>> Muscle Man: DUDE, I CAN'T
BELIEVE YOU CAN'T EVEN LIFT ONE
BOX.
>> Mordecai: SHUT YOUR FACE!
I CAN LIFT IT!
>> Muscle Man: DUDE, YOU SOUND
LIKE POPS CRYING.
>> Mordecai: FINE. YOU TRY.
>> Muscle Man: FINE.
>> Mordecai: SEE?
IT'S NOT SO EASY.
>> Muscle Man: SHUT
YOUR FACE.
>> Mordecai:
DUDE, IT'S "21-12 TIME ATTACK"
DIRECTOR'S CUT ON LASERDISC!
>> Muscle Man: WHOA. WHOA.
HOLD ON.
IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, I'D
THINK I JUST HEARD YOU SAY,
"THAT'S '21-12 TIME ATTACK' ON
LASERDISC."
>> Rigby: THAT'S THE DIRECTOR'S
CUT?
IT'S INCREDIBLY RARE.
>> Muscle Man: WHICH MEANS WE
INCREDIBLY HAVE TO WATCH THIS
RIGHT NOW.
>> Rigby: AND HOW ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO PLAY IT?
WE DON'T HAVE A LASERDISC
PLAYER.
>> Muscle Man: DON'T WORRY,
DUDES.
I KNOW A PLACE.
ALL RIGHT.
LET ME DO THE TALKING.
HEY, TIMMY!
>> MUSCLE MAN. HOW'S IT BEEN?
>> Muscle Man: OH, YOU KNOW,
JUST TAKING IT EASY.
LISTEN, WE'RE LOOKING FOR A
LASERDISC PLAYER.
>> OH, YOU MEAN "LAMERDISC
PLAYER."
YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK, DUDE.
NOBODY CARRIES
THOSE THINGS ANYMORE.
>> Muscle Man: COME ON, MAN.
YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING!
>> SORRY.
THOSE THINGS ARE ANCIENT.
WHY DON'T YOU
GO CHECK IN A LIBRARY?
>> HEY-OH!
BECAUSE A LIBRARY'S WHERE OLD,
JUNKY STUFF GOES.
>> Both: HEY-OH!
AW, YEAH.
>> Muscle Man: IT'S NOT FUNNY.
>> Mordecai: COME ON.
LET'S JUST GO.
>> Muscle Man: THEY KEEP
LAUGHING, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!
>> Mordecai: OKAY.
WE CAN SEARCH FOR ONE HERE.
"LASERDISC PLAYER."
>> Muscle Man: WHY'S IT TAKING
SO LONG?
>> Mordecai: GIVE IT A SECOND!
>> HELLO, FRIENDS.
WE OVERHEARD YOU WERE LOOKING
FOR A LASERDISC PLAYER.
HOW ABOUT A VCR, INSTEAD?
>> "VHS -- THE VHS-BEST."
>> Mordecai: UH, NO, THANKS.
>> Rigby: THE LASERDISC IS WHAT
WE WANT.
GOOD LUCK FINDING ONE OF THOSE.
THERE'S PLENTY OF VHS TAPES OUT
THERE.
>> "VHS -- QUANTITY."
>> Rigby: LASERDISC IS HIGHER
QUALITY, THOUGH.
>> WELL, TRUE, BUT DID YOU KNOW
THE BRAIN CAN ONLY PROCESS SO
MUCH INFORMATION?
>> "VHS -- CAN'T TELL THE
DIFFERENCE."
>> Muscle Man: HEY, LOSERS,
YOU'RE ALL UP IN OUR BUSINESS.
LEAVE US ALONE.
>> YOU'RE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE.
>> Mordecai: YES! THEY HAVE ONE.
>> Muscle Man: HEY, OLD MAN!
>> Mordecai: GET US YOUR
LASERDISC PLAYER.
>> LASERDISC PLAYER?
NO, NO.
WE DON'T HAVE ONE HERE.
>> Mordecai: WHAT?
IT SAID THERE'S ONE IN THE
BASEMENT.
>> THE COMPUTER'S OUT OF DATE,
KID.
>> Muscle Man: LOOK AT HIS FACE,
MORDO.
THIS DUDE IS LYING.
>> SO, I'M A LIAR, AM I?!
I'LL SHOW YA!
>> Mordecai: THERE MUST BE
THOUSANDS OF DIFFERENT FORMATS
HERE.
>> OF COURSE.
THIS IS A LIBRARY.
BUT AS YOU CAN SEE, NO LASERDISC
PLAYER.
>> All: AW.
>> NOT THAT IT WOULD DO YOU ANY
GOOD EVEN IF YOU COULD FIND ONE.
ALL THE LASERDISCS WERE
DESTROYED -- WIPED OUT BY VHS.
>> Rigby: NUH-UNH!
>> Mordecai: SEE?
>> Muscle Man: YEAH. SEE?
>> All: SEE? SEE? SEE?
>> "21-12" -- THE LAST
LASERDISC.
THE PROPHECY!
>> Muscle Man: WHAT?
>> YEARS AGO, IT WAS FORETOLD
FOUR CHOSEN ONES WOULD REUNITE
THE LAST LASERDISC WITH THE LAST
LASERDISC PLAYER AND END THE
FORMAT WARS ONCE AND FOR ALL.
>> Rigby: LOOK, WE JUST WANT TO
WATCH THE MOVIE.
>> IN TIME...
FOR YOU ARE THE DISC MASTERS!
>> Mordecai: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO.
>> YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES,
YES.
THIS NEW FORMAT WAS PERFECT --
TOO PERFECT.
VHS NEEDED TO STOP LASERDISC'S
SUPERIOR IMAGE AND SOUND
FIDELITY BEFORE IT COULD SPREAD
THROUGHOUT SOCIETY.
SADLY, CONSUMERS HEARD OF IT
THROUGH WHISPERS AND RUMORS.
BUT VHS WASTED NO TIME IN
SNUFFING IT OUT.
OH, WE TRIED TO PRESERVE THE
LASERDISC FOR FUTURE
GENERATIONS...
...BUT FAILED.
WHEN THEIR ATTACK WAS DONE, ONLY
ONE LASERDISC PLAYER REMAINED.
I AM THE LAST OF MY ORDER, SWORN
TO PROTECT THE FINAL LASERDISC
PLAYER.
AND YOU -- YOU'RE THE CHOSEN
ONES WHO WILL SET ME FREE.
>> Mordecai: WH-O-O-OA.
WHEN DID ALL THIS HAPPEN?
>> TWO YEARS AGO.
MAY I?
>> Mordecai: FINE.
>> GOOD HEAVENS.
>> S.P. TO L.P., S.P. TO L.P.
TIME TO FAST-FORWARD.
>> Rigby: WHAT ARE THOSE
STATUES?
>> THEY'RE THE GUARDIANS OF
OBSOLETE FORMATS.
BETAMAX, 8-TRACK, FLOPPY DISK,
REEL-TO-REEL.
YOU SEE, ONE DOES NOT JUST TAKE
THE LAST LASERDISC PLAYER.
YOU MUST AWAKEN THE GUARDIANS
FIRST.
>> Muscle Man: WHAT THAT...?
AW, MAN. SICK.
>> All: OOH.
>> Muscle Man: WE DID IT.
>> DISC MASTERS, BEHOLD THE LAST
LASERDISC PLAYER.
>> Mordecai: COOL.
>> MY LIEGE.
>> All: WH-O-O-OA.
>> THEY ARE YOUR PROTECTORS.
THE LASERDISC FORMAT HAS MANY
ENEMIES WHO WILL STOP AT NOTHING
TO DESTROY THOSE WHO WIELD ITS
POWER.
KNOWING THE DANGERS, WILL YOU
STILL TAKE THE PLAYER?
>> Mordecai: YEAH.
>> Rigby: WE JUST REALLY WANT TO
WATCH THIS.
>> ONE MORE THING.
>> Muscle Man: WHAT NOW, BRO?
>> LIBRARY CARD, PLEASE.
>> Muscle Man: I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DON'T HAVE A LIBRARY CARD.
>> Rigby: YOU DON'T HAVE ONE,
EITHER.
>> OKAY. ALL SET.
>> HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
>> Mordecai: HUH?
>> WE TOLD YOU YOU WERE MAKING A
MISTAKE.
>> Rigby: AW, COME ON!
>> Muscle Man: DIDN'T WE TELL
YOU LOSERS TO GET LOST?
>> WE CAN'T GET LOST.
FOR, YOU SEE, WE ARE THE
ANCIENT ORDER OF THE VHS.
THANK YOU FOR REVEALING THE
LOCATION OF THE LAST LASERDISC
PLAYER.
NOW HAND IT OVER OR DIE!
>> "VHS -- YOUR VH-DEATH."
>> LASERDISC WILL
RISE AGAIN, FOR THEY ARE THE
CHOSEN ONES, AND THEY WOULD
GLADLY DIE FOR LASERDISC.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, DISC MASTERS?
>> All: UH...
>> Rigby: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
DIE, PER SE.
>> VERY WELL.
>> FIRE!
CHARGE!
>> BOOMER-REEL!
>> RGB BEAM!
>> RANDOM-ACCESS MAYHEM!
>> SEND IN THE TAPE REWINDERS!
>> RUN!
>> I GOT THIS!
HUH? WHERE AM I?
>> YES! WE'RE DOING IT!
>> THE DAY WE'VE WORKED FOR IS
UPON US!
>> INDEED.
OH, NO.
>> THE VC-ARBITRATOR!
I'LL HANDLE THIS.
>> 8-TRACK! N-O-O-O-O!
>> 8-TRACK ATTACK!
>> AAH!
>> 8-TRA-A-A-CK!
HE WAS TWO WEEKS FROM
RETIREMENT.
AAH!
>> Muscle Man: EVERYONE OKAY?
>> DISC MASTERS...
I'M...DONE FOR.
I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD COME TO
THIS, BUT WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF
OPTIONS.
IT'S TIME I SHED THIS WEAK HUMAN
FORM.
PLACE THE LASERDISC ON MY CHEST.
>> Rigby: OKAY.
>> NOW TOUCH HANDS AND CHANT,
"SIC SEMPER FIDELITY."
>> All: UM...
>> JUST DO IT!
>> All: SIC SEMPER FIDELITY.
SIC SEMPER FIDELITY.
SIC SEMPER --
WHOA!
>> THE LASERDISC GUARDIAN!
>> IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
>> Both: WHAT?
>> DISC MASTERS, COVER YOUR
EARS.
>> Both: OKAY.
>> NO, NO. COVER YOUR EARS.
>> 44.1 KILOHERTZ SAMPLE RATE!
>> AAH!
>> DUDE, MUSCLE MAN, MY BOSS
HEARD ME MAKING FUN OF YOU, AND
HE TOTALLY FIRED ME.
IS IT COOL IF I HANG OUT WITH
YOU GUYS?
>> INFRARED BLAST!
INFRARED BLAST!
>> All: HUZZAH!
>> DISC MASTERS, THE FORMAT WARS
ARE OVER!
>> AGREED.
>> ALL HAIL THE DISC MASTERS!
>> All: HAIL!
>> Muscle Man: SO, CAN WE WATCH
"21-12 TIME ATTACK" NOW?
>> SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY --
THEY'RE...ATTACKING?
BUT THEY'RE FROM ANOTHER TIME!
>> I GUESS IT'S JUST LIKE MY
GRANDFATHER BOT SAID --
"IN 21-12, ANYTHING IS
POSSIBLE."
>> THIS TRULY IS A 21-12 TIME
ATTACK.
WE'RE GONNA NEED A LOT MORE
HOVERBIKES.
>> Mordecai: DUDE, IT'S GETTING
LATE.
HOW MUCH IS LEFT?
>> Mordecai: 2 1/2 HOURS?
>> Muscle Man: THE DIRECTOR'S
ORIGINAL VISION BLOWS.
>> Mordecai: THE PICTURE'S
AMAZING.
>> Rigby: HU-- HU-- HUUUU--
>> Mordecai: WHAT?
>> Rigby: HU-- HU--
HUNDRED-DOLLAR BILL!
WHAT THE...?!
>> Mordecai: GET IN!
>> Rigby: AW, MAN!
IT'S THOSE COUNTRY-CLUB JERKS!
THEY TOTALLY FELL FOR IT.
>> THAT'S RICH!
>> KIND OF LIKE US.
>> Rigby: YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY
TO DO THAT TO PEOPLE?!
>> Mordecai: LET'S SEE HOW YOU
LIKE IT!
>> Rigby: HM-HM-HM-HM!
HM-HM-HM-HM! HM!
>> OH! STOP! SECURITY!
>> Mordecai: AAH!
UNGH!
HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR GOLF CART!
>> HERE AT THE COUNTRY CLUB, WE
CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, BABE.
>> Rigby: GIVE US BACK OUR CART!
>> I'D RATHER NOT.
YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA DESTROY IT
TONIGHT AT OUR ANNUAL
SUMMER SOLSTICE EVENT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, DEAR?
>> OH, I THINK IT'S A MARVELOUS
IDEA.
NOW, WHAT DO YOU ALL SAY WE
LEAVE THIS SIDESHOW AND GET
SOME HORS D'OEUVRES?
>> Mordecai: MAN, FORGET THIS.
I'M GOING TO GET THE CART.
>> Both: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
>> Rigby: MAN, BENSON'S GONNA
KILL US WHEN HE FINDS OUT THE
CART IS MISSING.
>> Mordecai: HE'S NOT GONNA FIND
OUT.
GUYS, WE NEED YOUR HELP.
>> Pops: WHAT'S THE MATTER?
>> Rigby: YOU GUYS HAVE TO
PROMISE NOT TO TELL BENSON.
THE GOLF CART JUST GOT
CONFISCATED BY THE COUNTRY CLUB,
AND WE NEED YOUR GUYS' HELP TO
BREAK IN AND GET IT BACK.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?!
DIDN'T YOU GUYS HEAR US?!
>> Muscle Man: YEAH, WE HEARD
YOU, BRO.
BUT I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR
THAT COUNTRY CLUB.
>> Mordecai: WHAT? WHY?!
>> Muscle Man: A COUPLE OF YEARS
AGO, THEY CONFISCATED A MEAT
LOCKER I HAD OUTSIDE OF MY
TRAILER.
>> Hi Five: THEY ALSO STOLE MY
FOUR-WHEELER.
>> Pops: MY PRIZED ORCHID.
>> Thomas: WAIT -- THERE'S A
COUNTRY CLUB?
>> Skips: I'VE HAD TO REPLACE 30
DREAM CATCHERS 'CAUSE OF THOSE
GUYS.
AND WITH THE AMOUNT OF MONEY
THEY HAVE, THEY'RE UNSTOPPABLE.
SO STAY AWAY FROM THEM.
>> Mordecai: COME ON, GUYS.
WE CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU.
>> Skips: SORRY. NO CAN DO.
>> Mordecai: YEAH, WELL, WE
DON'T HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE.
IF WE DON'T GET THE CART BACK,
THEN BENSON'S GONNA KILL US!
>> Rigby: ALL RIGHT, FINE!
WE'LL GO IN OURSELVES!
BUT CAN YOU GUYS AT LEAST MAKE
SURE BENSON DOESN'T FIND OUT
ABOUT THE CART BEFORE WE GET
BACK?
>> Skips: YEAH, WE CAN DO THAT.
>> Mordecai: REMEMBER, WE'VE GOT
TO BLEND IN.
>> WELL, THAT WAS AN ABSOLUTELY
TERRIFIC MATCH.
>> Mordecai: 40-LOVE, AM I
RIGHT?
>> Rigby: ACE.
>> JUST SWELL.
>> Mordecai: LET'S START IN
HERE.
>> Both: WH-O-O-O-O-O-OA.
>> All: CHEERS.
>> Rigby: THIS PLACE IS CRAZY.
IS THIS A BATHROOM?
>> Mordecai: WEIRD.
LET'S KEEP GOING.
WHAT THE...?
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE TOILETS?
>> DID YOU
HEAR SOMETHING?
>> MAYBE IT
WAS YOUR IMAGINATION.
>> JA, I ALWAYS LET MY
IMAGINATION GET THE BEST OF ME.
>> Both: WHEW!
>> Benson: OKAY, I'M TIRED OF
ASKING QUESTIONS, SO NOW YOU'RE
GOING TO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING
ON.
THOMAS, I KNOW YOU KNOW.
>> Thomas: HUH?! WHA--
>> Benson: I SUGGEST YOU SPILL
IT!
>> Skips: ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY
SETTLE DOWN.
>> Benson: WELL, LOOK WHO
DECIDED TO CHIME IN.
>> Skips: OKAY, I'M GONNA TELL
YOU WHAT'S GOING ON, BUT YOU'RE
NOT GONNA LIKE IT.
>> Benson: WHAT?!
>> Both: HUH? WHA--?
>> WELL, WELL, WELL.
EVERYONE, PLEASE JOIN ME IN
WELCOMING OUR HONORED GUESTS.
>> Mordecai: LET US GO!
>> Rigby: YEAH, AND GIVE US OUR
CART BACK!
>> OH, YOU'LL BE SEEING YOUR OLD
CART SOON ENOUGH.
BUT NOT BEFORE WE MAKE A FEW
IMPROVEMENTS.
>> Mordecai: WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"IMPROVEMENTS"?
>> WE'LL BE TURNING IT INTO A
TOILET!
BRING OUT THE TOILET-MAKING
MACHINE!
>> Rigby: YOU HAVE A MACHINE
THAT TURNS THINGS INTO TOILETS?!
>> YEAH, I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU
TO UNDERSTAND.
YOU'RE NOT RICH!
>> NOT AT ALL.
>> GOOD ONE, PUMPKIN CHEEKS.
BUT IF YOU WERE, YOU'D KNOW THAT
THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IN
LIFE IS TURNING OTHER PEOPLE'S
THINGS INTO TOILETS!
>> Mordecai: WHAT?!
THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY
SENSE!
>> Rigby: YEAH!
AND YOU ALREADY HAVE A TON OF
TOILETS.
WHY DO YOU NEED TO TURN OUR GOLF
CART INTO ONE?
>> BECAUSE THIS IS A SPECIAL
OCCASION.
WE'RE GONNA SHOOT IT INTO OUTER
SPACE!
IT'S THE RICHEST WAY TO
CELEBRATE THE SUMMER SOLSTICE.
>> HEY, WHY DON'T WE TURN THEM
INTO TOILETS AND SHOOT THEM INTO
SPACE?
>> EXCELLENT IDEA, ROGER.
NOW BRING OUT THE CART AND START
THE MACHINE.
YES.
>> DID YOU GET YOUR WIFE
ANYTHING FOR THE SOLSTICE?
STOP! THIS IS INVITE-ONLY!
>> Both: HMM?
>> WHAT?!
>> Benson: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL
ME THE COUNTRY CLUB STOLE THE
CART?!
THESE GUYS HAVE BEEN TAKING OUR
STUFF LONG ENOUGH!
>> All: YEAH!
>> Benson: WELL, NOT THIS TIME.
NOT EVERYONE CAN JUST BUY
ANOTHER BOOM BOX WHEN THEIRS
GETS STOLEN, YOU KNOW.
SOME OF US HAVE TO WORK REALLY
HARD TO REPLACE OUR BOOM BOXES.
SO I THINK IT'S TIME WE TAKE
BACK WHAT'S OURS!
>> THAT MAY BE A LITTLE
DIFFICULT, SEEING AS HOW YOU'RE
NOT RICH!
CALL IN THE CAVALRY!
>> Rigby: OW!
>> Mordecai: LOOK OUT!
>> Muscle Man: AAAAAAAAAH!
>> Mordecai: LET'S GET THE CART.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MESSED WITH
US, MAN!
>> Rigby: LET ME HANDLE THIS.
IN YOUR FACE!
I'VE HAD 67 FACE-LIFTS!
I CAN'T FEEL A THING!
>> Both: AAAAAAAAAAH!
>> AND I HAD TIGER TENDONS
IMPLANTED IN MY HANDS.
SO I CAN MESS WITH WHOEVER I
PLEASE!
>> Thomas: WHOA!
>> Benson: HEY, WATCH IT!
HE'S JUST AN INTERN!
>> INTERN THIS, BUDDY!
>> Pops:
>> Skips:
>> DISABLE
THE WATER CANNON.
>> Pops:
>> Muscle Man:
WHERE'S IT COMING FROM?!
WE'VE GOT TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE
TOWER!
>> Mordecai:
>> Rigby:
>> YOU'RE RUINING THE SOLSTICE!
THE CART WILL GO THROUGH!
>> Rigby: OHH!
>> STOP! STOP IT!
>> Muscle Man: THOMAS, DON'T LET
THEIR BALLS HIT YOU!
THOMA-A-A-A-S!
>> Skips:
>> Both: N-O-O-O-O-O!
>> Mordecai: MUSCLE MAN!
YOU GOT TO STALL THE MACHINE!
>> Muscle Man: I'M ON IT!
>> OH! IT SMELLS LIKE BARF!
AAAAAAAH!
>> Hi Five: THERE! SHOOT IT!
>> Both: NOW!
>> HEY!
>> Muscle Man: YES!
>> NO!
YOU CAN'T STOP THE MACHINE!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH
THIS THING COSTS?!
>> Mordecai: WELL, THEN, I HOPE
YOU GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH.
NO!
NO! NO!
N-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!!
>> Hi Five: I WONDER IF I CAN
STILL RIDE THIS-FOUR WHEELER.
>> Muscle Man: I DON'T KNOW, BUT
I'M DEFINITELY GONNA KEEP USING
THIS MEAT LOCKER.
>> Mordecai: THANKS AGAIN FOR
COMING BACK AND HELPING US,
GUYS.
>> Benson: WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M
PROUD OF YOU TWO.
YOU HAD THE GUTS TO STAND UP TO
THESE PEOPLE AND TAKE BACK
WHAT'S OURS.
>> Skips: YEAH, SERIOUSLY.
NOW I CAN FINALLY CATCH UP ON MY
DREAM CATCHING.
>> Rigby: SO, DO YOU THINK THAT
GUY WILL BE ABLE TO SURVIVE UP
IN SPACE?
>> Mordecai: PROBABLY.
HE'S RICH.