1 00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:04,336 [narrator] Previously on Sister Wives... 2 00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:06,905 Honestly, I'm at a point now where I see the family 3 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,008 as an obstacle to my own goals. 4 00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:11,043 The five of us are not happy. 5 00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:14,747 So far, we haven't really handled COVID as a team. 6 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,816 I'm about ready to psychologically lose it. 7 00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:21,020 We have spent our whole family life trying 8 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:24,790 to build a one-family culture, and this could tear that apart. 9 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:28,027 I don't feel like I'm very important to him. 10 00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:31,230 Like, it's taking all of my self-control to just stay. 11 00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:33,065 That's ridiculous. 12 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:36,602 Next time I see Kody, I'm gonna tell him 13 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,203 I freakin' want to move back to Utah 14 00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:39,805 even though the girls don't want to. 15 00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:42,908 One, two, three, four wives said, "No, we're never 16 00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:44,977 moving back to Utah." 17 00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:47,780 I am in the depths of frustration. 18 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,782 I am in polygamy hell. 19 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:57,883 ♪♪ 20 00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:04,696 ♪♪ 21 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:11,136 ♪♪ 22 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:20,212 ♪♪ 23 00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:23,148 Hi, guys, um, me and my dad are going to take 24 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,918 um, junk to the junk field. 25 00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:27,152 - [car beeps] - Landfill. 26 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,353 [Kody] To the land fill, huh? 27 00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:30,122 You know, I'm at Robyn's house, right now, 28 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:33,325 I'm trying to keep Solomon from being just in the house all the time. 29 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:37,729 And he's been kind of excited about making his own home videos lately. 30 00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,965 So I just told him, "hey, let's go make one together 31 00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:42,201 and we'll haul the garbage off to the landfill." 32 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,304 So, we're gonna, um, go the landfill... 33 00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,339 [Kody] But first, we have to fill it up. 34 00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:54,880 So get your camera against here. See how much junk we got? Lift. 35 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,381 So, Solomon's just eight years old, 36 00:01:56,483 --> 00:02:00,652 Um, he is four years older than Ariella Mae. 37 00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:03,422 And him and Ari are my youngest children. 38 00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:04,990 You know, he's a good kid... 39 00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:06,558 We're just going to throw away. 40 00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:08,026 [Kody] Carry it in. 41 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:11,597 He's learning to read, and he likes mathematics. 42 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:17,503 [Solomon] Oh, crap, you gotta be kidding me. 43 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,471 [Kody] It's rodent guts. 44 00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:21,807 The first thing you think with a dead rat or a mouse 45 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,942 is like, disease. [chuckles] 46 00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:27,779 Let's get this packed in and get it thrown into the landfill. 47 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,082 Like this. Oh, missed. 48 00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:34,520 Whoa. We really jacked up our camera. Whoa. Whoa. 49 00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:36,421 I think that Sol is bored 50 00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,590 with the fact that he's not, 51 00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:42,394 um, getting exposure to the family. 52 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,230 He's not really that expressive. 53 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,833 So I don't really know how this is affecting him. 54 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:51,170 Whoo. 55 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,006 Alrighty. Good job, Sol, so high-five. 56 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:57,242 - [Solomon] Something stinks, is that it? - Yeah, rodent guts stink. 57 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:58,677 But the strange thing is, 58 00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:00,445 is both Robyn and I have been concerned 59 00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:04,516 not just about Solomon, but about all of the kids 60 00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:08,854 on their, sort of, lack of social life... 61 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:11,123 So, as hard as COVID is for all the adults, 62 00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,725 I think the kids, it's really harder for the kids. 63 00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:15,727 [giggling] 64 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,530 [Kody] Our family's been struggling 65 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,733 not just with communication but really with COVID. 66 00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,635 Janelle's been on this sort of theme 67 00:03:23,736 --> 00:03:25,938 about how we're going to communicate more and 68 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,307 we gotta figure our relationships out. 69 00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:33,612 [Janelle] I am very worried about the long term 70 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,580 effects that this 71 00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:38,684 months or however long this is gonna be. 72 00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:42,487 [Kody] It's not a breakdown in communication, 73 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:45,023 it's a breakdown on agreement 74 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,759 on how we're supposed to have our family 75 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,796 behave during COVID-19. 76 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,664 Each household has a 77 00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:56,768 different view. I'm struggling to get everybody to agree 78 00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:58,370 with my view. 79 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,940 If I settle down at Robyn's house, 80 00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:04,176 and I start enjoying myself, and I've been there for a week, 81 00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:07,746 I start feeling guilty because I'm not at the other house, 82 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,881 I'm not seeing my other wife. 83 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,951 It's making it so that I can't enjoy my time 84 00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:15,254 with Robyn because 85 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:18,090 I'm not seeing my other wives and children. 86 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,232 It's been really hard to get centered 87 00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:29,835 and present. 88 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:33,839 How much of this can we endure? 89 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,075 'Cause if we keep doing this, we won't even be having Christmas together. 90 00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:53,292 [call ringing] 91 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,927 - [Christine] Hi. - [Kody] Hi. I'll just meet you in the back. 92 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,897 - Does that work? On the porch? - [Christine] That sounds great, yeah. 93 00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:00,332 - [Kody] Okay. - [Christine] Okay. 94 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,000 I call Christine from the driveway 95 00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:03,602 'cause I want to sit down and visit with the kids, 96 00:05:03,703 --> 00:05:06,738 visit with her. I had to make sure that everybody was-- 97 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,073 Comes outside. 98 00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:10,108 You know, 'cause I'm not going into the house right now. 99 00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,611 'Cause they've been travelling so they've had exposure 100 00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,313 and we're still trying to 101 00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:17,149 minimize the amount of exposure that we have 102 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,518 to me going from house to house. 103 00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:23,221 In the beginning, I really asked everybody 104 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,923 to not travel, to not go anywhere, 105 00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:27,225 to not do anything so that I could see the kids 106 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,162 and it's just been something that Christine hasn't wanted to do. 107 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,963 She doesn't want to stay home. 108 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:35,567 [Christine] Last week we were out of town, visiting my kids in Utah. 109 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,670 I mean, there's a fine line 110 00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:40,772 that I walk all the time with COVID. 111 00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:44,242 I know he would rather us just stay home all the time. 112 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,678 But yeah, that's not going to happen, I have other kids to go see. 113 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,448 - Hi, sweetie. - Hey. 114 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:51,416 - Hello, Dad. - How's it going? 115 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:52,951 - Good, how are you? - [Kody] There is nothing 116 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,620 normal about being at home 117 00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:58,523 all the time with COVID-19. 118 00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:01,560 But Christine is continuing to travel 119 00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:04,062 and she's chosen a different lifestyle 120 00:06:04,163 --> 00:06:06,732 rather than a full-fledged relationship with me. 121 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:07,899 It makes me feel like 122 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,369 the loser that nobody wants to be around. 123 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:13,071 Okay. So, Ysabel's surgery, 124 00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,474 so if we had to have insurance for the surgery, 125 00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:18,377 it took us five months to get insurance-- six months to get insurance. 126 00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:22,280 Ysabel was diagnosed with scoliosis when she was like 13. 127 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,584 Scoliosis is an abnormal curvature of the spine. 128 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:28,453 We've been trying to wait to do surgery 129 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,055 as long as possible. 130 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:33,892 To give Ysabel as much of a teenage life that we can. 131 00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:36,828 We did exercises in the beginning 132 00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:39,398 but we found out that the curve was pretty aggressive. 133 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:40,932 So, we got Ysabel's X-rays 134 00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:43,435 in January, 'cause she started talking about her back 135 00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:45,537 hurting her a lot more. 136 00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:48,039 And her curve is over 50 degrees now. 137 00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:50,809 So it's just time to get the surgery. 138 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,177 When do they want to schedule it? 139 00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,780 I think September is what we're looking at. 140 00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:57,482 It's in New Jersey, were-- and you were going to stay with... 141 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:58,917 -[Christine] With my sister, yeah. -With... 142 00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:02,954 We have to be in New Jersey on a Monday. 143 00:07:03,055 --> 00:07:05,857 And then she'll get the surgery Wednesday or Thursday 144 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:08,894 and then we'll stay for 10 days after that. 145 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,929 So they can monitor Ysabel. 146 00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,932 I don't f-- Why don't we put it out six months? 147 00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,100 Because of the pandemic. 148 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,803 'Cause of her pain level, Kody. 149 00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:21,006 Well, but the-- we're talking about New Jersey which is 150 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,809 New York, basically. 151 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:27,412 There's a pandemic going on and New York was the hotspot. 152 00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:30,315 And we have been safe the entire time here. 153 00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:32,017 Kody, that's absolute bull [bleep]. 154 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,919 Arizona is a hotspot now, what do you mean? 155 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:37,622 Yeah, but we don't leave our home and go all over Arizona. 156 00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,758 I know that getting a surgery 157 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:42,294 during a pandemic isn't smart, 158 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,229 I know that, I'm not stupid 159 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:46,731 but she's in enough pain and I can't wait more. 160 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,533 I cannot wait more. 161 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,268 - She's in constant pain. - [Kody] Geez. 162 00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:52,771 So I understand, there's a pandemic going on 163 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,940 but, why don't I call them and just say, "hey, 164 00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:58,443 what is it like there? What's the situation with COVID? 165 00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:01,379 Are there a lot of cases in the hospital where you are?" 166 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,782 That's only half the equation. 167 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,151 It's travelling there, it's the time there, 168 00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:09,120 it's the exposure, it's constant exposure. 169 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,889 You can't come the whole time because... 170 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,091 Listen, I'm not flying there. 171 00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:15,327 This is the thing, you guys, I'm not 172 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,362 going to New York. 173 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:20,665 All right, so I think that you should wait for the surgery. 174 00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:23,034 I'm trying to assess what's really changed 175 00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:25,837 from six months ago or a year ago, 176 00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:27,506 why right now, 177 00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,407 why do we have to go right now, 178 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,176 why can't we wait a little bit longer, 179 00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:34,112 I mean, this has been-- We've been fighting with this. 180 00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:37,716 We've been struggling with this for five years. 181 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:40,085 And I'm frustrated by that 182 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,087 because this is just falling with the actions 183 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,889 that's she's done all along. 184 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:46,191 Not being concerned whether or not we're spreading 185 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,159 the virus, or getting the virus. 186 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,828 She's just not being concerned. 187 00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:52,063 I think there's some things that you can put off, 188 00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,333 but this isn't something that we can put off more. 189 00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:57,602 She's in pain. 190 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,938 Ysabel's pain level has been, 191 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:02,474 they always have this scale between zero and 10, 192 00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:05,076 she's been living between an eight and nine. 193 00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:06,878 She's in that much pain. 194 00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:10,181 I've never had the kind of pain that she has, 195 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,017 except in childbirth, 196 00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,485 natural childbirth. 197 00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:14,686 That was it. 198 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,288 Does it hurt us to wait six months? 199 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:18,957 I think it can only get worse. 200 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,926 So why do we keep putting it off? 201 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:23,061 You think the pandemic's just going to get worse? 202 00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:25,163 No, like, my pain, like, scoliosis. 203 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,432 And then the pandemic might just only get worse 204 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:29,367 and we don't know, so why do we keep 205 00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,403 waiting when it might just get worse? 206 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,638 We're not waiting six months to get the surgery. 207 00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,307 We're not waiting another six months. 208 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,709 I am with her every single day. 209 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,978 And I see her in pain, every single day 210 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,480 and it's already nine months 211 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,883 past the time when she told me 212 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,651 she couldn't take it any more. 213 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,920 People are making an effort to mitigate 214 00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,590 this and I-- we-- 215 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,027 Why right now? I mean, 216 00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:59,164 let's let COVID pass and then we can all go together. 217 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,665 I need to be there 218 00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,768 and I don't know why they can't wait. 219 00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:05,804 I don't think that this is a selfish move, 220 00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:06,938 doing this surgery. 221 00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:08,440 I think we have to do this surgery. 222 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,942 No, no, the surgery needs to be done, I understand that. 223 00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:14,012 I don't have a problem with doing the surgery. 224 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,615 I just have a problem with putting us all at risk 225 00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:18,116 and other people at risk with us 226 00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:21,620 travelling to do the surgery during this pandemic. 227 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,122 That's an issue to the whole family. We've been... 228 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,427 It's like, you have to respect people's-- 229 00:10:29,528 --> 00:10:31,363 Where people are on this. 230 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:35,967 I mean, here's the thing, 231 00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,169 is, if we're going in September for the surgery, 232 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,738 I don't think I'm going to be going. 233 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,607 I'm not going to travel to-- 234 00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,843 I'm not going to go there, okay? 235 00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,882 Gosh. 236 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,584 I'm trying to do what's right for Ysabel. 237 00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:54,386 I understand. 238 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,521 But we have to do what's right for the whole family. 239 00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,123 Not just what Ysabel needs. 240 00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,726 We can pretend that there's no pandemic 241 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,361 [Christine] I'm not pretending. 242 00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:04,996 -Well... -[Christine] I'm not pretending. 243 00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:07,832 They wouldn't have the surgery or give us the surgery 244 00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:10,301 if they thought it was unsafe. 245 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:13,071 I understand this is really important to you, Ysabel. 246 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,739 What do we do? 247 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,241 If you're going to go do the surgery, 248 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,243 what are we going to do? 249 00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:21,212 Do we send Ysabel by herself? 250 00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:24,849 Did he really just say that? 251 00:11:26,318 --> 00:11:27,819 He suggested her to go by her-- 252 00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,359 So before I go irate and lose my mind 253 00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:38,997 at his ridiculous, stupid suggestion, 254 00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:42,100 I'm just going to assume it's the Kody rollercoaster 255 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,738 and he's going to realize how stupid that is 256 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:48,773 before I really have to respond that much. 257 00:11:57,783 --> 00:11:59,217 [Kody] Christine and I are having a discussion 258 00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:01,820 with Ysabel about her having her scoliosis surgery 259 00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,988 in New Jersey. Maybe we should wait until 260 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,624 the pandemic is over before we do the surgery. 261 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,660 Ysabel, if you can it in September, 262 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,529 and had to do it by yourself, 263 00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,231 with just Wendy taking care of you... 264 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:14,933 -[Christine] It wouldn't happen. -[Kody] Or just-- 265 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,068 Or wait six months 266 00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:18,937 and be able to have me and Mom go. 267 00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:21,406 I don't know. 268 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,411 It's not that you're not important 269 00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:29,214 - and I'm not... It's not, you're not important. - [Kody] It's really... 270 00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,316 it's really-- It's not-- It's not... 271 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,817 [Christine] What are you feeling? 272 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,352 God, I know. 273 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:44,262 [Christine] No you're not. 100%. 100%. 274 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,297 I'm going with you. 275 00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:48,900 I'm going with you to the surgery. 276 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:51,202 You're not going by yourself. That's not an option. 277 00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,973 - I wouldn't do that to you. - [sniffles] Okay. 278 00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,574 I would never, okay? 279 00:12:57,743 --> 00:12:59,344 I'd never, ever do that. 280 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,149 It's not that I don't want you to have the surgery. 281 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,817 I want you to have the surgery as soon as possible. 282 00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:06,985 I know. I know. I know. 283 00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:13,558 All that was... 284 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,995 I shouldn't have said that. 285 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,934 I'm having a really difficult time 286 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:25,470 getting around what Ysabel needs 287 00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,872 because of the loudness of what Christine needs, 288 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,641 which is all emotional needs 289 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:32,744 that she's been expressing through this whole pandemic. 290 00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:36,347 So, I need to separate Christine 291 00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:38,249 from Ysabel 292 00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:42,420 in the decision to go have the surgery. 293 00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:45,423 Honestly, it's just because I feel bad 294 00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,058 that I'm not going to be able to go. 295 00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,429 [Ysabel] Sure, we can wait. [sniffles] 296 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,069 [sniffles] Unless it does. 297 00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:02,707 How long do you want me to wait? 298 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:09,447 Am I? 299 00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:11,015 - [Christine] Whatever. You-- - I'm not great. 300 00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:12,884 - Okay. - ...not needed any more. 301 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,385 - You're fine. - Okay. 302 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:22,627 I was supposed to be there with her for the surgery, 303 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,028 to be the person she leaned on, 304 00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,064 the person that she got strength from. 305 00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:28,633 And the challenging part of it is 306 00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:31,536 Christine and I aren't getting along on things. 307 00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:33,238 And, so... 308 00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:35,707 it's hard for me not to see it as an opportunity 309 00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,242 for Christine to do it without me. 310 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,612 All right. Let's... 311 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,381 [Christine] This is not a vacation. 312 00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:45,183 This is a medical procedure. 313 00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:47,919 And I think medical procedures have to happen. 314 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,854 And her surgery has to happen. 315 00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:53,858 There's some things that we can put off. 316 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:58,096 But we can't stop everything. 317 00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:00,164 And this is one of those things we can't stop. 318 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,638 - Okay. - Okay. 319 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:10,141 - All right. I'm gonna run. - Okay. 320 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:12,710 As soon as they're willing to set the appointment, 321 00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:14,646 I would set the appointment. 322 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,314 - I will. - Okay. See ya. 323 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,615 Okay. Bye. 324 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:31,329 I don't understand how he cannot know 325 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,931 how much pain she is in. 326 00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:38,436 I'm getting so frus-- anyway. 327 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:41,272 Maybe if he was around more, he'd see this more. 328 00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:42,840 [softly] God! Just... 329 00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:44,943 whatever. 330 00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:49,914 [Kody] I don't want Ysabel to feel 331 00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:51,282 like I don't want her to have the surgery. 332 00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:52,817 I don't want her to feel any guilt. 333 00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:54,285 I don't want her to have any sadness 334 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,486 from me not being there. 335 00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,221 I just want her to know I love her. 336 00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:59,223 And that I want the best for her. 337 00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:11,169 [Christine] Hey, sweetheart. [sniffles] 338 00:16:12,671 --> 00:16:13,871 That was... 339 00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:17,508 awful. 340 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:26,317 [Kody] It's just been a challenge. 341 00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,720 Ever since we moved to Flagstaff. 342 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,822 With Christine's attitude towards me, 343 00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:32,490 towards the rest of the family, 344 00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:35,526 we're existing in an alternate reality, 345 00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,895 it feels like. Everything is upside down. 346 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,602 The struggles of plural marriage make me 347 00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:47,071 just think that it's a waste of time. 348 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:50,141 So, in five months, you've hardly been here. 349 00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:52,944 I'm just worried about my sanity 350 00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:54,712 and our relationship. 351 00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:56,748 We have embarked on an experiment 352 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,316 that is a failure. 353 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,527 [Kody] Polygamy is seriously complicated. 354 00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:13,197 I mean, you take any relationship 355 00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:15,033 between two people. 356 00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,801 Now we add polygamy on to it. 357 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:18,669 Okay. Well, we were doing okay. 358 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,172 Then you add living a little further apart, 359 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,608 and then you add in COVID-19. 360 00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:28,746 I don't know what's happened to the monogamous out there, 361 00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:32,183 but this is really causing some problems for my family. 362 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,020 This is what I want to say to my wives. 363 00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,022 It'll just be a few more weeks, okay? 364 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:40,291 So, why can't you stay home 365 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,826 so that I can be home? 366 00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:45,096 We really are in a place 367 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:48,533 where... where we go one, we go all. 368 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,502 If we won't all be in that place, 369 00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:53,104 we can't be a family any more. 370 00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:56,407 We can't exist living like a family any more. 371 00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,243 - [Kody] Hi. - [Janelle] Hi. 372 00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:00,711 I'm glad you came by. I wanted to look 373 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,046 at a calendar with you. 374 00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,848 I've got some traveling I need to do 375 00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,583 to help Maddie this summer. 376 00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:08,786 My travel will affect our ability to be 377 00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:10,021 in the same house together. 378 00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:11,823 Or whatever. Affect the family. 379 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:12,990 You're going out, right? 380 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,992 - You're going out of town? - I need to go help Maddie 381 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,994 with the kids. 382 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,030 So, we'll overlap. So you won't be able 383 00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,032 to be here 'cause the boys just got home. 384 00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:24,001 Madison told me that the surgery is the 20th. 385 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:24,902 August. 386 00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:26,537 My granddaughter Evie was born 387 00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:29,740 with a syndrome called FATCO. It's very rare. 388 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,510 And it basically means that she's missing 389 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,246 several bones. She still functions normally. 390 00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:37,448 Mentally she's great. Physically she's great. 391 00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:39,183 She just is missing a few bones. 392 00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:44,088 - [Caleb] All right. - [indistinct conversation] 393 00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,356 [Caleb] All right. You ready? 394 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,758 [Caleb] This is your granddaughter. 395 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,760 [Kody] Aw, look at that wide-eyed little baby. 396 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,130 [Janelle] She has one leg that's six 397 00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:53,831 or seven inches shorter. 398 00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:55,600 I can't remember. 399 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,702 So, they're getting it ready for a prosthetic, 400 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,203 so that she'll be able to walk. 401 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,872 'Cause there's such a difference 402 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,340 in the size of her limbs. 403 00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:07,345 [Kody] Hey, it's going to be a month before I'm over here. 404 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,114 Maybe longer, because of how long she'll be gone, 405 00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,316 and then quarantining when she gets back. 406 00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:14,418 I'm going, "Well, are you going to come back, 407 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,654 and blame me for not being around?" 408 00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:18,222 This isn't a good idea. 409 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,324 I debated asking if you wanted to come with me 410 00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:22,093 on these trips, but I don't know how you would. 411 00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:23,628 It's not happening. I'm just not going 412 00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:24,996 - to be able to travel. - No, right. 413 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,197 'Cause you have too many other people 414 00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:27,965 that you interact with. 415 00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:33,271 [sighs] So, yeah. I think most of July is out for us. 416 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,041 I'm feeling a little emotional about it today. 417 00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:38,075 [Kody sighs] 418 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,778 The implications hit me a little bit. 419 00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:42,413 The idea that I'm not going to see Kody 420 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:44,649 for two months, really. 421 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,417 You know, I will miss Kody. 422 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,619 So, in five months, you've hardly been here 423 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,055 just because of the way schedules have overlapped. 424 00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:52,089 But... 425 00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:57,428 there's been nothing else to do about it. 426 00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:01,766 Yeah. 427 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,237 Um, okay. 428 00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:09,307 I can't think about it. I just have to go day-by-day. 429 00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:12,143 I just don't want to pick a fight with Janelle here. 430 00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:13,578 'Cause I know she's going to go, 431 00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:15,613 but I wish she wasn't. 432 00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:19,250 And that's like... five months, six months. 433 00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:21,252 We've done worse. 434 00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:23,221 I mean, I don't feel... 435 00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:25,723 like we're in trouble. 436 00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:27,291 With this happening, 437 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,228 we've done worse, but we're not as busy. 438 00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:32,697 I really think that it's just made us more aware. 439 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,098 There's nothing else going on. 440 00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:35,466 We're going "Well, why aren't we getting together 441 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,934 as a family?" 442 00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:37,902 You know, maybe, if anything, 443 00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:39,637 it's helped us see what we want. 444 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,806 Before COVID, they weren't 445 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,741 getting together to see each other. 446 00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:45,243 There's this weird thing that happened 447 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:47,211 when we got in Flagstaff. It wasn't like we were 448 00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,046 spending all that much time together. 449 00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:51,315 I just miss our flow, Kody. 450 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,452 I just miss... you and me and our flow. 451 00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:59,156 I'm just worried about my sanity 452 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,925 and our relationship. 453 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,527 I think we're fine. 454 00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:04,528 - Today I'm feeling like-- - I think it's-- 455 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,863 Because I'm looking 456 00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:06,964 - and I'm like "Well, it's a month. - It's a little boring." 457 00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:09,700 It's a month. It's a month. 458 00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:12,603 I think I'm kinda overwhelmed by how much time 459 00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:15,106 I will be apart from him this summer. 460 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:18,042 So, we have the 2nd to the 19th of August. 461 00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:19,977 Then you'll be gone for how long? For-- 462 00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:20,978 Probably a week. 463 00:21:21,079 --> 00:21:23,648 - Evie's operation and-- - Probably a week. 464 00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:24,915 [Kody] If I expressed to Janelle 465 00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,450 how I feel right now, 466 00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,786 I think it'll just spoil her fun. 467 00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:30,821 I need her to be able to go and do this 468 00:21:30,922 --> 00:21:32,256 for Madison, 469 00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:34,292 be with the grandkids, 470 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:37,495 and really have an enjoyable experience. 471 00:21:37,596 --> 00:21:40,264 And me sour-graping about it isn't 472 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,632 going to help her at all. 473 00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:44,535 This is where I need you to say 474 00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:45,870 "I love you, and this doesn't matter, 475 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,305 and we'll get through this." 476 00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:48,906 I'm just gonna tell you 477 00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:50,441 what I need to hear from you. 478 00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:52,610 Okay. [laughs] I'm sorry. Well, we're gonna survive. 479 00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:55,413 We'll be okay. I love you, and I miss you. 480 00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:56,380 And we'll be all right. 481 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,049 We've done harder than this before. 482 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,051 - We have done a lot harder. - As long as it doesn't last 483 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,653 a lot longer, and we're still able to, 484 00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:04,655 you know, the distance. I mean, this is going to be 485 00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:06,891 the longest stint that we've had apart so far. 486 00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:09,026 You will be fine, sweetheart. 487 00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,294 We'll rekindle our romance 488 00:22:10,429 --> 00:22:12,563 - when we get back. - [Janelle laughs] 489 00:22:13,298 --> 00:22:15,733 - Our raging romance. - Yeah. 490 00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,401 - All right? - All right. 491 00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:25,876 I have really cynical dark days. 492 00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:29,046 The struggles of plural marriage make me 493 00:22:29,147 --> 00:22:31,082 just think that it's a waste of time, 494 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,284 that we have... we have embarked 495 00:22:33,385 --> 00:22:35,619 on an experiment that is a failure. 496 00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:40,257 And the COVID has kind of punctuated that. 497 00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:41,659 And I'm just wondering 498 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,161 how long our family can survive this. 499 00:22:44,262 --> 00:22:46,897 How much of this can we go through? 500 00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:48,632 - All right. - All right. 501 00:22:48,734 --> 00:22:50,968 - [chuckles] Well, see ya. - Bye. 502 00:22:52,237 --> 00:22:53,437 [Janelle] All right. See you. 503 00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:58,709 [Christine] So, I'm going to talk to Kody 504 00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:01,145 and my sister-wives about us moving 505 00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:02,446 back to Utah. 506 00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:05,616 Oh, my gosh! We can move back home. 507 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:08,119 [Janelle] There's nothing for me in Utah. 508 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:11,722 So, the idea of giving this up is making me sort of... 509 00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:13,290 my gut reaction is anger. 510 00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:31,208 [Christine] So, today, I'm going to talk 511 00:23:31,309 --> 00:23:34,145 to Kody and my sister-wives 512 00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,914 about us moving back to Utah. 513 00:23:37,015 --> 00:23:38,349 I talked to Kody already about it. 514 00:23:38,450 --> 00:23:39,617 It went great, I thought. 515 00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,185 And you know, at the end, I felt 516 00:23:41,286 --> 00:23:43,053 Yeah, really hopeful. 517 00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:44,855 So, I'm looking forward to going 518 00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:47,324 into this conversation with everybody, 519 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,960 um, knowing that I've got some support from Kody. 520 00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:51,796 It means a lot when you go into it 521 00:23:51,897 --> 00:23:53,531 to have some support like that. 522 00:23:53,632 --> 00:23:54,532 [indistinct chatter] 523 00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:55,900 - Hello. - Hi. 524 00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,235 [Janelle] I'm gonna go get my chair. 525 00:23:58,336 --> 00:24:00,070 [Christine] I love that shirt. 526 00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:03,174 [Meri] Thank you. Every hour should be happy hour. 527 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,409 That sounds like a drinking game. [chuckles] 528 00:24:05,510 --> 00:24:07,511 [shouting] It's because I am happy 529 00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:09,013 with my life! 530 00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:12,349 Oh, no! That sounds like a drinking game. 531 00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:15,553 My other favorite one says "Beach, please." 532 00:24:15,654 --> 00:24:17,621 And it's so cute walking through stores. 533 00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:20,324 All the old people are like, "Oh, I wanna be at the beach!" 534 00:24:20,425 --> 00:24:22,493 I'm like, "You know that's not what that means, right?" 535 00:24:22,594 --> 00:24:23,861 - [Christine] Yes. - [Meri laughs] 536 00:24:24,429 --> 00:24:25,629 What's beach mean? 537 00:24:25,730 --> 00:24:26,864 Bitch, please! 538 00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:28,699 I swear he doesn't get humor. 539 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,468 I don't know what is wrong with him. 540 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,538 Hello! We're in the shade. 541 00:24:34,673 --> 00:24:36,707 [Robyn] Every time I'm out here on the property, 542 00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,809 I'm just reminded of what our goals are. 543 00:24:38,910 --> 00:24:41,378 We want to get out here on this property together. 544 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,780 Remember? [chuckles] 545 00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:44,815 [Janelle] I'm taking this class right now. 546 00:24:44,916 --> 00:24:47,084 It talks about all of our local plants. 547 00:24:47,185 --> 00:24:48,018 - [Robyn] Huh. - And this weekend, 548 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,854 there's three days of plant walks. 549 00:24:49,955 --> 00:24:51,121 - [Robyn] Seriously? - Yeah. 550 00:24:51,223 --> 00:24:52,890 Christine had indicated that she has something 551 00:24:52,991 --> 00:24:54,558 she wants to talk to us about. 552 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,060 So, she said she wasn't excited, 553 00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:58,896 so I'm a little bit apprehensive. 554 00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:01,632 But the only way forward is to move through. 555 00:25:01,733 --> 00:25:03,601 [Christine] Okay. So, let's just start. 556 00:25:03,702 --> 00:25:06,504 So, when we went to the Dargers, 557 00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,807 and when we first saw them, 558 00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:11,475 I did almost cry. It's true. 559 00:25:11,576 --> 00:25:13,043 It was just so good to see them again, you know? 560 00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:14,945 It was so good to see them. 561 00:25:15,046 --> 00:25:17,448 [Christine] Oh, my gosh. This is totally different! 562 00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:19,283 - [woman] Well, hello. - [laughing] 563 00:25:19,384 --> 00:25:21,418 Oh, hi, baby. 564 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,354 - [Joe] Good to see you. - [Christine] Good to see you. 565 00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:26,223 - Gosh, you look good. - You do, too. 566 00:25:26,324 --> 00:25:29,960 Joe married Alina and Vicki forever ago. 567 00:25:30,061 --> 00:25:32,429 And then years and years later, 568 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,532 Val was married. She got a divorce from her husband, 569 00:25:34,633 --> 00:25:37,101 and she married Joe. That's Vicki's sister. 570 00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:41,906 It took me by surprise how normal I felt. 571 00:25:42,007 --> 00:25:44,408 I felt normal with them. I guess it's, you know, why 572 00:25:44,509 --> 00:25:46,043 when you live in a monogamous role 573 00:25:46,144 --> 00:25:49,346 I think it's a struggle to feel normal, you know? 574 00:25:49,447 --> 00:25:52,082 It's hard to just always be an oddity. 575 00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:53,984 You know? It's hard. 576 00:25:54,085 --> 00:25:56,654 There's always this level of understanding 577 00:25:56,755 --> 00:25:58,188 that they don't have. 578 00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,791 Even we're contemplating what we want to build 579 00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:02,560 for our final dream home. 580 00:26:02,661 --> 00:26:04,662 I want to design our house where we have, 581 00:26:04,796 --> 00:26:06,764 still a central kitchen that we all share, 582 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,133 but then each of these guys 583 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:10,768 with their own little, kind of apartment. 584 00:26:10,869 --> 00:26:11,702 And then more-- 585 00:26:11,803 --> 00:26:13,737 And Joe wants, actually, his bedroom. 586 00:26:13,838 --> 00:26:15,139 - [Joe] I want my own bedroom. - He wants a bedroom. 587 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,340 [everyone exclaiming] 588 00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:18,108 - You want your own bedroom? - I'm there. 589 00:26:18,209 --> 00:26:19,476 [indistinct chatter] 590 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,612 I am sick of going to three closets. 591 00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:24,381 I'll never get that. That'll never be allowed. 592 00:26:24,482 --> 00:26:27,651 [Christine] The difference was so apparent 593 00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:29,019 when we saw the Dargers. 594 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:30,588 It was just so apparent 595 00:26:30,689 --> 00:26:33,457 that we needed to be around more like-minded people. 596 00:26:33,558 --> 00:26:36,860 When Kody proposed moving back in Vegas, 597 00:26:36,962 --> 00:26:39,730 I, at first, really wanted to go to Utah, too. 598 00:26:39,831 --> 00:26:41,665 But then I thought, you know, I really don't want that life. 599 00:26:41,733 --> 00:26:43,934 I really don't want to be fighting all the time 600 00:26:44,035 --> 00:26:44,868 and feel like I've got 601 00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:46,337 some sword hanging over my head. 602 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:48,339 And, so, I was just too afraid. 603 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,374 I was too afraid to move back to Utah. 604 00:26:50,475 --> 00:26:54,244 [sighs] And then SB102 happened. 605 00:26:54,346 --> 00:26:56,914 And polygamy got decriminalized. 606 00:26:57,649 --> 00:27:01,318 And I wonder why we're still here. 607 00:27:01,419 --> 00:27:04,088 Okay. So, SB102 is a bill that was 608 00:27:04,189 --> 00:27:07,758 um, introduced by a senator, that basically said, 609 00:27:07,859 --> 00:27:09,660 "Let's make polygamy decriminalized." 610 00:27:09,761 --> 00:27:13,497 Polygamy in Utah is just like a speeding ticket. 611 00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:14,531 They're fine 612 00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:17,134 with plural families legally there now. 613 00:27:17,235 --> 00:27:20,070 Oh, my gosh! We can move back home. 614 00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:22,506 We can move back home. 615 00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:23,974 We can be by family again. 616 00:27:24,075 --> 00:27:27,011 We can be back home. 617 00:27:28,346 --> 00:27:29,747 I want to move back. 618 00:27:29,848 --> 00:27:32,049 I think we have a beautiful property here. 619 00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:33,651 I'm not saying we don't. 620 00:27:33,752 --> 00:27:36,720 But we haven't done anything. We've been here for two years. 621 00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:39,089 And we haven't really done anything. 622 00:27:39,190 --> 00:27:42,626 Isn't it obvious that we're not gonna build 623 00:27:42,727 --> 00:27:44,995 on the property to anyone but me? 624 00:27:45,096 --> 00:27:46,964 Are you thinking because we haven't developed yet, 625 00:27:47,065 --> 00:27:48,766 that there's no destiny in us being here, 626 00:27:48,867 --> 00:27:51,268 and thus we should be moving to Utah? 627 00:27:52,103 --> 00:27:53,570 We're not doing anything. 628 00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:55,405 I just feel like if we really were going 629 00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:57,474 to do stuff on the property, 630 00:27:57,575 --> 00:28:00,878 it wouldn't have taken two years to do nothing. 631 00:28:02,881 --> 00:28:05,649 Nothing's happened, so... 632 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:08,118 I think the universe is just saying something here too. 633 00:28:08,219 --> 00:28:10,387 Maybe the angels are singing, "Oh, my gosh! 634 00:28:10,488 --> 00:28:12,556 The law's changed in Utah." 635 00:28:12,657 --> 00:28:15,359 Let's move back, 'cause we haven't done a thing, you know... 636 00:28:16,961 --> 00:28:18,028 [quietly] Yeah. 637 00:28:18,129 --> 00:28:22,900 I'm proposing that we not develop this land, 638 00:28:23,001 --> 00:28:24,535 even though it's wonderful and magical. 639 00:28:24,636 --> 00:28:26,937 And you guys have been dreaming on this land for a long time, 640 00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:28,172 I haven't. 641 00:28:28,273 --> 00:28:30,007 I immediately stopped 642 00:28:30,108 --> 00:28:33,544 because I started dreaming about Utah and going back. 643 00:28:33,645 --> 00:28:37,581 And I'm gonna be honest, I would've already been gone had it just been me, 644 00:28:37,682 --> 00:28:40,350 alone or whatever, I would've been gone. 645 00:28:40,485 --> 00:28:42,786 And you don't think that you would have... 646 00:28:42,887 --> 00:28:45,322 Or, do you think, I guess I should say... 647 00:28:45,423 --> 00:28:50,127 Do you think that just because of a law or a bill, 648 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:53,363 you are going to be accepted, 649 00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:56,200 and can do and say whatever you want 650 00:28:57,469 --> 00:29:00,637 without, like, all the repercussions? 651 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,841 I don't-- I think I'm gonna get that wherever I live. 652 00:29:03,942 --> 00:29:05,042 The kids certainly have. 653 00:29:05,143 --> 00:29:07,878 Ysabel's got so much crap here, at school. 654 00:29:07,979 --> 00:29:10,247 So much crap because of what her parents do. 655 00:29:10,348 --> 00:29:11,348 So much crap. 656 00:29:12,917 --> 00:29:16,120 Gabriel, when Gabriel was still in the public school, 657 00:29:16,221 --> 00:29:20,057 and Savanah have had no problems, no comments, 658 00:29:20,158 --> 00:29:22,526 you know what I mean, about our family. 659 00:29:22,627 --> 00:29:23,861 I'm not saying it didn't happen, 660 00:29:23,962 --> 00:29:26,897 but that's just not been the experience of my kids. 661 00:29:27,532 --> 00:29:29,666 I can't tell... 662 00:29:30,401 --> 00:29:31,835 [sighs in exasperation] 663 00:29:33,571 --> 00:29:39,409 I sort of feel like she's just trying to make the case now to move. 664 00:29:39,511 --> 00:29:41,445 You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. 665 00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:44,848 As much as I would love to live in Utah, 666 00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:50,120 I have to think about the long term effects on Sol and Ari. 667 00:29:50,221 --> 00:29:52,723 You know, 'cause Breanna's just got a couple of years left 668 00:29:52,824 --> 00:29:54,758 before she's out of high school. 669 00:29:54,859 --> 00:29:58,195 And so I would really be worried about, like, 670 00:29:58,329 --> 00:30:01,365 the issues that they would run into 671 00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:04,835 knowing that their parents are polygamous, 672 00:30:04,936 --> 00:30:07,738 and I'd be very, very concerned the whole entire time. 673 00:30:08,606 --> 00:30:10,908 I really do understand. 674 00:30:11,009 --> 00:30:16,046 [sighs] It's really tough because I wish I could move to Utah. 675 00:30:16,147 --> 00:30:19,183 But just because it's mostly decriminalized 676 00:30:19,284 --> 00:30:21,485 doesn't mean there isn't some sort of issue with it. 677 00:30:21,586 --> 00:30:22,953 It's still an infraction. 678 00:30:23,054 --> 00:30:24,888 What if they change it again? 679 00:30:24,989 --> 00:30:31,295 What if something big happens and they find a bunch of stuff and some big-shot comes in 680 00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:34,131 and pushes for something even scarier than ever before, 681 00:30:34,232 --> 00:30:36,033 and we're living there. 682 00:30:36,134 --> 00:30:38,368 There's nothing for me in Utah. 683 00:30:38,469 --> 00:30:39,736 Nothing. 684 00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,638 My children aren't there. 685 00:30:41,739 --> 00:30:43,040 You have a lot of children there. 686 00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:44,875 There's nothing for me there. 687 00:30:44,976 --> 00:30:48,478 This is the dream I always wanted when we lived in Wyoming. 688 00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:52,115 So, the idea of giving this up is making me sort of... 689 00:30:52,217 --> 00:30:53,584 My gut reaction is anger. 690 00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,018 Okay. 691 00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:58,622 And I don't know how to reconcile that and keep everybody happy. 692 00:30:58,723 --> 00:31:00,524 I'm a little bit surprised. 693 00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:02,793 I don't know, just because something changes, 694 00:31:02,894 --> 00:31:06,630 doesn't mean that we uproot and pull those stakes again. 695 00:31:06,731 --> 00:31:09,399 I don't feel any calling to go back to Utah. 696 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:13,103 To me, it just represents loneliness again. 697 00:31:13,204 --> 00:31:17,074 It's the same amount of loneliness to have here, but at least I have this property. 698 00:31:17,175 --> 00:31:20,544 And I'll be living in some sub-division in Utah. Like in some house. 699 00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:22,279 Who knows if we'd even be together. 700 00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:24,181 We've all committed to this land, 701 00:31:24,282 --> 00:31:28,218 and all of a sudden she's like "Well, I think we should just sell it and move to Utah." 702 00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:30,954 Wait a minute! First of all, that's like whiplash. 703 00:31:31,055 --> 00:31:33,557 And then, secondly, 704 00:31:33,658 --> 00:31:37,261 like, what about all the effort and agreements and discussions 705 00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:39,830 that we've had about developing this property, and all of a sudden, 706 00:31:39,931 --> 00:31:42,966 you want to throw it away because some law has changed? 707 00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:45,836 No social rules have changed in Utah. 708 00:31:45,937 --> 00:31:50,073 We will still face stigma. Our kids will still be persecuted in school. 709 00:31:50,174 --> 00:31:52,376 And you wanna go because the law is changed, 710 00:31:52,477 --> 00:31:54,978 and I think it's mostly 'cause her kids are there now. 711 00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:56,680 Honestly, I think that's what it's about. 712 00:31:56,781 --> 00:31:58,415 It's that her kids are there now. 713 00:31:58,516 --> 00:32:03,820 I don't know. I think that once we basically were kicked out of Utah, 714 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,390 I've just kind of had a feeling of, 715 00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:09,359 "I'm not gonna grace you with my presence, then." 716 00:32:09,460 --> 00:32:11,194 I feel like there's a big difference 717 00:32:11,296 --> 00:32:15,332 between me owning a business and providing a home for my mother 718 00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:17,434 and me living in Utah. 719 00:32:17,535 --> 00:32:21,371 I don't live in Utah, and I'm not going to. 720 00:32:21,472 --> 00:32:23,907 [man shouting] Families, not felons! 721 00:32:24,008 --> 00:32:27,744 You wanted to kick us out? Fine, I'll stay out. 722 00:32:27,845 --> 00:32:31,481 I don't need you... [laughs] You know what I mean? 723 00:32:31,582 --> 00:32:35,018 I'm in a place where I feel like my kids, my kids love it here. 724 00:32:35,119 --> 00:32:39,022 This is the most likely place for any of our kids to move back, our adult kids. 725 00:32:39,123 --> 00:32:42,292 For the price, we would never be able to replace this in Utah. 726 00:32:44,562 --> 00:32:48,265 I'm surprised because I thought Kody was more in favor of this. 727 00:32:48,366 --> 00:32:51,335 He's acting like we've never even talked about it and that 728 00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:55,772 he wasn't in favor of it the last time we talked. 729 00:32:57,442 --> 00:33:01,745 [Kody] I am extremely frustrated that now she wants to move to Utah, 730 00:33:01,846 --> 00:33:06,249 after we're really, kind of, very deep in Flagstaff. 731 00:33:06,351 --> 00:33:10,487 We've got so much money strung out on homes and property here. 732 00:33:10,588 --> 00:33:12,322 Now she wants to move. 733 00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:14,691 Present it to your sister wives. 734 00:33:14,792 --> 00:33:17,327 They've always been able to blame me 735 00:33:17,428 --> 00:33:23,100 because that's just one more of the double standards in plural marriage. 736 00:33:23,201 --> 00:33:25,802 Is that the husband always gets blamed. 737 00:33:25,903 --> 00:33:28,472 You have two wives complaining about each other. 738 00:33:28,573 --> 00:33:30,140 Guess what, it's my fault. 739 00:33:30,241 --> 00:33:33,143 Kids, squabbles with kids, it's my fault. 740 00:33:33,244 --> 00:33:35,378 "I need a new job." It's my fault. 741 00:33:35,446 --> 00:33:37,748 Career change, my fault. Everything's my fault. 742 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:42,085 Christine's gonna say this. They're gonna think I put her up to it, 743 00:33:42,186 --> 00:33:44,121 but she owns this 100%. 744 00:33:44,222 --> 00:33:47,924 Finally, it's not my fault. 745 00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,460 Even though you really want to be in Utah more, 746 00:33:50,561 --> 00:33:53,497 could you settle and be here on this property? 747 00:33:53,598 --> 00:33:56,433 - Or is that too much to answer right now? - That's too much. 748 00:33:56,534 --> 00:33:58,168 So you're really-- 749 00:33:58,269 --> 00:34:00,270 Your heart is really with going to Utah? 750 00:34:00,371 --> 00:34:05,409 I've been thinking about it since polygamy got decriminalized. 751 00:34:05,510 --> 00:34:08,345 'Cause to me, it was just the next logical thought 752 00:34:08,446 --> 00:34:10,414 that would make the most sense. 753 00:34:10,515 --> 00:34:16,453 You are considering going there regardless, 754 00:34:16,554 --> 00:34:17,521 or are you? 755 00:34:17,622 --> 00:34:19,156 I don't know, Meri. 756 00:34:21,626 --> 00:34:26,263 If everybody-- Can we sensitively consider, Christine, that you 757 00:34:26,364 --> 00:34:28,665 sort of feel torn? 758 00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:31,368 I don't know if it's "torn" really. That you feel that... 759 00:34:31,469 --> 00:34:35,505 And keep moving forward with this property and just always 760 00:34:35,606 --> 00:34:38,708 keep that thought, that that's what you want. 761 00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:40,077 I mean... 762 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:43,480 - [Christine sobs] - I'm trying to honor you, 763 00:34:43,581 --> 00:34:45,916 but see if we can keep moving forward here. 764 00:34:53,458 --> 00:34:55,692 We're not moving, are we? 765 00:34:57,195 --> 00:34:58,728 [sobbing] 766 00:35:03,234 --> 00:35:06,670 [continues sobbing] 767 00:35:20,585 --> 00:35:22,586 [Christine sobbing quietly] 768 00:35:27,825 --> 00:35:29,493 [continues sobbing] 769 00:35:40,037 --> 00:35:41,705 [Kody] Did you think that everybody else 770 00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:44,174 was going to feel the same way about moving back? 771 00:35:49,313 --> 00:35:52,449 You just anticipated that everybody else would feel the same way 772 00:35:52,550 --> 00:35:56,486 because if the law changed, it'd be easy for us to go back. 773 00:36:01,492 --> 00:36:04,628 I just don't know why Kody's not being supportive. 774 00:36:04,729 --> 00:36:09,466 As just, kind of, a parent-- I don't know. I don't wanna give up hope yet, 775 00:36:09,567 --> 00:36:12,068 but I'm pretty sure-- 776 00:36:12,837 --> 00:36:14,337 I don't know. 777 00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:18,041 When we were there, 778 00:36:18,142 --> 00:36:21,044 you guys all talked about how Utah was home, 779 00:36:21,145 --> 00:36:24,514 and the mountains were home, 780 00:36:24,615 --> 00:36:28,585 and family was there, so I thought that you felt the same. 781 00:36:34,492 --> 00:36:37,627 I'm sorry. I just don't even know how to... 782 00:36:39,997 --> 00:36:41,965 how to make this okay for you. 783 00:36:44,101 --> 00:36:46,403 Um... 784 00:36:46,504 --> 00:36:49,339 So when we went, I mean, it did feel like that, but it's just-- 785 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,676 It's home, but it's not friendly. 786 00:36:53,377 --> 00:36:55,078 That's how I feel. 787 00:36:55,179 --> 00:36:58,481 I mean, there's a part of it that will always be home to me. 788 00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:00,083 Always. 789 00:37:00,184 --> 00:37:05,989 But it's not friendly to us and... 790 00:37:06,090 --> 00:37:08,592 I don't know. I just don't know how to... 791 00:37:11,629 --> 00:37:14,331 feel comfortable doing that to my kids. 792 00:37:22,873 --> 00:37:24,507 I don't know. 793 00:37:25,876 --> 00:37:28,245 Come here. Come here, come here, come here, come here. 794 00:37:28,346 --> 00:37:29,346 [Christine] Oh, God. 795 00:37:29,447 --> 00:37:31,214 - [Meri] Come here. - [Christine] What? 796 00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:37,287 I don't know what just happened. 797 00:37:37,388 --> 00:37:40,423 I mean, I'm sitting here going "Wait a second, 798 00:37:40,524 --> 00:37:43,460 Why didn't you pitch it to 'em? You were enthusiastic about it." 799 00:37:43,561 --> 00:37:46,096 It seems like she didn't even try. 800 00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:53,103 Meri, I can't do marriage with Kody any more. I don't wanna-- 801 00:37:53,204 --> 00:37:55,805 - [Meri] Just look at the mountain. - I don't wanna do it any more. 802 00:37:56,974 --> 00:37:59,209 - [Meri] Don't talk about that. - [scoffs] 803 00:38:00,077 --> 00:38:01,611 [Meri] Just look at the mountain. 804 00:38:01,712 --> 00:38:04,547 [Christine sobbing] That's what you saw that day. 805 00:38:04,649 --> 00:38:06,349 I can't go there today. 806 00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:08,585 Don't go there. 807 00:38:08,686 --> 00:38:10,220 Just go with the mountain. 808 00:38:11,422 --> 00:38:13,023 That's it. 809 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:14,291 [quietly] It's not enough. 810 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,160 It's not enough. 811 00:38:19,096 --> 00:38:21,364 - Then make it enough. - But it's not. 812 00:38:21,465 --> 00:38:25,168 Then make it. You don't get to give up like that. 813 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,407 Why? 814 00:38:30,508 --> 00:38:32,142 'Cause you're not a quitter. 815 00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,644 Why is it quitting? 816 00:38:35,946 --> 00:38:37,514 'Cause it's quitting. 817 00:38:41,018 --> 00:38:42,719 Look at me. 818 00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:44,754 You know where I am. 819 00:38:44,855 --> 00:38:46,790 You know where I have been. 820 00:38:55,466 --> 00:38:57,200 Or are you just hurting? 821 00:38:57,301 --> 00:38:58,601 I'm just hurting. 822 00:38:58,703 --> 00:39:02,272 Then you can't say what you want or don't want at this point. 823 00:39:03,841 --> 00:39:05,975 Okay? You don't get to say that. 824 00:39:11,782 --> 00:39:13,717 I don't feel like this any more. 825 00:39:13,818 --> 00:39:15,785 - I don't feel like-- - 'Cause you're hurting. 826 00:39:15,886 --> 00:39:19,689 And when you're hurting, you can't be real with your feelings. 827 00:39:23,728 --> 00:39:26,329 - I promise. - Or it's just changed. 828 00:39:27,898 --> 00:39:29,799 - Are you hurting right now? - Yes. 829 00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:31,735 Then you're hurting. 830 00:39:31,836 --> 00:39:33,770 - It's not change, you're just hurting. - So what does that mean? 831 00:39:33,871 --> 00:39:36,039 - I don't wanna hurt any more. - It means you need to fill hole-- 832 00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:38,408 Then you're giving up if you're just hurting. 833 00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:40,176 Maybe it's not giving up. 834 00:39:40,845 --> 00:39:42,846 - It is. - Maybe it's not. 835 00:39:44,949 --> 00:39:47,350 Maybe it just looks different. 836 00:39:47,451 --> 00:39:48,952 And it's fine with looking different. 837 00:39:49,053 --> 00:39:51,388 I don't believe that "look different" crap. 838 00:39:51,489 --> 00:39:53,189 I do not believe that. 839 00:39:54,091 --> 00:39:56,926 People say it, but I do not believe it. 840 00:39:56,994 --> 00:39:58,328 [sighs in exasperation] I don't-- 841 00:39:58,996 --> 00:40:00,263 I just don't. 842 00:40:03,701 --> 00:40:05,268 I don't wanna look at the mountains 843 00:40:05,369 --> 00:40:08,037 and remember the angels, how they were singing, 844 00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:10,006 and I felt this pull. 845 00:40:10,107 --> 00:40:12,275 I agreed to move to Flagstaff. 846 00:40:13,010 --> 00:40:14,711 And I followed Kody here. 847 00:40:17,882 --> 00:40:21,050 But it's been a struggle the whole time. 848 00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:23,520 I'm tired of feeling like I don't matter. 849 00:40:23,621 --> 00:40:27,557 I'm tired of not having his support when I really need it. 850 00:40:30,494 --> 00:40:31,961 I'm just tired. 851 00:40:32,062 --> 00:40:33,963 I need a partnership. I need... 852 00:40:34,899 --> 00:40:36,599 something different than this. 853 00:40:38,836 --> 00:40:40,270 I get things change. 854 00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:45,308 And I get "hurt". Okay? 855 00:40:45,409 --> 00:40:50,046 But that doesn't mean deep down there's not something that really you want. 856 00:40:50,147 --> 00:40:52,549 And that you can fight for, and that you can work for. 857 00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:54,517 But you have to do it in your heart. 858 00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:56,719 You have to do the work. 859 00:41:01,058 --> 00:41:02,592 And it's hard. 860 00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:05,094 And you can't give up. 861 00:41:07,231 --> 00:41:11,835 And you're not by that. It looks so different than "It can change." 862 00:41:12,336 --> 00:41:14,037 I made a commitment. 863 00:41:15,673 --> 00:41:18,675 I made a commitment to Kody, I made a commitment to the family. 864 00:41:18,776 --> 00:41:22,545 I made a commitment to Janelle, and Christine, and Robyn. 865 00:41:22,646 --> 00:41:26,516 To me, that's what family is about. 866 00:41:26,617 --> 00:41:30,520 You didn't put 30 years into this... 25, 28, wherever you are-- 867 00:41:30,621 --> 00:41:32,522 To walk away. 868 00:41:32,623 --> 00:41:35,258 I didn't put 30 years in to walk away. 869 00:41:45,769 --> 00:41:47,437 - Okay? - Okay. 870 00:41:56,614 --> 00:41:59,849 [Christine] I appreciate everything Meri is saying, I do. 871 00:41:59,950 --> 00:42:01,918 She's lived through a lot. 872 00:42:05,756 --> 00:42:10,059 But her relationship with Kody certainly isn't one that I would want. 873 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:14,130 And the relationship that I have with Kody isn't what I would want either. 874 00:42:16,433 --> 00:42:18,167 What I have here... 875 00:42:21,305 --> 00:42:23,306 is not what I want right now. 876 00:42:25,809 --> 00:42:27,777 [birds chirping]