[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Muscle Man: AND HE WAS ALL
LIKE, "BOOM!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Benson: HEY! [ LAUGHS ]
LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY.
STOP TALKING. SHH!
LOOK, I JUST WANT TO THANK
EVERYBODY FOR TRAINING SO HARD.
YOU'RE DOING A REAL GOOD JOB,
AND I THINK WE'RE IN GREAT SHAPE
FOR THE DODGEBALL TOURNAMENT
TOMORROW.
>> Muscle Man: I'LL SAY!
AS LONG AS MORDECAI KEEPS
THROWING THEM HEATERS!
>> Mordecai: AWW, NAW.
>> All: YEAH!
>> Thomas: YEAH, MAN.
THAT SPIN MOVE YOU WERE DOING
WAS CRAZY.
>> Mordecai: OH, YEAH?
THE TORNADO?
>> Rigby: YEAH, THE TORNADO!
WHERE'D YOU LEARN THAT?
YOU WERE LIKE, "WHAM!"
>> Hi Five: [ LAUGHS ]
IT I CRAZY-FAST.
>> Muscle Man: ONE OF THOSE
TORNADOS FLEW BY MY HEAD, AND IT
WAS ALL LIKE,
"WHOO-WHOO-WHOO-WHOO-WHOO-WHOO!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S TRUE!
>> Benson: ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
JUST SIMMER DOWN, NOW.
WE'VE ALL BEEN PLAYING GREAT,
ALL RIGHT?
[ ALL TALKING ]
BUT, IF I HAD TO BE TOTALLY
HONEST HERE, I THINK WE COULD
ALL STAND TO LEARN A LITTLE
SOMETHING FROM THIS GUY, RIGHT
HERE.
I think you're better than all
of these guys here.
>> Mordecai: [ CHUCKLES ]
THANKS, MAN.
>> Skips: HEY, TAKE IT EASY ON
THOSE WINGS, BENSON.
YOU MIGHT STILL HAVE A
CONCUSSION FROM PRACTICE.
>> Benson: NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M JUST GONNA GO AHEAD AND SAY
IT.
I THINK WE HAVE A REALLY GOOD
SHOT OF WINNING THE TOURNAMENT
THIS YEAR.
SURE WE HAVEN'T WON THIS THING
IN 10 YEARS, BUT THIS IS OUR
YEAR!
BENSON'S BALLERZ ARE GONNA WIN
THIS!
WHO'S WITH ME?
>> All: YEAH!
>> Benson: I'M SORRY!
DID YOU GUYS JUST SAY "YEAH"?
>> All: YEAH!!
>> Benson: ALL RIGHT, THEN!
LET'S DO THIS!
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
>> Mordecai: ALL RIGHT, DUDE.
YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO THROW IT
THE RIGHT WAY THIS TIME?
>> Rigby: HMM-HMM! I GOT THIS.
RIGNADO!
HYAH!
>> [ GROANS ]
>> Rigby: OHH.
>> Mordecai: UH...STILL NEEDS
WORK.
>> Benson: RIGBY! NO, NO!
NO TORNADOES!
>> HEY, A LITTLE HELP?
UGH!
>> Mordecai: AAH! OOH.
>> HEY, C.J.! COME ON!
>> Rigby: YOU'RE OUT!
>> Mordecai: UGH!
>> Rigby: DUDE, WHAT'S YOUR
DEAL?
>> Mordecai: C.J. IS HERE.
>> Rigby: ARE YOU GUYS GONNA
MAKE OUT AND RUN AWAY FROM EACH
OTHER AGAIN?
>> Mordecai: DUDE, QUIT IT!
I HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE WE
KISSED ON NEW YEAR'S EVE, AND I
FEEL WEIRD AROUND HER.
LIKE SHE STILL HATES ME FOR THE
WHOLE MOVIE MIX-UP WITH
MARGARET.
>> Rigby: THEN JUST GO TALK TO
HER ABOUT IT.
>> Mordecai: NO! UGH!
MAN, I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO
FOCUS WITH HER HERE.
WHAT IF SHE DISTRACTS ME AND I
MESS UP?
>> Rigby: DUDE, WHATEVER.
HER TEAM IS NEW.
THEY'LL PROBABLY GET ELIMINATED
IN, LIKE, TWO SECONDS.
>> Mordecai: YEAH.
I GUESS I'LL JUST TRY TO AVOID
HER.
>> Benson: COME ON, YOU TWO!
THE GAME'S ABOUT TO START!
BENSON'S BALLERZ NEEDS THEIR
STAR PLAYER.
[ CHEERING ]
>> ALL RIGHT, DODGEBALLERS.
IF YOU GET HIT, CROSS THE CENTER
LINE, OR AN OPPOSING PLAYER
CATCHES YOUR BALL, YOU'RE OUT!
FIRST PLACE GOES TO THE LAST
TEAM STANDING.
ON YOUR MARK!
GET SET!
DODGEBALL!
[ FIZZLE! ]
>> [ GROANS ]
>> HUH! COFFEE!
>> BALL OF DEATH!
[ CHEERING ]
>> Pops: BAD SHOW!
>> Rigby: WE DON'T STAND A
CHANCE AGAINST THESE GUYS.
THEY'RE USING MAGIC!
>> Benson: YOU'RE RIGHT.
LINE UP BEHIND SKIPS!
SKIPS, YOU GOT TO CATCH THESE!
WE GOT YOUR BACK!
[ HISS! ]
FINISH THIS, MORDECAI.
>> AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "NO!
IT'S 'CAUSE WE WANT THAT HUGE
TROPHY!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Benson: NO-O-O-O!!
>> WELL, BENSON, LOOKS LIKE
YOUR STAR PLAYER JUST BURNT OUT.
[ HISSES ]
>> Benson: [ SCREAMS ]
YEAH!
>> Rigby: HEY. I CAUGHT IT.
>> Benson: NO. NO!
N-O-O-O-O!
>> HA!
WELL, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
>> Rigby: [ GRUNTS ]
>> [ GROANS ]
[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]
>> YOU'RE OUT!
>> N-O-O-O-O!
[ SCREAMING ]
[ CHEERING ]
>> Benson: I'M SORRY I DOUBTED
YOU, MAN!
MORDECAI, WHAT HAPPENED OUT
THERE?
>> Mordecai: UH...
>> Rigby: THIS GIRL THAT HATES
MORDECAI IS HERE AND IT'S
MESSING UP HIS GAME.
[ WHACK! ]
>> Benson: UGH, MORDECAI!
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
>> Mordecai: IT'S COMPLICATED,
OKAY?!
>> Hi Five: HEY, WE'RE PLAYING
THE GIRLS IN THE FINAL GAME.
THE THUNDER GIRLS.
>> Mordecai: WHAT?!
UGH! WE'RE PLAYING C.J.'s TEAM?
OH, MAN! I CAN'T DO THIS!
I CAN'T DO THIS!
>> Benson: HEY. HEY!
THE ONLY THING WE CAN'T DO IS
LOSE.
WE'VE ALREADY BEAT
THE MAGICAL ELEMENTS!
WE'VE COME TOO FAR TO BACK DOWN
NOW.
TOO FAR!
[ CHEERING ]
>> ON YOUR MARK.
GET SET.
DODGEBALL!
>> Benson: OH, NICE.
>> Muscle Man: [ SCREAMING ]
UGH!
OH, NO, BRO.
>> Rigby: IN YOUR FA-- OHH!
>> Benson: UGH!
WE'RE DROPPING LIKE FLIES!
>> UGH! THEY'RE CRUSHING US!
>> Benson: WHAT IS HE DOING?!
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
UGH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS!
FINISH HER, MORDECAI!
FINISH HER SO WE CAN WIN THIS!
[ Distorted ] FINISH HER!
>> Together: [ Distorted ]
FINISH HIM!
[ ZIP! BOOM! ]
>> Mordecai: [ SCREAMS ]
[ GRUNTS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
>> MORDECAI AND C.J., YOU HAVE
BEEN SUMMONED BEFORE THE I.D.C.
>> Mordecai: THE WHAT?
>> THE INTERGALACTIC DODGEBALL
COUNCIL, DUH!
>> THE REASON THAT YOU'RE HERE
IS BECAUSE YOU'VE REACHED AN
INFINITE STAND-OFF AND WE
BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE UNABLE TO
KNOCK EACH OTHER OUT BECAUSE
YOU'RE AVOIDING YOUR HISTORY
TOGETHER.
>> [ SCOFFS ] WHAT?
WE'RE NOT AVOIDING OUR HISTORY
TOGETHER.
I MEAN, LIKE...
>> Mordecai: YEAH, WE DON'T EVEN
HAVE A HISTORY TOGETHER.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,
RIGHT?
>> OH, YEAH.
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A HISTORY
TOGETHER.
>> YOU'RE DODGING THE FACTS.
>> YES. WHY ARE YOU DODGING?
>> LET US THEN VIEW A REPLAY OF
YOUR HISTORY TOGETHER.
>> UGH, GROSS! HOW OLD ARE YOU?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> Mordecai: BUT IT'S TRUE!
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!
ARE YOU JUST PLAYING?
IS THIS A GAME TO YOU?!
OH. THAT HISTORY.
WE CAN STILL MAKE THE BEST OF
THIS.
>> Mordecai: HUH?
>> [ SMOOCHES ]
>> Mordecai: ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
EVERY TIME I SEE C.J., I MESS
UP.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO LEAD HER ON
WITH THE DATE OR THE KISS.
BUT I DID.
AND I UNDERSTAND WHY SHE'S MAD
AT ME.
>> WAIT!
I'M NOT MAD AT YOU, MORDECAI.
I WAS JUST EMBARRASSED BECAUSE
OF THE WAY I TOOK OFF AFTER WE
KISSED.
I HONESTLY THOUGHT YOU WERE MAD
AT ME!
>> Mordecai: REALLY?
>> I'M DEFINITELY NOT MAD AT
YOU.
>> Mordecai: MAN, SOMETIMES I
FEEL SO DUMB ABOUT THIS KIND OF
STUFF.
>> [ LAUGHS ] YEAH, ME TOO.
>> Mordecai: WELL...DO YOU WANT
TO START OVER?
AS FRIENDS?
>> YEAH, I'D LOVE TO!
YOU KNOW, LIKE, AS FRIENDS.
>> BUT WHAT ABOUT THE KISS?!
THE KISS?! OH, COME ON!
DID THAT NOT MEAN ANYTHING?
[ BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY ]
>> IF I'D HAVE KNOWN WHO HE WAS,
THEN I...
>> Mordecai: YEAH, I WOULD HAVE
NEVER...YOU KNOW...
>> OH, NO. TOTALLY. NEVER.
>> ALL IN FAVOR OF MORDECAI AND
C.J. RESUMING LEAGUE PLAY?
>> UGH!
FINE!
BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO TRY TO GET
EACH OTHER OUT.
>> THEN THE MATTER IS SETTLED.
YOU ARE FREE TO RESUME LEAGUE
PLAY.
[ BOTH SCREAMING ]
>> Benson: [ Distorted ] FINISH
HER!
>> Together: [ Distorted ]
FINISH HIM!
>> Mordecai: YOU GO.
>> NO, YOU GO.
>> Mordecai: NO, YOU GO.
>> OKAY!
>> Mordecai: [ GROANS ]
[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]
>> THE THUNDER GIRLS WIN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> [ Chanting ] THUNDER GIRLS!
THUNDER GIRLS!
>> Benson: N-O-O-O-O-O!!
THIS WAS THE BALLERZ'S YEAR!
THE BALLERZ'S YEAR!
>> Mordecai: HEY, GOOD GAME.
>> YOU, TOO.
>> Mordecai: UH...I'M GLAD WE'RE
FRIENDS.
>> YEAH. I'M GLAD, TOO.
I'M GLAD THAT I WHUPPED YOUR
BUTT!
OH!!
>> Mordecai: [ SCOFFS ] YEAH,
THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
PRETTY GOOD.
>> Benson: [ CRYING ]
>> Skips: THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT
YEAR, BENSON.
>> Benson: UGH.
I NEED A WING REAL BAD.
>> Eileen: ALL RIGHT, RIGBY.
WOULD YOU RATHER...COMB YOUR
HAIR WITH A HOT DOG OR HAVE FEET
FOR HANDS?
>> Rigby: [ SCOFFS ]
FEET FOR HANDS!
RUN TWICE AS FAST.
>> Mordecai: BUT HOW WOULD YOU
PLAY VIDEO GAMES?
>> Rigby: FEET FOR HANDS!
>> YOUR TURN, MORDECAI.
WOULD YOU RATHER LIVE ON A
HOUSEBOAT MADE OF GARBAGE OR EAT
A SANDWICH IN A PORTABLE TOILET?
>> Mordecai: PORTABLE TOILET.
>> YOU'D REALLY DO THAT?
>> Mordecai: [ CHUCKLES ]
OVER A GARBAGE HOUSEBOAT,
OBVIOUSLY.
IT'D SMELL BAD, AND THEN THE
WATER WOULD MAKE IT SMELL MORE.
AND THEN YOU'VE JUST GOT A BIG
PILE OF WET GARBAGE.
>> SO, YOU'RE SAYING YOU WOULD
EAT A SANDWICH IN A PORTABLE
TOILET?
>> Mordecai: YES.
>> HUH.
JUST SO HAPPENS I'VE GOT MY
SANDWICH RIGHT HERE.
[ GASPS ]
AND WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?
>> Rigby: OH, TIME TO PUT YOUR
SANDWICH WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!
>> Mordecai: YOU CAN'T BE
SERIOUS.
>> WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
MY SANDWIC IS CHICKEN, TOO.
>> Both: OHHHHHHH!
>> Eileen: SHE'S GOT YOU THERE,
MORDECAI.
>> Mordecai: ARE YOU DARING ME?
'CAUSE IF YOU'RE GONNA DARE ME,
JUST DARE ME.
>> ALL RIGHT. I DARE YOU.
>> Mordecai: OH.
SO WE'RE JUST CHANGING GAMES
NOW.
FINE, THEN.
>> WAIT!
HOW WILL WE KNOW IF YOU ACTUALLY
DO IT?
>> Eileen: RIGHT.
IT'S NOT A LEGITIMATE DARE
WITHOUT A CREDIBLE WITNESS.
>> Rigby: FINE.
I'LL BE THE INCREDIBLE WITNESS.
>> Eileen: SO, WERE YOU PLANNING
THAT THE WHOLE TIME, OR...
>> NAH.
IT WAS MORE OF AN IMPULSE.
>> Mordecai: HUH.
I GOT TO SAY, THIS IS PRETTY
CLASSY.
>> Rigby: I GUESS IF I NEEDED TO
GO OUTSIDE, I'D DO IT HERE.
SO, YOU'RE REALLY GOING THROUGH
WITH THIS?
I CAN JUST VOUCH FOR YOU, YOU
KNOW.
IT'S NOT BIG DEAL.
>> Mordecai: I'M A MAN OF MY
WORD.
SO, C.J. AND EILEEN SEEM TO BE
GETTING ALONG.
>> Rigby: YEAH, I GUESS.
[ High-pitched ] "BOY, WE HAVE
SO MUCH IN COMMON.
WOULD YOU RATHER AWKWARDLY KISS
MORDECAI ON NEW YEAR'S EVE OR
DARE HIM TO EAT A SANDWICH IN A
PORTABLE TOILET?
OH, WOW! BOTH?!"
[ Normal voice ] OH.
YOU'RE DONE.
>> Mordecai: [ GULPS ]
EASY-PEASY, NO BIG DEASY!
[ POP ]
>> Rigby: GREAT.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
[ RATTLING ]
IT'S STUCK.
>> Mordecai: DUDE, THAT'S NOT
FUNNY.
>> Rigby: WHY WOULD I JOKE ABOUT
THIS?!
YOU KNOW HOW I AM WITH SMALL
SPACES!
[ BREATHING SHAKILY ]
>> Mordecai: COME ON, DUDE.
TRY AND CALM DOWN.
>> Rigby: OKAY. I'M TRYING.
CALM.
>> Mordecai: GOOD.
C.J. AND EILEEN ARE RIGHT OUT
THERE.
THEY'LL COME AND GET US ANY
MINUTE, RIGHT?
UH, RIGBY?
RIGBY?!
>> Rigby: WE'RE GONNA STARVE
BEFORE THEY FIND US!
WHY'D YOU EAT THE WHOLE
SANDWICH?!
YOU SHOULD HAVE SAVED SOME JUST
IN CASE!
>> Mordecai: DUDE, THAT MAKES NO
SENSE!
>> Rigby: YOU MAKES NO SENSE!
[ SCREAMS ]
HELP!
I'M TRAPPED IN HERE WITH A CRAZY
PERSON!
[ SCREAMS ]
>> Eileen: I THINK THE CHARACTER
I LOVE TO HATE THE MOST IS
KING HARRY.
HE'S SUCH A PILL.
[ POUNDING ]
>> HUH?
[ POUNDING CONTINUES ]
>> Rigby: [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
>> HEY, GUYS, HOW'S IT GOING IN
THERE?
>> Mordecai: WELL, THINGS ARE
GOING FINE.
THE SANDWICH IS DONE.
BUT, UH, NOW IT'S KIND OF...
>> Rigby: THE DOOR IS STUCK!
GET US OUT OF HERE!
>> OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
[ BOTH SNICKERING ]
DO YOU NEED SOME -- OH, WHAT
IS THE WORD I'M LOOKING FOR?
>> Eileen: IT'S ON THE TIP OF MY
TONGUE.
"HELP"?
>> OH, YEAH.
...HELP OR SOMETHING?
>> Rigby: YES!
COULD YOU PLEASE HELP US?
>> I GUESS WE COULD TRY.
[ GRUNTS ]
OH. IT REALLY IS STUCK.
>> Rigby: [ SCREAMS ]
>> Eileen: I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE
BROUGHT MY KEYSMITH MULTI-TOOL
TODAY.
NEVER DOUBT YOUR GUT, EILEEN.
>> Mordecai: THERE'S SOME TOOLS
IN THE GARAGE.
>> ALL RIGHT. HOLD TIGHT.
DON'T RUN OUT OF OXYGEN IN
THERE.
>> Eileen: [ CHUCKLES ]
I GET THAT YOU'RE JOKING, BUT
ACTUALLY, PORTABLE TOILETS ARE
QUITE WELL-VENTILATED.
>> Mordecai: THIS THING IS
BRAND-NEW.
HOW DID THE HANDLE GET STUCK
LIKE --
WHA--
OH! WHAT IS THIS STUFF?
>> Rigby: THAT'S MEATBALL GRAVY.
>> Mordecai: HOW DID MEATBALL
GRAVY GET ON THE DOORKNOB,
RIGBY?
>> Rigby: I WAS EATING
MEATBALLS!
>> Mordecai: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO EAT MEATBALLS WITH YOUR
HANDS, DUDE.
>> Rigby: HANDS ARE NATURE'S
FORKS!
>> Mordecai: [ GROANS ]
TRY THE WINDOW OR SOMETHING.
>> Rigby: [ GRUNTS ]
I CAN'T EVEN GET MY FINGERS
THROUGH THE HOLES.
THEY'RE LIKE TINY PRISON BARS.
>> Mordecai: ALL RIGHT.
OPTION 2 -- LET'S RAM THE DOOR.
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
>> Rigby: [ GROANS ]
>> Mordecai: [ GROANS ]
UNH!
[ GROANS ]
>> Muscle Man: SO, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TONIGHT?
>> Hi Five: I GOT TO HOUSE-SIT
MY COUSIN'S DOG.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
>> Muscle Man: THAT ON-TARGET
1.2 COMBINATION MODEL'S BEEN
SINGING MY NAME ALL WEEK.
>> Hi Five: OH.
THEY FINALLY INSTALLED THAT NEW
OUTHOUSE?
>> Muscle Man: SHOW SOME
RESPECT, BRO.
IT'S CALLED A PORTABLE TOILET.
>> Hi Five: OKAY.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.
>> Muscle Man: OH, I WILL, BRO.
I WILL.
I'M YOURS NOW, BABY.
WHAT?!
NO! THIS IS NOT OKAY.
[ Speed-dialing ]
YEAH. IT'S MUSCLE MAN.
WE GOT A CODE 67 OVER HERE.
MAKE SURE SHE GETS A GOOD HOME!
>> SHE WILL!
DECOMMISSIONED UNITS GET SENT TO
THE MILITARY FOR TARGET
PRACTICE.
>> Muscle Man: THAT'S SO
HONORABLE!
>> Eileen: ALL RIGHT.
FIRST, WE'LL TEST THE --
[ SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> Muscle Man: EILEEN!
UH...SECOND GIRL.
THIS IS NOT AWKWARD.
>> Eileen: OKAY...
>> Muscle Man: I SAID IT'S NOT
AWKWARD!
[ INHALES ]
LISTEN, LADIES, I KNOW THIS
MODEL WAS VOTED THRONE OF THE
YEAR BY FLUSH TWICE QUARTERLY,
BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT
YOUR TURN.
>> MORDECAI AND RIGBY WERE
LOCKED IN HERE.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY WENT?
>> Muscle Man: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
OH.
UH...
OKAY. YEP.
WELL...THIS IS AWKWARD.
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
>> Rigby: [ Weakly ] HELLO?
>> Where are you guys?
>> Rigby: LET ME CHECK.
[ SCREAMS ]
>> TRY AND SIT TIGHT.
MUSCLE MAN IS DEALING WITH IT.
HE SAYS HE KNOWS A GUY.
>> Muscle Man: [ SCOFFS ] WEAK.
I GOT THE AUTOMATED SYSTEM.
>> For toilet replacement, press
"1."
>> Muscle Man: NO!
UNDO REPLACEMENT.
>> You have selected toilet
replacement.
>> Muscle Man: NO!
>> This is your second
replacement today.
>> Muscle Man: PUT ME THROUGH TO
THE MILITARY!
>> Thank you for calling
On-Target.
Goodbye.
[ Dial tone ]
>> Muscle Man: AAAAAAAAAH!
[ GRUNTS ]
IT DIDN'T WORK.
>> WHERE ARE YOU NOW?
>> Rigby: UH...
UH...
IT LOOKS LIKE THE MOON -- A
HORRIFYING MOON OF DEATH!
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THAT IS?
>> WHAT?
>> Rigby: HOLD ON A SECOND.
[ CLATTER ]
>> Mordecai: HUH? WHA?
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> Both: WHOA!
>> Rigby: Aaah!
>> Mordecai: Whoa!
>> ARE YOU GUYS ALL RIGHT?
>> Mordecai: I THINK WE'RE
LANDING.
>> Rigby: IT LOOKS LIKE...
A STATE FAIR.
>> Mordecai: WHAT?
No, dude! It's a military base!
>> Rigby: How should I know?
I've never been to a military
base.
>> Mordecai: You've never been
to a state fair, either.
>> Muscle Man: UH-OH.
OKAY, LADIES.
NOW, DON'T GO WACKO ON ME, BUT
SOMETIMES, THE MILITARY USES
DECOMMISSIONED TOILETS FOR
TARGET PRACTICE.
>> Both: WHAT?!
>> MM-HMM. HMM.
>> YES.
>> MM.
HMM.
>> AGREED.
WILL DO, SIR.
BEGIN TEST PHASE OF THE
F-29 DISINTEGRATOR LASER SYSTEM.
>> PERMISSION TO SPEAK FREELY,
SIR?
>> NO.
>> PERMISSION TO SPEAK FREELY,
SIR?
>> GRANTED.
>> SIR, WHY DO WE TEST THE
SATELLITE LASER ON PORTABLE
TOILETS, SIR?
>> WHY DO WE TEST ON PORTABLE
TOILETS?!
WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO STOP THE
ENEMIES AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE.
ENEMIES AND PORTABLE TOILETS
HAVE TWO THINGS IN COMMON --
THEY'RE BOTH SOULLESS AND
THEY'RE ABOUT THE SAME SIZE.
>> CAN NEVER BE TOO SAFE, SIR.
>> YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.
NOW, I DO NOT FEEL LIKE BEING
INTIMIDATED TODAY, SO LET'S PUT
SOME TAXPAYER MONEY TO GOOD USE.
BEGIN LASER SEQUENCE!
[ BEEPING ]
3...2...1.
LET'S DROP A LASER-GUIDED
NUMBER 2 ON THIS TURD BUCKET.
[ CLICK ]
[ BOTH SCREAM ]
>> Rigby: HURRY UP AND HELP US!
>> Mordecai: YOU GUYS GOT TO
COME QUICK!
WE'RE GONNA DIE OUT --
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
>> WE LOST THEM!
[ BOTH GASP ]
I'LL TRY AND FLAG THEM DOWN!
>> [ VOCALIZING ]
>> Eileen: [ SCOFFS ]
>> WHAT'S WRONG?
>> Eileen: MY SIGNALS AREN'T
WORKING!
>> NO!
NOW WHAT DO WE DO?
THIS IS TERRIBLE!
>> Eileen: TRY AND KEEP CALM.
>> KEEP CALM?!
FINALLY THINGS STOP BEING WEIRD
WITH MORDECAI, AND NOW HE'S
GONNA GET KILLED, AND IT'S ALL
BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID DARE
WHICH WASN'T EVEN CLEVER.
>> Eileen: C.J.!
[ WHIRRING ]
DO YOU TRUST ME?
>> YEAH.
>> Eileen: WOULD YOU RATHER LET
MORDECAI AND RIGBY GET KILLED OR
JUMP INTO THAT PORTABLE TOILET
AND RESCUE THEM?
>> [ INHALES DEEPLY ]
>> THAT'S EASY.
>> Rigby: I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
OPEN THIS FOR SO LONG, I CAN'T
FEEL MY ARMS.
[ Sarcastically ] THANK YOU,
MORDECAI!
>> Mordecai: HEY, YOU DIDN'T
HAVE TO CLOSE THE DOOR.
>> Rigby: DON'T PUT THIS ON ME,
MAN!
I'M NOT THE ONE WHO FLIRTS BY
TAKING TOILET DARES!
>> Mordecai: QUIET!
[ INDISTINCT ARGUING ]
[ BOTH PANTING ]
>> CONTINUE TESTING.
>> OH, NO.
UH, PERMISSION TO SPEAK FREELY,
SIR?
>> NO.
>> PERMISSION TO SPEAK FREELY,
SIR?
>> GRANTED.
>> DIDN'T THE PRESIDENT SAY TO
LIMIT TESTING BECAUSE EACH BLAST
COSTS $3 BILLION?
>> THE PRESIDENT'S NOT MY
FATHER!
I'LL BLOW UP AS MANY TOILETS AS
I LIKE!
NOW CONTINUE TESTING!
[ BEEPING ]
>> HOW MUCH TIME DO WE HAVE?
>> Eileen: UH...NONE!
>> THEY GOT TO BE HERE
SOMEWHERE.
COME ON!
>> Eileen: WE NEED TO SPLIT UP.
>> MORDECAI! RIGBY!
>> OH! THANKS, LADY!
>> Eileen: ANY LUCK?
>> NO.
>> Rigby: WE'RE RIGHT HERE!
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
>> Eileen: [ GRUNTS ]
IT'S STILL STUCK!
>> GET THE TOOLS.
>> INITIATE HUMONGOUS EXPLOSION
CYCLE.
[ BEEPING ]
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
>> Mordecai: WE HAVE TO DO IT
TOGETHER!
>> ON MY MARK.
>> Both: 3...2...1...
>> Mordecai: RUN!
>> WHAT WERE YOU KIDS THINKING?!
YOU'RE LUCKY WE SAW YOUR HEAT
SIGNATURES SO WE COULD
DISTINGUISH YOU FROM THE DEBRIS.
>> SIR, THE PRESIDENT'S ON THE
LINE.
>> [ GROANS ]
HELLO?
>> Mordecai: THANKS FOR GETTING
US OUT OF THERE, GUYS.
>> COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT
YOU.
>> Eileen: YEAH.
YOU GUYS WERE HITTING THAT DOOR
PRETTY HARD.
C.J. JUMPED INTO A MOVING
HELICOPTER.
>> Mordecai: WOW. REALLY?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, MORE LIKE A
PORTABLE TOILET BEING CARRIED BY
A HELICOPTER.
>> Eileen: AIN'T NO BIGGIE.
>> WE'R NOT THE ONES GETTING
STUCK IN PORTABLE TOILETS.
>> Mordecai: [ SCOFFS ]
WHATEVER.
IT WAS YOUR BET.
>> HEY, EILEEN, WOULD YOU RATHER
SIT HERE AND BE BORING OR GO
PLAY WITH THAT SPACE LASER?
>> Both: SPACE LASER!
>> HEY, COULD WE TRY THIS THING
OUT?
>> WELL, I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.
>> Rigby: WOW.
C.J.'s PRETTY COOL.
>> Mordecai: [ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH. SHE IS.
[ LAUGHTER ]