1 00:00:01,344 --> 00:00:02,896 Previously on Sister Wives... 2 00:00:02,896 --> 00:00:04,310 This whole thing with Kody and Christine 3 00:00:04,310 --> 00:00:06,379 has just floored me. 4 00:00:06,379 --> 00:00:08,827 I'm trying really hard not to cry. 5 00:00:08,827 --> 00:00:10,000 Are you angry with her? 6 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,344 Are you struggling with her? 7 00:00:12,241 --> 00:00:13,724 It's not what I would've expected 8 00:00:13,724 --> 00:00:16,517 from Christine to just walk away. 9 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,620 We need to kind of carry the torch 10 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:23,620 'cause he's been kind of carrying it and he's tired. 11 00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:27,137 Life is heavy on him, like he doesn't smile, 12 00:00:27,137 --> 00:00:28,344 he doesn't laugh. 13 00:00:28,344 --> 00:00:30,724 I don't recognize him. 14 00:00:35,137 --> 00:00:36,275 - How's it going? - How are you? 15 00:00:37,931 --> 00:00:40,793 I really, really would like to have an amiable divorce. 16 00:00:40,793 --> 00:00:42,793 You know, and be able to talk to him about stuff. 17 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:46,413 I'm not feeling like I'm in a great place. 18 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:48,310 So Gwendlyn's not gonna be here for Christmas? 19 00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:49,448 Uh-uh. 20 00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:51,137 I was sick during her birthday. 21 00:00:51,137 --> 00:00:52,310 And you were also out of it. 22 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:53,344 She was... 23 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,034 Was she thinking that was funny, too? 24 00:00:55,034 --> 00:00:55,965 What are you gonna do? 25 00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:57,448 Like, you can either laugh about things 26 00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:58,517 or cry about things. 27 00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,448 And if you can't look back with a sense of humor, 28 00:01:00,448 --> 00:01:01,344 what a waste. 29 00:01:03,379 --> 00:01:04,689 Well, I'm not laughing. 30 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,413 I'm not laughing here. I'm not laughing. 31 00:01:06,413 --> 00:01:08,344 I haven't been laughing with her leaving. 32 00:01:08,344 --> 00:01:10,586 I'm not married to him anymore. 33 00:01:10,586 --> 00:01:12,000 It's so freaking awesome. 34 00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,310 I've really struggled. 35 00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:47,034 I've been pretty grouchy. Very, very angry. 36 00:01:47,034 --> 00:01:49,689 So you're still, kind of, angry and stuff? 37 00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:54,724 We were talking with Janelle the other day. 38 00:01:54,724 --> 00:01:57,793 I literally lost my [bleep]. 39 00:01:58,965 --> 00:02:00,758 I just survived a really, really dark place. 40 00:02:00,758 --> 00:02:01,827 I understand that. 41 00:02:01,827 --> 00:02:03,310 You don't give a [bleep] though. 42 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:05,310 Look at you dismissing it. 43 00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:06,275 Okay. 44 00:02:06,275 --> 00:02:07,241 Would you ever have any empathy for me? 45 00:02:07,241 --> 00:02:08,344 Can we just keep talking-- 46 00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:09,724 When you're in pain, I try to understand you. 47 00:02:09,724 --> 00:02:10,689 Kody. 48 00:02:10,689 --> 00:02:12,206 Janelle, this is a really bad idea 49 00:02:12,206 --> 00:02:13,793 for you to walk off on this one. 50 00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:17,000 Well, you... All you're doing is yelling at me. 51 00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:20,206 Yeah. I've got anger issues. 52 00:02:23,965 --> 00:02:25,172 I don't wanna be here. 53 00:02:25,172 --> 00:02:26,655 I don't wanna be here with her. 54 00:02:28,034 --> 00:02:29,241 I know that Kody's mad. 55 00:02:29,241 --> 00:02:32,000 I've known that Kody's been mad for a long time. 56 00:02:34,965 --> 00:02:36,275 I mean, it's just obvious. 57 00:02:36,275 --> 00:02:39,034 He just... He just is always mad. 58 00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:45,827 Christine herself, her face doesn't bother me. 59 00:02:45,827 --> 00:02:49,689 It's what she's doing with our children, 60 00:02:49,689 --> 00:02:53,068 talking behind my back about the reason she left. 61 00:02:53,068 --> 00:02:54,862 Kody can get mad at me about a lot of things. 62 00:02:54,862 --> 00:02:57,931 He can name-call me. That's just fine. 63 00:02:57,931 --> 00:03:00,655 When he sits there and he tells me to my face 64 00:03:00,655 --> 00:03:02,896 that I am pitting his children against him. 65 00:03:02,896 --> 00:03:04,344 No, no. That is not true. 66 00:03:04,344 --> 00:03:06,655 I am their sounding board. 67 00:03:06,655 --> 00:03:08,896 They get to talk to me about things 68 00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:11,448 that are hard and I listen. 69 00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,034 You get me in the wrong place 70 00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:16,724 and I'm just venom and vitriol. 71 00:03:16,724 --> 00:03:19,000 So sometimes you still hate me. 72 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,482 It's okay. 73 00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:25,206 I don't want you to pretend, there's no point in that. 74 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,862 I think it gives you satisfaction 75 00:03:26,862 --> 00:03:28,034 if I did hate you. 76 00:03:28,034 --> 00:03:29,137 - It doesn't. - Are you sure? 77 00:03:29,137 --> 00:03:31,655 It's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking. 78 00:03:31,655 --> 00:03:33,172 I really think about him less 79 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,068 than he thinks I think about him. 80 00:03:35,068 --> 00:03:37,551 I don't really even think about him that much. 81 00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:40,344 Oh, my gosh. 82 00:03:41,413 --> 00:03:43,448 I wish I was more ambivalent but-- 83 00:03:43,448 --> 00:03:44,896 You don't have to pretend. 84 00:03:44,896 --> 00:03:47,103 I don't want you to pretend, there's no point in that. 85 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,655 I drive by your house 86 00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:51,413 and I'm having these, like, literally anxiety attacks. 87 00:03:52,241 --> 00:03:55,172 Coming back to Flagstaff is hard. 88 00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:57,034 It's so hard. 89 00:03:58,379 --> 00:04:00,344 I think she's Machiavellian. 90 00:04:00,344 --> 00:04:01,620 She plays nice 91 00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,137 while stabbing you in the back. 92 00:04:03,137 --> 00:04:06,103 The evil thoughts I had about you. 93 00:04:06,103 --> 00:04:08,000 - Yeah, that's okay. - You know, like, 94 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,586 you know, but I... 95 00:04:09,586 --> 00:04:11,275 And I was just, like, eh, you know? 96 00:04:11,275 --> 00:04:13,379 So is grief over me leaving more than anything? 97 00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:15,620 - It's grief of, um-- - Just that it's over. 98 00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:16,793 Something's over. 99 00:04:16,793 --> 00:04:18,103 Hmm. Even more than that. 100 00:04:18,103 --> 00:04:20,310 It was bigger than that. It was my big picture. 101 00:04:22,758 --> 00:04:24,034 It's like he's trying to blame me 102 00:04:24,034 --> 00:04:25,103 for destroying his big picture 103 00:04:25,103 --> 00:04:27,586 but doesn't see that his actions 104 00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:29,482 over the course of 10 years 105 00:04:29,482 --> 00:04:33,724 is what has demolished his big picture. 106 00:04:33,724 --> 00:04:35,241 You can't just pick favorites. 107 00:04:35,241 --> 00:04:36,793 You can't just stay at one person's house 108 00:04:36,793 --> 00:04:38,862 and expect to still have a big picture 109 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,586 of a big, huge, happy, big family. 110 00:04:41,586 --> 00:04:43,068 We don't even have relationships 111 00:04:43,068 --> 00:04:44,827 with most of the people in that picture. 112 00:04:44,827 --> 00:04:48,344 My relationship with Christine was bad, 113 00:04:48,344 --> 00:04:51,482 is bad because of me and Christine, 114 00:04:51,482 --> 00:04:53,241 not because of Robyn. 115 00:04:53,241 --> 00:04:54,482 Well... 116 00:04:54,482 --> 00:04:57,103 I'm really sorry. This was never my intention. 117 00:04:58,310 --> 00:05:00,689 She's trying to say it's heartbreaking. 118 00:05:00,689 --> 00:05:05,448 She's acting like, in every way possible, 119 00:05:05,448 --> 00:05:09,689 that her life is better than it has ever been. 120 00:05:09,689 --> 00:05:12,310 I've thought about doing breakup counseling with you, 121 00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:13,724 like, hey, we're done. 122 00:05:13,724 --> 00:05:17,103 Let's get in a place where we can be functional, 123 00:05:17,103 --> 00:05:18,068 'cause I don't wanna sit here and-- 124 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,413 Post-breakup counseling? 125 00:05:19,413 --> 00:05:20,931 - Yes. - What for? 126 00:05:20,931 --> 00:05:22,586 Well, maybe all I need is grief counseling. 127 00:05:22,586 --> 00:05:24,000 Well, listen, I gotta get in a place 128 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,000 where I don't hate you. 129 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,172 So I never speak bad about you to my children. 130 00:05:27,172 --> 00:05:29,586 - Oh. That'd be great. - That's my worry. 131 00:05:29,586 --> 00:05:31,448 If you need to have some sort of, like, 132 00:05:31,448 --> 00:05:34,655 post-breakup counseling with me, 133 00:05:34,655 --> 00:05:36,275 that's fine. 134 00:05:37,482 --> 00:05:38,827 The whole thing is very heartbreaking 135 00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:39,758 and it's very sad. 136 00:05:39,758 --> 00:05:41,000 That's why I'm talking about counseling. 137 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:41,965 If we go through something counseling. 138 00:05:41,965 --> 00:05:43,793 - Oh, sure. - We get over it. 139 00:05:43,793 --> 00:05:44,827 We shake hands. 140 00:05:44,827 --> 00:05:46,413 We go, "Hey, have a good life." 141 00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:47,931 I think counseling would be good 142 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,586 for Kody, some... In one way or another. 143 00:05:50,586 --> 00:05:53,344 Kody's dealing with a lot right now. 144 00:05:53,344 --> 00:05:55,034 I mean a lot. 145 00:05:55,034 --> 00:05:57,137 I sometimes wonder how he's able 146 00:05:57,137 --> 00:05:58,448 to keep his head above water. 147 00:05:59,241 --> 00:06:01,931 I would do counseling 148 00:06:01,931 --> 00:06:05,586 with anybody in the family that wanted to do it with me. 149 00:06:05,586 --> 00:06:07,793 I would do it with Christine. 150 00:06:07,793 --> 00:06:09,034 I'm open to talking to someone. 151 00:06:09,034 --> 00:06:10,689 I feel like we're gonna do this 152 00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:11,724 for the rest of our lives. 153 00:06:11,724 --> 00:06:12,896 You know, be in each other's lives 154 00:06:12,896 --> 00:06:14,586 for the rest of our lives still just 'cause, you know, 155 00:06:14,586 --> 00:06:16,034 we have kids together and everything. 156 00:06:23,344 --> 00:06:25,206 Well, I'll ask Pat... 157 00:06:26,448 --> 00:06:28,827 if she's actually practicing in Utah 158 00:06:28,827 --> 00:06:30,000 and we can set something up. 159 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,000 - Sure. - But I gotta ask a counselor 160 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,413 if that's even a good idea. 161 00:06:34,413 --> 00:06:35,448 I feel like, yeah, 162 00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:36,896 I need to figure out how to forgive her. 163 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,241 That'd be a good idea. 164 00:06:38,241 --> 00:06:41,103 But am I ever gonna trust her? Probably not. 165 00:06:42,517 --> 00:06:43,793 Kody's been bringing up 166 00:06:43,793 --> 00:06:46,137 going to counseling and therapy for years. 167 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:51,551 We're not going to do it. 168 00:06:51,551 --> 00:06:52,655 I'm just gonna flat out tell you. 169 00:06:52,655 --> 00:06:53,689 We're just not going to. 170 00:06:57,655 --> 00:07:00,758 I think sometimes Kody in his sort of, 171 00:07:00,758 --> 00:07:03,586 like, optimistic way of looking at the world, 172 00:07:03,586 --> 00:07:06,517 his mental sunshine kind of thing, 173 00:07:06,517 --> 00:07:08,965 that he sometimes will miss 174 00:07:08,965 --> 00:07:11,862 some of these red flags. 175 00:07:11,862 --> 00:07:13,862 Even when Christine moved his stuff out, 176 00:07:13,862 --> 00:07:16,448 I really think he thought, "We'll figure it out." 177 00:07:18,448 --> 00:07:22,068 For years, I cared. 178 00:07:22,068 --> 00:07:24,586 Whatever he needed. Whatever he wanted. 179 00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:27,275 I wanted to be the best wife ever. 180 00:07:28,827 --> 00:07:31,137 Even when it didn't matter to him, 181 00:07:31,137 --> 00:07:34,137 I would have done anything 182 00:07:34,137 --> 00:07:36,310 he needed me to do. 183 00:07:37,482 --> 00:07:38,896 But I'm done. 184 00:07:39,344 --> 00:07:40,655 I'm done. 185 00:07:40,655 --> 00:07:43,275 I'm not going to do a thing for him anymore. 186 00:07:43,275 --> 00:07:47,206 I just wanna eventually be able to just be friends. 187 00:07:49,379 --> 00:07:51,551 It's more like how do we move forward 188 00:07:51,551 --> 00:07:53,827 and be able to be in each other's company 189 00:07:53,827 --> 00:07:56,344 and enjoy each other's company. 190 00:07:56,344 --> 00:07:59,000 But I'd rather just come from a sincere place 191 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,103 of just being friends. 192 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,000 I don't know if that's naive. 193 00:08:07,448 --> 00:08:08,724 I don't know either. 194 00:08:13,965 --> 00:08:17,620 There is no way for me to enjoy her company. 195 00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:20,379 I don't understand that she says that. 196 00:08:21,862 --> 00:08:24,413 I've seen Kody over the last few years 197 00:08:24,413 --> 00:08:26,275 just get angrier and angrier. 198 00:08:28,068 --> 00:08:30,689 Like, I don't want to sound like a jerk, 199 00:08:30,689 --> 00:08:33,068 but he's, like... I've really... 200 00:08:33,068 --> 00:08:35,586 Just watching him and... 201 00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:38,724 seeing how he responds to things, 202 00:08:38,724 --> 00:08:41,206 he just seems very angry. 203 00:08:46,103 --> 00:08:47,206 All right. 204 00:08:47,206 --> 00:08:48,310 Thank you for meeting out with me. 205 00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:49,137 Well, okay. 206 00:08:53,965 --> 00:08:54,862 I don't even know what to think 207 00:08:54,862 --> 00:08:55,758 about that conversation. 208 00:08:55,758 --> 00:08:56,862 Oh, my gosh. 209 00:08:56,862 --> 00:08:58,793 I'm just super grateful 210 00:08:58,793 --> 00:09:00,551 that I'm not married to him anymore. 211 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,413 Oh, my gosh. 212 00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:05,379 He's a lot. He's just so intense. 213 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,965 I'm gonna take off. Thanks for lunch. 214 00:09:06,965 --> 00:09:08,241 - Well, see you... - Okay. Thank you. 215 00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:09,931 I'll let you know next time I come in town with True. 216 00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:10,758 All righty. 217 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:11,793 It'll be like in a couple weeks. 218 00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:13,034 - Sounds great. - All right. 219 00:09:13,034 --> 00:09:14,482 - Thanks. - Thank you. Thank you. 220 00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:24,758 One of the things that is confusing for me 221 00:09:24,758 --> 00:09:26,689 is that I don't see the deal-breakers 222 00:09:26,689 --> 00:09:28,310 between Kody and Christine, 223 00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:31,034 but I don't mean to cast judgment, 224 00:09:31,034 --> 00:09:33,034 but I... 225 00:09:33,034 --> 00:09:35,482 And maybe it's just my perception, 226 00:09:35,482 --> 00:09:37,724 but I don't see 227 00:09:38,965 --> 00:09:41,931 where either one of them did something 228 00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:45,206 so heinous and horrible 229 00:09:45,206 --> 00:09:47,689 that it just had to end. 230 00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:51,206 And I can't seem to kind of understand. 231 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,137 I just want it to be done. 232 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,965 I just wanted to get away from her. 233 00:10:07,379 --> 00:10:08,965 It was just... 234 00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:10,689 I don't need any more of this. 235 00:10:20,551 --> 00:10:22,000 This was their first Thanksgiving 236 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,551 in their new house and I really wanted 237 00:10:23,551 --> 00:10:24,689 to be part of it. 238 00:10:24,689 --> 00:10:26,137 Janelle has decided 239 00:10:26,137 --> 00:10:27,793 that she'd rather hang out with Christine. 240 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,551 We're not working like a family. 241 00:10:29,551 --> 00:10:31,103 We're acting like enemies. 242 00:10:45,793 --> 00:10:47,655 It's Thanksgiving... 243 00:10:49,689 --> 00:10:53,241 and I'm at Robyn's house with Meri and the kids. 244 00:10:53,241 --> 00:10:55,103 I don't have my whole family together again. 245 00:10:55,103 --> 00:10:57,724 This is the second Thanksgiving in a row 246 00:10:57,724 --> 00:10:59,068 that we are not all together. 247 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,827 Truely, Ysabel, 248 00:11:04,827 --> 00:11:06,448 and Paedon and I are gonna go to Aspyn 249 00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,827 and Mitch's house for Thanksgiving this year. 250 00:11:08,827 --> 00:11:10,000 They're lovely hosts. 251 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,655 I'm super excited. 252 00:11:11,655 --> 00:11:14,103 They prepare wonderful food. 253 00:11:26,758 --> 00:11:28,896 - Such a Mom thing to say. - I'm rubber and you're glue 254 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:31,034 - whenever I think them-- - I didn't say that. 255 00:11:31,034 --> 00:11:32,862 - Everybody said it. - You said that. You said that. 256 00:11:32,862 --> 00:11:34,482 I said it because all of us said it. 257 00:11:34,482 --> 00:11:35,448 You used to say all the time. 258 00:11:35,448 --> 00:11:37,275 You'd be like, and then, we would... 259 00:11:37,275 --> 00:11:39,206 Then you would insult us and I'd say it back to you 260 00:11:39,206 --> 00:11:40,896 and you'd be like "I already said it." 261 00:11:40,896 --> 00:11:43,551 Maddie and Caleb just bought their first house. 262 00:11:43,551 --> 00:11:46,000 Like dating life, I'd go, "Excuse me?" 263 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,862 And you would go, "Why, did you fart?" 264 00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:50,275 This was their first Thanksgiving 265 00:11:50,275 --> 00:11:51,655 in their new house and I really wanted 266 00:11:51,655 --> 00:11:52,448 to be part of it. 267 00:11:52,448 --> 00:11:53,896 So that was an extra fun bonus. 268 00:11:58,931 --> 00:12:00,310 Don't do that. 269 00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:01,413 You're tenderizing it. 270 00:12:01,413 --> 00:12:02,827 Okay. Look, we're gonna rub some oil. 271 00:12:02,827 --> 00:12:03,827 - Okay? - Rubadub-dub. 272 00:12:03,827 --> 00:12:04,655 Rub that oil on it. 273 00:12:04,655 --> 00:12:05,655 You don't wanna rub it? 274 00:12:05,655 --> 00:12:07,034 Rub the oil all over the breasts. 275 00:12:07,034 --> 00:12:08,137 Mmm. 276 00:12:08,137 --> 00:12:10,103 All over the skin and the turkey. Okay? 277 00:12:10,103 --> 00:12:13,034 My little... My babies that are there, Maddie, Caleb, 278 00:12:13,034 --> 00:12:15,586 the grand babies, Hunter, Savannah, and Ysabel. 279 00:12:15,586 --> 00:12:17,275 It was really fun. 280 00:12:17,275 --> 00:12:19,413 Very different than the Thanksgivings 281 00:12:19,413 --> 00:12:22,103 I've had for many, many years, but it was fun. 282 00:12:23,137 --> 00:12:24,931 Okay. It's kinda sticky, right? 283 00:12:24,931 --> 00:12:26,137 It's supposed to be sort of... 284 00:12:26,137 --> 00:12:28,172 It's supposed to be sort of sticky? 285 00:12:28,172 --> 00:12:29,620 Today for Thanksgiving we're going over 286 00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:30,655 to Aspyn and Mitch's house. 287 00:12:30,655 --> 00:12:31,689 We're not filming it 288 00:12:31,689 --> 00:12:33,724 because it's Mitch's family's year, 289 00:12:33,724 --> 00:12:35,586 but Aspyn and Mitch said that we could come over 290 00:12:35,586 --> 00:12:37,206 'cause there's just a few of us. 291 00:12:39,448 --> 00:12:41,034 Janelle's making my rolls this year 292 00:12:41,034 --> 00:12:42,827 for Thanksgiving at Maddie's house. 293 00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:44,379 Best compliment ever, right? 294 00:12:44,379 --> 00:12:45,655 Okay. 295 00:12:45,655 --> 00:12:48,206 - Too much flour. - What's gonna happen? 296 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,310 Have they already risen once? 297 00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:52,551 No. 298 00:12:52,551 --> 00:12:54,586 The dough is a little bit sticky, 299 00:12:54,586 --> 00:12:56,689 but you're supposed to be able to handle it. 300 00:12:56,689 --> 00:12:58,275 So if you can't handle the dough, 301 00:12:58,275 --> 00:13:00,068 you just need to add a little bit more flour. 302 00:13:00,068 --> 00:13:02,000 - Okay. - Oh, it's okay. 303 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:02,827 It's okay. 304 00:13:02,827 --> 00:13:04,103 It was, like, I almost couldn't-- 305 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,103 Okay. All right. 306 00:13:06,103 --> 00:13:08,724 So this will be okay. All right, cool. 307 00:13:08,724 --> 00:13:10,034 You know, it's just one more piece 308 00:13:10,034 --> 00:13:12,379 that makes this Thanksgiving feel a little bit 309 00:13:12,379 --> 00:13:15,103 more family oriented to have Christine. 310 00:13:15,103 --> 00:13:17,034 Even if it's for just a little bit to reassure me 311 00:13:17,034 --> 00:13:18,758 that the rolls are okay. 312 00:13:20,034 --> 00:13:22,034 - We're serving our kids. - Do you wanna get maybe-- 313 00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,034 There was a piece where I kept thinking, 314 00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:25,862 I'm really, really enjoying myself here. 315 00:13:25,862 --> 00:13:28,862 Should I feel guilty that I'm enjoying myself here? 316 00:13:28,862 --> 00:13:30,827 This represents a really big break 317 00:13:30,827 --> 00:13:32,068 in our family tradition. 318 00:13:32,068 --> 00:13:34,448 I mean, I had all these mixed thoughts going on, 319 00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:36,448 but I really was happy to be here. 320 00:13:39,793 --> 00:13:41,655 It was a really great day. 321 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,758 We were having a lot of fun. 322 00:13:43,758 --> 00:13:45,000 It was just... 323 00:13:45,586 --> 00:13:47,172 It was perfect really. 324 00:13:49,379 --> 00:13:50,379 Our family has been hurting 325 00:13:50,379 --> 00:13:51,517 for a long time. 326 00:13:51,517 --> 00:13:53,965 We've done our best to... 327 00:13:55,379 --> 00:13:58,034 be as okay as possible, 328 00:13:58,034 --> 00:14:01,827 but there's still hurt feelings from 12 years ago. 329 00:14:01,827 --> 00:14:03,724 It's just everything's been accumulating 330 00:14:03,724 --> 00:14:05,620 and accumulating for years. 331 00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:07,310 It's at a breaking point. 332 00:14:07,310 --> 00:14:10,551 Sorry, it's just at a breaking point. 333 00:14:10,551 --> 00:14:13,241 The big shakeup wasn't caused by Robyn. 334 00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:16,517 It was caused by the fallout of going public. 335 00:14:16,517 --> 00:14:19,275 And that decision was made by our family 336 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,827 before we met Robyn. 337 00:14:22,137 --> 00:14:24,896 You know, I was set to have the holidays 338 00:14:24,896 --> 00:14:28,068 with the family here in Flagstaff. 339 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,862 But there's this huge looming problem. 340 00:14:30,862 --> 00:14:32,931 You know, I basically told the kids 341 00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:34,758 what their dad was requiring of them 342 00:14:34,758 --> 00:14:36,620 in order to come to Thanksgiving. 343 00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:39,413 That's what I did. I delivered the facts. 344 00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:43,034 I delivered what he said. He needs to do something here. 345 00:14:44,241 --> 00:14:45,448 He's the head of the family. 346 00:14:45,448 --> 00:14:46,620 He wants to be the patriarch. 347 00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:47,931 This is part of that role. 348 00:14:50,137 --> 00:14:51,379 I made the mistake 349 00:14:51,379 --> 00:14:53,689 of not managing my family properly 350 00:14:53,689 --> 00:14:55,379 and Christine has left. 351 00:14:55,379 --> 00:14:57,310 And Janelle has decided 352 00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:59,206 because we're not in the greatest place 353 00:14:59,206 --> 00:15:01,000 that she'd rather hang out with Christine. 354 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,931 We're not working like a family. 355 00:15:02,931 --> 00:15:04,413 We're not a family. 356 00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:07,103 We're acting like enemies. 357 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,034 We're all separated. 358 00:15:12,034 --> 00:15:15,482 Except for Meri and Kody and I are together with my kids. 359 00:15:16,862 --> 00:15:19,103 You know, my three older kids when I told them 360 00:15:19,103 --> 00:15:22,931 that we were gonna be separate for Thanksgiving again, 361 00:15:22,931 --> 00:15:25,172 they dealt with feelings of rejection. 362 00:15:25,172 --> 00:15:28,413 They've dealt with feelings of hurt and heartbreak. 363 00:15:28,413 --> 00:15:31,172 The question was asked why don't they care 364 00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:34,482 and I... 365 00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:43,310 They've dealt with that heartbreak before. 366 00:15:45,068 --> 00:15:46,379 To just reminding them 367 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,137 that it's not necessarily personal, 368 00:15:50,413 --> 00:15:51,793 apologizing to them 369 00:15:51,793 --> 00:15:54,000 for the being innocent parties in this, 370 00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:57,379 that they're getting hurt by this. 371 00:15:59,241 --> 00:16:00,482 I wish we would've gotten things 372 00:16:00,482 --> 00:16:02,172 straightened out before now. 373 00:16:03,206 --> 00:16:04,413 There's been a lot of offense, 374 00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:06,241 a lot of struggle, a lot of heartache. 375 00:16:06,241 --> 00:16:07,310 Um... 376 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:10,689 and I don't... 377 00:16:10,689 --> 00:16:12,379 I don't know what to do about it. 378 00:16:13,310 --> 00:16:14,931 And I hope that over the next month 379 00:16:14,931 --> 00:16:15,931 or over the next year, 380 00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:17,793 I can get these things straightened out 381 00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:19,965 and just find peace and love... 382 00:16:23,206 --> 00:16:24,689 with my family. 383 00:16:24,689 --> 00:16:26,551 Everything's changing. 384 00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,758 And I guess I'm at peace. 385 00:16:29,758 --> 00:16:31,931 I'm in a very peaceful mood. 386 00:16:31,931 --> 00:16:34,793 I'm surrounded by people who are not offended by me 387 00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:35,896 right now. 388 00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:40,379 I'm just sad about it. 389 00:16:40,379 --> 00:16:44,758 I'm just sad about that this is what our family 390 00:16:44,758 --> 00:16:46,931 has turned into. 391 00:16:46,931 --> 00:16:51,137 Our holidays are not the big family function 392 00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:52,965 that they used to be. 393 00:16:55,655 --> 00:16:57,000 It's just sad. 394 00:16:58,275 --> 00:17:01,896 More than anything, I am grateful right now 395 00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,655 for where I'm at 396 00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:07,275 that I have love and devotion 397 00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:08,620 with a portion of my family 398 00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:10,931 and I hope that I can get more of that 399 00:17:12,172 --> 00:17:15,724 from more of my family as we move on. 400 00:17:17,965 --> 00:17:21,758 I just finally went why am I trying here? 401 00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:23,275 Everybody was trying to deflect 402 00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:25,000 but it just kept spiraling. 403 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,172 And it was done. 404 00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,275 With some of the things that were said and expressed, 405 00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:31,172 I don't know if we ever come back. 406 00:17:31,172 --> 00:17:32,517 I don't think Robyn's ever lived 407 00:17:32,517 --> 00:17:35,172 a plural marriage honestly. 408 00:17:45,137 --> 00:17:46,517 We just had Thanksgiving yesterday 409 00:17:46,517 --> 00:17:50,724 at Aspyn and Mitch's house and it was lovely. 410 00:17:50,724 --> 00:17:54,724 So last year was more impactful for me 411 00:17:54,724 --> 00:17:56,103 when we did Thanksgiving separate 412 00:17:56,103 --> 00:17:57,655 because I was choosing to just leave 413 00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,551 even though I'm still living in Flagstaff. 414 00:17:59,551 --> 00:18:02,758 But this year is probably more impactful for Janelle 415 00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:04,689 because I think things... 416 00:18:04,689 --> 00:18:06,931 Well, things are just more strained between her and Kody 417 00:18:06,931 --> 00:18:08,448 and everybody in Flagstaff 418 00:18:08,448 --> 00:18:10,068 but this year, like... 419 00:18:11,517 --> 00:18:12,517 we're just easygoing. 420 00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:17,448 Paedon came into town for Thanksgiving 421 00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:20,000 and his favorite meal is mock tapioca pudding, 422 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,655 so we're going to make that together. 423 00:18:21,655 --> 00:18:23,620 I'm gonna make him make it with me. 424 00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:24,896 So separating an egg, 425 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,137 you just carefully break it in half. 426 00:18:26,137 --> 00:18:28,034 You don't wanna get any of the yolk 427 00:18:28,034 --> 00:18:30,172 in with the white, otherwise it won't mix. 428 00:18:30,172 --> 00:18:31,758 Mock tapioca pudding was a recipe 429 00:18:31,758 --> 00:18:34,344 that I believe my grandmother gave my mom 430 00:18:34,344 --> 00:18:37,517 and it became a comfort food for all of us kids. 431 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,344 So I do have to... How are you... 432 00:18:41,344 --> 00:18:44,413 How are you feeling about me living here and stuff 433 00:18:44,413 --> 00:18:45,896 and about divorce and everything? 434 00:18:45,896 --> 00:18:47,241 Mom, I'm so happy you live here. 435 00:18:47,241 --> 00:18:49,758 No, I love it. Paedon, you're so happy here. 436 00:18:49,758 --> 00:18:51,517 I never moved to Flagstaff. 437 00:18:51,517 --> 00:18:53,241 I actually moved to St. George. 438 00:18:53,241 --> 00:18:54,413 I started working in St. George 439 00:18:54,413 --> 00:18:55,827 and then I joined the military. 440 00:18:55,827 --> 00:18:58,344 I believe I was at basic training 441 00:18:58,344 --> 00:19:01,448 when everybody moved to Flagstaff. 442 00:19:01,448 --> 00:19:03,931 Paedon's my only son, like, biologically 443 00:19:03,931 --> 00:19:05,206 and he's right smack dab 444 00:19:05,206 --> 00:19:06,793 in the middle of all these girls. 445 00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:09,827 Um, and he's actually doing really well in life right now. 446 00:19:09,827 --> 00:19:12,000 He lives in St. George, Utah. It's about four hours away. 447 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,068 There's always a lot to catch up on. 448 00:19:14,068 --> 00:19:16,172 There's a lot... Always a lot to talk about. 449 00:19:16,172 --> 00:19:17,172 And he's a talker. 450 00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:19,034 He just loves to sit and have conversations. 451 00:19:23,758 --> 00:19:27,000 So, yeah, it was just, it was time to leave 452 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,103 and it was only, like... Yeah. 453 00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:31,413 And I told him I couldn't be, yeah, 454 00:19:31,413 --> 00:19:33,310 and, like, I just wanna be friends. 455 00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:34,344 I just wanna be friends with you. 456 00:19:34,344 --> 00:19:36,137 I think we're better friends than anything else 457 00:19:36,137 --> 00:19:37,586 and I just wanna be friends. 458 00:19:37,586 --> 00:19:39,896 And his relationship with you kids, 459 00:19:39,896 --> 00:19:42,517 I always hope it gets better. 460 00:19:42,517 --> 00:19:43,931 Like, what do you think about that? 461 00:19:48,206 --> 00:19:50,068 Sorry. I didn't... Yeah. 462 00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:51,379 - It's-- - I know. 463 00:19:51,379 --> 00:19:52,896 No, Mom, it's okay. 464 00:19:52,896 --> 00:19:55,413 And it's meant a lot to me to hear Mom open about this. 465 00:19:55,413 --> 00:19:57,689 Not just talk about it, but talk with me about it 466 00:19:57,689 --> 00:20:00,344 knowing that she trusts me with this information. 467 00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:01,965 So Dad's had COVID now. 468 00:20:01,965 --> 00:20:04,379 Robyn's had COVID. They've all had COVID now. 469 00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:06,034 They got very, very, very sick, 470 00:20:06,034 --> 00:20:07,241 sicker than most people get. So-- 471 00:20:07,241 --> 00:20:09,068 It's because their immune systems are terrible. 472 00:20:09,068 --> 00:20:10,724 - Stop it. - Okay. Okay. 473 00:20:10,724 --> 00:20:12,206 All right. Stop it. 474 00:20:12,206 --> 00:20:15,206 His sarcasm is not helping his anger. 475 00:20:15,206 --> 00:20:17,172 He's just been sarcastic 476 00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:18,551 and I don't want him to be rude. 477 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,620 Him just saying, yeah, and they lived, 478 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,620 that's not fair. 479 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,034 Dad didn't really like what I was choosing 480 00:20:24,034 --> 00:20:26,379 but I had... 481 00:20:26,379 --> 00:20:29,758 I make the choices that I make because I-- 482 00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:33,206 My mom's kids and Janelle's kids 483 00:20:33,206 --> 00:20:34,896 have chosen a side. 484 00:20:34,896 --> 00:20:37,172 To the best of my knowledge, all of us chose my mom. 485 00:20:37,172 --> 00:20:41,310 Okay. Dad and choosing Robyn's family for Christmas 486 00:20:41,310 --> 00:20:44,206 because we want to do a Zoom call. 487 00:20:44,206 --> 00:20:47,241 That whole thing got blown up out of perspective completely, 488 00:20:47,241 --> 00:20:49,344 and I'm hoping that that one can get fixed. 489 00:20:51,241 --> 00:20:53,000 A few weeks ago, Logan texted 490 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,931 a group chat of the siblings 491 00:20:54,931 --> 00:20:57,137 that he wants to do a sibling gift exchange. 492 00:20:57,137 --> 00:20:58,517 And somebody said, okay, 493 00:20:58,517 --> 00:21:00,068 let's tell all the parents about this. 494 00:21:00,068 --> 00:21:02,620 And Robyn gets involved in the conversation 495 00:21:02,620 --> 00:21:04,206 and says let's do a video chat. 496 00:21:05,275 --> 00:21:06,310 It's hard for the kids 497 00:21:06,310 --> 00:21:08,586 to just jump on a call at the drop of a hat. 498 00:21:08,586 --> 00:21:09,758 They're not opposed to it. 499 00:21:09,758 --> 00:21:11,241 They just wanna have it scheduled. 500 00:21:11,241 --> 00:21:12,448 They were amiable. 501 00:21:12,448 --> 00:21:13,827 They just didn't see 502 00:21:13,827 --> 00:21:15,551 how they could make it really work. 503 00:21:15,551 --> 00:21:19,793 I was pushing for the video chat 504 00:21:19,793 --> 00:21:21,586 for the sake of the kids. 505 00:21:21,586 --> 00:21:23,517 When I was getting all this pushback, 506 00:21:23,517 --> 00:21:25,413 I just finally went, 507 00:21:25,413 --> 00:21:27,482 "Why am I trying here?" 508 00:21:27,482 --> 00:21:29,965 And I was like, "Fine, I'm out." 509 00:21:29,965 --> 00:21:32,000 You know, this is an effort in futility. 510 00:21:34,758 --> 00:21:35,965 So we're even at one point, 511 00:21:35,965 --> 00:21:37,344 she said my kids don't even remember 512 00:21:37,344 --> 00:21:38,862 who their siblings are. 513 00:21:38,862 --> 00:21:40,551 And Hunter was like, one video call 514 00:21:40,551 --> 00:21:42,068 is not gonna help that. 515 00:21:44,275 --> 00:21:46,379 And it got blown out of proportion 516 00:21:46,379 --> 00:21:50,068 that they didn't wanna hang out 517 00:21:50,068 --> 00:21:52,137 and then suddenly no one wanted to hang out 518 00:21:52,137 --> 00:21:53,241 and then all of these hurt feelings 519 00:21:53,241 --> 00:21:55,551 about when Robyn first came into the family 520 00:21:55,551 --> 00:21:59,482 and came out and, it's like oh, my gosh. 521 00:21:59,482 --> 00:22:01,482 Then it just turned into this whole big, 522 00:22:01,482 --> 00:22:05,137 like, kind of squabble 523 00:22:05,137 --> 00:22:07,586 between my kids 524 00:22:07,586 --> 00:22:10,724 and a bunch of the other kids. 525 00:22:10,724 --> 00:22:14,586 It really just got blown out of proportion I think. 526 00:22:17,793 --> 00:22:20,448 Everyone's emotions just ran super high. 527 00:22:20,448 --> 00:22:22,000 Gwendlyn tried to lighten it all up 528 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,896 and that went really bad. 529 00:22:23,896 --> 00:22:25,551 Everybody was trying to deflect 530 00:22:25,551 --> 00:22:27,241 but it just kept spiraling. 531 00:22:28,275 --> 00:22:29,448 And it was done. 532 00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:31,448 With some of the things that were said and expressed, 533 00:22:31,448 --> 00:22:34,000 I don't know if we ever come back from it. 534 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,965 So when this text thread was going on, 535 00:22:35,965 --> 00:22:37,310 I was just ignoring it. 536 00:22:37,310 --> 00:22:39,379 I wasn't gonna pick sides one way or the other. 537 00:22:39,379 --> 00:22:41,034 Janelle and Christine's kids have already chosen 538 00:22:41,034 --> 00:22:42,206 Janelle and Christine. 539 00:22:42,206 --> 00:22:44,275 I always wanted to have the family 540 00:22:44,275 --> 00:22:45,448 have Christmas together. 541 00:22:46,862 --> 00:22:48,689 It was a horrible day. 542 00:22:50,965 --> 00:22:53,206 I think Robyn jumped to conclusions too fast. 543 00:22:54,586 --> 00:22:56,379 It's just another example 544 00:22:56,379 --> 00:22:59,620 of them not wanting to be a family with us. 545 00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:01,689 It's been like this from the beginning. 546 00:23:04,172 --> 00:23:06,586 By the time the whole thing was over with, 547 00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:09,482 my older kids Dayton, Aurora, and Breanna, 548 00:23:09,482 --> 00:23:10,965 did not feel comfortable 549 00:23:10,965 --> 00:23:13,172 being involved in the gift exchange anymore. 550 00:23:13,172 --> 00:23:14,620 My children came away saying, 551 00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:16,103 "Look, what the heck happened?" 552 00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:17,965 When we first went public, 553 00:23:17,965 --> 00:23:19,275 the purpose of going public 554 00:23:19,275 --> 00:23:22,241 was to say polygamy works. 555 00:23:22,241 --> 00:23:24,275 I don't think it works in my family anymore. 556 00:23:25,758 --> 00:23:28,655 My kids and I think it's heartbreaking and stupid 557 00:23:28,655 --> 00:23:30,758 because we don't understand. 558 00:23:34,517 --> 00:23:38,827 And here it is just another reaffirmation of everything, 559 00:23:38,827 --> 00:23:41,862 all the messages we're getting 560 00:23:41,862 --> 00:23:45,310 that we're the outsiders and we're on the other side. 561 00:23:46,448 --> 00:23:47,724 We're not. 562 00:23:47,724 --> 00:23:48,827 We refuse to be. 563 00:23:48,827 --> 00:23:50,896 We don't know what else to do. 564 00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:54,172 I know that you kids have really struggled 565 00:23:54,172 --> 00:23:55,137 with his choices. 566 00:23:55,137 --> 00:23:56,448 It's very frustrating. 567 00:23:56,448 --> 00:23:57,413 I know. 568 00:23:57,413 --> 00:23:58,551 I'm trying to, like, make it 569 00:23:58,551 --> 00:24:00,482 so he can have a relationship with his dad. 570 00:24:01,620 --> 00:24:03,896 But his dad has picked sides. 571 00:24:03,896 --> 00:24:06,172 His dad is doing Christmas with Robyn and her kids 572 00:24:06,172 --> 00:24:07,206 and Meri. 573 00:24:07,206 --> 00:24:09,034 But he's picked sides. 574 00:24:09,034 --> 00:24:10,448 In front of Paedon, I'm gonna say I think 575 00:24:10,448 --> 00:24:11,413 we can work all this out. 576 00:24:11,413 --> 00:24:13,103 I think everything's going to be fine. 577 00:24:13,103 --> 00:24:14,379 Is it going to be? 578 00:24:14,379 --> 00:24:15,206 No. 579 00:24:21,172 --> 00:24:21,827 Yeah. 580 00:24:22,517 --> 00:24:23,448 Yeah. 581 00:24:31,206 --> 00:24:32,620 Yeah, good. 582 00:24:32,620 --> 00:24:33,655 Good. 583 00:24:33,655 --> 00:24:36,310 It's really important for wives and mothers 584 00:24:36,310 --> 00:24:40,275 to help those relationships 585 00:24:40,275 --> 00:24:42,413 that the dad has with his children 586 00:24:42,413 --> 00:24:44,931 because he's not there all the time. 587 00:24:44,931 --> 00:24:47,862 It is my responsibility to be a mom 588 00:24:47,862 --> 00:24:50,103 and to be a mother and it's my favorite thing 589 00:24:50,103 --> 00:24:52,068 that I do in this life. 590 00:24:52,068 --> 00:24:53,896 It's his responsibility 591 00:24:53,896 --> 00:24:55,793 to create a good relationship with his children 592 00:24:55,793 --> 00:24:57,758 and it always has been. 593 00:24:57,758 --> 00:25:00,103 You have an amazing friend 594 00:25:00,103 --> 00:25:01,310 and... 595 00:25:03,103 --> 00:25:03,965 it's not like where you are. 596 00:25:03,965 --> 00:25:05,517 Thank you. 597 00:25:05,517 --> 00:25:07,241 I love it. 598 00:25:07,241 --> 00:25:11,758 Once again, I feel like our family is just dividing. 599 00:25:11,758 --> 00:25:15,275 I think we're looking at a permanent separation. 600 00:25:15,275 --> 00:25:16,448 All right. Thank you. 601 00:25:16,448 --> 00:25:17,482 Hey, when are you moving up here 602 00:25:17,482 --> 00:25:18,379 since we're up here now? 603 00:25:18,379 --> 00:25:19,344 - A while. - Yeah? 604 00:25:19,344 --> 00:25:20,137 It'll be... It'll be a minute. 605 00:25:20,137 --> 00:25:21,241 I know you have your commitments. 606 00:25:21,241 --> 00:25:22,448 - It's fine. - Yeah, a few commitments. 607 00:25:22,448 --> 00:25:23,413 It's always nice to see you. 608 00:25:26,965 --> 00:25:28,413 I don't think Robyn's ever lived 609 00:25:28,413 --> 00:25:30,689 plural marriage honestly. 610 00:25:31,655 --> 00:25:32,896 Because as soon as... 611 00:25:32,896 --> 00:25:34,034 as soon as she came to the family, 612 00:25:34,034 --> 00:25:36,241 even before they got married... 613 00:25:36,241 --> 00:25:37,758 I just don't wanna go down that route. 614 00:25:37,758 --> 00:25:42,206 It just doesn't help with anything. 615 00:25:42,206 --> 00:25:44,034 I left Kody 616 00:25:44,034 --> 00:25:46,344 because I could see he had favorites. 617 00:25:46,344 --> 00:25:49,931 Well, when you have a wife that's a favorite, 618 00:25:49,931 --> 00:25:51,724 your other kids are gonna see 619 00:25:51,724 --> 00:25:53,827 and they're gonna have a hard time with that. 620 00:25:53,827 --> 00:25:55,965 It doesn't mean that they don't accept her 621 00:25:55,965 --> 00:25:58,448 but they don't accept as much as Kody did then I guess. 622 00:25:58,448 --> 00:26:00,310 Just... God. 623 00:26:04,517 --> 00:26:06,413 You're gonna go in and get your ears pierced. 624 00:26:06,413 --> 00:26:07,655 How are you feeling right now? 625 00:26:07,655 --> 00:26:10,275 I'm feeling very anxious. 626 00:26:10,275 --> 00:26:11,896 I kind of have a confession to make, 627 00:26:11,896 --> 00:26:13,137 is, I went and got my ear pierced 628 00:26:13,137 --> 00:26:14,517 when I was a sophomore in high school. 629 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:15,896 What? 630 00:26:25,275 --> 00:26:26,896 We're fumbling through the holidays. 631 00:26:26,896 --> 00:26:28,448 And it's been really sad 632 00:26:28,448 --> 00:26:30,517 because we didn't all gather for Thanksgiving. 633 00:26:30,517 --> 00:26:31,965 It seems like 634 00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:35,034 there's this lack of real desire to get together. 635 00:26:35,034 --> 00:26:36,206 But right now, I'm excited 636 00:26:36,206 --> 00:26:37,724 about my experience with Aurora 637 00:26:37,724 --> 00:26:39,965 and I'm looking forward to that. 638 00:26:39,965 --> 00:26:41,896 - Aurora, you're gonna go in... - Yes. 639 00:26:41,896 --> 00:26:43,068 and get your pierced. 640 00:26:43,068 --> 00:26:44,379 How are you feeling right now? 641 00:26:44,379 --> 00:26:47,068 I'm feeling very anxious, 642 00:26:47,068 --> 00:26:50,482 butterflies in my stomach but I'm very excited. 643 00:26:50,482 --> 00:26:53,241 I used to have an unfavorable opinion about ear piercing. 644 00:26:53,241 --> 00:26:55,379 The original paradigm that we were coming from 645 00:26:55,379 --> 00:26:57,103 and our family agreement was 646 00:26:57,103 --> 00:26:58,344 that we wouldn't have piercings. 647 00:27:02,965 --> 00:27:05,620 When I first married Meri, she didn't have pierced ears. 648 00:27:06,517 --> 00:27:08,965 And her mother and I chatted about it 649 00:27:08,965 --> 00:27:10,275 and Meri's mom was like... 650 00:27:10,275 --> 00:27:14,034 Grandma Bonnie, was like piercing ears is against, 651 00:27:14,034 --> 00:27:15,413 you know, the gospel, 652 00:27:15,413 --> 00:27:16,586 the word of the gospel, like, 653 00:27:16,586 --> 00:27:17,862 you're not supposed to pierce ears. 654 00:27:17,862 --> 00:27:20,137 I know that in the church that I grew up in, 655 00:27:20,137 --> 00:27:23,068 that was, like, a big thing. 656 00:27:23,068 --> 00:27:24,448 You just don't pierce your ears. 657 00:27:24,448 --> 00:27:26,793 If God had wanted holes in your ears, 658 00:27:26,793 --> 00:27:28,793 He would've put them there Himself, 659 00:27:29,413 --> 00:27:30,379 you know? 660 00:27:33,448 --> 00:27:34,931 Jill's coming into the family, hey, 661 00:27:34,931 --> 00:27:36,896 you know, we're not gonna have pierced ears 662 00:27:36,896 --> 00:27:39,172 because our church leaders don't like it, you know. 663 00:27:41,068 --> 00:27:42,896 I even took my earrings out 664 00:27:42,896 --> 00:27:44,448 and I know it seems like a silly thing 665 00:27:44,448 --> 00:27:46,586 but you know what, when you're trying to live... 666 00:27:47,586 --> 00:27:50,000 righteously and have a faith 667 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,344 and you wanna embrace your faith, 668 00:27:52,344 --> 00:27:54,310 there are little things like that. 669 00:27:54,310 --> 00:27:56,793 When I met Christine, she had two piercings 670 00:27:56,793 --> 00:28:00,034 and I'm kind of weird about... 671 00:28:00,034 --> 00:28:01,862 Squeamish about piercings in a way, 672 00:28:01,862 --> 00:28:04,413 so, like, two piercings was like, oh, too much. 673 00:28:04,413 --> 00:28:06,172 He told me how he hated earrings 674 00:28:06,172 --> 00:28:07,896 and I had two on each ear, 675 00:28:07,896 --> 00:28:10,724 so I stopped wearing earrings forever ago. 676 00:28:12,482 --> 00:28:13,793 I wanna do my family right, 677 00:28:13,793 --> 00:28:15,172 you know, we're gonna "play by the rules" 678 00:28:15,172 --> 00:28:16,000 type of thing. 679 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,482 And then Robyn comes to the family 680 00:28:17,482 --> 00:28:18,689 and Robyn's got piercings 681 00:28:18,689 --> 00:28:20,172 and her dad took her to get 'em. 682 00:28:23,655 --> 00:28:26,275 He told me that his other wives 683 00:28:26,275 --> 00:28:28,482 had given up their earrings. 684 00:28:28,482 --> 00:28:30,137 And it was right around Christmas 685 00:28:30,137 --> 00:28:32,758 and I found out what a grump he was through Christmas, 686 00:28:32,758 --> 00:28:34,655 and he hated the commercialism 687 00:28:34,655 --> 00:28:35,827 surrounding Christmas. 688 00:28:35,827 --> 00:28:37,931 And it was always like this pressure 689 00:28:37,931 --> 00:28:40,551 to make sure that everybody got something special. 690 00:28:40,551 --> 00:28:42,448 And so I made him a deal. 691 00:28:42,448 --> 00:28:44,586 I will take out my earrings 692 00:28:44,586 --> 00:28:46,793 and I'll never wear them again 693 00:28:46,793 --> 00:28:49,620 if you'll be happy and jolly, 694 00:28:49,620 --> 00:28:53,172 you know, it's from Thanksgiving until New Year's. 695 00:28:53,172 --> 00:28:55,103 My attitude gradually changed about it. 696 00:28:55,103 --> 00:28:56,931 Robyn started the... 697 00:28:56,931 --> 00:28:58,344 My sister wives' closet 698 00:28:58,344 --> 00:28:59,655 and I went, "Hey, this whole earring thing 699 00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:00,862 has gotten stupid." 700 00:29:00,862 --> 00:29:03,689 So I'm okay with, you know, 701 00:29:03,689 --> 00:29:05,448 like I don't want a whole bunch of piercings, 702 00:29:05,448 --> 00:29:06,793 but with piercings. 703 00:29:06,793 --> 00:29:07,862 Kody got over it 704 00:29:07,862 --> 00:29:09,758 'cause I mean, I'm obviously wearing them. 705 00:29:09,758 --> 00:29:12,620 I don't know what changed for him. 706 00:29:12,620 --> 00:29:14,310 I just decided I really liked them 707 00:29:14,310 --> 00:29:15,482 and I was gonna put them back in. 708 00:29:16,586 --> 00:29:18,379 And I was over 18, 709 00:29:18,379 --> 00:29:20,034 so I wasn't breaking any rules. 710 00:29:20,034 --> 00:29:22,241 And, you know, Kody didn't really care, 711 00:29:22,241 --> 00:29:23,827 but he... We still kind of felt 712 00:29:23,827 --> 00:29:25,689 like we needed to enforce the same rules 713 00:29:25,689 --> 00:29:27,344 for the older kids as we did the younger kids 714 00:29:27,344 --> 00:29:28,827 so we kind of held to the 18. 715 00:29:28,827 --> 00:29:31,379 I still don't have pierced ears. 716 00:29:31,379 --> 00:29:33,827 That is purely just because of my skin, 717 00:29:33,827 --> 00:29:35,137 I'm allergic to all medals, 718 00:29:35,137 --> 00:29:37,172 so I'm just not gonna mess with it. 719 00:29:37,172 --> 00:29:39,379 This will be the first time 720 00:29:39,379 --> 00:29:41,965 I've ever gone with one of my daughters 721 00:29:41,965 --> 00:29:43,241 to get their ears pierced. 722 00:29:43,241 --> 00:29:44,724 For some reason it never occurred to me 723 00:29:44,724 --> 00:29:45,931 that my mom wanted to pierce... 724 00:29:45,931 --> 00:29:47,344 Get my ears pierced. 725 00:29:47,344 --> 00:29:49,896 I allowed myself to think about it for myself. 726 00:29:49,896 --> 00:29:51,758 And then me and Dad started talking about it 727 00:29:51,758 --> 00:29:54,206 and had this big huge conversation about it, 728 00:29:54,206 --> 00:29:56,000 and so now we are here. 729 00:29:56,724 --> 00:29:58,206 Woo-hoo. 730 00:29:58,206 --> 00:30:01,310 She was completely bought into what I was saying 731 00:30:01,310 --> 00:30:02,655 and she thought about it a lot 732 00:30:02,655 --> 00:30:03,931 and discussed it with me and her mom 733 00:30:03,931 --> 00:30:05,448 and said, "I wanna do it." 734 00:30:06,586 --> 00:30:08,034 It's kind of the benchmark 735 00:30:08,034 --> 00:30:10,965 'cause Aurora wasn't going to pierce her ears 736 00:30:10,965 --> 00:30:12,689 out of respect for me. 737 00:30:12,689 --> 00:30:15,862 And I didn't want my daughters having their ears pierced. 738 00:30:15,862 --> 00:30:19,310 And my value or my perspective on that 739 00:30:19,310 --> 00:30:20,793 has changed completely. 740 00:30:20,793 --> 00:30:23,793 And so now I'm going with Aurora, 741 00:30:23,793 --> 00:30:24,931 kind of like a... 742 00:30:24,931 --> 00:30:26,586 Sort of a... 743 00:30:26,586 --> 00:30:28,793 An experience, a daddy-daughter experience, 744 00:30:28,793 --> 00:30:31,586 and we're gonna go get her ears pierced. 745 00:30:32,448 --> 00:30:34,482 Because of the COVID restrictions, 746 00:30:34,482 --> 00:30:36,034 Robyn and I both can't go. 747 00:30:36,034 --> 00:30:37,344 They'll only allow me to... 748 00:30:37,344 --> 00:30:39,586 Or one of us to go, and Aurora picked me. 749 00:30:39,586 --> 00:30:41,655 And to be honest with you, maybe Robyn 750 00:30:41,655 --> 00:30:43,137 might have promoted this a little bit 751 00:30:43,137 --> 00:30:44,896 because she has this real great memory 752 00:30:44,896 --> 00:30:46,275 of her and her dad 753 00:30:46,275 --> 00:30:47,862 going and getting her ears pierced. 754 00:30:47,862 --> 00:30:48,896 You're getting nervous. 755 00:30:48,896 --> 00:30:49,965 I could tell you're all almost like shaky. 756 00:30:49,965 --> 00:30:50,965 I am very nervous. 757 00:30:50,965 --> 00:30:51,862 All right. Well, let's go do it. 758 00:30:51,862 --> 00:30:53,172 But I am all right with needles, 759 00:30:53,172 --> 00:30:54,620 so I think I'll be okay. 760 00:30:54,620 --> 00:30:55,551 It won't... It won't take long. 761 00:30:55,551 --> 00:30:56,931 - Let's go. - Okay. 762 00:30:56,931 --> 00:30:58,793 I'll be honest, I don't know 763 00:30:58,793 --> 00:31:00,655 when all my older daughters, 764 00:31:00,655 --> 00:31:02,068 when they got their ears pierced. 765 00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:03,517 I don't know if they did it, 766 00:31:03,517 --> 00:31:04,758 you know, while they're still home. 767 00:31:04,758 --> 00:31:06,275 I don't... I don't actually remember. 768 00:31:06,275 --> 00:31:08,172 I think all of our children, 769 00:31:08,172 --> 00:31:10,379 all of our girls waited until they were 18 770 00:31:10,379 --> 00:31:11,551 to pierce their ears. 771 00:31:13,103 --> 00:31:15,344 Kody had me on a video call, 772 00:31:15,344 --> 00:31:17,724 so I got to watch her grimace. 773 00:31:22,448 --> 00:31:25,758 I've had a deep appreciation for how much 774 00:31:25,758 --> 00:31:28,379 Aurora has respected my authority as the father 775 00:31:28,379 --> 00:31:29,344 and the head of our home. 776 00:31:32,517 --> 00:31:35,000 I just appreciate the respect she's given me on that level. 777 00:31:35,551 --> 00:31:36,620 Wow. 778 00:31:37,275 --> 00:31:38,931 Let me see. 779 00:31:39,551 --> 00:31:40,482 Wow. 780 00:31:40,482 --> 00:31:42,068 That is so cool. 781 00:31:44,241 --> 00:31:47,896 It was just really cute and fun and it was... 782 00:31:47,896 --> 00:31:50,689 And Kody being so sweet and positive about it, 783 00:31:50,689 --> 00:31:52,827 it would've been so fun to have him 784 00:31:52,827 --> 00:31:55,206 have this experience with each of his girls. 785 00:31:55,206 --> 00:31:56,862 I kind of have a confession to make, 786 00:31:56,862 --> 00:31:58,137 is, I went and got my ear pierced 787 00:31:58,137 --> 00:31:59,206 when I was a sophomore in high school. 788 00:31:59,206 --> 00:32:00,965 What? 789 00:32:00,965 --> 00:32:01,965 You did? 790 00:32:01,965 --> 00:32:03,034 Now you cut. 791 00:32:04,517 --> 00:32:05,310 What? 792 00:32:06,862 --> 00:32:08,931 You little hypocrite. 793 00:32:10,724 --> 00:32:11,965 So, yeah, I got my ear pierced 794 00:32:11,965 --> 00:32:13,379 when I was a sophomore in high school. 795 00:32:14,931 --> 00:32:16,896 Yeah. I knew Kody had a pierced ear. 796 00:32:16,896 --> 00:32:17,931 Like he was so... 797 00:32:17,931 --> 00:32:19,862 Like, he wanted to be the rock star. 798 00:32:19,862 --> 00:32:20,931 Kody was in this small town 799 00:32:20,931 --> 00:32:22,482 and he wanted to be the big town guy 800 00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:24,931 and I think he just was like... 801 00:32:24,931 --> 00:32:26,482 He was trying to be that guy. 802 00:32:26,482 --> 00:32:28,241 I remember Kody telling me 803 00:32:28,241 --> 00:32:29,793 that he got one of his ears pierced 804 00:32:29,793 --> 00:32:30,586 when he was in high school. 805 00:32:30,586 --> 00:32:32,275 I feel like I could be wrong, 806 00:32:32,275 --> 00:32:34,241 but I feel like it was like kind of a dare. 807 00:32:34,241 --> 00:32:37,034 My sister and I are at a jewelry store 808 00:32:37,034 --> 00:32:38,862 in a shopping mall 809 00:32:38,862 --> 00:32:41,655 and we're with one of her girlfriends or something. 810 00:32:41,655 --> 00:32:43,034 I'm like, "Dare me to do it." 811 00:32:43,034 --> 00:32:44,551 And my sister doesn't even say anything. 812 00:32:44,551 --> 00:32:45,620 And then I do it and I'm like, 813 00:32:45,620 --> 00:32:48,172 "Well, you dared me," you know? 814 00:32:48,172 --> 00:32:49,655 Got it on Saturday night. 815 00:32:49,655 --> 00:32:51,689 I did my best to hide it. 816 00:32:51,689 --> 00:32:53,172 Monday, I wore it to school, 817 00:32:53,172 --> 00:32:55,137 I had my heyday, took it out, 818 00:32:55,137 --> 00:32:56,758 made my mom cry. 819 00:32:58,551 --> 00:32:59,931 I had a lot of fun 820 00:32:59,931 --> 00:33:02,000 going with Aurora and getting her ears pierced. 821 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,448 It'll be a memory locked in forever, 822 00:33:04,448 --> 00:33:06,724 just like the memory of when I got my ear pierced 823 00:33:06,724 --> 00:33:09,413 and I'm glad I don't have a pierced ear anymore. 824 00:33:13,379 --> 00:33:14,965 I don't know what the future is 825 00:33:14,965 --> 00:33:16,000 for Kody and I. 826 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:20,344 He's getting... angrier and angrier 827 00:33:20,344 --> 00:33:21,793 and he's getting sharper and sharper, 828 00:33:21,793 --> 00:33:23,758 and more black and white with me. 829 00:33:23,758 --> 00:33:25,448 Gosh. I mean, her and Kody, 830 00:33:25,448 --> 00:33:27,310 I didn't think they were that bad. 831 00:33:36,620 --> 00:33:39,689 I go to Flagstaff every 10 to 14 days. 832 00:33:39,689 --> 00:33:41,793 It's just business related and then it's really nice 833 00:33:41,793 --> 00:33:44,000 'cause then I can see Janelle, and Savanah, 834 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,689 and Gwendlyn, Gabe and the boys and stuff, 835 00:33:45,689 --> 00:33:48,206 and it's awesome to see everybody. 836 00:33:48,206 --> 00:33:49,689 - Hey. - Oh, hey. 837 00:33:49,689 --> 00:33:52,172 So I just had to order this new Christmas tree 838 00:33:52,172 --> 00:33:53,103 'cause, well, the... 839 00:33:53,103 --> 00:33:55,103 Mine is way too big for this apartment. 840 00:33:55,103 --> 00:33:56,310 - You got a tree. - Yes. 841 00:33:56,310 --> 00:33:57,448 - Is it pre-lit and everything? - Yes. 842 00:33:57,448 --> 00:33:58,793 'Cause I've decided life... 843 00:33:58,793 --> 00:33:59,965 - Oh, my gosh. - is too short 844 00:33:59,965 --> 00:34:01,241 to wrap your own lights. 845 00:34:01,241 --> 00:34:02,275 I adore Janelle. 846 00:34:02,275 --> 00:34:04,862 I'm so glad that I have a friendship with her. 847 00:34:04,862 --> 00:34:07,413 Janelle and I got closer and closer... 848 00:34:08,724 --> 00:34:11,172 really a lot since we moved to Flagstaff. 849 00:34:12,068 --> 00:34:13,586 And with me leaving, 850 00:34:13,586 --> 00:34:15,172 she's just been so supportive. 851 00:34:15,172 --> 00:34:17,586 I've been there for her like she has been for me 852 00:34:17,586 --> 00:34:19,862 'cause she's been extremely 853 00:34:19,862 --> 00:34:21,172 supportive of me leaving. 854 00:34:21,172 --> 00:34:22,655 - It was fun. - So you had a fun Thanksgiving? 855 00:34:22,655 --> 00:34:23,620 - Yeah, it was fun. - And Ysabel, 856 00:34:23,620 --> 00:34:24,586 how's Ysabel doing? 857 00:34:24,586 --> 00:34:25,620 - Good. - Is she okay? 858 00:34:25,620 --> 00:34:26,793 - Yeah. She is. - Okay, good. 859 00:34:26,793 --> 00:34:28,724 She calls me like she misses me so bad sometimes-- 860 00:34:28,724 --> 00:34:31,241 I think she's... I think she's struggling 861 00:34:31,241 --> 00:34:32,758 that first semester in college. 862 00:34:32,758 --> 00:34:34,896 Even Logan who lived in Las Vegas 863 00:34:34,896 --> 00:34:36,620 was like, "I'm gonna drop out and come home, Mom." 864 00:34:36,620 --> 00:34:39,758 They all have that that first semester. 865 00:34:39,758 --> 00:34:40,827 There's some discussion about-- 866 00:34:40,827 --> 00:34:41,931 Are you talking about next year 867 00:34:41,931 --> 00:34:42,793 going to Maddie's again? 868 00:34:42,793 --> 00:34:43,655 See, I don't know. 869 00:34:45,551 --> 00:34:47,413 I know everything's really separate right now, 870 00:34:47,413 --> 00:34:49,310 but it can't stay that way, 871 00:34:49,310 --> 00:34:50,931 - right? - Yeah, I don't know. 872 00:34:50,931 --> 00:34:52,413 - Really? - I have no idea. 873 00:34:55,620 --> 00:34:56,655 Like, I just don't even know. 874 00:34:58,793 --> 00:35:01,034 So I just am taking it day by day. 875 00:35:02,551 --> 00:35:06,000 It's really just about, I need respect. 876 00:35:08,379 --> 00:35:09,517 Like Kody saying this? 877 00:35:09,517 --> 00:35:10,965 Yeah. 878 00:35:10,965 --> 00:35:13,172 You know, Kody always was a really engaged father. 879 00:35:13,172 --> 00:35:16,103 It's one of the things I admired the most about him. 880 00:35:17,206 --> 00:35:19,034 When COVID happened, 881 00:35:19,034 --> 00:35:20,862 the relationships with my children, 882 00:35:20,862 --> 00:35:24,310 my boys especially really broke down. 883 00:35:24,310 --> 00:35:26,068 And I think that kind of opened the door 884 00:35:26,068 --> 00:35:27,413 for some of the older complaints 885 00:35:27,413 --> 00:35:29,448 to start coming up again. 886 00:35:29,448 --> 00:35:31,103 I'm sort of stuck in the middle. 887 00:35:33,655 --> 00:35:37,034 My boys feel like there's been a definite favoritism 888 00:35:37,034 --> 00:35:40,206 and preference on time and energy 889 00:35:40,206 --> 00:35:42,000 poured into the different households. 890 00:35:43,827 --> 00:35:45,586 I'm really frustrated when people are talking 891 00:35:45,586 --> 00:35:47,275 like this happened the past 25 years. 892 00:35:47,275 --> 00:35:49,482 I've always wanted a relationship with my kids. 893 00:35:49,482 --> 00:35:51,310 As they grow older, these relationships, 894 00:35:51,310 --> 00:35:52,620 they go both ways. 895 00:35:52,620 --> 00:35:54,724 During COVID, things shifted. 896 00:35:54,724 --> 00:35:56,379 I made it empirically clear 897 00:35:56,379 --> 00:35:58,241 that I did not need the boys to apologize. 898 00:35:58,241 --> 00:36:01,724 I just need to communicate with them and talk 899 00:36:01,724 --> 00:36:03,448 and sort of clear the air of all these rumors 900 00:36:03,448 --> 00:36:04,448 going on in the family. 901 00:36:04,448 --> 00:36:06,793 I look at Kody and I think, 902 00:36:06,793 --> 00:36:09,896 "Come on, can you just have a little bit of compassion?" 903 00:36:09,896 --> 00:36:12,758 You know, don't draw such a hard line. 904 00:36:14,482 --> 00:36:15,896 So I'm not optimistic. 905 00:36:18,344 --> 00:36:19,517 Everything's still separate then. 906 00:36:19,517 --> 00:36:20,482 Mmm-hmm. 907 00:36:20,482 --> 00:36:21,689 And I think everyone... The kids 908 00:36:21,689 --> 00:36:23,000 are just kind of tired of pretending 909 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,689 that everything's okay. 910 00:36:24,689 --> 00:36:26,137 I don't think it's one-sided. 911 00:36:26,137 --> 00:36:27,758 - It's not one-sided. - There's no one bad guy here. 912 00:36:27,758 --> 00:36:29,413 - Nope. No. - I just think this maybe 913 00:36:29,413 --> 00:36:30,896 goes back to when we blended families. 914 00:36:30,896 --> 00:36:32,827 We somehow missed something. 915 00:36:32,827 --> 00:36:34,620 Blending a family is hard work 916 00:36:34,620 --> 00:36:36,448 and here we are, we have a plural family 917 00:36:36,448 --> 00:36:37,793 so it's even harder 918 00:36:37,793 --> 00:36:39,137 'cause of all the different dynamics. 919 00:36:42,137 --> 00:36:44,517 My children remember a lot of hurts. 920 00:36:45,655 --> 00:36:47,517 I know that they tried very hard 921 00:36:47,517 --> 00:36:48,931 to integrate everybody, 922 00:36:48,931 --> 00:36:51,448 but maybe there were always cracks. 923 00:36:59,344 --> 00:37:01,103 Now it's all blown apart. 924 00:37:03,448 --> 00:37:05,827 When a new wife joins the family, 925 00:37:05,827 --> 00:37:09,413 you go through this process of adjusting. 926 00:37:09,413 --> 00:37:11,137 There were some people that were willing 927 00:37:11,137 --> 00:37:13,655 to make the adjustments and were welcoming 928 00:37:13,655 --> 00:37:15,896 and then there was a lot that weren't. 929 00:37:16,931 --> 00:37:18,448 When Robyn came in, the family, 930 00:37:18,448 --> 00:37:20,310 the only people who welcomed her warmly 931 00:37:20,310 --> 00:37:22,137 was just me and Meri. 932 00:37:22,137 --> 00:37:23,862 Mykelti has been talking a lot 933 00:37:23,862 --> 00:37:26,206 to Robyn's kids and Robyn 934 00:37:26,206 --> 00:37:29,137 and they've just expressed a lot of frustration 935 00:37:29,137 --> 00:37:31,448 over when the family's blended, how they felt. 936 00:37:31,448 --> 00:37:34,344 It's all really unfortunately more messy than I thought. 937 00:37:35,137 --> 00:37:36,551 And it is really sad. 938 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,517 There's gotta be some sort of a joke 939 00:37:39,517 --> 00:37:40,620 about how many sister wives 940 00:37:40,620 --> 00:37:41,793 - Yeah. - does it take to assemble a tree. 941 00:37:41,793 --> 00:37:43,310 Could you see how there's that little notch? 942 00:37:43,310 --> 00:37:45,344 - Yeah. - And there's a little thing. 943 00:37:45,344 --> 00:37:46,172 - Ready? - Okay. 944 00:37:46,172 --> 00:37:46,931 Watch this magic. 945 00:37:48,103 --> 00:37:50,448 Oh. 946 00:37:50,448 --> 00:37:51,724 Here we go. Okay. 947 00:37:51,724 --> 00:37:52,965 - All right. - So it's harder to line up than you think. 948 00:37:52,965 --> 00:37:53,689 It's... It is. 949 00:37:53,689 --> 00:37:54,586 - Let's cut this off now. - Okay. 950 00:37:54,586 --> 00:37:55,620 - Where's your... - Here. 951 00:37:55,620 --> 00:37:56,862 It's very, very small. 952 00:37:56,862 --> 00:37:59,137 It's just a cute little tree. 953 00:37:59,137 --> 00:38:01,344 So let's see if the couch fits. 954 00:38:01,344 --> 00:38:02,655 Sure. 955 00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:04,379 Christmas trees are a fun thing. 956 00:38:04,379 --> 00:38:05,482 They're a happy thing 957 00:38:05,482 --> 00:38:07,137 and I get to change the color. 958 00:38:07,137 --> 00:38:08,896 Technology is a amazing thing. 959 00:38:08,896 --> 00:38:10,482 The tree is great there. I love it. 960 00:38:10,482 --> 00:38:11,689 And the dog beds can be-- 961 00:38:11,689 --> 00:38:13,344 The dog beds are there and they're cozy. 962 00:38:13,344 --> 00:38:15,068 - I don't know where the dog beds usually go. - Yeah. 963 00:38:15,068 --> 00:38:17,965 I don't either, but 'cause they usually sleep on the... 964 00:38:17,965 --> 00:38:21,000 They sit on the couch unless Kody's here. 965 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,379 We have kind of different rules when Kody's here. 966 00:38:23,379 --> 00:38:25,827 The dogs aren't on the couches. 967 00:38:25,827 --> 00:38:27,827 When Kody wasn't over, 968 00:38:27,827 --> 00:38:29,241 oh, we play, 969 00:38:29,241 --> 00:38:30,344 we play like crazy. 970 00:38:30,344 --> 00:38:31,413 We'd have popcorn for dinner 971 00:38:31,413 --> 00:38:33,310 sometimes for goodness sakes. 972 00:38:33,310 --> 00:38:34,689 There's so many things we always do different 973 00:38:34,689 --> 00:38:37,448 when Kody wasn't around versus when he was there. 974 00:38:37,448 --> 00:38:38,827 It was really funny. 975 00:38:38,827 --> 00:38:40,551 We go to bed later when he's not there. 976 00:38:42,275 --> 00:38:44,931 It's kind of a fun perk of polygamy. 977 00:38:44,931 --> 00:38:46,862 It was like either just the two of us 978 00:38:46,862 --> 00:38:47,862 or the three of us. 979 00:38:47,862 --> 00:38:49,206 We would just go to a movie 980 00:38:49,206 --> 00:38:50,586 or go to dinner or something, 981 00:38:50,586 --> 00:38:53,586 you know, just make it pretty simple and basic. 982 00:38:53,586 --> 00:38:54,620 I do wanna ask, and I don't know 983 00:38:54,620 --> 00:38:56,206 if it's too personal or anything like that, 984 00:38:56,206 --> 00:38:57,344 but... 985 00:38:59,103 --> 00:39:00,137 you and Kody are fine then? 986 00:39:00,137 --> 00:39:01,137 You and Kody are good 987 00:39:01,137 --> 00:39:02,137 as far as your relationship goes 'cause-- 988 00:39:02,137 --> 00:39:04,379 No, we're... We have to... 989 00:39:04,379 --> 00:39:06,034 I think what's happened is the kids, 990 00:39:06,034 --> 00:39:08,068 like when everybody moved out, 991 00:39:08,068 --> 00:39:09,724 I think it was just kind of one of those things 992 00:39:09,724 --> 00:39:10,724 where all of a sudden, we're like, 993 00:39:10,724 --> 00:39:12,586 oh, I don't know. 994 00:39:12,586 --> 00:39:14,344 How do we do this, just the two of us? 995 00:39:15,103 --> 00:39:16,275 I don't know what to do. 996 00:39:16,275 --> 00:39:18,448 We're both sort of like, okay, did we... 997 00:39:18,448 --> 00:39:20,413 Do we keep working for this? Do we... 998 00:39:20,413 --> 00:39:22,896 What... Keep working with this, what do you mean? 999 00:39:22,896 --> 00:39:25,103 Like, I don't know. Like, I mean, I don't know. 1000 00:39:25,103 --> 00:39:26,586 He seems so set 1001 00:39:26,586 --> 00:39:28,724 about the kids respecting him 1002 00:39:28,724 --> 00:39:31,172 and my kids are like, "What?" 1003 00:39:31,172 --> 00:39:33,068 I'm not gonna sit here and try to put together 1004 00:39:33,068 --> 00:39:35,965 this relationship post children leaving 1005 00:39:35,965 --> 00:39:37,517 when there's not a whole lot in common. 1006 00:39:37,517 --> 00:39:39,896 I don't even know who this guy is anymore. 1007 00:39:39,896 --> 00:39:42,448 Like I just don't see that it's really worth the work. 1008 00:39:42,448 --> 00:39:43,551 Everybody's angry. 1009 00:39:44,275 --> 00:39:46,034 Everybody's angry, right? 1010 00:39:46,034 --> 00:39:47,517 Even in troubled times, 1011 00:39:47,517 --> 00:39:49,275 we still were able to get together and put distance... 1012 00:39:49,275 --> 00:39:50,931 Like differences aside and we're putting aside-- 1013 00:39:50,931 --> 00:39:53,241 And now they're on this big... They're beating this big drum. 1014 00:39:53,241 --> 00:39:54,827 We can no longer sweep it under the rug. 1015 00:39:54,827 --> 00:39:55,965 I'm like, okay. 1016 00:39:56,827 --> 00:39:58,103 Now that Robyn and Kody and the kids 1017 00:39:58,103 --> 00:39:59,482 have all had COVID, 1018 00:39:59,482 --> 00:40:01,448 and there's no longer this need to separate 1019 00:40:01,448 --> 00:40:03,034 for fear of the disease. 1020 00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:05,344 We can't get together until we sort this all out. 1021 00:40:06,206 --> 00:40:08,034 Now, that's their new drum. 1022 00:40:08,034 --> 00:40:11,103 It's the new excuse to keep everybody apart. 1023 00:40:11,103 --> 00:40:12,862 So there's a lot of moving pieces 1024 00:40:12,862 --> 00:40:14,551 and there's a lot. 1025 00:40:14,551 --> 00:40:16,896 And I'm worried that we're not gonna do the work 1026 00:40:16,896 --> 00:40:18,413 because everybody's so angry. 1027 00:40:18,413 --> 00:40:21,482 - Kody is so angry about this. - Yeah. 1028 00:40:21,482 --> 00:40:25,689 He's getting... angrier and angrier 1029 00:40:25,689 --> 00:40:27,172 and he is getting sharper and sharper 1030 00:40:27,172 --> 00:40:29,344 and more black and white with me 1031 00:40:29,344 --> 00:40:31,241 about these kids need to respect me. 1032 00:40:31,241 --> 00:40:32,862 Ew, really? 1033 00:40:32,862 --> 00:40:34,172 It was just getting harder. 1034 00:40:34,172 --> 00:40:36,413 It's just... It's just getting so hard, 1035 00:40:36,413 --> 00:40:38,448 like it's getting really complicated. 1036 00:40:38,448 --> 00:40:40,586 - Ah, Janelle. - So I don't know. 1037 00:40:40,586 --> 00:40:42,517 Like, I mean we're not... We're not getting divorced. 1038 00:40:42,517 --> 00:40:43,517 We're not walking away. 1039 00:40:43,517 --> 00:40:45,448 But it's like I don't know what to do. 1040 00:40:46,965 --> 00:40:48,275 So I don't know. 1041 00:40:50,275 --> 00:40:51,344 I'm so sorry. 1042 00:40:53,551 --> 00:40:54,793 You know, it's interesting 1043 00:40:54,793 --> 00:40:56,655 'cause there is a lot of... 1044 00:40:57,965 --> 00:41:01,275 unsettledness in the rest of my life. 1045 00:41:01,275 --> 00:41:03,931 But, you know, with my children and with Christine, 1046 00:41:03,931 --> 00:41:05,931 it seems to all be kind of normal. 1047 00:41:05,931 --> 00:41:08,586 It's like... It's like stable. 1048 00:41:08,586 --> 00:41:09,896 It's how it always was. 1049 00:41:09,896 --> 00:41:11,517 - We'll see you later. - All right. See ya. 1050 00:41:13,551 --> 00:41:15,206 It's heavy. It feels really, really heavy. 1051 00:41:15,206 --> 00:41:16,551 It's super great to see her. 1052 00:41:18,965 --> 00:41:21,724 And her and Kody, I didn't think they were that bad. 1053 00:41:21,724 --> 00:41:22,965 Gosh, 1054 00:41:23,827 --> 00:41:25,379 things are pretty rough right now. 1055 00:41:27,620 --> 00:41:29,172 With Kody at odds with my children 1056 00:41:29,172 --> 00:41:31,586 and Kody and I at odds in our relationship, 1057 00:41:31,586 --> 00:41:33,000 really kind of gave me a time 1058 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,827 to kind of reflect on what I needed 1059 00:41:34,827 --> 00:41:36,931 in my relationship going forward with Kody. 1060 00:41:36,931 --> 00:41:39,103 Kody and I weren't in that great a place 1061 00:41:39,103 --> 00:41:41,137 going into this situation. 1062 00:41:41,137 --> 00:41:43,206 And I don't know what the future is 1063 00:41:43,206 --> 00:41:46,103 for Kody and I really going forward. 1064 00:41:46,103 --> 00:41:47,689 Can it be saved? I have no idea. 1065 00:41:53,137 --> 00:41:55,137 Next time on Sister Wives... 1066 00:41:55,137 --> 00:41:56,793 You have cheated me 1067 00:41:56,793 --> 00:41:58,655 out of my contact with my family. 1068 00:41:58,655 --> 00:42:00,172 Kody, in the very beginning, I kept-- 1069 00:42:00,172 --> 00:42:02,413 No, no. No, you make this excuse forever. 1070 00:42:02,413 --> 00:42:04,448 - But I've-- - Shut your [bleep] mouth 1071 00:42:04,448 --> 00:42:05,793 and let me talk to you for a minute. 1072 00:42:05,793 --> 00:42:07,379 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1073 00:42:07,379 --> 00:42:08,758 You won't... You keep cutting me off. 1074 00:42:08,758 --> 00:42:09,827 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1075 00:42:09,827 --> 00:42:11,517 I don't expect you 1076 00:42:11,517 --> 00:42:14,655 to try and help us co-parent the kids. 1077 00:42:14,655 --> 00:42:16,310 Don't you dare point your finger at me. 1078 00:42:16,310 --> 00:42:19,310 I've been here day long, 1079 00:42:19,310 --> 00:42:22,551 in and out for all these years without your support. 1080 00:42:22,551 --> 00:42:25,482 - No. You stay and talk. - No, I'm done listening to you. 1081 00:42:25,482 --> 00:42:27,068 You stay and talk. 1082 00:42:27,068 --> 00:42:29,137 No, I'm not going to 1083 00:42:29,137 --> 00:42:30,724 because you're not listening. 1084 00:42:30,724 --> 00:42:31,724 You're not listening to me. 1085 00:42:31,724 --> 00:42:33,137 And I'm not going to. 1086 00:42:33,137 --> 00:42:34,172 Okay. So we're done? - Goodbye. 1087 00:42:34,172 --> 00:42:35,724 you.