1
00:00:53,055 --> 00:00:54,388
Are you kidding me?

2
00:00:58,810 --> 00:01:00,353
Josh! Sorry I'm late.

3
00:01:00,437 --> 00:01:01,520
That's all right.

4
00:01:01,605 --> 00:01:03,314
Office holiday breakfast.

5
00:01:03,523 --> 00:01:05,293
You guys have parties
at 10:30 in the morning?

6
00:01:05,317 --> 00:01:06,317
Less liability.

7
00:01:06,652 --> 00:01:08,569
Apparently, people don't
get drunk before noon.

8
00:01:08,904 --> 00:01:10,321
It's boring as shit.

9
00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:13,449
- But the partners want us there, so...
- Sure.

10
00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:17,161
Anyways, after a year of negotiation,
your divorce is finalized.

11
00:01:17,412 --> 00:01:19,121
These are the terms we agreed to.

12
00:01:19,206 --> 00:01:22,750
The alimony, the house. Sorry.

13
00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:24,354
Don't worry about it. It's only money.

14
00:01:25,003 --> 00:01:26,504
It is only

15
00:01:27,673 --> 00:01:28,923
all of the money.

16
00:01:29,633 --> 00:01:31,425
But it's the season for giving, right?

17
00:01:31,802 --> 00:01:33,302
I know how you feel.

18
00:01:33,470 --> 00:01:35,304
Yeah? I didn't know you were divorced.

19
00:01:35,639 --> 00:01:37,098
God, no. That'd be crushing.

20
00:01:37,599 --> 00:01:38,683
But I get it.

21
00:01:39,059 --> 00:01:41,143
On one level, it must seem like,

22
00:01:41,228 --> 00:01:42,828
"I'm signing away
a huge chunk of my life

23
00:01:42,854 --> 00:01:44,272
"that I'm never getting back."

24
00:01:46,984 --> 00:01:48,192
That's it? No other level?

25
00:01:48,777 --> 00:01:50,528
No, that's it. lnitials.

26
00:01:51,738 --> 00:01:53,781
Hey. There are good things
ahead for you, okay?

27
00:01:53,949 --> 00:01:55,157
- Yeah.
- Come here.

28
00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:57,368
- Thank you. Thanks, buddy.
- Merry Christmas.

29
00:01:57,619 --> 00:01:59,662
- Hey, what's this?
- My final bill's in there.

30
00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:01,998
- Is it?
- Also my holiday card.

31
00:02:02,082 --> 00:02:03,393
The wife had me and the kids dress up

32
00:02:03,417 --> 00:02:05,334
like members of One Direction.
Pretty fun.

33
00:02:08,547 --> 00:02:09,630
Dynamite.

34
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:28,733
Yes, Mom, it is all done. I am divorced.

35
00:02:30,736 --> 00:02:32,236
Well, you should tell Dad

36
00:02:32,321 --> 00:02:34,655
that she is not coming over
for Christmas.

37
00:02:36,241 --> 00:02:38,576
Why? Because we're divorced, Mom!

38
00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:42,288
Well... Mom, don't worry about that.
I'm still gonna be fun.

39
00:02:42,372 --> 00:02:44,874
I'm still gonna be
fun Uncle Josh, you know?

40
00:02:46,126 --> 00:02:48,210
Yeah. Well, without doing that...

41
00:02:48,295 --> 00:02:50,546
No, you can leave
the Santa suit in the attic.

42
00:02:51,882 --> 00:02:53,174
Why? Because I'm an adult

43
00:02:53,258 --> 00:02:55,343
and dressing up as Santa Claus
would be embarrassing.

44
00:02:56,887 --> 00:03:00,139
Hi. Unless, you know,
you're doing it for charity.

45
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,434
Then it's... Then it's... Sorry.

46
00:03:03,685 --> 00:03:06,145
Tell Dad that I love... That's lucky.

47
00:03:06,646 --> 00:03:08,689
Just put me down for five bucks, okay?

48
00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:10,024
Hanging up, Mom.

49
00:03:36,385 --> 00:03:37,760
Hey, Carla, good morning.

50
00:03:37,844 --> 00:03:39,447
You see something over there?
What do you got?

51
00:03:39,471 --> 00:03:40,554
I think that Starbucks

52
00:03:40,639 --> 00:03:42,223
- attracts a bad element, Josh.
- Yeah.

53
00:03:42,307 --> 00:03:44,850
Listen. Give me the green light
and I'll shut it down.

54
00:03:45,143 --> 00:03:47,061
I love that initiative. It's awesome.

55
00:03:47,145 --> 00:03:48,938
Could you sign me in
real quick, please?

56
00:03:49,106 --> 00:03:50,750
I wish I could,
but they got us sending you

57
00:03:50,774 --> 00:03:52,274
through these machines now.

58
00:03:52,359 --> 00:03:54,819
Gonna replace my ass, matter of time.

59
00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:55,943
That's never gonna happen.

60
00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:57,707
These machines
don't have your smile, Carla.

61
00:03:57,864 --> 00:03:59,240
Make that money!

62
00:04:02,994 --> 00:04:04,829
Josh, we have a situation.

63
00:04:04,913 --> 00:04:07,164
Mary! How do you always just appear?

64
00:04:07,249 --> 00:04:08,707
You're like a human pop-up ad.

65
00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:11,168
Did you read my latest memo
on appropriate work dress?

66
00:04:11,670 --> 00:04:13,003
Almost done. Don't ruin the end.

67
00:04:13,088 --> 00:04:15,422
Well, some people didn't.
And those people are Meghan.

68
00:04:15,924 --> 00:04:17,341
Nobody listens to H.R.

69
00:04:17,926 --> 00:04:18,926
Hey, Meghan?

70
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,262
I thought that I have been clear about

71
00:04:21,388 --> 00:04:24,390
the number of buttons that
can be unbuttoned on a shirt.

72
00:04:24,599 --> 00:04:26,559
- You were serious about that?
- It's winter.

73
00:04:26,643 --> 00:04:29,520
Can we put Dancer and Prancer
back in their stable?

74
00:04:29,729 --> 00:04:31,313
Are you body-shaming her right now?

75
00:04:31,606 --> 00:04:33,065
Some people here

76
00:04:33,650 --> 00:04:36,610
might find your outfit offensive.

77
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:39,029
Well, some people might
find your outfit offensive.

78
00:04:39,364 --> 00:04:40,656
And really confusing.

79
00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:41,866
I thought it was clear.

80
00:04:41,950 --> 00:04:44,451
This is a multi-denominational
holiday sweater.

81
00:04:44,536 --> 00:04:45,870
It has Christmas,

82
00:04:46,037 --> 00:04:48,205
Hanukkah, kwanzaa,

83
00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:49,832
the Buddhist day of enlightenment,

84
00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:51,292
and Boxing Day on it.

85
00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:52,668
Everyone's included!

86
00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:54,628
Is everyone included?

87
00:04:54,713 --> 00:04:57,381
What about... What about the...
The Mormons?

88
00:04:57,632 --> 00:04:59,049
What about the Jews for Jesus?

89
00:04:59,134 --> 00:05:01,719
- What about Scientologists?
- Yeah. Mysticism.

90
00:05:01,803 --> 00:05:03,012
What about Shintoism?

91
00:05:03,096 --> 00:05:04,305
Satanism.

92
00:05:04,389 --> 00:05:05,431
Right.

93
00:05:05,515 --> 00:05:07,183
What about
something for the Satanists?

94
00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:09,977
Jeremy, come on. l...
l admire the stand that you're taking,

95
00:05:10,061 --> 00:05:13,022
but let's schedule the protest rally
for after the workday, shall we?

96
00:05:13,106 --> 00:05:14,648
And, Mary, let's let it slide.

97
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:15,900
Thank you.

98
00:05:16,109 --> 00:05:17,318
Good morning, everybody.

99
00:05:18,236 --> 00:05:20,154
You can't silence us all.

100
00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:22,948
I know why you took a medical leave.

101
00:05:24,159 --> 00:05:26,637
It's hard for me to bring her out in public
because she's so beautiful.

102
00:05:26,661 --> 00:05:27,661
Hey, guys.

103
00:05:27,746 --> 00:05:30,748
People put models
on this crazy pedestal...

104
00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:32,583
- Yep.
- But I think that's why, you know,

105
00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:33,667
Becca fell for me,

106
00:05:33,752 --> 00:05:36,170
because I just treat her
like a normal person.

107
00:05:36,296 --> 00:05:38,422
Good for you, man.
Hey, so, are you gonna be

108
00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:40,966
inviting your fake girlfriend
to the holiday party later?

109
00:05:41,051 --> 00:05:43,491
I mean, I just want to
make sure you have time to inflate her.

110
00:05:43,637 --> 00:05:44,678
Okay, Becca's real.

111
00:05:44,763 --> 00:05:46,847
And we're not gonna mix
business with pleasure.

112
00:05:47,098 --> 00:05:48,766
Sounds like he didn't invite her, dude.

113
00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:49,975
Oh, my God, did you not...

114
00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:52,645
No! I mean, I hope
she's not imaginary pissed.

115
00:05:52,729 --> 00:05:54,332
You won't get any more
imaginary blowjobs.

116
00:05:54,356 --> 00:05:55,356
Right?

117
00:05:55,607 --> 00:05:56,774
Tim. Drew.

118
00:05:57,025 --> 00:05:58,586
Hey, it's a couple days
before Christmas.

119
00:05:58,610 --> 00:06:00,504
Let's just try to keep it
positive till then, okay?

120
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,131
- We're totally positive.
- No, we're all about...

121
00:06:02,155 --> 00:06:03,948
Totally positive that he is full of shit.

122
00:06:04,699 --> 00:06:05,866
Hey...

123
00:06:06,076 --> 00:06:07,743
You bring it on yourself, Nate.

124
00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:09,838
- You know, I do have a girlfriend.
- I know.

125
00:06:09,871 --> 00:06:11,914
She's a human woman,
and we've done it.

126
00:06:11,998 --> 00:06:13,684
Maybe just don't talk
about her so much at work.

127
00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:15,061
It's just gonna make those guys jealous.

128
00:06:15,085 --> 00:06:18,295
You know, not only are you their boss,
but you also have a hot girlfriend.

129
00:06:18,380 --> 00:06:19,380
- Yeah.
- You know?

130
00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:23,550
- It's too much. I hate you.
- Yeah.

131
00:06:23,635 --> 00:06:25,386
- Have a good day.
- You, too!

132
00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:27,156
Can you believe
corporate raised the price

133
00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:28,597
in the vending machine again?

134
00:06:28,682 --> 00:06:30,099
$2 for ginger ale?

135
00:06:30,183 --> 00:06:32,268
They're trying to crush us like ants!

136
00:06:32,769 --> 00:06:35,271
No, there's a lot of
bad energy in this office.

137
00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:01,171
Yo, Josh, what the fuck?

138
00:07:01,256 --> 00:07:02,756
What the fuck, Tracey?

139
00:07:02,841 --> 00:07:05,259
You changed the security code
without telling me?

140
00:07:05,385 --> 00:07:07,822
Yeah, I'm working on sensitive shit,
and I don't want prying eyes.

141
00:07:07,846 --> 00:07:09,680
I'm prying eyes? I'm your supervisor.

142
00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:12,808
Chief technical officer,
lead systems engineer.

143
00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:15,329
Yeah, well, I'm the only one who knows
how to hack the security panel,

144
00:07:15,353 --> 00:07:18,188
so suck my dick.

145
00:07:18,273 --> 00:07:19,356
Nice. Okay.

146
00:07:19,441 --> 00:07:20,524
What are you working on?

147
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,276
It's too complicated to explain.

148
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,987
What is that,
subroutine for duplex compression?

149
00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:27,323
Don't tell me that's what I think it is.

150
00:07:27,407 --> 00:07:28,782
This is the future of Zenotek.

151
00:07:29,034 --> 00:07:30,594
Hey, we should pitch this to Data City!

152
00:07:30,827 --> 00:07:31,952
That's a theory.

153
00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:34,121
You want to peg
the company to a theory?

154
00:07:34,706 --> 00:07:36,582
Man, you used to get excited
by big ideas.

155
00:07:36,875 --> 00:07:39,251
Now you just bunt, and ask for
the same thing over and over.

156
00:07:39,336 --> 00:07:40,544
I swing for the fences.

157
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,629
And I'm going to change
the fucking game.

158
00:07:42,714 --> 00:07:44,965
Okay. I need the specs for
the Data City pitch, please.

159
00:07:45,717 --> 00:07:47,468
Already done. Here.

160
00:07:47,886 --> 00:07:49,011
Great. That was fast.

161
00:07:50,138 --> 00:07:51,638
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

162
00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:53,307
- Hey, are you okay?
- Yeah.

163
00:07:53,475 --> 00:07:54,952
Really? Because you seem
a little off today.

164
00:07:54,976 --> 00:07:55,976
You seem a little weird.

165
00:07:56,019 --> 00:07:57,144
- Well...
- Oh, my gosh!

166
00:07:57,228 --> 00:07:59,355
Today is the day, right? Hey!

167
00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,106
Congratulations, you're free!

168
00:08:01,399 --> 00:08:03,567
You gonna get a back tattoo
and some skinny jeans?

169
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,152
Funds are a little tight, but...

170
00:08:05,236 --> 00:08:06,236
It feels good to be free.

171
00:08:06,571 --> 00:08:07,571
Yeah.

172
00:08:07,822 --> 00:08:09,365
All right. Thank you for this.

173
00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:11,867
- Hey, J.
- Yeah?

174
00:08:12,869 --> 00:08:14,703
I got you for Secret Santa again.

175
00:08:15,205 --> 00:08:17,289
I know. I got you, too.

176
00:08:23,254 --> 00:08:26,715
Sweetie, that is so great!
Mommy's so proud of you.

177
00:08:26,883 --> 00:08:29,510
Hey, could you put your daddy back
on the phone for a second?

178
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:32,054
- Hey, Allison. Is he ready?
- You fucking motherfucker!

179
00:08:32,222 --> 00:08:33,783
If I hear you let your stripper girlfriend

180
00:08:33,807 --> 00:08:35,891
put my children on
her motorcycle one more time,

181
00:08:35,975 --> 00:08:37,935
I will Gone Girl you so hard!

182
00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:40,144
- You can go in.
- I'm just gonna go in. Thank you.

183
00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:43,462
No, no, no. Don't try and sell this
as some win-win situation.

184
00:08:43,525 --> 00:08:45,025
This is not my first rodeo, okay?

185
00:08:45,944 --> 00:08:47,152
- Is that Data City?
- No.

186
00:08:47,404 --> 00:08:48,404
No.

187
00:08:48,530 --> 00:08:50,114
Rick, do you want this deal or not?

188
00:08:50,532 --> 00:08:52,510
Because if you want him,
you're gonna have to pay for him.

189
00:08:52,534 --> 00:08:53,534
It's almost the playoffs,

190
00:08:53,618 --> 00:08:55,258
not the second week
of the regular season.

191
00:08:56,371 --> 00:08:57,996
Perfect. It's the right choice.

192
00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:02,042
I am running a train on this league.

193
00:09:02,377 --> 00:09:04,737
I... I don't think that that means
what you want it to mean.

194
00:09:04,963 --> 00:09:06,923
I'd love to talk to you
about the Data City pitch,

195
00:09:07,006 --> 00:09:08,067
for later on this afternoon?

196
00:09:08,091 --> 00:09:09,777
Yes, but first I want
your opinion on something.

197
00:09:09,801 --> 00:09:10,968
Okay.

198
00:09:11,845 --> 00:09:13,095
What do you think of this?

199
00:09:14,139 --> 00:09:15,264
I just got it.

200
00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:17,808
Look at that.

201
00:09:17,892 --> 00:09:21,103
I like it 'cause it looks like
he's trying just a little too hard.

202
00:09:21,312 --> 00:09:22,688
The artist?

203
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,898
I hadn't thought about the artist.

204
00:09:25,191 --> 00:09:26,471
I think it sends a good message.

205
00:09:26,526 --> 00:09:30,737
I think it says that you are strong
and you are willing to buy anything.

206
00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:33,073
- No, I commissioned it.
- That's more expensive.

207
00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:34,241
Yeah, but worth it.

208
00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:36,076
I think it's a great new addition.

209
00:09:36,161 --> 00:09:39,037
I'd love to talk about Data City,
the pitch this afternoon...

210
00:09:39,122 --> 00:09:40,141
I think it's super important.

211
00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:42,541
It is really important,
but we've got kind of a crisis.

212
00:09:44,335 --> 00:09:48,130
This is what corporate wants us to give
everyone for Christmas. Just this.

213
00:09:48,590 --> 00:09:49,923
Yeah, can't hand that out.

214
00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:51,925
And I'm already feeling kind of a

215
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:55,304
"fuck you" vibe down there,
definitely not Christmas spirit.

216
00:09:55,555 --> 00:09:56,889
I can't argue with you there.

217
00:09:57,098 --> 00:10:00,517
Good. I want to Secret Santa the shit
out of the staff meeting. Come on.

218
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:03,687
Can we work and walk?

219
00:10:04,022 --> 00:10:06,940
Allison, hold most of my calls,
not all of them.

220
00:10:07,025 --> 00:10:08,525
No, where are you going?

221
00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:09,985
Christmas shopping.

222
00:10:10,069 --> 00:10:12,112
What about that breakfast pizza
you ordered?

223
00:10:13,031 --> 00:10:14,948
You're not cold without a big coat on?

224
00:10:15,033 --> 00:10:18,076
No, I gain 15 pounds every winter
so I don't have to wear one.

225
00:10:18,703 --> 00:10:20,704
- That's a healthy choice.
- Not really.

226
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:23,457
Hey, are you bringing anybody
to this wine and cheese thing?

227
00:10:23,541 --> 00:10:24,791
No, I'll be there solo.

228
00:10:24,876 --> 00:10:27,252
Good. Smart.
So you can focus on Tracey, right?

229
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,025
Tracey and I work together.
What are you talking about?

230
00:10:31,049 --> 00:10:33,258
I'm just saying.
I can't be your work wife forever.

231
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:36,053
Hey, how fast do you think
you'd have to go to make that jump?

232
00:10:36,721 --> 00:10:38,305
- Boy, I don't know. In a car?
- Yeah.

233
00:10:38,389 --> 00:10:39,973
I just never thought about that.

234
00:10:40,058 --> 00:10:41,618
You know,
your mind's like a drunk baby.

235
00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:43,204
What do you think, 80 or 90?

236
00:10:43,228 --> 00:10:45,562
What would vin do? vin Diesel?
Or tyrese?

237
00:10:45,939 --> 00:10:47,773
They'd never make it, right? It's suicide.

238
00:10:47,857 --> 00:10:50,317
Unless you were going 120,
you put a bunch of free weights

239
00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:52,129
- in the trunk to even it out, you know...
- Okay.

240
00:10:52,153 --> 00:10:53,904
Then you just catch air.

241
00:10:53,988 --> 00:10:55,989
"Fuck you, gravity,
and you, Dom Toretto!"

242
00:10:56,074 --> 00:10:57,074
- Yeah.
- Then...

243
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,868
Just a smooth landing,
like a baby's buttocks.

244
00:10:59,953 --> 00:11:01,578
I'd love to pick this up indoors.

245
00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:03,849
You know, I've only ever seen
the first film,

246
00:11:03,873 --> 00:11:06,268
so I don't know if I'm much help to you
in this conversation. So...

247
00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:07,394
- Are you serious?
- Yeah. Here we go.

248
00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:08,479
Why am I just hearing about this?

249
00:11:08,503 --> 00:11:09,605
We've worked together for eight years.

250
00:11:09,629 --> 00:11:12,214
They only get more fast! More furious!

251
00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:13,966
I love this place.

252
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:16,677
So, what would people want?
Would they like...

253
00:11:17,637 --> 00:11:19,930
Is this Uv? ls Uv good or bad? I forget.

254
00:11:20,974 --> 00:11:23,414
- No, not for the eyes, it's good.
- Does it do anything here?

255
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,352
Probably. Is this for teeth whitening?

256
00:11:25,436 --> 00:11:27,437
Okay, what about this, right?

257
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,857
Everybody gets stressed at work
around this time of year.

258
00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:34,152
That could get you
a sexual harassment suit.

259
00:11:34,237 --> 00:11:35,237
What? Why?

260
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,947
Not everyone likes dildos for Christmas.

261
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,408
This isn't a dildo. It's a body massager.

262
00:11:39,617 --> 00:11:41,618
Yeah, well,
it's a circumcised purple penis.

263
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,120
It could be considered sexual.

264
00:11:43,288 --> 00:11:44,288
Why is it like that?

265
00:11:44,414 --> 00:11:46,415
Everything here
could be considered sexual.

266
00:11:46,541 --> 00:11:48,375
Hey, what about this
for Alan from legal?

267
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,210
Well, Alan's bald.

268
00:11:50,712 --> 00:11:51,939
It's so hard to shop for the bald.

269
00:11:51,963 --> 00:11:53,255
Who are they? What do they want?

270
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:54,923
Hair.

271
00:11:55,008 --> 00:11:57,134
You know, maybe we should just
go get some gift cards.

272
00:11:57,302 --> 00:11:58,677
That's exactly what we should do!

273
00:11:58,845 --> 00:12:00,197
"Here's a gift card
because I don't know you

274
00:12:00,221 --> 00:12:02,306
"and I don't care
and I won't get in trouble for it."

275
00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:03,701
You know,
when my dad ran this company,

276
00:12:03,725 --> 00:12:05,517
Christmas was actually a big deal.

277
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:06,961
At the Christmas party every year,

278
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,771
he would dress up like Santa Claus,
get everybody fucked up.

279
00:12:09,856 --> 00:12:10,897
Yeah, you could back then.

280
00:12:10,982 --> 00:12:12,691
He would throw gifts into the crowd.

281
00:12:12,984 --> 00:12:16,236
Derek Peterson shattered
his femur for a rotisserie set.

282
00:12:16,321 --> 00:12:18,382
And that was before Boston Chicken
was, like, a thing.

283
00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:20,449
- I've heard those stories.
- He took care of them.

284
00:12:20,658 --> 00:12:23,201
That's what I want for my people.
You know?

285
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:25,454
And I want that drone.

286
00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:28,040
Clay, let me ask you a question.

287
00:12:28,124 --> 00:12:32,461
You think that my management
style is... ls too careful?

288
00:12:33,338 --> 00:12:37,049
Do you think that I bunt
instead of swing for the fences?

289
00:12:37,383 --> 00:12:39,384
I want to be completely honest
with you, Josh.

290
00:12:39,552 --> 00:12:41,833
I wasn't paying attention,
so I didn't hear your question.

291
00:12:41,888 --> 00:12:43,638
- I can repeat it.
- I'd rather you didn't.

292
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:46,016
Because I can tell by
your face that it's serious.

293
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,768
And I want to tell you seriously,

294
00:12:47,852 --> 00:12:50,520
it's almost Christmas. Relax.

295
00:12:50,605 --> 00:12:51,915
- You want some of this?
- I think so.

296
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,299
- I don't think you do.
- You sure?

297
00:12:53,358 --> 00:12:54,649
I think you better get moving.

298
00:12:54,734 --> 00:12:55,901
Here he goes!

299
00:12:57,862 --> 00:12:59,738
Eat that! Eat it, Clay!

300
00:13:00,198 --> 00:13:01,490
Careful, careful, careful!

301
00:13:04,869 --> 00:13:05,869
We're good.

302
00:13:06,579 --> 00:13:07,704
No!

303
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:26,556
Hey!

304
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,580
Somebody is getting fired.

305
00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:55,419
Hey, Allison? Right?

306
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,087
- Yeah.
- I'm Fred.

307
00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:58,171
I just joined accounting.

308
00:13:58,756 --> 00:13:59,756
Hi.

309
00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:02,759
So, I saw that photo on your desk.

310
00:14:02,844 --> 00:14:03,844
Are those your kids?

311
00:14:03,928 --> 00:14:05,971
Yep. They're two and four.

312
00:14:06,097 --> 00:14:07,764
I'm a single mom.

313
00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:09,349
That's great.

314
00:14:09,434 --> 00:14:11,268
- I was raised by a single mom.
- Really?

315
00:14:11,352 --> 00:14:13,437
Yeah. if you ask me, Tupac was right.

316
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:14,855
Ain't a woman alive

317
00:14:14,939 --> 00:14:16,481
That could take my mama's place

318
00:14:18,443 --> 00:14:19,985
I don't know that song.

319
00:14:20,695 --> 00:14:21,695
Shit.

320
00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:23,738
Allison.

321
00:14:23,823 --> 00:14:26,491
- Where's Clay?
- He's unreachable.

322
00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:29,536
He's participating in a conference...
Summit...

323
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,204
Elon Musk,

324
00:14:31,289 --> 00:14:33,748
tech participation relay.

325
00:14:34,417 --> 00:14:35,584
Let's try that again.

326
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:37,210
Allison, where's Clay?

327
00:14:37,462 --> 00:14:39,379
- He's Christmas shopping.
- Okay.

328
00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:43,091
I would like all department heads
in the conference room in five minutes.

329
00:14:43,885 --> 00:14:44,945
Tell him to stop looking at me.

330
00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:45,969
Look away.

331
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:50,640
No, he's cute.

332
00:14:50,725 --> 00:14:51,766
Actually...

333
00:14:51,851 --> 00:14:53,894
It's like the calling never stops.

334
00:14:54,145 --> 00:14:55,812
I know. It's so annoying.

335
00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:03,487
You have got to be shitting me.

336
00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:06,531
So the bartender says,

337
00:15:06,616 --> 00:15:08,260
"We don't see many gorillas."
And the gorilla says,

338
00:15:08,284 --> 00:15:10,785
"Well, at $12 for a martini,
I can see why not."

339
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,329
You know a lot of gorilla jokes.

340
00:15:12,413 --> 00:15:14,080
- Yeah.
- Excuse me.

341
00:15:14,665 --> 00:15:17,709
What's going on? Something's off.

342
00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:19,294
Yeah, everyone's working.

343
00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:21,505
Shitster.

344
00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:23,048
It's my sister.

345
00:15:23,758 --> 00:15:26,384
There she is!
My sister from another mister!

346
00:15:26,469 --> 00:15:27,719
I'm kidding, our mother

347
00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:29,072
didn't start having affairs
until the mid-90s.

348
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,138
What are you doing here?

349
00:15:30,223 --> 00:15:32,974
Well, we were just going over
your fourth quarter earnings.

350
00:15:33,059 --> 00:15:34,976
And I wondered
if I was missing something.

351
00:15:35,061 --> 00:15:36,061
Probably.

352
00:15:36,479 --> 00:15:37,896
Clay, why don't you have a seat?

353
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:42,609
No. It's my branch, so I prefer to stand.

354
00:15:43,152 --> 00:15:44,152
Fine.

355
00:15:44,362 --> 00:15:47,280
Allison, would you please
remove Clay's chair?

356
00:15:48,199 --> 00:15:50,242
- Sure.
- Thank you.

357
00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:51,326
Sorry.

358
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:53,203
Thank you, Allison.

359
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:59,626
So we were all a little bit disappointed
not to hit 7% growth in this last quarter.

360
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:03,255
But 6.5% is right on
industry standard for the fall.

361
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,298
You need to hit 12%.

362
00:16:05,967 --> 00:16:07,842
- "Twelve"?
- Twelve is the new seven.

363
00:16:07,927 --> 00:16:09,010
- What?
- Since when?

364
00:16:09,554 --> 00:16:12,180
Since Dad died
and the board made me CEO.

365
00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:14,558
You mean interim CEO.

366
00:16:14,642 --> 00:16:18,645
Shut up. Listen, essentially,
this branch is failing.

367
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,438
6.5% is not failing.

368
00:16:20,523 --> 00:16:22,403
- Yes, it is.
- We're doing better than Orlando.

369
00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:25,235
I mean, half those jack-offs
had mono last year, right?

370
00:16:26,445 --> 00:16:29,239
Well, I closed the Orlando branch.
This morning.

371
00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:31,575
What?

372
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:35,787
I am sorry.

373
00:16:35,997 --> 00:16:38,999
Damn it. I hate tension, and l...

374
00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:40,792
I farted.

375
00:16:41,252 --> 00:16:43,420
You are not selling enough servers.

376
00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:47,257
You have no new ideas
and there is no new revenue.

377
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,676
- I have something new.
- Really?

378
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,386
- No, you don't.
- Yeah, I do.

379
00:16:51,679 --> 00:16:54,681
- It's not ready.
- It is ready.

380
00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:56,308
- We can hear you.
- Yeah, sorry.

381
00:16:56,392 --> 00:16:58,518
We can. It's a completely silent room.

382
00:16:58,603 --> 00:16:59,769
- Go ahead.
- Yeah...

383
00:17:01,272 --> 00:17:03,232
What's the most annoying thing
about the lnternet?

384
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:06,192
- Pictures of people's kids.
- Linkedln invites.

385
00:17:06,277 --> 00:17:08,528
My girlfriend's always on it.
I have a girlfriend.

386
00:17:08,821 --> 00:17:11,364
The lack ofAsian
male representation in porn.

387
00:17:11,574 --> 00:17:13,658
Grumpy Cat. It's like... It's Garfield.

388
00:17:13,826 --> 00:17:15,910
You know that orange
with the human dick?

389
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,514
Oh, my God, what is this, Shark Tank?

390
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:19,058
Can you just get to the point, please?

391
00:17:19,290 --> 00:17:20,832
It's getting on the lnternet.

392
00:17:23,294 --> 00:17:24,961
So we can already
connect to the lnternet

393
00:17:25,046 --> 00:17:26,504
through standard electrical lines

394
00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:28,298
and obviously we can do it
through the air.

395
00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:31,468
But what if we could combine
those technologies?

396
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,637
With Zenotek AnywAir,

397
00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:34,990
you can pull the lnternet wirelessly

398
00:17:35,014 --> 00:17:37,265
from anything that's connected
to a power grid.

399
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:40,727
Your appliances.
Street lights. A light bulb.

400
00:17:41,062 --> 00:17:44,272
You're never out of range,
and you're never low on signal.

401
00:17:44,732 --> 00:17:45,815
It's AnywAir.

402
00:17:47,485 --> 00:17:48,902
We're in the future.

403
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,071
And you can deliver that?

404
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,782
I'm still figuring out
some coding issues, but yes.

405
00:17:54,617 --> 00:17:56,451
Well, how long have you been figuring?

406
00:17:56,702 --> 00:17:58,453
- Four years.
- Four years?

407
00:17:58,871 --> 00:18:00,955
All right, well, that doesn't
sound very real to me.

408
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:03,166
Well, if it was real,
I wouldn't have to invent it.

409
00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:05,361
I'm sorry, what's your name again?

410
00:18:05,419 --> 00:18:06,503
Tracey Hughes.

411
00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:07,587
And if you forget again,

412
00:18:07,672 --> 00:18:09,756
it's on all of the
recent patents for Zenotek.

413
00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:12,861
You know what? I'm gonna sit.

414
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:17,722
Not because you told me to,
but because I prefer it.

415
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:19,808
So...

416
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:26,231
- Is there anything else?
- Actually, yes.

417
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:30,652
This is a sample cheeseboard
for our holiday mixer tonight.

418
00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:33,905
I know it's a little heavy on the Gouda...
That was the MvP last year.

419
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,574
I do have a feisty Cheddar on the bench.

420
00:18:36,659 --> 00:18:37,844
I think that pairs better with

421
00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:40,495
the mulled non-alcoholic wine
myself, but what do I know?

422
00:18:40,663 --> 00:18:42,080
Wait, wait. I'm sorry. Excuse me.

423
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:43,724
You're having
a Christmas party tonight?

424
00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:45,041
It's not a Christmas party.

425
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,919
It's a non-denominational holiday mixer.

426
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:49,045
More inclusive.

427
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,840
Well, whatever the fuck it is,
it's not happening.

428
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:53,860
Yeah, it's definitely...
Well, it's not "happenin"'

429
00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:55,885
because it happens
at 5:30 in the afternoon.

430
00:18:55,970 --> 00:18:58,323
It's just a small thing
that's really important to all of us,

431
00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:00,348
but trust me, it's gonna suck.

432
00:19:01,142 --> 00:19:03,727
No, it's not gonna suck,
because it's canceled.

433
00:19:03,853 --> 00:19:05,061
What?

434
00:19:05,146 --> 00:19:07,063
All branch Christmas parties
are canceled.

435
00:19:07,148 --> 00:19:08,189
It's a waste of money!

436
00:19:08,274 --> 00:19:10,358
Come on.
What are you guys not getting?

437
00:19:10,443 --> 00:19:12,360
All right, it's canceled.

438
00:19:12,695 --> 00:19:13,695
It's not.

439
00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:15,989
Clay! I mean it.

440
00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:19,367
Me, too, Carol.
Guys, the holiday mixer is canceled.

441
00:19:19,452 --> 00:19:20,452
- Yes.
- It won't be.

442
00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:23,163
Hey! It's canceled, Clay!

443
00:19:23,247 --> 00:19:24,516
The thing is not happening at all.

444
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:25,540
I'm not messing with you.

445
00:19:25,583 --> 00:19:27,125
Hey! Stop doing that!

446
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:29,085
Hey, idiot, I'm looking right at you.

447
00:19:30,129 --> 00:19:32,547
I saw that!
You whispered to the farty cheese lady.

448
00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:33,715
Well...

449
00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:35,675
Don't make me pull rank, Clay.

450
00:19:36,594 --> 00:19:37,844
It is canceled.

451
00:19:38,763 --> 00:19:40,847
Fine! Then this meeting is canceled!

452
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:47,812
Damn it!

453
00:19:49,774 --> 00:19:51,357
I was keeping it light in there.

454
00:19:51,442 --> 00:19:52,692
That was light?

455
00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:53,920
You have to give her a break, Josh.

456
00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:56,548
She's hated parties ever since
she started not getting invited to them.

457
00:19:56,572 --> 00:19:58,615
Please. That party's the least
of your problems.

458
00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:01,868
Is that Dad?

459
00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:05,413
No, Carol, I just have
some random guy's ashes in my office.

460
00:20:05,498 --> 00:20:06,498
Got it online.

461
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:09,667
Yes. He wanted them here,
with me, at his branch.

462
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,012
I thought they were gonna
divide him equally.

463
00:20:12,046 --> 00:20:14,483
It's not my fault that he always liked
hanging out with me more.

464
00:20:14,507 --> 00:20:16,466
I don't care. I got this company.

465
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,134
Moving on.

466
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,386
We have a lot of
big cuts to make. Okay?

467
00:20:20,471 --> 00:20:22,806
Obviously, bonuses are canceled.

468
00:20:23,849 --> 00:20:27,060
You know, there's a lot of people that
are relying on those bonuses.

469
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:29,145
I suppose you're still
getting your bonus, though.

470
00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:31,564
Secondly, I'm laying off
40% of your staff.

471
00:20:32,233 --> 00:20:33,233
"Forty"?

472
00:20:33,317 --> 00:20:36,569
Forty... That... We have 200 employees.
That's like, 60...

473
00:20:37,071 --> 00:20:39,113
- Some...
- That's 80. It's 80.

474
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:41,157
Eighty. That's, like, 80 employees.

475
00:20:41,534 --> 00:20:43,720
You got to give us
a little bit of time to turn this around.

476
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,555
Fine, then you have
until the end of the quarter.

477
00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:48,414
- That's two days.
- Is it? Oh, well.

478
00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:51,167
- This is unfair.
- You wanna talk unfair?

479
00:20:51,252 --> 00:20:53,419
How about Dad skipping
my Harvard graduation

480
00:20:53,504 --> 00:20:54,712
to go with you to the X Games?

481
00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:56,256
And you weren't even competing.

482
00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:58,424
You just sponsored
some guy's wakeboard.

483
00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:01,344
He got the bronze. Which is brown gold.

484
00:21:02,513 --> 00:21:04,533
All right, so I've made a list
of my first round of layoffs.

485
00:21:04,557 --> 00:21:05,677
So you might wanna get a pen

486
00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:07,327
- and start writing these down.
- No. Let me see that.

487
00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:08,685
- No. No.
- Give me that.

488
00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:10,562
- No!
- These are my employees!

489
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,730
Guys, are we sure about this?

490
00:21:12,815 --> 00:21:14,148
Say you won't make budget cuts.

491
00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:15,275
I swear to God, Clay!

492
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:16,419
Here comes the loogie express!

493
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:17,504
- Don't you dare!
- Say, "Everybody's

494
00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:19,528
- "gonna get a bonus," or else.
- You motherfucker.

495
00:21:19,572 --> 00:21:22,407
Suck that back in.
You suck that back in! You mother...

496
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,117
Clay.

497
00:21:25,286 --> 00:21:26,911
Oh, my God!

498
00:21:26,996 --> 00:21:28,538
Why do you do this to yourself?

499
00:21:28,622 --> 00:21:30,206
You know I took
nine years of Krav Maga.

500
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,375
Carol, you know, he's turning blue.

501
00:21:32,501 --> 00:21:34,919
Yeah. Our family, you got to tap out.

502
00:21:35,254 --> 00:21:36,963
Tap out. Tap out.

503
00:21:38,966 --> 00:21:40,174
Okay.

504
00:21:40,676 --> 00:21:42,427
All right. You okay?

505
00:21:43,888 --> 00:21:46,890
Dad gave you a free pass
your entire life,

506
00:21:47,099 --> 00:21:48,975
and you're not getting one from me.

507
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:53,062
The only way you're gonna hit
your targets this year is by cutting jobs.

508
00:21:54,064 --> 00:21:57,233
Hey, what if we landed
the Data City account?

509
00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:01,154
- Data City? Walter Davis?
- That's right.

510
00:22:01,238 --> 00:22:04,449
You do know that he's already
met with HP, Cisco and Oracle.

511
00:22:04,909 --> 00:22:06,349
Yeah, but he hasn't heard our pitch.

512
00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:07,535
No.

513
00:22:07,745 --> 00:22:09,871
Josh and I have been
drilling into it for weeks.

514
00:22:09,955 --> 00:22:11,748
Yeah. Months. Whole team.

515
00:22:11,916 --> 00:22:13,583
And we have a meeting with him

516
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:14,709
- this afternoon.
- Yeah.

517
00:22:16,128 --> 00:22:17,128
All right.

518
00:22:18,255 --> 00:22:20,089
Well, I'm on a flight to London tonight.

519
00:22:20,424 --> 00:22:23,676
So if by some miracle
you guys can close Walter Davis

520
00:22:23,761 --> 00:22:27,931
and his $14 million contract
by the time I land at Heathrow,

521
00:22:28,349 --> 00:22:29,349
the jobs are safe.

522
00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:30,683
Done!

523
00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:33,019
And you'll see,
you're gonna look so stupid.

524
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,313
Then we'll finally
have something in common.

525
00:22:38,192 --> 00:22:40,360
God damn it! She's so mean!

526
00:22:41,195 --> 00:22:43,696
People are saying "cuts."
What kind of cuts?

527
00:22:43,948 --> 00:22:45,448
Nothing's official.

528
00:22:45,616 --> 00:22:46,760
Guys, I can barely afford my rent.

529
00:22:46,784 --> 00:22:48,034
I'm sleeping in a closet.

530
00:22:48,202 --> 00:22:50,263
- Don't panic.
- You can't replace the new guy, right?

531
00:22:50,287 --> 00:22:51,765
You're probably gonna go
with people that are older,

532
00:22:51,789 --> 00:22:53,016
- more expensive?
- I don't want you to overreact.

533
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,959
I just bought that used Lexus, Josh.
I can't give it back.

534
00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:57,543
I put rims on it, man!

535
00:22:57,670 --> 00:23:01,130
I have six parrots with very expensive
medical issues. You know this.

536
00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:02,548
I'm gonna have to put one down.

537
00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:04,550
- Nobody is losing theirjobs!
- Yeah.

538
00:23:04,635 --> 00:23:07,303
That is a Josh and Clay
Christmas promise.

539
00:23:07,638 --> 00:23:09,639
Your promises are dog shit!

540
00:23:10,641 --> 00:23:13,226
- Boy, they turned quick.
- Yeah, they sure did.

541
00:23:16,146 --> 00:23:18,314
Jesus. lncest and rape?

542
00:23:19,191 --> 00:23:20,358
I mean, that is dark.

543
00:23:20,985 --> 00:23:22,485
That could be a different Clay.

544
00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:25,947
- And Carol.
- We got to land this pitch.

545
00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:28,927
Okay, everybody knows
what we're doing?

546
00:23:28,951 --> 00:23:31,327
Sure. We're just pitching to
save our company. No biggie.

547
00:23:31,412 --> 00:23:33,098
And we're proving that
my sister doesn't fuck me.

548
00:23:33,122 --> 00:23:34,872
- If anything, I fuck her!
- All right.

549
00:23:34,957 --> 00:23:37,458
Yeah, listen, I get the
spirit of that, but...

550
00:23:38,085 --> 00:23:40,044
We at Zenotek put the "client"

551
00:23:40,129 --> 00:23:43,798
in client-server
model service distribution.

552
00:23:44,133 --> 00:23:45,717
And this is a leave-behind.

553
00:23:46,719 --> 00:23:50,179
And we have some new innovation
that we can talk to you about later.

554
00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:51,431
Later.

555
00:23:51,515 --> 00:23:54,183
You got to... You got to go with us.

556
00:23:55,102 --> 00:23:56,436
Okay.

557
00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:00,398
Thank you for the pitch.

558
00:24:01,275 --> 00:24:04,068
Just give me a beat,
and I'll let you know my decision.

559
00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:08,156
Okay. When you say "beat,"
you're talking about an hour

560
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,241
or a day? A full day?

561
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:12,368
Certainly before the holidays,
I'd imagine, right?

562
00:24:12,703 --> 00:24:16,372
Listen, it's Christmas, so, I'll be honest.

563
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:18,708
Your servers are good.

564
00:24:19,543 --> 00:24:22,045
Dell's servers are good.

565
00:24:22,755 --> 00:24:24,213
- So...
- You're gonna go with us.

566
00:24:25,174 --> 00:24:26,799
- I'm gonna go with Dell.
- Fuck!

567
00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:27,967
- Why?
- Don't.

568
00:24:28,052 --> 00:24:29,469
I... I know your product.

569
00:24:29,553 --> 00:24:31,721
My problem is with your culture.

570
00:24:32,389 --> 00:24:34,432
Our culture is great.

571
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:35,808
That's not what I hear.

572
00:24:35,893 --> 00:24:38,186
Word is you're closing branches
and making layoffs.

573
00:24:38,270 --> 00:24:40,313
- That's not true.
- No, that's barely true.

574
00:24:40,397 --> 00:24:41,898
A mixture of fabrication and rumor.

575
00:24:41,982 --> 00:24:44,400
Look, I get it. You got to make money.

576
00:24:45,069 --> 00:24:46,829
And every quarter
you got to make more money.

577
00:24:46,904 --> 00:24:48,321
And if you got to fire some people

578
00:24:48,405 --> 00:24:50,448
and cut back on some benefits
to make it happen,

579
00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:52,533
that's what business is now, right?

580
00:24:52,826 --> 00:24:54,911
And as long as the board
has gotten its bonus

581
00:24:54,995 --> 00:24:57,246
and the stock is ticking up? Come on.

582
00:24:57,372 --> 00:24:58,452
Sir, that's not who we are.

583
00:24:58,499 --> 00:25:00,499
And if you came to our offices,
you would see that.

584
00:25:00,542 --> 00:25:01,822
You should come meet our people.

585
00:25:01,877 --> 00:25:03,503
Yeah, we're a family business.

586
00:25:03,587 --> 00:25:04,796
Everyone loves everyone.

587
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,214
I mean, Clay and his sister,

588
00:25:06,298 --> 00:25:08,424
they're so close
it's almost inappropriate.

589
00:25:09,927 --> 00:25:12,178
We would love the opportunity
to prove you wrong.

590
00:25:12,262 --> 00:25:15,014
I'm sure you have wonderful
cubicles and great carpeting,

591
00:25:15,099 --> 00:25:17,058
but I've done those tours before.

592
00:25:17,684 --> 00:25:18,726
I'm gonna pass.

593
00:25:20,604 --> 00:25:21,964
- Thank you so much.
- We got that.

594
00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:24,501
- No, they've already put it on my room.
- It's the least we can do.

595
00:25:24,525 --> 00:25:27,944
And in addition to the breakfast
my company won't pay for anymore.

596
00:25:28,821 --> 00:25:30,071
Good luck, guys.

597
00:25:31,698 --> 00:25:33,199
Great. That was uplifting.

598
00:25:33,367 --> 00:25:34,367
He's saying we suck.

599
00:25:34,451 --> 00:25:35,868
Our big closer was a thumb drive.

600
00:25:36,036 --> 00:25:38,389
Yeah, but we don't suck.
We just need a way to show him that.

601
00:25:38,413 --> 00:25:39,413
How are we gonna do that?

602
00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:41,601
We're gonna invite him to our canceled
wine and cheese night?

603
00:25:41,625 --> 00:25:43,126
No, we should take him out for real.

604
00:25:43,210 --> 00:25:44,210
I mean, you heard him.

605
00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:45,814
His company won't even
buy him breakfast.

606
00:25:45,838 --> 00:25:48,047
He's an old school guy
who drinks scotch at lunch.

607
00:25:48,465 --> 00:25:50,385
We should take him out
and show him a great time.

608
00:25:50,467 --> 00:25:51,694
So we'll hook him up with Don Draper,

609
00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:53,678
then go out and get
a couple of steaks and an STD.

610
00:25:54,054 --> 00:25:55,763
No, no, no. You're both right.

611
00:25:55,848 --> 00:25:58,975
We show him a great time
at our office Christmas party tonight.

612
00:25:59,143 --> 00:26:00,351
What? I didn't say that.

613
00:26:00,435 --> 00:26:01,936
- It's not the worst idea.
- Right?

614
00:26:02,104 --> 00:26:04,290
Of course it is. We don't even have
an office Christmas party.

615
00:26:04,314 --> 00:26:06,034
Carol said no
to all discretionary spending.

616
00:26:06,066 --> 00:26:07,961
She wants to lay off 40%.
You want to double that?

617
00:26:07,985 --> 00:26:09,652
My sister doesn't do anything at 40%.

618
00:26:09,736 --> 00:26:11,589
She's just cutting off our legs
so we can't run away

619
00:26:11,613 --> 00:26:13,413
when she wants to fucking
curb-stomp our face.

620
00:26:13,574 --> 00:26:15,158
This is the way we close Walter.

621
00:26:15,492 --> 00:26:17,532
We throw the best Christmas
party he's ever been to.

622
00:26:17,703 --> 00:26:19,806
He loves it, he loves us,
he sees we care about people,

623
00:26:19,830 --> 00:26:22,190
he falls in love with our culture,
he wants to work with us.

624
00:26:22,374 --> 00:26:23,814
This is how we save everybody's job!

625
00:26:24,376 --> 00:26:26,210
I like it, Josh. Say yes.

626
00:26:27,129 --> 00:26:29,755
He's walking away,
unless you have a better idea.

627
00:26:29,965 --> 00:26:31,215
That's your approval sigh.

628
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,050
Walter?

629
00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:35,469
We have one more pitch for you.

630
00:26:35,554 --> 00:26:36,596
Do you party?

631
00:26:39,016 --> 00:26:40,183
I used to.

632
00:27:01,538 --> 00:27:06,250
Okay, so we have to throw a massive
party from scratch in five hours.

633
00:27:06,335 --> 00:27:08,354
Yeah. And we got an office full of
pissed-off employees.

634
00:27:08,378 --> 00:27:10,498
You guys, I got this.
I have a black belt in partying.

635
00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:11,941
That's why I got kicked out
of boarding school

636
00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:13,125
and two intensive care units.

637
00:27:13,175 --> 00:27:15,885
Listen. Did you see this?
"It's F-ing Christmas, B's.

638
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:17,345
"Let's get mother-F-ing drunk.

639
00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:18,930
- "Attendance mandatory."
- Yeah.

640
00:27:19,056 --> 00:27:20,181
Lawsuit!

641
00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:21,784
Mary, it's for the greater good, okay?

642
00:27:21,808 --> 00:27:23,309
Joel, would you do me a favor?

643
00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:24,579
Would you get Fred up to Clay's office?

644
00:27:24,603 --> 00:27:25,603
- Yeah, sure.
- Thank you.

645
00:27:25,687 --> 00:27:27,146
- Wait!
- Yup.

646
00:27:27,231 --> 00:27:29,459
I don't know if it's helpful,
but regarding the music tonight,

647
00:27:29,483 --> 00:27:31,403
I happen to have a friend
who's a pretty good DJ.

648
00:27:31,860 --> 00:27:33,194
Great. Bring him.

649
00:27:33,362 --> 00:27:35,071
- See, we already got a DJ.
- Yep.

650
00:27:35,572 --> 00:27:37,114
So let me get this straight.

651
00:27:37,199 --> 00:27:41,494
Now we're having this great party
and we're getting our bonuses at it.

652
00:27:41,578 --> 00:27:44,080
Yes, Jeremy, because you deserve it!

653
00:27:44,373 --> 00:27:46,332
Maybe you shouldn't have
promised them bonuses.

654
00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:47,496
No, first rule of business,

655
00:27:47,542 --> 00:27:50,211
shoot for the moon
and you'll land on the sun.

656
00:27:50,295 --> 00:27:51,775
I'd love to know where you read that.

657
00:27:51,838 --> 00:27:53,398
And let's just focus on closing Walter.

658
00:27:53,423 --> 00:27:55,109
- You know?
- Carol burned this place to the ground.

659
00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:57,176
We are planting
the seeds of a new dawn.

660
00:27:58,553 --> 00:28:00,388
Smitty? Clay vanstone.

661
00:28:00,514 --> 00:28:02,617
No, I'm not dead. That was
just a rumor, although well-founded.

662
00:28:02,641 --> 00:28:04,361
How much alcohol
can I legally buy from you?

663
00:28:10,816 --> 00:28:11,816
Move out of my way.

664
00:28:11,900 --> 00:28:14,318
I swear to God,
I will drop this on your back. Move!

665
00:28:14,569 --> 00:28:15,861
You know what?

666
00:28:15,946 --> 00:28:18,281
Merry Christmas,
you sweet motherfucker.

667
00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:19,467
- You're coming, yeah, Smitty?
- Yes.

668
00:28:19,491 --> 00:28:20,593
- Yes! Okay. You want this?
- No.

669
00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:21,617
All right.

670
00:28:26,581 --> 00:28:28,582
I'm keeping this lamb.

671
00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:33,189
We need something else,
something that will make us look cool.

672
00:28:33,213 --> 00:28:35,066
Does anybody know anybody
who knows the Kanye West?

673
00:28:35,090 --> 00:28:36,090
- No.
- No.

674
00:28:36,174 --> 00:28:37,774
But my girlfriend does PR for the Bulls.

675
00:28:37,843 --> 00:28:39,404
Okay, does your girlfriend
have a friend who knows

676
00:28:39,428 --> 00:28:41,053
the man that makes us call him Yeezy?

677
00:28:41,138 --> 00:28:43,431
Nate, what's up, man? Did you see?

678
00:28:43,515 --> 00:28:45,933
Significant others are welcome
at the party. Look at that.

679
00:28:46,018 --> 00:28:47,412
Looks like we're finally
gonna meet Becca.

680
00:28:47,436 --> 00:28:48,436
Yeah!

681
00:28:48,729 --> 00:28:49,895
Shoot.

682
00:28:49,980 --> 00:28:53,065
Except she's working late tonight.
Modeling.

683
00:28:53,150 --> 00:28:55,943
Is she shooting the cover
of full ofShit magazine?

684
00:28:56,570 --> 00:28:58,571
You know what? She's gonna be there.

685
00:28:58,697 --> 00:29:01,032
You guys! Nate's girlfriend's coming!

686
00:29:02,159 --> 00:29:04,702
Shit! Match, match, match.
Match! Come on.

687
00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:10,833
Okay. What are we gonna do
with these after the party?

688
00:29:11,001 --> 00:29:12,001
Raffle.

689
00:29:23,263 --> 00:29:24,638
Hey, dicks.

690
00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:29,185
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

691
00:29:29,853 --> 00:29:30,853
Finish him!

692
00:29:31,188 --> 00:29:34,440
For a failing branch,
we're surprisingly productive.

693
00:29:34,691 --> 00:29:36,692
Yeah, I just wish Carol could see this.

694
00:29:36,943 --> 00:29:39,111
No, Clay, that would be very bad.

695
00:29:39,529 --> 00:29:40,571
Yeah, you're right.

696
00:29:40,655 --> 00:29:42,008
All right, go put on your party suits.

697
00:29:42,032 --> 00:29:43,712
- Yeah.
- Tonight's gonna be a great night.

698
00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:10,935
Clay, I told you,
I don't need to do any pre-game for...

699
00:30:11,770 --> 00:30:13,437
- Carol.
- Pre-game for what?

700
00:30:13,563 --> 00:30:16,065
For the work session we got tonight.

701
00:30:16,274 --> 00:30:18,150
And to complete the process of...

702
00:30:18,235 --> 00:30:19,587
We're closing Walter Davis, you know?

703
00:30:19,611 --> 00:30:20,851
It's going really, really well.

704
00:30:21,029 --> 00:30:22,154
Phase one's complete.

705
00:30:22,656 --> 00:30:23,781
Why don't you come on in?

706
00:30:23,949 --> 00:30:25,259
I thought you were going to London.

707
00:30:25,283 --> 00:30:27,743
I was on my way to the airport,

708
00:30:27,828 --> 00:30:29,578
but I thought I would stop by and

709
00:30:30,122 --> 00:30:32,123
have a tour of your bachelor pad.

710
00:30:34,501 --> 00:30:35,960
Well, that didn't take long.

711
00:30:36,336 --> 00:30:37,795
How did you know about my divorce?

712
00:30:38,171 --> 00:30:40,840
You changed your
emergency contact to "self."

713
00:30:40,966 --> 00:30:43,526
And nobody single by choice
would live this close to the freeway.

714
00:30:43,552 --> 00:30:45,219
Is that robe why your wife left you?

715
00:30:45,512 --> 00:30:46,720
What do you want, Carol?

716
00:30:46,805 --> 00:30:48,431
I want you to work for me in New York.

717
00:30:48,557 --> 00:30:50,558
You basically run this branch
without the credit.

718
00:30:50,642 --> 00:30:52,935
I will double your salary,
you'll get job security,

719
00:30:53,311 --> 00:30:55,146
and a boss who doesn't
end every memo

720
00:30:55,230 --> 00:30:56,480
with a quote from Aerosmith.

721
00:30:56,773 --> 00:31:00,443
I could never do that to Clay,
and I'm very happy where I am.

722
00:31:00,652 --> 00:31:01,652
- Really?
- Yeah.

723
00:31:01,695 --> 00:31:03,237
I don't see happy.

724
00:31:04,239 --> 00:31:05,781
I see crappy.

725
00:31:06,825 --> 00:31:08,993
And a rug that makes me sad.

726
00:31:10,245 --> 00:31:11,245
Anyway...

727
00:31:12,289 --> 00:31:14,915
I don't know, just think about it.
When the branch closes,

728
00:31:15,333 --> 00:31:18,377
and Clay has a trust fund to fall back on,

729
00:31:18,962 --> 00:31:20,337
what are you gonna have?

730
00:31:21,173 --> 00:31:22,465
Not much.

731
00:31:22,757 --> 00:31:24,467
Merry Christmas!

732
00:31:33,935 --> 00:31:35,394
- Thank you.
- You got it.

733
00:31:39,107 --> 00:31:41,192
Hey, man. Good to see you. Hi.

734
00:31:41,526 --> 00:31:43,566
- Eight years I've been working here.
- Turn around.

735
00:31:44,446 --> 00:31:46,280
What are you hoping to find
anyway, Carla?

736
00:31:46,364 --> 00:31:47,907
What's your dream contraband?

737
00:31:47,991 --> 00:31:49,325
I just like making you my bitch.

738
00:31:49,409 --> 00:31:51,410
- You can go.
- Thank you.

739
00:31:51,745 --> 00:31:55,789
You look like Cinderella
if she joined the TSA.

740
00:31:56,750 --> 00:31:59,460
Very, very nice.
Okay, take a look at this, please.

741
00:31:59,586 --> 00:32:00,628
Who's Mr. December?

742
00:32:00,712 --> 00:32:01,939
This is Walter Davis, he's a vlP.

743
00:32:01,963 --> 00:32:04,192
I want you to do me a favor and
let me know the second he comes in.

744
00:32:04,216 --> 00:32:05,216
Can you do that?

745
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:06,819
You will hear the sound of heavy flirting.

746
00:32:06,843 --> 00:32:08,719
- Or just a text. That'd be great.
- Okay.

747
00:32:08,803 --> 00:32:10,323
- And are you gonna join us later?
- No, I doubt it.

748
00:32:10,347 --> 00:32:13,140
I have to protect the front lines,
make sure no crazy stuff happens.

749
00:32:13,225 --> 00:32:15,476
But if it does... I'm ready.

750
00:32:15,727 --> 00:32:18,312
- And you went with the yellow. Smart.
- Right?

751
00:32:18,813 --> 00:32:20,064
Hey.

752
00:32:21,650 --> 00:32:24,318
- How's everyone doing tonight?
- Great.

753
00:32:24,569 --> 00:32:26,070
It's my birthday.

754
00:32:26,530 --> 00:32:28,739
Really committing. That's nice.

755
00:32:32,077 --> 00:32:33,702
Hey, look at that!

756
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,746
- Hi.
- Hey, there, Susan.

757
00:32:36,164 --> 00:32:37,724
- Nice reindeer, right?
- How you doin'?

758
00:32:37,749 --> 00:32:39,143
Throw that in coat check for me, please.

759
00:32:39,167 --> 00:32:40,334
Thank you. You look great.

760
00:32:41,211 --> 00:32:42,586
- Hey, Josh.
- Hey, Dean.

761
00:32:42,712 --> 00:32:44,272
You... You thought you'd bring the kid?

762
00:32:44,714 --> 00:32:46,882
Yeah. We couldn't get anyone
to watch him.

763
00:32:47,050 --> 00:32:48,425
But don't worry, he has an iPad.

764
00:32:48,552 --> 00:32:50,833
We could ax murder each other
and he wouldn't even notice.

765
00:32:50,971 --> 00:32:53,051
He'll just sit there with
that dumb look on his face.

766
00:32:53,431 --> 00:32:54,682
Yeah, that's the one.

767
00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:58,269
Okay. Well, can you stick him
in my office for me?

768
00:32:58,436 --> 00:33:01,105
- If you're cool with that.
- Sure. Well, not cool, but...

769
00:33:01,189 --> 00:33:02,815
- Have a good time.
- Thank you.

770
00:33:04,109 --> 00:33:05,693
All right. Let's drop him quick,

771
00:33:05,777 --> 00:33:07,903
because these edibles
are gonna kick in any second.

772
00:33:24,963 --> 00:33:26,922
- Hey, Mr. Parker.
- Hey, Rodney.

773
00:33:27,007 --> 00:33:28,507
- Want a Zeno Punch?
- No.

774
00:33:28,633 --> 00:33:30,301
- Foam finger?
- Neither.

775
00:33:30,802 --> 00:33:33,012
And, you know, we can skip this, too.

776
00:33:33,346 --> 00:33:35,139
- Good spirit, though. Yep.
- Okay.

777
00:33:40,228 --> 00:33:43,063
Could I have a beer, please?
Pretty great, huh, Jeremy?

778
00:33:43,273 --> 00:33:45,899
Yeah, it's so weird,
I feel like I'm still at the office.

779
00:33:45,984 --> 00:33:48,402
Yeah. Thank you.

780
00:33:51,614 --> 00:33:53,407
It's so nice not to have to
talk about work.

781
00:33:53,491 --> 00:33:54,783
Yeah, so nice.

782
00:33:58,371 --> 00:34:00,539
Hey, hey, fellas. All looks good, huh?

783
00:34:00,623 --> 00:34:02,750
- Good, Josh. Great party.
- Thank you. So far.

784
00:34:03,793 --> 00:34:05,711
- The bar free all night?
- It is, yeah.

785
00:34:05,795 --> 00:34:07,546
So is all this yummy food. Give it a try.

786
00:34:07,630 --> 00:34:09,430
How about that salmon station
down there, huh?

787
00:34:09,466 --> 00:34:10,883
Sales has already given it a whack.

788
00:34:12,052 --> 00:34:13,385
I hate those guys.

789
00:34:13,470 --> 00:34:15,679
- Hairy-shouldered donkey fuckers.
- Hey...

790
00:34:16,014 --> 00:34:18,254
The only reason Legal hates Sales
is because of your job.

791
00:34:18,308 --> 00:34:20,953
They wanna do shit, and you guys
gotta tell them why they can't. That's all.

792
00:34:20,977 --> 00:34:22,353
Yeah, but we're fucking right.

793
00:34:22,437 --> 00:34:23,729
It's not about being right.

794
00:34:23,813 --> 00:34:28,108
This is a party. It's about embracing
a little wrong. Come on, eat up.

795
00:34:59,307 --> 00:35:00,391
God,

796
00:35:00,767 --> 00:35:02,687
I know I haven't asked you
for much in this life.

797
00:35:03,228 --> 00:35:05,062
Granted, I was born rich.

798
00:35:05,397 --> 00:35:08,565
And white. And male. And straight.

799
00:35:08,900 --> 00:35:12,027
Except for that one time.
But that's Las vegas.

800
00:35:13,238 --> 00:35:16,073
But tonight I need you
to bless this party.

801
00:35:16,908 --> 00:35:18,450
This party has to rock.

802
00:35:18,910 --> 00:35:20,411
So we can get Walter's contract,

803
00:35:20,495 --> 00:35:23,122
so that everyone can keep theirjobs,
especially Allison.

804
00:35:23,206 --> 00:35:24,873
I mean, she is losing it!

805
00:35:24,958 --> 00:35:27,042
And she has
all my personal information.

806
00:35:27,502 --> 00:35:29,628
And so that we can prove
my sister wrong.

807
00:35:29,712 --> 00:35:31,338
Show her that I am a good boss.

808
00:35:35,427 --> 00:35:37,010
And will you say hi to our dad?

809
00:35:38,138 --> 00:35:39,638
And tell him we really miss him.

810
00:35:43,101 --> 00:35:45,018
And that I'm rocking his Santa suit.

811
00:35:45,645 --> 00:35:48,040
And tell Prince and David Bowie
how much they meant to everybody.

812
00:35:48,064 --> 00:35:49,898
I mean, Labyrinth, purple Rain...

813
00:35:50,525 --> 00:35:51,650
They know.

814
00:35:53,903 --> 00:35:55,195
All right,

815
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,114
let's light this fucking candle.

816
00:36:14,841 --> 00:36:18,343
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, Zenotek!

817
00:36:18,511 --> 00:36:20,095
It's me, Santa Claus!

818
00:36:20,180 --> 00:36:22,639
I'ma comin' to town for an epic night.

819
00:36:24,434 --> 00:36:25,434
Santa!

820
00:36:26,811 --> 00:36:28,479
That's okay, we'll get there.

821
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:33,984
Watch this, Greg.

822
00:36:36,863 --> 00:36:38,989
Dean! Clear. I'm coming around.

823
00:36:41,534 --> 00:36:42,534
Shit.

824
00:36:45,788 --> 00:36:46,955
God.

825
00:36:47,165 --> 00:36:48,415
It's okay!

826
00:36:49,125 --> 00:36:50,792
It's okay! That was part of it.

827
00:36:50,877 --> 00:36:53,378
Okay, Santa, what an entrance!

828
00:36:55,215 --> 00:36:57,049
Right down the chimney, folks!

829
00:36:57,133 --> 00:37:00,135
Merry Christmas, bitches!
Santa can't be hurt.

830
00:37:00,220 --> 00:37:01,428
You doing okay? You all right?

831
00:37:01,513 --> 00:37:02,865
- That really did hurt, yeah...
- Are you sure?

832
00:37:02,889 --> 00:37:04,932
But you know what,
I had this for padding.

833
00:37:05,016 --> 00:37:06,808
Holy shit. What the fuck is that?

834
00:37:06,893 --> 00:37:08,287
Tell me that's not for something illegal.

835
00:37:08,311 --> 00:37:09,991
No, no, no. Don't worry, this is all mine.

836
00:37:10,063 --> 00:37:11,647
I rented one of those Money Tornados.

837
00:37:11,814 --> 00:37:13,023
So for the bonuses later,

838
00:37:13,107 --> 00:37:14,775
I'm gonna make it rain like a hurricane.

839
00:37:14,859 --> 00:37:16,086
Are you sure you're not
getting carried away?

840
00:37:16,110 --> 00:37:17,880
This seems like a lot of money
you're spending.

841
00:37:17,904 --> 00:37:19,821
Josh, this is Christmas, okay?

842
00:37:19,906 --> 00:37:22,092
And if anybody knows how to
work within a budget, it's me.

843
00:37:22,116 --> 00:37:23,659
All right? And speaking of.

844
00:37:24,869 --> 00:37:26,203
There you go. Hi.

845
00:37:26,412 --> 00:37:27,454
- Cool.
- Little Jesus.

846
00:37:27,539 --> 00:37:30,207
- Did you rent a live baby?
- Yeah, for the nativity scene.

847
00:37:30,792 --> 00:37:32,626
What? It's cheaper than you think, okay?

848
00:37:32,877 --> 00:37:34,044
Is it?

849
00:37:38,258 --> 00:37:41,134
Shit! DJ Calvis in the house tonight!

850
00:37:41,344 --> 00:37:42,511
God, no.

851
00:37:42,595 --> 00:37:46,640
Add my Snapchat, DJ Calvis.

852
00:37:47,016 --> 00:37:50,185
Joel's friend looks just like Joel.

853
00:37:52,689 --> 00:37:54,773
Looks like some babies
getting made tonight!

854
00:37:55,066 --> 00:37:56,692
I'm not looking to get pregnant tonight.

855
00:37:56,776 --> 00:37:58,443
Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.

856
00:37:58,903 --> 00:38:00,696
Joel, that's a red card for you.

857
00:38:01,406 --> 00:38:04,658
Babies are not getting made tonight,
not here on company property.

858
00:38:04,826 --> 00:38:06,266
If you're going to have intercourse,

859
00:38:06,327 --> 00:38:09,454
please go beyond the flood lamps
at the perimeter of the plaza

860
00:38:09,622 --> 00:38:11,540
and into the Rite Aid parking lot.

861
00:38:11,791 --> 00:38:14,209
That's right. 'Cause we fucking tonight!

862
00:38:14,502 --> 00:38:16,128
Joel. Language.

863
00:38:16,462 --> 00:38:18,839
This is still an office, and

864
00:38:18,923 --> 00:38:22,342
even though it's dark outside,
the rules don't turn off.

865
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,304
The rules may not turn off,
but your inhibitions can!

866
00:38:25,513 --> 00:38:28,473
I'm talking about take your pee-pees out
and put 'em in some booties!

867
00:38:30,268 --> 00:38:32,811
And remember that tonight
the decisions you make

868
00:38:32,979 --> 00:38:35,897
will have consequences
that will haunt you

869
00:38:35,982 --> 00:38:37,816
for the rest of your professional lives.

870
00:38:38,318 --> 00:38:39,484
And...

871
00:38:39,944 --> 00:38:41,528
And so have fun.

872
00:38:41,613 --> 00:38:43,572
Yeah, Mary,
way to psyche everybody up!

873
00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:47,284
Main takeaway, if you're gonna fuck,
do it in the parking lot.

874
00:38:47,368 --> 00:38:48,368
Turn it up!

875
00:38:50,955 --> 00:38:52,289
I hate office parties.

876
00:38:52,415 --> 00:38:54,977
How are you supposed to have fun
at the place that bores you the most?

877
00:38:55,001 --> 00:38:57,521
I know. I just keep thinking about
all the work I don't care about.

878
00:38:57,545 --> 00:39:00,422
And I wouldn't fuck anyone in this party
even on a dare.

879
00:39:00,923 --> 00:39:03,216
The only guy I would maybe consider
is Rob from Logistics.

880
00:39:03,301 --> 00:39:05,070
He looks pretty good
since he got his stomach stapled.

881
00:39:05,094 --> 00:39:07,137
- Well, Fred's cute.
- Who?

882
00:39:07,555 --> 00:39:08,889
The new guy from Accounting.

883
00:39:08,973 --> 00:39:11,516
Yeah, I normally wouldn't wanna
date someone from Accounting.

884
00:39:11,601 --> 00:39:13,685
You know, or, like, from work at all,

885
00:39:13,770 --> 00:39:16,313
but it's just that thing of like...

886
00:39:16,397 --> 00:39:20,859
I don't have any friends outside of work
anymore, so...

887
00:39:21,152 --> 00:39:22,778
What were you guys
talking about though?

888
00:39:23,196 --> 00:39:24,196
I'm talking about these.

889
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,156
Oh, my God. What are those?

890
00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:28,116
I don't know. But they're prescription.

891
00:39:28,201 --> 00:39:30,577
Which means that some doctor gave it
to someone,

892
00:39:30,662 --> 00:39:31,972
which means that
it's good enough for me.

893
00:39:31,996 --> 00:39:33,372
That's some bad logic.

894
00:39:34,290 --> 00:39:36,375
No. You know, 'cause I'm a mom.

895
00:39:36,459 --> 00:39:38,126
I try not to get high on any drugs.

896
00:39:38,211 --> 00:39:39,461
You know? Except Zoloft.

897
00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:56,269
- Hey.
- Hey! Someone cleans up nice.

898
00:39:57,647 --> 00:40:00,732
Yeah, l... I'm wearing
the same clothes, from earlier.

899
00:40:01,067 --> 00:40:03,402
Yeah. I was just making a party joke.

900
00:40:03,486 --> 00:40:05,195
I didn't want to go all the way home

901
00:40:05,279 --> 00:40:08,031
and then come back, so I just
sat in my car and worked.

902
00:40:08,449 --> 00:40:10,992
Also I was waiting for
my phone to charge.

903
00:40:12,578 --> 00:40:14,037
So you're all charged up!

904
00:40:17,041 --> 00:40:18,041
What?

905
00:40:18,251 --> 00:40:20,252
I said you're all charged up.

906
00:40:20,586 --> 00:40:22,003
Yeah, my phone.

907
00:40:22,505 --> 00:40:24,089
Hey, the music is really loud.

908
00:40:24,173 --> 00:40:25,757
Do you want to go somewhere and talk?

909
00:40:26,509 --> 00:40:28,510
- Yeah.
- Okay.

910
00:40:30,596 --> 00:40:32,222
- Dude, check it out.
- What?

911
00:40:32,306 --> 00:40:35,058
Jenna in Shipping just bought
To Kill a mockingbird.

912
00:40:35,143 --> 00:40:37,371
Maybe we can talk to her about
whatever the hell that is.

913
00:40:37,395 --> 00:40:39,855
- Yeah.
- Dude, did you hack her email?

914
00:40:40,022 --> 00:40:42,441
Yeah. I kind of hacked everyone's.

915
00:40:43,359 --> 00:40:44,985
Fucking awesome, man.

916
00:40:45,069 --> 00:40:48,280
That's my boy. Nice, nice. Hey, hey.
What about Nikki?

917
00:40:48,364 --> 00:40:50,699
Yeah. Nikki, Nikki. Okay, bam. Nikki.

918
00:40:51,033 --> 00:40:53,577
- French bulldog got murdered...
- Nice.

919
00:40:53,661 --> 00:40:55,620
- Her brother is in rehab.
- That's fantastic.

920
00:40:55,705 --> 00:40:57,122
And she loves The Big Bang Theory.

921
00:40:57,206 --> 00:40:59,374
All right. Big Bang, bulldog, rehab.
Got it.

922
00:40:59,459 --> 00:41:02,169
Watch and learn, little man.
Here comes Dr. Orgasm.

923
00:41:06,758 --> 00:41:09,134
Hey. How are you? I heard...

924
00:41:09,927 --> 00:41:11,261
Shit.

925
00:41:13,473 --> 00:41:15,633
Definitely should have opened with
The Big Bang Theory.

926
00:41:19,312 --> 00:41:22,397
- Butler.
- It is... That's Jimmy Butler.

927
00:41:22,482 --> 00:41:24,357
- He plays for the Bulls.
- This is Zenotek.

928
00:41:24,442 --> 00:41:25,942
Shit!

929
00:41:26,444 --> 00:41:28,069
That's Jimmy Butler right there!

930
00:41:28,488 --> 00:41:29,780
Who's Jimmy Butler?

931
00:41:29,864 --> 00:41:32,741
Two-time All-Star.
Best player on my fantasy team.

932
00:41:32,825 --> 00:41:33,992
Fuck you, Butler!

933
00:41:34,243 --> 00:41:36,411
I don't know why I said that. Fuck.

934
00:41:36,579 --> 00:41:37,639
These are great. You know what?

935
00:41:37,663 --> 00:41:40,248
Why don't you give me your number
and I'll text these to you.

936
00:41:40,583 --> 00:41:41,917
Excuse me. Hey. Hi.

937
00:41:42,084 --> 00:41:44,085
- Jimmy, hey, this is Josh.
- Hey. How you doing?

938
00:41:44,253 --> 00:41:45,504
So you the big man around here?

939
00:41:45,588 --> 00:41:48,048
I'm not that big, no.
I'm feeling small right now.

940
00:41:48,132 --> 00:41:49,758
Look at this. Good for you.

941
00:41:50,092 --> 00:41:51,259
Here's the big man!

942
00:41:51,344 --> 00:41:52,719
Jimmy Buckets. Clay vanstone.

943
00:41:52,804 --> 00:41:54,406
Thanks for coming
to our Christmas party, man.

944
00:41:54,430 --> 00:41:57,390
Of course. I've been trying to expand
the Jimmy Butler empire

945
00:41:57,558 --> 00:41:58,558
into the tech space.

946
00:41:58,643 --> 00:42:00,123
I'm thinking Jimmy Butler dating app.

947
00:42:00,228 --> 00:42:02,062
- Maybe Butlerbook?
- I like it.

948
00:42:02,230 --> 00:42:04,105
- Jimmyface?
- These are all good ideas.

949
00:42:04,273 --> 00:42:06,376
Do you want to see the first
processor that we ever made?

950
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,520
It's as big as a mini-fridge
and it used to set fires.

951
00:42:08,861 --> 00:42:10,214
It's upstairs with the good tequila.

952
00:42:10,238 --> 00:42:11,321
- Of course.
- Casamigos.

953
00:42:11,405 --> 00:42:12,447
I'll save some for you.

954
00:42:12,698 --> 00:42:15,909
Geek yourself out!
He's really into technology.

955
00:42:16,244 --> 00:42:18,995
Will you remind me, how do you know
Jimmy Butler again?

956
00:42:19,163 --> 00:42:21,248
Remember, I told you my friend
does PR for the Bulls?

957
00:42:21,415 --> 00:42:22,999
- Yes! Yeah.
- Right.

958
00:42:23,751 --> 00:42:25,752
I thought that bringing
a famous basketball player

959
00:42:25,837 --> 00:42:26,920
would help with Walter.

960
00:42:27,129 --> 00:42:28,463
You're cool with that, right?

961
00:42:29,549 --> 00:42:31,443
Why wouldn't I be cool?
It's the greatest idea in the world.

962
00:42:31,467 --> 00:42:32,551
Of course I'm cool.

963
00:42:32,635 --> 00:42:34,135
- Very cool. Please.
- Okay.

964
00:42:34,220 --> 00:42:36,137
Yeah. Mr. Cool.
I graduated valedictorian

965
00:42:36,264 --> 00:42:37,931
from Cool University!

966
00:42:38,140 --> 00:42:40,141
Good old CU.

967
00:42:42,687 --> 00:42:43,687
Okay.

968
00:42:43,771 --> 00:42:45,105
"CU" later!

969
00:42:46,357 --> 00:42:47,649
Josh.

970
00:43:08,921 --> 00:43:09,921
Savannah?

971
00:43:10,339 --> 00:43:12,173
I think you mean Becca, right?

972
00:43:13,968 --> 00:43:16,303
I'm gonna be honest,
I've never done this before.

973
00:43:16,470 --> 00:43:19,472
Although my mom and I have watched
Pretty Woman, like, a million times.

974
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:22,767
I love that movie! It's why I'm doing this.

975
00:43:24,145 --> 00:43:25,145
Yeah.

976
00:43:26,314 --> 00:43:27,564
It feels kind of dirty.

977
00:43:27,773 --> 00:43:28,982
You feel dirty?

978
00:43:29,108 --> 00:43:31,276
You're my third client tonight.
It's only 9:00 p.m.

979
00:43:31,694 --> 00:43:32,694
Really?

980
00:43:32,987 --> 00:43:37,073
So, you just have to pay my manager,
and then we're, like, good.

981
00:43:37,158 --> 00:43:38,283
Yeah...

982
00:43:39,118 --> 00:43:40,410
Got it right here.

983
00:43:40,494 --> 00:43:41,995
Hi. Nate.

984
00:43:54,258 --> 00:43:55,425
- Nate?
- Yeah.

985
00:43:55,509 --> 00:43:56,801
Hi, I'm Trina.

986
00:43:57,136 --> 00:44:00,347
I don't do handshakes, I do hugs.
Get in here. Yeah.

987
00:44:01,015 --> 00:44:04,517
Oh, my gosh, you guys are gonna have
so much fun tonight. I can feel it.

988
00:44:04,685 --> 00:44:06,125
- You're already a couple.
- Hope so.

989
00:44:06,187 --> 00:44:07,187
Already.

990
00:44:07,271 --> 00:44:08,605
- Is this for me?
- Yes, ma'am.

991
00:44:08,689 --> 00:44:12,067
Oh, my gosh. Look at him.
Prepared. I love that.

992
00:44:12,151 --> 00:44:14,319
I'm not even gonna count it.
You know why?

993
00:44:14,528 --> 00:44:16,363
- 'Cause we're friends, right?
- Yeah.

994
00:44:17,198 --> 00:44:18,490
Yeah, we're not fucking friends.

995
00:44:18,574 --> 00:44:19,574
Oh, my God.

996
00:44:19,867 --> 00:44:21,868
So if you're thinking of fucking with me,

997
00:44:21,994 --> 00:44:24,204
or with my girl, don't.

998
00:44:24,538 --> 00:44:26,956
Because I'm hella
stressed out right now.

999
00:44:27,208 --> 00:44:29,376
This week has been
a scheduling nightmare!

1000
00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:31,044
My iCal crashed,

1001
00:44:31,128 --> 00:44:33,755
and now all my appointments
are set in 2019.

1002
00:44:33,923 --> 00:44:35,006
And in Hebrew.

1003
00:44:35,299 --> 00:44:37,459
It's a flawed program.
I've been saying this for years.

1004
00:44:37,510 --> 00:44:39,135
- Shut up.
- Shit.

1005
00:44:39,428 --> 00:44:40,887
My point is,

1006
00:44:41,222 --> 00:44:44,224
if one more person pisses me off...
One more...

1007
00:44:44,558 --> 00:44:46,184
I don't know what's gonna happen.

1008
00:44:47,395 --> 00:44:49,020
I don't know what I'm gonna do.

1009
00:44:49,438 --> 00:44:50,772
We're clear?

1010
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:54,109
Okay, so now, just have a good time.

1011
00:44:54,610 --> 00:44:57,612
If you use handcuffs,
have a spare key, okay?

1012
00:44:57,988 --> 00:45:00,615
Jesus, we do not want to go
through Thanksgiving again.

1013
00:45:01,242 --> 00:45:03,868
Hey, if you need me in the next hour,
I'll be at Whole Foods.

1014
00:45:03,953 --> 00:45:04,953
Okay.

1015
00:45:05,579 --> 00:45:07,372
Alexei, open my fucking door!

1016
00:45:07,832 --> 00:45:10,250
Come on.
Let's go meet your friends. Yeah?

1017
00:45:10,459 --> 00:45:11,918
I can close it myself!

1018
00:45:12,628 --> 00:45:15,046
I'm a woman in 2016. Jesus.

1019
00:45:15,923 --> 00:45:18,466
Yeah! Zenotek! We up in this bitch.

1020
00:45:18,551 --> 00:45:20,593
Hey, play some Huey Lewis.

1021
00:45:20,678 --> 00:45:21,761
The solo stuff.

1022
00:45:21,846 --> 00:45:24,264
I'm not playing Huey Lewis.
Man, look, this party is dying.

1023
00:45:24,348 --> 00:45:26,015
That's why you play Huey Lewis.

1024
00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:27,119
- It's not...
- The solo stuff.

1025
00:45:27,143 --> 00:45:29,853
They're going to sleep. Huey Lewis!
The solo stuff!

1026
00:45:29,937 --> 00:45:31,396
Giving presents.

1027
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:33,940
Okay, Clay, incoming.
I just got a text from Carla.

1028
00:45:34,024 --> 00:45:35,377
Walter's on his way up. This is it.

1029
00:45:35,401 --> 00:45:38,046
Okay, okay. So we need an employee
to sit on my lap right when he comes up.

1030
00:45:38,070 --> 00:45:39,256
A cheerful one. Definitely not Jeremy.

1031
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:40,447
Sure, great plan.

1032
00:45:40,531 --> 00:45:42,634
Great. Good, good. Here.
You try and get this on, Triffany.

1033
00:45:42,658 --> 00:45:44,576
Okay, so you're clear
on our backstory, right?

1034
00:45:44,660 --> 00:45:48,246
We met in New York, you had a seizure,
you fell onto the train tracks,

1035
00:45:48,330 --> 00:45:51,332
I jumped on top of you,
then I pressed my body onto yours

1036
00:45:51,417 --> 00:45:53,126
so that the train passed over us.

1037
00:45:54,003 --> 00:45:55,003
Yeah, okay.

1038
00:45:55,921 --> 00:45:57,630
Ma'am, we're not zoned for livestock.

1039
00:45:57,715 --> 00:45:59,776
Please put the horse in
Conference Room C and lock the door.

1040
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:01,468
I love your dress.

1041
00:46:01,552 --> 00:46:03,887
Thank you. l... l knitted it myself.

1042
00:46:03,971 --> 00:46:06,347
It was a sweater vest that just
didn't know when to quit.

1043
00:46:07,850 --> 00:46:09,517
Mary, this is my girlfriend.

1044
00:46:10,770 --> 00:46:12,687
Okay. Well, have a good time

1045
00:46:12,772 --> 00:46:15,732
and maybe the skirt and the shirt
can meet each other.

1046
00:46:15,858 --> 00:46:16,858
Okay.

1047
00:46:18,944 --> 00:46:21,362
Oh, my God, you look great.

1048
00:46:22,531 --> 00:46:23,782
Hey, Walter!

1049
00:46:23,991 --> 00:46:25,391
- Welcome to Zenotek.
- How are you?

1050
00:46:25,493 --> 00:46:26,618
I'm so glad you came.

1051
00:46:26,702 --> 00:46:28,013
Good to see you. Can I take your coat?

1052
00:46:28,037 --> 00:46:29,681
- No, no, I'm good, actually.
- You sure? Okay.

1053
00:46:29,705 --> 00:46:31,683
All right. Walt, what would
you like to get started with?

1054
00:46:31,707 --> 00:46:32,851
You know, we got a photo booth.

1055
00:46:32,875 --> 00:46:35,001
It's like getting your
picture taken in a tiny house.

1056
00:46:35,085 --> 00:46:36,085
We love it.

1057
00:46:36,712 --> 00:46:38,129
Jimmy Butler is here!

1058
00:46:38,214 --> 00:46:41,216
- Jimmy Butler from the Bulls is here.
- What? Come on! Where is he?

1059
00:46:41,467 --> 00:46:43,236
Do you want to take a selfie with him?
Everyone's doin' it.

1060
00:46:43,260 --> 00:46:45,470
You know, I'm a Cavs fan, actually.

1061
00:46:45,554 --> 00:46:46,638
There's a good team.

1062
00:46:46,722 --> 00:46:48,116
- This was a mistake.
- Hang on. Hang on.

1063
00:46:48,140 --> 00:46:49,390
No, no, no. Come on.

1064
00:46:49,475 --> 00:46:51,893
Now, a mistake would be
to miss the salmon station.

1065
00:46:51,977 --> 00:46:52,977
Do you like salmon?

1066
00:46:53,395 --> 00:46:56,314
You want to swim upstream with me
and go try some salmon?

1067
00:46:57,233 --> 00:46:58,274
What does that even mean?

1068
00:46:58,609 --> 00:47:00,295
You know what?
Let's start with a drink. Come on.

1069
00:47:00,319 --> 00:47:02,987
Yeah. Are you thirsty?
Clay, you want a drink with Walter?

1070
00:47:03,531 --> 00:47:05,198
One vibrator, please.

1071
00:47:05,741 --> 00:47:07,075
Okay. Here you go.

1072
00:47:07,660 --> 00:47:10,245
- It's really a body massager.
- No, it's a vibrator.

1073
00:47:11,121 --> 00:47:12,330
Hey, Josh!

1074
00:47:12,790 --> 00:47:16,000
Hey, Jeremy. This is Jeremy,
our customer service manager.

1075
00:47:16,293 --> 00:47:18,461
Hi, nice to meet you.
Mary just fucking cited me!

1076
00:47:18,546 --> 00:47:19,921
Okay? I thought this was a party.

1077
00:47:20,005 --> 00:47:22,590
If I want to dick tap Alan,
I'm gonna dick tap Alan.

1078
00:47:22,716 --> 00:47:23,842
That's a timeless gag!

1079
00:47:23,968 --> 00:47:25,718
- Never not funny!
- Okay, off you go.

1080
00:47:25,886 --> 00:47:29,806
She is like a poisonous
fucking cloud of shit gas,

1081
00:47:30,140 --> 00:47:33,059
like, just seeping into
everybody's good time.

1082
00:47:33,227 --> 00:47:37,063
Every word she says makes
my fucking hemorrhoids throb!

1083
00:47:37,398 --> 00:47:39,816
- I want that on the record.
- It is.

1084
00:47:40,150 --> 00:47:41,442
He's in customer service?

1085
00:47:41,527 --> 00:47:42,838
Yeah, he's much better on the phone.

1086
00:47:42,862 --> 00:47:44,502
That's really where he shines.
Here we go.

1087
00:47:44,655 --> 00:47:46,823
Hey, can we get a scotch?
Macallan, right?

1088
00:47:47,157 --> 00:47:49,868
No, dude. It's the eggnog luge. Sorry.

1089
00:47:50,119 --> 00:47:52,412
Just the eggnog. Okay. Great. Well...

1090
00:47:52,496 --> 00:47:54,205
Looks like fun. Ladies first.

1091
00:47:54,373 --> 00:47:57,333
- Josh, I insist. After you.
- Well, I'm not much on eggnog.

1092
00:47:57,543 --> 00:47:58,854
Don't listen to this guy. He's Mr. Fun.

1093
00:47:58,878 --> 00:48:01,170
He'll do anything for the party.
So, come on!

1094
00:48:01,338 --> 00:48:04,007
Hey, everybody!
Josh is gonna do the luge!

1095
00:48:04,174 --> 00:48:07,010
No, no. I don't think so. It's not for me.

1096
00:48:07,344 --> 00:48:10,013
Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh!

1097
00:48:10,306 --> 00:48:12,223
It looks like they want you to do it.

1098
00:48:12,308 --> 00:48:14,225
Should I do it? I'll do it.

1099
00:48:14,310 --> 00:48:16,644
I'll do it, I'll do it. Okay, let's do it.

1100
00:48:17,021 --> 00:48:19,188
This the luge right here? Here we go.

1101
00:48:19,648 --> 00:48:21,900
Here we go... Oh, boy.

1102
00:48:34,747 --> 00:48:35,747
God.

1103
00:48:37,666 --> 00:48:39,959
Okay, Walter, your turn.

1104
00:48:40,044 --> 00:48:41,044
Where'd Walter go?

1105
00:48:41,086 --> 00:48:42,397
I totally got you deep throating him.

1106
00:48:42,421 --> 00:48:43,963
Well, look at that. That's beautiful.

1107
00:48:44,048 --> 00:48:46,507
Where'd Walter go?
Clay, did you see Walter?

1108
00:48:46,592 --> 00:48:48,236
I don't know about
that whole throne thing.

1109
00:48:48,260 --> 00:48:49,500
I mean, nobody liked the gifts,

1110
00:48:49,553 --> 00:48:51,804
everybody was complaining
and the lap-sitting got weird.

1111
00:48:51,889 --> 00:48:53,014
No.

1112
00:48:53,098 --> 00:48:54,098
What's happening?

1113
00:48:54,224 --> 00:48:55,433
Well, it's just not working.

1114
00:48:55,517 --> 00:48:57,704
If you took away everybody's drinks
and turned up the lights,

1115
00:48:57,728 --> 00:48:59,748
it just looks like we're at work.
You know what I mean?

1116
00:48:59,772 --> 00:49:00,772
We need to get amped up.

1117
00:49:00,856 --> 00:49:02,523
We need to get them interacting.

1118
00:49:02,608 --> 00:49:04,544
You guys should do what
you did at the party last year.

1119
00:49:04,568 --> 00:49:05,902
No. Not doing that. Come on.

1120
00:49:06,070 --> 00:49:07,153
No, that was lame.

1121
00:49:07,321 --> 00:49:09,132
No, no, it was fucking awesome!
People loved it!

1122
00:49:09,156 --> 00:49:10,323
It wasn't. And they didn't.

1123
00:49:10,491 --> 00:49:11,991
Do it for the company. All right?

1124
00:49:12,159 --> 00:49:14,327
I'm gonna go give Walter
party mouth-to-mouth.

1125
00:49:15,412 --> 00:49:16,579
Is he crying?

1126
00:49:16,747 --> 00:49:17,974
I wanted to give you this pamphlet

1127
00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:19,398
which has a lot of good information

1128
00:49:19,458 --> 00:49:21,834
about the signs and symptoms
of sadness.

1129
00:49:22,294 --> 00:49:23,378
When I'm sad,

1130
00:49:23,462 --> 00:49:26,130
I like to remember something
my grandma used to sing.

1131
00:49:31,971 --> 00:49:33,012
It's about ducklings.

1132
00:49:36,433 --> 00:49:39,102
Mary, you wore a blue coat, right?

1133
00:49:39,186 --> 00:49:40,937
- No, I wore my beige poof.
- That's it.

1134
00:49:41,105 --> 00:49:42,165
It's probably not a big deal,

1135
00:49:42,189 --> 00:49:44,190
but I saw Meghan rifling
through all the pockets.

1136
00:49:44,358 --> 00:49:47,110
No, no, no, no.
My Bath & Body Works coupons!

1137
00:49:47,444 --> 00:49:49,362
Walter. Clay vanstone, remember?

1138
00:49:49,446 --> 00:49:50,530
- Hey.
- How are you?

1139
00:49:50,614 --> 00:49:53,574
- I want to show you Zenotek.
- Yes.

1140
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:13,386
You're a very expressive dancer.

1141
00:50:13,595 --> 00:50:15,138
Thanks. Let me know if you want me

1142
00:50:15,222 --> 00:50:17,640
to dance, like,
sexy or something, you know?

1143
00:50:17,725 --> 00:50:19,058
- Yeah. No, we're good.
- Okay.

1144
00:50:19,143 --> 00:50:20,143
What the fuck?

1145
00:50:21,353 --> 00:50:24,105
Hey, there's actually some
guys I want you to meet.

1146
00:50:24,189 --> 00:50:25,189
Okay, great.

1147
00:50:25,274 --> 00:50:27,335
Let's just work out the money
thing first, though, yeah?

1148
00:50:27,359 --> 00:50:29,402
I already gave Trina $200.

1149
00:50:29,486 --> 00:50:31,029
Yeah, that's just for the first hour.

1150
00:50:31,113 --> 00:50:33,990
If you want me for the rest of the night,
it's gonna be another $2,000.

1151
00:50:34,158 --> 00:50:36,826
- Two grand? No. No way.
- Yeah.

1152
00:50:36,994 --> 00:50:40,246
The website clearly said
it was $200 for the whole night.

1153
00:50:40,414 --> 00:50:42,582
Do I look like I'm $200 a night?

1154
00:50:43,292 --> 00:50:45,376
Okay, fine. I'll go to an ATM, okay?

1155
00:50:45,669 --> 00:50:48,148
- Okay. Give me your watch as collateral.
- It's my grandmother's.

1156
00:50:48,172 --> 00:50:49,213
I don't care.

1157
00:50:49,298 --> 00:50:50,381
Shit.

1158
00:50:58,307 --> 00:50:59,307
Holy shit.

1159
00:51:00,017 --> 00:51:03,352
That was just how daddy likes it.

1160
00:51:04,646 --> 00:51:05,730
Check it out.

1161
00:51:06,231 --> 00:51:07,690
You're a fireman.

1162
00:51:10,110 --> 00:51:12,945
Must be really nice to have
a daycare center at work.

1163
00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:15,239
Yeah, yeah.
Clay set this up when I was pregnant.

1164
00:51:15,407 --> 00:51:17,927
I think he just wanted an excuse
to have Play-Doh in the office.

1165
00:51:18,911 --> 00:51:20,536
Shall we?

1166
00:51:24,041 --> 00:51:25,291
You are such a good mom.

1167
00:51:26,668 --> 00:51:27,668
Thanks.

1168
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:31,464
I bet you'd make me
finish all my homework

1169
00:51:31,548 --> 00:51:33,257
before I could go outside and play.

1170
00:51:33,509 --> 00:51:36,344
Yeah, especially
if you were being naughty.

1171
00:51:36,845 --> 00:51:38,346
Do I need to be punished?

1172
00:51:38,806 --> 00:51:40,932
Well, I guess that depends
on your homework.

1173
00:51:47,189 --> 00:51:48,314
I bet you'd make me

1174
00:51:48,398 --> 00:51:50,691
brush my teeth
so I don't get any cavities.

1175
00:51:51,944 --> 00:51:53,986
We're still doing this. Okay.

1176
00:51:57,908 --> 00:51:59,367
I've been a bad boy, Mommy.

1177
00:51:59,451 --> 00:52:01,953
Okay, do you have
some kind of weird fetish?

1178
00:52:02,329 --> 00:52:03,996
What? No!

1179
00:52:04,331 --> 00:52:05,892
No, I'm so sorry,
I didn't mean to give you

1180
00:52:05,916 --> 00:52:08,501
that impression. I just got carried away.

1181
00:52:08,752 --> 00:52:10,753
I just really like you.

1182
00:52:11,088 --> 00:52:12,755
Yeah. I really like you, too.

1183
00:52:24,017 --> 00:52:25,685
Something's happening in my diaper.

1184
00:52:25,769 --> 00:52:27,520
Okay. Fuck this. I got to go.

1185
00:52:27,688 --> 00:52:28,832
- This is my nightmare.
- What?

1186
00:52:28,856 --> 00:52:30,857
- So, yes, I'm in hell.
- No...

1187
00:52:30,941 --> 00:52:32,441
- So I'm gonna go.
- Mommy!

1188
00:52:32,609 --> 00:52:33,776
I mean, Allison. Don't leave.

1189
00:52:34,319 --> 00:52:37,947
Save that shit for the
fourth date like a normal person!

1190
00:52:41,827 --> 00:52:42,827
Sorry.

1191
00:52:47,166 --> 00:52:49,417
All right, Nate, this is what
you've been saving for.

1192
00:52:51,587 --> 00:52:52,753
Who designed this?

1193
00:52:52,838 --> 00:52:53,838
Come on!

1194
00:52:55,048 --> 00:52:56,883
Shit! Fuck me!

1195
00:52:58,844 --> 00:52:59,844
Shit.

1196
00:53:02,014 --> 00:53:03,014
Yes.

1197
00:53:09,354 --> 00:53:11,314
I'm okay! Merry Christmas!

1198
00:53:15,235 --> 00:53:16,277
Okay. You ready?

1199
00:53:17,821 --> 00:53:19,238
Okay, you look ridiculous.

1200
00:53:21,074 --> 00:53:22,742
Is it the hat?

1201
00:53:26,914 --> 00:53:29,081
Hey. Merry Christmas, everybody!

1202
00:53:29,416 --> 00:53:31,709
Who's happy about the holidays?

1203
00:53:38,175 --> 00:53:39,383
Okay. Okay.

1204
00:54:08,288 --> 00:54:11,374
Hey, so, you dickheads
want to buy some cocaine?

1205
00:54:12,084 --> 00:54:13,918
Yeah! We'll do that.

1206
00:54:14,211 --> 00:54:15,878
One cocaine. Want to do it with us?

1207
00:54:19,758 --> 00:54:21,592
Yeah! Yeah!

1208
00:54:25,639 --> 00:54:27,640
I believe in taking risks, Walter.

1209
00:54:27,808 --> 00:54:30,142
Zenotek, my company,
believes in taking risks.

1210
00:54:30,310 --> 00:54:31,371
You know what we should do tonight?

1211
00:54:31,395 --> 00:54:32,455
We should do something that scares us.

1212
00:54:32,479 --> 00:54:33,562
Makes us feel alive!

1213
00:54:35,065 --> 00:54:36,065
Do you think you could

1214
00:54:36,191 --> 00:54:38,031
swing across the dance floor
with those lights?

1215
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:39,360
What's that?

1216
00:54:39,695 --> 00:54:41,529
Like, if you grabbed every single strand,

1217
00:54:41,697 --> 00:54:42,715
do you think that you could swing

1218
00:54:42,739 --> 00:54:44,842
and then time it just right
and grab all of those strands,

1219
00:54:44,866 --> 00:54:47,159
then, like Tarzan,
make it all the way to my office?

1220
00:54:47,244 --> 00:54:48,703
Merry fucking Christmas.

1221
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:51,414
You know what?

1222
00:54:51,581 --> 00:54:54,166
This has been really great,
and I thank you, but,

1223
00:54:54,334 --> 00:54:55,835
it's time to hit the road.

1224
00:54:57,212 --> 00:54:59,372
You can't leave yet,
'cause we're just getting started!

1225
00:55:22,154 --> 00:55:25,031
Hey! You got snow machined.
That's meant to be lucky.

1226
00:55:25,115 --> 00:55:26,198
It tastes bitter.

1227
00:55:26,283 --> 00:55:28,576
It's just paper products.
Let's get you cleaned up.

1228
00:55:28,660 --> 00:55:30,619
Great, great.
So I guess we'll just take two

1229
00:55:30,704 --> 00:55:31,848
and call you in the morning, then?

1230
00:55:31,872 --> 00:55:34,040
- Is that...
- Yeah, don't call me.

1231
00:55:34,124 --> 00:55:36,000
You on Snapchat?

1232
00:55:37,210 --> 00:55:40,796
We'll be up here
if you want to come back up here.

1233
00:55:41,673 --> 00:55:42,798
- I need some air.
- Yeah?

1234
00:55:42,883 --> 00:55:44,967
Also I have your Secret Santa.

1235
00:55:45,302 --> 00:55:46,510
Okay.

1236
00:55:48,805 --> 00:55:50,306
What are you doing?

1237
00:55:50,390 --> 00:55:51,724
Pissing off Mary.

1238
00:55:51,808 --> 00:55:55,770
♪ GreatestPartyEver. ♪OpenBar.

1239
00:55:55,854 --> 00:55:56,979
How do you spell "Hanukkah"?

1240
00:55:57,064 --> 00:55:58,981
Wait, who are you sending that to?

1241
00:55:59,066 --> 00:56:01,233
You know, everyone in Chicago.

1242
00:56:04,237 --> 00:56:06,364
- You've never been up here?
- No.

1243
00:56:06,823 --> 00:56:09,992
This is where I am during
the sexual harassment seminars.

1244
00:56:10,535 --> 00:56:11,994
It's beautiful.

1245
00:56:13,872 --> 00:56:15,998
It's colder up here for sure.

1246
00:56:16,583 --> 00:56:18,167
And it's...

1247
00:56:18,877 --> 00:56:20,503
Man, it's higher.

1248
00:56:21,505 --> 00:56:22,505
That's...

1249
00:56:22,589 --> 00:56:24,423
Maybe let's go... Let's go lower.

1250
00:56:25,008 --> 00:56:26,217
And warmer. Come on.

1251
00:56:29,846 --> 00:56:31,847
No. No, it never locks.

1252
00:56:32,349 --> 00:56:34,475
Wait, no. It never locks!

1253
00:56:34,976 --> 00:56:36,662
I bet you're also never up here
at night, right?

1254
00:56:36,686 --> 00:56:37,853
No.

1255
00:56:37,979 --> 00:56:40,147
It's all right, I came prepared.

1256
00:56:42,192 --> 00:56:43,359
So did l.

1257
00:56:43,443 --> 00:56:44,902
Your Secret Santa.

1258
00:56:44,986 --> 00:56:47,279
That's a lot better than
where I'm keeping mine.

1259
00:56:50,450 --> 00:56:51,450
Excuse me. Mr. vanstone?

1260
00:56:51,618 --> 00:56:53,536
- Have you seen this?
- Hi. I'm Rodney.

1261
00:56:54,121 --> 00:56:56,372
We haven't met yet. I'm an intern here.

1262
00:56:56,456 --> 00:56:58,791
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas.

1263
00:56:58,875 --> 00:57:00,584
Yes, you can have a job.

1264
00:57:00,669 --> 00:57:02,146
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, party hire.

1265
00:57:02,170 --> 00:57:03,421
Junior associate. Congrats.

1266
00:57:03,505 --> 00:57:05,381
Oh, my God. Mr. vanstone, thank you!

1267
00:57:06,049 --> 00:57:07,329
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.

1268
00:57:07,384 --> 00:57:08,926
- Oh, my God. Yes?
- Hey, Rodney!

1269
00:57:09,553 --> 00:57:10,928
We're gonna get you a new name.

1270
00:57:11,012 --> 00:57:12,304
Done! I'll call my parents.

1271
00:57:12,639 --> 00:57:14,974
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

1272
00:57:15,058 --> 00:57:16,142
Hey. You okay?

1273
00:57:16,226 --> 00:57:17,977
I was down. I was having a bad day.

1274
00:57:18,061 --> 00:57:20,479
But now I'm lifting.
I'm seeing things. My mind.

1275
00:57:20,564 --> 00:57:22,565
The ideas are flying through my mind!

1276
00:57:22,649 --> 00:57:24,442
- I'm feeling strong.
- Okay, good.

1277
00:57:25,152 --> 00:57:26,986
- High five.
- Sure.

1278
00:57:28,405 --> 00:57:30,739
You can't keep Walter Davis
down forever, baby!

1279
00:57:34,494 --> 00:57:36,180
- Let's go get fucked up.
- Okay, but not too much.

1280
00:57:36,204 --> 00:57:37,682
When I drink a lot, bad things happen.

1281
00:57:37,706 --> 00:57:39,415
You know,
my sister's horse goes missing.

1282
00:57:39,499 --> 00:57:41,375
My car is covered
in horse hair and blood.

1283
00:57:41,460 --> 00:57:42,668
Fingers get pointed.

1284
00:57:42,752 --> 00:57:45,296
Smoke PCP as a favor.
Beach burns down.

1285
00:57:45,380 --> 00:57:46,797
That ain't never been my problem.

1286
00:57:46,882 --> 00:57:49,175
Come on! Let's go get a drink! Yeah!

1287
00:57:49,593 --> 00:57:51,051
Shit!

1288
00:58:30,258 --> 00:58:32,760
We're expecting blizzard conditions
for 12 to 24 hours...

1289
00:58:32,844 --> 00:58:33,886
Just get me on a plane.

1290
00:58:33,970 --> 00:58:35,281
Get me on any god damn plane,
all right?

1291
00:58:35,305 --> 00:58:37,431
I have enough miles to orbit the sun.

1292
00:58:37,516 --> 00:58:38,993
I'm sorry, ma'am.
All flights are grounded

1293
00:58:39,017 --> 00:58:40,017
until the snow clears.

1294
00:58:40,101 --> 00:58:41,310
There's nothing more I can do.

1295
00:58:41,394 --> 00:58:43,562
Well, refer me to someone
who can do something.

1296
00:58:43,647 --> 00:58:45,272
That would be God, ma'am.

1297
00:58:45,941 --> 00:58:47,149
Her.

1298
00:58:48,777 --> 00:58:50,110
Have a great holiday.

1299
00:58:50,195 --> 00:58:51,195
Shit.

1300
00:58:59,162 --> 00:59:00,287
Did you eat my Cinnabon?

1301
00:59:01,915 --> 00:59:03,082
No.

1302
00:59:04,167 --> 00:59:05,709
Where's your mother?

1303
00:59:05,794 --> 00:59:07,336
Bathroom.

1304
00:59:09,339 --> 00:59:12,258
- What's your name, sweetie?
- Darcy.

1305
00:59:17,222 --> 00:59:18,222
Hi, Santa.

1306
00:59:18,932 --> 00:59:22,184
Yes, Carol vanstone.
I'm here with Darcy.

1307
00:59:23,103 --> 00:59:24,603
I know. Terrible name.

1308
00:59:25,355 --> 00:59:28,607
And she's being a little shit here
in the first class lounge.

1309
00:59:28,692 --> 00:59:32,695
So I think we should cancel
all of her Christmas presents this year.

1310
00:59:33,029 --> 00:59:36,949
Yeah. And while she's asleep,
why don't you take that doll, too.

1311
00:59:37,033 --> 00:59:38,367
Great. Bye.

1312
00:59:38,785 --> 00:59:40,145
May I have your attention, please.

1313
00:59:40,370 --> 00:59:42,610
Due to inclement weather,
all flights have been canceled.

1314
00:59:42,914 --> 00:59:43,914
Shit!

1315
00:59:48,295 --> 00:59:49,795
Fuck you!

1316
00:59:55,552 --> 00:59:56,821
Zenotek, you having a good time now?

1317
00:59:56,845 --> 00:59:58,596
You ready to kick this up a notch?

1318
00:59:58,763 --> 01:00:01,015
Yeah!

1319
01:00:01,099 --> 01:00:02,349
Hit me with the horns, Calvis!

1320
01:00:03,393 --> 01:00:04,727
Old school.

1321
01:00:07,731 --> 01:00:09,189
Make some noise!

1322
01:00:11,192 --> 01:00:12,359
Yeah!

1323
01:00:16,031 --> 01:00:17,156
Here we go now!

1324
01:00:17,407 --> 01:00:19,491
Is this not the best fucking party
y'all been to?

1325
01:00:19,576 --> 01:00:20,826
Come on, now!

1326
01:00:20,910 --> 01:00:23,037
Here we go now!
Here we go now!

1327
01:00:23,246 --> 01:00:26,373
Here we go, here we go!
Let me clear my throat

1328
01:00:27,834 --> 01:00:29,585
Yeah, get on up here.

1329
01:00:29,669 --> 01:00:31,170
Give it up for Walter!
My main man!

1330
01:00:34,132 --> 01:00:35,174
God damn!

1331
01:00:35,300 --> 01:00:36,800
Get on up here, Mary!

1332
01:00:36,885 --> 01:00:39,678
Give me the mike. No, no, no.
Give me the mike.

1333
01:00:39,763 --> 01:00:41,055
Give it up for Mary!

1334
01:00:41,139 --> 01:00:43,182
Mary, everybody, yeah!

1335
01:00:44,142 --> 01:00:45,225
You got to stop.

1336
01:00:45,310 --> 01:00:47,353
When I say H, you say R

1337
01:00:47,437 --> 01:00:49,480
- H! H!
- R! R!

1338
01:00:49,564 --> 01:00:52,024
When I say H, you say R

1339
01:00:52,108 --> 01:00:54,234
- H! H!
- R! R!

1340
01:00:54,319 --> 01:00:56,570
And when she says H, you say R

1341
01:00:56,655 --> 01:00:58,989
- H! H!
- R! R!

1342
01:00:59,074 --> 01:01:01,283
Yeah!

1343
01:01:03,787 --> 01:01:05,704
If y'all want to party like we do

1344
01:01:05,789 --> 01:01:07,539
If y'all want to party like us

1345
01:01:07,624 --> 01:01:10,626
Let me hear you say...

1346
01:01:12,962 --> 01:01:14,755
If y'all want to party like we do

1347
01:01:15,131 --> 01:01:16,674
If y'all want to party like us

1348
01:01:16,758 --> 01:01:19,968
Let me hear you say...

1349
01:01:22,263 --> 01:01:24,765
Okay, that's part of it. Yeah!

1350
01:01:26,184 --> 01:01:27,685
She's what makes this company great,

1351
01:01:27,811 --> 01:01:30,479
just like every motherfucker in here!

1352
01:01:31,648 --> 01:01:33,941
When I say freeze, y'all freeze one time

1353
01:01:34,025 --> 01:01:35,359
Freeze!

1354
01:01:37,487 --> 01:01:39,321
Now let me clear my throat

1355
01:01:39,823 --> 01:01:42,157
Special dedication
Going out to all the ladies

1356
01:01:42,283 --> 01:01:43,659
And all the brothers in here!

1357
01:01:43,993 --> 01:01:46,662
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

1358
01:02:01,469 --> 01:02:03,262
This is fun, right?

1359
01:02:03,346 --> 01:02:07,015
This has turned from charming
into life-threatening.

1360
01:02:08,351 --> 01:02:11,395
I cannot believe that
they are still not responding.

1361
01:02:12,188 --> 01:02:13,897
At least my death will give my parents

1362
01:02:13,982 --> 01:02:15,982
something to talk about
at the meal I'm gonna miss.

1363
01:02:16,151 --> 01:02:17,911
- Going to your parents' place?
- Every year.

1364
01:02:18,361 --> 01:02:21,697
This is where not having any family
actually pays off.

1365
01:02:21,865 --> 01:02:23,574
I get the whole city to myself.

1366
01:02:24,033 --> 01:02:25,793
It's like some kind of
awesome plague came in

1367
01:02:25,869 --> 01:02:27,995
and spared only me
and the Chinese restaurants.

1368
01:02:28,413 --> 01:02:29,747
This is useless.

1369
01:02:29,873 --> 01:02:31,749
You gonna be solo?

1370
01:02:31,833 --> 01:02:33,352
There's not gonna be
a stocking on your mantel

1371
01:02:33,376 --> 01:02:35,127
for Jimmy Butler at your place?

1372
01:02:37,213 --> 01:02:39,131
- What are you doing?
- Nothing?

1373
01:02:39,549 --> 01:02:41,383
Just asking. You know?

1374
01:02:42,218 --> 01:02:43,469
You could have dated me, Josh.

1375
01:02:43,553 --> 01:02:44,928
But you freaked out and ran away.

1376
01:02:45,972 --> 01:02:49,016
I still had PTSD
from my marriage just ending, so...

1377
01:02:51,060 --> 01:02:52,728
You'd been separated for a year.

1378
01:02:54,564 --> 01:02:56,982
- I fucked up.
- Yeah.

1379
01:02:57,484 --> 01:02:59,151
Because you're an idiot.

1380
01:02:59,819 --> 01:03:01,069
I'm sorry.

1381
01:03:01,571 --> 01:03:04,448
I have been feeling shitty about it.

1382
01:03:12,665 --> 01:03:14,583
We should've done this
a long time ago.

1383
01:03:16,211 --> 01:03:17,753
- Yeah.
- Right?

1384
01:03:26,262 --> 01:03:27,513
Hey, Jeremy.

1385
01:03:28,056 --> 01:03:29,306
- Hey!
- Hey, man.

1386
01:03:29,390 --> 01:03:30,432
What's up, guys?

1387
01:03:31,684 --> 01:03:34,478
Good thing I wasn't
going number two, huh?

1388
01:03:34,562 --> 01:03:36,146
Yeah. Leave you to it.

1389
01:03:36,231 --> 01:03:38,899
- This is my territory!
- Got it. That's clear.

1390
01:03:41,319 --> 01:03:42,736
They can't shut us down!

1391
01:03:43,238 --> 01:03:45,239
We're never gonna get shut down!

1392
01:03:45,448 --> 01:03:47,866
When I say Zeno, you say Tek

1393
01:03:48,076 --> 01:03:50,118
- Zeno! Zeno!
- Tek! Tek!

1394
01:03:50,245 --> 01:03:52,371
When I say Zeno, you say Tek

1395
01:03:52,455 --> 01:03:54,748
- Zeno! Zeno!
- Tek! Tek!

1396
01:03:54,833 --> 01:03:56,708
When I say Zeno, you say Tek

1397
01:03:56,793 --> 01:03:59,002
It's a Christmas miracle.

1398
01:03:59,546 --> 01:04:01,713
When I say Zeno, you say Tek

1399
01:04:01,798 --> 01:04:04,132
- Zeno! Zeno!
- Tek! Tek!

1400
01:04:04,217 --> 01:04:06,301
When I say Zeno, you say Tek

1401
01:04:06,636 --> 01:04:08,971
- Zeno! Zeno!
- Tek! Tek!

1402
01:04:09,514 --> 01:04:11,765
I love this party!

1403
01:04:12,350 --> 01:04:14,935
I love this company!

1404
01:04:15,436 --> 01:04:18,272
And I want to work with you people!

1405
01:04:19,899 --> 01:04:22,860
What did he just say?
Did Clay just close Walter?

1406
01:04:23,653 --> 01:04:25,571
He really is Santa Claus.

1407
01:04:31,369 --> 01:04:32,703
Yeah!

1408
01:04:57,061 --> 01:04:58,687
So, Carol.

1409
01:04:58,771 --> 01:05:00,647
You know,
that's my grandmother's name.

1410
01:05:01,816 --> 01:05:04,276
- No, I did not know that.
- Yeah.

1411
01:05:05,486 --> 01:05:07,237
It's kind of an old-timey name.

1412
01:05:07,322 --> 01:05:10,824
Don't really hear Carol much anymore.

1413
01:05:11,910 --> 01:05:14,119
It's like, "Hi, I'm Carol.

1414
01:05:14,203 --> 01:05:17,205
"I gotta get home
before I miss my stories."

1415
01:05:17,540 --> 01:05:18,665
"Hi, I'm Carol.

1416
01:05:18,750 --> 01:05:21,710
"I heard about Pearl Harbor
on the radio."

1417
01:05:21,878 --> 01:05:25,797
"Hi, I'm Carol.
I died in the beginning of Up."

1418
01:05:26,925 --> 01:05:27,966
That movie?

1419
01:05:28,384 --> 01:05:30,469
Sorry, I'm just nervous.

1420
01:05:30,803 --> 01:05:34,640
My first night on the job.
On the ol' J-O-B.

1421
01:05:34,724 --> 01:05:35,868
- It's your first night?
- Yeah.

1422
01:05:35,892 --> 01:05:38,435
- Driving?
- First night driving the ol' Ubes.

1423
01:05:39,103 --> 01:05:41,772
It's a pretty sweet gig, though.
Make my own hours.

1424
01:05:41,898 --> 01:05:45,233
You know, I could hook you up
if you want to be an Uber driver.

1425
01:05:45,485 --> 01:05:47,525
I'm good. I already have a job.
Thank you very much.

1426
01:05:47,654 --> 01:05:50,822
Yeah, but you could be CEO
of your own car!

1427
01:05:51,157 --> 01:05:52,741
I am a CEO.

1428
01:05:52,825 --> 01:05:53,992
Of Uber?

1429
01:05:54,327 --> 01:05:57,245
Oh, my God. Is this UndercoverBoss?

1430
01:05:57,330 --> 01:05:58,497
Is that a camera?

1431
01:05:58,873 --> 01:06:01,166
Am I on... Are you wearing a disguise?

1432
01:06:01,250 --> 01:06:02,918
No. This is not UndercoverBoss.

1433
01:06:03,002 --> 01:06:04,711
I am not the CEO of Uber.

1434
01:06:04,796 --> 01:06:07,130
I am the CEO of Zenotek.
Please just drive.

1435
01:06:07,757 --> 01:06:12,719
No shit. I just dropped off, like,
four people there at that party tonight.

1436
01:06:13,846 --> 01:06:14,846
I'm sorry?

1437
01:06:14,931 --> 01:06:17,349
They gave me three stars
like a bunch of bitches.

1438
01:06:17,433 --> 01:06:18,934
Excuse me. What did you just say?

1439
01:06:19,018 --> 01:06:21,395
- I said they were bitches.
- No, no. What party?

1440
01:06:21,479 --> 01:06:24,439
The party at your office.
Everybody's like...

1441
01:06:24,774 --> 01:06:28,110
- You son of a bitch, Clay.
- Yeah, bunch of bitches!

1442
01:06:28,277 --> 01:06:29,861
Can you just...

1443
01:06:29,946 --> 01:06:32,114
Can you move? Move!

1444
01:06:39,747 --> 01:06:41,832
The English band, the Optic Monkeys?

1445
01:06:41,916 --> 01:06:43,435
You were supposed to see them
with your friend Lindsey,

1446
01:06:43,459 --> 01:06:45,604
you were like, "I can't go,"
because you couldn't get a babysitter?

1447
01:06:45,628 --> 01:06:46,920
Did you hack into my emails?

1448
01:06:47,964 --> 01:06:49,548
Get the fuck out of here.

1449
01:06:49,632 --> 01:06:51,717
And never use that British accent again.

1450
01:06:53,011 --> 01:06:54,594
Allison, are you okay?

1451
01:06:54,721 --> 01:06:56,722
No! I'm not okay.

1452
01:06:56,806 --> 01:06:59,057
My ex-husband is dating a stripper,

1453
01:06:59,142 --> 01:07:01,143
Drew is cyberstalking me,

1454
01:07:01,227 --> 01:07:04,855
and Fred from accounting
is like a human fucking AMBER Alert.

1455
01:07:04,939 --> 01:07:09,234
Don't I deserve to date
someone who is nice?

1456
01:07:09,318 --> 01:07:10,736
Of course you do.

1457
01:07:10,820 --> 01:07:13,238
Allison, you're an amazing person.

1458
01:07:13,322 --> 01:07:15,741
You basically take care
of this whole office.

1459
01:07:15,825 --> 01:07:16,867
And you do it every day,

1460
01:07:16,951 --> 01:07:18,869
even though most people
don't seem to notice.

1461
01:07:19,370 --> 01:07:22,748
So, yeah, you deserve someone nice.

1462
01:07:22,832 --> 01:07:25,250
Baby, I got your text.

1463
01:07:25,334 --> 01:07:27,085
I missed you.

1464
01:07:27,420 --> 01:07:28,920
Come on, let's dance.

1465
01:07:29,005 --> 01:07:31,006
Just hang in there.

1466
01:07:42,351 --> 01:07:44,811
Go, Rodney! Go, Rodney!

1467
01:07:53,362 --> 01:07:54,446
Nate!

1468
01:07:54,697 --> 01:07:58,450
Hey, man. Larry from shipping here
actually has a really great story

1469
01:07:58,534 --> 01:07:59,576
that he wants to tell you.

1470
01:07:59,660 --> 01:08:01,912
- I was in the bathroom washing my face.
- Yeah.

1471
01:08:01,996 --> 01:08:03,246
And this girl came in, like,

1472
01:08:03,331 --> 01:08:05,624
- "I'll give you a handy for $40."
- Right?

1473
01:08:05,833 --> 01:08:07,000
And the next thing I knew,

1474
01:08:07,084 --> 01:08:10,879
my penis was in her hand
and then she starts...

1475
01:08:11,547 --> 01:08:13,673
Okay, Larry,
I know how a hand job works.

1476
01:08:13,758 --> 01:08:15,383
I had no idea you guys were together.

1477
01:08:15,468 --> 01:08:16,968
Wait, what are you talking about?

1478
01:08:17,053 --> 01:08:20,472
So Becca gave Larry a hand job
in the men's room.

1479
01:08:20,765 --> 01:08:22,098
God damn it!

1480
01:08:24,811 --> 01:08:26,978
- I'm going next.
- Hey, girl!

1481
01:08:27,063 --> 01:08:29,189
I'm inspired! I'm going next.

1482
01:08:29,273 --> 01:08:32,275
- No, I called it. I called it.
- No, no, wait.

1483
01:08:32,735 --> 01:08:35,403
- I'm so happy for you!
- Shit.

1484
01:08:35,488 --> 01:08:37,155
I was about to do my balls!

1485
01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:39,991
Hey! What about the 3D printer?

1486
01:08:40,409 --> 01:08:41,743
- Yes. Yes!
- Yeah?

1487
01:08:41,828 --> 01:08:43,328
I'm going first, I'm going first!

1488
01:09:19,282 --> 01:09:21,283
Excuse me. Excuse me!

1489
01:09:21,617 --> 01:09:22,784
Excuse me.

1490
01:09:31,919 --> 01:09:33,795
Raise your hands
if you're keeping yourjobs!

1491
01:09:34,422 --> 01:09:36,182
Raise your hands
if you're gonna get a bonus!

1492
01:09:37,633 --> 01:09:38,884
Excuse me.

1493
01:09:39,135 --> 01:09:40,260
Clay?

1494
01:09:40,803 --> 01:09:41,803
Clay!

1495
01:09:42,597 --> 01:09:43,638
Fuck.

1496
01:09:43,973 --> 01:09:45,307
Hey, sis.

1497
01:09:45,558 --> 01:09:46,558
Hey, hey, hey.

1498
01:09:47,435 --> 01:09:49,079
Carol, before you get mad,
listen to what I did.

1499
01:09:49,103 --> 01:09:50,103
I said no party!

1500
01:09:50,354 --> 01:09:52,124
That's all I said.
All you had to do was nothing,

1501
01:09:52,148 --> 01:09:54,399
and you couldn't even do that!
Couldn't even do that!

1502
01:09:54,483 --> 01:09:55,984
Carol, Carol, Carol!

1503
01:09:56,319 --> 01:09:57,546
This is not what you think, okay?

1504
01:09:57,570 --> 01:09:58,612
This is all for a reason.

1505
01:09:58,696 --> 01:10:01,072
- Please!
- No, no, no.

1506
01:10:01,157 --> 01:10:03,408
Listen. We threw this party
for Walter Davis,

1507
01:10:03,492 --> 01:10:05,702
and we closed him,
he wants to give us his business.

1508
01:10:05,786 --> 01:10:06,828
- We did it.
- See?

1509
01:10:06,996 --> 01:10:09,247
I'm not a failure. I'm a good boss.
The party worked!

1510
01:10:10,124 --> 01:10:11,750
- Walter Davis?
- Yeah.

1511
01:10:11,834 --> 01:10:13,585
- Is at this party?
- That's right.

1512
01:10:13,669 --> 01:10:14,669
Where is he?

1513
01:10:15,254 --> 01:10:17,422
I don't know. Where was he?
He was just on the stage.

1514
01:10:17,506 --> 01:10:19,007
Guys? Guys!

1515
01:10:20,009 --> 01:10:21,343
That's not good.

1516
01:10:22,803 --> 01:10:24,387
Here we go!

1517
01:10:24,472 --> 01:10:25,931
Do it! Do it! Do it!

1518
01:10:26,015 --> 01:10:27,807
No, no, no.

1519
01:10:28,142 --> 01:10:30,769
- What are you doing?
- Hey, that was my idea.

1520
01:10:30,853 --> 01:10:33,063
- Not relevant.
- Walter? Hey, buddy!

1521
01:10:33,147 --> 01:10:35,023
Why don't you come down
using the stairs?

1522
01:10:35,107 --> 01:10:37,317
No. Clay, it's like you said!

1523
01:10:37,401 --> 01:10:39,444
I want to do something that scares me.

1524
01:10:39,528 --> 01:10:41,613
To feel alive!

1525
01:10:41,697 --> 01:10:43,114
Maybe not right now.

1526
01:10:43,199 --> 01:10:44,783
What did you guys do to him?

1527
01:10:44,867 --> 01:10:46,368
Let go of those lines, buddy!

1528
01:10:46,702 --> 01:10:50,205
I'm the king of lT buyers!

1529
01:10:56,712 --> 01:10:57,879
Shit!

1530
01:10:59,674 --> 01:11:01,174
Oh, God.

1531
01:11:02,593 --> 01:11:04,302
So close.

1532
01:11:08,015 --> 01:11:09,975
Hey, Walter.
You were like an eagle up there.

1533
01:11:10,059 --> 01:11:12,060
You were free. You did it.

1534
01:11:12,144 --> 01:11:13,311
Did we win?

1535
01:11:13,562 --> 01:11:14,854
Yeah, we won.

1536
01:11:15,314 --> 01:11:17,732
Zenotek! Zenotek!

1537
01:11:17,858 --> 01:11:19,901
That poor guy. What a day he's had.

1538
01:11:19,986 --> 01:11:22,112
First he gets fired and now this.

1539
01:11:22,196 --> 01:11:23,905
- Wait, what?
- Did you say fired?

1540
01:11:24,198 --> 01:11:25,281
Yeah.

1541
01:11:25,366 --> 01:11:27,158
He got fired
at the close of business today.

1542
01:11:27,243 --> 01:11:28,387
He told me, like, two hours ago.

1543
01:11:28,411 --> 01:11:30,078
They shipped
his whole branch overseas.

1544
01:11:30,162 --> 01:11:31,162
What?

1545
01:11:31,247 --> 01:11:32,914
I confirmed it with
my HR Facebook group.

1546
01:11:33,249 --> 01:11:34,290
And they know everything.

1547
01:11:34,750 --> 01:11:37,419
Excuse me. Just to clarify,
because I'm detail-oriented.

1548
01:11:37,712 --> 01:11:40,880
So you didn't get a contract
with Walter Davis

1549
01:11:40,965 --> 01:11:42,882
because he didn't have
a contract to give.

1550
01:11:42,967 --> 01:11:44,736
Carol, before you get mad,
here's the thing...

1551
01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:45,800
He wanted to work with us.

1552
01:11:45,845 --> 01:11:47,178
- So...
- Clay. Clay!

1553
01:11:47,263 --> 01:11:48,388
Yeah?

1554
01:11:48,472 --> 01:11:49,848
I'm not mad.

1555
01:11:50,099 --> 01:11:51,099
You're not?

1556
01:11:51,267 --> 01:11:53,977
I mean, I was mad
when Dad gave you this branch

1557
01:11:54,061 --> 01:11:58,273
just as a reward for taking
six years to graduate with a degree in...

1558
01:11:58,357 --> 01:11:59,649
What is it?

1559
01:11:59,734 --> 01:12:02,569
Canadian television theory
with concentration in Drake.

1560
01:12:02,945 --> 01:12:04,529
But this doesn't make me mad.

1561
01:12:04,905 --> 01:12:06,740
- I feel relieved.
- All right.

1562
01:12:06,824 --> 01:12:08,241
Because it's over.

1563
01:12:09,118 --> 01:12:11,453
- I'm shutting you down.
- Yeah, no, because it's late.

1564
01:12:11,579 --> 01:12:13,788
Allison got a clean-up crew
for tomorrow.

1565
01:12:13,914 --> 01:12:17,042
No, Clay. I'm terminating this branch.

1566
01:12:17,126 --> 01:12:19,586
I'm such a dickhead.
I started to like this place,

1567
01:12:19,670 --> 01:12:21,588
and then I get fucked. I get fucked!

1568
01:12:21,672 --> 01:12:23,912
No, no, no. Stop it, stop it.
Carol, let's take one beat.

1569
01:12:23,966 --> 01:12:25,008
Look, look, Carol. Carol.

1570
01:12:25,092 --> 01:12:26,509
I fucked up, okay, so blame me.

1571
01:12:26,594 --> 01:12:27,927
But these are good people.

1572
01:12:28,095 --> 01:12:30,055
You can't close this branch.
This is Dad's branch.

1573
01:12:30,097 --> 01:12:31,283
Well, you know what? He shouldn't have

1574
01:12:31,307 --> 01:12:32,474
given it to you to fuck up.

1575
01:12:34,268 --> 01:12:37,729
And good luck trying to be Mr. Fun Guy

1576
01:12:37,897 --> 01:12:39,731
when you have to fire all these people.

1577
01:12:41,025 --> 01:12:42,567
I'll see you in New York.

1578
01:12:42,651 --> 01:12:43,651
Wait, what?

1579
01:12:43,694 --> 01:12:45,134
Did your little friend not tell you?

1580
01:12:45,196 --> 01:12:46,256
He's coming to work for me.

1581
01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:47,405
Yeah, right.

1582
01:12:47,490 --> 01:12:48,656
I never said yes to that job.

1583
01:12:48,741 --> 01:12:50,658
I don't recall you ever saying no.

1584
01:12:57,333 --> 01:12:58,333
Clay.

1585
01:12:58,709 --> 01:13:00,835
Clay, I never... Hey.

1586
01:13:01,170 --> 01:13:02,253
Clay.

1587
01:13:05,007 --> 01:13:07,675
Hey, Clay...
You told me you had a two-drink limit.

1588
01:13:08,761 --> 01:13:10,762
Yeah. You're right.

1589
01:13:10,846 --> 01:13:14,015
Now, y'all didn't forget about DJ Calvis!

1590
01:13:23,192 --> 01:13:25,568
I want to go back to the party!

1591
01:13:28,364 --> 01:13:30,031
Hey! What the hell?

1592
01:13:30,324 --> 01:13:31,843
I hired you to pretend
to be my girlfriend,

1593
01:13:31,867 --> 01:13:33,993
then you go and give
all my co-workers hand jobs?

1594
01:13:34,078 --> 01:13:36,162
You hired me
to impress your co-workers,

1595
01:13:36,247 --> 01:13:37,580
and he was pretty impressed.

1596
01:13:37,665 --> 01:13:39,791
- Listen, I want my money back.
- Well...

1597
01:13:40,084 --> 01:13:41,793
I'm sorry, what was that?

1598
01:13:41,877 --> 01:13:43,962
I couldn't hear you over my gun.

1599
01:13:44,046 --> 01:13:46,172
I... I want my money back.

1600
01:13:46,924 --> 01:13:50,844
I'm sorry. Customer services
are not available right now,

1601
01:13:50,928 --> 01:13:53,138
but perhaps
I can address your grievance.

1602
01:13:54,515 --> 01:13:55,682
Everything's fine.

1603
01:13:55,766 --> 01:13:57,308
Would you say like a five on Yelp,

1604
01:13:57,393 --> 01:13:59,352
or like positive three?

1605
01:13:59,436 --> 01:14:01,855
- Five.
- Five? Alexei!

1606
01:14:05,025 --> 01:14:06,109
This is so funny.

1607
01:14:06,193 --> 01:14:08,945
Do that thing where you pull
his asshole through his face.

1608
01:14:09,113 --> 01:14:10,363
Don't please. Shit!

1609
01:14:10,447 --> 01:14:12,657
Santa's gonna get fucked up tonight!

1610
01:14:12,741 --> 01:14:15,034
Who wants to party with Santa?

1611
01:14:15,536 --> 01:14:18,663
- Who the fuck is that?
- You know what, that guy is really rich.

1612
01:14:18,747 --> 01:14:19,998
And he's really stupid.

1613
01:14:20,124 --> 01:14:22,060
Well, then what are we doing
with Spelling Bee here?

1614
01:14:22,084 --> 01:14:23,710
Get outta here. Go!

1615
01:14:24,587 --> 01:14:27,297
Hey, Santa! Wanna party?

1616
01:14:30,009 --> 01:14:36,723
Yeah.

1617
01:14:37,224 --> 01:14:39,726
No, no, no. This is not... That's not me.

1618
01:14:40,060 --> 01:14:41,477
That's not me. This is the machine.

1619
01:14:41,562 --> 01:14:43,146
The machine's...
The machine's broken.

1620
01:14:43,230 --> 01:14:45,607
It must've run out of ink. Or...

1621
01:14:47,610 --> 01:14:50,361
Tracey. Tracey. Hey. Excuse me.

1622
01:14:50,446 --> 01:14:51,529
Josh!

1623
01:14:51,614 --> 01:14:53,990
- Hey, guys. How's it going?
- You saved our marriage.

1624
01:14:54,074 --> 01:14:55,074
Tracey.

1625
01:14:55,159 --> 01:14:57,759
- It was really shitty before.
- Okay. You're a father, all right?

1626
01:14:59,246 --> 01:15:00,371
Tracey?

1627
01:15:01,248 --> 01:15:03,041
Tracey, are you in here?

1628
01:15:04,418 --> 01:15:05,501
Pardon me.

1629
01:15:05,753 --> 01:15:06,753
Hello?

1630
01:15:08,172 --> 01:15:09,714
Josh, it's happening.

1631
01:15:11,425 --> 01:15:12,759
Good for you.

1632
01:15:13,761 --> 01:15:16,596
Hey, Tracey, which one are you in?

1633
01:15:16,931 --> 01:15:20,183
Hi. Carol offered me a job,
but in no way did I say...

1634
01:15:20,267 --> 01:15:21,601
Josh. I get it.

1635
01:15:21,936 --> 01:15:23,519
She offered me a job, too.

1636
01:15:24,104 --> 01:15:25,897
- What? She offered you a job?
- Yeah.

1637
01:15:25,981 --> 01:15:28,775
Triple the salary.
An apartment overlooking Central Park.

1638
01:15:29,443 --> 01:15:31,236
I got double and moving costs.

1639
01:15:31,820 --> 01:15:33,655
The real difference is I said no.

1640
01:15:33,739 --> 01:15:35,217
Listen, I'm not fighting
with you about this.

1641
01:15:35,241 --> 01:15:36,551
It's silly. I didn't take the job.

1642
01:15:36,575 --> 01:15:38,785
Yeah. But you didn't not take it, either.

1643
01:15:38,869 --> 01:15:41,329
Because you need a safety net.
Hey, that's who you are.

1644
01:15:41,538 --> 01:15:43,957
I'm happy for you.
You should go to New York.

1645
01:15:45,251 --> 01:15:47,710
Is that what you want?
You want me to go to New York?

1646
01:15:47,795 --> 01:15:51,130
There's a real Human Centipede
situation happening in the men's room.

1647
01:15:51,340 --> 01:15:53,466
Tracey, please. Don't go. l...

1648
01:15:55,636 --> 01:15:59,305
Lamb shawarma? Yes, please.
Spit roast!

1649
01:16:01,642 --> 01:16:03,726
- Can I get a drink? Can I please...
- Josh.

1650
01:16:03,811 --> 01:16:04,811
Josh, where's Clay?

1651
01:16:05,062 --> 01:16:07,647
Asswipe loses everybody
theirjobs and runs.

1652
01:16:07,731 --> 01:16:09,232
How much did he spend on this party?

1653
01:16:09,316 --> 01:16:10,710
He could have just given
that money to us.

1654
01:16:10,734 --> 01:16:11,734
Clay sucks.

1655
01:16:11,860 --> 01:16:13,046
We should just kill him,
like on that podcast.

1656
01:16:13,070 --> 01:16:14,570
- Hey! Hey...
- Put the Red Bull down.

1657
01:16:14,655 --> 01:16:16,364
Respectfully, fuck you guys!

1658
01:16:16,448 --> 01:16:18,199
Sorry, that was too much, but...

1659
01:16:18,283 --> 01:16:21,869
Clay cares more about people
than anyone I've ever met.

1660
01:16:22,079 --> 01:16:23,788
He was gonna pay your bonuses tonight

1661
01:16:23,872 --> 01:16:24,998
with the last of his money.

1662
01:16:25,207 --> 01:16:26,207
What?

1663
01:16:26,250 --> 01:16:27,750
Yeah, he's broke. Clay is broke.

1664
01:16:27,918 --> 01:16:30,795
Who do you think paid
for that bouncy house in accounting?

1665
01:16:30,879 --> 01:16:33,089
Training that dog to deliver the mail?

1666
01:16:33,173 --> 01:16:35,717
The zip-line? Doughnut Fridays?

1667
01:16:35,843 --> 01:16:37,135
It was all Clay!

1668
01:16:37,219 --> 01:16:40,054
He spent all of his money
trying to keep this branch afloat.

1669
01:16:40,139 --> 01:16:42,765
And whenever I would question him
about it, he would say,

1670
01:16:42,850 --> 01:16:45,101
"Treat your employees
like they're your family

1671
01:16:45,185 --> 01:16:47,311
"and they'll do great things for you."

1672
01:16:47,396 --> 01:16:49,856
You guys, Clay just left to get drugs
with Becca and her pimp.

1673
01:16:49,940 --> 01:16:51,024
Wait... Who's Becca?

1674
01:16:51,108 --> 01:16:53,192
- Nate's whore.
- Hey, that's his girlfriend!

1675
01:16:53,277 --> 01:16:54,861
Nope, she's right.

1676
01:16:55,237 --> 01:16:56,821
Becca's a prostitute.

1677
01:16:56,947 --> 01:16:58,322
Nice.

1678
01:16:58,407 --> 01:16:59,532
Nope.

1679
01:16:59,616 --> 01:17:01,242
Clay left to go get drugs with a pimp?

1680
01:17:01,326 --> 01:17:03,578
Yes. She has a gun
and a serious mood imbalance.

1681
01:17:03,662 --> 01:17:05,121
- Fuck. Carol!
- Yes.

1682
01:17:05,205 --> 01:17:06,205
We have a problem.

1683
01:17:06,290 --> 01:17:07,999
Yeah, you have lots of problems.
Good luck.

1684
01:17:08,500 --> 01:17:09,917
Carol, excuse me.

1685
01:17:10,669 --> 01:17:12,462
Carol! Listen.

1686
01:17:12,546 --> 01:17:14,630
Clay has gone to get wasted
with a psychopath,

1687
01:17:14,715 --> 01:17:16,966
and he's got $300,000
strapped to his chest.

1688
01:17:17,342 --> 01:17:19,886
That really does sound
like a big problem...

1689
01:17:19,970 --> 01:17:20,970
For Clay.

1690
01:17:21,055 --> 01:17:22,221
You already lost your dad.

1691
01:17:22,306 --> 01:17:24,057
If you lose Clay, you'll have no one.

1692
01:17:24,141 --> 01:17:26,434
Trust me, that's not a place
you want to be.

1693
01:17:27,811 --> 01:17:30,021
- I don't care.
- What?

1694
01:17:30,105 --> 01:17:32,774
- Oh, boy. This woman...
- What is wrong with her?

1695
01:17:34,526 --> 01:17:35,526
Really?

1696
01:17:35,819 --> 01:17:37,737
Guys! I don't know what to do.

1697
01:17:37,821 --> 01:17:39,101
Clay's not picking up his phone.

1698
01:17:39,239 --> 01:17:41,324
I think I can locate him.

1699
01:17:41,658 --> 01:17:43,076
This is so amazing to meet guys

1700
01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:44,827
we can actually connect with, you know.

1701
01:17:44,912 --> 01:17:46,537
Yeah. Yeah. There we go.

1702
01:17:46,622 --> 01:17:47,705
- Amazing.
- Absolutely.

1703
01:17:47,790 --> 01:17:49,934
They're full of shit, okay?
They're not your soulmates.

1704
01:17:49,958 --> 01:17:51,198
They just hacked your Facebook.

1705
01:17:51,418 --> 01:17:53,836
- That's horseshit!
- Unbelievable. So uncool.

1706
01:17:53,962 --> 01:17:55,421
- Hey, wait!
- No, no, no, girls!

1707
01:17:55,506 --> 01:17:57,340
I knew you didn't like the Gilmore Girls.

1708
01:17:57,466 --> 01:17:59,592
Okay, I'm gonna need
both of you assclowns

1709
01:17:59,676 --> 01:18:01,928
to hack into Clay's phone
so we can find him.

1710
01:18:02,012 --> 01:18:03,656
Come on, why would we
help you, dude, seriously?

1711
01:18:03,680 --> 01:18:05,181
Yeah, why would we help you?

1712
01:18:05,516 --> 01:18:08,184
Because I'm your fucking boss,
and I'm telling you to.

1713
01:18:08,769 --> 01:18:11,187
- He can't touch him!
- I'll allow it.

1714
01:18:21,365 --> 01:18:24,075
There's a car on fire.
Did the Bears win?

1715
01:18:25,619 --> 01:18:27,286
What are you looking at?

1716
01:18:29,373 --> 01:18:31,833
Excuse me. Excuse me. Jesus.

1717
01:18:33,210 --> 01:18:36,295
Hey, if everybody's fired,

1718
01:18:36,380 --> 01:18:39,173
let's burn this place to the ground, baby!

1719
01:18:40,384 --> 01:18:42,635
Hey! Hey, what department are you in?

1720
01:18:42,719 --> 01:18:44,262
I don't work here.

1721
01:18:44,346 --> 01:18:46,430
Let's do this, baby! Who's with me?

1722
01:18:46,515 --> 01:18:47,890
Excuse me.

1723
01:18:48,350 --> 01:18:49,684
Fuck.

1724
01:18:57,401 --> 01:19:00,278
If I tell y'all one more time to back up,
it's gonna be a problem.

1725
01:19:00,362 --> 01:19:01,529
I'm not playing with y'all!

1726
01:19:01,613 --> 01:19:03,675
Carla! Carla! I need you to go upstairs
and lock this shit down.

1727
01:19:03,699 --> 01:19:04,824
We gotta go help Clay.

1728
01:19:04,908 --> 01:19:05,908
Fuck that!

1729
01:19:05,993 --> 01:19:08,202
The security guard
was the first one to go in Die Hard.

1730
01:19:08,287 --> 01:19:11,914
Carla, this is the one
you knew would come.

1731
01:19:11,999 --> 01:19:13,166
Be our John McClane.

1732
01:19:13,834 --> 01:19:14,834
I'm on it.

1733
01:19:16,253 --> 01:19:17,336
Hey.

1734
01:19:17,421 --> 01:19:18,588
In case it gets dark.

1735
01:19:20,924 --> 01:19:22,758
Who wants to get Tased?

1736
01:19:24,720 --> 01:19:26,512
Okay, where's your car?

1737
01:19:26,597 --> 01:19:28,533
I took a cab.
I thought we were gonna take your car.

1738
01:19:28,557 --> 01:19:29,557
No, I took the El.

1739
01:19:31,768 --> 01:19:33,186
Let's go get our Santa.

1740
01:19:33,270 --> 01:19:34,270
Great!

1741
01:19:34,354 --> 01:19:37,356
Come on! No, don't. It's a lift and pull.

1742
01:19:37,774 --> 01:19:39,210
You're jerking it!
Jesus Christ, let me do it.

1743
01:19:39,234 --> 01:19:40,234
I'm pulling out.

1744
01:19:40,319 --> 01:19:42,153
All right. Yeah, it's... It's locked.

1745
01:19:42,571 --> 01:19:43,613
Thanks.

1746
01:19:44,781 --> 01:19:46,282
Get in. Come on.

1747
01:19:47,868 --> 01:19:49,268
What'd you get all over your seats?

1748
01:19:49,328 --> 01:19:50,536
No, it's from the parrots.

1749
01:19:50,621 --> 01:19:52,288
Relax, it's not poop. It's some...

1750
01:19:52,372 --> 01:19:54,498
It's genital secretions.
It's mating season.

1751
01:19:55,417 --> 01:19:56,542
Should be dry.

1752
01:19:56,627 --> 01:19:58,878
Okay. Nate says
Clay's on the South Side.

1753
01:20:00,631 --> 01:20:03,466
He is not gonna fuck this up for me.

1754
01:20:03,967 --> 01:20:06,177
The board will vote me CEO.

1755
01:20:06,261 --> 01:20:09,055
That is happening.
So let's just do this, okay?

1756
01:20:10,390 --> 01:20:12,975
- Can this thing handle snow?
- Please. It's a Kia.

1757
01:20:13,060 --> 01:20:14,352
It's what God would drive.

1758
01:20:30,285 --> 01:20:32,745
Guys, you know, the thing is,
I told everybody

1759
01:20:32,829 --> 01:20:34,515
they were gonna be okay,
but then they weren't.

1760
01:20:34,539 --> 01:20:37,375
And so, I broke
a Christmas promise, which...

1761
01:20:38,752 --> 01:20:40,352
ls basically the worst thing you can do.

1762
01:20:41,046 --> 01:20:42,255
What? What is this?

1763
01:20:44,091 --> 01:20:47,885
"Ten red carpet moments that prove
Jennifer Lawrence is a real sweetheart."

1764
01:20:48,387 --> 01:20:49,387
Why?

1765
01:20:49,471 --> 01:20:51,264
Why in this moment is this important?

1766
01:20:51,765 --> 01:20:53,432
Go, go. Go.

1767
01:20:53,934 --> 01:20:55,768
- It's from vataly.
- What is this for?

1768
01:20:56,478 --> 01:20:57,914
You can't just walk up
and give me money

1769
01:20:57,938 --> 01:20:59,618
and I don't have a sense of
what it's from.

1770
01:21:01,608 --> 01:21:02,608
I can't do it.

1771
01:21:03,110 --> 01:21:05,444
I mean, it is so stressful being the boss.

1772
01:21:05,529 --> 01:21:06,904
Nobody ever talks about that.

1773
01:21:06,989 --> 01:21:08,155
No. No, not at all.

1774
01:21:08,240 --> 01:21:09,342
And if you want to complain about it,

1775
01:21:09,366 --> 01:21:11,534
everybody's like,
"Boo-hoo you, rich Santa."

1776
01:21:11,618 --> 01:21:12,952
Yeah, no one gives a shit!

1777
01:21:13,036 --> 01:21:15,556
I can't call people up and be like,
"I'm having a bad pimp day."

1778
01:21:16,123 --> 01:21:17,373
See, you understand.

1779
01:21:17,457 --> 01:21:20,626
I get clients calling me 24/7.
Middle of the night, 3:00 a.m.

1780
01:21:22,129 --> 01:21:24,046
"Hey, I need anal, like yesterday."

1781
01:21:24,131 --> 01:21:25,214
Yeah, the same with me!

1782
01:21:25,299 --> 01:21:26,979
Except instead of anal, it's data storage.

1783
01:21:27,009 --> 01:21:29,010
Or, "I'm, like, chairing a PTA meeting.

1784
01:21:29,136 --> 01:21:30,822
"Can you have someone blow me
in the gymnasium?"

1785
01:21:30,846 --> 01:21:32,430
Yeah, absolutely. It never ends.

1786
01:21:32,514 --> 01:21:35,141
Or, like, "Hey, your girl
just stabbed me in the leg

1787
01:21:35,225 --> 01:21:36,905
"and now I'm bleeding out
in the alleyway."

1788
01:21:37,394 --> 01:21:39,061
I don't relate to that as much.

1789
01:21:39,146 --> 01:21:41,439
It's mental, right?
How much people lean on you?

1790
01:21:41,523 --> 01:21:44,066
And my sister wanted me to be a failure,

1791
01:21:44,151 --> 01:21:46,152
and I was,
so she's not gonna let that go.

1792
01:21:46,236 --> 01:21:48,946
That's the problem of
working with family, though.

1793
01:21:49,114 --> 01:21:51,449
- Yeah.
- You can never escape them.

1794
01:21:51,992 --> 01:21:53,826
You can never escape them.

1795
01:21:54,161 --> 01:21:55,596
But you know what,
you're gonna be fine, man.

1796
01:21:55,620 --> 01:21:56,662
You know why?

1797
01:21:56,747 --> 01:21:58,664
'Cause you've got all that money, honey.

1798
01:21:58,915 --> 01:22:01,417
Yeah, that's the thing. I don't, actually.

1799
01:22:01,501 --> 01:22:03,146
I spent it all trying
to keep the branch open.

1800
01:22:03,170 --> 01:22:05,838
All I have left is $300,000 cash.

1801
01:22:06,173 --> 01:22:07,590
You have 300 grand.

1802
01:22:07,674 --> 01:22:08,985
Oh, my gosh.
Whenever I'm that low in my account,

1803
01:22:09,009 --> 01:22:10,676
I'm just like, "Kill me."

1804
01:22:10,927 --> 01:22:12,511
So where is the money?

1805
01:22:12,596 --> 01:22:15,931
- It's on my person. It's safe.
- It's in your personal safe?

1806
01:22:16,850 --> 01:22:18,893
Okay, we're close.
No, no, this is it! This is...

1807
01:22:18,977 --> 01:22:21,145
There's a spot! Right there.
You passed it!

1808
01:22:23,440 --> 01:22:24,774
Careful. Easy.

1809
01:22:28,904 --> 01:22:30,321
That's how you park a minivan.

1810
01:22:30,405 --> 01:22:31,947
Very impressive.

1811
01:22:32,032 --> 01:22:34,825
Okay, hey, Nate, are you sure
about this address here?

1812
01:22:34,910 --> 01:22:37,620
Yes. 92765 Union Street.

1813
01:22:37,704 --> 01:22:40,373
That's where the pin is.
Red Square Club.

1814
01:22:40,874 --> 01:22:44,043
Brian, I can see you fucking on my desk!

1815
01:22:49,257 --> 01:22:51,008
- I'll go see what's going on.
- Okay.

1816
01:22:51,760 --> 01:22:53,052
This is it.

1817
01:22:55,555 --> 01:22:56,722
Oh, my God.

1818
01:22:59,601 --> 01:23:01,560
Well, maybe he deserved it.
Who knows?

1819
01:23:01,645 --> 01:23:02,978
Here we go, guys. Come on.

1820
01:23:03,063 --> 01:23:05,383
Quickly? Because I don't know
what's gonna happen in there.

1821
01:23:05,816 --> 01:23:08,234
Last year I filed
a sexual harassment complaint

1822
01:23:08,318 --> 01:23:09,402
against myself.

1823
01:23:09,569 --> 01:23:11,070
Against yourself.

1824
01:23:12,489 --> 01:23:16,033
Andrew, in the copy room,
he was changing the toner.

1825
01:23:16,118 --> 01:23:18,536
And I pretended to drop
something on the ground

1826
01:23:18,995 --> 01:23:20,496
so that I could bend over

1827
01:23:20,580 --> 01:23:23,249
and graze his butt with my nose.

1828
01:23:23,333 --> 01:23:24,333
And I did.

1829
01:23:29,339 --> 01:23:31,757
- That doesn't seem that bad.
- And then I said,

1830
01:23:31,842 --> 01:23:35,678
"if you don't fuck me, buster,
I will ruin you."

1831
01:23:36,263 --> 01:23:37,596
That's harassment.

1832
01:23:37,973 --> 01:23:39,515
That's why he quit.

1833
01:23:39,766 --> 01:23:42,268
You seem like you feel better.
Here we go.

1834
01:23:42,352 --> 01:23:43,561
Wait! No, guys,

1835
01:23:43,645 --> 01:23:45,604
we can't go in there looking like this.

1836
01:23:48,442 --> 01:23:49,442
Hey, Carol?

1837
01:23:50,110 --> 01:23:51,610
Why don't you give me your coat?

1838
01:24:05,834 --> 01:24:09,044
- How we doing tonight?
- Private party. Members only.

1839
01:24:10,130 --> 01:24:11,755
Well, I'm a businessman.

1840
01:24:11,840 --> 01:24:14,341
These are my business ladies
of the night.

1841
01:24:14,426 --> 01:24:15,801
You hear what I'm saying to you?

1842
01:24:15,886 --> 01:24:17,011
They only come out at night.

1843
01:24:17,137 --> 01:24:18,497
- Okay. Okay.
- Mostly for parties.

1844
01:24:25,854 --> 01:24:27,146
It's a beautiful language.

1845
01:24:30,484 --> 01:24:31,484
Nice, Carol.

1846
01:24:37,782 --> 01:24:40,951
Seems like an appropriate setting
for an emotional rock bottom.

1847
01:24:44,122 --> 01:24:45,414
There's a back room.

1848
01:24:55,509 --> 01:24:56,592
Hi. How you doing?

1849
01:24:56,676 --> 01:24:58,594
Have you seen a guy in a Santa suit?

1850
01:24:58,678 --> 01:25:00,763
Fuck you. I don't tell you anything.

1851
01:25:00,847 --> 01:25:02,348
All right, now listen here.

1852
01:25:07,604 --> 01:25:09,772
Hi. Me again. Where's Santa?

1853
01:25:09,856 --> 01:25:11,273
Fuck you.

1854
01:25:12,025 --> 01:25:14,568
You do not want to die
at the hands of Lululemon here.

1855
01:25:14,736 --> 01:25:16,547
It'd be real embarrassing for you.
You're a large guy,

1856
01:25:16,571 --> 01:25:18,989
and she's made of nothing
but salad and Smartwater.

1857
01:25:20,200 --> 01:25:21,367
Nope, no tap outs.

1858
01:25:22,536 --> 01:25:24,078
Back door? Thank you.

1859
01:25:24,246 --> 01:25:25,746
- Bitch.
- What?

1860
01:25:27,666 --> 01:25:28,707
Was that too much?

1861
01:25:28,792 --> 01:25:30,751
- Just a little.
- I loved it.

1862
01:25:30,835 --> 01:25:31,835
Let's go.

1863
01:25:32,379 --> 01:25:34,088
- Hey!
- Oh, God.

1864
01:25:34,422 --> 01:25:35,839
Go. I got this. Go, go.

1865
01:25:35,924 --> 01:25:37,424
Okay. Enjoy.

1866
01:25:38,927 --> 01:25:40,886
Come on, let's party.

1867
01:25:41,846 --> 01:25:45,182
Vin Diesel ain't got shit on me!

1868
01:25:45,392 --> 01:25:46,892
Clay!

1869
01:25:47,561 --> 01:25:49,019
Wait, what did he say?

1870
01:25:49,104 --> 01:25:50,206
I think I know where they're going.

1871
01:25:50,230 --> 01:25:51,313
Let's get the car. Come on!

1872
01:25:55,402 --> 01:25:56,735
Let's go!

1873
01:25:59,239 --> 01:26:00,406
Excuse me. Excuse me.

1874
01:26:00,532 --> 01:26:02,741
Hey, Mary? Mary, get in the car!

1875
01:26:04,411 --> 01:26:05,786
Damn it.

1876
01:26:18,883 --> 01:26:23,012
God rest ye merry gentlemen

1877
01:26:23,096 --> 01:26:26,599
Let nothing you dismay

1878
01:26:27,392 --> 01:26:31,061
Remember Christ the Savior

1879
01:26:31,146 --> 01:26:34,231
was born on Christmas Day

1880
01:26:35,066 --> 01:26:39,153
To save us all from Satan's power

1881
01:26:39,237 --> 01:26:42,781
When we were gone astray

1882
01:26:43,617 --> 01:26:48,495
Tidings of comfort and joy

1883
01:26:48,580 --> 01:26:50,372
Comfort and joy

1884
01:26:50,457 --> 01:26:54,376
Oh, tidings of comfort

1885
01:26:54,461 --> 01:26:57,796
Comfort and joy!

1886
01:27:17,192 --> 01:27:20,110
- Oh, God.
- Yeah, I fucked up. I did.

1887
01:27:20,195 --> 01:27:21,403
I lost a lot of people's jobs.

1888
01:27:21,488 --> 01:27:23,322
I hurt a lot of good people tonight.

1889
01:27:23,490 --> 01:27:24,865
Yeah, totally. Cool story.

1890
01:27:24,949 --> 01:27:26,218
Are we coming up
to your apartment building

1891
01:27:26,242 --> 01:27:27,743
on the left, or the right, or...

1892
01:27:27,827 --> 01:27:29,013
We're not going to my apartment.

1893
01:27:29,037 --> 01:27:30,245
Yes, we are.

1894
01:27:30,330 --> 01:27:32,099
We are going to your apartment
to go to the safe.

1895
01:27:32,123 --> 01:27:34,249
There's nothing safe
about what we're gonna do.

1896
01:27:34,334 --> 01:27:36,094
- What?
- Yeah, it's like you said, you know.

1897
01:27:36,169 --> 01:27:38,295
We need to escape them,
so that's what we're gonna do.

1898
01:27:38,380 --> 01:27:40,316
- Red light.
- What the fuck are you talking about?

1899
01:27:40,340 --> 01:27:41,423
There's a red light!

1900
01:27:41,508 --> 01:27:42,591
That's a red light!

1901
01:27:45,095 --> 01:27:46,762
Yeah!

1902
01:27:47,347 --> 01:27:49,932
We go right through 'em.
They're just suggestions.

1903
01:27:52,977 --> 01:27:54,830
- Can you look at that fuck?
- This fucking windshield.

1904
01:27:54,854 --> 01:27:55,938
Are you kidding? Not now!

1905
01:27:56,022 --> 01:27:58,107
That's the AC, Josh.
We don't need that right now.

1906
01:27:58,191 --> 01:27:59,191
What about that?

1907
01:27:59,234 --> 01:28:00,586
No, that's the recirculating mode.

1908
01:28:00,610 --> 01:28:03,445
How am I gonna run Zenotek
without this Genius Bar?

1909
01:28:03,530 --> 01:28:04,840
Carol, you can get up here
and help if you'd like.

1910
01:28:04,864 --> 01:28:06,281
Okay, my seat's getting hotter.

1911
01:28:06,366 --> 01:28:08,344
Mary, why do you even have a minivan?
You don't have kids.

1912
01:28:08,368 --> 01:28:09,702
I buy in bulk!

1913
01:28:10,078 --> 01:28:11,203
- It's them!
- Yeah.

1914
01:28:11,287 --> 01:28:12,647
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good eyes.

1915
01:28:12,706 --> 01:28:14,498
God! What's that smell?

1916
01:28:14,582 --> 01:28:17,222
I'm gonna be honest with you,
I have been farting this entire time.

1917
01:28:21,047 --> 01:28:22,715
Oh, my gosh.

1918
01:28:22,799 --> 01:28:25,634
Okay, you know what,
take me to your personal safe right now.

1919
01:28:25,719 --> 01:28:27,196
We don't need money
where we're going.

1920
01:28:27,220 --> 01:28:28,531
- Where are we going?
- For glory.

1921
01:28:28,555 --> 01:28:29,805
The Clark Street Bridge.

1922
01:28:29,889 --> 01:28:31,140
This time of night it'll be up.

1923
01:28:31,224 --> 01:28:33,600
We're gonna jump the bridge
and never look back.

1924
01:28:40,817 --> 01:28:43,087
Okay, new game. Pull over.
Just pull over or I'll tuck and roll.

1925
01:28:43,111 --> 01:28:44,463
- No, no, no. Trina, Trina.
- Just slow down.

1926
01:28:44,487 --> 01:28:46,298
Trina, I've been thinking
about this for a while.

1927
01:28:46,322 --> 01:28:47,406
We can make this jump.

1928
01:28:47,490 --> 01:28:50,075
I let a lot of people down,
but I'm not gonna let you guys down.

1929
01:28:50,160 --> 01:28:52,661
We're gonna escape our families
and become anew!

1930
01:28:52,746 --> 01:28:53,996
Pull over right now.

1931
01:28:54,080 --> 01:28:55,873
Or I shoot you in the fucking brain.

1932
01:28:55,957 --> 01:28:58,917
Well, you can't shoot him,
because then he's gonna crash the car.

1933
01:28:59,085 --> 01:29:01,253
Really, Savannah? Really?

1934
01:29:01,337 --> 01:29:03,714
Why don't you put it in an email
and CC everyone, all right?

1935
01:29:03,798 --> 01:29:05,549
Make double sure everyone got it.

1936
01:29:06,176 --> 01:29:08,343
You know what, you should
start a podcast, Savannah,

1937
01:29:08,428 --> 01:29:10,804
called "Savannah Says Fucking
Stupid Things Out Loud."

1938
01:29:18,229 --> 01:29:20,189
- Clay!
- Clay! Hey, listen, I'm sorry!

1939
01:29:20,273 --> 01:29:21,815
I was never gonna take that job.

1940
01:29:21,983 --> 01:29:23,192
Not good enough!

1941
01:29:23,276 --> 01:29:24,860
Do not jump that bridge.

1942
01:29:24,944 --> 01:29:27,613
I have to do this.
Carol's right, I'm a fuckup!

1943
01:29:29,073 --> 01:29:30,073
Shit!

1944
01:29:35,872 --> 01:29:37,915
Pull over, you fucking idiot!

1945
01:29:38,708 --> 01:29:41,293
Or, the nice supportive version?

1946
01:29:41,377 --> 01:29:43,879
Pull over, fucking idiot!

1947
01:29:44,130 --> 01:29:45,130
No.

1948
01:29:45,215 --> 01:29:47,007
Hey, tell him to pull over, lady!

1949
01:29:47,091 --> 01:29:51,094
Look. Pull over! Pull over!
Pull over! It doesn't work!

1950
01:29:51,387 --> 01:29:54,223
- It's not working.
- None of it works!

1951
01:29:54,307 --> 01:29:55,474
Hey, Clay,

1952
01:29:55,809 --> 01:29:58,477
you jump that bridge, I'm going with you.

1953
01:29:58,561 --> 01:29:59,895
What? No!

1954
01:29:59,979 --> 01:30:01,146
- Yes, I am.
- No, no, no.

1955
01:30:01,231 --> 01:30:03,774
Did you say hit it at 80 or 90,
vin Diesel?

1956
01:30:04,359 --> 01:30:06,151
- Put it into sport.
- Here we go.

1957
01:30:09,405 --> 01:30:11,240
Josh, I'm sorry that
I said you were safe.

1958
01:30:11,574 --> 01:30:13,575
- You don't have to do this.
- Yes, I do.

1959
01:30:13,660 --> 01:30:15,577
Josh, what are you doing, man?

1960
01:30:15,829 --> 01:30:17,579
You go, we all go!

1961
01:30:18,748 --> 01:30:19,832
Fuck.

1962
01:30:20,542 --> 01:30:22,543
I love America!

1963
01:30:27,882 --> 01:30:30,551
I am not gonna die in a minivan.

1964
01:30:31,052 --> 01:30:33,470
Hey, hey, hey! Get off the wheel!

1965
01:31:17,640 --> 01:31:20,392
We could've made
that bridge, pantyhose.

1966
01:31:22,145 --> 01:31:23,437
Where's Clay?

1967
01:31:31,070 --> 01:31:33,739
It was on your person.

1968
01:31:39,704 --> 01:31:41,079
What did we hit?

1969
01:31:41,956 --> 01:31:43,790
The collision severed
the primary fiber line,

1970
01:31:43,875 --> 01:31:45,500
as well as its backup,

1971
01:31:45,752 --> 01:31:49,796
paralyzing lnternet, DSL,
and cellular communications citywide.

1972
01:31:50,131 --> 01:31:52,257
So if you haven't ordered
your holiday gifts early,

1973
01:31:52,342 --> 01:31:54,468
you may not be able to order them at all.

1974
01:31:54,761 --> 01:31:56,762
I quit, by the way!

1975
01:31:56,971 --> 01:31:58,013
You quit what?

1976
01:31:58,097 --> 01:31:59,389
What, Savannah? What'd you quit?

1977
01:31:59,474 --> 01:32:01,141
Just a couple of normal girls here.

1978
01:32:01,225 --> 01:32:02,851
Move it, move it! Clear!

1979
01:32:02,977 --> 01:32:04,102
The lnternet's down.

1980
01:32:04,771 --> 01:32:06,104
My brother needs a doctor!

1981
01:32:06,189 --> 01:32:07,833
Ma'am, you're gonna
need to wait your turn.

1982
01:32:07,857 --> 01:32:09,585
Can you find someone
that will help my brother?

1983
01:32:09,609 --> 01:32:11,902
All of you, just back up!

1984
01:32:12,153 --> 01:32:15,364
Back up.
Make a single file line against that wall

1985
01:32:15,448 --> 01:32:18,033
and she will be with you
when she has a fucking minute!

1986
01:32:27,293 --> 01:32:30,545
You know, you trying to jump
that bridge was really...

1987
01:32:30,630 --> 01:32:32,881
Brave? That what you were going for?

1988
01:32:33,841 --> 01:32:35,550
No, stupid. I was gonna say stupid.

1989
01:32:35,635 --> 01:32:37,594
No, I... I would say brave.

1990
01:32:37,679 --> 01:32:39,596
- A little brave.
- Yeah. Hi.

1991
01:32:39,806 --> 01:32:41,932
- Hey, how is he?
- He's fine.

1992
01:32:42,016 --> 01:32:46,353
In fact, the doctor said that the crash
actually fixed a previous fracture.

1993
01:32:46,980 --> 01:32:48,647
He's got... He's got this gift.

1994
01:32:48,731 --> 01:32:50,148
I don't... I don't get it.

1995
01:32:51,025 --> 01:32:52,734
- Thank God he's okay.
- Well...

1996
01:32:52,819 --> 01:32:55,278
So, maybe you'll reconsider
firing everyone?

1997
01:32:55,363 --> 01:32:57,656
Once it gets out there
that we caused this crash,

1998
01:32:57,740 --> 01:33:00,242
the board finds out, my ass is fired.

1999
01:33:00,326 --> 01:33:01,326
No one has a job.

2000
01:33:01,661 --> 01:33:03,745
- So...
- Carol?

2001
01:33:04,038 --> 01:33:07,624
Is now a good time to exchange
insurance information for the car stuff?

2002
01:33:07,709 --> 01:33:10,627
It's not. You know,
we would've made it, by the way.

2003
01:33:10,712 --> 01:33:12,472
- At the speed you were going?
- Comfortably.

2004
01:33:12,547 --> 01:33:15,132
Please. To make that jump,
with that incline,

2005
01:33:15,216 --> 01:33:17,050
you would have had to
at least been going...

2006
01:33:17,135 --> 01:33:18,635
- 110.
- 95.

2007
01:33:20,513 --> 01:33:22,014
No, 95.

2008
01:33:22,557 --> 01:33:25,225
- It's simple math.
- Well, okay.

2009
01:33:25,351 --> 01:33:27,269
It might be simple on paper,

2010
01:33:27,353 --> 01:33:30,814
but you're forgetting the wind,
the weight of the Kia,

2011
01:33:30,898 --> 01:33:32,190
the four of us,

2012
01:33:33,234 --> 01:33:34,359
bird cages...

2013
01:33:34,527 --> 01:33:37,696
I prefer to call them bird condos,
and so do the birds.

2014
01:33:38,197 --> 01:33:40,657
Point being,
you have to adjust your numbers

2015
01:33:40,742 --> 01:33:43,201
to account for real world conditions.

2016
01:33:43,703 --> 01:33:46,955
Simple. Or did they not teach
that to you in hacker college?

2017
01:33:47,206 --> 01:33:48,331
You're right.

2018
01:33:48,416 --> 01:33:49,458
Thank you.

2019
01:33:50,084 --> 01:33:51,334
No, not about that.

2020
01:33:51,419 --> 01:33:53,253
Although hacker college
does sound awesome.

2021
01:33:53,921 --> 01:33:56,214
It's AnywAir. I've been doing it wrong.

2022
01:33:58,551 --> 01:34:00,761
I... I've been treating the power grid

2023
01:34:00,887 --> 01:34:02,679
as if it was
a seamless source of lnternet.

2024
01:34:03,014 --> 01:34:05,348
It's not seamless, it's messy. It...

2025
01:34:06,225 --> 01:34:08,060
But if there was an opportunity

2026
01:34:09,020 --> 01:34:11,063
where the conditions were just right.

2027
01:34:11,689 --> 01:34:14,733
If we were inside of a vacuum.
If it was still.

2028
01:34:15,234 --> 01:34:16,902
Oh, my God.

2029
01:34:17,236 --> 01:34:19,154
- An lnternet blackout.
- An lnternet blackout!

2030
01:34:19,238 --> 01:34:20,340
Let's get you back to the office.

2031
01:34:20,364 --> 01:34:21,364
- Yes!
- Come on.

2032
01:34:22,033 --> 01:34:24,201
I'm gonna text you
that claims form, yeah?

2033
01:34:32,919 --> 01:34:36,088
- I'm sorry, Mary.
- Go save the company!

2034
01:35:01,948 --> 01:35:03,448
Mom?

2035
01:35:04,951 --> 01:35:06,284
Dad?

2036
01:35:29,684 --> 01:35:30,934
Oh, my...

2037
01:35:34,480 --> 01:35:36,314
- Hey.
- Hey.

2038
01:35:40,153 --> 01:35:41,153
Carla!

2039
01:35:41,279 --> 01:35:42,487
- Wassup?
- Morning.

2040
01:35:42,655 --> 01:35:45,157
I Tased as many as I could, but...

2041
01:35:45,491 --> 01:35:47,811
Yeah. Well, I actually thought
it was gonna be worse, so...

2042
01:35:49,287 --> 01:35:51,788
I see you, bitch! Bitch, I see you!

2043
01:35:51,998 --> 01:35:53,582
Your office was locked, right?

2044
01:35:53,666 --> 01:35:54,833
Yeah, of course.

2045
01:35:55,168 --> 01:35:57,752
- What... What's happening?
- Did you guys find Clay?

2046
01:36:07,054 --> 01:36:08,680
- Sorry. Old habit.
- Sure.

2047
01:36:09,182 --> 01:36:11,725
Okay. So, what...
You're writing an algorithm

2048
01:36:11,809 --> 01:36:13,935
that can respond to the grid
in real time?

2049
01:36:14,020 --> 01:36:15,687
- That's gonna take...
- Done.

2050
01:36:16,814 --> 01:36:17,814
Forever.

2051
01:36:18,399 --> 01:36:20,567
Nate! How's that server bank?

2052
01:36:20,943 --> 01:36:22,903
Still covered in beer! Five minutes!

2053
01:36:23,196 --> 01:36:24,738
I hope it's beer.

2054
01:36:26,365 --> 01:36:27,407
Hey.

2055
01:36:27,533 --> 01:36:28,742
About what happened...

2056
01:36:28,868 --> 01:36:30,285
All good. Everyone has their thing.

2057
01:36:30,369 --> 01:36:32,454
I know it seems weird,
but I just crave discipline.

2058
01:36:32,538 --> 01:36:34,080
My family had no set meal times.

2059
01:36:34,165 --> 01:36:36,374
Yeah, it's cool.
I don't need your origin story.

2060
01:36:36,709 --> 01:36:38,376
Promise me you won't tell anyone?

2061
01:36:39,003 --> 01:36:40,712
- I'll do your taxes!
- Deal.

2062
01:36:40,963 --> 01:36:41,963
Great.

2063
01:36:42,298 --> 01:36:45,342
Oh, my God, the office.
Hey, guys, I got doughnuts!

2064
01:36:45,509 --> 01:36:48,345
I got jelly and glazed and...

2065
01:36:48,679 --> 01:36:51,681
Some other stuff.
But no Cronuts, that's a bastard pastry.

2066
01:36:55,353 --> 01:36:56,811
I still hate your rules.

2067
01:36:57,813 --> 01:37:01,733
But your dancing is wild and free.

2068
01:37:02,026 --> 01:37:04,027
Like an unmanned fire hose.

2069
01:37:06,322 --> 01:37:07,989
Put your pants on.

2070
01:37:11,118 --> 01:37:12,452
For now.

2071
01:37:14,497 --> 01:37:17,332
Now, we can't fix the lnternet
if we can't get on the lnternet.

2072
01:37:17,416 --> 01:37:18,708
Everything is down.

2073
01:37:18,793 --> 01:37:20,062
Okay, well, all the phones are working.

2074
01:37:20,086 --> 01:37:21,294
What about a dial-up modem?

2075
01:37:21,379 --> 01:37:22,773
Great. Now all you need
is a RadioShack

2076
01:37:22,797 --> 01:37:23,880
and a time machine.

2077
01:37:23,965 --> 01:37:26,508
- The G1 had it, right?
- There's one in Clay's office.

2078
01:37:26,842 --> 01:37:28,343
- Great.
- Hey, Josh.

2079
01:37:28,427 --> 01:37:29,761
- Yeah?
- Great news.

2080
01:37:29,845 --> 01:37:32,115
Jimmy Butler asked me to DJ
his parties, his after-parties,

2081
01:37:32,139 --> 01:37:33,807
and his hungover
next-morning brunches.

2082
01:37:35,017 --> 01:37:36,559
Well, that is great news, Joel.

2083
01:37:36,644 --> 01:37:39,104
Actually, it's Calvis now. And forever.

2084
01:37:39,939 --> 01:37:40,939
Joel is dead.

2085
01:37:41,399 --> 01:37:42,399
Get the desk.

2086
01:37:42,441 --> 01:37:44,943
Okay, give me the wires.
Plug it in here. Give me that.

2087
01:37:45,069 --> 01:37:47,237
Hey, I could use some of
that giddy-up in HR

2088
01:37:47,321 --> 01:37:48,966
if you two ponies
are looking for a new stable.

2089
01:37:48,990 --> 01:37:50,008
I am looking for a new stable, Mary.

2090
01:37:50,032 --> 01:37:51,218
Thank you so much. We'll talk later.

2091
01:37:51,242 --> 01:37:52,386
Mary, you're showing a lot of neck.

2092
01:37:52,410 --> 01:37:53,451
Breaking your own rules.

2093
01:37:53,744 --> 01:37:55,412
It's a little skanky, isn't it?

2094
01:37:55,579 --> 01:37:57,122
- Plug it in.
- Plugged in.

2095
01:37:57,581 --> 01:38:00,060
I got this DJ equipment,
if you want to use that for something.

2096
01:38:00,084 --> 01:38:01,764
Okay, that's not gonna help,
but thank you.

2097
01:38:02,128 --> 01:38:03,211
All right, guys.

2098
01:38:03,963 --> 01:38:04,963
What now?

2099
01:38:05,089 --> 01:38:07,465
I press "Enter,"
it launches the protocol, and then...

2100
01:38:07,550 --> 01:38:09,027
And then everybody gets
back on the lnternet.

2101
01:38:09,051 --> 01:38:10,051
Hopefully.

2102
01:38:10,428 --> 01:38:11,886
Or I blow up the power grid.

2103
01:38:11,971 --> 01:38:13,972
- So be ready for that.
- Okay?

2104
01:38:14,056 --> 01:38:16,391
Don't worry about that. Just hit "Enter."

2105
01:38:16,475 --> 01:38:17,809
Okay, guys.

2106
01:38:18,644 --> 01:38:19,644
Here we go.

2107
01:38:28,946 --> 01:38:30,321
Power's still on.

2108
01:38:30,406 --> 01:38:32,073
Yeah, I'm honestly shocked by that.

2109
01:38:32,241 --> 01:38:33,533
No lnternet yet, though.

2110
01:38:33,617 --> 01:38:34,720
It could take a few seconds.

2111
01:38:34,744 --> 01:38:36,494
If it works,
you'll have a connection alert.

2112
01:38:36,996 --> 01:38:38,621
- No.
- No, nothing.

2113
01:38:38,956 --> 01:38:39,956
Nothing yet.

2114
01:38:42,251 --> 01:38:43,835
- No? Anybody?
- No.

2115
01:38:43,961 --> 01:38:45,045
No, nothing.

2116
01:38:45,129 --> 01:38:46,129
Josh?

2117
01:38:46,255 --> 01:38:48,095
No. Just give it a little more time,
all right?

2118
01:38:50,301 --> 01:38:52,052
Maybe it wasn't ready.

2119
01:38:52,136 --> 01:38:53,887
Tracey, hey.

2120
01:38:54,263 --> 01:38:55,597
It's ready.

2121
01:38:56,140 --> 01:38:58,308
Still dead. Waiting for it. Still dead.

2122
01:39:04,648 --> 01:39:06,191
- Is that you?
- Got it. Got it!

2123
01:39:06,275 --> 01:39:07,275
Oh, my God.

2124
01:39:07,318 --> 01:39:09,152
- Yep, I got it.
- Oh, my God!

2125
01:39:09,487 --> 01:39:10,737
- Was that you?
- I got it!

2126
01:39:10,821 --> 01:39:11,905
Yeah, I got it, too!

2127
01:39:12,323 --> 01:39:15,283
I got mine! Yeah.
Yeah, there's mine. Holy shit!

2128
01:39:15,618 --> 01:39:16,993
- Tracey!
- You did it!

2129
01:39:40,601 --> 01:39:42,268
Work never stops. You see that?

2130
01:39:42,353 --> 01:39:44,312
Excuse me. Excuse me.

2131
01:39:44,647 --> 01:39:46,106
Hello, yes. I am happy for you,

2132
01:39:46,190 --> 01:39:49,317
but I do need you to sign
a personal relationship disclosure form

2133
01:39:49,401 --> 01:39:50,527
before this rounds first.

2134
01:39:50,611 --> 01:39:52,278
No. No, I don't think so.

2135
01:39:52,363 --> 01:39:54,864
Hey, Mary, sign this.

2136
01:39:55,533 --> 01:39:58,284
You know what? I really like you,

2137
01:39:58,369 --> 01:40:01,538
but maybe we could get, like,
a cup of coffee first, or something?

2138
01:40:01,622 --> 01:40:03,623
Yeah! Totally.

2139
01:40:03,707 --> 01:40:06,042
That's what I meant by, "Sign this."

2140
01:40:06,293 --> 01:40:08,044
- You know what? Forget it.
- Okay.

2141
01:40:19,056 --> 01:40:21,307
Glass of wine in a family photo?

2142
01:40:21,392 --> 01:40:23,560
Look at him in that suit. What a stud.

2143
01:40:24,061 --> 01:40:25,562
He wore that better than you.

2144
01:40:25,646 --> 01:40:27,981
Yeah, he did a lot of things
better than me.

2145
01:40:28,858 --> 01:40:30,441
You're right to be pissed at me.

2146
01:40:30,526 --> 01:40:32,170
You know, I always got to do
whatever I wanted

2147
01:40:32,194 --> 01:40:34,354
and you always ended up
with the shit end of the stick.

2148
01:40:34,697 --> 01:40:36,197
It wasn't fair.

2149
01:40:37,408 --> 01:40:39,033
I'm sorry, sis.

2150
01:40:39,577 --> 01:40:41,744
Thank you for that.

2151
01:40:42,705 --> 01:40:44,706
You never got to be the fun one, huh?

2152
01:40:44,790 --> 01:40:46,499
- I mean, I could have. Right?
- Yeah.

2153
01:40:46,584 --> 01:40:48,061
- Sure.
- I have... l have a fun side.

2154
01:40:48,085 --> 01:40:50,420
I've seen it many a time.

2155
01:40:50,504 --> 01:40:51,671
I mean...

2156
01:40:51,755 --> 01:40:53,715
Off the top of my head, l...

2157
01:40:53,799 --> 01:40:55,569
Remember that Thanksgiving
that you taught everybody

2158
01:40:55,593 --> 01:40:57,343
the real rules of Monopoly?

2159
01:40:57,928 --> 01:41:00,048
With the bidding wars
and the strict time limit and...

2160
01:41:00,097 --> 01:41:02,265
- Yeah, that wasn't fun.
- I know.

2161
01:41:02,433 --> 01:41:05,602
Hi! My pain is at a 9 or a 10 or 11.

2162
01:41:05,686 --> 01:41:07,729
Whatever on the chart, the...

2163
01:41:07,813 --> 01:41:09,063
That face?

2164
01:41:09,148 --> 01:41:10,356
So can I get some Dilaudid

2165
01:41:10,441 --> 01:41:12,525
in another one of those
little gelatin cups?

2166
01:41:12,610 --> 01:41:14,944
You can't buy those. I looked it up.

2167
01:41:18,115 --> 01:41:19,616
The lnternet's back up.

2168
01:41:20,451 --> 01:41:22,577
What the hell is a Zenotek?

2169
01:41:23,120 --> 01:41:24,287
- What?
- What?

2170
01:41:26,373 --> 01:41:29,792
Oh, my God! She did it. She did it!

2171
01:41:29,877 --> 01:41:31,544
Shut the fuck door!

2172
01:41:31,795 --> 01:41:33,106
I gotta tell you, I was always like,

2173
01:41:33,130 --> 01:41:34,608
"Tracey, this doesn't make any sense,"

2174
01:41:34,632 --> 01:41:37,217
and she was like, "Words, words, words
and some numbers."

2175
01:41:37,301 --> 01:41:38,551
But she did it.

2176
01:41:38,636 --> 01:41:39,844
Oh, my God.

2177
01:41:39,929 --> 01:41:41,573
Wait. So, this means everybody
gets to keep theirjobs?

2178
01:41:41,597 --> 01:41:43,806
- Everybody gets to keep theirjobs.
- Yes!

2179
01:41:44,099 --> 01:41:46,142
God, I am gonna be CEO.

2180
01:41:46,477 --> 01:41:48,144
Because you deserve it.

2181
01:41:48,729 --> 01:41:50,897
And you throw a great fucking party.

2182
01:41:51,273 --> 01:41:53,316
Yeah. I did, didn't I?

2183
01:41:54,443 --> 01:41:56,319
- Walter.
- Walter.

2184
01:41:56,946 --> 01:41:58,363
- Hello.
- Hi.

2185
01:41:58,447 --> 01:42:00,281
- Carol.
- Carol, nice to meet you.

2186
01:42:00,366 --> 01:42:02,575
There's my eagle. Hey.

2187
01:42:02,660 --> 01:42:06,329
I just want to thank you
for the best night of my life!

2188
01:42:06,413 --> 01:42:08,081
Yeah? Yeah?

2189
01:42:08,749 --> 01:42:09,958
I'll see you on Monday.

2190
01:42:12,670 --> 01:42:15,088
Well, it looks like
we just hired Walter Davis.

2191
01:42:17,007 --> 01:42:18,675
Well, he'll fit right in.

2192
01:42:21,720 --> 01:42:23,221
Did you see that?

2193
01:42:25,849 --> 01:42:27,684
- What are you doing?
- Winner!

2194
01:42:28,018 --> 01:42:30,144
- We weren't even racing.
- Well, you weren't.

2195
01:42:30,479 --> 01:42:32,582
Why do you think
they always make you leave a hospital

2196
01:42:32,606 --> 01:42:33,856
in a wheelchair?

2197
01:42:38,696 --> 01:42:40,196
What are you guys doing here?

2198
01:42:40,281 --> 01:42:42,031
Well, we can't go to breakfast
without you.

2199
01:42:42,116 --> 01:42:44,284
- Come on, we're celebrating.
- Come on, let's go.

2200
01:42:44,952 --> 01:42:45,952
I'm in.

2201
01:42:46,036 --> 01:42:48,454
Breakfast is the most important meal
of the morning.

2202
01:42:50,791 --> 01:42:51,874
We good?

2203
01:42:52,960 --> 01:42:54,794
Yeah. We're good.

2204
01:42:55,296 --> 01:42:57,547
- I'm gonna go back down.
- Your ankle is broken, Clay.

2205
01:42:57,631 --> 01:42:59,674
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Yes.

2206
01:42:59,758 --> 01:43:01,134
You left this in your room.

2207
01:43:01,218 --> 01:43:02,969
I did. Thank you. I'm sorry.

2208
01:43:03,304 --> 01:43:04,637
And also this.

2209
01:43:05,139 --> 01:43:07,473
Thank you, Doctor. Here.

2210
01:43:08,559 --> 01:43:09,559
No.

2211
01:43:09,643 --> 01:43:11,037
- You guys wanna get out of here?
- Let's go.

2212
01:43:11,061 --> 01:43:13,479
No. I'm not getting in that.
I ordered us an Uber.

2213
01:43:13,564 --> 01:43:14,564
Carol?

2214
01:43:14,648 --> 01:43:17,734
I don't mean this in a creepy way,
but get in the van.

2215
01:43:17,818 --> 01:43:19,485
Yeah, we got to keep this train rolling.

2216
01:43:19,570 --> 01:43:20,570
No.

2217
01:43:20,654 --> 01:43:23,072
No! You cannot have alcohol
on your medication.

2218
01:43:23,157 --> 01:43:25,325
Fuck that. Drinking is medication.

2219
01:43:25,409 --> 01:43:27,209
Doctor, this is a...
This is a work breakfast.

2220
01:43:27,286 --> 01:43:29,162
There will be no alcohol at all.

2221
01:43:29,246 --> 01:43:30,246
Okay?

2222
01:43:32,082 --> 01:43:33,374
Yeah.

2223
01:43:33,459 --> 01:43:34,500
I saw that.

2224
01:43:34,585 --> 01:43:37,045
Doctor, I assure you. I am in charge.

2225
01:43:37,129 --> 01:43:39,172
There will be no more partying.

2226
01:43:40,883 --> 01:43:42,842
I'm literally standing
right in front of you.

2227
01:43:42,926 --> 01:43:44,135
I'm literally right here.

2228
01:43:44,219 --> 01:43:46,596
I just don't know what it is
you think that I'm not seeing.

2229
01:43:46,680 --> 01:43:49,557
Doctor, I would never disobey
medical advice.

2230
01:43:51,810 --> 01:43:53,102
Just go, just go.

2231
01:43:53,187 --> 01:43:54,247
It's an office thing. Here we go.

2232
01:43:54,271 --> 01:43:55,332
- Merry Christmas.
- Let's go.

2233
01:43:55,356 --> 01:43:56,689
Let's roll it into the car.

2234
01:43:56,774 --> 01:43:58,274
Okay, Happy Holidays.

2235
01:43:58,442 --> 01:43:59,901
Thank you for your service, Doctor.

2236
01:44:00,110 --> 01:44:01,652
Okay.

2237
01:44:02,529 --> 01:44:03,988
- Okay.
- You need any help

2238
01:44:04,073 --> 01:44:05,175
working your way out of here?

2239
01:44:05,199 --> 01:44:07,492
Please, Josh. I was born in a U-Haul.

2240
01:44:15,376 --> 01:44:16,542
Hey, Carol!

2241
01:44:17,044 --> 01:44:19,462
- Are you Carol?
- What? No.

2242
01:44:19,797 --> 01:44:21,839
Are you sure? You look like a Carol.

2243
01:44:23,550 --> 01:44:26,010
Can you not hear me? Carol!

2244
01:44:26,720 --> 01:44:28,096
Carol!

2245
01:44:32,267 --> 01:44:33,643
Canceled?

2246
01:44:33,727 --> 01:44:35,812
Bunch of bitches!

2247
01:44:36,814 --> 01:44:39,065
You know red lights
are just suggestions.

2248
01:44:39,149 --> 01:44:41,192
Are you smoking
a marijuana cigarette right now?

2249
01:44:43,487 --> 01:44:46,030
Yeah! See, we made it through.
Let's do another.

2250
01:45:03,006 --> 01:45:04,507
Not again.

2251
01:45:07,636 --> 01:45:08,636
Let me do it again.

2252
01:45:08,720 --> 01:45:10,200
Let me just do it again. I can do it.

2253
01:45:10,681 --> 01:45:12,014
Damn it. All right.

2254
01:45:14,184 --> 01:45:15,643
Shit, shit!

2255
01:45:18,522 --> 01:45:19,791
If you want to make it in this world,

2256
01:45:19,815 --> 01:45:20,815
learn to lie better.

2257
01:45:21,817 --> 01:45:23,276
Your mother's never coming back.

2258
01:45:23,360 --> 01:45:24,861
Merry Christmas!

2259
01:45:28,907 --> 01:45:30,009
Okay, I'm gonna suck my dick.

2260
01:45:30,033 --> 01:45:31,344
She's gonna suck it on this one, guys.

2261
01:45:31,368 --> 01:45:33,911
Guys, can we go back to one
for sucking my dick?

2262
01:45:38,542 --> 01:45:41,794
I like it 'cause it looks like
he's trying just a little too hard.

2263
01:45:41,879 --> 01:45:42,879
The artist?

2264
01:45:42,963 --> 01:45:44,797
I hadn't thought about the artist.

2265
01:45:44,882 --> 01:45:47,341
Was this not where you had the key

2266
01:45:47,426 --> 01:45:49,051
to the city of Margaritaville?

2267
01:45:49,136 --> 01:45:52,722
Yeah, I did. I got rid of it.

2268
01:45:56,852 --> 01:45:58,019
Canadian cinema

2269
01:45:58,103 --> 01:46:00,229
with a concentration
in French-Canadian cinema.

2270
01:46:00,314 --> 01:46:02,982
Canadian music
with a concentration in Rush.

2271
01:46:03,233 --> 01:46:04,817
Canadian linguistics.

2272
01:46:18,916 --> 01:46:21,167
He used all of his inheritance...

2273
01:46:21,919 --> 01:46:24,086
He used all of his...

2274
01:46:24,963 --> 01:46:27,131
He used all of his inheritance.

2275
01:46:27,216 --> 01:46:28,883
It's a hard word to say.

2276
01:46:28,967 --> 01:46:33,137
To keep this branch afloat
with his in-her-i-tance.

2277
01:46:41,897 --> 01:46:45,691
"Hi, I'm Carol.
I have the shingles again."

2278
01:46:45,776 --> 01:46:48,444
"I'm Carol.
Has anyone seen my TV Guide?"

2279
01:46:48,529 --> 01:46:51,113
"I'm Carol. Change frightens me."

2280
01:46:51,198 --> 01:46:53,324
"We have to put Carol down. She's old."

2281
01:47:02,125 --> 01:47:05,503
Andrew from the copy room
told me that he had mono.

2282
01:47:05,587 --> 01:47:07,213
And I said that I wanted to get mono

2283
01:47:07,297 --> 01:47:09,840
because I wanted to take
a month off from work.

2284
01:47:09,925 --> 01:47:11,801
And I kissed him deeply.

2285
01:47:13,136 --> 01:47:14,720
And I didn't get mono!

2286
01:47:17,015 --> 01:47:18,641
Okay, reset.