>> Benson: THIS IS IT, PEOPLE --
THE BIG DAY.
>> Hi Five: HUH?
>> Skips: WHAT BIG DAY?
>> Mordecai: WHAT IS HE TALKING
ABOUT?
>> Benson: POPS?
>> Pops: TODAY'S MY DAD'S
BIRTHDAY.
>> Hi Five: OH, YEAH.
I REMEMBER THAT.
>> Benson: SERIOUSLY?
DOES NO ONE READ THE E-MAILS I
SEND OUT?
>> Rigby: YEAH, BUT IT WAS JUST
OFFERS AND STUFF.
>> Benson: ANYWAY, EVERYBODY
KNOWS THAT MR. MAELLARD LOVES
SURPRISES, BUT THEY ALSO KNOW
THAT HE'S IMPOSSIBLE TO
SURPRISE.
>> Pops: IT MUST BE FROM HIS
TIME IN THE WAR.
HE SAYS HE ALWAYS SLEPT WITH HIS
EYES OPEN.
>> Benson:
THAT'S WHY I'VE COME UP WITH THE
PERFECT PLAN.
BAM! -- FAKE SURPRISE.
SEE, IT'LL GO DOWN LIKE THIS.
MAELLARD WILL SHOW UP LIKE...
>> HIYA, BENSON.
I'M HERE TO PICK UP POPS FOR MY
BIRTHDAY DINNER.
>> Benson: AND I'M GONNA BE
ALL...
WHAT? I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOUR
BIRTHDAY.
THAT'S WHEN I'LL TAKE HIM TO THE
SNACK BAR, WHERE -- BAM! -- FAKE
SURPRISE.
HE'LL BE SO THROWN OFF BY IT, HE
WON'T SUSPECT A THING WHEN I
TAKE HIM TO THE REAL PARTY.
>> WOW, BENSON.
THAT WAS THE PERFECT SURPRISE.
HERE'S $1 MILLION.
>> Benson: GEE!
THANKS, MR. MAELLARD.
YOU KNOW, IT WAS NOTHING,
REALLY.
>> Skips:
>> Benson: UH...SO, YEAH.
THAT'S HOW WE'RE GONNA DO IT.
>> Pops: OH, THAT PLAN SOUNDS
WONDERFUL, BENSON!
>> Benson: ALL RIGHT.
TIME FOR YOUR ASSIGNMENTS.
SKIPS, SET UP THE TABLE.
MUSCLE MAN AND HI FIVE GHOST, GO
BUY BALLOONS.
MORDECAI AND RIGBY, YOU'RE
PICKING UP THE CAKE.
>> Rigby: REALLY?!
>> Benson: YEP.
IT'S PREPAID AND EVERYTHING.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PICK IT
UP.
JUST GIVE THEM THE RECEIPT AND
BRING THE CAKE BACK.
THAT'S IT.
>> Rigby: AW, YEAH!
>> Both: * PICKIN' UP THE CAKE,
PICKIN' UP THE CAKE, PICKIN' UP
THE CAKE, GONNA DO IT GREAT *
>> Benson: JUST PICK UP THE CAKE
AND TRY NOT TO RUIN MY BIG DAY.
>> Mordecai: I THOUGHT IT WAS
MAELLARD'S DAY.
>> Benson: JUST PICK UP THE
CAKE!!
>> Rigby: MAN, THIS PLACE IS
PACKED!
WHY DOES EVERYONE NEED A CAKE
SO BAD?
>> Mordecai: DUDE, CHECK IT OUT.
THIS CAKE BENSON ORDERED IS
CRAZY EXPENSIVE.
>> Rigby: $130?!
>> Mordecai: YEAH.
BENSON'S REALLY GOING ALL OUT.
>> Rigby: HEY, MORDECAI, CHECK
OUT THAT LINE.
NOBODY'S IN IT.
>> Mordecai: IT SAYS, "PREPAID,"
SO, YEAH -- LET'S DO IT!
>> I GOT MY CAKE.
I GOT MY CAKE!
>> Mordecai: EXCUSE ME.
I'M HERE TO PICK UP A CAKE.
>> OH. IF YOU HAVE A PREPAID
RECEIPT, I CAN GET THAT FOR YOU.
>> Mordecai: YEAH, WE DO!
>> OKAY. IT'LL BE JUST A MINUTE.
>> EXCUSE ME!
I WAS HERE BEFORE THEY WERE.
>> SORRY, MA'AM, BUT PREPAID
CUSTOMERS TAKE PRIORITY.
>> HEY, YOU TWO!
THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M TALKING TO YOU BOZOS.
YOU JUST CUT THE LINE!
>> Mordecai: UH...
>> GET BACK HERE AND TAKE A
NUMBER LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!
>> Mordecai: WE DIDN'T CUT IN
LINE.
THIS IS THE PREPAID LINE.
>> OH-HO!
THAT'S A FINE EXCUSE -- FOR A
BUNCH OF LINE CUTTERS!
>> Mordecai: LOOK, WE DIDN'T
CUT, OKAY?!
THIS IS A SEPARATE LINE FOR
PEOPLE WITH PREPAID RECEIPTS.
>> BUT --
>> ALL RIGHT. HERE YOU GO.
>> Both: WHOA!
>> ALSO, YOU GUYS GET OUR LAST
FREE CAKE PASTRIES.
>> THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
I'VE BEEN HERE LONGER THAN
ANYBODY!
>> I'M SORRY, MA'AM, BUT THE
SIGN SAYS PREPAID CUSTOMERS GET
TENDED TO FIRST, SO MAYBE YOU
SHOULD LEARN HOW TO READ.
>> All: WH-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OA!
>> Mordecai: HA HA! OKAY.
THANKS FOR THE CAKE. BYE!
HEY, I'D SAY THIS JOB WAS A
PIECE OF CAKE.
>> Rigby:
AW, YEAH, IT WAS!
>> Mordecai: HAND ME ONE OF THEM
VICTORY PASTRIES.
>> Rigby: UH...
>> Mordecai: AW, MAN!
DID YOU EAT BOTH OF THEM?
>> Rigby: SORRY!
THE SECOND ONE JUST FELL IN MY
MOUTH!
>> Mordecai: UGH!
YOU'RE THE WORST.
>> Rigby: WHAT THE...?
LINE CUTTERS!
LINE CUTTERS GONNA GET CUT!
>> Rigby: AAAAAAAAAH!
SHE'S GOT A CAKE CUTTER!
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
>> Mordecai: TIME TO SHAKE THIS
CAKE WITCH!
>> Both: AAAAAAH!
HUH?
WAIT! WHAT DOES THAT SAY?!
AAH! I WISH I COULD READ!
>> OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
ROAD CAKE!
>> ROAD CAKE!
>> HMM.
TIME FOR THE MEETING WITH
ACCOUNTING.
IF WE'RE LATE, TOKYO WILL DROP
THE DEAL!
COME ON!
>> WHOO!
>> Mordecai: OH, BOY.
>> Benson: HELLO, MR. MAELLARD.
>> WHERE'S POPS?
WE'RE GONNA BE LATE TO MY
BIRTHDAY DINNER.
>> Benson: BIRTHDAY?
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY?
>> YES. AND I'M SURE YOU DON'T
HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED.
>> Benson:
OF COURSE. HOW COULD I?
I ONLY JUST NOW FOUND OUT ABOUT
IT -- JUST NOW!
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK POPS IS AT THE SNACK
BAR.
LET ME TAKE YOU THERE.
>> MM-HMM.
LET'S GO SEE "POPS AT THE SNACK
BAR."
>> Benson: RIGHT THIS WAY.
I'M TAKING PAPA EAGLE OUT TO THE
FIELD.
WE'LL BE BACK AT THE NEST
SHORTLY.
DO YOU COPY?
>> Skips: WHO'S THE EAGLE AGAIN?
>> Benson:
MAELLARD IS THE EAGLE.
IT WAS IN THE E-MAIL!
UGH!
>> OKAY. SO, I GET THAT YOU
DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR A
NEW CAKE, BUT YOU REALLY DON'T
KNOW HOW TO MAKE ONE?
ISN'T IT, LIKE, ONE OF YOUR FOOD
GROUPS?
>> Rigby: HEY, LESS JUDGY, MORE
CAKEY!
>> Mordecai: THERE'S NOT A LOT
OF TIME.
CAN YOU HELP US OR NOT?
>> Eileen: DOES ANGEL FOOD CAKE
COOL UPSIDE DOWN?
>> Both: UHHH...
>> Eileen: YES.
THE ANSWER IS "YES."
>> Rigby: YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!
THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN THE
CAKE BENSON BOUGHT!
HE SHOULD BE PAYING US!
>> Mordecai: COME ON.
LET'S GET THIS OUTSIDE.
>> Rigby: UH...
>> Mordecai: UH...
>> Rigby: EILEEN, WHAT DID YOU
DO?!
IT DOESN'T FIT OUT THE DOOR!
>> Eileen: HEY, I CAN'T DO THE
MATH IF I DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE
EQUATION.
>> Rigby: UGH!
>> Benson: I'M TAKING PAPA EAGLE
OUT TO THE FIELD.
WE'LL BE BACK AT THE NEST
SHORTLY.
DO YOU COPY?
>> Skips: WHO'S THE EAGLE AGAIN?
>> Benson: MAELLARD'S THE EAGLE.
IT'S IN THE E-MAIL!
>> Skips: HE KNOWS I DON'T DO
E-MAIL.
>> Hi Five: WHERE ARE MORDECAI
AND RIGBY?
>> Pops: OH, THEY SHOULD HAVE
BROUGHT THE CAKE BY NOW.
>> Skips: UGH!
LET'S GO FIND 'EM.
>> Pops: OH, THERE YOU ARE!
>> Muscle Man: WHAT'S THE
HOLDUP, BROS?
>> Rigby: IT'S NOT OUR FAULT!
THE CAKE WON'T GO OUTSIDE!
>> Skips: HOW'D IT GET INSIDE?
>> Rigby: THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!
>> Mordecai: LOOK, WE JUST NEED
TO GET IT OUTSIDE BEFORE BENSON
SHOWS UP WITH MR. MAELLARD.
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS?
>> Mordecai: WAY TO GO, DUDES.
YOU REALLY MESSED UP BIG.
>> Hi Five: YEAH!
BENSON'S GONNA BE REALLY BUMMED
OUT.
>> Both: UGH!
>> Rigby: IF ONLY THERE WAS A
WAY TO -- UGH!
OUTSIDE CAKE!
>> Pops: OOH, I MIGHT HAVE
SOMETHING, THEN!
AHA! HERE IT IS!
>> Rigby: WHAT IS IT?
>> Pops: IT'S MY
HANDY HOME MATTER MOVER.
I GOT IT IN THE 1950s.
>> GATHER 'ROUND! GATHER 'ROUND!
WHAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU WILL
REVOLUTIONIZE HOW YOU MOVE
THINGS!
LET ME INTRODUCE THE
HANDY HOME MATTER MOVER!
>> Pops: OH, MY!
>> DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
SAY THE MISSUS WANTS TO PUT A
VASE OF FLOWERS ON THE
DINING-ROOM TABLE, BUT SHE HAS
HER HANDS FULL WITH THE KIDS.
>> Pops: HMM?
>> WELL, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
KEY IN THE COORDINATES, AIM, AND
HIT THE SWITCH!
>> Pops: I'LL TAKE IT!
>> Mordecai: A TELEPORTER?!
IT'S PERFECT!
>> Both: HM-HM-HM-HM-HM!
>> WELL, I DON'T SEE POPS OUT
HERE.
>> Benson: ARE YOU SURE?
MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHECK BEHIND
THE COUNTER.
>> Thomas:
SURPRISE!
>> MY!
THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
>> Benson: RIGHT?
AND YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT YOUR
BIRTHDAY.
>> WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY
THOUGHTFUL OF YOU TO COME UP
WITH THIS ONE SURPRISE FOR ME.
>> Benson:
IT'S NO TROUBLE.
ONE SURPRISE IS THE LEAST
I CAN DO.
LET'S HEAD BACK TO THE HOUSE FOR
POPS.
>> YES. I'M SURE POPS IS VERY
LONELY, WAITING ALL BY HIMSELF.
>> Thomas: OH, OH, WAIT FOR ME!
OOF!
>> Hi Five: ARE YOU SURE THIS
WILL WORK?
>> Muscle Man: IT LOOKS REALLY
OLD.
>> Mordecai: OKAY.
I THINK I GOT IT.
>> Rigby: UH...
>> Benson: PAPA EAGLE IS COMING
TO THE ROOST.
GET THE EGGS READY!
>> Mordecai: COME ON! COME ON!
>> Muscle Man: HURRY UP, BRO!
>> Benson: I EXPECT THAT
EVERYONE'S READY TO CRACK THE
EGGS.
SORRY FOR ALL THE WORK CALLS,
BUT WE'VE GOT A REAL EAGLE
PROBLEM AT THE MOMENT.
BUT, ANYWAY, I'M SURE POPS IS
SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE.
>> I'M SURE HE IS.
>> Benson: SURPRI--
CAN YOU WAIT HERE?
>> Thomas: WHOA!
>> Skips: I THINK I ALMOST
GOT IT.
>> Benson: GAH!
>> Thomas: OH, THERE YOU GUYS
ARE.
>> Benson: DID I NOT MAKE MYSELF
PERFECTLY CLEAR?!
PAPA EAGLE IS OUT THERE AND NO
CAKE AND NO GUESTS!
WHAT PART OF "SURPRISE PARTY" DO
YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!
>> Mordecai: IT'LL BE FINE!
WE JUST HAD A FEW SETBACKS.
THERE WAS THIS ANGRY WOMAN...
>> Rigby: AND THESE
SHAGGY-LOOKING BUSINESS GUYS...
>> Mordecai: BUT C.J. AND EILEEN
HELPED US MAKE THIS BETTER CAKE.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE TOO BIG TO
GET OUT THE DOOR.
>> Rigby: BUT NOW WE GOT THIS
TELEPORTER, SO --
>> Benson: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
I'VE HAD THIS WHOLE SURPRISE
PARTY PLANNED OUT, AND NOW
THERE'S NO SURPRISE!
>> Rigby: BUT THE TELEPORTER --
>> Benson: FORGET THE
TELEPORTER!
>> Mordecai: NO!
WE CAN STILL SAVE THE PARTY!
>> THIS IS HOW THEY THROW A
BIRTHDAY PARTY?!
THERE'S NO ONE HERE!
THIS IS HOW THEY TREAT ME, AFTER
ALL I'VE DONE FOR THEM?
IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP.
>> Both: SURPRISE!
>> UH...
UGH!
>> Pops: PAPA IS SO SURPRISED,
HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!
>> THAT WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY
SURPRISE OF MY LIFE!
WHERE AM I?
>> Pops: YOU'RE IN THE HOSPITAL.
>> Mordecai: YOU'VE BEEN IN A
COMA FOR THREE WEEKS.
>> Benson: SIR, I CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW SORRY I AM.
I JUST --
>> WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE SORRY
ABOUT?
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE IN A
COMA.
I AM IMPRESSED.
YOU FIGURED OUT WHAT TO GET THE
MAN THAT HAS EVERYTHING.
THIS BIRTHDAY REALLY TAKES THE
CAKE.
>> Skips: SO, WHO'S UP FOR CARDS
AT MY HOUSE TONIGHT?
>> Muscle Man: CAN'T.
ME AND FIVES ARE TAKING OUR
LADIES TO SEE SOME MEXICAN
WRESTLING.
>> Hi Five: MUCHO ROMANTICO.
>> Benson: AUDREY AND I ARE
GOING TO A JAZZ CONCERT.
>> Rigby: I GOT PLANS WITH
EILEEN.
>> Both: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
>> Rigby: FRIEND PLANS.
SHE WANTS TO SHOW ME HER NEW
ROCK POLISHER.
>> Muscle Man: YOU KNOW WHO ELSE
LIKES TO POLISH PEOPLE'S ROCKS?
>> Skips: MORDECAI?
>> Mordecai: AW, I WOULD, BUT
C.J. AND I ARE GOING TO A
LASER LIGHT SHOW TONIGHT.
BUT YOU CAN TOTALLY COME
WITH US.
>> Skips: AH, NO. THAT'S OKAY.
I GOT SOME OTHER GUYS COMING
OVER.
IN FACT, I BETTER GET GOING.
UH, HAVE FUN, EVERYONE.
>> All: ALL RIGHT. SEE YA.
>> Skips:
>> BABY, I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'D
BE TODAY IF I HADN'T MET YOU.
>> PROBABLY HOME ALONE WATCHING
A ROMANTIC COMEDY IN THE DARK.
>> Skips:
>> Rigby: HOW WAS THE LASER
SHOW?
DID YOU PUT YOUR ARM AROUND
C.J.?
>> Mordecai: DID YOU PUT YOUR
ARM AROUND EILEEN'S ROCK
POLISHER?
>> Rigby: STOP TALKING!
>> Mordecai: WAIT. SKIPS?
>> Rigby: YOU OKAY, MAN?
>> Skips: YEAH.
NO!
I'VE BEEN SKIPPING SOLO FOR TOO
LONG NOW.
I NEED TO START DATING AGAIN.
>> Rigby: SKIPS, GETTIN' BACK IN
THE SADDLE!
>> Skips: I GUESS.
IT'S BEEN SO LONG, I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHERE TO START.
>> Rigby: AH, IT CAN'T BE
THAT BAD.
HOW LONG'S IT BEEN?
>> Skips: 200 YEARS.
>> Both: WHOA!
>> Mordecai: WELL, BETTER NOW
THAN NEVER.
YOU JUST GOT TO GET OUT THERE.
>> Rigby: WHAT YOU NEED ARE SOME
WINGMEN.
>> Skips: WINGMEN?
>> Rigby: YOU KNOW -- YOUR
CO-PILOTS, YOUR BROS, THE ONES
WHO GOT YOUR BACK WHILE YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR LADIES.
>> Skips:
IT'S ME.
I NEED SOME WINGMEN.
>> I'VE BEEN WAITING 200 YEARS
TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT.
>> Skips: SO, UH, WHAT HAPPENS
NOW?
DO WE JUST SIT HERE AND WAIT
TILL THEY COME TALK TO US?
>> WAITING DOESN'T GET YOU THE
LADIES, SKIPS.
>> WATCH AND LEARN.
>> EXCUSE ME, LADIES.
PERHAPS YOU COULD SETTLE A BET.
WHICH ONE OF US DO YOU THINK IS
OLDER?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> NEITHER.
WE'RE BOTH IMMORTAL.
PLUS WE'RE MAGIC.
>> WHOA!
>> OOH. CHECK IT OUT.
FLY HONEYS GIVING US EYE
CONTACT.
EXCUSE ME.
ARE YOU A PARKING TICKET?
'CAUSE YOU GOT "FINE" WRITTEN
ALL OVER YOU.
>> WE ARE FINE.
>> HEY, THAT'S A NICE OUTFIT YOU
HAVE ON THERE.
>> Skips: UH, YEAH.
UH, I LIKE IT A LOT.
>> WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT IT?
>> Skips: OH, UH, IT LOOKS
COMFORTABLE, LIKE, UH...
LIKE MY FRIEND'S DIAPER.
>> MY DRESS LOOKS LIKE A
DIAPER?!
HE JUST SAID I'M WEARING A
DIAPER!
>> WE'LL TRY AGAIN NEXT WEEK,
SKIPS.
WHO WANTS TO SEE A SUPERNOVA?
>> AND, BY THE WAY, IT'S NOT A
DIAPER!
THEY'RE ADULT DIAPERS!
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!
>> Skips:
>> Mordecai: HEY, SKIPS.
>> Rigby: MEET ANY FINE FEMALES
TONIGHT?
>> Skips: I'M JUST NOT CUT OUT
FOR THE WHOLE CLUB SCENE.
>> Rigby: DUDE, NOBODY MEETS
ANYBODY AT CLUBS ANYMORE.
>> Mordecai: YEAH.
THERE'S AN OPTION FOR PEOPLE
LIKE YOU WHO MAKE TERRIBLE FIRST
IMPRESSIONS.
>> Both: THE INTERNET!
>> Mordecai: ALL RIGHT.
WE GOT TO FILL IN YOUR PROFILE.
PROFESSION?
>> Skips: PARK GROUNDSKEEPER.
>> Mordecai: AH, AH, AH.
"ENVIRONMENTAL TECHNOLOGIST."
>> Rigby: HOBBIES?
>> Skips: I'M GOOD AT FIXING
STUFF.
>> Rigby: MECHANICAL WHIZ WHO
CAN FIX ANYTHING -- BUSTED
ENGINES, BROKEN HEARTS, WHATEVER
YOU GOT.
>> Mordecai: YOU'VE TRAVELED ALL
OVER THE WORLD.
GIRLS LIKE A GUY WHO'S CULTURED.
>> Rigby: FOUGHT MONSTERS WITH A
NINJA SWORD, ARM-WRESTLED DEATH,
AND, ALSO, YOU LOVE KITTENS, TO
SHOW YOUR SOFTER SIDE.
AND...DONE.
>> Skips: NOW WHAT DO WE DO?
>> Mordecai: SIT BACK AND LET
THE LADIES COME TO YOU.
>> Skips: HOW LONG'S IT
GONNA TAKE?
>> Mordecai: I DON'T KNOW.
IT COULD BE A WHILE.
>> Rigby: WHOA! LOOK AT THAT!
YOU'VE ALREADY GOT 85,000 VIEWS!
>> Mordecai: DUDE, YOU'RE ON THE
FRONT PAGE OF THE WEBSITE!
BASED ON YOUR TOP-RATED PROFILE,
YOU'VE BEEN SELECTED TO BE A
CONTESTANT ON THE HIT DATING
SHOW "IT'S A DATE!"
>> Skips: WHAT?
>> Mordecai: AW, MAN.
YOU'LL MEET SOMEONE NOW FOR
SURE!
>> Rigby: UP HIGH!
>> Skips: I CAN'T GO ON A DATING
SHOW.
I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GUY.
>> Rigby: WOULD YOU RATHER BE
THE KIND OF GUY WHO SPENDS THE
NEXT 200 YEARS SHUFFLING
HIS CARDS?
>> Skips: EH --
>> Mordecai: LOOKIN' GOOD,
SKIPS.
>> Skips: I DON'T KNOW.
THESE PANTS ARE A LITTLE TIGHT.
>> Rigby: YOU WANT TO LOOK COOL,
RIGHT?
>> Skips: YES.
>> Mordecai: IT'S GETTING LATE.
WE GOT TO GET YOU PREPPED FOR
THE QUESTIONS ON THE SHOW
TONIGHT.
>> Skips: WHAT QUESTIONS?
>> Rigby: DUDE, THE LADIES ASK
YOU QUESTIONS, AND YOU IMPRESS
THEM WITH YOUR SLICK RESPONSES.
>> Mordecai: HERE. LET'S RUN
THROUGH A PRACTICE ROUND.
"IF YOU WERE TRAPPED ON A DESERT
ISLAND WITH JUST ONE THING, WHAT
WOULD IT BE?"
>> Rigby: BOOM! GO.
>> Skips: THAT'S EASY -- FRESH
WATER.
>> Rigby:
WRONG!
YOU GOT TO SAY SOMETHING COOL,
LIKE "ALL I NEED IS YOUR DEEP
BLUE EYES TO LOOK INTO."
CHEESE IT UP!
MAKE 'EM LAUGH.
IT'S NOT HARD.
>> Skips: HOW DO YOU KNOW?
>> Rigby: 'CAUSE I'VE SEEN EVERY
EPISODE OF "IT'S A DATE!"
WHAT?!
I'VE HAD A LOT OF SPARE TIME
SINCE MORDECAI STARTED DATING
C.J.
>> Skips: IF YOU'RE SO GOOD AT
THIS, WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?
>> Rigby: I WOULD IF I COULD.
>> Skips: OH!
SO, YOU ADMIT THAT YOU CAN'T.
>> Rigby: NO! IT'S JUST THAT I
DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT LOOK OR
WHATEVER, WHICH HAS NOTHING TO
DO WITH ME BEING COOL WITH MY
WORDS.
>> Skips: WELL, I'M NOT A WORD
GUY, OKAY?!
>> Mordecai: HM-HM-HM!
I GOT AN IDEA.
>> WELCOME TO "IT'S A DATE!"
LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR HOST,
BOB KARPETT!
>> THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
LET'S GIVE A BIG, WARM WELCOME
TO OUR BACHELORETTE,
SHEENA ALBRIGHT!
SHEENA IS A MOLECULAR BIOLOGIST
WHO LOVES TENNIS, ITALIAN
CUISINE, AND SLOTHS.
NOW IT'S TIME TO MEET OUR THREE
ELIGIBLE BACHELORS!
BACHELOR NUMBER 1 IS A HIP-HOP
ENTHUSIAST.
PLEASE WELCOME JIMMY JAMZZ!
>> YO, YO, YO!
WHAT'S PEEPIN', SHEENA?
>> YO!
>> BACHELOR NUMBER 2 RUNS HIS
OWN T-SHIRT BUSINESS.
SAY HELLO TO THE T-SHIRT MAN.
>> BUY MY T-SHIRTS!
>> HI!
>> AND BACHELOR NUMBER 3 IS A
VENTRILOQUIST.
SAY HELLO TO SKIPS AND HIS
DUMMY, LIL' RIGS!
>> Rigby: HEY!
WHAT'S SHAKIN', DOLLFACE?
HOLD ON TIGHT, STRAP YOURSELF
IN, 'CAUSE A DATE WITH ME WILL
MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN!
>> ALL RIGHT, SHEENA.
IT'S TIME FOR YOUR FIRST
QUESTION FOR OUR BACHELORS.
>> "IF WE WENT OUT ON A DATE,
WHERE WOULD YOU TAKE ME?"
BACHELOR NUMBER 1.
>> GIRL, I'D TAKE YOU TO THE
HOPPINGEST DANCE CLUB IN TOWN,
'CAUSE JIMMY JAMZZ IS ALL ABOUT
BUSTIN' KILLER MOVES, GIRL!
OH, YEAH, DAWG!
>> OKAY.
BACHELOR NUMBER 2?
>> I WOULD TAKE YOU TO A
FINE-DINING ESTABLISHMENT AND
THEN SHOW YOU MY LATEST LINE OF
T-SHIRTS!
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
>> HMM. BACHELOR NUMBER 3?
>> Skips: UH...
GO OUT FOR A NICE MEAL?
>> Rigby: AND GO TO THE
PLANETARIUM, 'CAUSE YOU SURELY
BELONG WITH THE OTHER HEAVENLY
BODIES.
NEXT QUESTION -- "WHAT IS YOUR
BIGGEST DREAM IN LIFE?"
BACHELOR NUMBER 1.
>> PSHEW!
GIRL, I'M ALREADY LIVING MY
DREAM!
I'VE BEEN REGIONAL HIP-HOP DANCE
CHAMPION NINE TIMES IN A ROW,
PLAYER!
SHOUT-OUT TO MY FOUR-LEGGED
CREW!
>> BACHELOR NUMBER 2?
>> MY DREAM IS TO SELL MY
T-SHIRTS IN ALL STORES
NATIONWIDE -- THAT AND MOVE OUT
OF MY MAMA'S BASEMENT.
BACHELOR NUMBER 3?
>> Skips: UH, WELL, UH, SAVE UP
FOR RETIREMENT.
>> Rigby: GEEZ, GRAMPS!
YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET!
BUT JUDGING BY YOUR STAGE
PRESENCE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE!
HEY-OH!
BUT, SERIOUSLY, SHEENA, MY ONLY
DREAM IS TO MAKE EACH DAY WITH
YOU BETTER THAN THE LAST.
>> WHY, THANK YOU,
BACHELOR NUMBER 3.
>> OH, COME ON!
THAT'S THE WORST PICKUP LINE I
EVER HEARD!
>> Rigby: THE ONLY THING YOU
SHOULD PICK UP IS A PAIR OF
SCISSORS AND CUT OFF THAT LAME
MULLET!
>> Skips: RIGBY!
>> Rigby: HEY, THE AUDIENCE
LOVES ME.
WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR
THESE TWO DUMMIES.
>> YOU CALLING ME A DUMMY,
DUMMY?
>> Rigby: NO, BUT YOU KNOW WHO
IS CALLING YOU IS YOUR MOM.
SHE WANTS YOUR RENT CHECK, FOOL.
>> I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR LIP,
SON!
PLAYTIME'S OVER!
>> UNH! YO!
I JUST "CEN-TORE" IT UP!
>> AAAAAH!
>> EAT T-SHIRT!
>> LET'S TEACH THIS PUNK SOME
MANNERS.
UGH!
>> Skips:
THAT'S ENOUGH!
>> Mordecai: LOOK OUT!
>> AAAAAAH!
>> Skips:
YOU OKAY?
LOOK, EVERYONE, I'M NOT A
VENTRILOQUIST.
AND THIS ISN'T A DUMMY.
THE TRUTH IS I'M JUST A SIMPLE
GUY WHO WORKS AT A PARK, A QUIET
GUY WHO WANTS TO MEET A NICE
GIRL -- SOMEONE I CAN SPEND TIME
WITH AND TALK TO AND, UH
DOESN'T MIND THAT I
LIKE TO GO COMMANDO.
ANYWAY, I'M SORRY I WASTED
EVERYBODY'S TIME.
>> WAIT!
I CHOOSE BACHELOR NUMBER 3!
>> Skips: HUH?
>> IT'S A DATE!
SHEENA AND SKIPS, YOU TWO WIN AN
ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP TO
COSTA RICA!
>> Rigby: WHOO!
>> Mordecai: YE-AH!
>> Skips: KEEP THE CHANGE.
>> Both: SKIPS! SKIPS! SKIPS!
>> Rigby: HOW WAS COSTA RICA
WITH YOUR CHICA?!
>> Skips: WELL, UH...
>> AAAAAH!
AAAAAH!
AAAH!
>> Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>> Skips: AH, SHE WAS TOO
HIGH-MAINTENANCE.
BUT I'M BACK IN THE SADDLE.
THANKS, GUYS.
>> Both: WH-O-O-O-O-O-OA!
>> Mordecai: NICE. NICE.