Okay, last lap of the race!
Right turn coming up on the radar.
Doin' it!
Boost me!
Whoa! Whoa! What do you think you're doing?
Uhhhhh... Uhhhhh...
How many times do I have to explain
what "Authorized Personnel Only" means?
Are you authorized personnel, boys?
Are you?
-No, sir. Sorry, sir. -No, sir. Sorry, sir.
Now, get down and give me 50!
-Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. -Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.
Is what I would have said if you hadn't have gotten
the highest score in "Space Racer Deluxe" I've ever seen.
You mean that video game?
That isn't a video game, boys.
It's a racing simulator for the Station Racing League!
The Interstation 5000,
an annual competition between all the stations in the area.
For five years, the Space Bushes held the Interstation trophy,
but this could be the year I finally beat Tanner
and win that milk can!
Ohhh, when I feel that milk pour over my body,
it'll be like I'm born again as a champion!
I need you boys to race for me.
-Okay. -Okay.
Why are we here?
Uh, you're the pit crew.
How are we gonna be the pit crew?
This is crazy. Are we gonna get trained?
You think I haven't thought of that?
Meet Hans and Lars.
They're our best racers,
or at least they were
until you guys beat their high score in the racing simulator.
What? These nobodies beat our score?
That's impossible!
Well, it was an accident.
Yeah, we didn't know it was gonna be that easy.
Easy?!
Did you say "easy"?
Aw, now, don't get all sour, Larsy.
Everyone loses their edge at some point.
Edge?! We have edge.
Yeah, look at the edges.
We were born to race.
And that's why you're gonna teach Mordecai, Rigby,
and their crew everything you know.
No. No, no, no, no, no. Nein, nein. Nein.
We do not "teach."
Well, you certainly haven't
brought home the milk can for me in years,
so I think it's time to try something new.
Rawls, wait!
Just get 'em ready for the big race.
Hooah!
So, what's first?
What's first is us.
We are always first.
Get it through your little head.
We have better things to do than babysit you babies.
Yeah, my cappuccino's now cold,
and it's going to take me a while to make a new one.
Sorry.
Okay.
I've always hated hot-shot racers.
Well, what are we gonna do?
I mean, video simulators are one thing,
but I have no idea what to do with this big hunk of metal.
Well, I can teach ya.
All: Toothpick Sally?!
Were you under there the whole time?
Yeah, I grew up around these tracks.
And first of all, they're not big hunks of metal.
They're BHM racers. That's lesson one.
Now, if you do what I say, I can get you up to speed.
Yeah, but aren't Hans and Lars, like, the best racers ever?
Yeah, well, who do you think taught them?
Was it you?
Yes!
Let's just get started.
-Yeah! Whoo! -Awesome!
They're ready.
Announcer: Welcome to the Interstation 5000,
sponsored by Anderson Farms Dairy.
That's your best team, huh, Rawls?
We're getting that can back to the Space Tree, Tanner!
That milk is gonna be all over my body.
Huh. Looks like the Space Bush is a no-show.
Howdy, losers.
What the heck? You guys work for the Space Tree.
Not anymore. We're racing for Herr Tanner now.
Tanner! You lousy --
May the best team win.
It's the moment you've been waiting for, folks.
Racer roll call!
Both: Space Tree, check!
Both: Space Rock, check!
Both: Space Flower, check!
Both: Space Mushroom, hai!
Both: Space Bush, check.
Both: Space Log, check!
Anti one straight four.
Anti one straight four, check.
Initiate track rail gun!
Aah! Aah!
Whoa. Whoa.
Turn's coming up!
-Open right! -Open right, check!
Looks like Hans and Lars of Space Bush
have taken the immediate lead
while racers from Log and Mushroom
try to close the gap.
Aah! Aah!
Hey, Jolene, we got some tree boys over here.
Looks like they could use an arborist.
We're losing ground!
-Huh?
Rigby, what's over this hill?
I don't know. It's just a bunch of blobs!
-Battening shield. -Battening shield check!
-Takeshi! Tate! -Tate!
Dude, do we have a shield?
I don't know! I don't see a button for it!
What's one little hole, right?
Asteroid field! Asteroid field!
I just wanted to win that milk can!
Fix the hole! Fix the hole!
With what?!
I don't know! Just fix it!
Keep it still!
I got it!
What'd you do?!
I didn't do anything!
-Pit crew, to your stations!
Mordecai and Rigby, stand by.
Entering atmosphere.
Where's that pit ship?
Right here!
Ow!
Huh?
It's Hans and Lars's ratchet bot!
They've been sabotaging you this whole time!
We're getting too close to the surface!
We got to get out of here!
Hans: Prepare for core dive.
Core dive, check!
Wow, those guys are really not living anymore.
Oh.
Other racers, coming up!
Car insurance.
Car insurance, check.
-Aah! -Ugh!
Announcer: Well, folks, looks like they've gone
so deep inside the planet's crust, we've lost the signal.
Nothing to do now but see who comes out the other side
for the win!
Come on! Come on!
Core coming up!
We need more speed!
I'm ejecting the body -- I think.
Dudes, why are you being such jerks?
You think you just get to come into space,
beat us at the simulator,
then expect us to train you to replace us?
This is about you and us!
-Both: Aah!
Hey, Rigby, how'd we beat their score in the simulator?
Good question, Mordecai.
Didn't we use a speed stick and win?
I don't remember. Let's find out.
We're getting close to the finish line!
Uhh!
More speed!
Faster, Rigby!
Both: Uhhhh!
Uhhh -- okay!
Ugh!
Finish line is coming up.
Gravity's pulling us back in!
We won't get to the surface!
Our car is lighter than theirs.
We can make it.
Go! Get out there!
All right, getting out there, check!
Hm-Hm-Hm!
Ugh!
Huh!
Huh? Huh?
-Whoa! -Yeah, whoo!
Congratulations, boys!
You did a great job out there.
-Both: Thank you, sir. -Now, let's par-tay!
Yes, yes, all over my body.
Oh, so smooth.
Promise me.
I promise you!
I'll search the entire galaxy
to find out who poisoned your entrée.
It's the least I can do
now that I know you're my...mother.
s
What?! What?! now that I know No way! What?!
Whoa, Muscle Man, are you crying?
Yes, I'm crying.
I'm feeling deep emotions and they're expressing themselves
physically on my face.
It's part of what makes me a man.
Ugh! Are you guys watching "Lazer Hunters"?
Why is everybody at the station addicted to it?
Yeah, it's so cheesy.
Oh, get over yourselves.
This show is a cultural phenomenon.
It's ending next week. Give it a chance.
Mm. I don't know.
Brick? Yes?
Mother never wanted us to meet,
but now that she's gone, I can tell you...
I'm your identical twin Angelo.
Whoa. Okay.
Maybe we can give it a shot.
Ooh!
That was really good.
Dude, we gotta catch up before the finale next week.
How many seasons are there?
Eight. If you start watching now,
you just barely have enough time to catch up.
But only if you use this mayonnaise jar as a toilet.
Thanks. Dude, weren't we supposed to do something
for Benson before we walked in here?
Uh... vacuum the floors?
But we could put that off till later.
You're probably right.
No, Mr. President!
Don't open that birthday present!
No! No!
Bros, you did it!
You watched 168 hours of "Lazer Hunters."
And you're just in time for the finale.
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! So many questions!
Like, what was the deal with the space lizard cold open?
Was Brick's cousin's salsa in the safety deposit box?
Why was there a squid in the percolator?!
Who made the holotape that tipped off the colonel?!
Not so dumb anymore, is it?
And now, finally,
the finale will answer all our questions!
Mordecai and Rigby.
Oh, hey, Benson.
We were just about to watch the "Lazer Hunters" finale.
No, you're not, because you and Mordecai
are going to go vacuum the floors in the house right now!
Just like I told you to a week ago!
Aw, Benson.
Can't we just vacuum after? Now.
The house is all the way on the other side of the station! Don't care.
The finale will be over by the time we get back! Go.
How are we gonna get back here without hearing spoilers?
Go vacuum the house!
Ugh! Ugh!
Whoa, tough break, guys.
Whatever shall you do?
Both: Hm-Hm-Hm-Hm!
You want me to record it for you so you can watch it later?
Both: Hm-Hm-Hm-Hm!
Give me the tape.
Both: Hm-Hm-Hm! Hm-Hm-Hm-Hm!
I just hope they can make it back
before they hear any spoilers.
This is gonna work.
Yeah, The sooner we get this done,
the sooner we can watch that tape.
Oh, no! "Lazer Hunters" is ending right now, dude!
Dude, don't panic.
We got some time before we're at risk of spoilers.
Muscle Man: Bros!
Bros, you won't believe how "Lazer Hunters" ends!
Operation: Hear No Evil -- phase one.
Bros!
Bros?
Here it is -- Operation: Hear No Evil.
Everything you need to avoid spoilers.
Two years ago, the ending
of the Carter and Briggs movie was spoiled for us,
and what did we vow, Rigby?
That it would never happen again.
Okay, step one -- Go off the grid.
Phone.
Whoa! You could have just turned them off!
I mean, either way. What's step two?
Headphones.
Okay, step three --
Get to the tape! What?!
We have to go back to the barracks for the tape! Oh, yeah.
And remember -- everybody and their brother
is gonna be talking about this,
so we gotta get there as fast as we can!
Got it!
Guys?
Where are they?
I don't know the answer to that question, bro.
But I can tell you
that these floors have not been vacuumed.
I see.
How does it end? What?
"Lazer Hunters." I'm gonna ruin it for them.
But -- How...
does...it...end?
Both: La la la la la la la!
Huh?
When the beam kills... How about that...
Never saw that coming in a million years!
The batteries must be dead!
What do we do now?!
Operation: Hear No Evil back-up plan --
Earplugs!
Bleah! Bleah! Hah!
Both: Hm-Hm-Hm-Hm!
It's not the texture so much, it's the smell.
Oh, hey, Benson. What are you doing here?
I'm waiting here so I can spoil
the "Lazer Hunters" finale for Mordecai and Rigby.
Why do you want to spoil it?
It's gonna totally ruin their day.
Oh, boo-hoo-hoo!
You know my day was ruined
when Rawls got on my case about getting the dome in shape.
Vacuuming the house was the last step!
Mordecai and Rigby don't take anything seriously.
I mean, we're supposed to take the dome out on our own soon!
Spoiler alert for our mission -- we fail out there!
We fail spectacular...ly?
Fine!
I'm glad we're in the air ducts!
The acoustics in here are perfect for spoilers!
Both: La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la la!
La la la la la la la!
La la la la la la la la la la!
No!
Nothing but net.
You catch that finale, Sally?
I couldn't believe Zolthar's bones were in the --
La la la la la la la la la la la la la!
La la la la la la la la la!
What now?! "In case of emergency, get to a safe room!"
If we loop back to the barracks, we can lock Benson out!
Hey!
Whoa!
Sorry! We're just borrowing them!
Excuse me. Have you seen two idiots?
It's very important that I spoil "Lazer Hunters" for them.
Spoilers, huh? That's cold.
You know, I used to teach quantum physics.
Then my brother-in-law
spoiled the "Egg Baby Bonanza" finale for me.
I tell you, I fell into a pit of despair.
Quit my job, lost my house,
rolled a big rock down a hill onto my brother-in-law.
Just made some bad choices.
Now I sweep up trash for scraps like a gutter urchin.
Because of those spoilers, I have nothing.
That's perfect! So have you seen them?
Yeah, right over there.
Hey! Hey! I live in that!
Get ready.
You're gonna to hear this spoiler.
Huh?
And now, for the losers who missed it,
here are all of the best scenes
from the "Lazer Hunters" finale!
Ahh! Spoilers!
Where do we go?! Shortcut! Shortcut!
Get ready.
Jump!
Whoa!
Oh!
I think I'm really hurt.
No time!
Locking barracks!
We're safe! Let's do this!
Yes! Finally!
Benson: I just wanted the carpets vacuumed.
Pack it up, guys.
You failed.
Hey, buddy.
Let's not do anything rash.
All those hours spent planning and planning
and running away from me.
All that time and energy wasted
on Operation: Hear No Evil.
Now I'm gonna spoil "Lazer Hunters"
once and for all.
La la la la! No.
Benson's not gonna do that to us.
And why is that?
'Cause you don't know the last phase
of Operation: Hear No Evil.
Oh, give it up.
You and I both know
there's nothing in that backpack that's gonna change my mind.
Not even...
the finale of "Dr. Whiskers, M.D."?!
Okay, wait.
Uh, let's not do anything we'd regret.
Dude, what?
Oh, just Benson's favorite show.
He was binge-watching it right before we left Earth, but...
I never got to see the finale.
Wait, so what's on the tape?
The last 10 seconds of that finale --
Dr. Whiskers' big reveal!
Mordecai.
It's up to you, Benson.
Let us watch the "Lazer Hunters" finale in peace,
or we spoil your cat show.
You're bluffing.
And so, after months of unbelievable twists and turns,
I will finally reveal whose paws
were behind the murders of the Calico Crew!
No! Stop it! Stop!
Truce?
Truce.
You can vacuum the floors after you watch the finale.
Both: Whoooooa!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
We did it, dude! It's happening!
The "Lazer Hunters" finale!
You get to the part where LeFever dies yet?
Ugh! Ugh!
Dude, I told you to lock the door!
Whoops. My bad.
Seriously, though, that ending's almost as good
as the end of "Dr. Whiskers, M.D."
Can you believe Fuzzmeister Fuzzball
killed the Calico Crew?
Well, bye.