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Previously
onSister Wives...
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For three years now,
I've been trying to
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explain to my wives
that we're going
to leave Las Vegas.
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We just got to Flagstaff.
We've invested everything.
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Basically, we're paying
five mortgages with our land.
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This is where we need
to have a drink
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of something alcohol related.
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Like, we're in this fix,
we're in this mess.
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It's time for
the baby to be born.
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Honey,
she's so beautiful!
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What in the world is
going on with my daughter?
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What is really
wrong with her?
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You know, I've got
a million questions
going through my mind.
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All I can do
is sit and watch.
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And here we go.
There's the house.
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Holy cow,
he's trying to get us
into one house.
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I don't want
to live together again.
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You and Christine are
leaving on a hot date.
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-And everybody
gets to line up.
-Everybody gets to watch?
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Everybody gets to
line up and watch.
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Don't look out the damn door
if you don't want to see
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someone clearly being
with another wife on a date.
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I really want to get down
to some real answers here.
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What's killing this dream?
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No privacy for you.
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She's saying
my privacy
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because she doesn't want
to see me with another wife.
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Coyote Pass
is property that we bought
in Flagstaff.
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It's beautiful.
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It's a bunch of acres
where we can finally build
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and be all together again.
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I suggested a place for you.
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Uh-huh.
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You suggested
that you were into that.
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So, somebody else said,
"Well, I would like
to be there."
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So, I've gone
to Meri and said,
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"We could build the house
right here," you know.
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And Meri,
at that point, went,
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"I don't want
to build a house
right there anymore."
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No, but you told me
Meri doesn't want
to be back here--
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Which he relayed
the conversation a while, FYI.
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Can I talk for a second?
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I feel like I'm being
jerked around a little bit.
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Stop defending Meri.
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Stop acting like you're
not getting the
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-end of the stick here.
-I'm not.
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I'm in trouble for trying
to accommodate Meri.
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Meri is my sister wife,
and I'm always going to try
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and work stuff out with her,
even if it's not easy.
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For me, right now,
I don't feel like a family.
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We moved to Flagstaff
over a year ago
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and the family's
been separate,
we've been apart.
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In different houses.
We're about 5, 10,
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15 miles from each other
in different directions.
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I'm currently
renting the home
that I'm trying to buy.
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I have
bought my home,
so I'm, like, secure.
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And Janelle and I are
both renting at this point.
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Yeah. So, at this point,
Kody is driving
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between the houses every day.
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So, he's
just constantly on the go.
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And then, that means
that when he's at
each wife's house,
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he has to stay
like super present
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and attentive and everything.
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He's exhausted.
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'Cause he's going from house
to house to house again.
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When
we moved to Flagstaff,
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we bought property
and we had goals
of actually building,
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hopes of making things happen.
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But we end up in four
different rentals,
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pretty far from each other.
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And, to make things worse,
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the family doesn't feel like
they're connected in any way.
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You know, everything
is kind of falling apart,
all of our plans.
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You know, we figured
we'd sell our property
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in a couple of months
in Las Vegas.
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Then we would all have money
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to be able to start building
homes in Flagstaff.
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We get to Flagstaff,
the homes don't sell
in Las Vegas.
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They just take forever.
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You know, and it just
goes on and on and on.
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I mean, we're just strung out.
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Like, I'm... I'm verging
on the point of just
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mental exhaustion 'cause
there's constant grind.
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It's not
just that we're
geographically different,
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because I expected
geographically different.
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But what I didn't expect
was to feel isolated
and feel separate.
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It just feels separate.
It feels lonely.
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Because of the distance,
it's also...
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It's making it really,
really easy for us to
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just start living
our separate lives.
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It's really starting
to affect our culture
as a family.
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Aurora, come here!
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So, the house
we're currently living in
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is a short-term rental,
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but it's also the house
we're trying to buy.
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We expected to close,
like, in a week,
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but it's been now a month.
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Is that dad?
Yes.
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Okay, he's going
to basically turn around
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and back up to this.
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Make sure the kids are
out of his way, okay?
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-It's crazy.
Yeah.
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Well, it's taking away money
that we need to live on.
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So, here's the truck.
This is the last stuff.
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What... What were we looking
for when we went out there
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a few weeks ago?
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Just anything for the kids.
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Like, we're just
looking for--
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Well, I can see the clothes.
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Okay.
-Yeah. So...
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We're renting trucks.
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We didn't realize that
we'd have them out this long,
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but we're renting trucks.
They're costing us
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a lot of money,
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and we have to renew
that every week
that we don't close.
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Hey, Lars.
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It looks weird.
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Well, Aurora,
stacking them neatly.
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Since when
are you unloading stuff?
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Kody's wanting to,
like, bring stuff
into the house.
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No, no, no.
We're not unloading
these trucks
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until this is
a for sure thing.
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Everything stays
on the truck,
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except for the couple
things we're needing.
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Just think of it
as a positive affirmation...
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Okay.
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...that we're
going to be unloading.
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You don't know
what the situation is.
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I don't want to haul
this stuff back out
if this doesn't work.
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I don't know
what else to do.
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This is kind
of a weird situation.
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We're just trying to
get some of you guy's clothes.
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This underwriting
situation with us
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financing this house
is very unusual.
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No, I don't think so.
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Well, for...
for most people.
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-It's not unusual for us.
-Not for us.
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What we've discovered
is that, um, because
I'm so intertwined
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financially with
all the wives,
and interconnected,
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that any time I'm involved
in financing something,
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it... it's...
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Very confusing for anybody
who looks at our finances.
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Just... And the reason isn't
that we're doing bad finances.
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-No.
-It's because our family
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tax return is 50 pages.
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And I think it's also
because we're a plural family,
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and our paperwork
is complicated
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because Kody is connected
to all of his wives
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financially in different ways.
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So, they keep asking for
more stuff, and more stuff,
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and more stuff,
and it's starting to spread
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into the other wives as well,
like Janelle, and Meri,
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and Christine.
Everybody is just...
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I think,
after this experience,
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I'm finally going to say,
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"Wives, you each finance
your own home alone,
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-and keep me off of it."
-That'd be a good idea.
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It's a little bit harder
for us right now in Flagstaff
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'cause Kody's name is on
so many of the properties.
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Our finances just all
are this big spider web
with each other.
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So, yeah, it makes
it a little bit difficult.
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I assume it adds to it
if Kody's name
is on several houses,
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it's going to
complicate things.
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I keep looking for rentals
every day just in case.
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I keep thinking maybe
God has another plan,
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but Kody gets mad every time
I do because...
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Well, the funny thing
is I'm doing it.
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To be honest with you,
we're at this point now
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where we've gone so long,
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that if we found
a house that was better,
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that we could rent,
we might jump on it.
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You know,
when we were in Vegas,
we didn't know how
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it was going to work out,
and it was hard.
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It was really hard.
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And now it's easy
to look back at Vegas
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and say,
"Oh, it was awesome."
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We were forced
to Las Vegas.
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We chose to move here.
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It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
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So here we are,
we made a decision.
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It's like, it's hard.
Yeah, it is,
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but why are we being
so wussy about it?
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I'm sorry, guys, let's
buckle up and make it work.
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If we don't close,
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we're going to have to load
everything back up,
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and go somewhere else.
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I'm... I'm stuck
in the middle.
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We know we can't
go back to our old house.
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We're daily rent on the house
we're trying to buy,
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but I don't know
if it's one week,
two weeks, three weeks.
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It's been so much longer
than I thought it'd be,
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that I don't know where
my breaking point will be
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where I just say to Robyn,
or Robyn says to me,
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"Let's just take our stuff,
go somewhere else."
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We've been up
in the air for so long
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that we are unable
to make a commitment
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to what our goal is.
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No, we're committed
to this house
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if this is what
God wants us to do.
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Uh...
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I don't think God's working
with us very well that way.
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I don't think
we're working with him.
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I think he wants
us to decide,
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and commit to it.
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-Well, I kind of did.
-And our indecision
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is sort of wishy-washiness.
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I wasn't undecided
until I didn't have
a decision, so...
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Aurora,
take that to Mom's room.
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You know,
we have this whole idea,
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"We've got to get
in the property,
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we are getting
on the property,"
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and I don't think
that's the right goal.
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But I think the situation
really is
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that we've sort
of become lackluster
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about our relationship.
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We need to fix things now.
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You know, I just get
really frustrated
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'cause I feel like
we signed up for something
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when we decided
to be a plural family,
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and it just seems like
we're all sort of like,
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"Whatever,
let's just let it happen.
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We're going to
just roll with it,"
and I don't like that,
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so, I'm going to have
a conversation with my family.
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You know,
Janelle told me
that she wanted to
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get everybody together
to have a conversation,
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and she was going to ask
some tough questions.
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That's what
she freaking told me.
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My eye's twitching,
I'm so nervous about...
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About... Whoa!
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So, am I looking forward
to this conversation? No.
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So, I've been thinking,
how do I start this?
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'Cause I need to communicate
where I'm coming from.
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It has
been a long time
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since the five
of us got together.
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It might have been, I think...
I don't know how long.
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Months?
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We don't really
get together a whole lot.
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Janelle's invited
us to go to lunch today.
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It makes me think
that she wants to just,
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like, just catch up with us,
241
00:10:32,068 --> 00:10:33,724
or there might be
something going on
242
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,034
that she wants
to talk to us about.
243
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,413
I do have something to say.
244
00:10:37,448 --> 00:10:39,689
And now I've been praying
the whole way over here,
245
00:10:39,724 --> 00:10:41,344
trying to make
sure I can communicate
246
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:43,000
what I have to say right.
247
00:10:43,034 --> 00:10:45,137
My eye's twitching,
I'm so nervous about...
248
00:10:45,689 --> 00:10:47,620
About... Whoa!
249
00:10:47,655 --> 00:10:49,241
Like my eye's been
twitching all day.
250
00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:50,655
Now, Janelle,
the question is,
251
00:10:50,689 --> 00:10:53,206
-should we be nervous too?
-No, no, no!
252
00:10:53,241 --> 00:10:55,517
I don't know why Janelle's
asked us all to join her
253
00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:58,517
for lunch other than
she just wants
to get together.
254
00:10:58,551 --> 00:11:01,827
We just finished this
whole one home discussion,
255
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:04,827
and maybe she just wants
to pick the pieces back up
256
00:11:04,862 --> 00:11:08,103
and talk about
family things.
257
00:11:09,241 --> 00:11:11,137
So, I've been thinking,
how do I start this?
258
00:11:11,172 --> 00:11:13,724
'Cause I need to communicate
where I'm coming from.
259
00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:15,034
And I guess
what I want to say is,
260
00:11:15,068 --> 00:11:17,310
why did you enter
the principle?
261
00:11:19,724 --> 00:11:20,862
Whoa.
262
00:11:20,896 --> 00:11:23,034
I wonder where
she's going with this.
263
00:11:26,172 --> 00:11:28,862
"The principle,"
for us, is the real term
for plural marriage.
264
00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:30,758
It's the principle
of plural marriage.
265
00:11:30,793 --> 00:11:32,827
I mean, it's really a gospel
principle for us
266
00:11:32,862 --> 00:11:36,034
so, in our community,
it's shortened to
"the principle."
267
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:38,034
No, I am surprised.
I did not know
268
00:11:38,068 --> 00:11:40,000
what her questions would be.
269
00:11:40,896 --> 00:11:42,000
Wow. Okay.
270
00:11:43,758 --> 00:11:46,034
I mean, I did it because
I love the whole idea
271
00:11:46,068 --> 00:11:48,413
of the whole family,
and this whole group synergy,
272
00:11:48,448 --> 00:11:50,827
and I really felt like
we would get
progression, right?
273
00:11:50,862 --> 00:11:52,655
The whole idea is
that we overcome our crap.
274
00:11:52,689 --> 00:11:54,275
Yeah.
-The whole purpose,
275
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:57,965
we truly believe,
of living a plural marriage
276
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,344
is that you have to learn
how to not be selfish.
277
00:12:01,379 --> 00:12:02,758
I mean, I don't know.
278
00:12:02,793 --> 00:12:04,724
I guess, for me,
it's just, like,
279
00:12:05,827 --> 00:12:07,689
being raised in it.
280
00:12:07,724 --> 00:12:10,620
My dad took
his first plural wife
281
00:12:10,655 --> 00:12:12,172
when I was like 11-years-old.
282
00:12:13,241 --> 00:12:16,172
I had a lot of years
with other moms,
283
00:12:16,206 --> 00:12:20,310
and other siblings
that weren't just from my mom.
284
00:12:20,344 --> 00:12:23,241
So, it wasn't out
of the ordinary for me.
285
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:26,068
I like the example of how
my grandmas were, for sure.
286
00:12:26,103 --> 00:12:28,551
They were just really close
and, after my grandpa died,
287
00:12:28,586 --> 00:12:32,275
they just stayed together.
So, I like the sisterhood.
288
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:35,206
To me,
that's what family was.
It was a lot of grandmas.
289
00:12:35,241 --> 00:12:37,344
Then I had two moms
and, so,
290
00:12:37,379 --> 00:12:41,103
that's what a normal family
was to me, was a lot of moms.
291
00:12:41,137 --> 00:12:44,034
The big family thing
was always really cool to me.
292
00:12:45,344 --> 00:12:48,034
I loved when
I first met you guys,
293
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,344
how you guys functioned.
294
00:12:49,379 --> 00:12:50,448
I loved it.
295
00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:52,379
Hmm.
296
00:12:52,413 --> 00:12:54,793
You know, when I saw you
guys at the house in Lehi.
297
00:12:55,413 --> 00:12:56,862
We seemed so functional.
298
00:12:57,551 --> 00:12:58,620
See?
299
00:12:58,655 --> 00:13:00,793
Boy, we pulled
the wool over your eyes.
300
00:13:00,827 --> 00:13:02,172
Oh, my Gosh. Wow.
301
00:13:02,206 --> 00:13:03,965
I never said that!
302
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,586
I still think that still...
That still exists.
303
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,241
I've thought about
this a lot lately
304
00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:10,758
because I've told
friends recently
305
00:13:10,793 --> 00:13:13,103
that I didn't want
to be an advocate
306
00:13:13,137 --> 00:13:14,965
of plural marriage anymore,
307
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,034
because I am more aware
now than I ever was before
308
00:13:19,034 --> 00:13:21,724
of the apparent
309
00:13:22,827 --> 00:13:25,413
and obvious unfairness
in the relationship.
310
00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:27,413
Some are up,
some are down,
but it's, you know,
311
00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:30,206
-it's always changing.
I know I have
312
00:13:30,241 --> 00:13:31,896
all the love I want,
313
00:13:31,931 --> 00:13:35,000
and you guys sometimes
feel like you're pining
314
00:13:35,034 --> 00:13:39,000
constantly for me to,
you know, give you some.
315
00:13:39,034 --> 00:13:41,275
I mean, the other day
I was having dinner with Logan
316
00:13:41,310 --> 00:13:44,137
and I was like going,
"I've really messed this up."
317
00:13:44,172 --> 00:13:47,482
We came into this
by way of commandment.
318
00:13:47,517 --> 00:13:49,172
We felt like we were
supposed to live it
319
00:13:49,206 --> 00:13:52,724
and we had an ideal,
that it was a better way,
320
00:13:52,758 --> 00:13:56,586
and then come
to a stark reality
321
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:59,137
of the struggle that it is.
322
00:14:02,586 --> 00:14:05,172
In that vein, I want to go
to my wives and say,
323
00:14:05,206 --> 00:14:07,034
"Did you marry
me because you thought
324
00:14:07,068 --> 00:14:10,000
you would have a good life
and a loving husband,
325
00:14:10,034 --> 00:14:11,517
and a good relationship
with me?
326
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:15,448
Or did you marry me
because your religion
commanded it?"
327
00:14:15,482 --> 00:14:18,241
Plural marriage,
what I know about it,
328
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:22,068
I wonder if
I would do it again,
knowing what I know,
329
00:14:22,103 --> 00:14:25,827
knowing how I think
it's hard on all of you.
330
00:14:28,275 --> 00:14:31,275
There's no such thing
as "Should've done
something different."
331
00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:32,724
It just doesn't work.
It doesn't...
332
00:14:32,758 --> 00:14:35,586
You can't say,
"I don't know if I
would've done it different,"
333
00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:38,137
'cause here we are.
It's a hard one to hear.
334
00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:40,068
That's super hard to hear.
335
00:14:40,103 --> 00:14:43,862
I do not like the idea
336
00:14:43,896 --> 00:14:46,379
that you guys are in a plural
marriage with me
337
00:14:46,413 --> 00:14:48,448
because you were commanded to.
338
00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:52,379
I like the idea that we were
in plural marriage together
339
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,931
because we were in love
340
00:14:53,965 --> 00:14:56,724
and we chose to build
a family together.
341
00:14:56,758 --> 00:15:00,655
He seems
a little bit more,
dare I say negative
342
00:15:00,689 --> 00:15:04,241
about plural marriage
right now, and that's
really hard to hear.
343
00:15:05,413 --> 00:15:08,241
When I... When we're
doing good, I get idealistic
344
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,896
and I go, "Wow,
we're doing a good job."
345
00:15:09,931 --> 00:15:12,448
And when I'm ideal and
we're not doing a good job,
346
00:15:12,482 --> 00:15:13,931
I get really grouchy and say,
347
00:15:13,965 --> 00:15:16,862
"I can't believe I've done
this to me and to you."
348
00:15:18,172 --> 00:15:20,172
Like, saying
that right here,
349
00:15:20,206 --> 00:15:22,827
I don't know necessarily
if that's helpful,
350
00:15:22,862 --> 00:15:24,931
other than just making us
all feel a little bit,
351
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:26,344
you know, discouraged.
352
00:15:27,275 --> 00:15:29,758
So, it's like
a two-edged sword.
353
00:15:29,793 --> 00:15:32,655
I like... Don't get me
wrong, I like my life.
354
00:15:32,689 --> 00:15:34,551
If you guys complain
to me very much,
355
00:15:34,586 --> 00:15:37,655
it sticks in my head
and I wonder
if you like yours.
356
00:15:39,413 --> 00:15:40,586
This is,
like, pointless.
357
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:43,172
What was the point of this?
Did I screw everybody up?
358
00:15:43,206 --> 00:15:45,310
I think it's because he feels
all the pressure right now
359
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:47,241
of everybody talking to him
360
00:15:47,275 --> 00:15:50,137
because he's the only
common denominator.
361
00:15:50,172 --> 00:15:52,241
He's the only one
I can talk to.
362
00:15:52,275 --> 00:15:54,758
But maybe
the next question is,
do you think our family
363
00:15:54,793 --> 00:15:55,931
feels like it used to?
364
00:15:55,965 --> 00:15:57,310
Like when
you first met us, Robyn.
365
00:15:57,344 --> 00:15:59,586
Does it feel like
that in our family now?
366
00:16:02,931 --> 00:16:04,586
We're not
doing anything together.
367
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:08,000
Then it's super stressful,
when we do do stuff together,
it's not easy.
368
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:10,172
I mean, it's obvious,
you know? Janelle sees too
369
00:16:10,206 --> 00:16:12,137
that we do things separately.
370
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,413
I mean, just getting
us together again
371
00:16:14,448 --> 00:16:17,413
for a simple dinner
took months.
372
00:16:17,448 --> 00:16:21,000
I feel like it changed
when we moved to Vegas.
373
00:16:21,034 --> 00:16:22,724
I was pretty lonely
in the cul-de-sac.
374
00:16:23,586 --> 00:16:25,896
I was pretty lonely.
375
00:16:25,931 --> 00:16:30,034
That feeling of being separate
really started in Vegas.
376
00:16:30,068 --> 00:16:31,827
I've never been so depressed.
377
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:38,310
There wasn't
the day-to-day rub.
378
00:16:38,344 --> 00:16:40,000
You know, all sitting
down to dinner together.
379
00:16:40,034 --> 00:16:42,896
There wasn't some of
those things happening
and it changed.
380
00:16:42,931 --> 00:16:46,413
All of a sudden,
it became the same family,
but living separate.
381
00:16:46,448 --> 00:16:50,000
My thoughts were more
about the family as a whole.
382
00:16:50,034 --> 00:16:53,206
There was
a desperation in our lives
that forced us
383
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,068
to be connected.
384
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:59,275
Up until we moved
to Las Vegas,
385
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,137
we had this culture
within our family,
386
00:17:02,172 --> 00:17:04,586
and it was something
that we started out.
387
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:06,517
This was the one thing
that Kody was
388
00:17:06,551 --> 00:17:10,034
always so firm about,
"we're going to be
one family."
389
00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:14,862
And when we moved to Vegas,
it was like our older kids
390
00:17:14,896 --> 00:17:19,793
already had that bond
because they were
together all the time.
391
00:17:19,827 --> 00:17:23,758
And then I started seeing
things kind of change
392
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,068
because now we're
in four separate homes,
393
00:17:26,103 --> 00:17:28,448
and that next group of kids
394
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:32,068
didn't have
that same type of bonding.
395
00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:35,517
Because we don't need
each other as much,
we've lost something.
396
00:17:35,551 --> 00:17:37,931
And I don't know
what the solution is.
397
00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:39,931
Of course,
I'm an advocate
of the one home,
398
00:17:39,965 --> 00:17:42,896
but I'm not saying
that is the answer here.
I'm not.
399
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,275
Because I think it can
work but, of course,
400
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:47,068
it's not going
to work unless...
401
00:17:47,103 --> 00:17:49,068
So, please know that
this is not a conversation
402
00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:50,586
about "let's have one home."
403
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:53,655
I think the whole one
house discussion is,
404
00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:56,172
um, sort of stimulating some
thought in Janelle's mind.
405
00:17:56,206 --> 00:17:57,724
And I get where
she's coming from
406
00:17:57,758 --> 00:17:59,172
because I have
the same struggle.
407
00:17:59,206 --> 00:18:01,206
How do we quantify
ourselves as a family
408
00:18:01,241 --> 00:18:03,310
when we don't live
in one home?
409
00:18:03,344 --> 00:18:06,862
So, and here we go.
There's the house.
410
00:18:06,896 --> 00:18:09,137
Holy cow, he's trying
to get us into one house.
411
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,793
I'm so not interested.
412
00:18:14,448 --> 00:18:15,931
Uncomfortable.
413
00:18:15,965 --> 00:18:18,310
It's uncomfortable.
It's an uncomfortable topic.
414
00:18:18,344 --> 00:18:20,620
But there's something
fundamentally going wrong,
415
00:18:20,655 --> 00:18:23,724
and I feel like... I feel
like we have tribalism
going in in our family.
416
00:18:23,758 --> 00:18:26,000
Like, we're breaking
into the Christine tribe,
417
00:18:26,034 --> 00:18:27,482
the Robyn tribe,
the Meri tribe,
418
00:18:27,517 --> 00:18:29,344
the Janelle tribe,
where you are the chief.
419
00:18:29,379 --> 00:18:31,793
And, in a way, it's like
we're not... We are unified
420
00:18:31,827 --> 00:18:34,827
but there's still a lot
of agendas going on,
a lot of...
421
00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:36,758
Like, for me.
I know this about me.
422
00:18:36,793 --> 00:18:40,206
If I really look at myself,
423
00:18:40,241 --> 00:18:43,862
I have to be aware
that I'm not always thinking
about family first
424
00:18:43,896 --> 00:18:45,620
like I used to.
425
00:18:46,965 --> 00:18:51,137
It wasn't like it was all,
like, fairytales and ice cream
426
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,068
when we were
all living together,
but we were committed.
427
00:18:54,103 --> 00:18:55,827
Hey, Meri, I need you
to chime in here
428
00:18:55,862 --> 00:18:59,172
'cause I know that you used
to have thoughts here,
about this.
429
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,206
Come on, Meri,
don't leave me hanging now
430
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,000
'cause you said
the same thing to me.
431
00:19:03,034 --> 00:19:06,137
I'm having a hard time
remembering this conversation
432
00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:10,965
that I had with Janelle,
but I do agree with her.
433
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,068
When did we talk?
434
00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:14,379
We were on
the couch, actually.
435
00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:16,793
And you commented that
you thought it felt different.
436
00:19:16,827 --> 00:19:18,931
Gosh, why do I not
remember this conversation?
437
00:19:18,965 --> 00:19:21,172
It's weird to me that
she doesn't remember.
438
00:19:21,206 --> 00:19:22,793
-Don't leave me hanging, man.
-I'm not.
439
00:19:22,827 --> 00:19:24,172
-You're my wingman.
-I'm not.
440
00:19:25,448 --> 00:19:27,620
I'm not doing it on purpose,
I'm just trying to remember.
441
00:19:27,655 --> 00:19:30,448
Janelle's placing herself
in a very vulnerable position
442
00:19:30,482 --> 00:19:32,103
asking everybody
to participate,
443
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:35,137
and I think Meri is
just afraid to be
vulnerable with this.
444
00:19:35,172 --> 00:19:37,241
Let's open up the problem,
let's discuss it
445
00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:39,793
because we've been ignoring
it for a long time.
446
00:19:39,827 --> 00:19:42,517
Um, I think, in our family,
that everybody should feel
447
00:19:42,551 --> 00:19:44,896
like they should
be able to bring this up.
448
00:19:44,931 --> 00:19:48,724
So why are we afraid
of even bringing
something like this up?
449
00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:51,965
Because we are
in four separate homes,
450
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,448
we just started escaping.
451
00:19:54,482 --> 00:19:55,896
It was easy.
452
00:19:56,724 --> 00:19:58,931
I don't get
a phone call from Kody
453
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,068
except for if it's business.
454
00:20:01,103 --> 00:20:05,827
Like, we're not putting
just that tiny
little effort in.
455
00:20:05,862 --> 00:20:09,482
We're not sending
a text to a sister wife.
456
00:20:09,517 --> 00:20:14,793
We have to take those
steps to just be friends.
457
00:20:14,827 --> 00:20:16,965
And we're not doing
that with each other.
458
00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:19,965
You don't
think we feel the same?
459
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,551
I don't feel like
we feel the same.
460
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:24,482
What do you think
is changing, though?
461
00:20:24,517 --> 00:20:26,931
What do you think...
You think it's distance.
462
00:20:26,965 --> 00:20:28,931
'Cause I'm not gonna
let you get away from it.
463
00:20:28,965 --> 00:20:30,724
Oh, no.
It feels different to me.
464
00:20:30,758 --> 00:20:33,068
But you guys
all know how I feel.
465
00:20:33,103 --> 00:20:36,896
I don't feel like I have
the family community
466
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:39,551
like we had in Las Vegas.
467
00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:41,827
I also don't have
friends here.
468
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000
So, I don't
have a community here.
469
00:20:45,034 --> 00:20:48,448
I've realized
I think our family
started feeling different
470
00:20:48,482 --> 00:20:52,137
the minute we moved to Vegas
and we were more separated.
471
00:20:52,172 --> 00:20:54,344
Okay. So, can I address
the pink elephant
472
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,551
I think that's in the room?
473
00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:57,241
Are you trying to say
this is because of me
474
00:20:57,275 --> 00:20:59,655
-coming into the family?
No. Oh, no.
475
00:20:59,689 --> 00:21:01,137
-Mm-mm.
-I'm sorry if you think
476
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:03,448
that's the pink elephant
that's in the room right now.
477
00:21:06,827 --> 00:21:09,689
So, in Vegas, when Kody
was there, it was all...
478
00:21:09,724 --> 00:21:12,413
It got super stressful,
and that's like how it is now.
479
00:21:12,448 --> 00:21:16,000
We only see him like
once or twice a week.
It's just stressful.
480
00:21:16,034 --> 00:21:18,793
The complaint
about Vegas was
that I wasn't settling.
481
00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:21,172
-Do you feel like you settled?
-Yeah.
482
00:21:21,206 --> 00:21:23,448
I guess I wouldn't know
'cause you're always
holding your phone.
483
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:25,931
I'm always just looking
for a fight, apparently.
484
00:21:33,379 --> 00:21:36,827
I've realized
I think our family
started feeling different
485
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:40,517
the minute we moved to Vegas
and we were more separated.
486
00:21:40,551 --> 00:21:42,448
Okay. So, can I address
the pink elephant
487
00:21:42,482 --> 00:21:44,689
I think that's in the room?
Are you guys trying to say
488
00:21:44,724 --> 00:21:46,517
it's because of me coming
into the family?
489
00:21:46,551 --> 00:21:49,379
-Oh, no, no, no. No. Mm-mm.
-I'm sorry if you think
490
00:21:49,413 --> 00:21:51,758
that's the pink elephant
that's in the room right now.
491
00:21:51,793 --> 00:21:54,137
No. Oh, no. No,
Robyn. No.
492
00:21:54,172 --> 00:21:56,517
No, I think that Vegas
is what happened.
493
00:21:56,551 --> 00:22:01,137
No, no, no, no.
No, it's not you! No!
494
00:22:01,172 --> 00:22:04,689
No, that was not my intention
of this conversation.
495
00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:06,068
No.
496
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,586
How's it going?
497
00:22:15,827 --> 00:22:18,379
When I came
into the family,
498
00:22:18,413 --> 00:22:20,655
there was a lot of things
that happened all at once.
499
00:22:21,655 --> 00:22:24,620
We got you a little
welcome-to-the-club gift.
500
00:22:29,103 --> 00:22:30,862
They're
announcing to the world
501
00:22:30,896 --> 00:22:33,758
that they're polygamists,
and it's pretty scary.
502
00:22:33,793 --> 00:22:36,724
Monday night we got word
that the police department,
503
00:22:36,758 --> 00:22:40,413
um, is due to
investigation into the family.
504
00:22:40,448 --> 00:22:41,689
Somebody's
asking me
505
00:22:41,724 --> 00:22:43,448
if my mother is going
to jail today.
506
00:22:45,413 --> 00:22:47,620
We need to get all the rest
of Robyn's stuff in.
507
00:22:50,689 --> 00:22:53,241
I never know
if it was these other things
508
00:22:53,275 --> 00:22:55,344
that were going on,
or if it was me.
509
00:22:56,586 --> 00:22:58,275
And it kills me.
510
00:22:59,862 --> 00:23:02,620
You don't... You don't have
a complete perspective,
511
00:23:02,655 --> 00:23:04,172
and I feel so bad. No.
512
00:23:04,206 --> 00:23:05,724
Oh, my God, that was
never my intention.
513
00:23:05,758 --> 00:23:07,586
Here's the thing.
514
00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:09,655
Why I can see what
you would think that,
515
00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:12,034
it's because all that change
happened at the same time,
516
00:23:12,068 --> 00:23:15,793
but it wasn't because
you came in the family.
517
00:23:15,827 --> 00:23:19,172
We went public,
the state came after us,
518
00:23:19,206 --> 00:23:22,517
and we left, like,
all within the same year.
519
00:23:22,551 --> 00:23:25,137
This has nothing to do
with her coming
into the family.
520
00:23:25,172 --> 00:23:28,655
We should have been
able to absorb her,
and I think we could have.
521
00:23:28,689 --> 00:23:30,068
That would've been easy.
522
00:23:30,103 --> 00:23:32,827
Having a wife coming
to the family is like
a new team member,
523
00:23:32,862 --> 00:23:34,965
and I think we would've
rubbed up against each other,
524
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,965
but we would've eventually
found our normal
525
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,965
and it would've looked
a lot like what we had.
526
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,931
When we started, I think
we all shared a feeling
527
00:23:40,965 --> 00:23:42,551
like we were
single moms in Vegas.
528
00:23:42,586 --> 00:23:45,586
I mean, I remember feeling
like a single mom
529
00:23:45,620 --> 00:23:48,551
in Vegas, but I thought
that was what it was.
530
00:23:48,586 --> 00:23:51,931
I thought that's what plural
marriage kind of entailed
a little bit.
531
00:23:51,965 --> 00:23:55,068
It was the first time I ever
really felt like a single mom.
532
00:23:55,103 --> 00:23:56,206
Yeah, me, too.
533
00:23:56,241 --> 00:24:00,172
I don't really know what
to do with this conversation.
534
00:24:00,206 --> 00:24:03,000
I'm realizing I wasn't
there and never experienced
535
00:24:03,034 --> 00:24:04,965
what it is
she's talking about.
536
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,137
I don't... I don't even
know what to say here
and I don't know what to do,
537
00:24:08,172 --> 00:24:10,103
and it's really hard
to hear 'cause it means
538
00:24:10,137 --> 00:24:11,655
I was never a part
of whatever it is
539
00:24:11,689 --> 00:24:13,655
she's talking about they had.
540
00:24:13,689 --> 00:24:18,793
So, in Vegas,
it was like...
When Kody was there,
541
00:24:18,827 --> 00:24:20,413
it was all...
It got super stressful
542
00:24:20,448 --> 00:24:22,413
if he was coming over.
It was super, super stressful.
543
00:24:22,448 --> 00:24:24,689
And that's like
how it is now, again.
544
00:24:24,724 --> 00:24:26,275
It's stressful
when he's coming over
545
00:24:26,310 --> 00:24:29,310
because we only see him
like once or twice a week,
546
00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:32,206
and he's just there
in the evenings
547
00:24:32,241 --> 00:24:34,724
and we don't see him
any other time.
548
00:24:34,758 --> 00:24:36,275
So, when he comes over,
549
00:24:36,310 --> 00:24:39,724
he disrupts the entire
schedule that we have.
550
00:24:39,758 --> 00:24:41,482
He disrupts everything
that we have,
551
00:24:41,517 --> 00:24:44,655
and partially because
we don't even know
when he's coming over.
552
00:24:44,689 --> 00:24:46,689
You didn't say you were
coming and now you're here,
553
00:24:46,724 --> 00:24:49,551
you're only here at night,
and there's so much
554
00:24:49,586 --> 00:24:55,241
to cram into a few hours,
that it's just stressful.
555
00:24:55,275 --> 00:24:57,172
And that's what
Vegas felt like.
556
00:24:57,896 --> 00:24:59,965
When I was in Vegas,
557
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,827
I would come in
and check on the kids,
558
00:25:01,862 --> 00:25:05,620
but the complaint about Vegas
was that I was not always...
559
00:25:05,655 --> 00:25:07,344
that I wasn't settling.
560
00:25:07,379 --> 00:25:10,724
And now you're... Now
the thing is I'm disrupting,
561
00:25:10,758 --> 00:25:12,310
but I'm settling.
562
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:13,896
Do you feel like you settled?
563
00:25:18,034 --> 00:25:19,689
Yeah.
564
00:25:20,965 --> 00:25:23,448
You know, if I really
get honest with myself,
565
00:25:23,482 --> 00:25:26,034
it might be this world
where it's either/or.
566
00:25:26,068 --> 00:25:27,965
It's like I'm just going
to have to be happy
567
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:32,137
with however it is because
it'll never be normal.
568
00:25:32,896 --> 00:25:34,827
Plural marriage isn't normal.
569
00:25:36,551 --> 00:25:39,413
I guess I wouldn't know
'cause you're always
holding your phone.
570
00:25:40,827 --> 00:25:43,724
I'm always just looking
for a fight, apparently.
571
00:25:43,758 --> 00:25:46,068
Christine's
speaking her truth.
572
00:25:46,103 --> 00:25:50,793
And when I am on my phone,
it's 'cause, um,
573
00:25:50,827 --> 00:25:53,379
I don't feel like engaging.
574
00:25:53,413 --> 00:25:55,758
So, it's not an addiction
to the phone,
575
00:25:55,793 --> 00:26:00,551
it's an excuse to separate
576
00:26:00,586 --> 00:26:04,793
from the angst
in our relationship.
577
00:26:04,827 --> 00:26:07,482
Before we go comparing
it to the past,
578
00:26:07,517 --> 00:26:10,517
you all need to think about
how you view the past.
579
00:26:10,551 --> 00:26:12,413
Oh, it was hard.
580
00:26:12,448 --> 00:26:13,724
I mean, think about it--
581
00:26:13,758 --> 00:26:15,310
-I can say...
-Don't let me make...
582
00:26:15,344 --> 00:26:17,034
-...any assumptions.
-...it was rough,
583
00:26:17,068 --> 00:26:19,137
but I liked the outcome
that it got us.
584
00:26:19,172 --> 00:26:23,034
Christine, you and
I fought over the kitchen
or whatever, but guess what?
585
00:26:23,068 --> 00:26:25,793
We had to get up the next day
and figure our out
586
00:26:25,827 --> 00:26:27,689
because we had to,
you know what I mean?
587
00:26:27,724 --> 00:26:29,034
-Yes.
-So, I mean, like,
588
00:26:29,068 --> 00:26:31,103
we don't have to. We go back
to our own little houses,
589
00:26:31,137 --> 00:26:33,206
and I sit and I check out
with my work or whatever.
590
00:26:33,241 --> 00:26:35,620
And it goes weeks and months,
and I'm making up stories
591
00:26:35,655 --> 00:26:38,103
in my head about you.
I'm like, "I'm never gonna do
592
00:26:38,137 --> 00:26:40,586
anything with Christine,
she's so controlling
in the kitchen."
593
00:26:40,620 --> 00:26:42,655
And that's probably
what you are thinking of me.
594
00:26:42,689 --> 00:26:44,275
-It's fine.
-And it would've festered.
595
00:26:44,310 --> 00:26:45,793
because we didn't have
to work it out.
596
00:26:45,827 --> 00:26:47,793
Yeah. No, you're right.
597
00:26:47,827 --> 00:26:49,517
And maybe that is
part of it now too,
598
00:26:49,551 --> 00:26:51,034
is that we don't
have to work it out.
599
00:26:51,068 --> 00:26:52,896
I do come up with...
600
00:26:52,931 --> 00:26:55,034
"Yeah, I'm sure everybody
hates me, all the time."
601
00:26:57,517 --> 00:26:59,448
What?
-I feel like
I'm on the outside
602
00:26:59,482 --> 00:27:01,344
-looking in all the time.
Really?
603
00:27:01,379 --> 00:27:03,689
Yes. And then,
when I get together
for family gatherings,
604
00:27:03,724 --> 00:27:05,448
I'm like, "Why would
I want to go?
605
00:27:05,482 --> 00:27:07,310
'Cause it's just gonna
be a hostile environment
606
00:27:07,344 --> 00:27:08,965
and no one there
even likes me."
607
00:27:13,724 --> 00:27:15,965
I think life's gotten
really easy for us.
608
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,655
We all go home
to our little houses and we
complain about somebody.
609
00:27:18,689 --> 00:27:20,793
The easier it gets,
the more we get away
610
00:27:20,827 --> 00:27:22,896
from the ultimate
goal I'd envisioned.
611
00:27:22,931 --> 00:27:25,275
We all have to
decide what we really want.
612
00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:28,586
If this is what
we really want,
or are we forcing it
613
00:27:28,620 --> 00:27:31,482
upon ourselves because
this is the way
it's supposed to be?
614
00:27:31,517 --> 00:27:34,103
Our religion taught us
all these other things.
615
00:27:34,137 --> 00:27:36,965
This is a new level
of commitment,
616
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,275
and maybe, and this
would be heart-breaking,
617
00:27:40,310 --> 00:27:41,793
there are some
of us who are like,
618
00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:43,551
"Look, I don't
want it anymore."
619
00:27:47,172 --> 00:27:49,034
We're here
having lunch together.
620
00:27:49,068 --> 00:27:51,689
There's a lot that has
already been said.
621
00:27:51,724 --> 00:27:55,551
A lot of it is pretty intense.
I mean, it's not easy
right now.
622
00:27:55,586 --> 00:27:58,068
Yeah, I'm sure everybody
hates me, all the time.
623
00:28:00,206 --> 00:28:02,206
What?
-I feel like
I'm on the outside
624
00:28:02,241 --> 00:28:04,068
-looking in all the time.
Really?
625
00:28:04,103 --> 00:28:06,310
Yes. And then,
when I get together
for family gatherings,
626
00:28:06,344 --> 00:28:08,137
I'm like,
"Why would I want to go?
627
00:28:08,172 --> 00:28:10,241
'Cause it's just gonna
be a hostile environment
628
00:28:10,275 --> 00:28:12,448
and no one there likes me."
629
00:28:12,482 --> 00:28:16,724
Uh... I don't know why
Christine is saying this,
630
00:28:16,758 --> 00:28:20,000
that she feels like
she's hated. Like,
that's... That's scary.
631
00:28:22,448 --> 00:28:24,137
I mean,
I totally understand.
632
00:28:24,172 --> 00:28:27,551
I mean, going into
a family function
633
00:28:27,586 --> 00:28:30,517
and just, like, not
knowing where you stand.
634
00:28:33,586 --> 00:28:36,275
Wow. Wow.
635
00:28:38,034 --> 00:28:40,448
I mean, it's a shame
that she feels like that.
636
00:28:40,482 --> 00:28:41,862
See, I think
this is the danger
637
00:28:41,896 --> 00:28:44,448
of spending
too much time separate.
638
00:28:44,482 --> 00:28:46,689
I think life's gotten
really easy for us.
639
00:28:46,724 --> 00:28:48,310
We all go home
to our little houses
640
00:28:48,344 --> 00:28:50,551
and we complain
about somebody.
641
00:28:50,586 --> 00:28:52,586
The easier it gets,
the more we get away
642
00:28:52,620 --> 00:28:54,517
from the ultimate
goal I'd envisioned
643
00:28:54,551 --> 00:28:57,206
when I came into this family.
644
00:28:57,241 --> 00:28:59,517
We all have to
decide what we really want.
645
00:28:59,551 --> 00:29:01,758
If this is what
we really want,
646
00:29:01,793 --> 00:29:03,896
or are we forcing it
upon ourselves
647
00:29:03,931 --> 00:29:06,034
because this is the way
it's supposed to be?
648
00:29:06,068 --> 00:29:08,620
Our religion taught us
all these other things.
649
00:29:08,655 --> 00:29:11,482
Do you want
to have a relationship
650
00:29:11,517 --> 00:29:13,068
with your sister wife?
651
00:29:14,551 --> 00:29:16,689
I think maybe that's why
I started to think about this,
652
00:29:16,724 --> 00:29:19,310
'cause I want something
different than what we have.
653
00:29:19,344 --> 00:29:21,689
We've been saying "do more,
spend more time together"
654
00:29:21,724 --> 00:29:24,137
for years.
But this is different.
655
00:29:24,172 --> 00:29:26,896
This is a new level
of commitment,
656
00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:30,379
and maybe, and this
would be heart-breaking,
657
00:29:30,413 --> 00:29:33,241
there are some of us
who are like, "Look,
I don't want it anymore."
658
00:29:34,931 --> 00:29:38,413
I'm really sorry I still
get jealous. Just saying.
659
00:29:38,448 --> 00:29:40,275
I still get super,
super, super jealous
660
00:29:40,310 --> 00:29:41,862
and I'm really,
really, really sorry.
661
00:29:41,896 --> 00:29:44,275
It makes
getting together hard.
662
00:29:44,310 --> 00:29:46,413
Really, really hard.
663
00:29:48,586 --> 00:29:50,482
Maybe I don't like me either.
664
00:29:53,275 --> 00:29:56,034
I'm not really strong
on my own,
665
00:29:56,068 --> 00:29:58,586
and it's surprising
and it's hard.
666
00:29:58,620 --> 00:30:01,793
I thought I'd be stronger
on my own, but I'm not.
667
00:30:01,827 --> 00:30:05,068
And it's really hard
to just feel like
668
00:30:05,103 --> 00:30:07,275
I can contribute anything.
669
00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:13,896
It's hard to find
that balance of being strong
and not being a bitch.
670
00:30:17,413 --> 00:30:23,379
It would definitely be easier
to just do what
we're doing now,
671
00:30:24,379 --> 00:30:26,275
and to just let it be.
672
00:30:26,310 --> 00:30:27,827
It would be easier,
673
00:30:27,862 --> 00:30:29,413
and there's a lot
of plural families
674
00:30:29,448 --> 00:30:31,275
that are just like this.
675
00:30:31,310 --> 00:30:33,517
I just want
to add, Christine,
676
00:30:33,551 --> 00:30:35,862
that it's not that I just
don't not hate...
677
00:30:36,931 --> 00:30:38,931
It's not that
I just don't hate you.
678
00:30:38,965 --> 00:30:40,379
How do I say this?
679
00:30:40,413 --> 00:30:46,275
It's not only that
I don't hate you,
680
00:30:46,310 --> 00:30:47,758
I love you too.
681
00:30:48,689 --> 00:30:50,862
So please don't ever
feel that way...
682
00:30:50,896 --> 00:30:52,310
I'll try not to, I promise.
683
00:30:52,344 --> 00:30:54,344
-When it comes to me.
Okay.
684
00:30:59,068 --> 00:31:02,413
If Kody is
struggling with a wife,
685
00:31:02,448 --> 00:31:05,758
that doesn't mean
that I'm struggling.
686
00:31:05,793 --> 00:31:07,655
-We're hurt too.
-You guys...
687
00:31:07,689 --> 00:31:10,344
Please, let me speak
for myself here, okay?
688
00:31:11,931 --> 00:31:14,206
But I really just
want to have...
689
00:31:18,172 --> 00:31:21,241
...relationships that are
separate from
whatever's going on
690
00:31:22,965 --> 00:31:24,758
with you and Kody.
691
00:31:30,758 --> 00:31:34,620
For years,
I saw purpose in my life,
692
00:31:34,655 --> 00:31:37,620
in plural marriage,
in my family.
693
00:31:37,655 --> 00:31:40,206
But, right now,
it looks like this is...
694
00:31:40,241 --> 00:31:44,034
It's not something
that we are enjoying.
695
00:31:44,068 --> 00:31:46,965
It's not something
that we're even respecting.
696
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,000
Ladies, why aren't you happy?
697
00:31:50,034 --> 00:31:53,068
If I... If I have got a great
relationship with one wife
698
00:31:53,103 --> 00:31:54,758
and not with another,
699
00:31:54,793 --> 00:31:58,862
is it plural marriage
that's the problem?
700
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,586
We've been waiting
to close now for a month.
701
00:32:17,620 --> 00:32:22,206
I'm just tired of just sitting
here waiting for it to close.
702
00:32:26,827 --> 00:32:28,034
That's our lender.
703
00:32:28,068 --> 00:32:30,862
Okay. Let's take this...
Let's go out here.
704
00:32:30,896 --> 00:32:32,344
-Let's go.
-Okay.
705
00:32:32,379 --> 00:32:35,310
-This way.
Follow me, husband.
-Oh, gosh.
706
00:32:36,724 --> 00:32:39,482
Hi, Kody.
-Hi, Kelly. How are you?
707
00:32:39,517 --> 00:32:41,896
I have some
really exciting news.
708
00:32:41,931 --> 00:32:46,620
We were able
to fund a loan today.
709
00:32:46,655 --> 00:32:48,965
So, do you guys know
what that actually means?
710
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,482
It means
we own the house, right?
711
00:32:51,517 --> 00:32:54,275
You absolutely
own the house.
712
00:32:54,310 --> 00:32:56,000
-Congratulations.
-Wow.
713
00:32:57,172 --> 00:32:58,965
Thank you very much.
714
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,275
I've been fighting Kody like
crazy on this idea of buying
715
00:33:02,310 --> 00:33:05,689
because I don't want to delay
getting out on the property.
716
00:33:05,724 --> 00:33:08,206
We're struggling, our family
culture is struggling,
717
00:33:08,241 --> 00:33:11,103
and I don't see how us
buying a home
718
00:33:11,137 --> 00:33:12,827
is really a part
of God's plan for us.
719
00:33:12,862 --> 00:33:14,413
-I just don't see it.
-That's hard
720
00:33:14,448 --> 00:33:17,103
because I want
to celebrate with somebody.
721
00:33:19,586 --> 00:33:23,689
Hey, we're done!
I'm so relieved!
722
00:33:23,724 --> 00:33:24,862
Oh, my goodness.
723
00:33:24,896 --> 00:33:26,896
The happiest part
about it for me
724
00:33:26,931 --> 00:33:29,758
is just being able
to go tell the kids.
725
00:33:29,793 --> 00:33:31,862
That phone call
was with our lender.
726
00:33:32,862 --> 00:33:34,655
What's up?
727
00:33:34,689 --> 00:33:37,413
You can come home to
your new home!
728
00:33:38,482 --> 00:33:39,965
Oh, my God!
729
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,241
-You...
-They funded...
730
00:33:42,275 --> 00:33:44,620
You guys are just...
-We own this place.
731
00:33:44,655 --> 00:33:46,862
It's our property now.
732
00:33:46,896 --> 00:33:48,965
I'm going to let the kids
be happy and relieved,
733
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,000
and let them express
their joy from now on
734
00:33:51,034 --> 00:33:52,551
about being in this house
735
00:33:52,586 --> 00:33:55,310
so that I don't have
to sit here and keep
selling it to Robyn.
736
00:33:55,344 --> 00:33:57,758
You don't have to sell it
to me anymore. It's sold.
737
00:33:59,068 --> 00:34:00,448
-We bought it.
-We bought it.
738
00:34:00,482 --> 00:34:02,310
But I want you to be
happy about it.
739
00:34:02,344 --> 00:34:03,931
-I'm...
-Let's find some joy here.
740
00:34:03,965 --> 00:34:05,344
Okay.
741
00:34:07,310 --> 00:34:09,655
Today, Axel and Evie,
742
00:34:11,344 --> 00:34:13,413
and Maddie and Caleb,
you know, are coming.
743
00:34:13,448 --> 00:34:17,241
I need my wives
to stop complaining
744
00:34:17,275 --> 00:34:20,655
about this divide that
we've got in the family.
745
00:34:20,689 --> 00:34:22,310
-Hi!
-Hi!
746
00:34:23,344 --> 00:34:25,413
Stop putting it on me.
747
00:34:25,448 --> 00:34:27,689
One, two, three.
748
00:34:28,344 --> 00:34:30,103
This is your granddaughter.
749
00:34:30,137 --> 00:34:31,965
Look at
that wide-eyed little baby!
750
00:34:41,517 --> 00:34:43,793
Today, Axel and Evie,
751
00:34:45,517 --> 00:34:47,551
and Maddie and Caleb,
you know, are coming.
752
00:34:47,586 --> 00:34:50,068
And so, Janelle is picking
them at the airport right now,
753
00:34:50,103 --> 00:34:53,034
and everyone's going to
be here in just a few minutes.
754
00:34:53,068 --> 00:34:55,379
Unfortunately, I already
had some business plans
755
00:34:55,413 --> 00:34:58,827
for out of town, so I wasn't
able to be around
756
00:34:58,862 --> 00:35:01,655
and meet the baby,
and I was super
bummed about it.
757
00:35:01,689 --> 00:35:03,137
Yeah, that's too bad.
758
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:09,862
My baby! Hi! I missed you.
759
00:35:09,896 --> 00:35:11,241
Hi, girls.
760
00:35:11,965 --> 00:35:14,034
It has been
a crazy summer.
761
00:35:14,068 --> 00:35:15,379
Things have been a challenge,
762
00:35:15,413 --> 00:35:17,758
and they kind of all
came to a head
763
00:35:17,793 --> 00:35:20,344
just before Robyn
closed on her house.
764
00:35:20,379 --> 00:35:22,689
I'm trying to identify
how we're really kind of
765
00:35:22,724 --> 00:35:24,758
not a united family,
766
00:35:24,793 --> 00:35:27,896
so I'm really excited
that Maddie and Caleb
are coming
767
00:35:27,931 --> 00:35:31,000
because there's nothing like
our kids and grandkids
768
00:35:31,034 --> 00:35:34,896
to get us feeling
like we're a family.
769
00:35:35,551 --> 00:35:40,275
Hi!
770
00:35:40,310 --> 00:35:41,965
-How's it going?
Good.
771
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,896
Hey. Hi.
772
00:35:43,931 --> 00:35:47,000
-Holy, what? Who are you?
-Solomon.
773
00:35:47,034 --> 00:35:48,724
You're Solomon?
Are you sure?
774
00:35:48,758 --> 00:35:50,482
I think Solomon's
shorter than this.
775
00:35:50,517 --> 00:35:51,896
No.
No?
776
00:35:54,482 --> 00:35:55,655
Look at all the...
777
00:35:55,689 --> 00:35:57,517
All the family excited!
778
00:35:57,551 --> 00:35:59,586
The party
has arrived!
779
00:35:59,620 --> 00:36:02,068
I'm sure, like, Axel's been
living in this little house
780
00:36:02,103 --> 00:36:03,724
with just Maddie and Caleb...
781
00:36:03,758 --> 00:36:05,310
And now all the noise.
782
00:36:05,344 --> 00:36:06,275
Alright.
783
00:36:06,310 --> 00:36:08,344
You ready?
-Alright. You ready?
784
00:36:08,379 --> 00:36:11,310
One, two, three.
785
00:36:11,344 --> 00:36:13,103
This is your granddaughter.
786
00:36:13,137 --> 00:36:16,275
Look at that
wide-eyed little baby!
787
00:36:16,310 --> 00:36:20,000
Evie Karen.
Look at her!
-Granddaughter/niece.
788
00:36:21,206 --> 00:36:25,379
She's bright-eyed, man.
She's really bright-eyed.
789
00:36:25,413 --> 00:36:28,103
This is...
This is Evie in a nutshell.
790
00:36:28,137 --> 00:36:29,689
She is very alert.
791
00:36:29,724 --> 00:36:32,620
She looks like she's just,
"Hey, guys. What's up?"
792
00:36:33,896 --> 00:36:36,551
Oh, my Gosh!
793
00:36:39,310 --> 00:36:40,931
Come here, Evie K.
794
00:36:40,965 --> 00:36:43,068
You know there's just
some people who you know
795
00:36:43,103 --> 00:36:46,551
are going to charm the world
and not take any crap from it,
796
00:36:46,586 --> 00:36:49,586
and that's the energy
I get from this little one.
797
00:36:49,620 --> 00:36:51,620
She's just...
She's going to own it.
798
00:36:51,655 --> 00:36:54,517
I think she is just darling.
799
00:36:55,620 --> 00:36:57,862
Oh,
if anyone doesn't know,
800
00:36:57,896 --> 00:37:00,172
she has a syndrome
called FATCO syndrome.
801
00:37:00,206 --> 00:37:01,931
She is missing bones.
802
00:37:01,965 --> 00:37:03,137
Aww.
803
00:37:03,172 --> 00:37:04,931
And fingers. And toes.
804
00:37:04,965 --> 00:37:06,206
Bones. Bones.
805
00:37:06,241 --> 00:37:08,551
So, Evie K. was born
with a genetic
806
00:37:08,586 --> 00:37:12,724
grouping of symptoms that,
basically, is called FATCO,
807
00:37:12,758 --> 00:37:15,241
and it just means that
there are limb differences.
808
00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:18,724
She's got limb differences
on her right hand
and her left leg.
809
00:37:20,965 --> 00:37:23,068
She's not breathing
on her own very well,
810
00:37:23,103 --> 00:37:25,448
so they're going
to probably take her to UNC.
811
00:37:26,413 --> 00:37:28,310
At this time,
some babies,
812
00:37:28,344 --> 00:37:29,896
they kind
of start to go downhill.
813
00:37:29,931 --> 00:37:32,448
We don't know which way
this baby is going.
814
00:37:32,482 --> 00:37:34,551
There's
been few times in my life
815
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:36,137
where I've been
genuinely scared,
816
00:37:36,172 --> 00:37:37,758
and seeing
the ambulance pull up
817
00:37:37,793 --> 00:37:40,000
and knowing it was for Evie...
818
00:37:41,517 --> 00:37:42,827
It was awful, to be honest.
819
00:37:42,862 --> 00:37:44,724
-I didn't see it.
I needed to--
-It was awful.
820
00:37:44,758 --> 00:37:46,896
And I know that
it's there to save her,
which was so stupid
821
00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:49,206
that it was awful 'cause
I know it's there to save her.
822
00:37:50,931 --> 00:37:52,758
So,
after three days,
they released her
823
00:37:52,793 --> 00:37:54,724
and she's healthy
perfectly healthy,
824
00:37:54,758 --> 00:37:56,413
her lungs are working great.
825
00:37:56,448 --> 00:37:58,103
Rub her belly.
-Her belly.
826
00:37:58,137 --> 00:38:00,275
Rub her belly.
827
00:38:00,310 --> 00:38:02,689
Something that
we knew about early on
828
00:38:02,724 --> 00:38:05,758
is that Evie
is missing fingers
829
00:38:05,793 --> 00:38:07,965
and she's missing
a couple bones
throughout her body,
830
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,482
and it has now
been diagnosed
as FATCO syndrome.
831
00:38:10,517 --> 00:38:13,137
I don't want her to ever
feel like it's a limitation.
832
00:38:13,172 --> 00:38:15,344
I don't want her to ever
feel like it's a crutch.
833
00:38:15,379 --> 00:38:18,068
She's going
to be a fierce fighter.
834
00:38:18,103 --> 00:38:22,275
Hello. Hi, you, blue eyes.
835
00:38:22,310 --> 00:38:23,517
She is big, guys.
836
00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:25,724
You are so pretty.
837
00:38:25,758 --> 00:38:27,103
You know,
in the future,
838
00:38:27,137 --> 00:38:29,275
probably close
to her first birthday,
839
00:38:29,310 --> 00:38:30,862
they're going
to have to do surgery
840
00:38:30,896 --> 00:38:33,137
to either get her ready
for a prosthetic,
841
00:38:33,172 --> 00:38:34,517
or straighten the limb.
842
00:38:34,551 --> 00:38:36,413
I think it's always
in the back of my mind
843
00:38:36,448 --> 00:38:38,034
that she has to have
this surgery
844
00:38:38,068 --> 00:38:40,000
and there's risks
with surgery,
845
00:38:40,034 --> 00:38:43,413
but I guess I'm just
hopeful and optimistic
that her little,
846
00:38:43,448 --> 00:38:47,241
strong body and strong mind
are going to prevail here.
847
00:38:48,137 --> 00:38:49,793
Oh, she is looking over.
848
00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:51,344
Hi, Evie girl.
849
00:38:51,379 --> 00:38:54,655
-Hi, baby girl.
She's so cute.
Goodness!
850
00:38:54,689 --> 00:38:56,551
She's so cute.
-I'm your bubby.
851
00:38:56,586 --> 00:38:58,241
-That's what I am.
Oh, Bubby.
852
00:38:58,275 --> 00:39:00,241
That's good.
-I'm your Bubby.
853
00:39:00,275 --> 00:39:01,551
Bubby.
854
00:39:01,586 --> 00:39:03,965
Janelle is "grandma,"
I am "bubby."
855
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,689
That is the Czechoslovakian
name for grandma.
856
00:39:08,551 --> 00:39:11,034
To me, "grandma"
is my mom but a, I think,
857
00:39:11,068 --> 00:39:13,137
generation shift and I'm just
going to be "grandma."
858
00:39:13,172 --> 00:39:14,862
I haven't
chosen anything,
859
00:39:14,896 --> 00:39:19,862
and I'm not really
prone to, you know,
860
00:39:19,896 --> 00:39:22,241
come up with
a title for myself.
861
00:39:22,275 --> 00:39:24,551
Where did your bubby go?
862
00:39:24,586 --> 00:39:26,517
I'm "oma."
It's a German grandma.
863
00:39:26,551 --> 00:39:28,103
So, Maddie and Caleb
asked me
864
00:39:28,137 --> 00:39:31,620
when she was pregnant
with Axel if I could be "oma."
865
00:39:31,655 --> 00:39:33,413
I'm like, "Yeah. Yeah."
866
00:39:33,448 --> 00:39:35,689
You guys make
such cute babies.
Oh, my Gosh.
867
00:39:35,724 --> 00:39:37,655
Thank you. Thank you.
868
00:39:39,379 --> 00:39:42,379
Hey! Maddie! Maddie!
869
00:39:43,620 --> 00:39:45,344
Yzzie just
said we make cute babies,
870
00:39:45,379 --> 00:39:46,896
so we're going to continue.
871
00:39:46,931 --> 00:39:48,896
-We'll see how.
We'll see nothing.
872
00:39:48,931 --> 00:39:51,724
You married the wrong
person for babies
873
00:39:51,758 --> 00:39:54,655
'cause I want to have
a good-sized family.
874
00:39:54,689 --> 00:39:57,586
Well, you know what?
Then you can have the babies.
875
00:39:57,620 --> 00:39:59,034
Okay.
876
00:39:59,068 --> 00:40:01,758
We're going to
make some more cute babies.
877
00:40:01,793 --> 00:40:03,310
That's what we do.
878
00:40:04,758 --> 00:40:07,448
I'm glad
the grandkids were here.
879
00:40:07,482 --> 00:40:10,172
I'm glad Caleb
and Madison were here,
880
00:40:10,206 --> 00:40:12,172
it was so nice
to see them.
881
00:40:12,206 --> 00:40:15,103
They make us feel like
we're a family again.
882
00:40:15,137 --> 00:40:19,448
But I need my wives
to stop complaining
883
00:40:19,482 --> 00:40:22,620
about this sort
of gulf or divide
884
00:40:22,655 --> 00:40:24,517
that we've got in the family.
885
00:40:24,551 --> 00:40:27,344
You guys start to fix
those relationships.
886
00:40:27,379 --> 00:40:29,482
Stop putting it on me.
887
00:40:30,655 --> 00:40:33,862
So, if you need something
fixed, ladies, fix it.
888
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,000
This season
onSister Wives...
889
00:40:40,034 --> 00:40:42,793
I'm about ready to
psychologically lose it.
890
00:40:42,827 --> 00:40:45,206
This thing is getting
really frustrating,
to be honest with you.
891
00:40:50,655 --> 00:40:53,344
I'm just going
to be frank here.
I'm like a stepmom.
892
00:40:53,379 --> 00:40:55,103
I think this sunset's
going to be good.
893
00:40:56,827 --> 00:40:58,344
...and I had one wife...
894
00:40:58,379 --> 00:41:00,344
I don't know, maybe
it's a fantasy on my part.
895
00:41:00,379 --> 00:41:01,448
Let's just go.
896
00:41:01,482 --> 00:41:03,275
Wow.
We've been ready for an hour.
897
00:41:03,310 --> 00:41:06,137
I feel like the only
adult sometimes, you know?
898
00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:07,206
Come on.
899
00:41:07,241 --> 00:41:09,413
What the hell is he doing?
900
00:41:09,448 --> 00:41:11,379
Our family's been
feeling really challenged
901
00:41:11,413 --> 00:41:12,655
since we came to Flagstaff.
902
00:41:12,689 --> 00:41:14,206
I'm very worried
'cause it looks like
903
00:41:14,241 --> 00:41:16,896
it's going even
be more separation.
904
00:41:16,931 --> 00:41:20,068
We're really acting
like four separate families.
905
00:41:20,103 --> 00:41:24,517
We had a pandemic breakout of
Covid-19 in the United States.
906
00:41:24,551 --> 00:41:26,931
I'm the only one that's
going from home to home.
907
00:41:26,965 --> 00:41:30,068
I suggested to dad
that he maybe not come over.
908
00:41:31,793 --> 00:41:33,758
How can
we work our relationships
909
00:41:33,793 --> 00:41:35,689
if we can't even see
each other to talk to?
910
00:41:35,724 --> 00:41:38,103
You know, what kind
of exposure we having...
911
00:41:38,137 --> 00:41:42,931
He would rather
we just stay home.
And we're not.
912
00:41:42,965 --> 00:41:45,793
I'm dealing with
the stubbornest people
I've ever known.
913
00:41:45,827 --> 00:41:49,586
We don't have to do
anything together.
914
00:41:49,620 --> 00:41:52,620
If you know
that she is actually
trying to sabotage
915
00:41:52,655 --> 00:41:55,068
your relationship with Kody,
you can't trust her.
916
00:41:56,068 --> 00:41:59,517
Kody and Meri's
relationship is really sad.
917
00:41:59,551 --> 00:42:00,827
I can't make him love me.
918
00:42:00,862 --> 00:42:03,793
So if I were to lean over
and just kiss you right now,
919
00:42:03,827 --> 00:42:05,275
would you push me away?
920
00:42:05,310 --> 00:42:09,827
Romance and sex
are saved for people
who are in love.
921
00:42:11,448 --> 00:42:14,379
If Meri and I really
wanted to be together,
we would.
922
00:42:15,793 --> 00:42:17,344
Next time
I see Kody,
923
00:42:17,379 --> 00:42:19,413
I'm going to tell him
I freaking want
to move back to Utah,
924
00:42:19,448 --> 00:42:21,034
even though the girls
don't want to.
925
00:42:21,068 --> 00:42:23,517
One, two, three,
four wives said no.
926
00:42:23,551 --> 00:42:26,241
We're never moving
back to Utah.
927
00:42:26,275 --> 00:42:29,172
Maybe the drama problem
in our lives is me.
928
00:42:29,206 --> 00:42:31,172
Meri, I can't be
in a marriage
with Kody anymore.
929
00:42:31,206 --> 00:42:32,275
I don't want to...
930
00:42:32,310 --> 00:42:34,068
You don't get
to give up like that.
931
00:42:34,103 --> 00:42:35,448
I don't want to
do it anymore.