.
The biggest one is that Kody's the only one going from house to house
and so that also includes anybody else, like our family and friends.
We don't have visitors and we don't go visit people.
[Kody] Here's the bottom line.
Christine's values are different than mine about this
and her desire to have me in her life is very different than Robyn's, let's say.
Robyn will do anything so that I can be home,
so she has sequestered her children.
Christine has always gone, uh, gotten mad at me
about pushing for this big picture in the family.
On the other hand, though, Robyn has always been the one
that has supported the big picture on the family.
I don't understand the difference, at all,
with me just going and doing social things, going and...
With me wearing my mask
and going and shopping and coming back home and I am the only one.
It's the same as the nanny, right? You have a nanny over.
Robyn and I have, um...
Robyn and I have an employee, we call her a nanny.
She comes over, she helps with caring for the kids
and she helps with schooling the kids.
She's over all the time.
She doesn't go anywhere, her husband's the only one that does the shopping.
So I don't understand why Ysabel can't come over and hang out?
She's devastated.
What is the nanny and her husband doing
that makes it so they can come over?
'Cause when I'm home, I do exactly what I should,
yet my girls can't see their siblings.
What does the nanny do?
We're all as safe as can be.
I think that it's time to live through restrictions.
She's not keeping the same rules,
she's not doing the same thing.
She's so full of bull [bleep].
It's been six months and we're not doing well.
We're not doing well.
I need a guarantee that we really are going to Thanksgiving,
otherwise I'm leaving.
- I guess, okay, we'll figure that out tomorrow. - I'm leaving.
Let's bring the family to a consensus on what we're gonna do.
Okay.
We are at an impasse, we disagree.
I'm just done with this conversation.
I'm done.
We are not making any progress here
and I'm hoping that tomorrow I can come back and maintain my argument,
or maybe get some backup.
- I just can't... I don't... - I've gotta go.
- Okay? - Okay. All right.
So, hopefully I'll be able to see... So, this afternoon,
depending on where I'm at, if you'll let me know what's going on with Ysabel.
- Okay. - Maybe I can figure this out.
- Okay? - Okay.
- All right, I'll see you later. - All right, bye.
[sarcastically] Good talk.
I don't know if Kody even wants to see everybody all together again.
I'm really seriously worried about that.
Maybe he's fine just living separate.
[Kody] I think it would be great
if everybody maintained our COVID protocols
so that we could all be together.
That would be awesome.
But so far there's no indicators that everybody's willing to do that.
What we have
is a fundamental breakdown of trust in the family.
[Kody] Tony and Mykelti have got a big plan to tell us
if they're having a baby girl
or a baby boy.
[Mykelti] If this doesn't work...
[Christine] If it turns out purple, we're gonna all be mad.
[Kody] Was this really well planned?
Is this really well thought out
or will it turn the correct color?
[Christine] Oh, my God!
[Kody] We're gonna gather up, and Tony and Mykelti have got a big plan
to tell us if they're having a baby girl or a baby boy.
Mykelti and Tony are wearing tie-dyed shirts, they're pink and blue,
um, because they're not giving anything away.
I'm at 16 weeks right now.
- And-- - That's four months.
-Four months. Oh, I'm four months already? -Yes.
- Oh, that's exciting. - Four months.
-We're almost half way, dude. We got this. -Oh, thank God.
[both laugh]
Tony and I are going to do a home birth with a midwife and everything.
She wants to do a home birth.
You're just worried 'cause if there's medical complications.
That's what you're worried about.
- Just the small things. - Nothing strange!
It's not like they cut women open to get babies out.
Tony is not team home birth. He's not.
He's not real thrilled about this.
Tony's worried about it because he just hasn't had the experience
or the information.
By the time I had my, what, uh, tenth home birth,
it is painful, but it's very natural.
I actually love it because I think home births are awesome.
So, I had half and half, I had three at home and three in the hospital.
[Meri] I had a home birth with Mariah.
When she was 12, when I got pregnant,
you know, obviously, I ultimately lost that baby,
but my plans were to actually have a hospital birth with that one.
[Robyn] I love that Mykelti's talking about doing a home birth.
Anybody that I can convince to do that, I feel like I've won.
[chuckles]
[Kody] After having so many children,
um, I'm totally still a home birth advocate.
But I still think it has to do with your doctor.
I mean, Christine and I had one hospital birth with Truely.
And that was a marvelous experience.
[Christine] Oh, look, it's the family. Hey, guys!
Mykelti and Tony are staying in a hotel
and they'll hang around me and my kids.
But they won't come in close contact with anybody else.
So everybody else is gonna be socially distanced from them,
and everybody will be in their own little quadrants.
Come pick if you think it's boy or girl.
I'm sitting here wearing a mask outside, not feeling like I need to,
but as a reminder to everybody else to socially distance.
I'm just trying to keep everybody being careful,
because I don't want to deal with this virus.
Am I in the wrong place?
Uh, you could possibly get wet.
Oh, I don't wanna get wet!
I didn't know this was a wet thing.
Okay, do you guys know what elephant toothpaste is?
[female child] Yes.
- Great, elephant toothpaste. - Hey, you gotta pour the thing in.
Elephant toothpaste is this chemical combination,
just the right amount of whatever ingredients,
that when they're mixed they make it, like, foam over,
like, explode a little bit, but explode, like, in foam kind of a thing.
And if it's pink foam, she's a girl.
If it's blue foam, he's a boy.
[Janelle] And the color will be what it is?
- We hope. - Hopefully.
- [laughs] - [Mykelti] If this doesn't work...
[Christine] If it turns out purple, we're gonna all be mad!
[Kody] Was this really well planned?
Is this really well thought out?
Is this gonna backfire, will it turn the correct color?
[Mykelti] Okay, okay.
I will give them credit for something unique
that we haven't done yet, and so this is fun.
I'm just sitting here being in the audience.
- Okay. - Okay.
Pick it up.
- [liquid sloshes] - [woman] Oh, my God!
- [screaming] - [laughter]
- [Kody] What color is it? - [woman] It's yellow!
[Kody] Where's the color?
It looks like a science experiment.
You know, some kind of gender explosion coming out of this bucket.
I have no idea.
[laughing]
Okay, so apparently we didn't use enough dye.
[Robyn] I don't know what the sex of the baby is right now.
Like, it's confusing. [laughs]
- [woman laughing] - [Kody] So, is it pink?
[Christine] It looks slightly more pink than blue,
so that would be my guess.
It didn't work.
The color, we don't... It's yeasty.
Here, ready?
- You guys ready? - [Kody] Yeah.
- [cheering] - [applauding]
[Christine] I was the backup. That was beautiful.
- [children babble] - It's a girl!
There you go, you guys hold it.
I'm having another granddaughter!
I'm so excited. I'm so excited.
Mykelti and Tony are going to be awesome parents.
[Kody] Ariella Mae will be so excited.
I'm excited they're having a girl, that's great.
[Robyn] Yeah, we'll have two granddaughters now.
One grandson and two granddaughters. It's awesome.
This is exciting, this is fun.
I'm super excited for them.
- [Tony groans] - [Kody] Don't get it in your eyes!
Ysabel said we had to.
- [laughter] - [all cheering]
- [Kody] Well, what's with the abuse? - Oh, my God!
[Christine] Tony threatened to smash Ysabel, like, a cupcake into Ysabel's face.
And she can't do any kind of retribution at all.
So I, obviously, generously,
out of the kindness of my heart, am defending Ysabel.
Mykelti and Tony are doing fabulous.
They communicate so well, they talk all the time.
And I just get to watch them or see them.
Um, they're incredible for each other.
They're gonna make fantastic parents.
Insane and fun and fantastic.
Most people would look at that list
and go, "That's absolutely insane to follow all of those things."
Kody is not somebody to be run by one of his wives.
Are you the head of the family?
[Kody] It's pissing me off they're looking to Robyn,
like, for some kind of approval.
I don't have a head wife in this family.
[Robyn] Today, we're going over to Meri's.
I guess Kody has sort of come up with very specific
detailed rules about how we get together as a family.
A couple of days ago, I just told Kody I think it's insanely strange
that Robyn's nanny can come over and babysit and go inside the house.
And you can be around her and everything, but we can't come over.
It would be very helpful if we could know what the nanny's doing,
and maybe we can all hang out with each other.
We've basically quarantined from each other for the past six months,
and I'm not willing to sit six feet away
from each other for Christmas or Thanksgiving.
Okay.
It is a source of frustration to me that we continue to not agree
on social distancing and rules.
I just want to, like, run away because I'm getting really frustrated with it.
- [Janelle] So, holidays. - I'm glad we're revisiting this a little bit.
I'm hoping we can revisit social distancing a bit.
This isn't how a family is. Families don't social distance.
We're not being a family right now.
We've needed to get this figured out for months. [laughs]
Ah. [laughs]
Well, you were asking why our nanny was able to hang out with our kids
and none of the other kids could.
Well, I basically wrote down the rules that we have for our nanny.
Let's look over the rules. I would love to see what rules
-you put in place. -Let's see what we got. I sanitized.
That's great.
- Do you want one of these? - Yeah.
Um...
- You know, those rules that you made up? - [Kody laughs]
- [laughs] I'm just teasing. - [Kody] I just checked with our nanny,
I said, "What are you doing..."
- I was just teasing because he's just... or... - No. No. No.
No, I actually didn't, so...
- [Kody] Um... - [Robyn] So...
[Christine] Wow, are these the rules you guys follow
- at your house? - Just gonna say it out loud.
I know everybody's, like... suspicious of me.
Just please stop. Like, just don't be suspicious of me.
- [Meri] Robyn, that was a joke. - Please realize that Kody...
Okay.
Just realize that Kody has made these rules, okay?
She was like, "Robyn, you're making these rules, aren't you?"
And Robyn got so defensive Meri turns around and goes,
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding."
No, you're not.
[Meri] I did not have any idea that this was such a touchy subject
with her and with him.
I said it completely jokingly.
The fact that he doesn't get that I will defend Robyn
all day, every day, after a decade or more of knowing her,
is really sad that he has absolutely no clue.
Okay, Robyn, I am so sorry. I was joking.
[Kody] Meri, this isn't about you, don't make it about you
- because it's not. - [Robyn] It's not about you.
[Kody] We've had kids who have very specifically blamed Robyn.
- [Robyn] It's... no, I... - Kids who don't like the rules
who are specifically blaming Robyn.
There's been misunderstandings,
and I've had to sit there and, um, correct them.
I had one of the kids actually call me and talk to me about,
like, "Can't we loosen up the rules so we can see each other as a family?"
Like, asking me. And I went, "Uh, this is not me.
I didn't make up these rules."
And I very specifically pointed out that their dad, Kody,
is not somebody to be run by one of his wives.
I'm just gonna say it out loud that I just need everybody to stop, like,
directing it my way, if that's what's happening
in your home, with your children, whatever it is,
because I can't have Ari and Sol stay two weeks away from Kody.
I am following the rules very, very closely.
Why in the world would anybody think that I'm somehow behind this?
Like why... why me?
They don't know who I am if they would think this of me.
That I would try to cause some sort of disharmony in the family.
[Kody] My kids are blaming Robyn for making the rules.
These are the rules that my doctor has given us,
and these are the rules that we're making our nanny abide by.
But she's agreed to them and they're abiding by them, and so I'm, like, going,
"Well, the rest of the family should do this as well."
[Janelle] I can't. I'm just not opening that can of worms.
There's a lot of drama. Yeah, there is.
I brought up the nanny to Kody because the kids have all brought it up to me.
And if that... the nanny's the goal,
what can we do in our home to make it
so Ysabel and Truely can hang out with their siblings?
What's not doable? I haven't even looked over it.
Where were these rules when I asked for months, and months,
and months, "How do we get together?"
Nobody offered these up.
All of a sudden the rules are being presented. It's weird to me.
Yeah, I mean, some of these are great, but "clean mail with alcohol wipes"?
I'm looking at these rules and I'm astounded.
"Wear mask in public. Sanitize hands after shopping. Wash hands often.
Sanitize purchased products and groceries with alcohol wipes
before placing inside house.
Remove shoes outside. Change clothing after visiting shops,
other homes or businesses.
No eating at sit-down restaurants. Only takeout.
Limit shopping. Use curbside pickup.
Two week quarantine after travel or having visitors.
No movie theaters, bars, fitness centers or restaurants.
Sanitizing hands, changing clothes after visiting shop.
Kids can see friends if maintaining ten foot social distance
and only for limited times.
Clean mail with alcohol wipes."
Okay, so there's the 10 billion commandments of Kody.
Well, I have birthday presents for you.
I guess I'll just leave 'em on your porch or something.
You know, so... I mean, it's okay--
- You can mock it or you can find a way. - [scoffs]
Are you too lazy to do a few chores?
All these are are little chores.
[Christine] I don't think these rules are realistic...
at all for the real world.
I don't see these rules as that hard to follow.
It means that Kody is in my home.
I'm open to having a list of rules for Kody to come over.
If he wants to give me a list of rules, I will follow those.
[laughs]
So if we follow these rules in my house...
we'll be able to get together for Christmas day.
- If I... If we... - Are you the head of the family?
- [Robyn] No. Just stop. - Kody, I was just... Sorry.
[Kody] It's pissing me off.
They're looking to Robyn, like, for some kind of approval.
I don't have a head wife in this family.
Now, I've had women try to be.
All right? I've had plenty of wives who have tried to be.
[crying] This is why it's so ridiculous to think I made these rules up.
[sighs]
[sniffs]
[sighs]
Because I know Kody's like this.
He's not gonna have a wife come in
and try to tell him what to do.
He's just not.
I'm at my wit's end with this whole bull [bleep] stuff.
Janelle, I'm just trying to say that I'd like to be able to see you
and our kids and all of our kids together more.
That kind of lack of loyalty isn't good for a marriage
5, 10, 15 years from now.
That's gonna be very hard on us.
[Kody] I'm really disappointed with how this is all unfolding.
Personally, I am feeling the depth of betrayal.
And it's the biggest rift, I think, that I have ever,
literally, ever had in my family.
[Janelle] I doubt that even if we had agreed on these rules,
they would still get together because they'd be afraid that somebody was lying.
I'm at my wit's end with this whole bull [bleep] stuff.
Now we've got the rules in order to get back together,
and I really feel like we have to make a choice.
Do we see Kody or do we do everything else?
You have to take this like you would...
religion and scripture, and you take it like a transparency
and lay it over your life and see how it fits.
Well, okay, so basically then, Kody,
I don't think it's gonna ever work for us all to get together.
Listen, these aren't the rules for me to be able to come to your house.
- Those are a different set of rules. - [laughs]
These are the rules for us to be able to actually associate as a family.
It's, like, I feel like they think I'm not doing anything,
and we are doing everything that the government tells us to do.
Most people would look at that list and go,
"That's absolutely insane to follow all of those things."
Nobody is doing this to this level.
They're doing a lot of this but not to this level, so I'll just have to...
- [Robyn] I've been doing this for seven months. - [Janelle] Yeah.
[Christine] All of it for seven months?
[Janelle] Honestly, it would have been a mental health crisis for me.
I just... I really would have had a problem.
I feel like I'm making these sacrifices so that... To protect them.
Because she's on board with it,
she gets blamed by the other wives for making the rule. [laughs]
Like, "No woman would ever do what Kody wants."
God. Gees.
[Christine] Yeah, I can see why Robyn follows him. She needs to.
He's there every single day, all the time.
But he's not at my house so we don't need to follow them.
You have to understand how I think
when the complaints are coming to me.
I feel like it's an undermining of what I'm trying to do.
I'm not trying to undermine at all.
I think I should be able to question your decisions.
We're in a marriage, and if we can't bring up things that are frustrating
without feeling like we're "undermining",
God, doesn't that sound like a dictatorship, not a marriage?
I have a lot of un-ladylike words going on in my mind,
so I'm really trying to filter it out a little bit.
[Robyn] Here it is. He's written it down.
Just [sighs] wipe off your packages.
Change your clothes when you come in from being out,
you know, in town or something.
Uh, you know, clean your groceries.
You know, whatever it is, so we can see each other.
Can we just, like, can we just get along?
My opinion is that I think some of this
is way over the top, but I'll do it for Christmas.
- Yeah, I mean, it's fine, Kody, I just... I have adult-- - If this became normal,
then we would be able to be a normal family.
I have adult children in my house
that have different things going on, so...
'Kay, Janelle, I'm just trying to say
that I'd like to be able to see you and our kids,
and all of our kids together more.
- [Janelle] Yeah. - That's all I'm saying.
Maybe this mistake of her and I not being romantic enough is a mistake.
Maybe we should be more romantic.
The fact that she's choosing the boys over me,
maybe it's just that mothering, nurturing, but these are adult...
They're supposed to be men.
They're adults.
The separation's been a little hard on us,
but, like, I'm more attached than I ever have been.
Like, every year, I get more attached.
I feel like we have a pretty good relationship.
For me, it's really just about the rules,
and having to choose between being with my kids,
and being with the rest of the family,
and I'm sorry, I'm going to choose the kids every time.
No matter how much I love Kody,
I'm gonna always choose my kids.
Aspyn and Mitch have invited me to go there, and I will go there.
Um, and 'cause they've invited Tony and Mykelti and Paedon, and I will go there.
It's not a threat,
it's just we need to have some sort of a sit-down, family Thanksgiving dinner.
Part of me loves, loves the idea
of escaping the whole COVID thing
and just going to Aspyn and Mitch's house.
They're like "Let's go ahead and get together and hang out,
and have a great Thanksgiving,"
and it sounds really good.
So you're gonna not... You're not gonna be around...
[Janelle] No, I won't be for Thanksgiving.
[Robyn] And what about you?
The kids are now dying to go see Aspyn and Mitch.
Mykelti, Tony, Paedon, they're all going to get together.
I mean, so I guess to be continued
or are we going to decide on Thanksgiving now?
No, I know I won't be there at Thanksgiving.
But I will give this to everybody
and we will be there at Christmas.
I'm gonna talk to the girls about Thanksgiving.
[Kody] All right. We can... Let us know.
Meri, you haven't said a lot, as usual.
I don't really have much to say.
Well, what do you think about everything?
There's...
A lot of this conversation doesn't really have anything to do with me.
To...
Yeah, but you and I have been sitting here waiting
for us to be able to have you be able to come over.
Oh, I've been doing the things. I've been staying away.
Okay, so...
In the hopes of doing that.
So I just keep doing it, and I'll just keep waiting.
When Meri said that she has been following these rules,
and been in her house alone,
my heart totally went out to her.
I have no idea how she can stay sane.
It must be very quiet. Very lonely.
It's actually been a little bit frustrating to me
because I want to interact with Robyn,
I know that she is quarantining,
and I'm doing the same thing, and we don't get to interact.
It's actually very frustrating to me.
[Kody] Meri, I think you're doing it.
Do you want to come over and see the kids?
I know I've been doing it. I've been telling you guys,
but you've both been like, "It's not time yet."
- No. - I've been...
No, no, no, no. That's not what I said.
I said, "Kody has to make the decision.
I don't know how it's going to blow over with the whole family
- if you and I are interacting, and nobody else is." - [Meri] Right.
[Kody] Well, I guess now you guys can schedule a playdate.
[chuckles]
You've been wanting to play with Auri and Sol, right?
I just don't understand why we didn't have the conversation earlier.
And I know that she talks to Kody about this,
so that's why I don't understand.
Why haven't we done this sooner?
[Christine] If she's following all these rules,
why isn't she hanging out with Robyn?
Why aren't the two of them getting together?
So we could...
Everyone could follow all of these rules...
For Christmas.
For the two weeks before, and then we could hang out Christmas.
I don't think we're having a family Thanksgiving together.
We're going to have a whoever's here Thanksgiving together.
All right, ladies.
Till next time. Thanks for having the meeting.
It's made me feel like the foundation that our family was built on
is, like, crumbling. I don't know.
It's a sad reality for me about where I'm at in some of my marriages.
That kind of lack of loyalty
isn't good for a marriage.
5, 10, 15 years from now,
that's gonna be very hard on us.
[Christine] Home is just hard right now.
It's hard to be home.
Kody and I are in a tough spot,
I don't really want to be around that very often.
It just hurts to be home, and it's easier to leave.
You know what COVID's brought out in our family?
Is how much we want to be a family or not.
There is rumors, and I... That...
That somehow, I'm somehow pulling strings here.
Kody is having issues with some of his other relationships,
and it is making our relationship really, really hard.
Meri. You're okay, all right?
We are.
All right?
'Kay.
I kind of forget myself, I forgot the rules, and I just went in for a hug.
[laughs] It was like, "Oops, we're not supposed to hug."
I'll be all right.
Just put it in God's hands and know
that this relationship is more important.
I don't know why we've waited so damn long.
Why did we have to have this conversation?
[Robyn] I didn't want everybody getting mad.
Please stop acting like it was my choice.
I wasn't, and I wasn't pointing my finger at you,
- Robyn, when I said that. - Don't act like I was trying to do this, 'cause I wasn't.
- I was just totally joking with you, because I'm like... - I know, but it's so real.
It was, "This is funny,
because Kody's giving you a list of rules
that you guys already abide by."
I thought that was silly.
It took me a minute to understand you were joking.
- [Meri sighs] - It did.
Okay?
There is rumors, and I... That...
That somehow... I'm somehow pulling strings here,
and that's the most hilarious thing in the world,
'cause have you ever known Kody to let a wife sit and pull strings,
to the point, like, this kind of craziness?
No. Kody is his own man.
I couldn't have pulled this off, the strictness.
[voice breaking] And all I wanted was you to be able
to come over and be around the kids.
I just didn't want everybody upset
if we were doing something against, like, the set rules or whatever.
Well, I still just don't understand why, like, we had...
- [Robyn] Because. Because... - Okay. It's fine, it's fine.
[Robyn] Meri.
Because everybody was following these rules,
and if you and I weren't following them
as far as interaction with each other,
then people would feel like it was unfair or we weren't being honest.
That's why.
So, Kody was saying to me, "I think you can...
You and Meri are being really careful.
You guys could get together."
And I'm like, "Kody, that's a change in protocol,
and if you're gonna change protocol,
then you need to tell everybody."
And he was like, "Well, no, it's fine.
I said it's okay, you guys are, um...
You two are being really careful, you guys can see each other."
And I'm like, "Well, that's not fair."
My kids ask about you all the time, so just...
I'm glad you have your kids and Kody.
[Robyn] I know.
I just didn't know what to do, he's...
He's so strict, there's so many rules.
This is the first time he's actually, like, talking about it,
and going, "Okay, maybe this can happen."
And having everybody see what it is that they can do to be together.
Now we can 'cause I know you're following these rules, too.
Yeah, I'm glad that Robyn came back and we talked about
the stuff a little bit, you know.
And I'm glad that she's okay with me.
[chuckles]
'Cause I don't like it when she's not.
'Kay.
All right.
- Have a good rest of your day. - Love you.
- [Meri] Love you.
[Robyn] I love Meri, and I hate that she is alone.
I want her to be happy.
You know?
If I could wave a magic wand that was,
you know, that I had say over what was going on,
I would make it so that Meri was happy.
That her and Kody could figure their stuff out.
But I can't.
I cannot express...
enough how hard it is to...
be in a plural family where my husband
and his wife, his other wife, is having a problem...
and it completely affects my life, but I have...
I'm really supposed to stay out of it, and I have no say.
The lines are hard between our different marriages,
because it's like, 'kay, you gotta respect
that she's got her own relationship with Kody,
but at the same time, their relationship affects yours.
And right now, I am living right through that,
because Kody is having issues with some of his other relationships,
and it is making our relationship really, really hard.
[Kody reading]
Dad wants to play stupid games, we can play along.
It's been eight months since I've been able to hang out with my dad,
of course I'm gonna rebel a little.
I'm trying here.
Kody came and stayed for, like, five or six days, and I'm kinda like,
"Wow. That's a lot of work."
For 10 years, I've had Kody at my house
once or twice a week.
Lately, it's been constantly.
You know, I'm sure that every plural wife
is like "Whoo, that's the way you want it!"
And I'm like... [winces]
So, you're going to Utah?
Janelle is indicating by her actions
that she would rather have the boys around than me.
You don't think I'm aware? You don't think I'm being careful?
I think you understand what I'm talking about
and I want you to just respect that.
[Janelle] Yeah, [bleep] off.