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[narrator] Previously
on Sister Wives...
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Honestly, I'm at a point now
where I see the family
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as an obstacle to my own goals.
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The five of us are not happy.
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So far, we haven't really
handled COVID as a team.
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I'm about ready to
psychologically lose it.
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We have spent our whole
family life trying
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to build a one-family culture,
and this could tear that apart.
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I don't feel like
I'm very important to him.
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Like, it's taking all of
my self-control to just stay.
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That's ridiculous.
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Next time I see Kody,
I'm gonna tell him
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I freakin' want to move back
to Utah
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even though the girls
don't want to.
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One, two, three, four wives
said, "No, we're never
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moving back to Utah."
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I am in the depths
of frustration.
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I am in polygamy hell.
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Hi, guys, um, me and my dad
are going to take
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um, junk to the junk field.
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- [car beeps]
- Landfill.
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[Kody] To the land fill, huh?
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You know, I'm at
Robyn's house, right now,
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I'm trying to keep Solomon from
being just in the house all the time.
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And he's been kind of excited about
making his own home videos lately.
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So I just told him, "hey,
let's go make one together
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and we'll haul the garbage
off to the landfill."
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So, we're gonna,
um, go the landfill...
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[Kody] But first,
we have to fill it up.
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So get your camera against here.
See how much junk we got? Lift.
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So, Solomon's
just eight years old,
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Um, he is four years older
than Ariella Mae.
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And him and Ari
are my youngest children.
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You know, he's a good kid...
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We're just going to throw away.
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[Kody] Carry it in.
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He's learning to read,
and he likes mathematics.
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[Solomon] Oh, crap,
you gotta be kidding me.
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[Kody] It's rodent guts.
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The first thing you think
with a dead rat or a mouse
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is like, disease. [chuckles]
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Let's get this packed in and
get it thrown into the landfill.
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Like this. Oh, missed.
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Whoa. We really jacked up
our camera. Whoa. Whoa.
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I think that Sol is bored
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with the fact that he's not,
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um, getting exposure
to the family.
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He's not really that expressive.
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So I don't really know
how this is affecting him.
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Whoo.
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Alrighty.
Good job, Sol, so high-five.
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- [Solomon] Something stinks, is that it?
- Yeah, rodent guts stink.
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But the strange thing is,
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is both Robyn and I
have been concerned
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not just about Solomon,
but about all of the kids
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on their, sort of, lack of
social life...
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So, as hard as COVID is
for all the adults,
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I think the kids, it's
really harder for the kids.
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[giggling]
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[Kody] Our family's
been struggling
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not just with communication
but really with COVID.
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Janelle's been on this
sort of theme
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about how we're going to
communicate more and
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we gotta figure our
relationships out.
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[Janelle] I am very worried
about the long term
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effects that this
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months or however long
this is gonna be.
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[Kody] It's not a breakdown
in communication,
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it's a breakdown on agreement
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on how we're supposed to
have our family
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behave during COVID-19.
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Each household has a
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different view. I'm struggling
to get everybody to agree
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with my view.
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If I settle down
at Robyn's house,
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and I start enjoying myself,
and I've been there for a week,
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I start feeling guilty because
I'm not at the other house,
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I'm not seeing my other wife.
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It's making it so that I can't
enjoy my time
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with Robyn because
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I'm not seeing
my other wives and children.
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It's been really hard
to get centered
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and present.
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How much of this can we endure?
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'Cause if we keep doing this, we
won't even be having Christmas together.
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[call ringing]
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- [Christine] Hi.
- [Kody] Hi. I'll just meet you in the back.
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- Does that work? On the porch?
- [Christine] That sounds great, yeah.
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- [Kody] Okay.
- [Christine] Okay.
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I call Christine
from the driveway
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'cause I want to sit down
and visit with the kids,
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visit with her. I had to make
sure that everybody was--
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Comes outside.
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You know, 'cause I'm not
going into the house right now.
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'Cause they've been travelling
so they've had exposure
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and we're still trying to
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minimize the amount
of exposure that we have
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to me going from house to house.
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In the beginning,
I really asked everybody
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to not travel,
to not go anywhere,
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to not do anything so that
I could see the kids
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and it's just been something
that Christine hasn't wanted to do.
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She doesn't want to stay home.
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[Christine] Last week we were
out of town, visiting my kids in Utah.
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I mean, there's a fine line
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that I walk
all the time with COVID.
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I know he would rather us
just stay home all the time.
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But yeah, that's not going to
happen, I have other kids to go see.
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- Hi, sweetie.
- Hey.
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- Hello, Dad.
- How's it going?
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- Good, how are you?
- [Kody] There is nothing
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normal about being at home
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all the time with COVID-19.
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But Christine
is continuing to travel
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and she's chosen
a different lifestyle
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rather than a full-fledged
relationship with me.
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It makes me feel like
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the loser that nobody wants
to be around.
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Okay. So, Ysabel's surgery,
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so if we had to have insurance
for the surgery,
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it took us five months to get
insurance-- six months to get insurance.
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Ysabel was diagnosed with
scoliosis when she was like 13.
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Scoliosis is an abnormal
curvature of the spine.
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We've been trying to
wait to do surgery
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as long as possible.
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To give Ysabel as much
of a teenage life that we can.
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We did exercises
in the beginning
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but we found out that the
curve was pretty aggressive.
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So, we got Ysabel's X-rays
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in January, 'cause she started
talking about her back
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hurting her a lot more.
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And her curve
is over 50 degrees now.
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So it's just time
to get the surgery.
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When do they
want to schedule it?
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I think September
is what we're looking at.
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It's in New Jersey, were-- and
you were going to stay with...
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-[Christine] With my sister, yeah.
-With...
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We have to be in New Jersey
on a Monday.
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And then she'll get the
surgery Wednesday or Thursday
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and then we'll stay
for 10 days after that.
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So they can monitor Ysabel.
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I don't f-- Why don't we
put it out six months?
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Because of the pandemic.
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'Cause of her pain level, Kody.
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Well, but the-- we're talking
about New Jersey which is
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New York, basically.
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There's a pandemic going on
and New York was the hotspot.
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And we have been safe
the entire time here.
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Kody, that's
absolute bull [bleep].
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Arizona is a hotspot now,
what do you mean?
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Yeah, but we don't leave our
home and go all over Arizona.
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I know that getting a surgery
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during a pandemic isn't smart,
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I know that, I'm not stupid
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but she's in enough pain
and I can't wait more.
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I cannot wait more.
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- She's in constant pain.
- [Kody] Geez.
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So I understand, there's
a pandemic going on
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but, why don't I call them
and just say, "hey,
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what is it like there? What's
the situation with COVID?
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Are there a lot of cases in
the hospital where you are?"
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That's only half the equation.
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It's travelling there,
it's the time there,
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it's the exposure,
it's constant exposure.
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You can't come
the whole time because...
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Listen, I'm not flying there.
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This is the thing,
you guys, I'm not
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going to New York.
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All right, so I think that you
should wait for the surgery.
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I'm trying to assess
what's really changed
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from six months ago
or a year ago,
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why right now,
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why do we have to go right now,
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why can't we wait
a little bit longer,
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I mean, this has been--
We've been fighting with this.
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We've been struggling
with this for five years.
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And I'm frustrated by that
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because this is just
falling with the actions
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that's she's done all along.
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Not being concerned
whether or not we're spreading
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the virus, or getting the virus.
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She's just not being concerned.
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I think there's some things
that you can put off,
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but this isn't something
that we can put off more.
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She's in pain.
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Ysabel's pain level has been,
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they always have this scale
between zero and 10,
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she's been living
between an eight and nine.
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She's in that much pain.
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I've never had the kind
of pain that she has,
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except in childbirth,
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natural childbirth.
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That was it.
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Does it hurt us
to wait six months?
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I think it can only get worse.
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So why do we
keep putting it off?
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You think the pandemic's
just going to get worse?
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No, like, my pain,
like, scoliosis.
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And then the pandemic
might just only get worse
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and we don't know,
so why do we keep
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waiting when it might
just get worse?
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We're not waiting six months
to get the surgery.
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We're not waiting
another six months.
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I am with her every single day.
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And I see her in pain,
every single day
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and it's already nine months
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past the time when she told me
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she couldn't take it any more.
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People are making
an effort to mitigate
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this and I-- we--
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Why right now? I mean,
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let's let COVID pass and
then we can all go together.
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I need to be there
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and I don't know
why they can't wait.
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I don't think that
this is a selfish move,
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doing this surgery.
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I think we have to
do this surgery.
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No, no, the surgery needs
to be done, I understand that.
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I don't have a problem
with doing the surgery.
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I just have a problem
with putting us all at risk
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and other people at risk with us
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travelling to do the surgery
during this pandemic.
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That's an issue to the
whole family. We've been...
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It's like, you have to
respect people's--
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Where people are on this.
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I mean, here's the thing,
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is, if we're going
in September for the surgery,
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I don't think
I'm going to be going.
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I'm not going to travel to--
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I'm not going to go there, okay?
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Gosh.
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I'm trying to do
what's right for Ysabel.
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I understand.
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But we have to do what's right
for the whole family.
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Not just what Ysabel needs.
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We can pretend
that there's no pandemic
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[Christine] I'm not pretending.
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-Well...
-[Christine] I'm not pretending.
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They wouldn't have the surgery
or give us the surgery
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if they thought it was unsafe.
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I understand this is really
important to you, Ysabel.
246
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,739
What do we do?
247
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,241
If you're going to go
do the surgery,
248
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,243
what are we going to do?
249
00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:21,212
Do we send Ysabel by herself?
250
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:24,849
Did he really just say that?
251
00:11:26,318 --> 00:11:27,819
He suggested her to go by her--
252
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,359
So before I go irate
and lose my mind
253
00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:38,997
at his ridiculous,
stupid suggestion,
254
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:42,100
I'm just going to assume
it's the Kody rollercoaster
255
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,738
and he's going to realize how
stupid that is
256
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:48,773
before I really have to
respond that much.
257
00:11:57,783 --> 00:11:59,217
[Kody] Christine and I
are having a discussion
258
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:01,820
with Ysabel about her
having her scoliosis surgery
259
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,988
in New Jersey.
Maybe we should wait until
260
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,624
the pandemic is over
before we do the surgery.
261
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,660
Ysabel, if you can
it in September,
262
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,529
and had to do it by yourself,
263
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,231
with just Wendy
taking care of you...
264
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:14,933
-[Christine] It wouldn't happen.
-[Kody] Or just--
265
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,068
Or wait six months
266
00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:18,937
and be able
to have me and Mom go.
267
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:21,406
I don't know.
268
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,411
It's not that
you're not important
269
00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:29,214
- and I'm not... It's not, you're not important.
- [Kody] It's really...
270
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,316
it's really-- It's not--
It's not...
271
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,817
[Christine]
What are you feeling?
272
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,352
God, I know.
273
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:44,262
[Christine] No you're
not. 100%. 100%.
274
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,297
I'm going with you.
275
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:48,900
I'm going with you
to the surgery.
276
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:51,202
You're not going by
yourself. That's not an option.
277
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,973
- I wouldn't do that to you.
- [sniffles] Okay.
278
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,574
I would never, okay?
279
00:12:57,743 --> 00:12:59,344
I'd never, ever do that.
280
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,149
It's not that I don't want you
to have the surgery.
281
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,817
I want you to have the surgery
as soon as possible.
282
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:06,985
I know. I know. I know.
283
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:13,558
All that was...
284
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,995
I shouldn't have said that.
285
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,934
I'm having
a really difficult time
286
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:25,470
getting around what Ysabel needs
287
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,872
because of the loudness
of what Christine needs,
288
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,641
which is all emotional needs
289
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:32,744
that she's been expressing
through this whole pandemic.
290
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:36,347
So, I need to separate Christine
291
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:38,249
from Ysabel
292
00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:42,420
in the decision
to go have the surgery.
293
00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:45,423
Honestly, it's just
because I feel bad
294
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,058
that I'm not going
to be able to go.
295
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,429
[Ysabel] Sure,
we can wait. [sniffles]
296
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,069
[sniffles] Unless it does.
297
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:02,707
How long do you want me to wait?
298
00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:09,447
Am I?
299
00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:11,015
- [Christine] Whatever. You--
- I'm not great.
300
00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:12,884
- Okay.
- ...not needed any more.
301
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,385
- You're fine.
- Okay.
302
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:22,627
I was supposed to be there
with her for the surgery,
303
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,028
to be the person she leaned on,
304
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,064
the person
that she got strength from.
305
00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:28,633
And the challenging part
of it is
306
00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:31,536
Christine and I aren't
getting along on things.
307
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:33,238
And, so...
308
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:35,707
it's hard for me not
to see it as an opportunity
309
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,242
for Christine
to do it without me.
310
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,612
All right. Let's...
311
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,381
[Christine] This is
not a vacation.
312
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:45,183
This is a medical procedure.
313
00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:47,919
And I think medical procedures
have to happen.
314
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,854
And her surgery has to happen.
315
00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:53,858
There's some things
that we can put off.
316
00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:58,096
But we can't stop everything.
317
00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:00,164
And this is one
of those things we can't stop.
318
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,638
- Okay.
- Okay.
319
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:10,141
- All right. I'm gonna run.
- Okay.
320
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:12,710
As soon as they're willing
to set the appointment,
321
00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:14,646
I would set the appointment.
322
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,314
- I will.
- Okay. See ya.
323
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,615
Okay. Bye.
324
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:31,329
I don't understand
how he cannot know
325
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,931
how much pain she is in.
326
00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:38,436
I'm getting so frus-- anyway.
327
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:41,272
Maybe if he was around more,
he'd see this more.
328
00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:42,840
[softly] God! Just...
329
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:44,943
whatever.
330
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:49,914
[Kody] I don't want
Ysabel to feel
331
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:51,282
like I don't want her
to have the surgery.
332
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:52,817
I don't want her
to feel any guilt.
333
00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:54,285
I don't want her
to have any sadness
334
00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,486
from me not being there.
335
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,221
I just want her
to know I love her.
336
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:59,223
And that I want
the best for her.
337
00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:11,169
[Christine] Hey,
sweetheart. [sniffles]
338
00:16:12,671 --> 00:16:13,871
That was...
339
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:17,508
awful.
340
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:26,317
[Kody] It's just been
a challenge.
341
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,720
Ever since we moved
to Flagstaff.
342
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,822
With Christine's attitude
towards me,
343
00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:32,490
towards the rest of the family,
344
00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:35,526
we're existing
in an alternate reality,
345
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,895
it feels like.
Everything is upside down.
346
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,602
The struggles
of plural marriage make me
347
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:47,071
just think that
it's a waste of time.
348
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:50,141
So, in five months,
you've hardly been here.
349
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:52,944
I'm just worried about my sanity
350
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:54,712
and our relationship.
351
00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:56,748
We have embarked
on an experiment
352
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,316
that is a failure.
353
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,527
[Kody] Polygamy is
seriously complicated.
354
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:13,197
I mean, you take
any relationship
355
00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:15,033
between two people.
356
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,801
Now we add polygamy on to it.
357
00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:18,669
Okay. Well, we were doing okay.
358
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,172
Then you add living
a little further apart,
359
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,608
and then you add in COVID-19.
360
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:28,746
I don't know what's happened
to the monogamous out there,
361
00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:32,183
but this is really causing
some problems for my family.
362
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,020
This is what I want
to say to my wives.
363
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,022
It'll just be
a few more weeks, okay?
364
00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:40,291
So, why can't you stay home
365
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,826
so that I can be home?
366
00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:45,096
We really are in a place
367
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:48,533
where... where we go one,
we go all.
368
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,502
If we won't all be
in that place,
369
00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:53,104
we can't be a family any more.
370
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:56,407
We can't exist
living like a family any more.
371
00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,243
- [Kody] Hi.
- [Janelle] Hi.
372
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:00,711
I'm glad you came by.
I wanted to look
373
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,046
at a calendar with you.
374
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,848
I've got some traveling
I need to do
375
00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,583
to help Maddie this summer.
376
00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:08,786
My travel will affect
our ability to be
377
00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:10,021
in the same house together.
378
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:11,823
Or whatever. Affect the family.
379
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:12,990
You're going out, right?
380
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,992
- You're going out of town?
- I need to go help Maddie
381
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,994
with the kids.
382
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,030
So, we'll overlap.
So you won't be able
383
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,032
to be here
'cause the boys just got home.
384
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:24,001
Madison told me that
the surgery is the 20th.
385
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:24,902
August.
386
00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:26,537
My granddaughter Evie was born
387
00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:29,740
with a syndrome called FATCO.
It's very rare.
388
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,510
And it basically means
that she's missing
389
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,246
several bones.
She still functions normally.
390
00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:37,448
Mentally she's great.
Physically she's great.
391
00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:39,183
She just is missing a few bones.
392
00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:44,088
- [Caleb] All right.
- [indistinct conversation]
393
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,356
[Caleb] All right. You ready?
394
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,758
[Caleb] This is
your granddaughter.
395
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,760
[Kody] Aw, look
at that wide-eyed little baby.
396
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,130
[Janelle] She has
one leg that's six
397
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:53,831
or seven inches shorter.
398
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:55,600
I can't remember.
399
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,702
So, they're getting it ready
for a prosthetic,
400
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,203
so that she'll be able to walk.
401
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,872
'Cause there's such a difference
402
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,340
in the size of her limbs.
403
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:07,345
[Kody] Hey, it's going to be
a month before I'm over here.
404
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,114
Maybe longer, because
of how long she'll be gone,
405
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,316
and then quarantining
when she gets back.
406
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:14,418
I'm going, "Well,
are you going to come back,
407
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,654
and blame me
for not being around?"
408
00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:18,222
This isn't a good idea.
409
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,324
I debated asking if you
wanted to come with me
410
00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:22,093
on these trips, but I don't
know how you would.
411
00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:23,628
It's not happening.
I'm just not going
412
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:24,996
- to be able to travel.
- No, right.
413
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,197
'Cause you have
too many other people
414
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:27,965
that you interact with.
415
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:33,271
[sighs] So, yeah. I think
most of July is out for us.
416
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,041
I'm feeling a little emotional
about it today.
417
00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:38,075
[Kody sighs]
418
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,778
The implications hit me
a little bit.
419
00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:42,413
The idea that I'm not
going to see Kody
420
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:44,649
for two months, really.
421
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,417
You know, I will miss Kody.
422
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,619
So, in five months,
you've hardly been here
423
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,055
just because of the way
schedules have overlapped.
424
00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:52,089
But...
425
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:57,428
there's been nothing else
to do about it.
426
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:01,766
Yeah.
427
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,237
Um, okay.
428
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:09,307
I can't think about it.
I just have to go day-by-day.
429
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:12,143
I just don't want to pick
a fight with Janelle here.
430
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:13,578
'Cause I know she's going to go,
431
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:15,613
but I wish she wasn't.
432
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:19,250
And that's like...
five months, six months.
433
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:21,252
We've done worse.
434
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:23,221
I mean, I don't feel...
435
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:25,723
like we're in trouble.
436
00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:27,291
With this happening,
437
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,228
we've done worse,
but we're not as busy.
438
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:32,697
I really think that it's just
made us more aware.
439
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,098
There's nothing else going on.
440
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:35,466
We're going "Well,
why aren't we getting together
441
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,934
as a family?"
442
00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:37,902
You know, maybe, if anything,
443
00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:39,637
it's helped us see what we want.
444
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,806
Before COVID, they weren't
445
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,741
getting together
to see each other.
446
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:45,243
There's this weird thing
that happened
447
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:47,211
when we got in Flagstaff.
It wasn't like we were
448
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,046
spending all
that much time together.
449
00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:51,315
I just miss our flow, Kody.
450
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,452
I just miss... you and me
and our flow.
451
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:59,156
I'm just worried about my sanity
452
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,925
and our relationship.
453
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,527
I think we're fine.
454
00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:04,528
- Today I'm feeling like--
- I think it's--
455
00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,863
Because I'm looking
456
00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:06,964
- and I'm like "Well, it's a month.
- It's a little boring."
457
00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:09,700
It's a month. It's a month.
458
00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:12,603
I think I'm kinda overwhelmed
by how much time
459
00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:15,106
I will be apart from him
this summer.
460
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:18,042
So, we have the 2nd
to the 19th of August.
461
00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:19,977
Then you'll be gone
for how long? For--
462
00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:20,978
Probably a week.
463
00:21:21,079 --> 00:21:23,648
- Evie's operation and--
- Probably a week.
464
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:24,915
[Kody] If I expressed to Janelle
465
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,450
how I feel right now,
466
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,786
I think
it'll just spoil her fun.
467
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:30,821
I need her to be able
to go and do this
468
00:21:30,922 --> 00:21:32,256
for Madison,
469
00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:34,292
be with the grandkids,
470
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:37,495
and really have
an enjoyable experience.
471
00:21:37,596 --> 00:21:40,264
And me sour-graping
about it isn't
472
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,632
going to help her at all.
473
00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:44,535
This is where I need you to say
474
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:45,870
"I love you,
and this doesn't matter,
475
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,305
and we'll get through this."
476
00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:48,906
I'm just gonna tell you
477
00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:50,441
what I need to hear from you.
478
00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:52,610
Okay. [laughs] I'm sorry.
Well, we're gonna survive.
479
00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:55,413
We'll be okay. I love you,
and I miss you.
480
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:56,380
And we'll be all right.
481
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,049
We've done harder
than this before.
482
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,051
- We have done a lot harder.
- As long as it doesn't last
483
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,653
a lot longer,
and we're still able to,
484
00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:04,655
you know, the distance.
I mean, this is going to be
485
00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:06,891
the longest stint that
we've had apart so far.
486
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:09,026
You will be fine, sweetheart.
487
00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,294
We'll rekindle our romance
488
00:22:10,429 --> 00:22:12,563
- when we get back.
- [Janelle laughs]
489
00:22:13,298 --> 00:22:15,733
- Our raging romance.
- Yeah.
490
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,401
- All right?
- All right.
491
00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:25,876
I have really cynical dark days.
492
00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:29,046
The struggles
of plural marriage make me
493
00:22:29,147 --> 00:22:31,082
just think that
it's a waste of time,
494
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,284
that we have... we have embarked
495
00:22:33,385 --> 00:22:35,619
on an experiment
that is a failure.
496
00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:40,257
And the COVID has
kind of punctuated that.
497
00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:41,659
And I'm just wondering
498
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,161
how long our family can
survive this.
499
00:22:44,262 --> 00:22:46,897
How much of this
can we go through?
500
00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:48,632
- All right.
- All right.
501
00:22:48,734 --> 00:22:50,968
- [chuckles] Well, see ya.
- Bye.
502
00:22:52,237 --> 00:22:53,437
[Janelle] All right. See you.
503
00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:58,709
[Christine] So, I'm going
to talk to Kody
504
00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:01,145
and my sister-wives
about us moving
505
00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:02,446
back to Utah.
506
00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:05,616
Oh, my gosh!
We can move back home.
507
00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:08,119
[Janelle] There's nothing
for me in Utah.
508
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:11,722
So, the idea of giving this up
is making me sort of...
509
00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:13,290
my gut reaction is anger.
510
00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:31,208
[Christine] So, today,
I'm going to talk
511
00:23:31,309 --> 00:23:34,145
to Kody and my sister-wives
512
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,914
about us moving back to Utah.
513
00:23:37,015 --> 00:23:38,349
I talked to Kody already
about it.
514
00:23:38,450 --> 00:23:39,617
It went great, I thought.
515
00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,185
And you know, at the end, I felt
516
00:23:41,286 --> 00:23:43,053
Yeah, really hopeful.
517
00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:44,855
So, I'm looking forward to going
518
00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:47,324
into this conversation
with everybody,
519
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,960
um, knowing that I've got
some support from Kody.
520
00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:51,796
It means a lot
when you go into it
521
00:23:51,897 --> 00:23:53,531
to have some support like that.
522
00:23:53,632 --> 00:23:54,532
[indistinct chatter]
523
00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:55,900
- Hello.
- Hi.
524
00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,235
[Janelle] I'm gonna
go get my chair.
525
00:23:58,336 --> 00:24:00,070
[Christine] I love that shirt.
526
00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:03,174
[Meri] Thank you. Every hour
should be happy hour.
527
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,409
That sounds like
a drinking game. [chuckles]
528
00:24:05,510 --> 00:24:07,511
[shouting] It's
because I am happy
529
00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:09,013
with my life!
530
00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:12,349
Oh, no! That sounds
like a drinking game.
531
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:15,553
My other favorite one says
"Beach, please."
532
00:24:15,654 --> 00:24:17,621
And it's so cute
walking through stores.
533
00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:20,324
All the old people are like,
"Oh, I wanna be at the beach!"
534
00:24:20,425 --> 00:24:22,493
I'm like, "You know that's not
what that means, right?"
535
00:24:22,594 --> 00:24:23,861
- [Christine] Yes.
- [Meri laughs]
536
00:24:24,429 --> 00:24:25,629
What's beach mean?
537
00:24:25,730 --> 00:24:26,864
Bitch, please!
538
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:28,699
I swear he doesn't get humor.
539
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,468
I don't know
what is wrong with him.
540
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,538
Hello! We're in the shade.
541
00:24:34,673 --> 00:24:36,707
[Robyn] Every time
I'm out here on the property,
542
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,809
I'm just reminded
of what our goals are.
543
00:24:38,910 --> 00:24:41,378
We want to get out here
on this property together.
544
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,780
Remember? [chuckles]
545
00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:44,815
[Janelle] I'm taking
this class right now.
546
00:24:44,916 --> 00:24:47,084
It talks about all
of our local plants.
547
00:24:47,185 --> 00:24:48,018
- [Robyn] Huh.
- And this weekend,
548
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,854
there's three days
of plant walks.
549
00:24:49,955 --> 00:24:51,121
- [Robyn] Seriously?
- Yeah.
550
00:24:51,223 --> 00:24:52,890
Christine had indicated
that she has something
551
00:24:52,991 --> 00:24:54,558
she wants to talk to us about.
552
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,060
So, she said she wasn't excited,
553
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:58,896
so I'm
a little bit apprehensive.
554
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:01,632
But the only way forward is
to move through.
555
00:25:01,733 --> 00:25:03,601
[Christine] Okay.
So, let's just start.
556
00:25:03,702 --> 00:25:06,504
So, when we went to the Dargers,
557
00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,807
and when we first saw them,
558
00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:11,475
I did almost cry. It's true.
559
00:25:11,576 --> 00:25:13,043
It was just so good
to see them again, you know?
560
00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:14,945
It was so good to see them.
561
00:25:15,046 --> 00:25:17,448
[Christine] Oh, my gosh.
This is totally different!
562
00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:19,283
- [woman] Well, hello.
- [laughing]
563
00:25:19,384 --> 00:25:21,418
Oh, hi, baby.
564
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,354
- [Joe] Good to see you.
- [Christine] Good to see you.
565
00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:26,223
- Gosh, you look good.
- You do, too.
566
00:25:26,324 --> 00:25:29,960
Joe married Alina
and Vicki forever ago.
567
00:25:30,061 --> 00:25:32,429
And then years and years later,
568
00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,532
Val was married. She got
a divorce from her husband,
569
00:25:34,633 --> 00:25:37,101
and she married Joe.
That's Vicki's sister.
570
00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:41,906
It took me by surprise
how normal I felt.
571
00:25:42,007 --> 00:25:44,408
I felt normal with them.
I guess it's, you know, why
572
00:25:44,509 --> 00:25:46,043
when you live
in a monogamous role
573
00:25:46,144 --> 00:25:49,346
I think it's a struggle
to feel normal, you know?
574
00:25:49,447 --> 00:25:52,082
It's hard to just
always be an oddity.
575
00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:53,984
You know? It's hard.
576
00:25:54,085 --> 00:25:56,654
There's always
this level of understanding
577
00:25:56,755 --> 00:25:58,188
that they don't have.
578
00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,791
Even we're contemplating
what we want to build
579
00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:02,560
for our final dream home.
580
00:26:02,661 --> 00:26:04,662
I want to design our house
where we have,
581
00:26:04,796 --> 00:26:06,764
still a central kitchen
that we all share,
582
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,133
but then each of these guys
583
00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:10,768
with their own little,
kind of apartment.
584
00:26:10,869 --> 00:26:11,702
And then more--
585
00:26:11,803 --> 00:26:13,737
And Joe wants,
actually, his bedroom.
586
00:26:13,838 --> 00:26:15,139
- [Joe] I want my own bedroom.
- He wants a bedroom.
587
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,340
[everyone exclaiming]
588
00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:18,108
- You want your own bedroom?
- I'm there.
589
00:26:18,209 --> 00:26:19,476
[indistinct chatter]
590
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,612
I am sick of going
to three closets.
591
00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:24,381
I'll never get that.
That'll never be allowed.
592
00:26:24,482 --> 00:26:27,651
[Christine] The difference
was so apparent
593
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:29,019
when we saw the Dargers.
594
00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:30,588
It was just so apparent
595
00:26:30,689 --> 00:26:33,457
that we needed to be around
more like-minded people.
596
00:26:33,558 --> 00:26:36,860
When Kody proposed moving
back in Vegas,
597
00:26:36,962 --> 00:26:39,730
I, at first, really wanted
to go to Utah, too.
598
00:26:39,831 --> 00:26:41,665
But then I thought, you know,
I really don't want that life.
599
00:26:41,733 --> 00:26:43,934
I really don't want
to be fighting all the time
600
00:26:44,035 --> 00:26:44,868
and feel like I've got
601
00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:46,337
some sword hanging over my head.
602
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:48,339
And, so, I was just too afraid.
603
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,374
I was too afraid
to move back to Utah.
604
00:26:50,475 --> 00:26:54,244
[sighs] And then SB102 happened.
605
00:26:54,346 --> 00:26:56,914
And polygamy got decriminalized.
606
00:26:57,649 --> 00:27:01,318
And I wonder why
we're still here.
607
00:27:01,419 --> 00:27:04,088
Okay. So, SB102 is
a bill that was
608
00:27:04,189 --> 00:27:07,758
um, introduced by a senator,
that basically said,
609
00:27:07,859 --> 00:27:09,660
"Let's make
polygamy decriminalized."
610
00:27:09,761 --> 00:27:13,497
Polygamy in Utah is
just like a speeding ticket.
611
00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:14,531
They're fine
612
00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:17,134
with plural families
legally there now.
613
00:27:17,235 --> 00:27:20,070
Oh, my gosh!
We can move back home.
614
00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:22,506
We can move back home.
615
00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:23,974
We can be by family again.
616
00:27:24,075 --> 00:27:27,011
We can be back home.
617
00:27:28,346 --> 00:27:29,747
I want to move back.
618
00:27:29,848 --> 00:27:32,049
I think we have
a beautiful property here.
619
00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:33,651
I'm not saying we don't.
620
00:27:33,752 --> 00:27:36,720
But we haven't done anything.
We've been here for two years.
621
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:39,089
And we haven't
really done anything.
622
00:27:39,190 --> 00:27:42,626
Isn't it obvious that
we're not gonna build
623
00:27:42,727 --> 00:27:44,995
on the property
to anyone but me?
624
00:27:45,096 --> 00:27:46,964
Are you thinking because
we haven't developed yet,
625
00:27:47,065 --> 00:27:48,766
that there's no destiny
in us being here,
626
00:27:48,867 --> 00:27:51,268
and thus we should
be moving to Utah?
627
00:27:52,103 --> 00:27:53,570
We're not doing anything.
628
00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:55,405
I just feel like
if we really were going
629
00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:57,474
to do stuff on the property,
630
00:27:57,575 --> 00:28:00,878
it wouldn't have taken
two years to do nothing.
631
00:28:02,881 --> 00:28:05,649
Nothing's happened, so...
632
00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:08,118
I think the universe is just
saying something here too.
633
00:28:08,219 --> 00:28:10,387
Maybe the angels are singing,
"Oh, my gosh!
634
00:28:10,488 --> 00:28:12,556
The law's changed in Utah."
635
00:28:12,657 --> 00:28:15,359
Let's move back, 'cause we
haven't done a thing, you know...
636
00:28:16,961 --> 00:28:18,028
[quietly] Yeah.
637
00:28:18,129 --> 00:28:22,900
I'm proposing
that we not develop this land,
638
00:28:23,001 --> 00:28:24,535
even though
it's wonderful and magical.
639
00:28:24,636 --> 00:28:26,937
And you guys have been
dreaming on this land for a long time,
640
00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:28,172
I haven't.
641
00:28:28,273 --> 00:28:30,007
I immediately stopped
642
00:28:30,108 --> 00:28:33,544
because I started dreaming
about Utah and going back.
643
00:28:33,645 --> 00:28:37,581
And I'm gonna be honest, I would've
already been gone had it just been me,
644
00:28:37,682 --> 00:28:40,350
alone or whatever,
I would've been gone.
645
00:28:40,485 --> 00:28:42,786
And you don't think
that you would have...
646
00:28:42,887 --> 00:28:45,322
Or, do you think,
I guess I should say...
647
00:28:45,423 --> 00:28:50,127
Do you think that just
because of a law or a bill,
648
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:53,363
you are going to be accepted,
649
00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:56,200
and can do and say
whatever you want
650
00:28:57,469 --> 00:29:00,637
without, like,
all the repercussions?
651
00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,841
I don't-- I think I'm gonna
get that wherever I live.
652
00:29:03,942 --> 00:29:05,042
The kids certainly have.
653
00:29:05,143 --> 00:29:07,878
Ysabel's got so much
crap here, at school.
654
00:29:07,979 --> 00:29:10,247
So much crap because
of what her parents do.
655
00:29:10,348 --> 00:29:11,348
So much crap.
656
00:29:12,917 --> 00:29:16,120
Gabriel, when Gabriel was
still in the public school,
657
00:29:16,221 --> 00:29:20,057
and Savanah have had
no problems, no comments,
658
00:29:20,158 --> 00:29:22,526
you know what I mean,
about our family.
659
00:29:22,627 --> 00:29:23,861
I'm not saying it didn't happen,
660
00:29:23,962 --> 00:29:26,897
but that's just not been
the experience of my kids.
661
00:29:27,532 --> 00:29:29,666
I can't tell...
662
00:29:30,401 --> 00:29:31,835
[sighs in exasperation]
663
00:29:33,571 --> 00:29:39,409
I sort of feel like she's just trying
to make the case now to move.
664
00:29:39,511 --> 00:29:41,445
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't know.
665
00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:44,848
As much as I would
love to live in Utah,
666
00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:50,120
I have to think about the long
term effects on Sol and Ari.
667
00:29:50,221 --> 00:29:52,723
You know, 'cause Breanna's
just got a couple of years left
668
00:29:52,824 --> 00:29:54,758
before she's out of high school.
669
00:29:54,859 --> 00:29:58,195
And so I would
really be worried about, like,
670
00:29:58,329 --> 00:30:01,365
the issues
that they would run into
671
00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:04,835
knowing that their parents
are polygamous,
672
00:30:04,936 --> 00:30:07,738
and I'd be very, very
concerned the whole entire time.
673
00:30:08,606 --> 00:30:10,908
I really do understand.
674
00:30:11,009 --> 00:30:16,046
[sighs] It's really tough because
I wish I could move to Utah.
675
00:30:16,147 --> 00:30:19,183
But just because
it's mostly decriminalized
676
00:30:19,284 --> 00:30:21,485
doesn't mean there isn't
some sort of issue with it.
677
00:30:21,586 --> 00:30:22,953
It's still an infraction.
678
00:30:23,054 --> 00:30:24,888
What if they change it again?
679
00:30:24,989 --> 00:30:31,295
What if something big happens and they find
a bunch of stuff and some big-shot comes in
680
00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:34,131
and pushes for something
even scarier than ever before,
681
00:30:34,232 --> 00:30:36,033
and we're living there.
682
00:30:36,134 --> 00:30:38,368
There's nothing for me in Utah.
683
00:30:38,469 --> 00:30:39,736
Nothing.
684
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,638
My children aren't there.
685
00:30:41,739 --> 00:30:43,040
You have
a lot of children there.
686
00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:44,875
There's nothing for me there.
687
00:30:44,976 --> 00:30:48,478
This is the dream I always
wanted when we lived in Wyoming.
688
00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:52,115
So, the idea of giving this up
is making me sort of...
689
00:30:52,217 --> 00:30:53,584
My gut reaction is anger.
690
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,018
Okay.
691
00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:58,622
And I don't know how to reconcile
that and keep everybody happy.
692
00:30:58,723 --> 00:31:00,524
I'm a little bit surprised.
693
00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:02,793
I don't know, just because
something changes,
694
00:31:02,894 --> 00:31:06,630
doesn't mean that we uproot
and pull those stakes again.
695
00:31:06,731 --> 00:31:09,399
I don't feel any calling
to go back to Utah.
696
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:13,103
To me, it just represents
loneliness again.
697
00:31:13,204 --> 00:31:17,074
It's the same amount of loneliness to have
here, but at least I have this property.
698
00:31:17,175 --> 00:31:20,544
And I'll be living in some sub-division
in Utah. Like in some house.
699
00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:22,279
Who knows
if we'd even be together.
700
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:24,181
We've all committed
to this land,
701
00:31:24,282 --> 00:31:28,218
and all of a sudden she's like "Well, I think
we should just sell it and move to Utah."
702
00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:30,954
Wait a minute! First of all,
that's like whiplash.
703
00:31:31,055 --> 00:31:33,557
And then, secondly,
704
00:31:33,658 --> 00:31:37,261
like, what about all the effort
and agreements and discussions
705
00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:39,830
that we've had about developing
this property, and all of a sudden,
706
00:31:39,931 --> 00:31:42,966
you want to throw it away
because some law has changed?
707
00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:45,836
No social rules
have changed in Utah.
708
00:31:45,937 --> 00:31:50,073
We will still face stigma. Our kids
will still be persecuted in school.
709
00:31:50,174 --> 00:31:52,376
And you wanna go because
the law is changed,
710
00:31:52,477 --> 00:31:54,978
and I think it's mostly
'cause her kids are there now.
711
00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:56,680
Honestly, I think
that's what it's about.
712
00:31:56,781 --> 00:31:58,415
It's that
her kids are there now.
713
00:31:58,516 --> 00:32:03,820
I don't know. I think that once we
basically were kicked out of Utah,
714
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,390
I've just kind of had
a feeling of,
715
00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:09,359
"I'm not gonna grace you
with my presence, then."
716
00:32:09,460 --> 00:32:11,194
I feel like
there's a big difference
717
00:32:11,296 --> 00:32:15,332
between me owning a business
and providing a home for my mother
718
00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:17,434
and me living in Utah.
719
00:32:17,535 --> 00:32:21,371
I don't live in Utah,
and I'm not going to.
720
00:32:21,472 --> 00:32:23,907
[man shouting]
Families, not felons!
721
00:32:24,008 --> 00:32:27,744
You wanted to kick us out?
Fine, I'll stay out.
722
00:32:27,845 --> 00:32:31,481
I don't need you... [laughs]
You know what I mean?
723
00:32:31,582 --> 00:32:35,018
I'm in a place where I feel like
my kids, my kids love it here.
724
00:32:35,119 --> 00:32:39,022
This is the most likely place for any of
our kids to move back, our adult kids.
725
00:32:39,123 --> 00:32:42,292
For the price, we would never
be able to replace this in Utah.
726
00:32:44,562 --> 00:32:48,265
I'm surprised because I thought
Kody was more in favor of this.
727
00:32:48,366 --> 00:32:51,335
He's acting like we've never
even talked about it and that
728
00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:55,772
he wasn't in favor of it
the last time we talked.
729
00:32:57,442 --> 00:33:01,745
[Kody] I am extremely frustrated
that now she wants to move to Utah,
730
00:33:01,846 --> 00:33:06,249
after we're really, kind of,
very deep in Flagstaff.
731
00:33:06,351 --> 00:33:10,487
We've got so much money strung
out on homes and property here.
732
00:33:10,588 --> 00:33:12,322
Now she wants to move.
733
00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:14,691
Present it to your sister wives.
734
00:33:14,792 --> 00:33:17,327
They've always been
able to blame me
735
00:33:17,428 --> 00:33:23,100
because that's just one more of the
double standards in plural marriage.
736
00:33:23,201 --> 00:33:25,802
Is that the husband
always gets blamed.
737
00:33:25,903 --> 00:33:28,472
You have two wives
complaining about each other.
738
00:33:28,573 --> 00:33:30,140
Guess what, it's my fault.
739
00:33:30,241 --> 00:33:33,143
Kids, squabbles with kids,
it's my fault.
740
00:33:33,244 --> 00:33:35,378
"I need a new job."
It's my fault.
741
00:33:35,446 --> 00:33:37,748
Career change, my fault.
Everything's my fault.
742
00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:42,085
Christine's gonna say this.
They're gonna think I put her up to it,
743
00:33:42,186 --> 00:33:44,121
but she owns this 100%.
744
00:33:44,222 --> 00:33:47,924
Finally, it's not my fault.
745
00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,460
Even though you really want
to be in Utah more,
746
00:33:50,561 --> 00:33:53,497
could you settle
and be here on this property?
747
00:33:53,598 --> 00:33:56,433
- Or is that too much to answer right now?
- That's too much.
748
00:33:56,534 --> 00:33:58,168
So you're really--
749
00:33:58,269 --> 00:34:00,270
Your heart is really
with going to Utah?
750
00:34:00,371 --> 00:34:05,409
I've been thinking about it since
polygamy got decriminalized.
751
00:34:05,510 --> 00:34:08,345
'Cause to me, it was just
the next logical thought
752
00:34:08,446 --> 00:34:10,414
that would make the most sense.
753
00:34:10,515 --> 00:34:16,453
You are considering
going there regardless,
754
00:34:16,554 --> 00:34:17,521
or are you?
755
00:34:17,622 --> 00:34:19,156
I don't know, Meri.
756
00:34:21,626 --> 00:34:26,263
If everybody-- Can we sensitively
consider, Christine, that you
757
00:34:26,364 --> 00:34:28,665
sort of feel torn?
758
00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:31,368
I don't know if it's "torn"
really. That you feel that...
759
00:34:31,469 --> 00:34:35,505
And keep moving forward
with this property and just always
760
00:34:35,606 --> 00:34:38,708
keep that thought,
that that's what you want.
761
00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:40,077
I mean...
762
00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:43,480
- [Christine sobs]
- I'm trying to honor you,
763
00:34:43,581 --> 00:34:45,916
but see if we can
keep moving forward here.
764
00:34:53,458 --> 00:34:55,692
We're not moving, are we?
765
00:34:57,195 --> 00:34:58,728
[sobbing]
766
00:35:03,234 --> 00:35:06,670
[continues sobbing]
767
00:35:20,585 --> 00:35:22,586
[Christine sobbing quietly]
768
00:35:27,825 --> 00:35:29,493
[continues sobbing]
769
00:35:40,037 --> 00:35:41,705
[Kody] Did you think
that everybody else
770
00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:44,174
was going to feel the same way
about moving back?
771
00:35:49,313 --> 00:35:52,449
You just anticipated that everybody
else would feel the same way
772
00:35:52,550 --> 00:35:56,486
because if the law changed,
it'd be easy for us to go back.
773
00:36:01,492 --> 00:36:04,628
I just don't know why
Kody's not being supportive.
774
00:36:04,729 --> 00:36:09,466
As just, kind of, a parent-- I don't
know. I don't wanna give up hope yet,
775
00:36:09,567 --> 00:36:12,068
but I'm pretty sure--
776
00:36:12,837 --> 00:36:14,337
I don't know.
777
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:18,041
When we were there,
778
00:36:18,142 --> 00:36:21,044
you guys all talked about how
Utah was home,
779
00:36:21,145 --> 00:36:24,514
and the mountains were home,
780
00:36:24,615 --> 00:36:28,585
and family was there, so I
thought that you felt the same.
781
00:36:34,492 --> 00:36:37,627
I'm sorry. I just don't
even know how to...
782
00:36:39,997 --> 00:36:41,965
how to make this okay for you.
783
00:36:44,101 --> 00:36:46,403
Um...
784
00:36:46,504 --> 00:36:49,339
So when we went, I mean, it
did feel like that, but it's just--
785
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,676
It's home,
but it's not friendly.
786
00:36:53,377 --> 00:36:55,078
That's how I feel.
787
00:36:55,179 --> 00:36:58,481
I mean, there's a part of it
that will always be home to me.
788
00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:00,083
Always.
789
00:37:00,184 --> 00:37:05,989
But it's not friendly
to us and...
790
00:37:06,090 --> 00:37:08,592
I don't know.
I just don't know how to...
791
00:37:11,629 --> 00:37:14,331
feel comfortable
doing that to my kids.
792
00:37:22,873 --> 00:37:24,507
I don't know.
793
00:37:25,876 --> 00:37:28,245
Come here. Come here, come
here, come here, come here.
794
00:37:28,346 --> 00:37:29,346
[Christine] Oh, God.
795
00:37:29,447 --> 00:37:31,214
- [Meri] Come here.
- [Christine] What?
796
00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:37,287
I don't know what just happened.
797
00:37:37,388 --> 00:37:40,423
I mean, I'm sitting here going
"Wait a second,
798
00:37:40,524 --> 00:37:43,460
Why didn't you pitch it to 'em?
You were enthusiastic about it."
799
00:37:43,561 --> 00:37:46,096
It seems
like she didn't even try.
800
00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:53,103
Meri, I can't do marriage with
Kody any more. I don't wanna--
801
00:37:53,204 --> 00:37:55,805
- [Meri] Just look at the mountain.
- I don't wanna do it any more.
802
00:37:56,974 --> 00:37:59,209
- [Meri] Don't talk about that.
- [scoffs]
803
00:38:00,077 --> 00:38:01,611
[Meri] Just look
at the mountain.
804
00:38:01,712 --> 00:38:04,547
[Christine sobbing]
That's what you saw that day.
805
00:38:04,649 --> 00:38:06,349
I can't go there today.
806
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:08,585
Don't go there.
807
00:38:08,686 --> 00:38:10,220
Just go with the mountain.
808
00:38:11,422 --> 00:38:13,023
That's it.
809
00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:14,291
[quietly] It's not enough.
810
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,160
It's not enough.
811
00:38:19,096 --> 00:38:21,364
- Then make it enough.
- But it's not.
812
00:38:21,465 --> 00:38:25,168
Then make it. You don't
get to give up like that.
813
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,407
Why?
814
00:38:30,508 --> 00:38:32,142
'Cause you're not a quitter.
815
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,644
Why is it quitting?
816
00:38:35,946 --> 00:38:37,514
'Cause it's quitting.
817
00:38:41,018 --> 00:38:42,719
Look at me.
818
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:44,754
You know where I am.
819
00:38:44,855 --> 00:38:46,790
You know where I have been.
820
00:38:55,466 --> 00:38:57,200
Or are you just hurting?
821
00:38:57,301 --> 00:38:58,601
I'm just hurting.
822
00:38:58,703 --> 00:39:02,272
Then you can't say what you
want or don't want at this point.
823
00:39:03,841 --> 00:39:05,975
Okay? You don't get to say that.
824
00:39:11,782 --> 00:39:13,717
I don't feel like this any more.
825
00:39:13,818 --> 00:39:15,785
- I don't feel like--
- 'Cause you're hurting.
826
00:39:15,886 --> 00:39:19,689
And when you're hurting, you
can't be real with your feelings.
827
00:39:23,728 --> 00:39:26,329
- I promise.
- Or it's just changed.
828
00:39:27,898 --> 00:39:29,799
- Are you hurting right now?
- Yes.
829
00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:31,735
Then you're hurting.
830
00:39:31,836 --> 00:39:33,770
- It's not change, you're just hurting.
- So what does that mean?
831
00:39:33,871 --> 00:39:36,039
- I don't wanna hurt any more.
- It means you need to fill hole--
832
00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:38,408
Then you're giving up
if you're just hurting.
833
00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:40,176
Maybe it's not giving up.
834
00:39:40,845 --> 00:39:42,846
- It is.
- Maybe it's not.
835
00:39:44,949 --> 00:39:47,350
Maybe it just looks different.
836
00:39:47,451 --> 00:39:48,952
And it's fine
with looking different.
837
00:39:49,053 --> 00:39:51,388
I don't believe
that "look different" crap.
838
00:39:51,489 --> 00:39:53,189
I do not believe that.
839
00:39:54,091 --> 00:39:56,926
People say it,
but I do not believe it.
840
00:39:56,994 --> 00:39:58,328
[sighs in exasperation]
I don't--
841
00:39:58,996 --> 00:40:00,263
I just don't.
842
00:40:03,701 --> 00:40:05,268
I don't wanna
look at the mountains
843
00:40:05,369 --> 00:40:08,037
and remember the angels,
how they were singing,
844
00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:10,006
and I felt this pull.
845
00:40:10,107 --> 00:40:12,275
I agreed to move to Flagstaff.
846
00:40:13,010 --> 00:40:14,711
And I followed Kody here.
847
00:40:17,882 --> 00:40:21,050
But it's been a struggle
the whole time.
848
00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:23,520
I'm tired of feeling
like I don't matter.
849
00:40:23,621 --> 00:40:27,557
I'm tired of not having his
support when I really need it.
850
00:40:30,494 --> 00:40:31,961
I'm just tired.
851
00:40:32,062 --> 00:40:33,963
I need a partnership. I need...
852
00:40:34,899 --> 00:40:36,599
something different than this.
853
00:40:38,836 --> 00:40:40,270
I get things change.
854
00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:45,308
And I get "hurt". Okay?
855
00:40:45,409 --> 00:40:50,046
But that doesn't mean deep down
there's not something that really you want.
856
00:40:50,147 --> 00:40:52,549
And that you can fight for,
and that you can work for.
857
00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:54,517
But you have to do it
in your heart.
858
00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:56,719
You have to do the work.
859
00:41:01,058 --> 00:41:02,592
And it's hard.
860
00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:05,094
And you can't give up.
861
00:41:07,231 --> 00:41:11,835
And you're not by that. It looks
so different than "It can change."
862
00:41:12,336 --> 00:41:14,037
I made a commitment.
863
00:41:15,673 --> 00:41:18,675
I made a commitment to Kody, I
made a commitment to the family.
864
00:41:18,776 --> 00:41:22,545
I made a commitment to
Janelle, and Christine, and Robyn.
865
00:41:22,646 --> 00:41:26,516
To me,
that's what family is about.
866
00:41:26,617 --> 00:41:30,520
You didn't put 30 years into
this... 25, 28, wherever you are--
867
00:41:30,621 --> 00:41:32,522
To walk away.
868
00:41:32,623 --> 00:41:35,258
I didn't put 30 years in
to walk away.
869
00:41:45,769 --> 00:41:47,437
- Okay?
- Okay.
870
00:41:56,614 --> 00:41:59,849
[Christine] I appreciate
everything Meri is saying, I do.
871
00:41:59,950 --> 00:42:01,918
She's lived through a lot.
872
00:42:05,756 --> 00:42:10,059
But her relationship with Kody
certainly isn't one that I would want.
873
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:14,130
And the relationship that I have with
Kody isn't what I would want either.
874
00:42:16,433 --> 00:42:18,167
What I have here...
875
00:42:21,305 --> 00:42:23,306
is not what I want right now.
876
00:42:25,809 --> 00:42:27,777
[birds chirping]