1 00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,269 [Kody] Previously on Sister Wives. 2 00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:06,038 Plural marriage is a struggle. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,073 It's a hard thing. 4 00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:10,743 You're either in, complying with our standard, 5 00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:13,846 or I'm not coming around. 6 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,914 I am the head of the household some places, 7 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,549 I'm just not right here. 8 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,151 It would be nice if we could figure out 9 00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:23,689 when, at what point, we could be okay to socialize as a family. 10 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:27,192 It's a goat rodeo of extreme proportions. 11 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:30,429 She's going off to have a major surgery done 12 00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:32,297 and I can't hug her. 13 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,000 [Christine] All right, Ysabel, here we are. 14 00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:41,273 [Christine] Kody and I have been struggling for a while. 15 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:45,110 This is not a safe conversation anymore. I'm sorry, it's just not. 16 00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:48,514 I'm not gonna talk to you. 17 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,017 Look, he's not even my friend right now. 18 00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:23,348 [Meri] I think after we moved to Flagstaff, 19 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:27,019 all of us were seeing fractures in the family culture 20 00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:28,153 and then COVID hit. 21 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:31,590 And that just made it, like, exponentially worse, 22 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,426 and it's been kind of a rough couple of years. 23 00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:39,465 [Robyn] It's really taken a toll on our family culture. 24 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:44,036 There's these little kinda tension points and, you know, 25 00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:48,107 my kids and I are feeling that quite a bit, and we're tired of it. 26 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,177 It's definitely put a strain 27 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:56,915 and a lot of the conversations revolve around COVID and it's exhausting. 28 00:01:56,917 --> 00:02:00,819 And Kody's the only one who goes from house to house, so... 29 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:03,522 it's done a lot to our psyche. 30 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,891 [Meri] We're definitely not seeing each other. 31 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,026 There's no protocol in place 32 00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:11,063 that we can see each other. 33 00:02:11,065 --> 00:02:12,698 [Janelle] I think COVID, believe it or not, 34 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:13,966 has been the hardest thing we've ever faced 35 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,101 as far as wrecking our family culture. 36 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:19,104 I'm beginning to worry, the longer this goes on, 37 00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:21,540 that we may not recover. 38 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,145 [Kody] Christine's back from New Jersey. 39 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:29,548 I'm going over to visit just to touch base. 40 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,986 [Christine] We were away from home for, like, 41 00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:36,555 six weeks, we just barely got back like a week ago. 42 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:40,792 So, Ysabel's surgery was yesterday 43 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,494 and last night was brutal. 44 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,563 It was brutal. 45 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,832 - [Christine] How you feeling, baby? - I don't feel good. 46 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,567 [Christine] A second, don't need to do anything. 47 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,836 - I know, but I'm uncomfortable. - [Christine] You are? 48 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,138 This is just the first time that we've been able to have 49 00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,107 a face-to-face conversation 50 00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,509 about Ysabel's surgery. 51 00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:01,113 But, like, the most major thing in her life so far, right? 52 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,951 [Kody] The whole COVID thing has really wrecked 53 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,921 a lot of experience for Christine and I. 54 00:03:08,923 --> 00:03:12,558 And I'm hoping that COVID will go away, 55 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:16,161 so that we can get back in a normal relationship with each other. 56 00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,429 - Hi! - [Christine] Oh, hi. 57 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,998 How's Ysabel doing today? 58 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,235 Yeah, I asked her. I'm, like, "Do you think you're better every day?" 59 00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:25,404 - And she goes, "No." - Really? 60 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,172 She goes, "Just ups and downs still." 61 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:31,410 Some days she's, like, glad that she got the surgery, and other days... 62 00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:35,414 It's a tough... It's tough. 63 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,685 She missed you. It was hard you couldn't be there. 64 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:42,054 - It was hard for her. - I know. I'm sorry. 65 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,257 I was okay. I was fine, surprisingly. 66 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:47,960 The doctor was shocked I was there by myself. 67 00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:53,198 There's no going back, but I wish I could've been there. 68 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,701 And it's a real regret and so it has me going back in time, 69 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:58,170 wishing what I'd have done things differently. 70 00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:02,140 If she'd hurry and recover it'd just make me feel so much better about it. 71 00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,476 - It's done, it's where it's at. - And she's-- 72 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,878 But I don't want her resenting me all of her life 73 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,315 because I wasn't there for her when she needed me the most. 74 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:14,152 I hope the same thing for her. 75 00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:18,023 I hope there's a lot of forgiveness, 76 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,492 but I should have been there for her operation. 77 00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,763 How is she gonna feel about that all of her life? 78 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,032 If it wasn't for COVID, would you have been there? 79 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:30,302 Oh, yeah. If it wasn't for COVID, I would've gone. 80 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,938 My biggest concern right now is how we go forward. 81 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,873 We can't keep living like this. 82 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,975 It's really, really important 83 00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:43,915 that you guys go back to a social distancing, quasi quarantine system 84 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:47,653 or situation, so that I can start coming and being here. 85 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,855 I'm at a point now where I need you... 86 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:52,190 - There has to be a shift. - You need me to stop going places? 87 00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:54,893 Uh, yeah. [chuckles] 88 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,029 Yeah, and I need people to stop coming here. 89 00:04:57,031 --> 00:05:00,599 I mean, it would be great to have you here more. 90 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:03,035 But it's, like, you're here a couple of times a week. 91 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,805 If we go somewhere where someone wants to hang out with us, 92 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,540 like when we go to see Aspyn and Mykelti, 93 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:12,577 the girls are around people all the time that are like, "It's so good to see you." 94 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,112 Just finish listening. 95 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,684 And when we go places, they're so excited to see us 96 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:22,054 and they hang out with us all the time. 97 00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:25,090 Whereas we just see you a couple of times a week. 98 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:27,726 Well, when I called Gwendlyn, she's out with a friend, 99 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:28,927 and Tony and Mykelti come over and-- 100 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,962 'Cause we were quarantined from you anyway. 101 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:34,132 And we're only seeing you twice a week anyway, so who the hell cares? 102 00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:38,704 Twice a week, but that was four days. Three days or four days. 103 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,572 No, it wasn't, it was twice a week. 104 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:43,875 - No, it was three or four days. - We see you twice a week. 105 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,411 - It was three or four days. - Okay, whatever, semantics. 106 00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:56,321 Kody's actual, uh, time that he spends in each home is pretty equal, pre-COVID. 107 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:57,956 And then since COVID, it's really been 108 00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:01,693 about the behaviors of each household. 109 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:05,564 The rotation we had with my schedule before COVID 110 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:09,101 was basically two nights at Janelle's, two nights at Christine's 111 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,535 and then two nights at Robyn's, 112 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,270 and I would rotate that way. 113 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:16,908 Meri wasn't in the rotation. Meri and I aren't in that kind of relationship. 114 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:21,113 We're in a state of friendship, okay? 115 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,717 So, before COVID, it was a little bit quicker usually. 116 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,120 It would be common to be, like, one day, two days 117 00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:30,122 and then he'd go on and then he'd come back 118 00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:33,792 and now the time is stretched out, I think, out of necessity. 119 00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:36,161 Kody will come and stay longer 120 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:41,299 and then he is gone longer, and I think that makes a lot of sense. 121 00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:46,271 Christine's complaining that I was never around. 122 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,173 I... 123 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,376 I don't know what she's talking about. 124 00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:55,347 I was around until she started going out of town. 125 00:06:57,183 --> 00:07:00,819 This is where Kody and I disagree most fundamentally all the time. 126 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:04,122 He would come over, like, five at night, have dinner with us, 127 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:08,460 be on his phone constantly, whatever, watch a movie 128 00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,061 and then we would all go to bed. 129 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:14,166 The next morning, he was usually gone before the girls woke up. 130 00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:16,568 Why can't he come over and spend a couple of days with us? 131 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,938 Like, whole days, I know he's somewhere for whole days. 132 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:24,042 Okay, hanging out with you isn't enough for my girls. 133 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,079 But I'm, like, other people wanna see us all the time. 134 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,782 All the people who you go and see, Christine, is on a vacation of some sort. 135 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,717 - We go and hang out with them. - You were basically 136 00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:36,054 in New York or in New Jersey, you were on a vacation. 137 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,559 They prefer to do things with other people 138 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:45,664 rather than to make it possible for me to be at home with them. 139 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:48,500 How does that play out long term in a relationship? 140 00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:55,240 I got people in my family that aren't like that with me. 141 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,309 I don't have any more to say about it. 142 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,912 Everybody has to make a choice here 143 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,815 about whether I'm supposed to be involved in their lives 144 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,384 or whether they're gonna go on vacation. 145 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:11,122 [Kody] She's not taking into consideration that Truely had a kidney failure 146 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,491 when she was three years old. 147 00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:15,827 COVID-19 is anomalous, we don't understand it. 148 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,964 But they're saying it's attacking kidneys, it's attacking lungs. 149 00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:22,701 Truely had a kidney failure and so there's a chance 150 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,603 that she could be at higher risk here. 151 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,873 It's been six months of, "Oh, Dad, this is a dumb idea", 152 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,208 "Oh, Dad, this isn't fair to us." "Oh, Dad..." 153 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:36,214 And I'm like, "All you would have to do is change your behavior." 154 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,384 Okay, that's so nebulous. 155 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,021 Do you know what he really means? Misbehavior. 156 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,957 "Your misbehavior needs to be managed." 157 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:49,628 He thinks what I'm doing is misbehavior. 158 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,696 It's not actually safe to go drive a car. 159 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,432 People get into accidents all the time, 160 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,167 but does that stop us from driving? 161 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,469 No. 162 00:08:57,471 --> 00:09:01,706 I'll be honest with you, I feel slighted by this entire thing. 163 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,976 It's your decision. The whole COVID quarantine is your decision. 164 00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,148 - It's your decision. - We all agreed to this. 165 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,250 - Yeah, but we-- - So that I could see everybody. 166 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:15,554 We agreed to this, what, six months ago? 167 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:21,326 I think it's ridiculous that we're socially distanced. 168 00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:26,197 At my house, we mask when we are out and about, 169 00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,900 we hand sanitize, 170 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:32,938 we stay socially distanced when we're out and about in public. 171 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,173 We do what, you know, kind of everybody does, 172 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,776 which is wear a mask and social distance 173 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,979 and, you know, hand sanitize a lot. 174 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,180 But then we do some extra stuff 175 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:45,717 and this is just to protect us from spreading it around 176 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,419 to the rest of the families and stuff. 177 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:50,555 The biggest one is that Kody's the only one going from house to house 178 00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:55,160 and so that also includes anybody else, like our family and friends. 179 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:58,063 We don't have visitors and we don't go visit people. 180 00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,601 [Kody] Here's the bottom line. 181 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:05,870 Christine's values are different than mine about this 182 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:10,709 and her desire to have me in her life is very different than Robyn's, let's say. 183 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,744 Robyn will do anything so that I can be home, 184 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,679 so she has sequestered her children. 185 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:18,083 Christine has always gone, uh, gotten mad at me 186 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:22,621 about pushing for this big picture in the family. 187 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,956 On the other hand, though, Robyn has always been the one 188 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,926 that has supported the big picture on the family. 189 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:30,128 I don't understand the difference, at all, 190 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,865 with me just going and doing social things, going and... 191 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,734 With me wearing my mask 192 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:40,338 and going and shopping and coming back home and I am the only one. 193 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,041 It's the same as the nanny, right? You have a nanny over. 194 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,276 Robyn and I have, um... 195 00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:48,980 Robyn and I have an employee, we call her a nanny. 196 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,249 She comes over, she helps with caring for the kids 197 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,784 and she helps with schooling the kids. 198 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,353 She's over all the time. 199 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,990 She doesn't go anywhere, her husband's the only one that does the shopping. 200 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,960 So I don't understand why Ysabel can't come over and hang out? 201 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,228 She's devastated. 202 00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:10,535 What is the nanny and her husband doing 203 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:14,072 that makes it so they can come over? 204 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:17,976 'Cause when I'm home, I do exactly what I should, 205 00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:22,147 yet my girls can't see their siblings. 206 00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:25,183 What does the nanny do? 207 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,088 We're all as safe as can be. 208 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,323 I think that it's time to live through restrictions. 209 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,060 She's not keeping the same rules, 210 00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,828 she's not doing the same thing. 211 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,997 She's so full of bull [bleep]. 212 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:44,202 It's been six months and we're not doing well. 213 00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:46,438 We're not doing well. 214 00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:51,776 I need a guarantee that we really are going to Thanksgiving, 215 00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:53,111 otherwise I'm leaving. 216 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,313 - I guess, okay, we'll figure that out tomorrow. - I'm leaving. 217 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:04,155 Let's bring the family to a consensus on what we're gonna do. 218 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,022 Okay. 219 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:14,132 We are at an impasse, we disagree. 220 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,167 I'm just done with this conversation. 221 00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:17,969 I'm done. 222 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,206 We are not making any progress here 223 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:26,945 and I'm hoping that tomorrow I can come back and maintain my argument, 224 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:29,347 or maybe get some backup. 225 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,953 - I just can't... I don't... - I've gotta go. 226 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,721 - Okay? - Okay. All right. 227 00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:40,792 So, hopefully I'll be able to see... So, this afternoon, 228 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:44,362 depending on where I'm at, if you'll let me know what's going on with Ysabel. 229 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,631 - Okay. - Maybe I can figure this out. 230 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,866 - Okay? - Okay. 231 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,534 - All right, I'll see you later. - All right, bye. 232 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,507 [sarcastically] Good talk. 233 00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:04,949 I don't know if Kody even wants to see everybody all together again. 234 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,152 I'm really seriously worried about that. 235 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,754 Maybe he's fine just living separate. 236 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,055 [Kody] I think it would be great 237 00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:16,227 if everybody maintained our COVID protocols 238 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,996 so that we could all be together. 239 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,231 That would be awesome. 240 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:23,601 But so far there's no indicators that everybody's willing to do that. 241 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:24,669 What we have 242 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:28,373 is a fundamental breakdown of trust in the family. 243 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:39,818 [Kody] Tony and Mykelti have got a big plan to tell us 244 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,152 if they're having a baby girl 245 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,188 or a baby boy. 246 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,489 [Mykelti] If this doesn't work... 247 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,224 [Christine] If it turns out purple, we're gonna all be mad. 248 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,159 [Kody] Was this really well planned? 249 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,928 Is this really well thought out 250 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,763 or will it turn the correct color? 251 00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:53,364 [Christine] Oh, my God! 252 00:13:56,869 --> 00:14:00,839 [Kody] We're gonna gather up, and Tony and Mykelti have got a big plan 253 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:05,510 to tell us if they're having a baby girl or a baby boy. 254 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:11,082 Mykelti and Tony are wearing tie-dyed shirts, they're pink and blue, 255 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,752 um, because they're not giving anything away. 256 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,221 I'm at 16 weeks right now. 257 00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:18,256 - And-- - That's four months. 258 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,958 -Four months. Oh, I'm four months already? -Yes. 259 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,126 - Oh, that's exciting. - Four months. 260 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,462 -We're almost half way, dude. We got this. -Oh, thank God. 261 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,097 [both laugh] 262 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,499 Tony and I are going to do a home birth with a midwife and everything. 263 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,435 She wants to do a home birth. 264 00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,670 You're just worried 'cause if there's medical complications. 265 00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,272 That's what you're worried about. 266 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:36,674 - Just the small things. - Nothing strange! 267 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:39,043 It's not like they cut women open to get babies out. 268 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,713 Tony is not team home birth. He's not. 269 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,248 He's not real thrilled about this. 270 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,918 Tony's worried about it because he just hasn't had the experience 271 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:47,986 or the information. 272 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:52,523 By the time I had my, what, uh, tenth home birth, 273 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:55,226 it is painful, but it's very natural. 274 00:14:57,496 --> 00:15:00,932 I actually love it because I think home births are awesome. 275 00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:04,435 So, I had half and half, I had three at home and three in the hospital. 276 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:07,572 [Meri] I had a home birth with Mariah. 277 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,941 When she was 12, when I got pregnant, 278 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,777 you know, obviously, I ultimately lost that baby, 279 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:18,449 but my plans were to actually have a hospital birth with that one. 280 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,853 [Robyn] I love that Mykelti's talking about doing a home birth. 281 00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:24,722 Anybody that I can convince to do that, I feel like I've won. 282 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,057 [chuckles] 283 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,092 [Kody] After having so many children, 284 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:32,563 um, I'm totally still a home birth advocate. 285 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,699 But I still think it has to do with your doctor. 286 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,835 I mean, Christine and I had one hospital birth with Truely. 287 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,705 And that was a marvelous experience. 288 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:46,744 [Christine] Oh, look, it's the family. Hey, guys! 289 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,780 Mykelti and Tony are staying in a hotel 290 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,783 and they'll hang around me and my kids. 291 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,118 But they won't come in close contact with anybody else. 292 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,821 So everybody else is gonna be socially distanced from them, 293 00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:59,557 and everybody will be in their own little quadrants. 294 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:02,660 Come pick if you think it's boy or girl. 295 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:07,532 I'm sitting here wearing a mask outside, not feeling like I need to, 296 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:11,602 but as a reminder to everybody else to socially distance. 297 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:14,839 I'm just trying to keep everybody being careful, 298 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:20,211 because I don't want to deal with this virus. 299 00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,148 Am I in the wrong place? 300 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,317 Uh, you could possibly get wet. 301 00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,286 Oh, I don't wanna get wet! 302 00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:30,788 I didn't know this was a wet thing. 303 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,023 Okay, do you guys know what elephant toothpaste is? 304 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,691 [female child] Yes. 305 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,793 - Great, elephant toothpaste. - Hey, you gotta pour the thing in. 306 00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:38,563 Elephant toothpaste is this chemical combination, 307 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:41,699 just the right amount of whatever ingredients, 308 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:45,236 that when they're mixed they make it, like, foam over, 309 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:49,540 like, explode a little bit, but explode, like, in foam kind of a thing. 310 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,909 And if it's pink foam, she's a girl. 311 00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:55,013 If it's blue foam, he's a boy. 312 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,714 [Janelle] And the color will be what it is? 313 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,082 - We hope. - Hopefully. 314 00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:00,051 - [laughs] - [Mykelti] If this doesn't work... 315 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,186 [Christine] If it turns out purple, we're gonna all be mad! 316 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,888 [Kody] Was this really well planned? 317 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,790 Is this really well thought out? 318 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:09,494 Is this gonna backfire, will it turn the correct color? 319 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,064 [Mykelti] Okay, okay. 320 00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:16,601 I will give them credit for something unique 321 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,569 that we haven't done yet, and so this is fun. 322 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,072 I'm just sitting here being in the audience. 323 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:21,973 - Okay. - Okay. 324 00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:23,207 Pick it up. 325 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:26,110 - [liquid sloshes] - [woman] Oh, my God! 326 00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:30,214 - [screaming] - [laughter] 327 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,949 - [Kody] What color is it? - [woman] It's yellow! 328 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,017 [Kody] Where's the color? 329 00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:35,153 It looks like a science experiment. 330 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:40,391 You know, some kind of gender explosion coming out of this bucket. 331 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,093 I have no idea. 332 00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:44,095 [laughing] 333 00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:47,231 Okay, so apparently we didn't use enough dye. 334 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,534 [Robyn] I don't know what the sex of the baby is right now. 335 00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:51,702 Like, it's confusing. [laughs] 336 00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:54,205 - [woman laughing] - [Kody] So, is it pink? 337 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,307 [Christine] It looks slightly more pink than blue, 338 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,675 so that would be my guess. 339 00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:58,843 It didn't work. 340 00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:02,080 The color, we don't... It's yeasty. 341 00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,514 Here, ready? 342 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,083 - You guys ready? - [Kody] Yeah. 343 00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:07,985 - [cheering] - [applauding] 344 00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:10,154 [Christine] I was the backup. That was beautiful. 345 00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:13,524 - [children babble] - It's a girl! 346 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:14,992 There you go, you guys hold it. 347 00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,662 I'm having another granddaughter! 348 00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,997 I'm so excited. I'm so excited. 349 00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,999 Mykelti and Tony are going to be awesome parents. 350 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,838 [Kody] Ariella Mae will be so excited. 351 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,107 I'm excited they're having a girl, that's great. 352 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,809 [Robyn] Yeah, we'll have two granddaughters now. 353 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,545 One grandson and two granddaughters. It's awesome. 354 00:18:35,814 --> 00:18:37,682 This is exciting, this is fun. 355 00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:40,485 I'm super excited for them. 356 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,386 - [Tony groans] - [Kody] Don't get it in your eyes! 357 00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,757 Ysabel said we had to. 358 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,693 - [laughter] - [all cheering] 359 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:52,163 - [Kody] Well, what's with the abuse? - Oh, my God! 360 00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:55,766 [Christine] Tony threatened to smash Ysabel, like, a cupcake into Ysabel's face. 361 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:58,503 And she can't do any kind of retribution at all. 362 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:02,006 So I, obviously, generously, 363 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:05,009 out of the kindness of my heart, am defending Ysabel. 364 00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,180 Mykelti and Tony are doing fabulous. 365 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:13,251 They communicate so well, they talk all the time. 366 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:17,121 And I just get to watch them or see them. 367 00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:20,091 Um, they're incredible for each other. 368 00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:22,193 They're gonna make fantastic parents. 369 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:25,329 Insane and fun and fantastic. 370 00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:30,868 Most people would look at that list 371 00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:33,971 and go, "That's absolutely insane to follow all of those things." 372 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:38,776 Kody is not somebody to be run by one of his wives. 373 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,144 Are you the head of the family? 374 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,880 [Kody] It's pissing me off they're looking to Robyn, 375 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,682 like, for some kind of approval. 376 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,018 I don't have a head wife in this family. 377 00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:01,666 [Robyn] Today, we're going over to Meri's. 378 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:05,703 I guess Kody has sort of come up with very specific 379 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:09,540 detailed rules about how we get together as a family. 380 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:16,380 A couple of days ago, I just told Kody I think it's insanely strange 381 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:20,518 that Robyn's nanny can come over and babysit and go inside the house. 382 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:25,122 And you can be around her and everything, but we can't come over. 383 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,728 It would be very helpful if we could know what the nanny's doing, 384 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,197 and maybe we can all hang out with each other. 385 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:39,770 We've basically quarantined from each other for the past six months, 386 00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:43,040 and I'm not willing to sit six feet away 387 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:46,410 from each other for Christmas or Thanksgiving. 388 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,212 Okay. 389 00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:53,217 It is a source of frustration to me that we continue to not agree 390 00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,852 on social distancing and rules. 391 00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:58,990 I just want to, like, run away because I'm getting really frustrated with it. 392 00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:02,827 - [Janelle] So, holidays. - I'm glad we're revisiting this a little bit. 393 00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:06,130 I'm hoping we can revisit social distancing a bit. 394 00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:09,967 This isn't how a family is. Families don't social distance. 395 00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,003 We're not being a family right now. 396 00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:15,406 We've needed to get this figured out for months. [laughs] 397 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,808 Ah. [laughs] 398 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:23,714 Well, you were asking why our nanny was able to hang out with our kids 399 00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:26,150 and none of the other kids could. 400 00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:31,856 Well, I basically wrote down the rules that we have for our nanny. 401 00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:35,293 Let's look over the rules. I would love to see what rules 402 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:37,194 -you put in place. -Let's see what we got. I sanitized. 403 00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:38,496 That's great. 404 00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:41,999 - Do you want one of these? - Yeah. 405 00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:43,534 Um... 406 00:21:44,503 --> 00:21:47,772 - You know, those rules that you made up? - [Kody laughs] 407 00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,641 - [laughs] I'm just teasing. - [Kody] I just checked with our nanny, 408 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,743 I said, "What are you doing..." 409 00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:56,280 - I was just teasing because he's just... or... - No. No. No. 410 00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:58,749 No, I actually didn't, so... 411 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,151 - [Kody] Um... - [Robyn] So... 412 00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,986 [Christine] Wow, are these the rules you guys follow 413 00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,621 - at your house? - Just gonna say it out loud. 414 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:06,957 I know everybody's, like... suspicious of me. 415 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:10,461 Just please stop. Like, just don't be suspicious of me. 416 00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:16,734 - [Meri] Robyn, that was a joke. - Please realize that Kody... 417 00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:18,903 Okay. 418 00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:23,341 Just realize that Kody has made these rules, okay? 419 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,209 She was like, "Robyn, you're making these rules, aren't you?" 420 00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:27,878 And Robyn got so defensive Meri turns around and goes, 421 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:28,813 "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding." 422 00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:31,148 No, you're not. 423 00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:36,754 [Meri] I did not have any idea that this was such a touchy subject 424 00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:38,689 with her and with him. 425 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,058 I said it completely jokingly. 426 00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:46,297 The fact that he doesn't get that I will defend Robyn 427 00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:53,537 all day, every day, after a decade or more of knowing her, 428 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:56,741 is really sad that he has absolutely no clue. 429 00:22:56,743 --> 00:23:01,145 Okay, Robyn, I am so sorry. I was joking. 430 00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,848 [Kody] Meri, this isn't about you, don't make it about you 431 00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:05,182 - because it's not. - [Robyn] It's not about you. 432 00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:08,119 [Kody] We've had kids who have very specifically blamed Robyn. 433 00:23:08,121 --> 00:23:10,020 - [Robyn] It's... no, I... - Kids who don't like the rules 434 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,022 who are specifically blaming Robyn. 435 00:23:14,659 --> 00:23:15,893 There's been misunderstandings, 436 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:20,231 and I've had to sit there and, um, correct them. 437 00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:24,969 I had one of the kids actually call me and talk to me about, 438 00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:30,007 like, "Can't we loosen up the rules so we can see each other as a family?" 439 00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:37,081 Like, asking me. And I went, "Uh, this is not me. 440 00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:39,750 I didn't make up these rules." 441 00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:45,556 And I very specifically pointed out that their dad, Kody, 442 00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:49,260 is not somebody to be run by one of his wives. 443 00:23:55,033 --> 00:23:59,904 I'm just gonna say it out loud that I just need everybody to stop, like, 444 00:23:59,906 --> 00:24:02,807 directing it my way, if that's what's happening 445 00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:05,543 in your home, with your children, whatever it is, 446 00:24:05,545 --> 00:24:09,079 because I can't have Ari and Sol stay two weeks away from Kody. 447 00:24:09,081 --> 00:24:13,217 I am following the rules very, very closely. 448 00:24:15,821 --> 00:24:19,356 Why in the world would anybody think that I'm somehow behind this? 449 00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:22,126 Like why... why me? 450 00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:26,630 They don't know who I am if they would think this of me. 451 00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:32,636 That I would try to cause some sort of disharmony in the family. 452 00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:38,409 [Kody] My kids are blaming Robyn for making the rules. 453 00:24:38,411 --> 00:24:40,644 These are the rules that my doctor has given us, 454 00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:43,948 and these are the rules that we're making our nanny abide by. 455 00:24:43,950 --> 00:24:47,618 But she's agreed to them and they're abiding by them, and so I'm, like, going, 456 00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:50,054 "Well, the rest of the family should do this as well." 457 00:24:50,056 --> 00:24:53,824 [Janelle] I can't. I'm just not opening that can of worms. 458 00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:56,560 There's a lot of drama. Yeah, there is. 459 00:24:59,798 --> 00:25:03,734 I brought up the nanny to Kody because the kids have all brought it up to me. 460 00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:05,503 And if that... the nanny's the goal, 461 00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:07,738 what can we do in our home to make it 462 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:11,108 so Ysabel and Truely can hang out with their siblings? 463 00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:14,144 What's not doable? I haven't even looked over it. 464 00:25:15,947 --> 00:25:19,183 Where were these rules when I asked for months, and months, 465 00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:20,951 and months, "How do we get together?" 466 00:25:20,953 --> 00:25:22,786 Nobody offered these up. 467 00:25:22,788 --> 00:25:26,323 All of a sudden the rules are being presented. It's weird to me. 468 00:25:27,726 --> 00:25:31,195 Yeah, I mean, some of these are great, but "clean mail with alcohol wipes"? 469 00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:35,866 I'm looking at these rules and I'm astounded. 470 00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:41,906 "Wear mask in public. Sanitize hands after shopping. Wash hands often. 471 00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:45,476 Sanitize purchased products and groceries with alcohol wipes 472 00:25:45,478 --> 00:25:48,145 before placing inside house. 473 00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:52,249 Remove shoes outside. Change clothing after visiting shops, 474 00:25:52,251 --> 00:25:54,218 other homes or businesses. 475 00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:57,755 No eating at sit-down restaurants. Only takeout. 476 00:25:57,757 --> 00:26:00,524 Limit shopping. Use curbside pickup. 477 00:26:00,526 --> 00:26:04,161 Two week quarantine after travel or having visitors. 478 00:26:04,163 --> 00:26:07,998 No movie theaters, bars, fitness centers or restaurants. 479 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,969 Sanitizing hands, changing clothes after visiting shop. 480 00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:14,872 Kids can see friends if maintaining ten foot social distance 481 00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:16,273 and only for limited times. 482 00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:18,509 Clean mail with alcohol wipes." 483 00:26:19,678 --> 00:26:22,947 Okay, so there's the 10 billion commandments of Kody. 484 00:26:22,949 --> 00:26:25,015 Well, I have birthday presents for you. 485 00:26:25,017 --> 00:26:27,017 I guess I'll just leave 'em on your porch or something. 486 00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:29,753 You know, so... I mean, it's okay-- 487 00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:32,423 - You can mock it or you can find a way. - [scoffs] 488 00:26:33,191 --> 00:26:34,792 Are you too lazy to do a few chores? 489 00:26:34,794 --> 00:26:37,294 All these are are little chores. 490 00:26:37,296 --> 00:26:39,363 [Christine] I don't think these rules are realistic... 491 00:26:40,699 --> 00:26:42,299 at all for the real world. 492 00:26:44,869 --> 00:26:48,572 I don't see these rules as that hard to follow. 493 00:26:48,574 --> 00:26:52,142 It means that Kody is in my home. 494 00:26:54,613 --> 00:27:00,017 I'm open to having a list of rules for Kody to come over. 495 00:27:00,019 --> 00:27:02,553 If he wants to give me a list of rules, I will follow those. 496 00:27:04,055 --> 00:27:05,356 [laughs] 497 00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:12,062 So if we follow these rules in my house... 498 00:27:12,064 --> 00:27:15,099 we'll be able to get together for Christmas day. 499 00:27:15,101 --> 00:27:18,268 - If I... If we... - Are you the head of the family? 500 00:27:18,270 --> 00:27:19,770 - [Robyn] No. Just stop. - Kody, I was just... Sorry. 501 00:27:19,772 --> 00:27:21,171 [Kody] It's pissing me off. 502 00:27:21,539 --> 00:27:24,208 They're looking to Robyn, like, for some kind of approval. 503 00:27:24,210 --> 00:27:27,111 I don't have a head wife in this family. 504 00:27:30,448 --> 00:27:33,984 Now, I've had women try to be. 505 00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:37,388 All right? I've had plenty of wives who have tried to be. 506 00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:43,293 [crying] This is why it's so ridiculous to think I made these rules up. 507 00:27:45,263 --> 00:27:46,363 [sighs] 508 00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:48,032 [sniffs] 509 00:27:48,133 --> 00:27:49,400 [sighs] 510 00:27:51,069 --> 00:27:53,137 Because I know Kody's like this. 511 00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:55,973 He's not gonna have a wife come in 512 00:27:55,975 --> 00:27:58,008 and try to tell him what to do. 513 00:27:59,110 --> 00:28:00,344 He's just not. 514 00:28:04,482 --> 00:28:07,918 I'm at my wit's end with this whole bull [bleep] stuff. 515 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:11,388 Janelle, I'm just trying to say that I'd like to be able to see you 516 00:28:11,390 --> 00:28:14,091 and our kids and all of our kids together more. 517 00:28:14,093 --> 00:28:17,828 That kind of lack of loyalty isn't good for a marriage 518 00:28:17,830 --> 00:28:19,697 5, 10, 15 years from now. 519 00:28:19,699 --> 00:28:22,433 That's gonna be very hard on us. 520 00:28:27,772 --> 00:28:31,075 [Kody] I'm really disappointed with how this is all unfolding. 521 00:28:31,077 --> 00:28:35,679 Personally, I am feeling the depth of betrayal. 522 00:28:35,681 --> 00:28:37,881 And it's the biggest rift, I think, that I have ever, 523 00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:39,283 literally, ever had in my family. 524 00:28:41,986 --> 00:28:44,455 [Janelle] I doubt that even if we had agreed on these rules, 525 00:28:44,457 --> 00:28:48,459 they would still get together because they'd be afraid that somebody was lying. 526 00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:53,363 I'm at my wit's end with this whole bull [bleep] stuff. 527 00:28:55,066 --> 00:29:00,137 Now we've got the rules in order to get back together, 528 00:29:00,139 --> 00:29:02,940 and I really feel like we have to make a choice. 529 00:29:02,942 --> 00:29:07,010 Do we see Kody or do we do everything else? 530 00:29:09,781 --> 00:29:14,151 You have to take this like you would... 531 00:29:14,153 --> 00:29:18,055 religion and scripture, and you take it like a transparency 532 00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:21,525 and lay it over your life and see how it fits. 533 00:29:21,527 --> 00:29:22,793 Well, okay, so basically then, Kody, 534 00:29:22,795 --> 00:29:25,162 I don't think it's gonna ever work for us all to get together. 535 00:29:25,164 --> 00:29:28,599 Listen, these aren't the rules for me to be able to come to your house. 536 00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:30,534 - Those are a different set of rules. - [laughs] 537 00:29:30,536 --> 00:29:34,772 These are the rules for us to be able to actually associate as a family. 538 00:29:34,774 --> 00:29:37,841 It's, like, I feel like they think I'm not doing anything, 539 00:29:37,843 --> 00:29:41,078 and we are doing everything that the government tells us to do. 540 00:29:41,579 --> 00:29:43,113 Most people would look at that list and go, 541 00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:46,283 "That's absolutely insane to follow all of those things." 542 00:29:46,751 --> 00:29:49,887 Nobody is doing this to this level. 543 00:29:49,889 --> 00:29:53,824 They're doing a lot of this but not to this level, so I'll just have to... 544 00:29:53,826 --> 00:29:56,093 - [Robyn] I've been doing this for seven months. - [Janelle] Yeah. 545 00:29:56,095 --> 00:29:57,795 [Christine] All of it for seven months? 546 00:29:57,797 --> 00:30:01,064 [Janelle] Honestly, it would have been a mental health crisis for me. 547 00:30:01,066 --> 00:30:03,734 I just... I really would have had a problem. 548 00:30:03,736 --> 00:30:08,772 I feel like I'm making these sacrifices so that... To protect them. 549 00:30:08,774 --> 00:30:10,173 Because she's on board with it, 550 00:30:10,175 --> 00:30:14,845 she gets blamed by the other wives for making the rule. [laughs] 551 00:30:14,847 --> 00:30:17,214 Like, "No woman would ever do what Kody wants." 552 00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:19,049 God. Gees. 553 00:30:19,051 --> 00:30:21,285 [Christine] Yeah, I can see why Robyn follows him. She needs to. 554 00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:23,754 He's there every single day, all the time. 555 00:30:23,756 --> 00:30:28,091 But he's not at my house so we don't need to follow them. 556 00:30:28,093 --> 00:30:29,860 You have to understand how I think 557 00:30:29,862 --> 00:30:32,729 when the complaints are coming to me. 558 00:30:32,731 --> 00:30:37,100 I feel like it's an undermining of what I'm trying to do. 559 00:30:37,102 --> 00:30:39,670 I'm not trying to undermine at all. 560 00:30:39,672 --> 00:30:44,675 I think I should be able to question your decisions. 561 00:30:44,677 --> 00:30:50,948 We're in a marriage, and if we can't bring up things that are frustrating 562 00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:54,218 without feeling like we're "undermining", 563 00:30:54,220 --> 00:30:57,921 God, doesn't that sound like a dictatorship, not a marriage? 564 00:30:57,923 --> 00:31:00,657 I have a lot of un-ladylike words going on in my mind, 565 00:31:00,659 --> 00:31:03,460 so I'm really trying to filter it out a little bit. 566 00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:07,564 [Robyn] Here it is. He's written it down. 567 00:31:07,566 --> 00:31:10,968 Just [sighs] wipe off your packages. 568 00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:13,837 Change your clothes when you come in from being out, 569 00:31:13,839 --> 00:31:15,706 you know, in town or something. 570 00:31:15,708 --> 00:31:18,008 Uh, you know, clean your groceries. 571 00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:21,345 You know, whatever it is, so we can see each other. 572 00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:26,483 Can we just, like, can we just get along? 573 00:31:27,852 --> 00:31:29,353 My opinion is that I think some of this 574 00:31:29,355 --> 00:31:32,756 is way over the top, but I'll do it for Christmas. 575 00:31:32,758 --> 00:31:35,759 - Yeah, I mean, it's fine, Kody, I just... I have adult-- - If this became normal, 576 00:31:35,761 --> 00:31:37,027 then we would be able to be a normal family. 577 00:31:37,029 --> 00:31:38,161 I have adult children in my house 578 00:31:38,163 --> 00:31:40,964 that have different things going on, so... 579 00:31:40,966 --> 00:31:42,733 'Kay, Janelle, I'm just trying to say 580 00:31:42,735 --> 00:31:45,869 that I'd like to be able to see you and our kids, 581 00:31:45,871 --> 00:31:47,271 and all of our kids together more. 582 00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:48,772 - [Janelle] Yeah. - That's all I'm saying. 583 00:31:48,774 --> 00:31:54,845 Maybe this mistake of her and I not being romantic enough is a mistake. 584 00:31:54,847 --> 00:31:56,780 Maybe we should be more romantic. 585 00:31:56,782 --> 00:32:01,251 The fact that she's choosing the boys over me, 586 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:05,088 maybe it's just that mothering, nurturing, but these are adult... 587 00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:06,156 They're supposed to be men. 588 00:32:06,158 --> 00:32:08,558 They're adults. 589 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,961 The separation's been a little hard on us, 590 00:32:10,963 --> 00:32:14,865 but, like, I'm more attached than I ever have been. 591 00:32:14,867 --> 00:32:16,700 Like, every year, I get more attached. 592 00:32:16,702 --> 00:32:18,602 I feel like we have a pretty good relationship. 593 00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:20,904 For me, it's really just about the rules, 594 00:32:20,906 --> 00:32:24,574 and having to choose between being with my kids, 595 00:32:24,576 --> 00:32:26,810 and being with the rest of the family, 596 00:32:26,812 --> 00:32:29,079 and I'm sorry, I'm going to choose the kids every time. 597 00:32:29,081 --> 00:32:30,747 No matter how much I love Kody, 598 00:32:30,749 --> 00:32:32,749 I'm gonna always choose my kids. 599 00:32:32,751 --> 00:32:36,920 Aspyn and Mitch have invited me to go there, and I will go there. 600 00:32:36,922 --> 00:32:40,958 Um, and 'cause they've invited Tony and Mykelti and Paedon, and I will go there. 601 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,459 It's not a threat, 602 00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:47,864 it's just we need to have some sort of a sit-down, family Thanksgiving dinner. 603 00:32:47,866 --> 00:32:52,135 Part of me loves, loves the idea 604 00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:54,705 of escaping the whole COVID thing 605 00:32:54,707 --> 00:32:57,341 and just going to Aspyn and Mitch's house. 606 00:32:57,343 --> 00:32:59,276 They're like "Let's go ahead and get together and hang out, 607 00:32:59,278 --> 00:33:00,811 and have a great Thanksgiving," 608 00:33:00,813 --> 00:33:03,080 and it sounds really good. 609 00:33:03,082 --> 00:33:05,882 So you're gonna not... You're not gonna be around... 610 00:33:05,884 --> 00:33:07,050 [Janelle] No, I won't be for Thanksgiving. 611 00:33:07,052 --> 00:33:09,619 [Robyn] And what about you? 612 00:33:09,621 --> 00:33:12,789 The kids are now dying to go see Aspyn and Mitch. 613 00:33:12,791 --> 00:33:16,026 Mykelti, Tony, Paedon, they're all going to get together. 614 00:33:19,163 --> 00:33:20,964 I mean, so I guess to be continued 615 00:33:20,966 --> 00:33:22,899 or are we going to decide on Thanksgiving now? 616 00:33:22,901 --> 00:33:24,668 No, I know I won't be there at Thanksgiving. 617 00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:26,636 But I will give this to everybody 618 00:33:26,638 --> 00:33:28,238 and we will be there at Christmas. 619 00:33:32,877 --> 00:33:34,845 I'm gonna talk to the girls about Thanksgiving. 620 00:33:34,847 --> 00:33:38,181 [Kody] All right. We can... Let us know. 621 00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:40,083 Meri, you haven't said a lot, as usual. 622 00:33:40,085 --> 00:33:42,219 I don't really have much to say. 623 00:33:42,221 --> 00:33:42,986 Well, what do you think about everything? 624 00:33:42,988 --> 00:33:44,554 There's... 625 00:33:46,958 --> 00:33:50,961 A lot of this conversation doesn't really have anything to do with me. 626 00:33:50,963 --> 00:33:52,829 To... 627 00:33:52,831 --> 00:33:55,632 Yeah, but you and I have been sitting here waiting 628 00:33:55,634 --> 00:33:59,136 for us to be able to have you be able to come over. 629 00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:01,805 Oh, I've been doing the things. I've been staying away. 630 00:34:01,807 --> 00:34:02,939 Okay, so... 631 00:34:02,941 --> 00:34:04,841 In the hopes of doing that. 632 00:34:04,843 --> 00:34:07,978 So I just keep doing it, and I'll just keep waiting. 633 00:34:09,781 --> 00:34:13,083 When Meri said that she has been following these rules, 634 00:34:13,085 --> 00:34:16,453 and been in her house alone, 635 00:34:18,823 --> 00:34:20,924 my heart totally went out to her. 636 00:34:20,926 --> 00:34:25,529 I have no idea how she can stay sane. 637 00:34:25,531 --> 00:34:29,466 It must be very quiet. Very lonely. 638 00:34:30,701 --> 00:34:33,537 It's actually been a little bit frustrating to me 639 00:34:33,539 --> 00:34:36,039 because I want to interact with Robyn, 640 00:34:36,041 --> 00:34:38,875 I know that she is quarantining, 641 00:34:38,877 --> 00:34:43,814 and I'm doing the same thing, and we don't get to interact. 642 00:34:43,816 --> 00:34:46,149 It's actually very frustrating to me. 643 00:34:46,784 --> 00:34:47,918 [Kody] Meri, I think you're doing it. 644 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,553 Do you want to come over and see the kids? 645 00:34:49,555 --> 00:34:51,521 I know I've been doing it. I've been telling you guys, 646 00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:54,024 but you've both been like, "It's not time yet." 647 00:34:54,026 --> 00:34:55,058 - No. - I've been... 648 00:34:55,060 --> 00:34:57,894 No, no, no, no. That's not what I said. 649 00:34:57,896 --> 00:35:01,798 I said, "Kody has to make the decision. 650 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,835 I don't know how it's going to blow over with the whole family 651 00:35:04,837 --> 00:35:09,206 - if you and I are interacting, and nobody else is." - [Meri] Right. 652 00:35:09,208 --> 00:35:12,309 [Kody] Well, I guess now you guys can schedule a playdate. 653 00:35:12,743 --> 00:35:13,877 [chuckles] 654 00:35:13,879 --> 00:35:17,681 You've been wanting to play with Auri and Sol, right? 655 00:35:17,683 --> 00:35:21,952 I just don't understand why we didn't have the conversation earlier. 656 00:35:21,954 --> 00:35:24,821 And I know that she talks to Kody about this, 657 00:35:24,823 --> 00:35:26,523 so that's why I don't understand. 658 00:35:26,525 --> 00:35:28,158 Why haven't we done this sooner? 659 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,993 [Christine] If she's following all these rules, 660 00:35:29,995 --> 00:35:32,262 why isn't she hanging out with Robyn? 661 00:35:32,264 --> 00:35:34,865 Why aren't the two of them getting together? 662 00:35:34,867 --> 00:35:36,099 So we could... 663 00:35:36,101 --> 00:35:37,567 Everyone could follow all of these rules... 664 00:35:37,569 --> 00:35:38,902 For Christmas. 665 00:35:38,904 --> 00:35:41,571 For the two weeks before, and then we could hang out Christmas. 666 00:35:41,573 --> 00:35:45,275 I don't think we're having a family Thanksgiving together. 667 00:35:45,277 --> 00:35:49,346 We're going to have a whoever's here Thanksgiving together. 668 00:35:49,348 --> 00:35:50,680 All right, ladies. 669 00:35:50,682 --> 00:35:53,517 Till next time. Thanks for having the meeting. 670 00:35:57,555 --> 00:36:03,593 It's made me feel like the foundation that our family was built on 671 00:36:03,595 --> 00:36:06,263 is, like, crumbling. I don't know. 672 00:36:07,965 --> 00:36:12,035 It's a sad reality for me about where I'm at in some of my marriages. 673 00:36:12,037 --> 00:36:14,304 That kind of lack of loyalty 674 00:36:14,972 --> 00:36:16,273 isn't good for a marriage. 675 00:36:16,275 --> 00:36:18,041 5, 10, 15 years from now, 676 00:36:18,043 --> 00:36:21,378 that's gonna be very hard on us. 677 00:36:22,113 --> 00:36:23,713 [Christine] Home is just hard right now. 678 00:36:23,715 --> 00:36:24,881 It's hard to be home. 679 00:36:24,883 --> 00:36:26,616 Kody and I are in a tough spot, 680 00:36:26,618 --> 00:36:30,053 I don't really want to be around that very often. 681 00:36:30,055 --> 00:36:33,490 It just hurts to be home, and it's easier to leave. 682 00:36:34,825 --> 00:36:38,495 You know what COVID's brought out in our family? 683 00:36:38,497 --> 00:36:42,332 Is how much we want to be a family or not. 684 00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:48,872 There is rumors, and I... That... 685 00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:52,509 That somehow, I'm somehow pulling strings here. 686 00:36:52,511 --> 00:36:55,946 Kody is having issues with some of his other relationships, 687 00:36:55,948 --> 00:36:59,482 and it is making our relationship really, really hard. 688 00:37:07,925 --> 00:37:10,560 Meri. You're okay, all right? 689 00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:11,962 We are. 690 00:37:13,931 --> 00:37:14,998 All right? 691 00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:17,400 'Kay. 692 00:37:22,673 --> 00:37:28,311 I kind of forget myself, I forgot the rules, and I just went in for a hug. 693 00:37:28,313 --> 00:37:30,914 [laughs] It was like, "Oops, we're not supposed to hug." 694 00:37:30,916 --> 00:37:32,048 I'll be all right. 695 00:37:32,050 --> 00:37:33,950 Just put it in God's hands and know 696 00:37:33,952 --> 00:37:37,053 that this relationship is more important. 697 00:37:37,822 --> 00:37:40,123 I don't know why we've waited so damn long. 698 00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:42,792 Why did we have to have this conversation? 699 00:37:42,794 --> 00:37:45,128 [Robyn] I didn't want everybody getting mad. 700 00:37:46,797 --> 00:37:48,999 Please stop acting like it was my choice. 701 00:37:49,001 --> 00:37:51,301 I wasn't, and I wasn't pointing my finger at you, 702 00:37:51,303 --> 00:37:54,938 - Robyn, when I said that. - Don't act like I was trying to do this, 'cause I wasn't. 703 00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:59,109 - I was just totally joking with you, because I'm like... - I know, but it's so real. 704 00:37:59,111 --> 00:38:00,677 It was, "This is funny, 705 00:38:00,679 --> 00:38:03,079 because Kody's giving you a list of rules 706 00:38:03,081 --> 00:38:04,714 that you guys already abide by." 707 00:38:04,716 --> 00:38:06,082 I thought that was silly. 708 00:38:06,084 --> 00:38:08,918 It took me a minute to understand you were joking. 709 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,120 - [Meri sighs] - It did. 710 00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:11,554 Okay? 711 00:38:12,590 --> 00:38:15,525 There is rumors, and I... That... 712 00:38:15,527 --> 00:38:18,461 That somehow... I'm somehow pulling strings here, 713 00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:20,897 and that's the most hilarious thing in the world, 714 00:38:20,899 --> 00:38:25,302 'cause have you ever known Kody to let a wife sit and pull strings, 715 00:38:25,304 --> 00:38:27,070 to the point, like, this kind of craziness? 716 00:38:27,072 --> 00:38:29,939 No. Kody is his own man. 717 00:38:29,941 --> 00:38:33,576 I couldn't have pulled this off, the strictness. 718 00:38:35,746 --> 00:38:37,514 [voice breaking] And all I wanted was you to be able 719 00:38:37,516 --> 00:38:40,016 to come over and be around the kids. 720 00:38:40,018 --> 00:38:41,885 I just didn't want everybody upset 721 00:38:41,887 --> 00:38:45,522 if we were doing something against, like, the set rules or whatever. 722 00:38:45,524 --> 00:38:48,992 Well, I still just don't understand why, like, we had... 723 00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:50,760 - [Robyn] Because. Because... - Okay. It's fine, it's fine. 724 00:38:50,762 --> 00:38:51,861 [Robyn] Meri. 725 00:38:51,863 --> 00:38:54,764 Because everybody was following these rules, 726 00:38:54,766 --> 00:38:56,566 and if you and I weren't following them 727 00:38:56,568 --> 00:38:58,935 as far as interaction with each other, 728 00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:02,972 then people would feel like it was unfair or we weren't being honest. 729 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:04,841 That's why. 730 00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:07,277 So, Kody was saying to me, "I think you can... 731 00:39:07,279 --> 00:39:10,080 You and Meri are being really careful. 732 00:39:10,082 --> 00:39:12,716 You guys could get together." 733 00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:16,786 And I'm like, "Kody, that's a change in protocol, 734 00:39:16,788 --> 00:39:18,221 and if you're gonna change protocol, 735 00:39:18,223 --> 00:39:20,490 then you need to tell everybody." 736 00:39:21,092 --> 00:39:23,159 And he was like, "Well, no, it's fine. 737 00:39:23,161 --> 00:39:27,063 I said it's okay, you guys are, um... 738 00:39:28,766 --> 00:39:31,568 You two are being really careful, you guys can see each other." 739 00:39:31,570 --> 00:39:33,737 And I'm like, "Well, that's not fair." 740 00:39:33,739 --> 00:39:36,172 My kids ask about you all the time, so just... 741 00:39:37,141 --> 00:39:39,242 I'm glad you have your kids and Kody. 742 00:39:39,244 --> 00:39:40,977 [Robyn] I know. 743 00:39:43,848 --> 00:39:45,615 I just didn't know what to do, he's... 744 00:39:45,617 --> 00:39:48,151 He's so strict, there's so many rules. 745 00:39:48,153 --> 00:39:50,920 This is the first time he's actually, like, talking about it, 746 00:39:50,922 --> 00:39:52,989 and going, "Okay, maybe this can happen." 747 00:39:52,991 --> 00:39:57,660 And having everybody see what it is that they can do to be together. 748 00:39:57,662 --> 00:40:02,031 Now we can 'cause I know you're following these rules, too. 749 00:40:02,033 --> 00:40:05,535 Yeah, I'm glad that Robyn came back and we talked about 750 00:40:05,537 --> 00:40:08,037 the stuff a little bit, you know. 751 00:40:08,039 --> 00:40:10,006 And I'm glad that she's okay with me. 752 00:40:10,008 --> 00:40:12,375 [chuckles] 753 00:40:12,377 --> 00:40:14,310 'Cause I don't like it when she's not. 754 00:40:14,312 --> 00:40:15,078 'Kay. 755 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:16,346 All right. 756 00:40:16,348 --> 00:40:17,714 - Have a good rest of your day. - Love you. 757 00:40:17,716 --> 00:40:20,016 - Love you. - [Meri] Love you. 758 00:40:20,018 --> 00:40:25,221 [Robyn] I love Meri, and I hate that she is alone. 759 00:40:25,223 --> 00:40:27,357 I want her to be happy. 760 00:40:28,292 --> 00:40:29,726 You know? 761 00:40:29,728 --> 00:40:32,562 If I could wave a magic wand that was, 762 00:40:32,564 --> 00:40:35,732 you know, that I had say over what was going on, 763 00:40:35,734 --> 00:40:39,135 I would make it so that Meri was happy. 764 00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:41,571 That her and Kody could figure their stuff out. 765 00:40:43,174 --> 00:40:45,175 But I can't. 766 00:40:46,977 --> 00:40:49,179 I cannot express... 767 00:40:51,816 --> 00:40:56,419 enough how hard it is to... 768 00:40:58,889 --> 00:41:04,027 be in a plural family where my husband 769 00:41:04,029 --> 00:41:09,032 and his wife, his other wife, is having a problem... 770 00:41:09,867 --> 00:41:14,103 and it completely affects my life, but I have... 771 00:41:14,105 --> 00:41:17,974 I'm really supposed to stay out of it, and I have no say. 772 00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:22,579 The lines are hard between our different marriages, 773 00:41:22,581 --> 00:41:24,781 because it's like, 'kay, you gotta respect 774 00:41:24,783 --> 00:41:27,984 that she's got her own relationship with Kody, 775 00:41:27,986 --> 00:41:32,522 but at the same time, their relationship affects yours. 776 00:41:32,524 --> 00:41:34,691 And right now, I am living right through that, 777 00:41:34,693 --> 00:41:38,828 because Kody is having issues with some of his other relationships, 778 00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:42,365 and it is making our relationship really, really hard. 779 00:41:44,935 --> 00:41:46,068 [Kody reading] 780 00:41:47,471 --> 00:41:50,840 Dad wants to play stupid games, we can play along. 781 00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:53,243 It's been eight months since I've been able to hang out with my dad, 782 00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:54,544 of course I'm gonna rebel a little. 783 00:41:54,546 --> 00:41:56,279 I'm trying here. 784 00:41:56,281 --> 00:42:00,016 Kody came and stayed for, like, five or six days, and I'm kinda like, 785 00:42:00,084 --> 00:42:01,918 "Wow. That's a lot of work." 786 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,987 For 10 years, I've had Kody at my house 787 00:42:03,989 --> 00:42:05,054 once or twice a week. 788 00:42:05,056 --> 00:42:07,657 Lately, it's been constantly. 789 00:42:07,659 --> 00:42:09,225 You know, I'm sure that every plural wife 790 00:42:09,227 --> 00:42:11,194 is like "Whoo, that's the way you want it!" 791 00:42:11,196 --> 00:42:12,562 And I'm like... [winces] 792 00:42:12,564 --> 00:42:13,763 So, you're going to Utah? 793 00:42:13,765 --> 00:42:16,432 Janelle is indicating by her actions 794 00:42:16,434 --> 00:42:19,636 that she would rather have the boys around than me. 795 00:42:19,638 --> 00:42:22,672 You don't think I'm aware? You don't think I'm being careful? 796 00:42:22,674 --> 00:42:24,541 I think you understand what I'm talking about 797 00:42:24,543 --> 00:42:26,376 and I want you to just respect that. 798 00:42:26,378 --> 00:42:28,044 [Janelle] Yeah, [bleep] off.