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[Kody] Previously on
Sister Wives...
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Tell me more, Christine,
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about this feeling,
about moving to Utah.
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No, this is not
a safe conversation anymore.
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I'm sorry. It's just not...
I'm not going to talk to you.
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It feels like
a bit of a crossroads.
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I don't know what to do.
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You can go, be in Utah,
do your thing. I don't care.
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[Kody] I've had three of these
four women threaten to leave me
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for a significant
part of the marriages.
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It's not a new thing
to be threatened to be left.
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[Kody] The lot
that would have the pond
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would most likely be my lot.
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You guys all good
with that so far?
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[Meri] I guess, it really depends
on where everybody wants to be.
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I was loving the idea
of a house right there,
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but it sounds like
that's not happening anymore.
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So apparently,
there is no me in polygamy.
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It's the only configuration
I can manage to go.
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- This works.
- I think it's stupid.
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Kody talking about
having his own house.
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I'm like, what a waste of money.
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It is late summer
and because of COVID,
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our children have been
out of school
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for over five months.
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We're supposed to be locked down
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sort of quarantining
that kind of thing.
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But I've got three wives,
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they're going to be out of town
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all the same time
doing other things.
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Life has to go on.
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But it's separated all of us
from each other
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as we sort of take different
approaches to COVID-19
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and how to behave regarding it.
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We're just
not in the same place anymore.
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We are leaving today
to go to New Jersey.
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For Ysabel's scoliosis surgery.
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We found out she had scoliosis
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when she was in
middle school, like 13.
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She's 17 now,
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and we've just been
fighting it for years.
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We put her doing exercises
and all this stuff.
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She was in the brace,
the daytime brace,
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the nighttime brace.
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We've tried everything.
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Izzy?
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You ready to go, baby?
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All right.
So we're ready to go.
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We're gonna start loading up
stuff into the car.
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When we found Ysabel
had scoliosis,
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there was a 26-degree curve
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and now it's way above
a 50-degree curve
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and at the 50 degrees
is where they say,
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okay, it's time for you
to get the surgery.
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She's been in awful pain
for nine months.
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Finally, here we are. We're
going to get the surgery,
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and we're super excited.
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We're gonna do a visual of how we
are gonna be safe at the airport today.
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Yes, there we go.
That's what we're doing today.
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We haven't been able to see
each other a lot at all
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during this pandemic.
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Of course, I wouldn't want to
quarantine from Kody that long.
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But you know, if I had to,
I would.
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[Christine] All right, we're
ready to go. Let's load up the car.
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Heck yeah.
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I'm not traveling
with Christine and Ysabel
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on the way to Ysabel's surgery.
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I'm not going to the surgery.
I think it's very risky.
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I also feel like
a total hypocrite
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if I'm not keeping the rules
that I'm asking and begging,
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literally begging everybody
to keep.
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[Ysabel] I'm a little nervous for
the surgery in a couple of days.
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Um, we'll go there
and then after two weeks
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I'll get the surgery.
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But I am really nervous
for the surgery.
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[Christine] So, Izzy,
you excited for this?
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Uh, yeah, I'm really excited.
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I'm a little bit stressed out
because this morning was so,
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like stressful, because I had
classes that I had to attend.
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I mean honestly, it's Ysabel
that I care about more.
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I think Ysabel, is really
going to have a hard time
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being without Kody
because she really,
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really relies on him
when she's in pain.
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[Christine] All right,
let's go, lovelies.
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I think his priorities
are a little screwed up.
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But,
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and like I don't really like,
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like disrespect him,
because he is my dad.
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And I understand, I do. I do
understand why he's doing it.
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It's just really frustrating
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and really, really hard.
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You can't do that, Axel.
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[Janelle] So while Christine, was going
to be in New Jersey for Ysabel surgery,
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I went to help Maddie
with her daughter, Evie K,
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who was having surgery as well.
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How is Evie K?
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Evie was born with a
collection of conditions,
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they call FATCO.
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She's just missing a few bones.
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She has some fingers missing
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and one of her legs
is considerably shorter.
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All right.
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All right, you ready?
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One,
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two, three.
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This is your granddaughter.
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[Kody] Aw, look at that
wide-eyed little baby.
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Evie K!
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[Janelle] Maddie and Caleb
have been talking a lot
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to the pediatricians
and the orthopedic surgeons
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and all the people who work
with this kind of thing.
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They possibly have a choice.
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In a lot of cases, they can
lengthen the bone that's there.
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But, it's a lot of surgeries
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or they amputate and get ready
for a prosthetic.
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So what it was gonna mean though
was surgeries like every eight months
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and then at the end,
there was no guarantee
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that she'd even
really be able to walk on it.
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After long deliberation,
Maddie and Caleb decided
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that they were going to opt
for the amputation.
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Yeah, so the surgery
is actually tomorrow.
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I'm not, I'm not particularly worried
about it, unless I really think about it.
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So, I'm just
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staying positive about it.
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[Meri] Hey, girls,
does this not flip around?
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Oh, my gosh, I don't know
how to use it.
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Here I am.
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So, this is kind
of a weird summer,
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in the middle
of this COVID pandemic.
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I personally have been,
trying to just do like
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more of a quarantine
and not going anywhere.
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You know Kody and I are
at this place where,
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like, when we talk
it's cordial, it's fine.
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I mean, I'd be more comfortable
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if I saw him more often,
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we talked more often, but
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you know, it is what it is.
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Okay. I am super, super,
super excited.
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So today, I am at
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Lizzie's Heritage Inn,
my bed and breakfast.
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Today is the 150 year
anniversary of the B&B.
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Say hello.
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I love you.
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Anyway, we're going to do something
every month or every other month
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just to celebrate 150 years
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because this house has
been around for 150 years now.
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Well, COVID hit, so we haven't
been able to do that.
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You know, we've totally
had to switch it up
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and make it all virtual,
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because people can't come.
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Here I come.
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I hope you're camera ready.
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Audrey!
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She's my social media
extraordinaire person.
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- Okay.
- [Audrey] Come here, Mom.
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I have something really exciting
to announce today, you guys.
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Guess what today is, Audrey?
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It's our, one year
to the wedding day...
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- anniversary.
- [Meri whooping]
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Yeah, can you call it
a one-year pre-versary?
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A pre-versary!
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[Meri] It's a pre-versary.
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Mariah and Audrey met
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while they were in college, and
they've actually been engaged
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for a couple of years now,
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Mariah and Audrey are getting
married in one year from today.
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[all cheering]
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Maybe we should plan
a little bit.
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[Meri] Maybe go ahead
and let me know when you do
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because I'm totally good.
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I want to be involved.
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Let's talk about it.
I don't want to be pushy.
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But if this is, you know,
happening in a year,
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we should at least kind of
start planning and thinking, but
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they don't even know
what they're doing yet.
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So we can't really even plan.
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[Audrey] Yay!
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Perfect.
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-We're good -[Audrey]
Love it, love it, love it.
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Teamwork to make the dream work.
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So one of the things that we're
doing today is a bake along.
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So Audrey and Mariah
posted online,
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our banana bread recipe
that we're gonna do.
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Mariah and I will go live
on social media
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as we're making it.
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Okay, so we are doing
our bake along.
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This is Mariah's
brilliant idea to do
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for this 150-year event.
So thank you.
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We decided to do our banana
bread recipe.
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It is family famous.
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But maybe, if you guys
are baking along...
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It will be famous
in your family as well.
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Mariah and I have
really come to a good place.
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Like our relationship
is really good.
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You know, there was tension
for a while.
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Okay, Mom,
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I'm gay.
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You know, I think there was
probably multiple things that,
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contributed to the tension.
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There were times
that I was angry at you, Kody.
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Not gonna lie.
I'm, I was angry at you.
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I had some stress and trauma
going on in my life.
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She was figuring
some things out for herself
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and it really just caused
a conflict.
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To be honest with you
this is a little bit,
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not quite ripe enough,
if you ask me.
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- I like them a little bit more...
- As brown as possible.
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I like, yeah, but not black.
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I like them, like this.
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Color of brown
more all over. Okay?
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My personality is black
and white, hot or cold.
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There's no in the middle.
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I'm like, you don't want to
have a relationship with me
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fine,
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but like I remember thinking,
you know what,
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that's obviously not the way
to handle a relationship.
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So two cups of flour,
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one,
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teaspoon of baking soda,
half teaspoon salt.
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This is an easy recipe, y'all.
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[Meri] You know, something that
I've really been trying to work on
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is how I interact and respond
to other people.
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That's what it looks like.
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You know, making sure
the other person
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feels heard and validated.
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Oh, and another thing
that I learned
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when I was growing up is
clean as you go, when you cook.
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Thanks, Mom.
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You're welcome.
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I've got a lot of relationships
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that I would like to improve,
and I know that it really takes
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honesty and openness to do that.
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We say our goodbyes for the day,
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but thank you
for hanging out with us.
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I hope you've had
a fabulous Saturday.
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You know, I've got
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a little conversation that
I'd like to have with Janelle,
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because you know, I keep hearing
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comments and ideas
and thoughts about,
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you know, an issue that I just
feel like I need to bring up to her.
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You know, hopefully, this
technique of just listening
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can help
other relationships, as well.
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[Caleb] Janelle, come sit
here with me.
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Great job!
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[Janelle] Evie's surgery
was three days ago.
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Nothing was out of order,
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00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:49,140
like it was just all went according
to the way it was supposed to.
248
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,209
And they came home
really quickly
249
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,244
compared to what we thought
was gonna happen.
250
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,847
Evie is not 100%.
251
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:58,883
I mean
she's not super happy yet,
252
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:02,887
but she's not this miserable
crying, poor little baby.
253
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,589
[Caleb] She's one year old.
254
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,725
[Janelle] Now she's, now she's
starting now, she's like wait,
255
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,359
I can stick my thumb in there?
256
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:11,162
[Janelle] Her birthday was her
day of surgery, her actual birthday.
257
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:14,132
So we're going to just celebrate
her one year about birthday,
258
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,166
a little late.
259
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,968
Here you go, Ms. Evie.
260
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,203
[man] Okay,
was that good, buddy?
261
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,572
[Janelle] Cut her through the
frosting into the cake maybe.
262
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:24,309
So Evie had surgery
263
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,077
a little bit ago, huh?
264
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,947
She is getting
her cast off soon.
265
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:33,551
She had what's called
a void amputation.
266
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,121
So they cut off from here
267
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,089
basically,
268
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:43,128
just so that the heel
will fit in a prosthetic,
269
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:46,998
and they did that because Evie's
270
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,601
left leg is shorter
than her right leg.
271
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:52,070
[man] And lick the frosting!
272
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:55,273
Welcome to our family.
273
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,177
[Janelle] Evie is already
moving around
274
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,980
and I know that with
prosthetics and stuff,
275
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,882
her life's gonna,
not be any different.
276
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:07,152
She's not going to ever know,
anything different.
277
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:10,155
She's going to grow up
and be able to run and play
278
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,923
and jump and everything.
279
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:14,826
She just had
part of her foot amputated
280
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:18,196
and she's already like,
okay, nothing's gonna stop me.
281
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,801
[Meri] I don't know
282
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:26,905
how much to bring up from
the past and work through.
283
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,707
And I've heard like
you and Kody say things that
284
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:33,211
basically, tell me
there's still issues with me.
285
00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:49,160
You know, really truly Meri
and I, for decades struggled,
286
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,863
to understand each other
to see eye to eye.
287
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:54,632
We made it work because
we had to raise the kids.
288
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,702
So, we're gonna meet
and probably talk about stuff
289
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:58,803
because that's what we do.
290
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:01,439
It's important, that we keep
using the opportunities,
291
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:05,143
that present themselves to
kind of talk about our relationship.
292
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:09,147
[Meri] Going into this
conversation with Janelle,
293
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,115
I'm trying to be
really calm about it.
294
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:13,218
I don't know how it's gonna go.
295
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,153
I'm hoping that she and I
can go into this
296
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:18,756
both being open and kind
and honest.
297
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,892
You know, maybe
not just the topic,
298
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:23,962
but just the fact that she
and I can have a conversation
299
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,363
and work through some issues
300
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:29,634
that I can tell
are still lingering.
301
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:32,237
I was thinking about it
on the way out here today.
302
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,606
I think it's been almost a year,
303
00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:37,141
since we talked...
304
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,978
We went to dinner that one time,
305
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,180
and you're like,
"What are we all here for?"
306
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:42,914
Oh, yeah.
307
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,315
- "What are we doing?"
- Yeah.
308
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:46,684
"Do we want to work
on our family?"
309
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:49,387
- And then COVID hit.
- Like, what the hell?
310
00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:54,259
So, you know, I guess once
we got moved to Flagstaff
311
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,261
and things calmed down,
I had a lot of
312
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:59,097
time to think and I realized,
313
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:03,968
that my future is the
five adults in our family.
314
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,003
Kids are gonna grow up
and move away.
315
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,105
But this is my community.
316
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,040
And I've been really,
truly waiting for inspiration.
317
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,341
But maybe, the next question is,
318
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:13,311
do you think our family feels
like it used to?
319
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,280
Like, back when we were
all together and you know,
320
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,614
like when you first
met us, Robyn,
321
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,617
does it feel like that
in our family now?
322
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:22,921
Since you've been to
Flagstaff, it's been different.
323
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,889
Because we don't need
each other as much.
324
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:25,990
We've lost something,
325
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:28,760
and I don't know
what the solution is.
326
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,028
Of course, I'm an advocate
of the one home,
327
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,931
but I'm not saying
that is the answer here.
328
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:35,033
The COVID separation
has been hard on us.
329
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,602
I think it's kind of set us
backwards a little bit.
330
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,939
So, I'm still very much
about trying to
331
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,007
make this a unit
of the five adults.
332
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:45,410
The five parents stronger.
333
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,979
I've been kind of
feeling like...
334
00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:52,350
because of that
335
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:55,119
you are open to conversation.
336
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,255
Yes, I am.
337
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,390
One of the things that
338
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:04,929
like I know in my
conversations with Kody,
339
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,932
on and off through the years is
340
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,834
leave the past in the past.
341
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:13,037
- Mmm-hmm.
- Let's work on from here to the future.
342
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:16,140
But if the conversation
keeps coming up,
343
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,879
and I keep hearing about it,
this is, this is how I feel.
344
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:23,348
And I could totally be wrong.
345
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,084
- I don't even know.
- I mean, are you hearing conversation
346
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,585
that I've said to somebody else?
347
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:31,856
So I understand that
348
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:34,892
Janelle talked to Christine
and Kody,
349
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:37,095
about not wanting me to have
350
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,263
the piece of property
by the pond.
351
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:43,568
You know, and I've also heard
Kody say, you know, I've got
352
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:48,172
wives who really don't want
Meri to be...
353
00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:50,408
by the pond.
354
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,010
I don't know
355
00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:54,012
how much
356
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:57,382
to bring up from the past
and work through.
357
00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,083
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
358
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:02,620
And I've heard like you
and Kody say things that
359
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:05,957
basically, tell me there's
still issues with me.
360
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:10,461
Yes. So, I mean, sometimes
361
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,965
because we are a family
362
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:16,134
and there's not a whole
lot of secrets in a family,
363
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:19,337
conversations get spilled,
quote unquote.
364
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:23,775
Uh, Kody told me where you
guys were all going to be
365
00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,910
and I was going
to be back there.
366
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:26,811
Oh, he told me
you didn't want that.
367
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,112
[Kody] You said,
you didn't like it. So--
368
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:30,782
- Quit making up crap of what I say.
- You did.
369
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,183
[Kody] You said that?
370
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,986
I think Meri's referencing when
we were all out on the property
371
00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:37,755
talking about
where to put houses.
372
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:40,124
You told me that you
guys came out here
373
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:42,326
and she said
she didn't want that spot.
374
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:45,263
[Janelle] One thing I will say,
and I told Christine this up earlier.
375
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,264
Yeah.
376
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,967
I think whoever lives there
377
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:52,970
has got to be totally cool
with easy access to the pond,
378
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,439
no control of the pond.
379
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:55,840
Yeah, that's what Kody
was saying too.
380
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,742
And I know that when we lived
in the Lehi house,
381
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,077
she didn't want the kids
going through her house
382
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,645
because it was a lot of traffic.
383
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:03,948
I expressed that I didn't want
anybody living near the pond
384
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:07,218
because I felt like that should
be accessible to everybody.
385
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,887
And I really did have a
concern specifically about Meri,
386
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,322
because of some stuff
that had happened
387
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:12,990
in the past.
388
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,393
I say something to Kody,
389
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:19,297
he's not being careful,
we aggravate the situation
390
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:23,401
because we are
having conversations with
391
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:27,338
a confidant or something
and those things get slipped.
392
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:30,908
[Kody] The real problem isn't
the gossip between all of us.
393
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,376
The real problem is,
394
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:35,880
plural marriage requires
that you behave like a saint.
395
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,982
If you don't you have problems.
396
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:40,084
We haven't been behaving
like saints,
397
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,587
so we have problems.
398
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,989
And half of it's about
the communication.
399
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:46,223
I don't...
400
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:49,494
I don't know if there's
issues per se, or it's just
401
00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:51,262
concerns.
402
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,131
So I'll just say this one,
403
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:56,367
I have heard you say
404
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,703
quite often about the pond
405
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,471
and not wanting anybody by it.
406
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,508
And then I've also heard you
talk about the house in Lehi,
407
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,511
and so it makes me feel
like there's still
408
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:08,212
some,
409
00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:10,982
something.
410
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:12,750
Well, I think I know
what you're referencing
411
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,819
and I really did have a concern,
412
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:18,623
um, about anybody,
especially you but anybody
413
00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:21,859
building by the pond, because
414
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,128
- you know, if I want to be out there at 5:00 a.m...
- Mmm-hmm.
415
00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:25,963
I don't want
anyone to be like,
416
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,598
you can't be out there
at 5:00 a.m.
417
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,300
or if someone wants
to be out there at 10:00 p.m.
418
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,335
I'm not gonna be like you
can't be out there at 10:00 p.m.
419
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,270
- You know what I mean?
- Right.
420
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:33,905
So I had some real concerns.
421
00:19:33,907 --> 00:19:36,407
And then for a while you were
talking about being by the pond
422
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:39,243
and possibly having a deck
which would be awesome.
423
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,412
But I worry because in Lehi,
424
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,614
you didn't want people
walking through.
425
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,017
So Christine and I couldn't
walk through your house
426
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:48,119
to get to each other's houses.
427
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:50,021
Not on a regular basis. Yeah.
428
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,622
Well, the kids
kind of took it as,
429
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,958
we always
sort of took it as always.
430
00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:57,361
[Janelle] So in Lehi,
we had this situation
431
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,230
where Christine was downstairs,
432
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,265
and Meri was upstairs
433
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,935
and there was like
the internal staircase.
434
00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:06,037
And then on the other side,
it was me
435
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,940
and I had upstairs
and downstairs,
436
00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:12,109
so it was kind of like
all one big house connected.
437
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,178
So the only way I could get
to Christine's house,
438
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,214
inside the house
439
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:19,450
would be to go through
Meri's upstairs apartment.
440
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,285
She didn't want us to do that.
441
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:24,622
So Christine and I had to go out the
back door and in the other back door,
442
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,490
we had to always be
443
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:28,693
going outside
to each other's houses.
444
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:30,361
I slipped on those damn stairs
445
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:33,297
so many times outside
Christine's door, it was cold,
446
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:34,832
it was wet.
447
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,901
I worked full time,
448
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:40,071
there was a time
that I worked two jobs.
449
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:43,741
I just felt like that,
450
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:47,245
it wasn't inappropriate for me
to have the respect
451
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,714
of my personal space
within my home
452
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,249
when I wasn't even there,
453
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:55,219
I guess to me, the outside
is like so different, than my...
454
00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:56,687
Oh, okay.
455
00:20:56,689 --> 00:21:00,224
- My personal space and like when I'm gone...
- Okay.
456
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:03,327
and I'm like okay, so people
are going through my house
457
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:04,729
and what's happening and,
458
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:06,764
-you know, I mean,
-I don't know,
459
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,667
you know, Meri, I don't know. Like it
was a long time ago, the kids were little.
460
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,302
You know, and I appreciate
understanding that
461
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:13,304
it might have been a privacy
thing or it might have been,
462
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,473
but it always felt
sort of like a control thing,
463
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:18,042
- to me. Yeah.
- Really?
464
00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:22,980
I just struggled with my
living room, my living space,
465
00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:24,982
being a hallway.
466
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:27,084
I just worried that,
467
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:30,988
you'd get angry at one time,
like we all do.
468
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,990
And instead of like
slamming the doors
469
00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:35,159
when we all lived in one house,
you just slammed the doors
470
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:36,394
and stuff 'cause you were angry.
471
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:37,895
You'd somehow,
472
00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,196
- like...
- Wow, Janelle.
473
00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:41,966
Like, no, but these
were the things that were,
474
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,235
you know, like I'm thinking,
well you might just be like,
475
00:21:44,237 --> 00:21:48,105
well, nobody can come over and use
my part of the pond or something, like...
476
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:49,974
These were the things
I was afraid of.
477
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,243
[sighs wearily]
478
00:21:55,947 --> 00:22:01,786
I don't know. I guess, I just
didn't think that this was gonna be
479
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:08,893
starting to point fingers at
what-somebody's-done-wrong kind of a conversation.
480
00:22:08,895 --> 00:22:12,196
Yeah, I have slammed doors
and I've been mad before.
481
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:16,033
And I've always worried about
and it could be any of us.
482
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:18,002
Honestly, that's why
I didn't want anybody
483
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,503
because you get sort of,
484
00:22:20,238 --> 00:22:22,807
like, you get specific
about your area
485
00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:25,076
and then it creates barriers
486
00:22:25,078 --> 00:22:28,045
and problems for the family,
as a whole.
487
00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:31,749
They're not feeling
the sister-wife relationship,
488
00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:33,751
and for years
489
00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:36,454
actually, for decades,
for decades,
490
00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:40,624
I have been trying
to get them all to function
491
00:22:40,626 --> 00:22:43,127
in a sense, as my family
492
00:22:43,962 --> 00:22:47,264
and I have discovered
that my wives really
493
00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:51,335
don't want that relationship
with each other.
494
00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:52,937
So what do we,
495
00:22:53,939 --> 00:22:56,407
like honestly,
like for real legit,
496
00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:59,243
I don't know, like what
we'd do about that now
497
00:22:59,245 --> 00:23:00,978
because there is the history.
498
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:02,113
Yeah.
499
00:23:02,115 --> 00:23:04,181
Um, I have my reasons which...
500
00:23:04,983 --> 00:23:08,085
we obviously have never
talked about.
501
00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:11,155
The stairs were basically right
across the hall from my bedroom
502
00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:13,090
and I'm like if I'm in bed
503
00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:15,326
and maybe Kody's there with me,
504
00:23:15,328 --> 00:23:18,796
it's just weird to have a wife
walk through my house.
505
00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:20,731
Sorry, you know what I mean?
506
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:23,567
I would never want
to come across as
507
00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:27,204
like just trying
to justify my position,
508
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:30,508
but at the same time wanting
to hear my position, heard.
509
00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:32,610
You know, I think
for us back then it was just
510
00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:34,445
whatever opinion
was the loudest,
511
00:23:34,447 --> 00:23:36,080
of I don't really want anybody
512
00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:37,448
to come through my house
all the time,
513
00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:39,517
which I get, like I get that.
514
00:23:40,886 --> 00:23:44,588
So, it would have been nice if we
could have been logical at that point.
515
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:47,625
And making a decision that
would have incorporated everything,
516
00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:49,560
the family and the individual.
517
00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:52,863
For me, the only time it really
came up was with the pond.
518
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:57,067
Like, and worrying about
access for the whole family.
519
00:23:57,069 --> 00:23:59,203
And I think, we should write
legal contracts
520
00:23:59,205 --> 00:24:01,505
because you know what,
there's no guarantees.
521
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:07,211
- Okay, I hear you.
- Yeah.
522
00:24:07,213 --> 00:24:09,313
Right now, we would all agree
523
00:24:09,315 --> 00:24:11,615
to the access
and it wouldn't be a problem.
524
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:14,752
But what happens
if somebody dies
525
00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:17,822
or somebody gets disgruntled
and moves away.
526
00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:20,157
It would be good
to have it in writing
527
00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:23,027
that there was always access
to the pond or whatever.
528
00:24:23,029 --> 00:24:25,830
The rules are gonna be
whatever we decide, the rules are.
529
00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:27,932
Like I feel bad in a way
530
00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:31,135
because I was talking sort
of behind your back with this
531
00:24:31,137 --> 00:24:33,938
and there was leakage
and there was spillover,
532
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,640
but by the time
it came up with the pond
533
00:24:36,642 --> 00:24:38,409
it was such ancient history.
I was like,
534
00:24:40,912 --> 00:24:41,912
I guess I feel different.
535
00:24:41,914 --> 00:24:44,415
I don't, I guess
I don't feel like that...
536
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:49,753
I don't know. There's a lot
that I feel different about
537
00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:51,121
but I definitely
don't want to be like,
538
00:24:51,123 --> 00:24:52,957
well, you can say your piece,
539
00:24:52,959 --> 00:24:56,026
but so I'm gonna like
go back at you.
540
00:24:56,028 --> 00:24:57,761
I don't, I'm not gonna do that.
541
00:24:57,763 --> 00:25:00,264
I want to, like be in a place
where I'm like hearing
542
00:25:00,266 --> 00:25:03,200
-what you're saying,
-And you want,
543
00:25:03,202 --> 00:25:07,071
you have something, you want to
say about the original Lehi situation
544
00:25:07,073 --> 00:25:08,372
or...
545
00:25:09,574 --> 00:25:13,310
I, to be honest with you,
I'm feeling a wall, right now.
546
00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:29,193
I, to be honest with you,
I'm feeling a wall, right now.
547
00:25:29,195 --> 00:25:32,329
So let's just sit for a minute because I
don't want that, you don't need that wall.
548
00:25:36,067 --> 00:25:38,435
Like, I just feel like
there's the,
549
00:25:39,404 --> 00:25:41,338
coming at me
of what I did wrong.
550
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,174
I put a guard around myself
551
00:25:45,343 --> 00:25:46,777
like,
552
00:25:46,779 --> 00:25:48,812
this is just kind of what I do
553
00:25:48,814 --> 00:25:52,049
and this is something that
I'm really trying not to do
554
00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:54,952
and I get very defensive
555
00:25:54,954 --> 00:25:57,421
because I don't want to be hurt.
556
00:25:58,690 --> 00:26:01,959
I kind of tend to always feel
like I've done something wrong
557
00:26:03,028 --> 00:26:06,196
and so with this conversation
about the pond,
558
00:26:06,198 --> 00:26:08,265
you know, it's, it's like
559
00:26:09,267 --> 00:26:11,602
all these things
coming up again and I don't...
560
00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:20,511
I don't want to feel it, and I want
to feel like that we're passed that.
561
00:26:22,213 --> 00:26:23,914
No, I just was expressing
where I felt.
562
00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:25,349
I know and I get that.
563
00:26:25,351 --> 00:26:28,586
I think, it's just a natural
defensiveness that
564
00:26:28,588 --> 00:26:30,087
I feel or,
565
00:26:31,790 --> 00:26:34,325
I think all humans do
at some point.
566
00:26:34,327 --> 00:26:37,261
So my problem was I never
wanted to rock the boat and you...
567
00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:39,263
I think maybe you always
568
00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:41,532
wanted to take things
really to heart.
569
00:26:42,701 --> 00:26:45,069
Yeah, I never knew
where you stood.
570
00:26:45,071 --> 00:26:48,973
Like when you came into
the picture, I was like,
571
00:26:50,208 --> 00:26:52,343
I thought that it would be
something completely different.
572
00:26:52,345 --> 00:26:55,479
I had hoped that it would be
something completely different
573
00:26:56,147 --> 00:26:58,148
just based on the relationships
574
00:26:58,150 --> 00:27:00,317
that I had had
with people prior.
575
00:27:00,319 --> 00:27:01,952
Um, you know, with Kody
576
00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:03,854
and other people and it was
577
00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:05,589
so not, until like,
578
00:27:05,591 --> 00:27:08,258
for me, I took that as like...
579
00:27:10,328 --> 00:27:11,795
complete rejection.
580
00:27:11,797 --> 00:27:14,798
- Hmm, see, and I felt the same from you.
- Yeah.
581
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:18,002
You know when Janelle,
when Janelle came in
582
00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:22,072
to the picture, I mean
Janelle was in my picture
583
00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:23,941
before I even knew Kody.
584
00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:26,377
But when you know, it came to
585
00:27:27,078 --> 00:27:28,579
her joining the family,
586
00:27:31,182 --> 00:27:34,151
I really thought that our
relationship was going to be different.
587
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:37,154
I did. I kind of felt rejected
by her because I felt like,
588
00:27:37,156 --> 00:27:40,624
that I was doing things
589
00:27:40,626 --> 00:27:45,029
to kind of promote this
friendship between the two of us
590
00:27:45,296 --> 00:27:48,899
and she wasn't
591
00:27:48,901 --> 00:27:51,001
taking them and accepting them,
592
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:52,670
and so I felt rejected.
593
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:53,904
I can remember
594
00:27:53,906 --> 00:27:57,074
trying to make all these little
overtures in the beginning
595
00:27:57,076 --> 00:27:58,976
and you just wouldn't respond.
596
00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:00,978
Maybe I had already,
we'd already
597
00:28:01,279 --> 00:28:03,147
created hard feelings
by that point.
598
00:28:03,149 --> 00:28:05,649
-I don't know. I don't know.
-I don't even know.
599
00:28:05,651 --> 00:28:08,052
I actually knew Meri,
for a long time
600
00:28:08,054 --> 00:28:10,854
and I knew Meri and Kody
as a married couple.
601
00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:12,990
Just the fact, that I was
going to come into the family
602
00:28:12,992 --> 00:28:14,825
and I did come into the family,
603
00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:18,495
changed the dynamic so much
that the friendship was,
604
00:28:19,964 --> 00:28:22,866
the friendship as it had
existed was irretrievable really.
605
00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:26,103
And we just never could
forge a new friendship.
606
00:28:26,105 --> 00:28:27,971
I think for me it was just more,
607
00:28:27,973 --> 00:28:30,040
I had never dealt with
someone who was so forceful,
608
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,809
it shut me down.
609
00:28:31,811 --> 00:28:33,210
I don't even know how
to interact with somebody
610
00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:36,847
who just was so direct
and so brutally honest.
611
00:28:36,849 --> 00:28:38,716
Like, I just didn't know
how to deal with that.
612
00:28:38,718 --> 00:28:40,417
It was too harsh for me.
613
00:28:40,419 --> 00:28:43,954
If it makes you feel better, I don't
remember a lot about those years.
614
00:28:43,956 --> 00:28:45,756
I don't, I don't really remember
615
00:28:45,758 --> 00:28:47,891
there's a few things
that stick out
616
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:51,962
that kind of came up with
the pond because I was so,
617
00:28:51,964 --> 00:28:54,531
overwhelmed emotionally,
I had all these little kids.
618
00:28:54,533 --> 00:28:57,901
I didn't have all the kids
in my care.
619
00:28:57,903 --> 00:29:00,971
- Unfortunately, I wasn't blessed that way...
- Yeah, right.
620
00:29:00,973 --> 00:29:05,676
but I was blessed to have
you and your kids and I
621
00:29:05,678 --> 00:29:07,244
took them on a lot.
622
00:29:07,246 --> 00:29:10,781
You know, you're a young wife,
you're a young mom,
623
00:29:10,783 --> 00:29:13,016
you're a young sister-wife,
you know,
624
00:29:13,018 --> 00:29:14,818
and you're trying
to figure things out,
625
00:29:14,820 --> 00:29:18,021
fast-forward five
or 10 or 15 or 30 years
626
00:29:18,023 --> 00:29:21,358
and you look back
at yourself and you're like,
627
00:29:22,127 --> 00:29:25,129
no, that wasn't the best
that I could have done.
628
00:29:25,131 --> 00:29:27,865
But then you have to like
give yourself grace.
629
00:29:27,867 --> 00:29:29,967
I mean I'm not perfect,
630
00:29:29,969 --> 00:29:32,636
I'm not gonna profess to be, but
631
00:29:33,138 --> 00:29:35,239
I don't think anybody is
632
00:29:35,241 --> 00:29:37,608
and I don't think anybody
should be expected to be...
633
00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:39,176
- No, I agree.
- to be honest with you.
634
00:29:39,178 --> 00:29:40,677
But I just feel like,
what do we do now
635
00:29:40,679 --> 00:29:42,913
because we have this history
and then like,
636
00:29:42,915 --> 00:29:47,284
it's molded us good or bad,
take it or leave it
637
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:50,454
and it's what we are and
now, what do we do with it?
638
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:52,089
I'm looking like,
we're 50, Meri,
639
00:29:52,091 --> 00:29:54,558
- like we have 50 more years probably.
- Yeah,
640
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,594
- I want to move forward in a meaningful way.
- Yeah.
641
00:29:57,596 --> 00:30:01,165
And I don't know
how the relationships pan out,
642
00:30:01,167 --> 00:30:03,300
but I don't know
because there's,
643
00:30:03,868 --> 00:30:05,035
I don't know,
644
00:30:05,037 --> 00:30:06,503
like, I don't know,
645
00:30:06,505 --> 00:30:09,106
but I think we can all,
646
00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:10,941
you know, I don't want to say
647
00:30:10,943 --> 00:30:12,409
I don't know how
the relationships pan out.
648
00:30:12,411 --> 00:30:16,780
I'm just gonna visualize it that
we're all five a functioning team.
649
00:30:16,782 --> 00:30:18,615
I don't see it any other way.
650
00:30:18,617 --> 00:30:20,951
For me, it was just really about
651
00:30:21,686 --> 00:30:23,587
free access to the pond
for everybody.
652
00:30:23,589 --> 00:30:26,957
- Which I...
- I think we're in agreement.
653
00:30:26,959 --> 00:30:30,060
[Meri] To me, the pond
is the pond, you know.
654
00:30:30,062 --> 00:30:34,031
It wasn't about me having
a house by the pond
655
00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:36,400
and having complete control
over the pond.
656
00:30:36,968 --> 00:30:39,436
I don't look at it that way.
657
00:30:39,438 --> 00:30:41,605
I don't look at it,
that way at all.
658
00:30:41,607 --> 00:30:43,340
So, I think
we have come a long way
659
00:30:43,342 --> 00:30:45,909
but, it just is going to take
some time, you know.
660
00:30:45,911 --> 00:30:47,344
We have a long time though.
661
00:30:48,046 --> 00:30:50,247
I mean you're kind of stuck
with me for
662
00:30:50,949 --> 00:30:52,316
as long as you want to be
stuck with me.
663
00:30:52,318 --> 00:30:54,117
- That was my plan.
- Okay.
664
00:30:54,119 --> 00:30:57,654
-So, -I'm not going
anywhere, either.
665
00:30:57,656 --> 00:31:02,392
I mean, you know, relationships are,
they ebb and they flow like, you know,
666
00:31:02,394 --> 00:31:05,262
but I'm not really planning
on ever going anywhere.
667
00:31:05,329 --> 00:31:06,630
Yeah.
668
00:31:06,632 --> 00:31:08,198
I think this is a start.
669
00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:11,101
Oh, my gosh,
I think it's a good step
670
00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:13,003
and I think, this is good
effort for Janelle and I
671
00:31:13,005 --> 00:31:16,473
to be kind of working through
some of our issues, you know,
672
00:31:16,475 --> 00:31:19,977
because not everybody in the
family is willing to work through issues.
673
00:31:19,979 --> 00:31:24,081
It's not any secret
that my relationship with Kody
674
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:26,950
is not how I would like
it to be,
675
00:31:26,952 --> 00:31:29,720
but I'm here,
I'm not going anywhere.
676
00:31:29,722 --> 00:31:31,722
I'm not an idiot,
677
00:31:31,724 --> 00:31:36,226
you know, and I can get a vibe if
somebody wants to work on things or not.
678
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:38,262
And for me, I'm just gonna
just be here
679
00:31:38,264 --> 00:31:40,330
and I'll work
on the relationships
680
00:31:40,332 --> 00:31:43,767
as I can and as we work
on individual ones,
681
00:31:43,769 --> 00:31:46,470
it will just kind of help
the whole.
682
00:31:49,807 --> 00:31:51,275
[Janelle] You know,
I've been very frustrated,
683
00:31:51,277 --> 00:31:53,176
'cause I feel like
we haven't prioritized
684
00:31:53,178 --> 00:31:54,378
getting on the property
like we should have,
685
00:31:54,380 --> 00:31:55,946
We're doing five water tanks.
686
00:31:55,948 --> 00:31:57,414
Yeah, we'll do one
for each house.
687
00:31:57,416 --> 00:31:59,216
- There's five houses.
- Yes, there's five lots.
688
00:31:59,218 --> 00:32:00,450
There will be five houses.
689
00:32:00,452 --> 00:32:03,253
Every time I talk about some
investment that we can make
690
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:06,323
they poo-poo me, they
fight with me, I want a rental.
691
00:32:06,325 --> 00:32:07,591
I think that's fair.
692
00:32:07,593 --> 00:32:08,625
I need a house.
693
00:32:08,627 --> 00:32:09,993
Like let's build
our own houses first.
694
00:32:09,995 --> 00:32:11,328
How about that?
695
00:32:25,076 --> 00:32:28,512
[Kody] So, it's been two years
since we bought the property.
696
00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:31,114
So we've been really slow
going on this project.
697
00:32:32,417 --> 00:32:34,051
Look at the big tractor.
698
00:32:34,053 --> 00:32:36,620
See that thing, they
were digging all last night.
699
00:32:36,622 --> 00:32:38,822
[Janelle] Where are they
gonna put the tank?
700
00:32:38,824 --> 00:32:41,692
Over on the road next to
the road going up the hill.
701
00:32:41,694 --> 00:32:44,895
So far we've not developed
the property at all.
702
00:32:44,897 --> 00:32:49,566
We've been basically going through
hashing it out on who gets what property?
703
00:32:49,568 --> 00:32:51,969
Hey, Sol,
you're not in school, huh?
704
00:32:51,971 --> 00:32:54,838
I didn't want the school to
get in the way of his education.
705
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:56,139
Yeah.
706
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,141
[Janelle] So, I just had
a conversation with Meri,
707
00:32:58,143 --> 00:33:00,277
I feel like it was a very nice
708
00:33:00,279 --> 00:33:02,646
preview of what
any of the conversations
709
00:33:02,648 --> 00:33:05,115
that we have in the future
could look like.
710
00:33:05,117 --> 00:33:08,218
Like I just think, this was
really constructive today.
711
00:33:08,220 --> 00:33:09,886
I want him to see the holes.
Come on.
712
00:33:09,888 --> 00:33:11,588
[Janelle] I've been
very frustrated,
713
00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:12,956
'cause I feel like
we haven't prioritized
714
00:33:12,958 --> 00:33:14,391
getting on the property
like we should have.
715
00:33:14,393 --> 00:33:15,993
This has been kind
of frustrating to me
716
00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:17,627
how slow this has gone.
717
00:33:17,629 --> 00:33:19,596
You want to come out
and help me peel these logs.
718
00:33:20,264 --> 00:33:21,231
You don't.
719
00:33:21,399 --> 00:33:23,767
We're having a giant cistern
delivered today.
720
00:33:23,769 --> 00:33:27,604
A cistern is a tank that holds
water and delivers it to your home.
721
00:33:27,606 --> 00:33:30,107
It's gonna sit in the ground
right there running this way.
722
00:33:30,109 --> 00:33:31,942
- [Janelle] Okay.
- It's huge, huh, Sol.
723
00:33:31,944 --> 00:33:33,043
Do you want to jump in it?
724
00:33:33,045 --> 00:33:34,878
- [Solomon] No, no, no.
- Okay. Just teasing you.
725
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:39,916
This is a polygamist cistern.
It's 20,000 gallons
726
00:33:39,918 --> 00:33:44,054
Delivering water, that will
go to each one of the homes.
727
00:33:44,056 --> 00:33:45,355
It's a tiny step,
728
00:33:45,357 --> 00:33:47,858
but it's really progress
moving forward.
729
00:33:47,860 --> 00:33:49,026
And maybe one of these days
730
00:33:49,028 --> 00:33:51,161
we'll actually,
get a house built and
731
00:33:51,163 --> 00:33:53,130
start moving out
onto Coyote Pass.
732
00:33:53,132 --> 00:33:54,898
20,000 gallons, right? Yeah.
733
00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:58,101
Well, that's 20,000 gallons
to feed
734
00:33:58,103 --> 00:34:03,006
each one of ours, which is
going to be five times five.
735
00:34:03,008 --> 00:34:04,975
We're doing five water tanks?
736
00:34:04,977 --> 00:34:06,843
Yeah, we'll do
one for each house.
737
00:34:06,845 --> 00:34:08,345
There's five houses?
738
00:34:08,347 --> 00:34:11,014
Yes, there's five lots.
There will be five houses.
739
00:34:11,016 --> 00:34:12,649
You're gonna have
your own house?
740
00:34:12,651 --> 00:34:15,152
- There's five lots.
- Okay.
741
00:34:15,154 --> 00:34:18,922
I mean, we got enough, enough
visiting kids that we,
742
00:34:18,924 --> 00:34:19,756
we might need a guesthouse.
743
00:34:19,758 --> 00:34:20,690
- I don't know.
- Okay.
744
00:34:20,692 --> 00:34:22,259
My wives are just funny,
this way.
745
00:34:22,261 --> 00:34:25,062
Every time I talk about some
investment that we can make
746
00:34:25,064 --> 00:34:27,798
that will actually, create
an income for us that will,
747
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,266
will actually become an asset,
748
00:34:29,268 --> 00:34:31,468
they poo-poo me,
they fight with me,
749
00:34:31,470 --> 00:34:34,104
they argue with me,
they want to know the details.
750
00:34:34,106 --> 00:34:35,405
I want a rental.
751
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:36,973
I think that's fair.
752
00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:39,609
- Okay.
- We've discussed this.
753
00:34:39,611 --> 00:34:41,244
I'm just teasing you.
Gosh...
754
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:43,213
Okay, so, what Kody
keeps talking about
755
00:34:43,215 --> 00:34:45,115
is buying
all these rental properties,
756
00:34:45,117 --> 00:34:47,918
which won't really pay us
any income for a lot of years
757
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,220
before I build my own house,
to live in.
758
00:34:50,222 --> 00:34:52,155
So, that's where we get
really upset.
759
00:34:52,157 --> 00:34:53,890
It's like, let's build
our own houses first.
760
00:34:53,892 --> 00:34:54,724
How about that?
761
00:34:54,726 --> 00:34:55,992
Do you want to climb down in it?
762
00:34:55,994 --> 00:34:58,161
I'll just let you down in it,
and I'll help you back out.
763
00:34:58,163 --> 00:35:00,297
Okay, as the mother who
is here, would his mother
764
00:35:00,299 --> 00:35:02,599
- want him to do this?
- It will be fine here.
765
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:04,167
-No, gosh, Kody.
-Come here. I'll show you, Sol.
766
00:35:04,169 --> 00:35:06,136
Come over here.
All right, so...
767
00:35:06,138 --> 00:35:08,839
[Janelle] I know Robyn, and
I know Robyn's a big worrier,
768
00:35:08,841 --> 00:35:10,340
probably bigger than I am.
769
00:35:10,342 --> 00:35:13,043
And I'm like, "Dude, I have
to represent Robyn here."
770
00:35:13,045 --> 00:35:14,277
- Come over here.
- This is terrifying.
771
00:35:14,279 --> 00:35:16,079
- Are you sure it's okay?
- It's terrifying.
772
00:35:16,081 --> 00:35:19,216
It's a giant hole.
And a little boy.
773
00:35:19,218 --> 00:35:22,419
What... what better magic
is there?
774
00:35:22,421 --> 00:35:25,088
Robyn's preference is
that I'm always playing...
775
00:35:25,090 --> 00:35:27,157
He's going to be fine.
776
00:35:27,159 --> 00:35:31,094
It's just fun to get in holes.
Big, big dirt holes.
777
00:35:31,096 --> 00:35:33,096
It's almost like
walking through a cave?
778
00:35:33,098 --> 00:35:36,199
All right, just make big,
big steps or little step...
779
00:35:36,201 --> 00:35:38,802
Go low to the ground. He's
gotta go low to the ground.
780
00:35:38,804 --> 00:35:40,170
[Kody] How does it look
down there?
781
00:35:41,372 --> 00:35:46,143
Well, I mean, is it like deep?
Are you amazed at its size?
782
00:35:46,145 --> 00:35:47,243
It's actually pretty big.
783
00:35:47,245 --> 00:35:50,147
I guess I hadn't thought about
how big 20,000 was.
784
00:35:52,783 --> 00:35:55,252
Look, Sol, there it is.
Look at that. Look at that.
785
00:35:55,254 --> 00:35:58,488
- Oh, my, that's humongous.
- Look at that tank.
786
00:35:59,957 --> 00:36:05,529
I have no idea, how many
gallons 20,000 gallons is.
787
00:36:05,531 --> 00:36:07,197
I know what a gallon of milk
looks like
788
00:36:07,199 --> 00:36:10,300
and I guess 20,000 of those
lined up.
789
00:36:10,302 --> 00:36:14,037
But I don't know how many of
those, I would use to take a shower.
790
00:36:14,071 --> 00:36:16,273
I have no idea.
791
00:36:16,275 --> 00:36:19,843
[Robyn] Yeah, so, the
20,000-gallon cistern seems like a lot.
792
00:36:19,845 --> 00:36:22,179
It depends on who's taking
the shower.
793
00:36:22,181 --> 00:36:26,116
If it's Kody taking a shower
it's not a lot of showers.
794
00:36:26,118 --> 00:36:29,152
Kody takes really long showers.
795
00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:31,688
[Janelle] This is actually,
a big step.
796
00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:34,624
We cannot build, until we have
our infrastructure built.
797
00:36:34,626 --> 00:36:38,261
We can now hook our pipes
up to this big thing and get water.
798
00:36:38,263 --> 00:36:40,130
So that's a really big step.
You have raw land.
799
00:36:40,132 --> 00:36:41,231
So I have...
we have no sewer,
800
00:36:41,233 --> 00:36:43,099
we have no water,
we have no power.
801
00:36:43,101 --> 00:36:47,070
This is a really big step
putting the water in on this land.
802
00:36:47,072 --> 00:36:50,373
[Kody] This is the beginning of
our development of the property,
803
00:36:50,808 --> 00:36:52,242
right here.
804
00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,614
[Christine] All right, Ysabel,
here we are.
805
00:36:59,617 --> 00:37:00,784
Yay!
806
00:37:00,786 --> 00:37:02,485
Ysabel is really hurt
that Kody is not here.
807
00:37:02,487 --> 00:37:04,054
Okay, then bend forward.
808
00:37:04,056 --> 00:37:04,955
Good.
809
00:37:04,957 --> 00:37:07,057
I need him there
810
00:37:07,059 --> 00:37:10,594
and he's not putting his daughter above
the fear that he has of the pandemic.
811
00:37:10,596 --> 00:37:12,596
So here's the rib
coming up like this.
812
00:37:13,798 --> 00:37:15,498
I feel like a good mom today.
813
00:37:23,140 --> 00:37:24,708
[Christine] Once we got
to New Jersey,
814
00:37:24,710 --> 00:37:27,010
we had to quarantine
for two weeks.
815
00:37:27,012 --> 00:37:31,114
My sister lives like an hour
away from the surgery center.
816
00:37:31,116 --> 00:37:33,250
So we're going to quarantine
with her for two weeks
817
00:37:33,252 --> 00:37:35,185
and she's agreed to follow,
818
00:37:35,187 --> 00:37:38,088
and everything the hospital
recommended us follow.
819
00:37:38,090 --> 00:37:39,889
Well, the hospital insisted
us follow.
820
00:37:39,891 --> 00:37:41,524
All right, Ysabel, here we are.
821
00:37:43,027 --> 00:37:44,261
Yay!
822
00:37:44,362 --> 00:37:46,363
[Christine] We're meeting
Dr. Antonacci for the first time.
823
00:37:46,365 --> 00:37:47,764
- Uh-huh.
- What do you think?
824
00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:50,600
I'm pretty excited
and I'm nervous.
825
00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:56,606
I am worried and nervous
about a big surgery like this.
826
00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:58,208
- [knocking at door]
- [Christine] Open the door.
827
00:37:59,877 --> 00:38:01,611
But while I'm with Ysabel,
828
00:38:01,613 --> 00:38:04,748
I'm gonna be
as upbeat as possible.
829
00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:06,616
That's her. Is that her?
830
00:38:06,618 --> 00:38:08,618
[nurse] Yes we are putting up
Ysabel's X-rays here,
831
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:09,753
that we just took
at the hospital.
832
00:38:09,755 --> 00:38:10,887
[Christine] Oh, good.
833
00:38:10,889 --> 00:38:12,989
[nurse] But these are
the blueprints for surgery.
834
00:38:12,991 --> 00:38:14,557
[Christine] So these
are the ones from yesterday?
835
00:38:14,559 --> 00:38:18,261
[nurse] Yeah. These were taken
at the hospital yesterday.
836
00:38:18,263 --> 00:38:21,064
[Christine] When you see Ysabel
you don't look at her and go,
837
00:38:21,066 --> 00:38:22,098
oh, she has a curvy spine.
838
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:25,035
You can't tell, you can't tell.
839
00:38:25,037 --> 00:38:29,939
It's really one of the hardest
things to see is that X-ray.
840
00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:32,509
Take a look
at the hardware here.
841
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,344
[Christine] So,
they have a model,
842
00:38:34,346 --> 00:38:36,880
so we can see
like the inside of the spine
843
00:38:36,882 --> 00:38:38,782
what it looks like.
844
00:38:38,784 --> 00:38:42,118
You're tall enough and your
vertebrae are big enough
845
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,454
to put two chords side by side.
846
00:38:44,456 --> 00:38:45,322
[Ysabel] Okay.
847
00:38:45,324 --> 00:38:46,923
[Christine]
The traditional surgery,
848
00:38:46,925 --> 00:38:49,893
they have the patient lay on
their stomach for the surgery.
849
00:38:49,895 --> 00:38:52,662
They cut open the back,
open it up
850
00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:55,732
and then take rods
and screw it into the spine
851
00:38:55,734 --> 00:38:56,766
to straighten the spine.
852
00:38:56,768 --> 00:38:58,902
That's the traditional
scoliosis surgery.
853
00:38:58,904 --> 00:39:01,905
With Ysabel's, they're
going in through the side,
854
00:39:01,907 --> 00:39:03,740
so then, they take these fibers
855
00:39:03,742 --> 00:39:06,943
and then they attach the
fiber with screws to the spine.
856
00:39:06,945 --> 00:39:09,179
And then they tighten it up
using the screws
857
00:39:09,181 --> 00:39:11,247
and the fibers themselves
straighten the spine.
858
00:39:11,249 --> 00:39:13,616
And it's less
of an invasive surgery
859
00:39:13,618 --> 00:39:15,819
because it's just accessing
through the side
860
00:39:15,821 --> 00:39:17,620
versus opening up
the whole back.
861
00:39:17,622 --> 00:39:19,155
Okay, bend forward.
862
00:39:19,157 --> 00:39:21,758
Good. So here's the rib
coming up like this.
863
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,860
Your scantel
is a little loose here.
864
00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:27,764
You can see it's riding right over
the ridge of the elevated rib cage.
865
00:39:27,766 --> 00:39:29,799
Now, if I crunch you
over this way
866
00:39:29,801 --> 00:39:31,134
and really crunch it, crunch it,
867
00:39:31,136 --> 00:39:33,436
you can see,
that goes down pretty well.
868
00:39:33,438 --> 00:39:36,206
It's heartbreaking.
The first time I saw her curve
869
00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:38,675
was heartbreaking when I
showed it to all the parents.
870
00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:40,343
What her curve looks like.
871
00:39:40,345 --> 00:39:43,213
It's hard. It's hard to see
an X-ray like that on your kid.
872
00:39:43,215 --> 00:39:44,781
It's real hard.
873
00:39:44,783 --> 00:39:47,016
And so the goal for tomorrow,
874
00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:49,352
since you're pretty mature
bone wise...
875
00:39:49,354 --> 00:39:50,920
[Ysabel] Right.
876
00:39:50,922 --> 00:39:54,090
that we should be able to
get this to around ten degrees.
877
00:39:54,092 --> 00:39:54,924
[Ysabel] Awesome.
878
00:39:54,926 --> 00:39:56,192
Yeah, ten degrees.
879
00:39:56,194 --> 00:39:57,927
I don't even know
what that looks like.
880
00:39:57,929 --> 00:40:00,830
That's gonna be an X-ray.
I want to see though for sure.
881
00:40:00,832 --> 00:40:02,298
That would be
a great X-ray to see.
882
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:03,533
Tomorrow's the surgery.
883
00:40:03,535 --> 00:40:05,135
So, you just want to get
a good night's sleep tonight.
884
00:40:05,137 --> 00:40:06,369
Awesome!
885
00:40:06,371 --> 00:40:08,838
- Don't overeat tonight, just stay light.
- Right.
886
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,707
For the first few days
after surgery,
887
00:40:10,709 --> 00:40:12,375
you're going to be on
a lot of pain medicines.
888
00:40:12,377 --> 00:40:15,745
This has been a long time
coming and I'm just so excited
889
00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:18,047
that we can do this for her.
890
00:40:18,049 --> 00:40:21,317
But of course, I'm concerned
it's a major, major surgery.
891
00:40:22,820 --> 00:40:25,155
But I'm just really,
I'm just mostly excited.
892
00:40:25,157 --> 00:40:27,090
- [Christine] How are you doing?
- I'm doing really good.
893
00:40:27,092 --> 00:40:30,226
I'm excited that they
explained a little bit better
894
00:40:30,228 --> 00:40:32,061
because I was having
a little like
895
00:40:32,063 --> 00:40:34,063
just anxiety about it,
just because the surgery
896
00:40:34,065 --> 00:40:35,165
and I was still
a little confused.
897
00:40:35,167 --> 00:40:36,633
But he explained it great
898
00:40:36,635 --> 00:40:39,235
and everything's cleared up
and I'm so excited.
899
00:40:39,237 --> 00:40:41,337
Ysabel's really hurt
that Kody's not here.
900
00:40:41,339 --> 00:40:42,405
She's really hurt.
901
00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:44,240
So Ysabel's surgery,
902
00:40:44,242 --> 00:40:46,409
so, if we have to have
insurance for the surgery.
903
00:40:46,411 --> 00:40:47,977
When do they
want to schedule it?
904
00:40:47,979 --> 00:40:49,078
[Christine] I think September.
905
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,181
[Kody] Does it hurt us
to wait six months?
906
00:40:51,849 --> 00:40:53,416
[Christine]
She's in constant pain.
907
00:40:53,418 --> 00:40:55,218
You can't come the whole time.
908
00:40:55,220 --> 00:40:57,554
Listen, I'm not flying there.
909
00:40:57,556 --> 00:41:00,023
[Ysabel] I think I'm a
little upset that he can't go
910
00:41:00,025 --> 00:41:03,326
because he's always talking
about how like family comes first.
911
00:41:03,328 --> 00:41:05,195
But when it comes down
to it, like
912
00:41:05,896 --> 00:41:08,198
I need him there
913
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:12,902
and he's not putting his daughter above
the fear that he has of the pandemic.
914
00:41:12,904 --> 00:41:14,170
I'm trying to do what's right
for Ysabel.
915
00:41:14,172 --> 00:41:16,039
I understand,
916
00:41:16,041 --> 00:41:18,074
but we have to do what's
right for the whole family,
917
00:41:18,076 --> 00:41:19,943
not just what Ysabel needs.
918
00:41:21,278 --> 00:41:24,080
[Christine] It's been so hard
919
00:41:24,082 --> 00:41:25,381
and it's taken so long.
920
00:41:25,383 --> 00:41:28,318
It's taken so long, to give
her the help that she needs
921
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,019
and it's tomorrow.
922
00:41:34,158 --> 00:41:35,625
I'll feel like a good mom
tomorrow.
923
00:41:35,627 --> 00:41:37,293
Not that I don't, but just...
924
00:41:38,896 --> 00:41:41,364
I'll finally be able to
give her what I wanted to.
925
00:41:45,269 --> 00:41:47,303
[Kody] Next time on
Sister Wives...
926
00:41:47,305 --> 00:41:51,007
We flew to New Jersey for
Ysabel's scoliosis surgery.
927
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:53,109
That Kody is not here.
It's ripping her apart.
928
00:41:53,111 --> 00:41:54,177
[Ysabel] Daddy.
929
00:41:54,179 --> 00:41:55,612
[Christine] Yeah,
I'll call Daddy, right now.
930
00:41:57,014 --> 00:41:58,281
[Christine] I...
I know, honey.
931
00:41:58,283 --> 00:42:01,417
So I just wish we could circle
around Izzy and Christine.
932
00:42:01,419 --> 00:42:03,987
It makes me realize
that in plural marriage
933
00:42:03,989 --> 00:42:05,989
I don't matter. You do you.
934
00:42:05,991 --> 00:42:06,923
I'm going to do me.
935
00:42:06,925 --> 00:42:09,359
I am not the head
of this family.
936
00:42:09,361 --> 00:42:11,628
And that's not the deal
we made when we got married.
937
00:42:11,630 --> 00:42:13,897
If I quit, it's not going
to get better.
938
00:42:13,899 --> 00:42:17,467
It's lonely.
Like I live alone.
939
00:42:17,469 --> 00:42:19,068
[Christine] Everything's
got to get better.
940
00:42:19,070 --> 00:42:20,970
It can only get better,
honestly.
941
00:42:20,972 --> 00:42:22,071
[bleep]
942
00:42:23,140 --> 00:42:25,542
[Kody] COVID has revealed us
943
00:42:25,544 --> 00:42:28,244
and we are sad,
sorry, lonely little people.