The past year has been a tumultuous one
for the Brown family.
I don't know how you do it,
because he's not who you married.
He's not who I married.
I don't want Robyn to see this.
I don't want her to know how dark I've gotten.
From explosive arguments...
But I've...
Shut your [bleep] mouth and let me talk to you
for a minute.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- No... - No.
you stay and talk.
I'm done listening to you.
you.
To painful revelations.
So sometimes you still hate me?
In my heart, I just never wanna see her again.
I'm not married to him anymore.
So freaking awesome.
With life-changing consequences.
You and me.
He said, don't you understand, Meri,
this is never going to happen.
You want something that we can't have together.
Screw him.
He's not worth it.
Over the next four hours,
I'm sitting down with Kody,
Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn,
to talk about some of the biggest
and most dramatic moments of their lives.
- You made this... - Accountability.
...about all these other problems that we have
that we can't sweep under.
- I did not. - This became...
- Yes, you did. - I did not. I did not.
- You're an alcoholic. - I did not.
Have you guys fought like this before?
No, no, I don't think we've ever fought like this.
That moment I was thinking to myself,
I don't ever wanna talk to Janelle again.
You have six kids.
You know, that's...
Sorry.
That's worth fighting for.
Were you in love with Meri when you married her?
I told her I loved her and I chose to love her.
You should have told me, because I'm still sitting here
holding on to the idea that maybe
you might get your head outta your butt.
Meri did ask her to be there, but...
I know. It's because Robyn says that she can speak Kody.
And I'm like [bleep].
Sorry. Okay.
Sorry. I'm gonna be nice. No, I'm not.
Well, Kody can speak for himself.
He's a grown ass man.
He would ask me to do things and ask me to be a certain way
or ask me to fix a certain situation,
but it's not good enough.
They're trash talking me because I'm guilty
of not loving them.
Is he sabotaging your relationship?
He tries to.
I have to stop him all the time.
You can't talk about Robyn.
She's the one that's loyal to me.
So if you had any kind of a disagreement,
you weren't safe.
I don't think Christine knows Robyn at all.
Nah. She was a sister wife.
She'll probably, and I hope, be a very good wife for David.
- Have you met David? - Yes.
Well, I think he's great.
I'm engaged.
I'm getting married to the love of my life.
Christine has to destroy my character
or David doesn't feel like he can marry her
because she left a good man.
Sorry, I don't know how to let this go.
And this isn't me just being dramatic.
Thank you, Christine.
Could I just be me sometimes with Kody?
No.
But it isn't it not about him hearing you?
Isn't it about you being heard?
Oh, my voice will be heard.
I will no longer be silenced.
This is Sister Wives: One on One.
Today, I'm getting ready
for our one-on-one interview.
I am feeling nauseous
and not feeling very good right now.
It's where we go and, like, tell it how it is.
People really speak their mind
and some of the things they say, I'm like, wow.
I didn't know. Wow.
There were so many times in Flagstaff
that I was sad.
And every time I go back, it's like,
I have to get back into that mentality again
and everything.
And it's just... It's really difficult.
Well, I'm usually kind of
really, really low-key, just easy.
The nerves don't get to me much
until I'm there
and then all of a sudden I just get terribly nervous.
I am not looking forward to going back at all.
There's other people I don't need to see,
so it's just hard.
It's really, um, emotionally draining.
You know, you make choices when you're young
and you do everything you can
to do good by those choices.
You know, you get older
and you don't like those choices.
And, uh, you know, like,
it's been basically the breakup song.
Hey, Kody.
Hey, how's it going?
It's good to see you.
Hey, good to see you.
Are you ready for, uh,
new, uh, variety show of Sister Wives?
I don't know about that.
With all that singing, and dancing, and a...
And a little bit of comedy?
If this turned into a variety show,
like what would be your theme song?
Um, I can see clearly now the rain is gone.
Today, I'm feeling We Will Rock You by Queen.
- Ooh. - Yeah.
All the Single Ladies.
Put your hands up.
Maybe.
- I like that. - I mean...
Who said you weren't good?
it's appropriate.
Losing My Religion.
Oh.
That is very telling.
You know it's not about religion, right?
It's about unrequited love.
- Mmm-hmm. - Yeah.
But I like the theme of losing your religion, you know,
in a sense that, you know, you can find faith
and still lose your religion, but, you know, you gotta...
Some people have to hit rock bottom to find their faith.
Are you at that place?
I've hit... I don't think I've hit rock bottom.
There's things I still have, uh,
you know, like, emotional control over.
I'm not as angry as I was before.
Um, yeah, a lot changes.
Divorce messes with you...
- Mmm-hmm. - ...very much.
How has everything played out from the last time I met you?
Um, I...
It's been a sort of an unraveling,
just something about the...
struggles in the family
just made me kind of go...
is this what real life is like?
Is this what real marriage is like?
Is this how it is?
There's, um... I don't even know how to...
Um, I've kind of come...
I've been thinking about this like all I do.
You know, when I'm not working, it's on my mind.
It's rolling through and I'm replaying
and rehashing discussions and rehashing my life
and how I started this family out and everything.
I mean, this is what I've gone back on.
I've gone back to my past marriage.
This experience required that I have more than one wife.
And so I come into this.
I...
Meri and I get married and, um,
and I get married again to Janelle
and I get married again to Christine.
And I looked back
and because I was so anxious to be living the principle
of plural marriage,
that I was not vetting who I was marrying
to be compatible with me.
The blame lays on one thing and one thing only.
If you're gonna marry
and you're gonna marry for eternity,
you should start out in love.
I...
I thought it was acceptable.
I thought I could make up the difference.
I thought everything in this situation
with all three wives.
This isn't about being like in love.
This is about growing a family together.
We love each other. We're required.
The gospel requires us to love each other.
But I never really actually, um, suffered in a...
in a fit of passion in this place.
How do you feel you started out with Robyn then?
Was it different?
- Yeah, it was. - Were you different?
Well, I fell in love with Robyn.
I never fell in love with anybody else.
I was just choosing to be in that covenant
of love with them.
Was it just spiritual witness or were you in love with him
when you got married to him?
I was in love with the idea of him.
We really did start to know each other better
after we were married.
I do think I loved him as much as I could.
And we became much more in love as the years went by,
- I think. - Mmm-hmm.
Um, we did get married young
and I don't think that that's necessarily a problem,
because I've seen many couples that navigate that.
- Mmm-hmm. - But somewhere along the line,
we failed to navigate that, I think.
It's interesting because Kody had said that,
you know, um, that he fell in love with Robyn
and had a very deep connection...
- Mmm-hmm. - ...one that he, like,
had never experienced in his life before.
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Um, did you ever have that kind of connection with him?
You know, I think as far as my understanding, yeah, we did.
It was a very functional marriage.
But now he's grown and changed and I've grown and changed.
And I think maybe he does have more affinity
or more connection with Robyn and that's okay.
But I think it's unfair to judge our early years
with that same perspective,
because he was not the guy back then he is now.
But it's kind of like he says he entered the covenant
with you and Christine
in a different manner than he did with Robyn.
I get... I think it's just... I think it's perspective.
I mean, look, I don't think we had this grand passion
and maybe Robyn is his grand passion.
I don't know.
Um, but what we had was good.
I met Robyn and there was a safety and a vulnerability
that I had never experienced in my life.
And I met her and I started weeping for joy
and didn't stop for months.
Because you were emotionally vulnerable enough
to receive Robyn's love?
No, I don't know if... We can't qualify it like that.
Let's just say the two of us had a click,
whereas I was working for years
with these others to get that...
To get this place, never had the click.
Could never go to Janelle and say,
"Hey, you're not vulnerable with me,"
because I didn't know.
There's a struggle in communication.
There's a struggle with criticism or whatever it is.
There's just this place and where we're at
with three wives and me and the kids.
And we're in kind of a...
sort of a constant little civil war
with where this constant
psychic tension is always there.
Well, he said he fell in love with you
because he could finally be his full self.
He could finally be vulnerable and love you.
- And that was... - Yeah.
the connection that he was really searching for,
that he did not have with the three other women.
- See, and I didn't know that. - Yeah.
I did not know that until, like, just recently.
Really?
I did not know that...
and I...
And it still makes me wonder because I wonder
if it's just the rewriting of history
because there seems to be a lot of that.
When your husband is saying he wept for joy for months
because he had found you...
But I don't think he was saying that to them.
Is he saying...
- No. - Okay.
But that's just how he was feeling.
Okay.
So when a person is feeling that kind of inner joy...
Yeah.
it's kind of hard just to suppress it
and just be like, okay.
- Um... - Well, I did my best.
I don't know what else I'm supposed to...
What else I was supposed to do,
but I did my best to not have it be something
that was painful for them.
Mmm-hmm.
I constantly was...
suppressing and hiding my relationship
and any kind of connection I had with Kody.
You know, you said that you remember the exact moment
when Kody fell in love with Robyn.
That was a yucky day.
- So... - So hard.
...how did that play out for you
and how did that change the dynamics
of your relationship with Kody?
At that point, Kody and I were already
really, really struggling, so that didn't help.
Um, it broke my heart.
That was one of my first moments
of heartbreak was that moment.
And I was just sitting at the edge of my bed
and watching him get ready to go on a date with her
before they were married.
And I was like...
He's like, I don't know what's wrong with me.
And I'm like, I'll like blah, blah, blah.
And I said, "Oh, you're in love with her."
And he looked at me and he's like,
because I said it out loud,
I'm like, "You're in love with her."
He looked at me and he's like,
"I am. I am in love with her."
And he got really giddy.
And I was like, "Oh God, it hurt."
- Mmm-hmm. -"It hurt so bad."
It was so bad,
because you realize at that point
everything now is going to change.
Coming up.
I've spent two years watching
and seeing Christine and Janelle talk about me
without me.
And later.
In that scene, he's probably getting
a dose of what it's like to be a sister wife.
Here you go, buddy.
This is what it's been like for 26 years.
Mmm-hmm.
Take off your blinders
and look and see what it's like for us.
Okay.
Everybody settle.
I didn't see the problems, like...
Well, I got optimistic.
I don't think I saw the problems,
but the problems were still there.
And, um, when I met Robyn,
it was, you know, like first time ever being in love.
Hmm.
And so that changed the dynamic, I think.
And that's not anybody's fault.
Um, it was a call for us to put more effort
into the other relationships in my mind.
But that became a grind.
It was constantly, constantly trying to prove your love
and prove yourself and, uh, and, uh, um,
like kind of doing this dance constantly.
And, um, and some years were good
because the dance was working really well.
Okay.
And what I'm talking about
is these struggles in relationship
when we don't have the basis of passionate love.
Let me ask you a question.
Three of Kody's relationships have completely deteriorated.
Mmm-hmm.
Subconsciously, do you think that...
he's getting what he wants
with this relationship with Robyn,
this incredible soul connection?
I know that he's happy with her
and I know that they have this soul connection.
He speaks of that often.
Um, and I'm glad that he has that with her.
I think everybody should have that.
Um, I think it's very unfortunate
that the rest of the family had to go by the wayside
to get that.
I think that he has in his life
had the capacity to love
and care for multiple of us, right?
Like, we've got a big family.
I think he has a capacity and for whatever reason,
he's not doing it.
I think when he met Robyn,
I was one of the first people to point out,
"Look, she's your soulmate.
You need to acknowledge that she's your soulmate."
And let's be honest and say, "Where do the rest fit in
with your marriage now,
now that you've met your soulmate?"
And that was like, "Whoa, what can you say?"
You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Um, so our marriage itself wasn't great.
If we were just living monogamy,
we would've maybe stayed, I don't know.
But our marriage wasn't great.
Outside of Robyn, I agree.
I think him marrying her,
I saw what a real marriage could be.
I saw him with his soulmate.
I saw, "Oh, I guess he does have it in him to help out.
I guess he does have it in him, just not with me."
I just would've loved to have had
a guy who would've loved to have been with me.
Not that I didn't want her to have it, I didn't.
I thought it would've been awesome.
But can he give that to everybody?
I don't think that's realistic either.
I just think that maybe...
her relationship with Kody
was so very different from the get-go.
Maybe it was hard for him to...
I... 'Cause it really felt like he
more and more pulled away from wanting to be
a plural husband.
Like having...
Shouldering the responsibility of all the families
unless they conform to his way of thinking
or his way of being.
- Okay. - In plural marriage,
you're covenant, that you're gonna...
you're gonna take care of each other.
So that is up for him that he should have,
if he wanted to really be live...
Walking up to his responsibilities
that he promised.
He would be working hard to make sure
everybody's needs were met.
Not just focusing on the one that he adored more
or had a more affinity for.
All right. Let's move forward
because there's a lot more to unpack, especially,
um, with Janelle.
Where are you right now?
Where does the relationship stand?
Um...
I don't know.
It... It's like, "Hey, you know,
why don't we work on reconciliation?"
And we... I mean, but it's just...
She says, "I am not really that interested."
And I say that I'm interested, but I don't do anything.
You know, I don't like triangulating
because what has happened in our family
since this whole breakup is, um,
people are coming to me
with somebody else's grievance.
So, my point is, is when I sit down with Janelle,
I don't wanna ask about all the kids.
Right.
Because I don't wanna be gossiping, so to speak.
And the nature of our family, uh, ten years ago
was me running from each house.
I... You know, okay, this is what's going on.
This is what's going on with family.
This... You know, it was almost like I...
It was a family.
So it wasn't gossip.
Right.
- Here's what's happened. - Go ahead.
Is I've spent two years watching and seeing
Christine and Janelle talk about me without me.
And they're just trash talking me.
- Mmm-hmm. - So I'm like going,
"I don't wanna ask about anybody else
'cause I don't want anybody talking about me."
Mmm-hmm.
And what are they trash talking me about?
They're trash talking me because I'm guilty.
Actually, yes, I am, of not loving them.
Whoa. Let's go back to that.
That's the guilty part of it is it's where I--
You're admitting?
Oh, no, I got angry.
And so I'm like, "Well, I'm... I...
And if we don't wanna work on this,
if we can't work this out, then I'm withdrawing this."
But are you admitting that you were guilty
of not loving them enough to help the relationship?
No, no, no. I was--
Were you withdrawing their love?
Oh, no, no. No, no.
I was guilty of not being in love with them.
It's... It was the guilt from the beginning.
It was a guilt from the beginning.
It's like,
I married and I didn't know.
I married on a promise that was very different
than romantic love...
- Mmm-hmm. - ...if that's completely.
So...
I'm in a place now where I would like
romantic love with Janelle.
We've got stuff to work out.
Christine was always in a place
where she wanted romantic love with me.
Let's get back to Janelle because...
- Yeah. - ...there's a point last year
where it felt like things really came to a head. Like...
Yeah.
I... I've never seen it before.
Things got so uncomfortable between the two of you.
Yeah.
Um, that this clip is going to be uncomfortable to watch,
but we have to, and then after that,
I wanna hear your thoughts.
Mmm-hmm. Okay.
Let's take a look.
So listen, you really need to stop
throwing me under the bus, okay?
Okay, you know what? Then you stop throwing me.
You act like this is my fault.
This is all I need.
Is to not sit here and pretend
that at Christmas time, nothing's wrong.
You act like this is not your fault.
Do you want this relationship
- between you and I to work? - I don't know, do you,
because when you say choose your loyalties?
They chose to have their social lives.
But this whole you need to apologize...
They were lying.
You need to apologize to Robyn.
Janelle, I corrected that pretty strongly.
Do you understand that you lie?
That's the reason I call you The Teflon Queen.
I did not lie.
'Cause you're lying about what has happened...
- It's wild... - and what's been going on.
it's wild to me that you think I lied
because I think you're manipulating.
I think you decided you wanna...
didn't wanna be a plural husband anymore.
- Kody, I think... - Oh.
...you're trying to do this all to justify you're--
- Christina's gone. - What am I justifying?
You're pushing me out the door.
What am I justifying?
You are now pushing me out the door.
You really do want a relationship with me?
I need you to stop blaming me for everything
and start being culpable for what you have done.
- That is accountability. - You made this...
about all these other problems that we have
that we can't sweep under.
- This became issue... - I did not.
- Yes, you did. - I did not.
- I did not. I did not. - You said you're an...
Wow.
Stop talking like I'm just an idiot here.
Well then stop talking to me like I am.
Janelle, I've seen what you've done this entire time.
Number one, you undermined the basic rules I had.
You made fun of me to the boys.
See, have you ever had my back?
Have you ever been a team with me?
Have we ever co-parented?
You co-parent with Christine.
Why?
Because Kody, you were never available.
- You've never been available. - That is such a lie.
All I needed was a... Your back.
- You are the one... - You backing me up.
...who said the boys cannot come...
- Janelle-- - ...until they apologized.
And I corrected that and you're not listening--
And then you said to me--
- Stop. Stop that. - No, you listen to me.
- I corrected that. - You listen to me.
I even apologized for that.
No, you did not.
- Yes, I did. - No, you did not.
I feel like...
I feel like I'm being gaslit.
You have cheated me out of my contact with my family
- because-- - It is not my fault.
You ask them.
You ask them who they blame.
Well, they blame me because you do.
I do not.
Kody, in the very beginning,
- I kept-- - Oh, no, no.
No, you make this excuse forever.
Listen to me.
But I've--
Shut your [bleep] mouth and let me talk to you
- for a minute. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
- no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - You won't--
- No, no, no. - You keep cutting me off.
- No, no, no. No. - You keep cutting me off.
There is no interest in understanding each other here.
So what partnership do we have?
This is not only me, Kody.
Don't you dare point your finger at me.
You know what? Let me tell you what.
- No. - No.
- You stay and talk. - I'm done listening to you.
You stay and talk.
Ah, no, I'm not going to
because you're not listening.
You're not listening to me.
And I'm not going to.
Okay. So we're done?
Goodbye.
you.
Shut it off.
That was really difficult to watch.
I gotta imagine that this has gotta be
one of the worst fights that you've ever had
before with Janelle.
Hmm.
So you fought like this before?
Uh, in 30 years, yeah, we've had a couple like that.
Not many.
Were you surprised at how heated this got?
Um, I triggered really, really badly.
They... She talked about the Christmas tree
for this party they were gonna have as a family
and it triggered me. And--
So that's why it escalated?
Oh, I take credit for that.
Yeah, sure.
It escalated because I've got a lot of, uh...
you know, contempt for...
the way she's treated me.
And I think that... No, I'm accusing them.
They say, "No, no, no, we're not doing that."
But I think they're trash talking me because,
um, it makes...
You know, if I'm small,
it makes them feel okay for how they treated me.
Listen, I might not have been in love,
but I was being loving,
and I was trying to love, okay?
Sometimes I would feel in love, all right?
So I was doing, I was making all the effort.
That the emotion wasn't always perfectly there.
I don't think I'm accountable for that part of it.
Coming up...
Are you jealous that they're talking to each other now?
I'm jealous because
they're behaving the way they should have
for 25 years now.
Does he feel betrayed because Janelle is friends with you?
Yes.
For sure.
And I'm like, "Well, buddy,
this is what jealousy looks like."
See?
See? See?
This is what jealousy looks like.
Here you go.
Don't you dare point your finger at me.
You know what? Let me tell you what.
- No. - No.
- You stay and talk. - I'm done listening to you.
You stay and talk.
Ah, no, I'm not going to
because you're not listening.
You're not listening to me.
And I'm not going to.
- Okay. So we're done? - Goodbye.
[bleep] you.
It's hard to watch, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, it is hard to watch.
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
I can see lots of things that went wrong.
Have you guys fought like this before?
No. No. I don't think we've ever fought like this.
I mean, Kody has had harsh words with me
and I've had harsh words with him,
but not to this... Not to this level.
- Right. - For sure.
You mentioned that you see things
and now, looking at it, what do you see?
Um, you know, I went in even with the talking points
because I knew he was gonna come in really strong
to this argument.
But I just, I shut down,
like I couldn't even express myself,
and then he just wouldn't let me.
And I feel like now,
I wish it would've been a little bit more like,
"Hey, look, this isn't working anymore."
Um...
yeah, it was just too emotional.
It was a lot of finger pointing,
a lot of finger pointing.
And did that start, like, getting you going?
I was like,
"Well, okay, then let's go."
- Okay. - You know what I mean?
'Cause like, there was no...
In all of our communication, it's never been...
It's always been about something else
somebody else did, you know?
Or that you did.
Or it's never like, "Well, I could've done this better."
He never self-reflects and says,
"Hey, I could've... I could've done this better."
I think he really needs to do a lot of self-introspection.
And that's really hard to do.
That's really hard to do.
And maybe he has been, I don't know.
I can't... I can't say,
but it doesn't feel like it
from me being an outsider.
It doesn't feel like it
because there's still a lot of blame going on.
Mmm-hmm.
What did he tell you about the fight?
He told me that, um, when he saw the Christmas tree
and he realized, and she sat there
and said she was take...
Taking it over to the, um, the rental
to spend that time with Christine with the tree,
it really upset him.
And, um, I know that that was one of the triggers,
I guess you'd say for him.
Why do you think that upset him so much?
Because Christine left him.
And so, Janelle is still his wife.
And so, what he was expecting from her was support.
And what he thought, what he saw happening,
and what he felt like was happening
was that she was giving more support
and more understanding
and siding with Christine.
So he feels like she picks sides?
Yeah.
She never once expressed any empathy to me.
During the breakup with Christine?
Never.
She sided with Christine,
and then with that, just...
Her and I just gradually just slowly unwound to this point.
Okay.
So you think that she sided with Christine,
she never showed you any empathy,
any love, any like, "I'm really...
I don't think she's capable of it.
I don't think she... I don't...
It's weird to me that she wouldn't just go,
"God, that's just so sad. That's hard." Or whatever.
Are you jealous that they're talking to each other now?
I am jealous because they're behaving
the way they should have for 25 years, now.
Yeah. It's like I see it as a big FU to Kody.
It's like, we're gonna get along now
because this will really piss Kody off.
Does he feel betrayed because Janelle is friends with you?
Yes. For sure.
And I'm like, "Well, buddy,
this is what jealousy looks like."
See?
See? See?
This is what jealousy looks like.
Here you go.
Here... Now you see how hard it is
when two people have a bond.
Janelle and I have an awesome bond.
And maybe he's jealous about that bond.
Maybe he's jealous that we co-parented.
Now you see what it's like, buddy, and it sucks.
It sucks that sometimes she picked me over you
because she can talk to me
and I will work things out with her.
And because we've had our fights
and we've had our disagreements,
but we work them out.
So, in that scene, he's probably getting a dose
of what it's like to be a sister wife.
Here you go, buddy.
This is what's been like for 26 years.
- Mmm-hmm. - Take off your blinders
and look and see what it's like for us.
Christine has said,
well, they're getting along and they chose each other.
And now, Kody understands how it feels like
to be a sister wife.
I mean, sure. Reverse the tables.
If you look at it from a perspective of one-on-one,
institutionally, it's an unfair lifestyle.
I never said it wasn't.
They gotta choose their husband and they chose.
There's other things that happened during that time
and I can't tell you what they were,
but Janelle and I were not getting closer.
We're getting farther apart.
But is it because in your mind,
you thought that she chose sides with Christine
and that... Maybe you wrote her off as a result of that?
- Did-- - No, I never wrote her off.
I just didn't feel the same kind of devotions
to the relationship.
You know, just before Christmas,
we talked about Thanksgiving stuff
and I had just had Covid.
And Janelle was gone on vacation with Christine
when I got Covid.
And it was pretty dark.
It was pretty dark. It felt like such a betrayal.
That the two of them were together?
Well, yeah, when I was sick.
So I was on vacation.
Kody called me at the hotel and he's like I'm really sick.
And I'm like okay.
And I was getting ready to call Christine
and say we gotta go home.
Um, so I called the doctor
because he was freaking me out.
He was really scaring me.
So I'm like okay, should I call for oxygen?
Should I call for, like... I don't know.
Like, I didn't know what to do.
And I did consider coming home,
but he's like no, don't come home.
You can't come over to the house anyway.
There's nothing you can do.
So that's why you don't get why Kody is making a big deal
about you not having compassion for him
when he had Covid?
So compassion for him is...
that for the months afterwards
that he's like I almost died,
I'm like, I get it, I get it.
But you know what,
this conversation is not about that you almost died.
This conversation is about something else.
And I'm sorry, you can't use it as an excuse,
just like I think he uses this anger
or this betrayal with Christine as an excuse.
He called when we were on our trip
and there we are having a lovely time together
and he goes, "I need you to come home
so you can get some stuff for me."
And she's like, "Okay."
I'm like, no, no. What are you gonna do?
I'm like, all you're going to do
is go to the store and buy it for him
and then take it to his house
and leave it on the doorstep.
You will never see him.
You can't take care of him.
And straight up, when you had Covid,
did he go take care of you?
No. We're not leaving.
You are staying here on this vacation with me.
Coming up...
There's a lot of bullying in the family.
And I'm just not willing to sit here
and put up with it anymore.
And later...
After this fight,
I felt like this huge burden had been lifted from me.
What was the burden?
I didn't have to keep putting effort
into this relationship anymore with Kody.
I... That moment, I was thinking to myself,
I don't ever wanna talk to Janelle again.
Eleven. And marker please.
So you couldn't get over the betrayal
of her picking sides with Christine?
Oh, at that moment, I can... I can get over with it.
- We can figure it out. - Right, at that moment.
We're talking about at that moment.
That was the trigger was the...
And the betrayal of not backing me up with the kids.
But if you saw that...
if you saw that trigger happening,
how easy wouldn't it have been for you to be like,
"All right, I'd want to show up.
I wanna see the kids during the holidays.
Can I show up?"
Why couldn't you ask that question?
I feel like... Okay. So, let's go to this point.
- Personally... - Yeah.
...I feel like as we have seen,
they're trained to blame Robyn.
Um, the kids are estranged
and Janelle has even been going,
"Oh, Robyn is this broken dub
that Kody has to protect
from all the [bleep]." Yes.
I feel like they have all been absolutely [bleep] to her
and what's weird is they're [bleep] to me
and I just put up with it.
You know, it's just... For some reasons,
water off a duck's back, but...
I did not want them separating me and her
from each other.
So, where I go, she's going to go.
And where she goes with that part of the family,
she isn't going to feel welcome.
And her kids aren't going to want to be
around those other kids.
There's a lot of bullying in the family.
And I'm just not willing to sit here
and put up with it anymore.
Were you given an invitation to go over to Janelle's?
No.
And would you have gone if you were given an invitation?
Yes. Yes, I would have.
You would've brought your kids?
- Yes. - And you would've felt like
that was a safe space for your kids to be in?
Um, if she would have invited me
and they said they wanted us, I would have gone.
I would have been safe, yeah.
Kody had shared with me
that he didn't think it was a safe space
for you or the kids to go over to Janelle's.
I think the reason why he's saying that
is just because of this idea
that the boys are blaming me for stuff.
Mmm-hmm.
I kept thinking that they would...
He would work something out with the boys...
- Or-- - ...so that it can be okay.
Yeah. But it feels like
there's two different non-negotiables, right?
- For both of them. - Yeah. Yeah.
So, for Janelle, it's the kids.
- Yeah. - And for him,
a lot of it revolves around you,
you know, and protecting you.
- Like, get along with you. - He... No.
And I... And I think--
And stop blaming you.
And... Okay. And I understand that that's...
As a husband, that's his right,
I guess, to say it, but I also...
I never wanted an apology.
I didn't ask for one.
I never expected one.
I was not saying this to him.
And I... And I feel very frustrated
that my name got brought into this
because this wasn't something I was interested in.
The whole apology thing was... He corrected himself.
He doesn't want an apology from the boys.
But, you know, the mechanics were still the same.
He kept saying after Robyn's prompting a little bit,
he came to conversation
of the boys can come and make peace,
have a conversation, whatever it was,
basically make it right with me.
And then, they can come over for the holidays.
What made you wanna walk out?
I was just done talking to her.
- You're not listening. - You're not listening to me.
And I'm not going to.
- Okay. So, we're done? - Goodbye.
you.
I... Literally, in that moment,
I think what I was thinking is this is...
This woman has... There's just no way...
I just... It was like I... We're done.
I'm so angry, I can't live like this.
I can't be betrayed like this and be okay with it.
I can't have, you know, as...
I'm supposed to be the head of the family
and I've been undermined completely here.
It's just... You're in a tough spot
and you're questioning yourself,
"Do I put more effort into this or not?"
And I think Janelle and I, both.
This is not an accusation to Janelle.
Janelle and I both seen
so little value in the relationship
that we have not made those steps
to bring it back together.
Janelle sees more value
in the relationship with Christine
than she does in the relationship with me.
But in the heat of the moment, at that moment.
I don't ever... I...
That moment, I was thinking to myself,
"I don't ever wanna talk to Janelle again."
I am... I was...
I felt so betrayed.
And her reaction to you...
when she said don't walk away?
Yeah.
And then, she curses at you?
Yeah.
I just--
What were you saying at this point?
Go work it out with her.
Go talk to her.
And it's weird to me because I kept saying,
"You guys have how many years together.
You have six kids."
Yeah, 30 years.
Yeah.
That's worth looking at.
You know, I said that to him over and over.
You know, that's...
Sorry.
That's worth looking at.
That's worth fighting for.
I'm like, "Why can't you just go talk and see
if there's something worth fighting for?
That's a long time.
That's a lot of kids."
And to just, like, you know, toss it to the side,
I said, "That's one fight."
After this fight,
I...
I was pretty emotional for a few minutes
because the emotional shock of it.
I... I've never fought with Kody like this.
And then, I had to run some errands
and I just remember feeling very relieved.
It was this really strangest thing.
I remember where I was.
I was sitting in this flat parking lot here in Flagstaff.
And all of a sudden, I'm like,
I felt like this huge burden had been lifted from me.
I felt relieved.
What was the burden?
I didn't have to keep putting effort
into this relationship anymore with Kody.
Coming up...
Didn't go really good last time we talked.
No.
I do think that I wanna stay separated for now.
You just felt that you were there to be,
- what, a physical boy toy? - Yes.
Like, some pool boy.
So, you just felt like a resource?
She just felt like a good-looking--
I felt like a piece of meat.
I don't know. Like, he loves his pecs so much
that I'm like, "Hmm, I don't know,
you love them so much now."
Okay [indistinct] channel.
So, how much time had passed between that fight
and you guys sitting down and having lunch?
- It'd been two months. - Wow.
Two months.
I hadn't talked to him or seen him in two months.
So, you guys distanced yourselves after the fight?
No texting, no talking, no anything?
No.
I just didn't want to.
He didn't reach out to me, I didn't reach out to him.
Like, there was radio silence for us.
Well, let's take a look because...
- All right. - it was...
There was a lot that was said between the two of you
and something that really kind of shaped
the future of your relationship.
Thank you.
- Hi. - Hi.
- How's it going? - Good.
- Long time no see. - Yeah.
Are you gonna give me a hug?
That was a high expectation.
- How are you? - Good.
Didn't go really good last time we talked.
No.
I do think that I wanna stay separated for now.
Really? You wanna stay separated?
Yeah. I do.
I'm sort of surprised
that she doesn't wanna try and reconcile,
that she wants to be separated.
We've been separated
probably two or three times in the past.
I always felt like that was because
she couldn't manage the relationship
with her sister wives.
I never felt like that was over me,
but maybe I was wrong.
I'm not gonna be angry with you anymore, okay?
I'm just... So, you know,
if you wanna do a separation, I understand.
But I'm not gonna be angry anymore.
If I get angry, I'm gonna leave.
I'm not gonna be accusatory.
I realize that I'm morphing this grief.
You know, for the last month or so,
I've vacillated between
I never ever wanna see you again to,
you know, just, so I gotta figure it out.
I do miss Kody.
We are very best friends.
We have a lot of conversations.
I miss him in my bed.
I miss him in my house. I miss him.
But I'm not being treated
the way I deserve to be treated here.
Well, this lunch went better than I thought.
I was sort of--
What did you think that was gonna happen?
I don't know.
You didn't think that I missed you?
Well, no, 'cause--
You didn't think I wanna kiss you on the lips
and see you again?
Here's the thing, you and I can be simple.
It's everything else...
that is complicated.
It's like, yes, on a basic level,
we are simple, if there was nothing going on,
but he and I, we're on some sort of desert island.
We would be great.
Let me tell you, we would be great.
But no.
Life is not that.
I do not know how to reconcile with you
unless my kids can all be... Kody, you didn't--
I'm not... I'm not making any--
You haven't even talked to Savanah in six weeks.
So, Janelle's not in love with me.
I think she thinks I'm hot.
I got nice pecs and a great six-pack abs,
but that's all she's interested in.
I'm like, "Whoa, buddy,
you're way missing the boat here."
There's way more to a marriage than just physical attraction
and I feel like we're in big danger here.
I just want to kind of discuss.
I feel like there's a real difference
between him sitting down with you
- and having a conversation... - Yeah.
- about your separation... - Yeah.
than with Christine.
I do feel like we had all aspects of a marriage
and they were healthy.
Um...
You like his pecs?
Could you believe that?
I was like...
Sorry.
He didn't know what he's talking about.
I mean, it was fine. I didn't care.
There's so much more to a marriage than that, right?
But it's a good... It helps.
I don't know.
Like, he loves his pecs so much
that I'm like, "Hmm, I don't know.
You love them so much now."
And, like, they're great but, like, I'm...
It's not... It's not what it's about for me.
It's not what it's about for you?
It's about emotional connection for me,
you know what I mean,
and feeling like, um...
just that you're... Yeah, that connection.
Hey, I gotta say something.
- They missed something there. - What did they miss?
The, you know, the great pecs and the six-pack abs
is all about the fact that Janelle has always seen me
as a physical specimen and as a resource
and not ever really dove into my humanity.
When you say your humanity, you mean your vulnerability?
- Right, right-- - That you just felt
that you were there to be, what, a physical boy toy?
Yes.
I... Like, some pool boy.
So, you just felt like a resource?
I felt like a piece of meat.
Like, in what way?
Like... I... You have to explain what that means
because I don't know much
about your relationship with Janelle.
Yeah.
- Did you just have a-- - No, no.
Did you guys just have great sex?
Hmm.
Next time on Sister Wives: One On One.
She was attracted to me.
I know she wasn't in love with me.
There was definitely physical compatibility.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Were you in love with Meri when you married her?
I told her I loved her
and she thinks we're mad about each other
and we played that out.
But isn't it not about him hearing you?
Isn't it about you being heard?
Oh, my voice will be heard.
I will no longer be silent.
I don't know why Meri hasn't left before now.
I would have.
How has he sabotaged your relationship?
Um...
he picks fights with me.
Why?
I wanted to punish myself.
Go be happy with each other for goodness sakes.
Let the rest of us go.
Speaking of Christine.
- Yeah. - Have you met David?
Yes. I think he's great.
Hey, David, come on out.
You're gonna meet the love of my life.
He's amazing.
Hi, David.