1 00:00:03,110 --> 00:00:04,276 - [sniffs] 2 00:00:04,276 --> 00:00:06,176 IS THAT SMOKE? 3 00:00:06,176 --> 00:00:07,743 AND R. KELLY? 4 00:00:07,743 --> 00:00:09,210 * * 5 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,210 - CLOSE THE DOOR! 6 00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:13,143 - OH, SORRY, HONEY. 7 00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,276 IS THAT MY BLACK LACE BRA? 8 00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:16,676 - IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS. 9 00:00:16,676 --> 00:00:18,276 I'M NOT TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH PANDA. 10 00:00:18,276 --> 00:00:19,576 THAT WOULD BE PATHETIC. 11 00:00:19,576 --> 00:00:21,543 I'M JUST TRYING TO TAKE OFF PANDA'S BRA. 12 00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,310 - OH? DO YOU WANT SOME POINTERS? 13 00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:25,776 - NO, I GOT THIS. I'VE BEEN PRACTICING FOR HOURS. 14 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,443 WATCH ME WORK. 15 00:00:27,443 --> 00:00:30,910 LOVELY EVENING, WOULDN'T YOU SAY, PANDA BEAR? 16 00:00:30,910 --> 00:00:33,476 [groans] 17 00:00:33,476 --> 00:00:34,476 OW. 18 00:00:34,476 --> 00:00:36,743 - HERE, MUNCHKIN, LET ME SHOW YOU. 19 00:00:36,743 --> 00:00:39,076 IT'S CALLED THE SECAUCUS SNAP. 20 00:00:39,076 --> 00:00:42,276 I SPENT SIX YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL DEFENDING AGAINST IT. 21 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:46,710 JUST PUT YOUR FINGERS HERE AND HERE AND... 22 00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:49,076 - WHOA, I ACTUALLY DID IT! YOU'RE AMAZING! 23 00:00:49,076 --> 00:00:50,576 - AND IF YOU WERE BORN A LITTLE GIRL, 24 00:00:50,576 --> 00:00:52,843 I'D HAVE SOME REAL TRICKS TO SHOW YOU. 25 00:00:54,843 --> 00:00:56,943 THAT'S STEP ONE OF THE HOBOKEN HAND-- 26 00:00:56,943 --> 00:00:58,243 - I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT. 27 00:00:58,243 --> 00:01:00,843 MOM, THERE ARE SOME THINGS I DON'T WANNA HEAR. 28 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,843 [upbeat music] 29 00:01:03,843 --> 00:01:11,776 * * 30 00:01:25,743 --> 00:01:28,243 - HOW ARE YOU PICKING BETWEEN ALL THESE SCHOOLS? 31 00:01:28,243 --> 00:01:29,676 - EASY, I JUST RANK THEM 32 00:01:29,676 --> 00:01:32,476 BY HOW SCHOLARLY AND CONFIDENT THEIR FEMALE STUDENTS ARE, 33 00:01:32,476 --> 00:01:34,310 THEN PICK THE BOTTOM THREE. 34 00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:36,343 - YEAH, MAN, I WENT TO BERKELEY. 35 00:01:36,343 --> 00:01:37,676 I WENT AWAY FOR FOUR YEARS 36 00:01:37,676 --> 00:01:40,910 AND CAME BACK BROKE AND EMASCULATED AND POOR. 37 00:01:40,910 --> 00:01:42,710 OR WAS THAT PRISON? 38 00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:45,776 EITHER WAY, THE GIRLS WERE UGLY. 39 00:01:45,776 --> 00:01:49,776 OHH, MY BAD. 40 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,443 - SO WERE ARE YOU GONNA GO TO COLLEGE? 41 00:01:51,443 --> 00:01:53,110 - THE COLLEGE OF THE PACIFIC, DUDE. 42 00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:54,476 - OH, THAT ONE? 43 00:01:54,476 --> 00:01:57,643 - I MEAN WAVE UNIVERSITY. 44 00:01:57,643 --> 00:01:59,110 - OVER THERE? - NO! 45 00:01:59,110 --> 00:02:00,910 THE UNIVERSITY OF SURFING, HANGING OUT, 46 00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:02,743 AND NOT DOING ANY WORK. 47 00:02:02,743 --> 00:02:04,810 - UH, MY EARS ARE BURNING. 48 00:02:04,810 --> 00:02:07,110 - WHY GO TO COLLEGE WHEN EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT 49 00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:08,443 IS RIGHT HERE? 50 00:02:08,443 --> 00:02:09,776 - OH, HEY, THERE'S JEENA! 51 00:02:09,776 --> 00:02:11,876 I SCORED TICKETS TO THE OCEANUS MUSIC FESTIVAL, 52 00:02:11,876 --> 00:02:13,443 AND I JUST HEARD TURK AND JEENA HAD A BIG FIGHT, 53 00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:16,176 AND JEENA'S FAVORITE BAND'S GONNA BE THERE. 54 00:02:16,176 --> 00:02:17,643 YOU KNOW, WOODIE, WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT 55 00:02:17,643 --> 00:02:19,110 HAS TAKEN PATIENCE AND DEDICATION, 56 00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:20,376 BUT I PERSEVERED. 57 00:02:20,376 --> 00:02:21,910 WHEN IT COMES TO TRUE LOVE, 58 00:02:21,910 --> 00:02:25,310 SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE. 59 00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:27,543 - FORGIVE ME, BABE. LOOK WHAT I GOT. 60 00:02:27,543 --> 00:02:30,410 - OH, MY GOD, BACKSTAGE PASSES? 61 00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:33,510 I'M GONNA MEET OK GO? 62 00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:35,476 - BALLS. 63 00:02:35,476 --> 00:02:38,376 - HEY LOOK, BABE, I GOT THE LAST TWO. 64 00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:40,476 - DON'T WORRY, MAN. YOU'RE A CATCH. 65 00:02:40,476 --> 00:02:42,743 YOU'VE GOT GOOD HAIR, A SWEET FACE, 66 00:02:42,743 --> 00:02:44,343 A GREAT PERSONALITY. 67 00:02:44,343 --> 00:02:46,876 - THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT FAT GIRLS! 68 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:49,176 I'M GONNA BE ALONE FOREVER. 69 00:02:49,176 --> 00:02:51,310 [cell phone beeps] 70 00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:52,610 WHAT THE... 71 00:02:52,610 --> 00:02:53,810 CHECK THIS OUT! 72 00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:55,376 - I LIKE! I LIKE! 73 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,843 YOU JUST GOT YOUR FIRST SEXT. 74 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,343 YOU'VE GOT A SECRET ADMIRER. 75 00:02:58,343 --> 00:03:00,276 - I WONDER WHO SHE IS. 76 00:03:00,276 --> 00:03:01,843 - WHOA-HO, MONDO! 77 00:03:01,843 --> 00:03:03,576 YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING OUT ON US. 78 00:03:03,576 --> 00:03:05,576 YOU'RE A FAT LITTLE PIMP. 79 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:08,143 A "FLIMP" IF YOU WILL. [chuckles] 80 00:03:08,143 --> 00:03:10,876 MAYBE I'VE BEEN UNDERESTIMATING YOU THE WHOLE TIME. 81 00:03:10,876 --> 00:03:12,543 - MAYBE YOU HAVE. 82 00:03:12,543 --> 00:03:13,876 - SO CALL HER BACK, FLIMP. 83 00:03:13,876 --> 00:03:15,110 PUSH THE GREEN BUTTON, 84 00:03:15,110 --> 00:03:17,176 AND WE'LL PUT A NAME TO THESE BOOBS. 85 00:03:17,176 --> 00:03:18,510 [excited murmurs] 86 00:03:18,510 --> 00:03:20,443 [beep, line rings] 87 00:03:20,443 --> 00:03:22,110 - BACK UP, FOOLS! 88 00:03:22,110 --> 00:03:25,343 IT'S TIME FOR THE RETURN OF THE MACK. 89 00:03:25,343 --> 00:03:27,576 - HI, YOU'VE REACHED BABS BRANDO. 90 00:03:27,576 --> 00:03:30,110 IF THIS IS THE DOCTOR CALLING ABOUT MONDO'S RASH, 91 00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:32,943 IT'S SPREAD FROM HIS ARMS TO HIS THIGHS. 92 00:03:32,943 --> 00:03:34,210 [laughter] 93 00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:36,243 - BALLS. 94 00:03:36,243 --> 00:03:38,110 - SORRY I'M LATE. 95 00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:39,743 I CAME STRAIGHT FROM WORK. 96 00:03:39,743 --> 00:03:41,510 - OH, IS THIS MR. BRANDO? 97 00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:43,310 - NO, NO, NO, IT'S SMILIN' MIKE. 98 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,843 HE'S A REGULAR AT THE BAR. 99 00:03:44,843 --> 00:03:47,843 HE'S IN NO SHAPE TO DRIVE TO HIS KID'S SOCCER PRACTICE. 100 00:03:47,843 --> 00:03:49,776 - I'M THE COACH. 101 00:03:49,776 --> 00:03:52,976 - SO WHAT DID MONDO DO THIS TIME? 102 00:03:52,976 --> 00:03:54,276 - RECOGNIZE THIS? 103 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:55,443 - AH! [laughs] 104 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,710 THAT'S JUST ME IN MY NEW BATHING SUIT. 105 00:03:57,710 --> 00:03:59,910 I SENT IT TO MY GIRLFRIENDS WHO ARE BACK IN NEW JERSEY 106 00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:01,643 FREEZING THEIR ASSES OFF. 107 00:04:01,643 --> 00:04:03,243 I MUST HAVE SENT IT TO MONDO BY MISTAKE. 108 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,110 I MEAN, NO BIG WHOOP, RIGHT? 109 00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,010 - ACTUALLY, IT WAS A HUGE, HUGE WHOOP. 110 00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:09,343 AND UNFORTUNATELY, THIS ISN'T MONDO'S FIRST GO-ROUND 111 00:04:09,343 --> 00:04:11,110 IN THE TROUBLEMAKER'S RODEO. 112 00:04:11,110 --> 00:04:14,010 AND I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER IF HIS HOME ENVIRONMENT 113 00:04:14,010 --> 00:04:15,743 MIGHT BE THE REASON WHY. 114 00:04:15,743 --> 00:04:16,776 - EXCUSE ME. 115 00:04:16,776 --> 00:04:18,110 - FOR ONE THING, 116 00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:20,543 HE'S BEEN FALLING ASLEEP IN HIS MORNING CLASSES. 117 00:04:20,543 --> 00:04:23,576 [cheering] 118 00:04:23,576 --> 00:04:27,243 HE MISSED THE PSATs TO GO TO A MONSTER TRUCK RALLY. 119 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,810 [cheering] 120 00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:30,976 - CRUSH IT! 121 00:04:30,976 --> 00:04:32,443 GRAVE DIGGER WAS THERE, 122 00:04:32,443 --> 00:04:34,276 AND HE WAS SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS. 123 00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:36,110 - AND HE SEEMS TO BE OVERLY FAMILIAR 124 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:38,776 WITH SOME RATHER MATURE MATERIAL. 125 00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:43,176 - I THOUGHT IT WAS A ROB SCHNEIDER MOVIE. 126 00:04:43,176 --> 00:04:45,143 - MAKING COPIES. 127 00:04:45,143 --> 00:04:47,543 - DID YOU KNOW THAT MONDO HAS CHOSEN HIS COLLEGE APPLICATIONS 128 00:04:47,543 --> 00:04:51,343 BY THE SLUT-TO-TEACHER RATIO? 129 00:04:51,343 --> 00:04:54,610 AND WHILE I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THE SCHOOLS IN ARIZONA, 130 00:04:54,610 --> 00:04:57,243 WE THINK HE CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER. 131 00:04:57,243 --> 00:04:59,476 BUT NOT IF THIS BEHAVIOR CONTINUES. 132 00:04:59,476 --> 00:05:02,510 - MAYBE THIS IS MY FAULT. 133 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,976 EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A LOT TO THINK ABOUT. 134 00:05:04,976 --> 00:05:09,976 - WELL, THIS TURNED INTO A REAL SAUSAGE PARTY. 135 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,676 - WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING? 136 00:05:11,676 --> 00:05:12,976 - CHILL, DUDE. 137 00:05:12,976 --> 00:05:15,110 YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR MOM'S BOOBS. 138 00:05:15,110 --> 00:05:16,943 LET ME CARRY THAT BURDEN FOR YOU. 139 00:05:16,943 --> 00:05:19,610 LET'S JUST FOCUS ON THE CONCERT, 140 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,876 HORNY CHICKS, LOUD MUSIC, 141 00:05:21,876 --> 00:05:23,410 AND WE'RE GONNA GET SO WASTED 142 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,243 WE'LL HAVE TO BUY OVERPRICED T-SHIRTS 143 00:05:25,243 --> 00:05:27,310 TO REMEMBER WE WERE EVEN THERE. 144 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,643 - OCEAN ANUS. 145 00:05:28,643 --> 00:05:31,743 TYPO OR GENIUS. EITHER WAY, $45! 146 00:05:31,743 --> 00:05:32,976 - TRUST ME, MONDO. 147 00:05:32,976 --> 00:05:35,310 WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE BEST NIGHT EVER. 148 00:05:35,310 --> 00:05:37,343 - WELL, THE BEST NIGHT A COUPLE OF SUCKERS CAN HAVE. 149 00:05:37,343 --> 00:05:39,643 I, FOR ONE, WILL NEVER PAY TICKET TYRANT'S 150 00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:42,676 $3.75 INCONVENIENCE FEE. 151 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,676 IF I'M GOING, I'M GOING ON MY OWN TERMS 152 00:05:44,676 --> 00:05:46,176 LIKE A TRUE AMERICAN, 153 00:05:46,176 --> 00:05:48,276 BY SCALING A FENCE! 154 00:05:48,276 --> 00:05:50,410 - HEY, BLONDIE. 155 00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:52,376 - I THINK SHE'S TALKING TO ME. 156 00:05:52,376 --> 00:05:55,176 THIS CONCERT IS GONNA BE AWESOME. 157 00:05:57,243 --> 00:05:59,410 - HEY, LONNIE. SETTING UP FOR THE FESTIVAL? 158 00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:01,710 - BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE, MAN. 159 00:06:01,710 --> 00:06:02,976 WHY ELSE YOU THINK I PARK HERE 160 00:06:02,976 --> 00:06:05,676 THE OTHER 364 DAYS OF THE YEAR, 161 00:06:05,676 --> 00:06:07,110 THE VIEW? 162 00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:10,843 - [imitates drumming] 163 00:06:10,843 --> 00:06:12,743 [classical piano music] 164 00:06:12,743 --> 00:06:15,110 WHERE AM I? 165 00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:16,510 * * 166 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,110 OUR CARPET IS BEIGE? 167 00:06:18,110 --> 00:06:20,276 ALSO, WE HAVE CARPET? 168 00:06:20,276 --> 00:06:23,676 * * 169 00:06:23,676 --> 00:06:26,143 [beep, buzzing sound] 170 00:06:26,143 --> 00:06:31,776 * * 171 00:06:31,776 --> 00:06:33,843 NO! 172 00:06:33,843 --> 00:06:35,110 NO! 173 00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:36,976 WHY WOULD I WANT TO SEE A BIG BLACK CARP 174 00:06:36,976 --> 00:06:38,543 GET A BLOWFISH? 175 00:06:38,543 --> 00:06:39,910 - CYBER PRUDE! 176 00:06:39,910 --> 00:06:42,110 PROTECTING YOU FROM THE BEST PARTS OF THE INTERNET 177 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,376 FOR OVER 20 YEARS. 178 00:06:45,476 --> 00:06:46,843 [electrical zap] AHHH! 179 00:06:46,843 --> 00:06:48,343 [mechanical whirring] 180 00:06:48,343 --> 00:06:50,776 WHAT'S THAT NOISE? 181 00:06:50,776 --> 00:06:52,676 MOM? 182 00:06:52,676 --> 00:06:56,110 - HEY, MUNCH-- I MEAN, MONTGOMERY. 183 00:06:56,110 --> 00:06:58,810 - WHAT THE [bleep]? 184 00:06:58,810 --> 00:07:00,276 - AH-AH, MISTER. 185 00:07:00,276 --> 00:07:01,443 SWEAR JAR. 186 00:07:08,176 --> 00:07:09,843 - YOU TAKE AWAY MY VIDEO GAMES, 187 00:07:09,843 --> 00:07:12,110 MY INTERNET, MY UNDERWEAR PILE. 188 00:07:12,110 --> 00:07:14,510 THIS IS BULL-- 189 00:07:14,510 --> 00:07:16,510 THIS IS TERRIBLE! 190 00:07:16,510 --> 00:07:19,576 - LOOK, HONEY, THINGS ARE GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE AROUND HERE. 191 00:07:19,576 --> 00:07:21,110 NOW START IN ON YOUR HOMEWORK, 192 00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:24,143 AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE YOU CAN TACKLE SOME OF YOUR NEW CHORES. 193 00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:25,443 - SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 194 00:07:25,443 --> 00:07:26,976 FIRST YOU HUMILIATE ME, 195 00:07:26,976 --> 00:07:29,876 AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA PUNISH ME FOR HUMILIATING ME? 196 00:07:29,876 --> 00:07:32,276 THAT'S LIKE RONNIE BREAKING UP WITH SAMMI SWEETHEART 197 00:07:32,276 --> 00:07:33,710 AFTER HE CHEATED ON HER. 198 00:07:33,710 --> 00:07:35,243 - THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT THERE, 199 00:07:35,243 --> 00:07:38,143 NOT ENOUGH BOOKS, TOO MUCH JERSEY SHORE. 200 00:07:38,143 --> 00:07:41,176 - UNH! I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE AND READ MY COMIC BOOK. 201 00:07:41,176 --> 00:07:43,810 SUPERMANNERS? 202 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,343 OH, COME ON, MOM! YOU CHANGED MY COMICS TOO? 203 00:07:46,343 --> 00:07:48,776 - MONDO, I SUGGEST YOU GET BUSY, OR-- 204 00:07:48,776 --> 00:07:50,110 - OR WHAT? 205 00:07:50,110 --> 00:07:52,110 THERE'S NOTHING LEFT YOU CAN TAKE AWAY FROM ME. 206 00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:54,510 - HA. OR NO CONCERT. 207 00:07:54,510 --> 00:07:56,176 - WELL PLAYED, BARBARA. 208 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:59,176 BUT FIRST, I HAVE A FEW CHOICE WORDS FOR YOU 209 00:07:59,176 --> 00:08:03,410 AND "POOP" AND "DARN" ARE NOT GONNA COVER IT. 210 00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:05,576 - OH, NOTHING, JUST TUTORING THIS STUPID KID IN FRENCH. 211 00:08:05,576 --> 00:08:07,276 KEEP GOING, SWEETHEART. 212 00:08:07,276 --> 00:08:11,843 - [badly] VOULEZ VOUS COUCHEZ AVEC MOI, CE SOIR. 213 00:08:11,843 --> 00:08:14,143 - IT'S LIKE I CLOSE MY EYES AND I'M IN PARIS. 214 00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:17,243 I SWEAR, DESIREE, THIS BOY'S GOT, LIKE, A SOLID "B" CUP. 215 00:08:17,243 --> 00:08:19,743 - HEY, MAN, HOW'S IT GOING? 216 00:08:19,743 --> 00:08:21,276 - HOW'S IT GOING? 217 00:08:21,276 --> 00:08:23,243 LET ME SHOW YOU. 218 00:08:23,243 --> 00:08:25,343 [strumming harp] 219 00:08:25,343 --> 00:08:27,176 I CAN DO THAT NOW, WHICH IS GREAT 220 00:08:27,176 --> 00:08:29,110 BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT CHICKS LINE UP 221 00:08:29,110 --> 00:08:32,243 AROUND THE BLOCK TO BANG THE HARP PLAYER. 222 00:08:32,243 --> 00:08:34,443 THE ONLY THING THAT'S GOTTEN ME THROUGH THE LIVING HELL 223 00:08:34,443 --> 00:08:36,810 OF THE LAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN THIS CONCERT. 224 00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:38,976 LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE O-MAMA BIN LADEN 225 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:40,776 MAKES ME BALANCE HER CHECKBOOK. 226 00:08:40,776 --> 00:08:43,910 MOM, I DID ALL THE DUMP CRAP. I'M GOING TO THE CONCERT. 227 00:08:43,910 --> 00:08:45,543 - I'M ALMOST READY! 228 00:08:45,543 --> 00:08:46,676 - WHAT? 229 00:08:46,676 --> 00:08:48,443 - CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT YOUR CHAPERONE. 230 00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:49,876 - [groans] 231 00:08:49,876 --> 00:08:52,343 - * LET THE SUN BURN MY EYES * 232 00:08:52,343 --> 00:08:55,010 * LET IT BURN MY BACK * 233 00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:56,376 [girls giggle] 234 00:08:56,376 --> 00:08:57,843 - UGH. 235 00:08:57,843 --> 00:08:59,310 - SORRY, HONEY, BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO STAY 236 00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:00,710 BY MY SIDE TONIGHT. 237 00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:02,910 - I KNOW, I KNOW. 238 00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,110 [bell dings] 239 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,243 - AH. 240 00:09:05,243 --> 00:09:06,576 * * 241 00:09:06,576 --> 00:09:08,276 - YOU GOT THOSE BACKSTAGE PASSES? 242 00:09:08,276 --> 00:09:09,343 - RIGHT HERE, BABE. 243 00:09:09,343 --> 00:09:10,876 YOU WON'T REGRET TAKING ME BACK. 244 00:09:10,876 --> 00:09:12,110 I'M A NEW MAN. 245 00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:14,243 NO MORE DRINKING, NO MORE NAME CALLING, 246 00:09:14,243 --> 00:09:15,910 NO MORE TEMPER. 247 00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:18,676 HANDS OFF THE FLASK, SCROTE-SMOKER! 248 00:09:20,576 --> 00:09:22,576 - I KNEW THIS WAS A MISTAKE. 249 00:09:22,576 --> 00:09:24,643 - WAIT, BABE, I CAN CHANGE. 250 00:09:24,643 --> 00:09:25,810 AGAIN! 251 00:09:25,810 --> 00:09:27,310 * * 252 00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:29,610 [cheers and applause] 253 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:33,743 - OKAY, BOYS, NOW LET'S HAVE SOME GOOD, WHOLESOME FUN. 254 00:09:33,743 --> 00:09:36,743 [upbeat music] 255 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:44,676 * * 256 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:55,143 [baby cries] 257 00:09:55,143 --> 00:09:57,676 [baby coos] 258 00:09:57,676 --> 00:09:59,143 - AH-HA! 259 00:09:59,143 --> 00:10:00,843 THIS'LL TEACH TICKET TYRANT 260 00:10:00,843 --> 00:10:04,410 TO CHARGE ME AN EXTRA 3.75. 261 00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:06,643 OH, I DID HAVE TO SHELL OUT SIX HUNDRY FOR THIS RIG, 262 00:10:06,643 --> 00:10:08,776 BUT AMORTIZED OVER A LIFETIME OF AIRBORNE SCHEMES, 263 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:11,743 WE'RE DOWN TO, LIKE, FOUR BUCKS A SCHEME. 264 00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:15,876 AHH! AH-AH-AH-AH! 265 00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:18,476 IT'S RAINING MEN! 266 00:10:18,476 --> 00:10:19,643 [groans] 267 00:10:19,643 --> 00:10:23,676 IS THAT THE BEST YOU GOT, TICKET TYRANT? 268 00:10:23,676 --> 00:10:26,743 OKAY, THAT ONE WAS PRETTY GOOD. 269 00:10:26,743 --> 00:10:28,243 - [groans] 270 00:10:28,243 --> 00:10:29,843 - OH, HELLO. 271 00:10:29,843 --> 00:10:31,310 - IS THAT YOU, GOD? 272 00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:33,143 IT'S ME, TURK. 273 00:10:33,143 --> 00:10:35,243 - NO, IT'S ME, WADSKA, BUT I GET THAT A LOT. 274 00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:36,543 WHERE'S MY SISTER? 275 00:10:36,543 --> 00:10:38,110 - JEENA'S INSIDE. 276 00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:39,576 AND THIS WASN'T WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE. 277 00:10:39,576 --> 00:10:41,976 I WAS JUST SWEATING FROM MY EYES. 278 00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:43,410 OH, WHO AM I KIDDING? 279 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:46,110 I'VE LOST HER, MAN, 'CAUSE OF MY STUPID TEMPER. 280 00:10:46,110 --> 00:10:49,876 SHE MEANS MORE TO ME THAN ANY GIRLFRIEND I'VE EVER HAD. 281 00:10:49,876 --> 00:10:51,710 - OH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU FELT THIS WAY. 282 00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:53,576 WELL, HELP ME DOWN FROM HERE, TURK-IN-LAW. 283 00:10:53,576 --> 00:10:55,810 WE'LL SEE IF WE CAN GET HER BACK. 284 00:10:55,810 --> 00:10:57,743 AGH! LITTLE HIGHER. 285 00:10:59,943 --> 00:11:00,976 AGH! 286 00:11:00,976 --> 00:11:03,210 - OH, MY GOD, BABS BRANDO. 287 00:11:03,210 --> 00:11:07,210 - OH, HUH, CANDY, TONI. YEAH, HI. 288 00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:09,510 - I KNEW MY BIFFKEN WAS TINGLING. 289 00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:11,976 - I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE YOU WERE GETTING NINE-INCH NAILED 290 00:11:11,976 --> 00:11:14,443 IN THE BATHROOM AT GIANTS STADIUM. 291 00:11:14,443 --> 00:11:16,910 - I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 292 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,910 AND BY THE WAY, IT WAS MORE LIKE FIVE-INCH NAILED. 293 00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:22,110 - SHE'S DISTRACTED BY THESE CRAZY BITCHES. 294 00:11:22,110 --> 00:11:24,976 NOW'S OUR CHANCE TO ESCAPE. 295 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:27,243 - DID YOU MEET MY SON, MONTGOMERY? 296 00:11:27,243 --> 00:11:31,243 - LADY, I'LL BE WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TO BE. 297 00:11:31,243 --> 00:11:32,576 - OH, WE DID IT. 298 00:11:32,576 --> 00:11:33,776 WE LOST HER. 299 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,743 - YES, FINALLY THE GREATEST NIGHT 300 00:11:35,743 --> 00:11:38,710 OF OUR LIVES BEGINS, JUST THE TWO OF US. 301 00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:39,843 - HEY, MONDO. 302 00:11:39,843 --> 00:11:42,510 - HEY, BLONDIE, WANT AN EXTRA BEER? 303 00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:44,276 - OR WE CAN SPLIT UP FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 304 00:11:44,276 --> 00:11:46,610 - YEAH, WE COULD TOTALLY MEET UP LATER. 305 00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:55,143 - MONDO! 306 00:11:55,143 --> 00:11:56,710 MONDO? 307 00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:57,810 [screams] 308 00:11:57,810 --> 00:11:59,843 - SORRY TO HEAR THAT TURK GOT KICKED OUT. 309 00:11:59,843 --> 00:12:01,143 - ARE YOU REALLY? 310 00:12:01,143 --> 00:12:03,010 - NOPE. [both laughing] 311 00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:06,110 - SUCKS FOR US BEING A COUPLE OF SHORTIES, HUH? 312 00:12:06,110 --> 00:12:07,776 I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING. 313 00:12:07,776 --> 00:12:10,476 - YOU--YOU WANNA GET UP ON MY SHOULDERS? 314 00:12:10,476 --> 00:12:11,976 - WHOA. [chuckles] 315 00:12:11,976 --> 00:12:13,376 - [wheezes] 316 00:12:13,376 --> 00:12:14,843 - YOU GOT ME THERE, FELLA? 317 00:12:14,843 --> 00:12:18,110 - WHO, ME? YEAH, I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY. 318 00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:21,110 OR FOR AT LEAST UNTIL THE END OF THE NEXT SONG. 319 00:12:21,110 --> 00:12:24,176 - YOU GUYS READY FOR A 17-MINUTE JAM? 320 00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:25,276 [cheering] 321 00:12:25,276 --> 00:12:27,710 - BALLS. 322 00:12:27,710 --> 00:12:29,343 - [coughs] 323 00:12:29,343 --> 00:12:31,843 - SO WHERE DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL, BEER-WASTER? 324 00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:36,176 - PEN. 325 00:12:36,176 --> 00:12:37,876 - IVY LEAGUE, THAT'S HOT. 326 00:12:37,876 --> 00:12:40,876 [rock music] 327 00:12:40,876 --> 00:12:42,010 * * 328 00:12:42,010 --> 00:12:43,676 - THOSE PEOPLE ARE INSANE. 329 00:12:43,676 --> 00:12:46,143 - I KNOW. LET'S GET IN THERE. 330 00:12:46,143 --> 00:12:48,143 - AGH! 331 00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:51,110 I SAID THROW ME OVER THE FENCE. 332 00:12:51,110 --> 00:12:53,110 - THROUGH IT'S FUNNIER. 333 00:12:53,110 --> 00:12:57,010 - YOU ARE A HARD MAN TO LOVE, DIRK KIRK TURKPATRICK. 334 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,243 IT'S NO USE. 335 00:12:58,243 --> 00:13:00,843 WE HAVE COVERED THE WHOLE PERIMETER. 336 00:13:00,843 --> 00:13:02,543 IT'S IMPENETRABLE. 337 00:13:02,543 --> 00:13:05,443 IF ONLY THEY'D STOP SLAMMING THAT CURSED DOOR, 338 00:13:05,443 --> 00:13:08,610 I COULD THINK! 339 00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:11,110 - DAMN, IT ONLY OPENS FROM THE INSIDE. 340 00:13:11,110 --> 00:13:13,610 YOU GOTTA BUY A TICKET AND THEN LET ME IN. 341 00:13:13,610 --> 00:13:14,943 - WHAT? 342 00:13:14,943 --> 00:13:18,210 THAT WOULD MEAN GOING AGAINST EVERYTHING I STAND FOR. 343 00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:20,210 - PLEASE, I CAN'T LOSE HER, WADSKA. 344 00:13:20,210 --> 00:13:22,543 THINK ABOUT HER IN THERE ALL ALONE, 345 00:13:22,543 --> 00:13:25,110 BEING PASSED AROUND BY STRANGE MEN. 346 00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:28,110 I ALWAYS WANTED A BROTHER. 347 00:13:28,110 --> 00:13:30,976 A LITTLE HALF-MUSTACHED PSYCHO BROTHER. 348 00:13:33,276 --> 00:13:35,810 - LET IT BE SAID THAT ON THIS DAY 349 00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:38,776 WADSKA STOOD ON THE SIDE OF LOVE. 350 00:13:40,176 --> 00:13:41,676 - WHOO! 351 00:13:41,676 --> 00:13:43,876 YEAH, THAT WAS AWESOME! 352 00:13:43,876 --> 00:13:46,543 - ESPECIALLY THE PART WHEN YOU FLASHED YOUR PUPPIES, 353 00:13:46,543 --> 00:13:47,776 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. 354 00:13:47,776 --> 00:13:50,810 I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT. 355 00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:52,443 HEY, YOU WANT A BEER? 356 00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:01,610 - WHOA, THAT'S A CRAZY TASTE. 357 00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:04,110 - NOTHING'S TOO GOOD FOR M'LADY. 358 00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:06,343 YOU LIKE THAT? IT'S LIKE I DID IT BRITISH, 359 00:14:06,343 --> 00:14:09,143 BUT I WASN'T BEING POSSESSIVE WHEN I SAID "MY LADY." 360 00:14:09,143 --> 00:14:10,576 I DON'T OWN YOU. 361 00:14:10,576 --> 00:14:12,110 [both laugh] 362 00:14:12,110 --> 00:14:13,910 - I GOTTA FIND MONDO. 363 00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:17,343 - IF HE'S ANYTHING LIKE BACKSTAGE BABS WAS AT 15, 364 00:14:17,343 --> 00:14:19,410 YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CALL THE COPS. 365 00:14:19,410 --> 00:14:21,010 - I HATE TO DISAPPOINT YOU GIRLS, 366 00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:23,743 BUT I'M A RESPECTABLE WOMAN NOW. 367 00:14:23,743 --> 00:14:25,610 [both laugh] 368 00:14:25,610 --> 00:14:28,676 SERIOUSLY, I'VE CHANGED MY WAYS. 369 00:14:28,676 --> 00:14:30,476 - LOOK! 370 00:14:30,476 --> 00:14:32,110 all: OHH! 371 00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:36,110 - IN MY DEFENSE, I STOLE THOSE DRUGS. 372 00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,610 LOOK, I'M JUST TRYING TO TONE IT DOWN 373 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,443 AND SET AN EXAMPLE FOR MY SON. 374 00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:42,310 YOU KNOW, I'M WORRIED HE'S HEADING DOWN THE WRONG PATH. 375 00:14:42,310 --> 00:14:43,443 - I HEAR YOU. 376 00:14:43,443 --> 00:14:44,910 MY PETEY GOT HIS DRUG DEALER PREGNANT 377 00:14:44,910 --> 00:14:46,443 AT A GANG INITIATION. 378 00:14:46,443 --> 00:14:48,243 - SO WHAT'S YOUR BOY INTO? 379 00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:50,376 - UM, WELL, YOU KNOW, FOR ONE THING 380 00:14:50,376 --> 00:14:53,343 HIS TOP COLLEGE CHOICES ARE ALL PARTY SCHOOLS. 381 00:14:53,343 --> 00:14:55,276 - COLLEGE? - CHOICES? 382 00:14:55,276 --> 00:14:57,610 - SOUNDS LIKE A REAL HELL-RAISER. 383 00:15:00,443 --> 00:15:02,310 - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS. 384 00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:03,776 - OKAY, BLONDIE, 385 00:15:03,776 --> 00:15:05,243 THEN YOU CAN JUST STAY OVER HERE 386 00:15:05,243 --> 00:15:07,110 WHERE YOU'LL BE SAFE AND BORING. 387 00:15:07,110 --> 00:15:08,810 WHOO! 388 00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:09,976 OHH! 389 00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:12,110 - AHH! 390 00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:15,310 FROM THE OUTSIDE, THE PIT LOOKS TERRIFYING. 391 00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:16,676 BUT ONCE YOU GET IN HERE, 392 00:15:16,676 --> 00:15:18,810 IT'S JUST REALLY NOT--AHH! 393 00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:22,876 - BLONDIE, ARE YOU OKAY? 394 00:15:22,876 --> 00:15:25,243 - WELL, I HAVE A CONCUSSION 395 00:15:25,243 --> 00:15:27,443 AND, OH, THAT'S A CRACKED RIB. 396 00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:31,143 BUT THAT WAS AWESOME! 397 00:15:31,143 --> 00:15:33,743 - COME ON, I THINK WE SHOULD PROBABLY HEAD-- 398 00:15:33,743 --> 00:15:35,510 - BACKSTAGE! 399 00:15:35,510 --> 00:15:37,410 - WHAT? WE DON'T HAVE PASSES. 400 00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:39,110 - OKAY THEN, YOU CAN JUST STAY HERE 401 00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:40,743 WHERE IT'S SAFE AND BORING. 402 00:15:42,510 --> 00:15:44,110 FOLLOW MY LEAD. 403 00:15:47,010 --> 00:15:49,910 - YO, BLONDE DYNAMITE, SLOW YOUR ROLL. 404 00:15:49,910 --> 00:15:51,743 - [cockney accent] WHAT, GOT A PROBLEM, GOVERNOR? 405 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:54,543 I'M JUST TAKING THIS RUMPTY-DUMPTY BACKSTAGE 406 00:15:54,543 --> 00:15:56,910 FOR A BIT OF THE OLD FLIRTY DUCK. 407 00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:03,176 - DO YOU WANNA HEAR SOMETHING EMBARRASSING? 408 00:16:03,176 --> 00:16:04,376 - ABSOLUTELY. 409 00:16:04,376 --> 00:16:07,576 - MY FIRST CONCERT WAS THE WIGGLES. 410 00:16:07,576 --> 00:16:08,776 - THEY WERE MY FIRST CONCERT TOO. 411 00:16:08,776 --> 00:16:09,976 THAT'S CRAZY. 412 00:16:09,976 --> 00:16:11,643 - WE WERE ON A FAMILY VACATION TO NEW YORK, 413 00:16:11,643 --> 00:16:13,543 AND WE SAW THEM AT RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL. 414 00:16:13,543 --> 00:16:16,110 - THAT'S WHERE I SAW THEM, MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND. 415 00:16:16,110 --> 00:16:18,110 - NO WAY! 1998? 416 00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:19,110 - SATURDAY? 417 00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:20,976 - YES! OH, MY GOD, 7:00 P.M. SHOW? 418 00:16:20,976 --> 00:16:23,443 - NO, THE MATINEE. 419 00:16:23,443 --> 00:16:24,543 DAMN IT. 420 00:16:24,543 --> 00:16:27,110 [both laugh] 421 00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:30,510 - WELL, AT LEAST WE'RE AT THE SAME CONCERT TOGETHER TODAY. 422 00:16:32,376 --> 00:16:33,943 - KISS HER. 423 00:16:33,943 --> 00:16:35,610 - [chuckles] 424 00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:36,743 - MONDO! 425 00:16:36,743 --> 00:16:38,643 MONDO! 426 00:16:38,643 --> 00:16:41,643 HAS ANYBODY SEEN THE CUTEST LITTLE BOY AT THE CONCERT? 427 00:16:41,643 --> 00:16:42,643 - [whimpers] 428 00:16:42,643 --> 00:16:43,843 - YOU HAVE A PICTURE, MA'AM? 429 00:16:43,843 --> 00:16:45,610 - I DON'T REALLY HAVE A RECENT ONE. 430 00:16:45,610 --> 00:16:48,310 DOES THIS HELP? 431 00:16:48,310 --> 00:16:50,776 [laughter] 432 00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:52,510 - SWEET ASS. 433 00:16:56,876 --> 00:16:59,110 - I'M SORRY, I JUST HAD TO FIND YOU RIGHT AWAY. 434 00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:00,543 - WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT 435 00:17:00,543 --> 00:17:01,876 THAT JUST WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO HAVE 436 00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:04,443 THE GREATEST NON-FOOD-RELATED MOMENT OF MY LIFE 437 00:17:04,443 --> 00:17:06,743 YOU HAD TO EMBARRASS ME YET AGAIN? 438 00:17:06,743 --> 00:17:10,110 LOOK AROUND! I'M NOT THAT GUY. 439 00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:11,976 OR THAT GUY. 440 00:17:11,976 --> 00:17:13,910 OR--THAT GUY-- 441 00:17:13,910 --> 00:17:15,643 THAT GUY NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION. 442 00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:17,410 IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, 443 00:17:17,410 --> 00:17:19,243 I'M A PRETTY DAMN GOOD KID. 444 00:17:19,243 --> 00:17:21,776 AND YOU USED TO BE A PRETTY DAMN GOOD MOM. 445 00:17:21,776 --> 00:17:23,843 - MONDO, I KNOW. 446 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,976 - AND--WAIT, WHAT? 447 00:17:25,976 --> 00:17:28,543 - I LET OTHER PEOPLE MAKE ME THINK I WASN'T A GOOD PARENT, 448 00:17:28,543 --> 00:17:30,676 AND I TOOK IT OUT ON YOU. 449 00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:33,176 I'M SORRY, HONEY. WE'RE DOING FINE. 450 00:17:33,176 --> 00:17:35,143 I JUST HAD TO TELL YOU THAT. 451 00:17:35,143 --> 00:17:38,110 NOW, COME ON, I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU. 452 00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:39,610 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 453 00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:42,410 - THANKS, BRO-EN-STEIN. 454 00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:45,543 HANG ON, BABE. I'M COMING FOR YOU. 455 00:17:45,543 --> 00:17:48,010 OH, YEAH. I LOVE YOU, BABE. 456 00:17:48,010 --> 00:17:50,643 NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN. 457 00:17:50,643 --> 00:17:53,576 - THIS WHOLE THING WAS ABOUT A FLASK? 458 00:17:53,576 --> 00:17:57,776 I COMPROMISED MY INTEGRITY FOR A FLASK? 459 00:17:57,776 --> 00:17:59,643 A [bleep] FLASK? 460 00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,543 - I ASSUMED YOU KNEW. 461 00:18:01,543 --> 00:18:03,410 I MEAN, THERE WAS ONE MOMENT WHERE I WAS AFRAID 462 00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:05,010 YOU THOUGHT I MIGHT BE TALKING ABOUT JEENA, 463 00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:06,676 BUT THEN I WAS LIKE, HE'S A SMART KID. 464 00:18:06,676 --> 00:18:08,176 HE'S INTO COMPUTERS AND STUFF. 465 00:18:08,176 --> 00:18:09,643 BESIDES, WHAT DO YOU THINK I MEANT 466 00:18:09,643 --> 00:18:11,610 WHEN I SAID I WANTED TO TAKE HER TOP OFF 467 00:18:11,610 --> 00:18:14,310 AND LET HER HOT JUICES RUN DOWN MY CHIN? 468 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:15,876 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 469 00:18:15,876 --> 00:18:17,743 THAT'S YOUR SISTER, MAN. 470 00:18:17,743 --> 00:18:20,976 WE ARE NOT BROS. 471 00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:22,643 - FROM THIS DAY HENCE, 472 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:27,643 I SHALL NEVER AGAIN COMPROMISE MY MORALS FOR LOVE! 473 00:18:27,643 --> 00:18:28,776 OOH. 474 00:18:28,776 --> 00:18:30,243 HAVE I TOLD YOU WHAT A FAN I AM 475 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,710 OF YOUR CORPORATION? 476 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:33,843 - WHERE ARE WE GOING, MONDO? 477 00:18:33,843 --> 00:18:35,343 - YOU'LL SEE. 478 00:18:35,343 --> 00:18:38,610 - AH, WHAT'S UP, FLIMP? 479 00:18:42,776 --> 00:18:44,410 - WE'RE BACKSTAGE! 480 00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:46,110 MONDO, THIS IS AMAZING. 481 00:18:46,110 --> 00:18:47,510 HOW DID YOU PULL THIS OFF? 482 00:18:47,510 --> 00:18:50,243 - I DIDN'T. MY AWESOME MOM DID. 483 00:18:50,243 --> 00:18:53,110 - HEY, KIDS, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO SOME OF MY OLD FRIENDS, 484 00:18:53,110 --> 00:18:55,943 DAMIAN KULASH AND OK GO. 485 00:18:55,943 --> 00:18:58,643 - SON, SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. 486 00:18:58,643 --> 00:19:01,543 I CAN SEE THE RESEMBLANCE. 487 00:19:01,543 --> 00:19:03,276 NAH, I'M JUST MESSING. 488 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,443 OR AM I? 489 00:19:05,443 --> 00:19:07,143 YES, I AM. - DAMIAN. 490 00:19:07,143 --> 00:19:09,943 - COME ON, HE'S A KULASH, HE CAN TAKE IT. 491 00:19:09,943 --> 00:19:11,310 JUST KIDDING, MAN. JUST KIDDING. 492 00:19:11,310 --> 00:19:12,643 I'M GUESSING YOU'RE A FAN? 493 00:19:12,643 --> 00:19:14,543 - [speaking gibberish] HABBIDYHABBA. 494 00:19:14,543 --> 00:19:15,843 - VERY SMOOTH. 495 00:19:15,843 --> 00:19:17,643 - THESE HOT DOGS LOOK [bleep] AWESOME. 496 00:19:17,643 --> 00:19:19,743 - YEAH, JUST NEED SOME CONDIMENTS. 497 00:19:24,876 --> 00:19:26,943 - SERIOUSLY, THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY. 498 00:19:26,943 --> 00:19:29,543 - [chuckles] I JUST-- I WISH WOODIE WERE HERE 499 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:30,876 TO SEE ALL THIS. 500 00:19:30,876 --> 00:19:34,110 - [cockney accent] HEY, BE WITH YOU IN A JIFF, MATE. 501 00:19:34,110 --> 00:19:35,710 - YOUR ACCENT'S GETTING BETTER. 502 00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:38,110 - THAT'S 'CAUSE I'M AN ENGLISH MAJOR. 503 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:40,776 - YEAH, ABOUT THAT, BLONDIE, 504 00:19:40,776 --> 00:19:42,276 I KNOW YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL. 505 00:19:42,276 --> 00:19:44,010 - WHAT GAVE IT AWAY? 506 00:19:44,010 --> 00:19:45,876 - WELL, YOUR FRIEND LOOKS LIKE HE'S 11, 507 00:19:45,876 --> 00:19:47,343 YOU BOTH CAME HERE WITH HIS MOM, 508 00:19:47,343 --> 00:19:48,476 AND YOU WOULDN'T SHUT UP 509 00:19:48,476 --> 00:19:49,976 ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU HATE YOUR PRINCIPAL. 510 00:19:49,976 --> 00:19:51,810 BUT WE STILL HAVE TONIGHT. 511 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,343 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 512 00:19:53,343 --> 00:19:55,243 OK GO! 513 00:19:55,243 --> 00:19:57,110 - THAT'S OUR BAND. - LET'S DO THIS, MAN, YEAH. 514 00:19:57,110 --> 00:19:58,210 - HAVE A GOOD SHOW, ALL RIGHT. 515 00:19:58,210 --> 00:20:00,110 - CAN I GET ONE MORE WHISKEY? 516 00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:03,810 - * MAYBE IT'S NOT SO BAD * 517 00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:06,110 * JUST LET YOUR HAIR GO DOWN NOW * 518 00:20:06,110 --> 00:20:07,676 - DUDE, I CHANGED MY MIND. 519 00:20:07,676 --> 00:20:10,010 I AM SO GOING TO COLLEGE. 520 00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:11,310 - WHERE? 521 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:14,176 - "ART MOUTH." 522 00:20:14,176 --> 00:20:16,143 - I'D LIKE TO PERSONALLY DEDICATE THIS ONE 523 00:20:16,143 --> 00:20:18,976 TO AN OLD FRIEND, BABS BRANDO, 524 00:20:18,976 --> 00:20:21,643 AND TO MY NEW FRIEND, HABBIDYHABBA. 525 00:20:21,643 --> 00:20:22,710 - THAT'S ME! 526 00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:27,076 - * OOH * 527 00:20:27,076 --> 00:20:28,743 - MY FAVORITE SONG. 528 00:20:28,743 --> 00:20:30,143 THANK YOU, MONDO. 529 00:20:30,143 --> 00:20:32,710 THIS WAS THE BEST NIGHT EVER. 530 00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:34,910 THAT'S WEIRD, MY BRA IS UNHOOKED. 531 00:20:34,910 --> 00:20:36,810 - SECAUCUS SNAP. 532 00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:39,743 - THAT'S MY BOY. 533 00:20:39,743 --> 00:20:44,210 * * 534 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,710 [cheers and applause]