[ BELL CHIMES ]
>> HEY, MORDO!
YOU COMIN'?
BACK OF THIS BIKE'S NOT GONNA
RIDE ITSELF!
>> Mordecai: COMING!
THIS DAY WAS AWESOME!
>> YEAH, I HAD A GOOD TIME.
>> Mordecai: YOU WANNA COME
WATCH "X-TREME BARISTA" WITH ME
AND RIGBY?
>> [ SIGHS ] I CAN'T.
I'VE GOT TO GO TO WORK.
BUT I'LL BE ABLE TO WATCH IT
THERE.
HEY, TEXT ME, AND IT'LL BE LIKE
WE'RE WATCHING IT AT THE SAME
TIME.
>> Mordecai: HA!
PHONES ARE AWESOME.
>> YEAH, THEY ARE!
ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO GO.
GIVE ME A HUG, YOU LOSER.
>> Mordecai: LATER.
>> SEE YA.
>> TODAY ON "X-TREME BARISTA"...
K-K-KID KRUNCHY Z!
>> YO YO YO!
I AIN'T COME HERE TO MAKE
FRIENDS.
I CAME HERE TO MAKE BLENDS,
DAWG!
SO YUJI BETTER WATCH WHAT'S UP!
>> YO, HE SAID THAT?
WELL, THESE THREE GOLDEN BARISTA
AWARDS PROVE THAT YUJI'S NUMBER
ONE!
SO WHAT'S HE GOT TO SAY TO
THAT?!
>> Rigby: MAN, YUJI'S GONNA
FRENCH-PRESS THIS GUY!
>> Mordecai: PFT!
"ARE YOU WATCHING
'X-TREME BARISTA'?
HILARIOUS!"
[ CHUCKLES ]
"SO BAD IT'S GOOD."
SHE'S SO FUNNY.
>> ONE MINUTE BEGINS NOW.
HE'S ADDING AN ENERGY DRINK!
>> Mordecai: [ LAUGHS ]
>> Rigby: UGH!
ALL YOU DO IS TEXT C.J.
JUST TELL HER YOU LIKE HER AND
QUIT PULLING A MORDECAI.
>> Mordecai: WHAT?!
THAT'S NOT A THING!
>> Rigby: [ WHIMPERING ]
"I'M MORDECAI.
I NEVER MAKE A MOVE.
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH
MY HANDS!"
YOU'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR
YEARS.
>> Mordecai: I'M NOT LIKE THAT
WITH C.J.!
>> Rigby: SO HOW COME YOU
AREN'T DATING YET?
>> Mordecai: 'CAUSE WE'RE JUST
FRIENDS!
NOT EVERY GIRL I HANG OUT WITH
HAS TO BE A POTENTIAL
GIRLFRIEND.
>> Rigby: SHUT YOUR EXCUSE HOLE!
YUJI'S ON!
>> AIN'T NOBODY CAN MAKE A
SWAN-SPRESSO LIKE YUJI CAN!
CARE FOR A SIP?
YOU DON'T DRINK FROM THE CUP!
YOU DRINK FROM THE SKY!
[ GUNSHOTS ]
STILL WARM.
>> Rigby: WOW!
[ CELLPHONE CHIMES ]
>> Mordecai: [ LAUGHS ]
"CAPPUCCINO HE DIDN'T!"
HA. "I LIKE YUJI."
>> UH-OH!
>> IS THIS SOME KINDA YUJI
PSYCHE?!
[ GRUNTS ]
YUJI WILL RETURN, YO!
BUY MY BOOK, SUCKERS!
>> Mordecai: [ LAUGHS ]
>> Rigby: [ Distorted ] YUJI!
>> Mordecai: [ Distorted ]
[ LAUGHS ]
[ GASPS ]
NO! NO! NO!
CANCEL! CANCEL! CANCEL!
[ MOANS ]
>> Rigby: UGH! WHAT NOW?!
MY FAVORITE BARISTA PROBABLY HAS
RABIES, AND YOU'RE --
WHOA!
WHAT HAPPENED?
>> Mordecai: I TEXTED C.J.
"I LIKE YUJI," BUT IT
AUTOCORRECTED TO "I LIKE YOU HI"
[ CELLPHONE CHIMES ]
"I LIKE YOU, TOO. HI."
WAIT. WHAT?
OH, NO.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
>> Rigby: DESTROY THE PHONE WITH
ACID.
THAT MAKES THE TEXTS GO AWAY.
>> Mordecai: WHAT?
THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK SOME REAL
PEOPLE.
SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
HOW DO I TELL C.J. THAT I DON'T
LIKE LIKE HER.
I JUST LIKE HER, YOU KNOW?
>> Skips: SO YOU PULLED A
MORDECAI, HUH?
>> Mordecai: WHAT THE --
COME ON!
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN CALLING
IT THAT?
>> Muscle Man: HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN MORDECAI?
[ ALL WHIMPERING ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Rigby: OW!
>> Mordecai: UGH!
COME ON! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
>> Skips: TELL HER THE TRUTH.
>> Mordecai: MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
THOMAS?
>> Thomas: WELL, MY SECOND
GIRLFRIEND LIKED DANCING, BUT MY
FOURTH GIRLFRIEND WAS MORE INTO
THE DEEJAY SCENE.
SO, UH, TRY -- TRY THAT.
>> Mordecai: OKAY, NOT REALLY
SURE WHY YOU'RE ON THIS PANEL.
MUSCLE MAN?
>> Muscle Man: ONE WORD, BRO.
CELLPHONE THIEF.
>> Mordecai: HUH?
HEY!
[ DIALING ]
[ RINGING ]
>> HEY, MORDECOOL.
>> Muscle Man: THIS ISN'T
MORDECAI.
THIS IS A COMMON CRIMINAL.
I'VE BEEN STEALING PHONES AND
TEXTING PEOPLE "I LIKE YOU HI"
ALL DAY!
>> I KNOW IT'S YOU, MUSCLE MAN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH
MORDECAI'S PHONE?
>> Muscle Man: UH...
[ IMITATES SIREN WAILING ]
THE COPS ARE COMING!
GOT TO GO!
SORRY, BRO.
THAT ALWAYS WORKS ON STARLA.
>> Mordecai: OKAY, ANYMORE
ADVICE?
>> Hi Five: WELL, YOU HAVE TO
WAIT FOUR YEARS, BUT --
>> Mordecai: OKAY, ANYTHING I
CAN ACTUAL DO?
[ ALL MUMBLING ]
>> Mordecai: WELL, THAT WAS A
DEAD END.
>> Rigby: UGH!
JUST TALK TO HER ALREADY SO WE
DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ALL DAY!
I HAVE MY OWN LIFE, YOU KNOW!
I'VE GOT THIS BOOK-SIGNING THING
I WANT TO GO TO.
>> YUJI WILL BE AT
BOOKS, ZINES AND IN-BETWEENZ
SIGNING HIS NEW BOOK,
"P.S. I LOVE YUJI," TODAY!
>> Rigby: SEE?
>> Mordecai: THAT'S IT!
YUJI!
I'LL GET A PICTURE OF ME AND
YUJI, AND I'LL SEND IT TO C.J.
AND WRITE "I LIKE YOU HI."
THEN I'LL SEND, "OOPS.
I LIKE YUJI!
DUMB AUTO CORRECT!"
THEN SHE'LL KNOW MY FIRST TEXT
WAS A MISTAKE, AND HER FEELINGS
WON'T GET HURT.
WE'LL BE ABLE TO KEEP BEING
FRIENDS, AND MY LIFE WON'T BE
RUINED.
>> Rigby: PHEW! THAT'S BAD.
THAT'S LIKE ONE OF MY PLANS.
YOU'RE LUCKY I'M GOING THERE
ANYWAY.
JUST DON'T MAKE ME LOOK BAD IN
FRONT OF YUJI.
>> AND THAT WAS THE DAY I LOST
MY INNOCENCE.
[ SNIFFLES ]
AT MAKING COFFEE!
NOT AT MAKING OUT WITH GIRLS!
I DID THAT WAY EARLIER!
TO THE EXTREME!
'SUP, YUJI FANS?
>> Rigby: IT'S AN HONOR TO MEET
YOU, SIR.
>> Mordecai: YEAH, UH, HUGE FAN.
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
WHATEVER. NO PROBLEM.
>> Mordecai: ACTUALLY, I NEED A
FAVOR.
YOU SEE, YUJI, I SENT A TEXT
ABOUT YOU TO THIS GIRL --
>> AND MY NAME AUTO-CORRECTED TO
"YOU HI"?
>> Mordecai: UH, YEAH.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
>> IT'S THE ONLY REASON I'M NOT
FAMOUS!
IF PEOPLE COULD VIRAL MARKET BY
TEXTING ABOUT ME, I WOULDN'T BE
SIGNING BOOKS!
I WOULD BE SIGNING DIAMONDS!
>> Mordecai: UM, YEAH.
>> "UM, YEAH" IS RIGHT, BRO!
I WENT TO THIS TATTOO SHOP, AND
CHECK OUT WHAT HAPPENED!
>> Mordecai: HMM.
SO CAN I GET A PICTURE WITH YOU
TO SHOW WHAT I WAS TEXTING
ABOUT?
>> LET ME CHECK MY PLANNER.
I THINK I CAN PENCIL YOU IN.
>> Mordecai: AWESOME.
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THE
PICTURE?
>> OH, WE CAN TAKE IT ANYWHERE
EXTREME!
>> Mordecai: UM, HOW 'BOUT THE
ROOF?
>> CAN I BASE-JUMP OFF IT
AFTERWARDS?
>> Rigby: OKAY. READY?
>> UGH, THE GLARE FROM THE SUN
IS TOO EXTREME!
>> Mordecai: I THOUGHT YOU LIKED
THINGS EXTREME.
>> NOT WHEN IT COMES TO WHITE
BALANCE, BRO!
WE'VE GOT TO WAIT FOR THAT CLOUD
TO FLOAT OVER AND BLOCK THAT
SUN.
>> Rigby: HEY, YOU GOT A
TEXT FROM C.J.
IT SAYS "I GET OFF WORK IN HALF
AN HOUR -- TEXT ME THEN."
>> Mordecai: UGH!
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
>> OKAY, SO PICTURE WON'T WORK.
LET ME TEXT THIS X-TREME-ANITA.
>> Mordecai: UH...
>> "'SUP?
THIS IS YUJI BLOWIN' UP YOUR
CALL BRICK!"
SENDO!
EX-SQUEEZE ME?
RE-SENDO!
UGH!
WHAT THE EXTREME?!
STUPID PHONE!
I CAN'T EVEN SEND MY OWN NAME!
UGH, I HATE MYSELF!
I'M SUCH A LOSER.
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE CHANGED MY
NAME FROM EUGENE MENDELMAN.
>> Mordecai: LET ME TRY...
I CAN STILL FIX THIS.
UGH! COME ON!
SEND!
UGH!
>> Rigby: DUDE, CHILL!
>> Mordecai: MAYBE IF I TYPE
"YOU HI" IT'LL AUTO CORRECT TO
YUJI!
SEND! SEND!
[ CELLPHONE CHIMING ]
[ RUMBLING ]
[ BOTH SCREAM ]
>> UH, I GUESS WARPING INTO A
PHONE IS KIND OF EXTREME.
[ BOTH GRUNT ]
>> Mordecai: WHAT?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
>> WELCOME TO THE VIRTUAL
MESSAGING -- WHAT THE?
IS THAT YOU, MORDECAI?
>> Mordecai: OH, HEY.
HEY, YOU GUYS.
HOW'VE YOU BEEN?
>> OH, YOU KNOW.
OH, HEY, OUR BAND PUT OUT A DEMO
TAPE.
>> Mordecai: OH, COOL.
>> IT'S SORT OF AN AMBIENT
PROG-ROCK FUSION.
YOU CAN KEEP THAT.
>> WE HAD TO MOVE ON AFTER YOU
DIDN'T CALL.
>> Mordecai: UH, THAT'S ALL
RIGHT --
>> ENOUGH REMINISCING!
YOU STAND ACCUSED OF BREAKING
THE GOLDEN RULE OF TEXTING --
SENDING THE SAME TEXT MESSAGE
THREE TIMES.
>> AND THAT'S THE WORST THING
IN THE WORLD!
>> Mordecai: WHAT? WHY?
>> IT'S SUPER ANNOYING!
>> YES, AND SOME OF US HAVE VERY
LIMITED DATA PLANS.
>> Rigby: UH, WELL, HE'S REALLY
SORRY.
>> Mordecai: I'M REALLY SORRY!
>> Rigby: IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN,
SO IF YOU COULD JUST SHOW US THE
WAY OUT.
>> BURN THEM!
>> [ SIGHS ]
BUT HE'S RIGHT.
THIS IS YOUR SECOND OFFENSE!
YOU WON'T BE GETTING OFF SO EASY
THIS TIME!
>> Mordecai: I JUST PRESSED THE
WRONG BUTTON!
>> YOU DON'T PRESS THE WRONG
BUTTON THREE TIMES IN A ROW.
>> Mordecai: LISTEN, I'M --
I JUST REALLY GOT TO GO, OKAY?
>> Rigby: WHAT?
>> TELL US WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
>> Mordecai: NAH, I'M JUST...
YOU KNOW...
GOING THIS WAY...
>> WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
GOING?!
>> Rigby: DUDE, YOU'RE BEING
REALLY WEIRD!
MORDECAI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
COME BACK!
>> YOU'D RATHER FLOAT TOWARDS
THE INFINITE ABYSS THAN TALK
ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM?
>> THIS IS A SAFE PLACE!
>> WHAT ARE YOU FLOATING AWAY
FROM?
>> Mordecai: I...I DON'T WANT TO
TALK ABOUT IT!
>> DO YOU NOT WISH TO BE WITH
THIS C.J.?
HER TEXTING HISTORY SHOWS SHE'S
QUITE THE WITTY AND INDEPENDENT
YOUNG WOMAN.
AND SHE'S QUITE FOND OF YOU.
THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE FOR
YOU.
LITERALLY NOTHING!
IT'S REALLY BORING. TRUST ME.
>> Mordecai: [ SIGHS ]
I REALLY DO LIKE C.J.
>> Rigby: PFT! DUH, YOU DO.
>> Mordecai: I'M JUST AFRAID
OF WHAT'LL HAPPEN BECAUSE...
[ SIGHS ]
...PART OF ME IS STILL WAITING
FOR MARGARET TO COME BACK.
>> DADDY'S GIRL?
>> Rigby: WHAT?! STILL?!
SHE'S NOT COMING BACK, DUDE!
SHE'S GONE!
>> Mordecai: LOOK, I KNOW!
ALL RIGHT?
I KNOW!
IT'S JUST...
I MEAN, I DON'T STILL HAVE
FEELINGS FOR HER.
BUT I DO IN A WAY.
IT'S LIKE THIS THING THAT'S
INSIDE OF ME, AND IT'S ALWAYS
JUST SORT OF SITTING THERE,
WAITING AROUND, AND SOMETIMES
I'LL SEE SOMETHING OR I'LL SMELL
SOMETHING, AND IT MAKES ME THINK
OF HER, EVEN THOUGH I DON'T WANT
TO.
I REALLY LIKE C.J.
SHE'S AMAZING!
BUT IS IT FAIR FOR ME TO GO OUT
WITH HER IF I STILL THINK ABOUT
MARGARET SOMETIMES?
>> Rigby: DUDE, C.J.'s WAY
COOLER THAN MARGARET.
>> WAY COOLER.
I AGREE.
>> THIS IS A NORMAL PART OF
LIFE.
>> WHERE ONE PHONE CALL ENDS,
ANOTHER BEGINS.
EVEN IF YOU DON'T LEAVE A
MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP.
>> Mordecai: SO WHAT SHOULD I
DO?
>> THAT'S FOR YOU TO DECIDE.
[ WHIRRING ]
>> UH, ALSO, IF YOU HAVE A MUSIC
BLOG OR SOMETHING, WE COULD
REALLY USE SOME POSITIVE
REVIEWS.
>> Mordecai: UH...
>> Rigby: YEAH...
WE'LL LOOK INTO IT.
>> THIS IS IT GUYS.
THIS IS GONNA BE OUR BIG BREAK.
>> Rigby: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT
THIS?
>> Mordecai: I'M TIRED OF
PULLING A MORDECAI.
>> Rigby: NICE!
>> Mordecai: YEAH!
>> Rigby: AWESOME!
>> Mordecai: WAIT, WHAT DOES A
WINKY FACE ME--
"THAT MEANS YES.
DON'T MISINTERPRET IT."
HA HA! ALL RIGHT!
"SEE YOU SOON."
>> Rigby: I'M PROUD OF YOU, MAN.
>> EXTREME YU-JUMP!
WHOO-HOOOOOO!
>> Rigby: LOOK, YOU KNOW I
COULDN'T BE HAPPIER THAT YOU
DIDN'T BACK DOWN FROM GOING ON
THIS DATE WITH C.J.
I ADMIRE THAT.
BUT TONIGHT WE HAD PLANS --
MAN PLANS -- MANS!
>> Mordecai: I KNOW. I KNOW.
THIS IS IMPORTANT, AND I TOLD
YOU I WAS SORRY.
>> Rigby: YEAH, WELL, "SORRY"
DOESN'T HELP ME EAT A WHOLE
PIZZA AND PRANK-CALL BENSON.
>> Mordecai: BUT WE DO THIS
EVERY SATURDAY.
I'M ONLY MISSING IT ONCE.
>> Rigby: YOU KNOW THIS IS A
TWO-MAN JOB.
>> Mordecai: I'M NOT HANGING OUT
WITH YOU TONIGHT, DUDE.
>> Rigby: UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!
>> HEY!
>> Mordecai: HI! HEY!
SO, UH, I'M GLAD YOU COULD MAKE
IT OUT TONIGHT.
>> WHOA-HO-HO!
YOU'RE A REAL MOVE-MAKER TODAY.
>> Mordecai: OH.
UH...I MEAN, I THOUGHT --
>> HEY, HEY, I'M JUST TEASING.
IT'S COOL.
YOU ALREADY GOT ME ON A DATE.
THERE'S NO NEED TO IMPRESS ME.
>> Mordecai: [ CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY ]
YEAH. IT'S COOL. I'M COOL.
>> PFFT!
ALL RIGHT, COOL GUY.
WHAT ARE WE DOING ON THIS HOT
DATE?
>> Mordecai: WELL, WE COULD GO
EAT AT THE NEW
FALAFEL FUSION TRUCK, OR THERE'S
THE TRIED-AND-TRUE WING KINGDOM.
AND THEN I WAS THINKING AFTER
THAT WE COULD GO CATCH A MOVIE
OR GO TO TRIVIA NIGHT AT THE
ARCADE OR TAKE A CHANCE ON DISCO
NIGHT DOWN AT THAT WEIRD BINGO
HALL.
>> YEAH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
>> Mordecai: UH, WHICH ONE?
>> ALL OF 'EM.
LET'S JUST START AT THE
BEGINNING AND SEE HOW FAR WE
GET.
>> Mordecai: OKAY.
[ SPIRITS MOANING ]
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> UH, THAT VAN JUST CAME OUT OF
THIN AIR.
>> Mordecai: WE SHOULD GO.
>> DO YOU KNOW THEM?
>> Mordecai: NOPE.
>> HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
>> Mordecai: [ CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY ]
HEY, DEATH. HOW'S IT GOING?
>> UH...DEATH?
>> Mordecai: C.J., THIS IS
DEATH -- DEATH, C.J.
>> CHARMED.
>> Mordecai: WELL, IT'S BEEN
GREAT RUNNING INTO YOU.
>> OH, WE'RE NOT THROUGH YET.
YOU'RE GONNA BABYSIT THOMAS
TONIGHT.
[ ELECTRICITY ZAPPING ]
>> Mordecai: AW, MAN.
>> UM, ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST
ABOUT TO HEAD OUT OURSELVES.
>> WELL, YOU'RE IN FOR A CHANGE
OF PLANS, MISSY, BECAUSE THIS
JOKER OWES ME A FAVOR.
>> Mordecai: HOLD ON A SECOND.
[ Dialing, rings ]
>> Rigby: YEAH?
>> Mordecai: DUDE, I NEED YOU TO
DO ME A HUGE FAVOR AND BABYSIT
THOMAS TONIGHT.
>> Rigby: ISN'T HE, LIKE, IN
COLLEGE?
>> Mordecai: NOT THAT THOMAS --
DEATH'S THOMAS.
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?
>> Rigby: SORRY TO HEAR THAT,
BUT I'VE GOT SOME IMPORTANT
PLANS I CAN'T CANCEL ON.
>> Eileen: SORRY WE HAVE TO
WATCH IT ON MY COMPUTER.
I HAVEN'T HAD A TV SINCE I MOVED
OUT OF MY PARENTS' PLACE.
>> Mordecai: ARE YOU AT
EILEEN'S?!
>> Rigby: VERY IMPORTANT!!
>> Mordecai: UGH!
SORRY, C.J.
LOOKS LIKE I CAN'T GET OUT OF
THIS.
>> WE DON'T HAVE TO GIVE UP ON
OUR DATE JUST BECAUSE OF THOMAS.
>> Mordecai: REALLY?
>> YEAH! I'LL JUST HELP YOU
BABYSIT HIM.
I'M SURE WE CAN STILL HAVE A
GOOD TIME.
>> Mordecai: OKAY. LET'S DO IT!
>> GLAD TO HEAR IT.
WE'LL PICK HIM UP AT 8:00.
OH, A LITTLE HEADS UP -- THOMAS
IS GOING THROUGH A BIT OF A
PHASE RIGHT NOW.
>> Mordecai: WAIT. WHAT?
>> CIAO!
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> SO...WE MEET AGAIN.
>> WHOA! HE CAN TALK?!
>> OBVIOUSLY.
>> Mordecai: YEAH.
HE'S ACTUALLY 300 YEARS OLD.
>> THEN WHY IS HE SO SHRIMPY?
>> WHO IS THIS FEMALE?!
>> Mordecai: HER NAME'S C.J.,
AND YOU'RE MESSING WITH OUR DATE
PLANS, SO TRY TO BE NICE, OKAY?
>> DATE?!
>> Mordecai: UH, YEAH.
>> AND SHE'S ACTUALLY OKAY WITH
BEING A GIRLFRIEND TO SOMEONE
LIKE YOU?!
>> Mordecai: WELL, SHE'S NOT
REALLY MY GIRLFRIEND YET.
UH, WE'RE JUST ON A DATE RIGHT
NOW.
>> OH, SUCH SIMPLE MINDS!
YOU MORTALS HAVE THE MOST
HEINOUS RITUALS!
>> HEY, AT LEAST WE'RE NOT 300
AND STILL WEARING BABY CLOTHES.
>> WHAT?!
HOW DARE YOU?!
>> Mordecai: SO, THOMAS, WHAT DO
YOU WANT TO DO?
>> TAKE ME TO THE PLAYGROUND!
>> HEY, NOT A BAD IDEA.
THIS COULD BE PRETTY FUN.
>> OH, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
[ CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY ]
WHERE HAVE YOU TAKEN ME?!
>> TO THE PLAYGROUND, DUDE.
>> Mordecai: YEAH.
GO RUN AROUND OR SOMETHING.
>> BUT WHERE'S THE FIRE, THE
BRIMSTONE, THE OVERALL LOSS OF
HOPE?
>> Mordecai: I DON'T KNOW.
THAT GUY ON THE BENCH LOOKS KIND
OF SAD.
>> TAKE ME TO THE
UNDERWORLD PLAYGROUND!
>> YOU HAVEN'T TRIED IT OUT YET.
GIVE IT A CHANCE.
>> Mordecai: COME ON.
I'LL PUSH YOU ON THE SWINGS.
>> AHH! GAH!
[ CREAKING ]
THIS IS TERRIBLE!
THE SWINGS IN THE UNDERWORLD GO
MUCH HIGHER!
>> Mordecai: WELL, TOO BAD.
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC-BOX MUSIC
PLAYING ]
FOLLOW MY LEAD.
>> [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY.
>> Mordecai: ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA PUSH YOU REALLY HIGH
THIS TIME.
HUH!
>> NOW THAT'S A GOOD SWING!
KEEP THIS UP AND I'LL -- W-WAIT.
WHAT THE --
>> Mordecai: WANT TO SHARE?
>> YEAH, SURE.
>> FOOLS!
YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE!
YOU ARE HERE TO DO MY BIDDING!
NOW TAKE ME TO THE
UNDERWORLD PLAYGROUND!
>> Mordecai: WE CAN'T.
JUST PLAY ON THIS PLAYGROUND.
>> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>> Both: WHOA-OH-OH!
>> UNDERWORLD! UNDERWORLD!
>> Mordecai: I'D TAKE YOU, BUT I
DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO GET
THERE!
>>KNOW HOW.
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
[ BIRD CAWS ]
THIS IS HOW.
>> Mordecai: DUDE, WE CAN'T ALL
FIT ON THAT BIKE.
>> NOT THAT BIKE -- THAT BIKE.
>> Mordecai: GREAT, BUT I STILL
DON'T KNOW HOW TO RIDE A
MOTORCYCLE.
>> I HAVE A MOTORCYCLE LICENSE.
>> THEN IT'S DECIDED -- THE
FEMALE YOU'RE TRYING TO IMPRESS
WILL DRIVE US.
HOW EMASCULATING.
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER, REVS ]
>> Mordecai: IT'S PRETTY COOL
YOU KNOW HOW TO RIDE A
MOTORCYCLE.
>> YEAH. I DID MOTORCROSS WHEN I
WAS YOUNGER.
>> ENOUGH!
TAKE A LEFT UP AHEAD AND GO INTO
7th GEAR.
>> 7th GEAR?
>> DO IT!
>> OKAY! OKAY!
[ SPIRITS MOAN ]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> Mordecai: YOU GET USED TO IT.
>> AH! AT LAST!
[ BIRD CAWS ]
[ CHOMP! ]
>> EW. THIS PLAYGROUND DOESN'T
LOOK VERY SAFE.
>> Mordecai: YOU WANT TO GO SIT
DOWN ON THOSE SWINGS?
I DON'T THINK THEY'LL INCINERATE
US.
>> SURE.
WOW. LOOK AT HIM GO.
>> Mordecai: YEAH.
HE'S REALLY IN HIS ELEMENT.
[ CHOMP! ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ CREAKS ]
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> Mordecai: HEY, THANKS FOR
COMING ALONG AND HELPING ME.
I DON'T KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE
WHO'D DO THAT.
>> WELL, IT'S NO DISCO NIGHT AT
THE BINGO HALL, BUT I'M HAVING A
LOT OF FUN HANGING OUT WITH YOU.
>> Mordecai: REALLY?
>> YEAH, REALLY.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS DATE IS
GOING PRETTY GOOD.
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> PUSH ME!
>> Mordecai: AAH!
UH, YEAH. HERE YOU GO.
>> DON'T PATRONIZE ME!
THESE ARE BABY SWINGS.
I WAS TO GO ON THE ELDER-BOY
SWINGS.
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> Mordecai: [ GULPS ] SURE.
>> I'LL MEET YOU GUYS THERE.
I GOT TO HIT THE RESTROOM.
I'LL SCREAM IF I NEED YOU.
>> Mordecai: GOT IT.
>> [ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]
>> Mordecai: WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
>> YOU AND THAT FEMALE
BABYSITTER ARE NEVER GOING TO
CONNECT.
>> Mordecai: WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
>> OH, IT'S BEEN SO EASY TO GET
BETWEEN YOU ALL DAY.
WHAT A PITIFUL ROMANCE.
I'VE BARELY BEEN ABLE TO KEEP A
STRAIGHT FACE!
>> Mordecai: WHAT THE --
YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET
BETWEEN US?!
>> TRYING?! HA!
IT'S BEEN AS EFFORTLESS AS IT'S
BEEN ENTERTAINING.
>> Mordecai: UGH!
YOU LITTLE JERK.
THAT'S IT. WE'RE GOING HOME.
>> OH, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
[ GASPS ]
WHAT?! NO!
I WILL NOT ASK THIS WOMAN FOR
HER PHONE NUMBER!
>> Mordecai: HUH?
>> SHE'S OBVIOUSLY MARRIED!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ASKING ME
TO PICK UP WOMEN FOR YOU WHILE
YOUR DATE IS IN THE BATHROOM!
>> DID YOU HEAR THAT?
HOW AWFUL!
>> UGH!
WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?
>> HEY, GUYS. WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> Mordecai: [ CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY ] NOT MUCH.
WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET
OUT OF HERE.
>> HEY, BUDDY!
YOU TRYING TO PICK UP MY WIFE?!
WELL?!
>> Mordecai: NO! NO!
I'M JUST THE BABYSITTER!
>> WHAT KIND OF SICKO USES A
CHILD TO TRY TO PICK UP A
MARRIED WOMAN?!
>> [ CHITTERING ]
>> Mordecai: LOOK, IT'S NOT
REALLY LIKE THAT!
I'D NEVER GO AFTER YOUR WIFE --
HONEST!
>> OH?! SO, NOW MY WIFE ISN'T
GOOD ENOUGH?!
YOU THINK SHE'S REVOLTING JUST
BECAUSE SHE'S PREGNANT WITH
HUNDRUPLETS?!
>> [ SNARLS ]
>> WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!
>> [ ROARS ]
>> Mordecai: COME ON!
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> [ ROARS ]
>> WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE BIKE!
UGH!
>> Mordecai: C.J.!
>> WAIT! I CAN'T DRIVE!
MY ANKLE IS MESSED UP!
>> Mordecai: UH, OKAY.
THEN GET IN THE SIDECAR.
TELL ME HOW TO START IT.
>> [ ROARS ]
>> AAH! TURN THE KEY!
ON 3, LET THE CLUTCH OUT SLOWLY.
3!
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> Mordecai: WE'RE NOT GOING
FAST ENOUGH!
>> GET OUT OF 1st GEAR!
>> Mordecai: HUH?
>> YOU STALLED IT!
TURN IT BACK ON!
>> Mordecai: I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THIS WAS EASY!
>> UGH! I WAS JUST TRYING TO
LOOK COOL!
[ ENGINE REVS ]
[ ALL ROARING ]
>> CAN'T THIS THING GO ANY
FASTER?
>> Mordecai: THIS IS ALL YOUR
FAULT!
YOU MAKE IT GO FASTER!
>> I KNOW A WAY TO GO FASTER.
>> Mordecai: REALLY?
>> YEAH. YOU JUST NEED TO GET
RID OF SOME DEAD WEIGHT.
>> WELL, THEN, HURRY UP!
>> MY PLEASURE.
>> WHAT? NO!
STOP THIS AT ONCE!
>> OH, YEAH? WHY SHOULD I?
THIS WHOLE TIME YOU'VE BEEN
TRYING TO GET BETWEEN ME AND
MORDECAI.
>> NO! NO!
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ME!
>> Mordecai: YEAH, RIGHT.
YOU TOLD ME SO YOURSELF.
>> I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO
THIS DATE FOR A LONG TIME, AND
I'M SICK OF YOU MESSING IT UP!
WELL, OUT YOU GO!
>> NO! PULL ME IN!
PULL ME IN!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> [ SNORTS ]
AAAAAAAAAAH!
I'M THE VICTIM HERE!
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HIT ON MY
WIFE!
I WAS JUST PLAYING WITH MY KIDS!
[ BOOM! ]
>> HUH?
>> WE TOTALLY TRICKED THOMAS
INTO THINKING WE WERE GONNA
DROP HIM.
>> Both: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>> LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
[ ENGINE REVS ]
[ SPIRITS MOAN ]
>> CURSES!
ONE OF MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>> Mordecai: WHOA!
>> WHOA!
[ BOTH SCREAM ]
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> [ GRUNTS ]
OHH.
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
WHEN I TELL MY DADDY WHAT YOU'VE
DONE, HE'LL TORTURE YOUR SOULS
FOR ETERNITY!
GOOD LUCK GOING ON DATES THEN.
[ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]
>> UH...
>> Mordecai: SHHHH! SHH, SHH!
>> [ LAUGHING CONTINUES ]
[ VEHICLE DOOR OPENS ]
>> WHAT THE --
>> [ SNORING ]
>> SO, LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE
2 FOR 2, MORDO.
IF YOU DON'T WATCH YOURSELF,
I'LL HAVE TO ENLIST YOU AS A
FULL-TIME SITTER!
[ LAUGHS ]
>> Mordecai: [ CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY ]
>> NOW GET OUT OF MY GARAGE!
>> WAIT. YOU DON'T GET PAID?
>> Mordecai: NAH.
HE JUST LETS US LIVE.
>> WELL, REALLY, I SHOULD THANK
YOU FOR THAT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEARNED HOW
TO RIDE A BIKE SO FAST.
THAT WAS AWESOME!
>> Mordecai: YEAH. WELL, I WAS
JUST TRYING TO LOOK COOL.
>> ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
I CAN GET WANTING TO IMPRESS
YOUR DATE.
>> Mordecai: SO, DID IT WORK?
>> HE DOESN'T NEED TO
IMPRESS ME.
I ALREADY THINK HE'S COOL.
>> Mordecai: WELL, HE THINKS THE
SAME ABOUT HER.
YOU'VE REALLY BEEN LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS FOR A LONG TIME?
>> YEAH.
[ SMOOCHES ]
>> Mordecai: WANT A LIFT WHILE
WE TRY TO HAIL A CAB?
>> OH, PLEASE.
HUP!
[ BOTH LAUGH ]