IN THE BATTLEGROUND OF THE FUTURE, YOU'LL NEED...
LASER-SHARP VISION, LASER-FAST REFLEXES.
[ PANTING ]
HAH! UHH!
AND MOST OF ALL,
YOU'LL NEED TO KNOW HOW FIRE A LASER!
PEW, PEW, PEW, PEW, PEW!
[ Robotically ] CRITICAL DAMAGE! CRITICAL DAMAGE!
BEEP, BEEP!
[ IMITATES POWERING DOWN ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
AW, YEAH-AH!
WHO'S READY FOR LASER-POCALYPSE?
THAT'S SO COOL YOU GOT A FOUR-FOR-ONE PASS.
YEAH, LASER-POCALYPSE GAVE THEM TO US
AFTER I DID THAT INVESTIGATIVE PIECE --
"LASER TAG -- FUN GAME OR FUNNEST GAME?"
THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN!
IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE ALL HUNG OUT.
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ] YEAH?
LET ME GUESS -- YOU FORGOT. FORGOT WHAT?
YOUR BROTHER'S FIFTH-DEGREE JUDO CEREMONY!
TAE KWON DO, SHERM.
WHATEVER!
OH, IS THAT TONIGHT?
DON'T YOU USE
THE "WAS THAT TONIGHT?" EXCUSE ON ME.
I TAUGHT YOU THAT!
NOW, LOOK! IF I GOT TO BE HERE, YOU GOT TO BE HERE!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
YOUR DAD? TELL HIM I SAID HI.
EILEEN SAYS HI.
HI, EILEEN!
HI, EILEEN!HI, EILEEN! HI, EILEEN!HI, EILEEN!
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] UGH!
I GOT TO GO TO DON'S TAE KWON DUMB THING TONIGHT
FOR HIS STUPID BLACK BELT.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I EMBROIDERED THIS CELEBRATORY HEADBAND FOR HIM.
[ ASIAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
I STILL THINK IT COULD USE MORE DRAGONS.
COME ON, RIGBY. DON'T WANT TO KEEP SHERM WAITING.
UGGGGH!
RIGBY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC?
Dude! What the heck?
You can't leave me alone with Margaret.
It's fine. You're just hanging out as friends.
Yeah, but I don't know if she's gonna be cool with that.
ARE YOU OKAY BEING ALONE WITH MORDECAI?
I THINK SO.
WE HAVEN'T HUNG OUT BY OURSELVES IN A WHILE, SO...
SO...?
HEY, WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS.
WELL, EITHER WAY...
BE STRONG.BE STRONG.
THIS IS FAMILIAR, RIGHT?
YEAH, LAST TIME WE WERE AT THE MOVIES TOGETHER,
WE WERE...
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
BUT TONIGHT, WE'RE FRIENDS ON A FUN NIGHT OUT.
[ CHUCKLES ] RIGHT.
MARGARET SMITH REPORTING LIVE ON LOCATION OF A FUN NIGHT OUT.
UH...NO CAMERAS.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
[ BOTH SIGH ]
OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.
HMM.
OOH! I'VE HEARD GOOD THINGS ABOUT "LOVEY SHOVEY."
EUHHHHHH.
HOW ABOUT...THAT ONE?
"CARTER AND BRIGGS.
HEAVILY ARMED: THE VIOLENCETOWN FILES"?
ALL RIGHT.
YO! GOT SOME POPCORN.
NICE!
[ AUDIENCE CHEERING ]
IT'S STARTING.
CARTER...BRIGGS...7!
HEAVILY ARMED!
[ GUN COCKS, GUNFIRE ]
[ ACTION MUSIC PLAYS ]
WHOO! YES!
YEAH! ALL RIGHT!
[ CLUNK, PROJECTOR SLOWS ]
WHA-UH?
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
SORRY, EVERYBODY.
OUR PRINT OF "CARTER AND BRIGGS 7"
HAS JUST SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED.
[ AUDIENCE BOOS ]
SO, IN ITS PLACE, WE WILL SCREEN
"CARTER AND BRIGGS 6: THE HEART SHAPED BADGE."
ENJOY!
[ PROJECTOR WHIRRING ]
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
OOH! I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS ONE.
[ CARIBBEAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
AH. VACATION.
NO CRIME, NO GUNS.
BRIGGS, THERE GOES THAT CUTE WAITRESS AGAIN.
OHHHHHHHHHHHH.
DON'T WORRY, CARTER.
OVER THE NEXT 3 1/2 HOURS, I'LL HELP YOU GET WITH HER.
SHE DEFINITELY STILL LIKES YOU.
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS GIVE HER A SIGN.
[ GASPS ]
YOU KNOW, I THINK I'VE SEEN THIS ONE.
LET'S GO.
O...KAY.
[ ENGINES BUZZING ]
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
MM-HMM. MM-HMM. NOTHING ROMANTIC HERE.
BUNCH OF DUDES DRIVING FAST, GAS FUMES, NOISY ENGINES.
[ HORNS HONK ] WHAT'S THAT?
EXACTLY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IF I COULD HAVE YOUR ATTENTION.
TONIGHT AIN'T JUST ANY NIGHT HERE AT KARTIN' SAFARI,
'CAUSE TONIGHT'S MY 15-YEAR ANNIVERSARY
TO MY BEAUTIFUL MARY-LEE.
AIN'T NOBODY MAKE MY ENGINE REV LIKE YOU, DARLIN'.
I LOVE YOU, BABY!
I LOVE YOU, WAYNE!
IN HONOR OF THIS BLESSED OCCASION,
FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT, IT'LL BE LAPS FER LOVERS.
SO STRAP IN AND SNUGGLE UP.
UH, I DON'T KNOW. IT LOOKS PRETTY TIGHT.
I CALL DRIVER'S SEAT!
YOUR TURN, STRINGBEAN.
COME ON, MORDECAI. LET'S HIT THE TRACK.
OH! NOW, DON'T BE SHY.
SHE WON'T BITE! AAH!
GO AHEAD, NOW. SCOOCH TOGETHER.
[ GRUNTING ]
[ GRUNTS ]
[ SIGHS ] MAYBE TRY PUTTING YOUR ARM AROUND HIM?
LIKE THIS?
NOW PULL HIS LEG IN.
UH...I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
[ ASIAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ CROWD CHEERING ] YEAH! TAKE HIM DOWN!
NOW, THERE'S A SON I CAN BE PROUD OF!
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ] YEAH?
DUDE, THIS WHOLE "FRIENDS" THING IS NOT WORKING OUT.
WHAT? WHY? I'M TRYING TO DO FRIEND STUFF, AND IT KEEPS TURNING ROMANTIC.
AWESOME!
NO, NOT AWESOME.
MARGARET'S STILL TOTALLY INTO ME.
SURE, SURE. I NEED A BREAK FROM ALL THE DRAMA.
YEAH, YEAH, YOU DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.
OH! HERE COMES THE BEST PART!
HEY, MAN, I GOT TO GO,
BUT HAVE FUN WITH MARGARET TONIGHT.
[ CROWD CHEERING ]
All: DON! DON! DON! DON!
[ RADIO TUNING ]
* ROLLIN' HARD WITH MY BOYS, YOU KNOW HOW WE DO *
* TEAR IT UP AT THE CLUB, OUT TILL 1 OR MAYBE 2 *
* EXCEPT THAT IT'S TUESDAY
* MY DAY TO STAY AT HOME WITH MY LADY *
[ TIRES SCREECH ] * PLAYIN' BOARD GAMES AND CUDDLIN' BY THE FIRE *
[ TIRES SCREECH ] WHOA! WHOA, MORDECAI!
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] SO... SEE ANY PLACE YOU WANT TO EAT?
OH, HEY! THERE'S STEAK ME AMADEUS.
I DON'T KNOW. THE LAST TIME DIDN'T GO SO WELL.
RIGHT.
OR...MR. YAKIHANA-SAMA.
THAT JAPANESE PLACE WHERE THEY GRILL THE FOOD IN FRONT OF YOU?
ISN'T IT REALLY SMOKY IN THERE?
YOU CAN BARELY SEE THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO YOU.
[ GASPS ] WORKS FOR ME.
[ BRAKES SQUEAK ]
[ ASIAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
SO, WHERE SHOULD WE SIT?
HOW ABOUT...THERE?
UH, THE ONE WITH THE SUPER-OLD CHEF
IN UNFLATTERINGLY HARSH LIGHTING?
YEAH -- THE ONE RIGHT BY THE BATHROOM.
LET'S GO.
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
[ SNORING ]
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
HAI!
I AM DAISUKE. PLEASED TO SERVE YOU TONIGHT.
EH? EH?
[ CLATTER ]
SO, LET ME GUESS.
ANNIVERSARY?
WHAT? NO!
AHA.
FIRST DATE.
OH, N-N-N-N-N-N-NO.
WHAT IS THIS?
I SEE ONE BOY AND ONE GIRL.
WE ARE A BOY AND A GIRL,
BUT WE'RE BOY AND GIRL FRIENDS.
[ CHUCKLES ] I MEAN --
SOUND LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.
TELL YOU WHAT --
I WILL DO THE ROMANTIC SHOW FOR YOU FREE OF CHARGE.
AND WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO --
[ SHING! ] [ GULPS ]
HEY, WHAT THE -- I SAID NO --
[ SHING! ] [ COUGHS ]
I COULD SILENCE YOU WITH SHRIMP ALL NIGHT.
IT'S JUST DINNER, MORDECAI.
YES, KEEP UP ROMANTIC FARCE JUST FOR DESSERT.
[ SIGHS ] FINE. BUT ONLY 'CAUSE I'M --
[ SHING! ] [ GULPS ]
HUNGRY.
**
THAT'S IT!
WHY DOES THE WHOLE UNIVERSE WANT US TO GET TOGETHER?
YOU NOTICED IT, TOO?
I'VE BEEN KEEPING TRACK OF ALL THE WEIRD STUFF TONIGHT.
I'M A REPORTER.
WHAT COULD IT MEAN?
I LIKE LISTS. SORRY.
[ SIGHS ] WHAT IS GOING ON, MARGARET?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE GOING ON, MORDECAI?
WOW. YOU TWO ARE PRETTY MESSED UP.
I ONLY KNOW YOU FOR ONE HOUR,
AND ALREADY, I'M TIRED
OF THE "WILL THEY OR WON'T THEY" TENSION.
SORRY.SORRY.
WHAT IF THERE WAS A WAY
TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU GOT TOGETHER?
WOULDN'T YOUR CHOICE BE CLEAR THEN? EH?
[ SHING! SHING! SHING! ]
AN ONION?
IT'S NOT THE ONION THAT IS CLEVER.
IT IS THE SAUCE.
LOOK AT THE HAPPY COUPLE.
WHOA. IT'S US.
[ LAUGHS ]
MARGARET, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
YES!
SWEET -- OUR VERY OWN HOUSEBOAT!
All: WHOOOOOOOOOA!
WE HAVE TO BE FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE.
[ KA-CHING! ]
MALLORY! DON'T FORGET YOUR LUNCH.
ARE YOU CARPOOLING TODAY?
YOUR CHILDREN WILL BECOME A PRO VIDEO GAME TEAM
AND SUPPORT YOU WELL INTO OLD AGE.
AND FINALLY,
AFTER 50 WONDERFUL YEARS TOGETHER,
YOU DIE PEACEFULLY.
UH...UH...
YOU...DON'T LIKE?
IT'S JUST A LOT TO TAKE IN.
MARGARET, YOU'RE REALLY COOL,
AND OUR FUTURE LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE COOL, TOO.
BUT AFTER SEEING ALL THAT, I'M SURE OF WHAT I WANT NOW.
I THINK IT WOULD BE BEST IF WE WERE JUST FRIENDS.
[ SIGHS ]
I AM SO RELIEVED TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT.
I THOUGHT I KNEW WHAT I WANTED,
BUT WE'RE STILL YOUNG, MORDECAI.
AND I'M DEFINITELY NOT READY FOR ALL THAT.
I MEAN, I HAVE A CAREER.
I THINK I JUST WANT TO...
Both: LIVE IN THE MOMENT.
Both: TAKE IT EASY ON RELATIONSHIPS RIGHT NOW.
Both: IT'S THE BEST THING FOR THE BOTH OF US.
[ DAISUKE CLEARS THROAT ]
THANKS FOR WASTING MY TIME.
AM I GOING TO HAVE TO THROW THIS COUPLES SUNDAE IN TRASH?
LAST CHANCE.
COUPLE? JUST FRIENDS?
COUPLE?
JUST FRIENDS?
JUST FRIENDS.JUST FRIENDS.
I AM OKAY WITH THAT.
NOW, TAKE THE SOFT-SERVE CONES OF FRIENDSHIP.
WOULD YOU LIKE THE SPRINKLES OF FRIENDSHIP?
YES!YEAH!
HUP! [ WHIP! WHIP! ]
THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT FRIENDS' NIGHT OUT.
AGREED.
SEPARATE CHECKS, WHEN YOU READY.
MORDO. WHAT IS IT, MARGIE?
THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS!
DO YOU THINK THEY CAN REALLY BE JUST FRIENDS FOREVER?
ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
LET'S GET BACK TO OUR RETIREMENT.
Both: MWAH!
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.
I'VE GOT A LOT OF MEETINGS TODAY WITH THE CITY PARK COUNCIL,
SO I NEED YOU -- [HORN HONKS]
I GOT A DELIVERY FOR BENSON.
[gasp] HE'S HERE!
HA HA! HE'S HERE!
"HE"?
EEE!
HA HA HA!
OH, HELLO THERE.
I'M BENSON.
CAN YOU SAY "BENSON"?
[ OINK ]
OH-HO-HO. GUYS, MEET APPLESAUCE!
I ADOPTED HIM THROUGH THE OINK FOUNDATION.
IT COST A FORTUNE TO OVERNIGHT HIM TO THE PARK.
WHO'S AN EXPENSIVE LITTLE GUY?
A PIG?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE MORE OF A CAT PERSON, BENSON.
NO, I'M DONE WITH CATS.
I'M A PIG PERSON NOW.
IT'LL BE GREAT TO HAVE SOME COMPANY AROUND THE HOUSE.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, LITTLE GUY?
OH, WHAT AN AMIABLE LITTLE SWINE.
OH, HA HA. APPLESAUCE IS MY FAVORITE FOOD.
I CAN SEE WHY YOU NAMED HIM THAT.
AND, LOOK!
HE EVEN HAS A LITTLE APPLE ON HIS ARM.
THAT'S JUST A BIRTHMARK.
MORDECAI AND RIGBY, CHANGE OF PLANS.
I'M STUCK HERE WITH MEETINGS UNTIL NOON,
SO I WANT YOU TO TAKE APPLESAUCE BACK
TO MY APARTMENT AND WATCH HIM.
HIS PEN IS ALREADY SET UP.
JUST MAKE SURE HE STAYS OUT OF TROUBLE.
WHOA! ALL WE GOTTA DO IS
WATCH A PIG FOR THREE HOURS?
HECK, YEAH, WE CAN DO THAT!
I'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE WHILE, APPLESAUCE!
SAY "BYE-BYE!"
BYE-BYE, BENSON.
BYE-BYE!
BYE BYE BYE!
AGH! I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE TO SIT AROUND
IN BENSON'S APARTMENT ALL MORNING.
IT SMELLS LIKE A HOSPITAL IN THERE.
DU...DE,
WE DON'T HAVE TO BE THERE FOR THREE HOU-RS.
WHOA-OA!
FREE PASS!
WHAT DO YOU SAY, APPLESAUCE?
YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US FOR THREE HOURS,
UNTIL YOU HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
WITH BENSON? I'LL TAKE THAT AS A "YES."
HANGIN' WITH APPLESAUCE!
[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]
WHOO!WHOO!
DUDE, WE'RE LIKE COOL UNCLES.
YOU WANT TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT, APPLESAUCE?
[ OINKS ]
AW, NICE! THEY HAVE BACON-WRAPPED HOT DOGS!
DUDE, YOU CAN'T GIVE THAT TO APPLESAUCE.
THAT'S HIS PEOPLE.
OH, YEAH. I'M A TERRIBLE UNCLE.
VEGGIE DOG, THEN, APPLESAUCE?
WHERE'D HE GO?
I DON'T KNOW. HE WAS HERE A SECOND AGO.
APPLESAUCE? APPLESAUCE!
[RING] HUH?
HEY-EY, BENSON. WHAT'S UP?
HEY, I'M GONNA BE HERE A LITTLE LONGER THAN I THOUGHT,
BUT I SHOULD BE HOME BY 12:30, AT THE LATEST.
MAY I SPEAK TO APPLESAUCE?
UH...
JUST A SEC.
AH!
[ SNORTING ]
OH, HO HO. HELLO, APPLESAUCE.
HELLO!
I HAVE A PIG NOW.
[ SNORTING ]
ALL RIGHT, APPLESAUCE, THAT'S ENOUGH.
I JUST WANT YOU GUYS TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME
THAT YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF MY LITTLE APPLESAUCE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM.
[ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS ]
[MUZAK PLAYS] WHY, HELLO, THERE, LITTLE PIG.
YOU WANT A BITE?
AAH! RABID PIG!
RABID PI-I-I-G!
[APPLESAUCE SQUEALING] -AAAAAAAAAAH!
[ SNARLING ]
GOTCHA!
WHAT'S ALL THAT NOISE?
UH, WE GOTTA GO. SEE YOU LATER, BENSON.
COME ON. [panting]
[ TIRES SCREECH ] WAIT! STOP!
AW, MAN!
[ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS ]
YEAH, THEY JUST BROUGHT IN A PIG A FEW MINUTES AGO.
I HEAR HE ATTACKED AN ELDERLY WOMAN
AND TRASHED UP A DOUGHNUT SHOP.
AW, COME ON! HE'S JUST A PIG. HE DOESN'T KNOW ANY BETTER!
LOOK, WE GOTTA GET HIM BACK TO BENSON'S APARTMENT
BY 12:30, OR HE'S GOING TO FIRE US!
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
THAT PLACE HAD THE BEST JELLY DOUGHNUTS IN TOWN.
THAT'S THE KIND OF THING COPS TAKE PERSONALLY.
[ OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS ]
ALL RIGHT, A LOT OF INNOCENT DOUGHNUTS
WENT TO WASTE TODAY, PIG.
WHY'D YOU DO IT?!
THIS LITTLE PIGGY'S GOIN' "WEE WEE WEE!"
ALL THE WAY TO JAIL, IF HE DOESN'T START TALKING!
WHAT DO WE GOT, BOYS?
IT'S NO USE, LOW FIVES.
THIS PIGGY AIN'T SQUEALIN'.
WELL, HE'S JUST A PIG.
THEY CAN'T TALK. RIGHT?
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK, THEN, BAM!
THEY SLIP RIGHT THROUGH YOUR FINGERS.
YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE MERV HERE.
HE'S... A LITTLE FIRED UP.
GIVE US A COUPLE MORE HOURS
AND WE'LL GET YOU SOME ANSWERS.
YEAH.
UNTIL THEN, HE AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERES!
[ OINKS ]
[ BUZZ ]
[ OINKS ] DUDE, THERE HE IS!
LOOKS LIKE LOW FIVES GOT HIM OUT.
COME ON, APPLESAUCE,
WE GOTTA HURRY UP AND GET YOU HOME.
WELL, I THINK THAT WAS ENOUGH FUN FOR ONE DAY.
YEAH, YOU GAVE US A RUN FOR OUR MONEY, LITTLE GUY.
WE THOUGHT YOU WERE SOME CRAZED CRIMINAL,
FOR A SECOND THERE.
[ LAUGHING ]
[ ALARM BLARES ]
UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, APPLESAUCE?
UH, MORDECAI?
[ PANTING ]
HUAH-AH! FLOOR IT, LEROY!
LEROY?
[ OINK-OINK ]
[ TIRES SQUEAL ]
AAAH!
ALL UNITS -- WE HAVE TWO ESCAPED CONVICTS
HEADING EAST IN A GOLF CART.
I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK FOR ME, LEROY.
TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH.
NOW, WE CAN GET BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE.
WHAT?
DIDN'T HE TELL YA?
ME AND HIM WERE THE BEST BANK ROBBERS IN THE COUNTRY.
[ BANJO PLAYS ]
EVERYBODY, GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!
SEE, I WAS THE BRAWN AND LEROY WAS THE BRAINS.
WE WERE A TEAM, ME AND HIM,
AND, LIKE MOST TEAMS, WE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES.
LOOSE CANNON? I AIN'T NO LOOSE CANNON!
[ SQUEALING ]
FINE! YOU WANNA BAIL, THEN BAIL!
I DON'T NEED YOU! I DON'T NEED ANYBODY!
I CAN DO THIS MYSELF!
UNFORTUNATELY, I COULD NOT.
[ GRUNTING ]
HUH? OH!
I HAD NO ONE ELSE TO TURN TO,
SO I USED MY ONE PHONE CALL ON LEROY.
I KNEW HE'D COME UP WITH SOME CRAFTY SCHEME
TO BUST ME OUT OF JAIL
'CAUSE NO ONE WOULD SUSPECT A CUTE LITTLE PIG.
SO APPLESAUCE SMASHED UP THAT DOUGHNUT SHOP
SO HE COULD GET ARRESTED ON PURPOSE?
YEP, HE GOT INTO JAIL SO HE COULD GET ME OUT.
NOW, I'M A FREE MAN.
WHOO! HA!
WHOA, WHOA! CHILL, DUDE.
WE DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE.
WE JUST WANT TO GET THE PIG BACK
TO OUR BOSS' APARTMENT BEFORE HE GETS BACK.
YOUR BOSS' APARTMENT?
[ SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE ]
[ GROANING ]
[ RING ]
HEY-EY, BENSON.
YEAH, WE'RE AT THE APARTMENT.
APPLESAUCE IS FINE.
GOOD. I'LL BE THERE IN 15 MINUTES.
DID APPLESAUCE GET INTO ANY TROUBLE?
NO. NO TROUBLE.
GOOD. DON'T BREAK ANYTHING!
DUDE, BENSON'S COMING.
AND HE TOLD US NOT TO BREAK ANYTHING.
BREAKING NEWS.
BANK ROBBER HARRY ROUGHAUSER
HAS JUST ESCAPED FROM JAIL.
WHILE THE SUSPECT HAS NEVER BEEN CONVICTED
OF ANY VIOLENT CRIMES,
HE SEEMS TO BREAK EVERYTHING IN HIS PATH.
DUDE, BENSON'S GOING TO BE HERE SOON.
WE GOTTA GET THIS GUY OUTTA HERE BEFORE
HE BREAKS EVERYTHING. GO TALK TO HIM.
WHAT?! AND GET MY FACE SMASHED IN?
UGH! FINE, I'LL DO IT.
HEY, MAN, I DON'T WANT TO BE PUSHY, OR ANYTHING,
BUT OUR BOSS IS GONNA BE HERE PRETTY SOON.
COULD YOU, LIKE, LEAVE?
I SEE HOW IT IS.
COME ON, LEROY, LET'S GO.
LEROY?
[ SNORT ]
HUH? YOU WANT TO STAY HERE?
BUT WE'RE A TEAM!
[ OINK OINK ] A NORMAL LIFE?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SPLIT US UP, IN THE FIRST PLACE.
HERE I AM, THINKIN' WE GOT ANOTHER SHOT, BUT NO,
LEROY WANTS A NORMAL LIFE.
WELL, HOW'S THIS FOR NORMAL? AGH!
AAAAH! UHH!
[ OINK-OINK ]
BUSTIN' ME OUT OF JAIL ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH!
I WANT TO ROB SOME BANKS SOME MORE!
ARRGGHH!
[ GASPS ]
[ OINKS ]
I'M PERFECTLY CALM!
WHY DON'T YOU CALM DOWN?!
ARRR!
WAAH!
[ ROARING ]
AAH! AAH!
[ GROWLING ]
DUDE, APPLESAUCE MADE HIS DECISION.
JUST LET HIM GO!
[ QUIETS ]
YOU'RE RIGHT.
URRR! RRHH!
I WOULDN'T BE MUCH OF A PARTNER
IF I DIDN'T RESPECT LEROY'S WISHES.
YOU SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, OLD FRIEND?
[ OINK ]
FINE. I UNDERSTAND.
MY LOVE OF BREAKIN' THINGS
HAS CLEARLY BROKEN THIS TEAM APART.
SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE.
I'LL BE ON MY WAY NOW.
DUDE, WE PULLED IT OFF.
APPLESAUCE IS HERE AND NOTHING GOT BROKEN.
YE-YEAH! Both: HUAH!
UHH, THERE'S A BUNCH OF COPS OUTSIDE.
[ SIRENS WAILING ]
[WHIRRING] WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
EVERYBODY, GET DOWN!
HUAH!HUAH!
AAAAH! AAH!
THIS IS IT, ROUGHAUSER!
COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!
NEVER! I'M NOT GOIN' DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!
THEN YOU LEAVE US NO CHOICE!
ALL UNITS!
[menacingly] BRING IN MORE BEAN BAGS.
[ GASPS ]AH!
HUH? UH-OH.
[ SLOW-MOTION GRUNTING ]
[ OINKING ]
ARRH!
[ PANTING ]
[ OINKING SADLY ]
NO, LEROY. JUST LET ME GO.
IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME.
THOSE NONLETHAL BEAN BAGS REALLY HURT.
IF ANYBODY DESERVES A LIFE OF LUXURY
IN THIS BEAUTIFUL ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT,
IT'S YOU.
[ OINK ]
[sadly] I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.
GOODBYE, PARTNER.
[ MELANCHOLY TUNE PLAYS ]
[ GRUNTING ]
SORRY ABOUT THE MESS.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LET'S GO.
[ WHISTLING ]
HEY-HEY, WHERE'S MY LITTLE GU-Y?
BENSON, WE GOTTA TALK TO YOU ABOUT APPLESAUCE.
[ THEME MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ LAUGHING ]