[Kody] Previously on Sister Wives...
Tell me more, Christine,
about this feeling, about moving to Utah.
No, this is not a safe conversation anymore.
I'm sorry. It's just not... I'm not going to talk to you.
It feels like a bit of a crossroads.
I don't know what to do.
You can go, be in Utah, do your thing. I don't care.
[Kody] I've had three of these four women threaten to leave me
for a significant part of the marriages.
It's not a new thing to be threatened to be left.
[Kody] The lot that would have the pond
would most likely be my lot.
You guys all good with that so far?
[Meri] I guess, it really depends on where everybody wants to be.
I was loving the idea of a house right there,
but it sounds like that's not happening anymore.
So apparently, there is no me in polygamy.
It's the only configuration I can manage to go.
- This works. - I think it's stupid.
Kody talking about having his own house.
I'm like, what a waste of money.
It is late summer and because of COVID,
our children have been out of school
for over five months.
We're supposed to be locked down
sort of quarantining that kind of thing.
But I've got three wives,
they're going to be out of town
all the same time doing other things.
Life has to go on.
But it's separated all of us from each other
as we sort of take different approaches to COVID-19
and how to behave regarding it.
We're just not in the same place anymore.
We are leaving today to go to New Jersey.
For Ysabel's scoliosis surgery.
We found out she had scoliosis
when she was in middle school, like 13.
She's 17 now,
and we've just been fighting it for years.
We put her doing exercises and all this stuff.
She was in the brace, the daytime brace,
the nighttime brace.
We've tried everything.
Izzy?
You ready to go, baby?
All right. So we're ready to go.
We're gonna start loading up stuff into the car.
When we found Ysabel had scoliosis,
there was a 26-degree curve
and now it's way above a 50-degree curve
and at the 50 degrees is where they say,
okay, it's time for you to get the surgery.
She's been in awful pain for nine months.
Finally, here we are. We're going to get the surgery,
and we're super excited.
We're gonna do a visual of how we are gonna be safe at the airport today.
Yes, there we go. That's what we're doing today.
We haven't been able to see each other a lot at all
during this pandemic.
Of course, I wouldn't want to quarantine from Kody that long.
But you know, if I had to, I would.
[Christine] All right, we're ready to go. Let's load up the car.
Heck yeah.
I'm not traveling with Christine and Ysabel
on the way to Ysabel's surgery.
I'm not going to the surgery. I think it's very risky.
I also feel like a total hypocrite
if I'm not keeping the rules that I'm asking and begging,
literally begging everybody to keep.
[Ysabel] I'm a little nervous for the surgery in a couple of days.
Um, we'll go there and then after two weeks
I'll get the surgery.
But I am really nervous for the surgery.
[Christine] So, Izzy, you excited for this?
Uh, yeah, I'm really excited.
I'm a little bit stressed out because this morning was so,
like stressful, because I had classes that I had to attend.
I mean honestly, it's Ysabel that I care about more.
I think Ysabel, is really going to have a hard time
being without Kody because she really,
really relies on him when she's in pain.
[Christine] All right, let's go, lovelies.
I think his priorities are a little screwed up.
But,
and like I don't really like,
like disrespect him, because he is my dad.
And I understand, I do. I do understand why he's doing it.
It's just really frustrating
and really, really hard.
You can't do that, Axel.
[Janelle] So while Christine, was going to be in New Jersey for Ysabel surgery,
I went to help Maddie with her daughter, Evie K,
who was having surgery as well.
How is Evie K?
Evie was born with a collection of conditions,
they call FATCO.
She's just missing a few bones.
She has some fingers missing
and one of her legs is considerably shorter.
All right.
All right, you ready?
One,
two, three.
This is your granddaughter.
[Kody] Aw, look at that wide-eyed little baby.
Evie K!
[Janelle] Maddie and Caleb have been talking a lot
to the pediatricians and the orthopedic surgeons
and all the people who work with this kind of thing.
They possibly have a choice.
In a lot of cases, they can lengthen the bone that's there.
But, it's a lot of surgeries
or they amputate and get ready for a prosthetic.
So what it was gonna mean though was surgeries like every eight months
and then at the end, there was no guarantee
that she'd even really be able to walk on it.
After long deliberation, Maddie and Caleb decided
that they were going to opt for the amputation.
Yeah, so the surgery is actually tomorrow.
I'm not, I'm not particularly worried about it, unless I really think about it.
So, I'm just
staying positive about it.
[Meri] Hey, girls, does this not flip around?
Oh, my gosh, I don't know how to use it.
Here I am.
So, this is kind of a weird summer,
in the middle of this COVID pandemic.
I personally have been, trying to just do like
more of a quarantine and not going anywhere.
You know Kody and I are at this place where,
like, when we talk it's cordial, it's fine.
I mean, I'd be more comfortable
if I saw him more often,
we talked more often, but
you know, it is what it is.
Okay. I am super, super, super excited.
So today, I am at
Lizzie's Heritage Inn, my bed and breakfast.
Today is the 150 year anniversary of the B&B.
Say hello.
I love you.
Anyway, we're going to do something every month or every other month
just to celebrate 150 years
because this house has been around for 150 years now.
Well, COVID hit, so we haven't been able to do that.
You know, we've totally had to switch it up
and make it all virtual,
because people can't come.
Here I come.
I hope you're camera ready.
Audrey!
She's my social media extraordinaire person.
- Okay. - [Audrey] Come here, Mom.
I have something really exciting to announce today, you guys.
Guess what today is, Audrey?
It's our, one year to the wedding day...
- anniversary. - [Meri whooping]
Yeah, can you call it a one-year pre-versary?
A pre-versary!
[Meri] It's a pre-versary.
Mariah and Audrey met
while they were in college, and they've actually been engaged
for a couple of years now,
Mariah and Audrey are getting married in one year from today.
[all cheering]
Maybe we should plan a little bit.
[Meri] Maybe go ahead and let me know when you do
because I'm totally good.
I want to be involved.
Let's talk about it. I don't want to be pushy.
But if this is, you know, happening in a year,
we should at least kind of start planning and thinking, but
they don't even know what they're doing yet.
So we can't really even plan.
[Audrey] Yay!
Perfect.
-We're good -[Audrey] Love it, love it, love it.
Teamwork to make the dream work.
So one of the things that we're doing today is a bake along.
So Audrey and Mariah posted online,
our banana bread recipe that we're gonna do.
Mariah and I will go live on social media
as we're making it.
Okay, so we are doing our bake along.
This is Mariah's brilliant idea to do
for this 150-year event. So thank you.
We decided to do our banana bread recipe.
It is family famous.
But maybe, if you guys are baking along...
It will be famous in your family as well.
Mariah and I have really come to a good place.
Like our relationship is really good.
You know, there was tension for a while.
Okay, Mom,
I'm gay.
You know, I think there was probably multiple things that,
contributed to the tension.
There were times that I was angry at you, Kody.
Not gonna lie. I'm, I was angry at you.
I had some stress and trauma going on in my life.
She was figuring some things out for herself
and it really just caused a conflict.
To be honest with you this is a little bit,
not quite ripe enough, if you ask me.
- I like them a little bit more... - As brown as possible.
I like, yeah, but not black.
I like them, like this.
Color of brown more all over. Okay?
My personality is black and white, hot or cold.
There's no in the middle.
I'm like, you don't want to have a relationship with me
fine,
but like I remember thinking, you know what,
that's obviously not the way to handle a relationship.
So two cups of flour,
one,
teaspoon of baking soda, half teaspoon salt.
This is an easy recipe, y'all.
[Meri] You know, something that I've really been trying to work on
is how I interact and respond to other people.
That's what it looks like.
You know, making sure the other person
feels heard and validated.
Oh, and another thing that I learned
when I was growing up is clean as you go, when you cook.
Thanks, Mom.
You're welcome.
I've got a lot of relationships
that I would like to improve, and I know that it really takes
honesty and openness to do that.
We say our goodbyes for the day,
but thank you for hanging out with us.
I hope you've had a fabulous Saturday.
You know, I've got
a little conversation that I'd like to have with Janelle,
because you know, I keep hearing
comments and ideas and thoughts about,
you know, an issue that I just feel like I need to bring up to her.
You know, hopefully, this technique of just listening
can help other relationships, as well.
[Caleb] Janelle, come sit here with me.
Great job!
[Janelle] Evie's surgery was three days ago.
Nothing was out of order,
like it was just all went according to the way it was supposed to.
And they came home really quickly
compared to what we thought was gonna happen.
Evie is not 100%.
I mean she's not super happy yet,
but she's not this miserable crying, poor little baby.
[Caleb] She's one year old.
[Janelle] Now she's, now she's starting now, she's like wait,
I can stick my thumb in there?
[Janelle] Her birthday was her day of surgery, her actual birthday.
So we're going to just celebrate her one year about birthday,
a little late.
Here you go, Ms. Evie.
[man] Okay, was that good, buddy?
[Janelle] Cut her through the frosting into the cake maybe.
So Evie had surgery
a little bit ago, huh?
She is getting her cast off soon.
She had what's called a void amputation.
So they cut off from here
basically,
just so that the heel will fit in a prosthetic,
and they did that because Evie's
left leg is shorter than her right leg.
[man] And lick the frosting!
Welcome to our family.
[Janelle] Evie is already moving around
and I know that with prosthetics and stuff,
her life's gonna, not be any different.
She's not going to ever know, anything different.
She's going to grow up and be able to run and play
and jump and everything.
She just had part of her foot amputated
and she's already like, okay, nothing's gonna stop me.
[Meri] I don't know
how much to bring up from the past and work through.
And I've heard like you and Kody say things that
basically, tell me there's still issues with me.
You know, really truly Meri and I, for decades struggled,
to understand each other to see eye to eye.
We made it work because we had to raise the kids.
So, we're gonna meet and probably talk about stuff
because that's what we do.
It's important, that we keep using the opportunities,
that present themselves to kind of talk about our relationship.
[Meri] Going into this conversation with Janelle,
I'm trying to be really calm about it.
I don't know how it's gonna go.
I'm hoping that she and I can go into this
both being open and kind and honest.
You know, maybe not just the topic,
but just the fact that she and I can have a conversation
and work through some issues
that I can tell are still lingering.
I was thinking about it on the way out here today.
I think it's been almost a year,
since we talked...
We went to dinner that one time,
and you're like, "What are we all here for?"
Oh, yeah.
- "What are we doing?" - Yeah.
"Do we want to work on our family?"
- And then COVID hit. - Like, what the hell?
So, you know, I guess once we got moved to Flagstaff
and things calmed down, I had a lot of
time to think and I realized,
that my future is the five adults in our family.
Kids are gonna grow up and move away.
But this is my community.
And I've been really, truly waiting for inspiration.
But maybe, the next question is,
do you think our family feels like it used to?
Like, back when we were all together and you know,
like when you first met us, Robyn,
does it feel like that in our family now?
Since you've been to Flagstaff, it's been different.
Because we don't need each other as much.
We've lost something,
and I don't know what the solution is.
Of course, I'm an advocate of the one home,
but I'm not saying that is the answer here.
The COVID separation has been hard on us.
I think it's kind of set us backwards a little bit.
So, I'm still very much about trying to
make this a unit of the five adults.
The five parents stronger.
I've been kind of feeling like...
because of that
you are open to conversation.
Yes, I am.
One of the things that
like I know in my conversations with Kody,
on and off through the years is
leave the past in the past.
- Mmm-hmm. - Let's work on from here to the future.
But if the conversation keeps coming up,
and I keep hearing about it, this is, this is how I feel.
And I could totally be wrong.
- I don't even know. - I mean, are you hearing conversation
that I've said to somebody else?
So I understand that
Janelle talked to Christine and Kody,
about not wanting me to have
the piece of property by the pond.
You know, and I've also heard Kody say, you know, I've got
wives who really don't want Meri to be...
by the pond.
I don't know
how much
to bring up from the past and work through.
- You know what I mean? - Yeah.
And I've heard like you and Kody say things that
basically, tell me there's still issues with me.
Yes. So, I mean, sometimes
because we are a family
and there's not a whole lot of secrets in a family,
conversations get spilled, quote unquote.
Uh, Kody told me where you guys were all going to be
and I was going to be back there.
Oh, he told me you didn't want that.
[Kody] You said, you didn't like it. So--
- Quit making up crap of what I say. - You did.
[Kody] You said that?
I think Meri's referencing when we were all out on the property
talking about where to put houses.
You told me that you guys came out here
and she said she didn't want that spot.
[Janelle] One thing I will say, and I told Christine this up earlier.
Yeah.
I think whoever lives there
has got to be totally cool with easy access to the pond,
no control of the pond.
Yeah, that's what Kody was saying too.
And I know that when we lived in the Lehi house,
she didn't want the kids going through her house
because it was a lot of traffic.
I expressed that I didn't want anybody living near the pond
because I felt like that should be accessible to everybody.
And I really did have a concern specifically about Meri,
because of some stuff that had happened
in the past.
I say something to Kody,
he's not being careful, we aggravate the situation
because we are having conversations with
a confidant or something and those things get slipped.
[Kody] The real problem isn't the gossip between all of us.
The real problem is,
plural marriage requires that you behave like a saint.
If you don't you have problems.
We haven't been behaving like saints,
so we have problems.
And half of it's about the communication.
I don't...
I don't know if there's issues per se, or it's just
concerns.
So I'll just say this one,
I have heard you say
quite often about the pond
and not wanting anybody by it.
And then I've also heard you talk about the house in Lehi,
and so it makes me feel like there's still
some,
something.
Well, I think I know what you're referencing
and I really did have a concern,
um, about anybody, especially you but anybody
building by the pond, because
- you know, if I want to be out there at 5:00 a.m... - Mmm-hmm.
I don't want anyone to be like,
you can't be out there at 5:00 a.m.
or if someone wants to be out there at 10:00 p.m.
I'm not gonna be like you can't be out there at 10:00 p.m.
- You know what I mean? - Right.
So I had some real concerns.
And then for a while you were talking about being by the pond
and possibly having a deck which would be awesome.
But I worry because in Lehi,
you didn't want people walking through.
So Christine and I couldn't walk through your house
to get to each other's houses.
Not on a regular basis. Yeah.
Well, the kids kind of took it as,
we always sort of took it as always.
[Janelle] So in Lehi, we had this situation
where Christine was downstairs,
and Meri was upstairs
and there was like the internal staircase.
And then on the other side, it was me
and I had upstairs and downstairs,
so it was kind of like all one big house connected.
So the only way I could get to Christine's house,
inside the house
would be to go through Meri's upstairs apartment.
She didn't want us to do that.
So Christine and I had to go out the back door and in the other back door,
we had to always be
going outside to each other's houses.
I slipped on those damn stairs
so many times outside Christine's door, it was cold,
it was wet.
I worked full time,
there was a time that I worked two jobs.
I just felt like that,
it wasn't inappropriate for me to have the respect
of my personal space within my home
when I wasn't even there,
I guess to me, the outside is like so different, than my...
Oh, okay.
- My personal space and like when I'm gone... - Okay.
and I'm like okay, so people are going through my house
and what's happening and,
-you know, I mean, -I don't know,
you know, Meri, I don't know. Like it was a long time ago, the kids were little.
You know, and I appreciate understanding that
it might have been a privacy thing or it might have been,
but it always felt sort of like a control thing,
- to me. Yeah. - Really?
I just struggled with my living room, my living space,
being a hallway.
I just worried that,
you'd get angry at one time, like we all do.
And instead of like slamming the doors
when we all lived in one house, you just slammed the doors
and stuff 'cause you were angry.
You'd somehow,
- like... - Wow, Janelle.
Like, no, but these were the things that were,
you know, like I'm thinking, well you might just be like,
well, nobody can come over and use my part of the pond or something, like...
These were the things I was afraid of.
[sighs wearily]
I don't know. I guess, I just didn't think that this was gonna be
starting to point fingers at what-somebody's-done-wrong kind of a conversation.
Yeah, I have slammed doors and I've been mad before.
And I've always worried about and it could be any of us.
Honestly, that's why I didn't want anybody
because you get sort of,
like, you get specific about your area
and then it creates barriers
and problems for the family, as a whole.
They're not feeling the sister-wife relationship,
and for years
actually, for decades, for decades,
I have been trying to get them all to function
in a sense, as my family
and I have discovered that my wives really
don't want that relationship with each other.
So what do we,
like honestly, like for real legit,
I don't know, like what we'd do about that now
because there is the history.
Yeah.
Um, I have my reasons which...
we obviously have never talked about.
The stairs were basically right across the hall from my bedroom
and I'm like if I'm in bed
and maybe Kody's there with me,
it's just weird to have a wife walk through my house.
Sorry, you know what I mean?
I would never want to come across as
like just trying to justify my position,
but at the same time wanting to hear my position, heard.
You know, I think for us back then it was just
whatever opinion was the loudest,
of I don't really want anybody
to come through my house all the time,
which I get, like I get that.
So, it would have been nice if we could have been logical at that point.
And making a decision that would have incorporated everything,
the family and the individual.
For me, the only time it really came up was with the pond.
Like, and worrying about access for the whole family.
And I think, we should write legal contracts
because you know what, there's no guarantees.
- Okay, I hear you. - Yeah.
Right now, we would all agree
to the access and it wouldn't be a problem.
But what happens if somebody dies
or somebody gets disgruntled and moves away.
It would be good to have it in writing
that there was always access to the pond or whatever.
The rules are gonna be whatever we decide, the rules are.
Like I feel bad in a way
because I was talking sort of behind your back with this
and there was leakage and there was spillover,
but by the time it came up with the pond
it was such ancient history. I was like,
I guess I feel different.
I don't, I guess I don't feel like that...
I don't know. There's a lot that I feel different about
but I definitely don't want to be like,
well, you can say your piece,
but so I'm gonna like go back at you.
I don't, I'm not gonna do that.
I want to, like be in a place where I'm like hearing
-what you're saying, -And you want,
you have something, you want to say about the original Lehi situation
or...
I, to be honest with you, I'm feeling a wall, right now.
So let's just sit for a minute because I don't want that, you don't need that wall.
Like, I just feel like there's the,
coming at me of what I did wrong.
I put a guard around myself
like,
this is just kind of what I do
and this is something that I'm really trying not to do
and I get very defensive
because I don't want to be hurt.
I kind of tend to always feel like I've done something wrong
and so with this conversation about the pond,
you know, it's, it's like
all these things coming up again and I don't...
I don't want to feel it, and I want to feel like that we're passed that.
No, I just was expressing where I felt.
I know and I get that.
I think, it's just a natural defensiveness that
I feel or,
I think all humans do at some point.
So my problem was I never wanted to rock the boat and you...
I think maybe you always
wanted to take things really to heart.
Yeah, I never knew where you stood.
Like when you came into the picture, I was like,
I thought that it would be something completely different.
I had hoped that it would be something completely different
just based on the relationships
that I had had with people prior.
Um, you know, with Kody
and other people and it was
so not, until like,
for me, I took that as like...
complete rejection.
- Hmm, see, and I felt the same from you. - Yeah.
You know when Janelle, when Janelle came in
to the picture, I mean Janelle was in my picture
before I even knew Kody.
But when you know, it came to
her joining the family,
I really thought that our relationship was going to be different.
I did. I kind of felt rejected by her because I felt like,
that I was doing things
to kind of promote this friendship between the two of us
and she wasn't
taking them and accepting them,
and so I felt rejected.
I can remember
trying to make all these little overtures in the beginning
and you just wouldn't respond.
Maybe I had already, we'd already
created hard feelings by that point.
-I don't know. I don't know. -I don't even know.
I actually knew Meri, for a long time
and I knew Meri and Kody as a married couple.
Just the fact, that I was going to come into the family
and I did come into the family,
changed the dynamic so much that the friendship was,
the friendship as it had existed was irretrievable really.
And we just never could forge a new friendship.
I think for me it was just more,
I had never dealt with someone who was so forceful,
it shut me down.
I don't even know how to interact with somebody
who just was so direct and so brutally honest.
Like, I just didn't know how to deal with that.
It was too harsh for me.
If it makes you feel better, I don't remember a lot about those years.
I don't, I don't really remember
there's a few things that stick out
that kind of came up with the pond because I was so,
overwhelmed emotionally, I had all these little kids.
I didn't have all the kids in my care.
- Unfortunately, I wasn't blessed that way... - Yeah, right.
but I was blessed to have you and your kids and I
took them on a lot.
You know, you're a young wife, you're a young mom,
you're a young sister-wife, you know,
and you're trying to figure things out,
fast-forward five or 10 or 15 or 30 years
and you look back at yourself and you're like,
no, that wasn't the best that I could have done.
But then you have to like give yourself grace.
I mean I'm not perfect,
I'm not gonna profess to be, but
I don't think anybody is
and I don't think anybody should be expected to be...
- No, I agree. - to be honest with you.
But I just feel like, what do we do now
because we have this history and then like,
it's molded us good or bad, take it or leave it
and it's what we are and now, what do we do with it?
I'm looking like, we're 50, Meri,
- like we have 50 more years probably. - Yeah,
- I want to move forward in a meaningful way. - Yeah.
And I don't know how the relationships pan out,
but I don't know because there's,
I don't know,
like, I don't know,
but I think we can all,
you know, I don't want to say
I don't know how the relationships pan out.
I'm just gonna visualize it that we're all five a functioning team.
I don't see it any other way.
For me, it was just really about
free access to the pond for everybody.
- Which I... - I think we're in agreement.
[Meri] To me, the pond is the pond, you know.
It wasn't about me having a house by the pond
and having complete control over the pond.
I don't look at it that way.
I don't look at it, that way at all.
So, I think we have come a long way
but, it just is going to take some time, you know.
We have a long time though.
I mean you're kind of stuck with me for
as long as you want to be stuck with me.
- That was my plan. - Okay.
-So, -I'm not going anywhere, either.
I mean, you know, relationships are, they ebb and they flow like, you know,
but I'm not really planning on ever going anywhere.
Yeah.
I think this is a start.
Oh, my gosh, I think it's a good step
and I think, this is good effort for Janelle and I
to be kind of working through some of our issues, you know,
because not everybody in the family is willing to work through issues.
It's not any secret that my relationship with Kody
is not how I would like it to be,
but I'm here, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not an idiot,
you know, and I can get a vibe if somebody wants to work on things or not.
And for me, I'm just gonna just be here
and I'll work on the relationships
as I can and as we work on individual ones,
it will just kind of help the whole.
[Janelle] You know, I've been very frustrated,
'cause I feel like we haven't prioritized
getting on the property like we should have,
We're doing five water tanks.
Yeah, we'll do one for each house.
- There's five houses. - Yes, there's five lots.
There will be five houses.
Every time I talk about some investment that we can make
they poo-poo me, they fight with me, I want a rental.
I think that's fair.
I need a house.
Like let's build our own houses first.
How about that?
[Kody] So, it's been two years since we bought the property.
So we've been really slow going on this project.
Look at the big tractor.
See that thing, they were digging all last night.
[Janelle] Where are they gonna put the tank?
Over on the road next to the road going up the hill.
So far we've not developed the property at all.
We've been basically going through hashing it out on who gets what property?
Hey, Sol, you're not in school, huh?
I didn't want the school to get in the way of his education.
Yeah.
[Janelle] So, I just had a conversation with Meri,
I feel like it was a very nice
preview of what any of the conversations
that we have in the future could look like.
Like I just think, this was really constructive today.
I want him to see the holes. Come on.
[Janelle] I've been very frustrated,
'cause I feel like we haven't prioritized
getting on the property like we should have.
This has been kind of frustrating to me
how slow this has gone.
You want to come out and help me peel these logs.
You don't.
We're having a giant cistern delivered today.
A cistern is a tank that holds water and delivers it to your home.
It's gonna sit in the ground right there running this way.
- [Janelle] Okay. - It's huge, huh, Sol.
Do you want to jump in it?
- [Solomon] No, no, no. - Okay. Just teasing you.
This is a polygamist cistern. It's 20,000 gallons
Delivering water, that will go to each one of the homes.
It's a tiny step,
but it's really progress moving forward.
And maybe one of these days
we'll actually, get a house built and
start moving out onto Coyote Pass.
20,000 gallons, right? Yeah.
Well, that's 20,000 gallons to feed
each one of ours, which is going to be five times five.
We're doing five water tanks?
Yeah, we'll do one for each house.
There's five houses?
Yes, there's five lots. There will be five houses.
You're gonna have your own house?
- There's five lots. - Okay.
I mean, we got enough, enough visiting kids that we,
we might need a guesthouse.
- I don't know. - Okay.
My wives are just funny, this way.
Every time I talk about some investment that we can make
that will actually, create an income for us that will,
will actually become an asset,
they poo-poo me, they fight with me,
they argue with me, they want to know the details.
I want a rental.
I think that's fair.
- Okay. - We've discussed this.
I'm just teasing you. Gosh...
Okay, so, what Kody keeps talking about
is buying all these rental properties,
which won't really pay us any income for a lot of years
before I build my own house, to live in.
So, that's where we get really upset.
It's like, let's build our own houses first.
How about that?
Do you want to climb down in it?
I'll just let you down in it, and I'll help you back out.
Okay, as the mother who is here, would his mother
- want him to do this? - It will be fine here.
-No, gosh, Kody. -Come here. I'll show you, Sol.
Come over here. All right, so...
[Janelle] I know Robyn, and I know Robyn's a big worrier,
probably bigger than I am.
And I'm like, "Dude, I have to represent Robyn here."
- Come over here. - This is terrifying.
- Are you sure it's okay? - It's terrifying.
It's a giant hole. And a little boy.
What... what better magic is there?
Robyn's preference is that I'm always playing...
He's going to be fine.
It's just fun to get in holes. Big, big dirt holes.
It's almost like walking through a cave?
All right, just make big, big steps or little step...
Go low to the ground. He's gotta go low to the ground.
[Kody] How does it look down there?
Well, I mean, is it like deep? Are you amazed at its size?
It's actually pretty big.
I guess I hadn't thought about how big 20,000 was.
Look, Sol, there it is. Look at that. Look at that.
- Oh, my, that's humongous. - Look at that tank.
I have no idea, how many gallons 20,000 gallons is.
I know what a gallon of milk looks like
and I guess 20,000 of those lined up.
But I don't know how many of those, I would use to take a shower.
I have no idea.
[Robyn] Yeah, so, the 20,000-gallon cistern seems like a lot.
It depends on who's taking the shower.
If it's Kody taking a shower it's not a lot of showers.
Kody takes really long showers.
[Janelle] This is actually, a big step.
We cannot build, until we have our infrastructure built.
We can now hook our pipes up to this big thing and get water.
So that's a really big step. You have raw land.
So I have... we have no sewer,
we have no water, we have no power.
This is a really big step putting the water in on this land.
[Kody] This is the beginning of our development of the property,
right here.
[Christine] All right, Ysabel, here we are.
Yay!
Ysabel is really hurt that Kody is not here.
Okay, then bend forward.
Good.
I need him there
and he's not putting his daughter above the fear that he has of the pandemic.
So here's the rib coming up like this.
I feel like a good mom today.
[Christine] Once we got to New Jersey,
we had to quarantine for two weeks.
My sister lives like an hour away from the surgery center.
So we're going to quarantine with her for two weeks
and she's agreed to follow,
and everything the hospital recommended us follow.
Well, the hospital insisted us follow.
All right, Ysabel, here we are.
Yay!
[Christine] We're meeting Dr. Antonacci for the first time.
- Uh-huh. - What do you think?
I'm pretty excited and I'm nervous.
I am worried and nervous about a big surgery like this.
- [knocking at door] - [Christine] Open the door.
But while I'm with Ysabel,
I'm gonna be as upbeat as possible.
That's her. Is that her?
[nurse] Yes we are putting up Ysabel's X-rays here,
that we just took at the hospital.
[Christine] Oh, good.
[nurse] But these are the blueprints for surgery.
[Christine] So these are the ones from yesterday?
[nurse] Yeah. These were taken at the hospital yesterday.
[Christine] When you see Ysabel you don't look at her and go,
oh, she has a curvy spine.
You can't tell, you can't tell.
It's really one of the hardest things to see is that X-ray.
Take a look at the hardware here.
[Christine] So, they have a model,
so we can see like the inside of the spine
what it looks like.
You're tall enough and your vertebrae are big enough
to put two chords side by side.
[Ysabel] Okay.
[Christine] The traditional surgery,
they have the patient lay on their stomach for the surgery.
They cut open the back, open it up
and then take rods and screw it into the spine
to straighten the spine.
That's the traditional scoliosis surgery.
With Ysabel's, they're going in through the side,
so then, they take these fibers
and then they attach the fiber with screws to the spine.
And then they tighten it up using the screws
and the fibers themselves straighten the spine.
And it's less of an invasive surgery
because it's just accessing through the side
versus opening up the whole back.
Okay, bend forward.
Good. So here's the rib coming up like this.
Your scantel is a little loose here.
You can see it's riding right over the ridge of the elevated rib cage.
Now, if I crunch you over this way
and really crunch it, crunch it,
you can see, that goes down pretty well.
It's heartbreaking. The first time I saw her curve
was heartbreaking when I showed it to all the parents.
What her curve looks like.
It's hard. It's hard to see an X-ray like that on your kid.
It's real hard.
And so the goal for tomorrow,
since you're pretty mature bone wise...
[Ysabel] Right.
that we should be able to get this to around ten degrees.
[Ysabel] Awesome.
Yeah, ten degrees.
I don't even know what that looks like.
That's gonna be an X-ray. I want to see though for sure.
That would be a great X-ray to see.
Tomorrow's the surgery.
So, you just want to get a good night's sleep tonight.
Awesome!
- Don't overeat tonight, just stay light. - Right.
For the first few days after surgery,
you're going to be on a lot of pain medicines.
This has been a long time coming and I'm just so excited
that we can do this for her.
But of course, I'm concerned it's a major, major surgery.
But I'm just really, I'm just mostly excited.
- [Christine] How are you doing? - I'm doing really good.
I'm excited that they explained a little bit better
because I was having a little like
just anxiety about it, just because the surgery
and I was still a little confused.
But he explained it great
and everything's cleared up and I'm so excited.
Ysabel's really hurt that Kody's not here.
She's really hurt.
So Ysabel's surgery,
so, if we have to have insurance for the surgery.
When do they want to schedule it?
[Christine] I think September.
[Kody] Does it hurt us to wait six months?
[Christine] She's in constant pain.
You can't come the whole time.
Listen, I'm not flying there.
[Ysabel] I think I'm a little upset that he can't go
because he's always talking about how like family comes first.
But when it comes down to it, like
I need him there
and he's not putting his daughter above the fear that he has of the pandemic.
I'm trying to do what's right for Ysabel.
I understand,
but we have to do what's right for the whole family,
not just what Ysabel needs.
[Christine] It's been so hard
and it's taken so long.
It's taken so long, to give her the help that she needs
and it's tomorrow.
I'll feel like a good mom tomorrow.
Not that I don't, but just...
I'll finally be able to give her what I wanted to.
[Kody] Next time on Sister Wives...
We flew to New Jersey for Ysabel's scoliosis surgery.
That Kody is not here. It's ripping her apart.
[Ysabel] Daddy.
[Christine] Yeah, I'll call Daddy, right now.
[Christine] I... I know, honey.
So I just wish we could circle around Izzy and Christine.
It makes me realize that in plural marriage
I don't matter. You do you.
I'm going to do me.
I am not the head of this family.
And that's not the deal we made when we got married.
If I quit, it's not going to get better.
It's lonely. Like I live alone.
[Christine] Everything's got to get better.
It can only get better, honestly.
[bleep]
[Kody] COVID has revealed us
and we are sad, sorry, lonely little people.