1 00:00:03,043 --> 00:00:04,576 [boom] 2 00:00:04,576 --> 00:00:07,043 - BALLS! THE WAVES ARE ALL FLAT AND MUSHED OUT. 3 00:00:07,043 --> 00:00:09,043 - I'LL GO RUB THE STATUE. 4 00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:11,143 - YEAH, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK ABOUT THAT. 5 00:00:11,143 --> 00:00:13,810 WHY IS EVERYBODY ALWAYS TOUCHING ITS CROTCH? 6 00:00:13,810 --> 00:00:17,676 - DUDE! NO ONE'S TOLD YOU THE STORY OF DUKE LOPEZ? 7 00:00:17,676 --> 00:00:19,476 AH, HE'S MY HERO. 8 00:00:19,476 --> 00:00:23,110 LEGEND HAS IT THAT HIS FATHER WAS A BIG GAME FISHERMAN. 9 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,943 ONE DAY, HE ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED A MERMAID, 10 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,910 AND THEY FELL MADLY IN LOVE. 11 00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:30,310 - [gasps] 12 00:00:30,310 --> 00:00:32,643 - SURE, THEY HAD TO PUT UP WITH STARES AND WHISPERS... 13 00:00:32,643 --> 00:00:34,210 - [gasps] [vomits] 14 00:00:34,210 --> 00:00:36,243 - BUT THEY DIDN'T CARE. - [dolphin laugh] 15 00:00:36,243 --> 00:00:39,943 - BUT AFTER YEARS OF ONLY ORAL SEX, THEY GREW APART. 16 00:00:39,943 --> 00:00:43,643 EVEN FERTILIZING THE FISH EGGS LOST ITS JOY. 17 00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:45,543 BUT THEN, A MIRACLE HAPPENED, 18 00:00:45,543 --> 00:00:48,876 AND THAT LITTLE GUPPY GREW UP TO BE DUKE LOPEZ. 19 00:00:48,876 --> 00:00:51,243 HEART OF A FISH, LEGS OF A MAN, 20 00:00:51,243 --> 00:00:54,043 JUST AS AT HOME IN THE SEA AS ON LAND. 21 00:00:54,043 --> 00:00:57,010 WITH HIS SIGNATURE SPEEDOS, HE WON EVERY SURF CONTEST 22 00:00:57,010 --> 00:00:58,310 UP AND DOWN THE COAST. 23 00:00:58,310 --> 00:00:59,643 HE WAS UNBEATABLE, 24 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:03,210 AND SOME SAY HIS MAGIC EUROPEAN LYCRA SWIM BRIEFS 25 00:01:03,210 --> 00:01:06,410 WERE A GIFT FROM POSEIDON HIMSELF. 26 00:01:06,410 --> 00:01:08,343 AND THEN ONE DAY IT HAPPENED... 27 00:01:08,343 --> 00:01:09,710 [thunder claps] 28 00:01:09,710 --> 00:01:11,843 THE DONGABUNGA. 29 00:01:11,843 --> 00:01:17,110 A ROGUE WAVE THAT STRIKES THE SHORE ONCE EVERY 15 YEARS. 30 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:20,876 A HUNDRED FEET OF SHEER DESTRUCTION. 31 00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:24,710 WHILE OTHERS FLED, DUKE PADDLED INTO THE BELLY OF THE BEAST. 32 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:27,110 THE MAN HAD HUGE BALLS. 33 00:01:27,110 --> 00:01:29,210 - HE MUST'VE HAD A LOT OF COURAGE. 34 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:31,110 - THAT, AND YOU COULD SEE THEM 35 00:01:31,110 --> 00:01:33,943 THROUGH THE AFOREMENTIONED SPEEDOS. 36 00:01:33,943 --> 00:01:37,210 MANY HAVE TRIED SINCE, BUT DUKE WAS THE ONLY ONE 37 00:01:37,210 --> 00:01:39,510 TO EVER SURF THE DONGABUNGA. 38 00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:41,743 - AWESOME. WHERE IS HE NOW? 39 00:01:41,743 --> 00:01:43,210 - HE JUST DISAPPEARED. 40 00:01:43,210 --> 00:01:45,876 SOME SAY HE LEFT IN SEARCH OF BIGGER WAVES AND BETTER WOMEN, 41 00:01:45,876 --> 00:01:47,210 BUT NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE. 42 00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:49,643 THE CITY ERECTED A STATUE IN DUKE'S HONOR, 43 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:53,876 THUS GIVING BIRTH TO THE PATRON TAINT OF PLAYA DEL TORO. 44 00:01:53,876 --> 00:01:55,776 RUB THE NETHERS FOR GOOD WEATHERS. 45 00:01:55,776 --> 00:01:57,710 - I GOT THIS ONE, BUDDY. 46 00:01:57,710 --> 00:02:01,143 - UH, MONDO, THE STATUE'S OVER THERE. 47 00:02:01,143 --> 00:02:02,743 - THEN WHAT'S THIS? 48 00:02:02,743 --> 00:02:05,676 - THIS IS BRUCE, AND I DIDN'T SAY STOP. 49 00:02:05,676 --> 00:02:08,610 [surf punk music] 50 00:02:08,610 --> 00:02:16,543 * * 51 00:02:18,976 --> 00:02:21,110 [mechanical clinking] 52 00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:25,243 * * 53 00:02:28,343 --> 00:02:29,543 [cheers and applause] 54 00:02:29,543 --> 00:02:32,176 - CHESTER "THE WAVE MOLESTER" ON THE SCENE, 55 00:02:32,176 --> 00:02:35,876 WORKING HIS WAY UP THE WALL NOW IS REIGNING TWO-TIME CHAMP, 56 00:02:35,876 --> 00:02:39,210 LOCAL BRO, TURK "THE JERK" TURKPATRICK. 57 00:02:39,210 --> 00:02:42,943 AS YOU CAN SEE, HE'S REMINDING US ALL THAT HE'S NUMBER ONE. 58 00:02:42,943 --> 00:02:45,276 - SUCK IT, LOSERS! 59 00:02:45,276 --> 00:02:47,743 - HIDE YOUR KIDS. HIDE YOUR WIFE. 60 00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:49,876 HE'S ABOUT TO ATTEMPT THE IMPOSSIBLE! 61 00:02:49,876 --> 00:02:53,443 NO WAY! HE'S GONNA BREAK A TWO-YEAR CELL PHONE AGREEMENT 62 00:02:53,443 --> 00:02:54,910 WITHOUT A PENALTY! 63 00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:56,810 - LIVE AGENT, PLEASE. 64 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,576 - HE'S DONE IT! HE'S DONE IT! 65 00:02:59,576 --> 00:03:01,610 - NO, NO, YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY. 66 00:03:01,610 --> 00:03:02,610 [laughs] 67 00:03:02,610 --> 00:03:05,610 [cheers and applause] 68 00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:06,710 - CRAP, THAT DIDN'T WORK. 69 00:03:06,710 --> 00:03:09,110 - OW, MY CROTCH AND MY EYES! 70 00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:11,110 - AND OUR FINAL CONTESTANT AND CURRENT LEADER, 71 00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:15,010 THE REIGNING JUNIOR CHAMP, WOODIE STONE! 72 00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:17,443 ALL HE HAS TO DO IS STAY ON HIS BOARD, 73 00:03:17,443 --> 00:03:19,976 AND IT'LL BE THE UPSET OF THE YEAR. 74 00:03:19,976 --> 00:03:22,676 - HE'S GONNA WIN! HE'S GONNA WIN! 75 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:32,610 ALL RIGHT! DO IT! WHOO-HOO! 76 00:03:32,610 --> 00:03:34,243 [lenses snap] 77 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,610 - THAT'S MY SON. 78 00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:41,610 - WHOA! 79 00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,010 - all: OH! 80 00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:45,543 - I MEAN, THAT'S MY SUN. 81 00:03:45,543 --> 00:03:47,676 SOURCE OF ALL LIFE. I KNOW I DON'T SAY IT ENOUGH, 82 00:03:47,676 --> 00:03:50,676 BUT I LOVE YOU, SUN. [chuckles] 83 00:03:50,676 --> 00:03:54,010 SOMEONE SHOULD SEE IF THAT LOSER DROWNED. 84 00:03:57,910 --> 00:04:00,843 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT MAN. IT'S JUST A SURF MEET. 85 00:04:00,843 --> 00:04:02,310 - OH, YOU DON'T GET IT. 86 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:05,210 THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE BEEN WORKING FOR MY WHOLE LIFE, 87 00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:06,243 AND I CHOKED. 88 00:04:06,243 --> 00:04:07,443 - I GOT THIS. 89 00:04:07,443 --> 00:04:09,176 ALL RIGHT, GOOGLING SPORTS CLICHES 90 00:04:09,176 --> 00:04:12,110 THAT YOU SAY TO LOSERS WHO HAVE THROWN AWAY THEIR CAREERS. 91 00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:14,676 HM, AH! "EVERYONE LOVES A LADIES MAN, TIGER." 92 00:04:14,676 --> 00:04:17,110 NOPE. "NO ONE CARES ABOUT PUPPIES, MR. VICK." 93 00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:19,510 UH-UH. "A SELF-AGGRANDIZING TV SPECIAL 94 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,276 WAS A GREAT IDEA, LEBRON." 95 00:04:21,276 --> 00:04:23,276 NO WAY! AH, HERE WE ARE. 96 00:04:23,276 --> 00:04:24,376 "YOU'LL GET 'EM NEXT TIME." 97 00:04:24,376 --> 00:04:26,576 - THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A NEXT TIME. 98 00:04:26,576 --> 00:04:28,543 SORRY I LET YOU DOWN, DUKE. 99 00:04:28,543 --> 00:04:30,010 - IT'S OKAY, KID. 100 00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:31,610 NOW, RUB ME FOR LUCK. 101 00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:33,143 IT'LL MAKE ALL OF US FEEL BETTER. 102 00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:38,510 [vomiting sounds] 103 00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:39,910 - MILAN, ARE YOU OKAY? 104 00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:43,343 - UHH, MY HURL SESH WAS REALLY WEIRD TODAY. 105 00:04:43,343 --> 00:04:45,543 I WAS ACTUALLY NAUSEOUS BEFORE IT HAPPENED. 106 00:04:45,543 --> 00:04:47,210 - ARE YOU FEELING OKAY OTHERWISE? 107 00:04:47,210 --> 00:04:49,843 - I FEEL GREAT. I JUMPED A WHOLE CUP SIZE. 108 00:04:49,843 --> 00:04:52,310 DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY FOR IT. HA. 109 00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:53,843 - DO YOU THINK YOU COULD BE PREGNANT? 110 00:04:53,843 --> 00:04:55,210 - YOU'RE PREGNANT, SLUT. 111 00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:56,976 OH, SORRY, REFLEX. 112 00:04:56,976 --> 00:04:59,110 - YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TAKE A PREGNANCY TEST. 113 00:04:59,110 --> 00:05:02,410 - OH, I HATE TAKING TESTS. 114 00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:04,976 CAN'T I JUST HAVE THAT ASIAN KID TAKE IT FOR ME? 115 00:05:06,943 --> 00:05:09,176 - "LOBSTER STYLE BISQUE"? 116 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:12,010 MMM, CONSIDER MY INTEREST PIQUED. 117 00:05:12,010 --> 00:05:14,610 - I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE. IT'S COCKROACHES. 118 00:05:14,610 --> 00:05:16,876 WHAT? THEY'RE THE LOBSTERS OF THE WALL. 119 00:05:16,876 --> 00:05:19,476 - DUDE, THIS IS SERIOUS. I LOST MY STOKE. 120 00:05:19,476 --> 00:05:20,476 - STOKE? 121 00:05:20,476 --> 00:05:22,610 - STOKE IS YOUR GUIDING FORCE. 122 00:05:22,610 --> 00:05:24,676 IT'S WHAT STEERS YOU ON A SURFBOARD, 123 00:05:24,676 --> 00:05:26,910 TELLS YOU WHAT TO PUT ON A BURRITO, 124 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,610 AND LETS YOU KNOW WHICH HAND TO USE 125 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:30,176 WHEN YOU'RE MAKING LOVE TO YOURSELF. 126 00:05:30,176 --> 00:05:32,243 WITHOUT IT YOU'VE GOT NO CONFIDENCE, 127 00:05:32,243 --> 00:05:34,876 YOU CAN'T MAKE ANY DECISIONS, YOU'RE LOST. 128 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,376 - IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD. 129 00:05:36,376 --> 00:05:39,843 - THIS MORNING I COULDN'T DECIDE BETWEEN SNEAKERS OR SANDALS. 130 00:05:39,843 --> 00:05:43,610 - I LOOK LIKE A LESBIAN OR A JAPANESE MAN IN THE SUMMER! 131 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,876 - WHAT'LL IT BE, STRETCH? 132 00:05:44,876 --> 00:05:48,610 - UH, UH, UHH... 133 00:05:48,610 --> 00:05:50,876 UH, LOBSTER STYLE BISQUE! DAMN! 134 00:05:50,876 --> 00:05:53,776 - REALLY? OKAY. YOU WANT A SIDE DISH? 135 00:05:53,776 --> 00:05:54,910 - UH, MORE BISQUE! 136 00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:56,776 [bleep] SEE WHAT I'M DEALING WITH? 137 00:05:56,776 --> 00:05:58,810 - WILL YOU CALM DOWN? YOU'RE NOT CHOKING. 138 00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:01,310 - [choking] 139 00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:02,576 - [grunting] - [laughs] 140 00:06:02,576 --> 00:06:06,110 WAY TO GO, MONDO. I ALWAYS PEGGED YOU AS A BOTTOM. 141 00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:08,443 - [vomits] - I DUNNO MAN, 142 00:06:08,443 --> 00:06:12,143 THE ONLY PERSON I EVER HEARD OF GETTING THEIR STOKE BACK WAS ME. 143 00:06:12,143 --> 00:06:14,543 BACK IN THE DAY, I HAD IT ALL. 144 00:06:14,543 --> 00:06:17,910 PONTIAC FIERO, CLOSET FULL OF TURTLENECKS, 145 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:21,343 AND DENTAL INSURANCE WITH A REASONABLE CO-PAY. 146 00:06:21,343 --> 00:06:24,443 THEN, JUST LIKE THAT, IT WAS GONE IN A PUFF OF SMOKE. 147 00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:25,910 [coughs] 148 00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:29,643 BUT AFTER 20 DARK YEARS, THE CONTENTS OF WHICH 149 00:06:29,643 --> 00:06:31,543 I CANNOT LEGALLY SHARE WITH YOU, 150 00:06:31,543 --> 00:06:35,010 I TURNED IT ALL AROUND AND MOVED INTO THIS BITCHIN' VAN. 151 00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:36,576 [coughs] 152 00:06:36,576 --> 00:06:37,743 [spits] 153 00:06:37,743 --> 00:06:39,976 BOMB-DIGGITY! 154 00:06:39,976 --> 00:06:43,110 - SEE? EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JUST FINE. 155 00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,010 - SHH! DO YOU HEAR IT? 156 00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:47,110 OH, IT'S COMING. 157 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:48,110 - WHAT'S COMING? 158 00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:49,843 - THE DONGABUNGA. 159 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,610 IT'LL BE HERE IN TWO DAYS. 160 00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:54,110 IT'S GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST WAVE EVER, 161 00:06:54,110 --> 00:06:56,776 REACHING IN EXCESS OF 100 FEET. 162 00:06:56,776 --> 00:07:00,376 - YOU CAN TELL ALL THAT FROM LISTENING TO THE SAND? 163 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:03,343 - NO, MAN. SOME LOSER LOST HIS RADIO. 164 00:07:03,343 --> 00:07:04,276 [laughs] 165 00:07:07,976 --> 00:07:09,710 - WOODIE, THIS IS PERFECT TIMING. 166 00:07:09,710 --> 00:07:11,776 YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING BIG TO GET YOUR STOKE BACK 167 00:07:11,776 --> 00:07:13,176 AND SURFING THE DONGABUNGA IS IT! 168 00:07:13,176 --> 00:07:15,443 - HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SURF A MONSTER WAVE 169 00:07:15,443 --> 00:07:16,910 WHEN I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE CONFIDENCE 170 00:07:16,910 --> 00:07:18,410 TO ORDER WHAT I WANT FOR LUNCH? 171 00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:21,910 LOOK, I'M HOLDING A TOFU SHAKE WITH AN ESTROGEN BOOST! 172 00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:25,110 SURE, I'M GLOWING, BUT AT WHAT COST TO MY MANHOOD? 173 00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:26,410 [sucks on straw] 174 00:07:26,410 --> 00:07:28,576 - HERE'S OUR ANSWER. WAIT... 175 00:07:28,576 --> 00:07:31,110 [clanging] - YUP, HERE'S OUR ANSWER! 176 00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:32,410 - OH, OF COURSE! 177 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,643 A COPPER CODPIECE IS GONNA GIVE WOODIE 178 00:07:34,643 --> 00:07:36,443 ALL THE CONFIDENCE HE NEEDS! 179 00:07:36,443 --> 00:07:38,710 - OR WE COULD GET DUKE LOPEZ 180 00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:40,710 TO TRAIN WOODIE TO SURF THE DONGABUNGA! 181 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,210 - BUT NO ONE'S SEEN HIM FOR YEARS. 182 00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:43,576 WE'LL NEVER FIND HIM. 183 00:07:43,576 --> 00:07:45,176 - WE'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO TRACK HIM DOWN, 184 00:07:45,176 --> 00:07:47,210 TAX RECORDS, DENTAL RECORDS-- 185 00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:48,443 - [laughs] - WHAT? 186 00:07:48,443 --> 00:07:50,110 - I JUST CAME! 187 00:07:50,110 --> 00:07:52,843 HANG ON-- MULTIPLE TIMES! 188 00:07:52,843 --> 00:07:55,776 LET ME FINISH-- ACROSS DUKE'S ADDRESS. 189 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,343 - THAT'S HIM! - ALL RIGHT. 190 00:07:57,343 --> 00:08:00,276 HE LIVES SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF "RAPE COUNTY." 191 00:08:00,276 --> 00:08:01,610 both: HUH? - "SO NAMED 192 00:08:01,610 --> 00:08:03,510 FOR THE ABUNDANT FIELDS OF RAPESEED." 193 00:08:03,510 --> 00:08:04,510 [both sigh] 194 00:08:04,510 --> 00:08:05,610 - "...AND ALL THE PRISON RAPES." 195 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,143 - UH? - SHOTGUN! 196 00:08:07,143 --> 00:08:10,110 - SO DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THE FATHER MIGHT BE? 197 00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:12,143 - IT'S EITHER JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, TONY PARKER, 198 00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:13,810 THE OAKLAND RAIDERS, DAUGHTRY--THE BAND, 199 00:08:13,810 --> 00:08:15,676 OR MY EX-BOYFRIEND DAUGHTRY-- THE SINGER. 200 00:08:15,676 --> 00:08:17,710 - YOU SLEPT WITH ALL OF THOSE GUYS? 201 00:08:17,710 --> 00:08:20,110 - NO, BUT I DID USE A HOT TUB AT THE FOUR SEASONS 202 00:08:20,110 --> 00:08:21,476 AFTER THE ESPY AWARDS. 203 00:08:21,476 --> 00:08:23,710 - YOU KNOW, MILAN, I'M REALLY HAPPY TO HELP YOU 204 00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:25,110 WITH THIS WHOLE SITUATION, 205 00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:27,943 BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR OTHER FRIENDS? 206 00:08:27,943 --> 00:08:29,876 - OH, THE KUNTZ TWINS? 207 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,743 YEAH, THEY CAN BE SUCH RAGING-- 208 00:08:31,743 --> 00:08:33,376 OH, WHAT'S THE WORD I'M SEARCHING FOR? 209 00:08:33,376 --> 00:08:35,143 CHATTY CATHIES. 210 00:08:35,143 --> 00:08:36,410 - OOH, THIS ONE LOOKS HOT! 211 00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:39,443 - "16 AND PREGNANT HOME TESTING KIT. 212 00:08:39,443 --> 00:08:43,110 NOW WITH FREE SAMPLE OF JERSEY SHORE BRAND VALTREX." 213 00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:45,843 - [claps and squeals] 214 00:08:45,843 --> 00:08:48,243 - YOU WANT YOUR KIDS TO GROW UP RIGHT? 215 00:08:48,243 --> 00:08:51,510 IT'S UP TO YOU TO ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS. 216 00:08:51,510 --> 00:08:53,443 "ARE YOU A TERRORIST?" 217 00:08:53,443 --> 00:08:55,676 "DO YOU DRUG MULE FOR THE YAKUZA?" 218 00:08:55,676 --> 00:08:58,010 - SEE YOU LATER, MA, I'M GOING OUT. 219 00:08:58,010 --> 00:09:00,176 - WAIT A MINUTE, MISTER, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 220 00:09:00,176 --> 00:09:01,843 AS A PARENT, I NEED TO KNOW. 221 00:09:01,843 --> 00:09:03,810 - UH! I'M GOING TO RAPE COUNTY 222 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:06,443 TO MEET SOME OLD GUY THAT WADSKA FOUND ON THE INTERNET. 223 00:09:06,443 --> 00:09:08,843 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SARCASTIC. JEEZ. 224 00:09:09,910 --> 00:09:11,243 [boom] 225 00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:19,110 - YOU SURE YOU GOT THE RIGHT ADDRESS? 226 00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:20,510 - WHOO-HOO! 227 00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:24,010 - GOOD, GREAT, HANG TEN. YOU GOT IT, BOOSTAMUCHA. 228 00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:26,410 - HELP! I CAN'T SWIM! 229 00:09:26,410 --> 00:09:30,810 - EXCUSE ME, UM, ARE YOU DUKE LOPEZ? 230 00:09:30,810 --> 00:09:33,110 - IF YOU'RE WONDERING IF I'M YOUR FATHER, GET IN LINE. 231 00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:35,376 I'VE GOT DNA SWABS IN THE RV. 232 00:09:35,376 --> 00:09:37,776 - NO, NICK NOLTE MUG SHOT, 233 00:09:37,776 --> 00:09:40,610 WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE DONGABUNGA. 234 00:09:40,610 --> 00:09:42,743 - STEP INTO MY OFFICE. 235 00:09:42,743 --> 00:09:45,276 - SERIOUSLY! I'M DROWNING! 236 00:09:45,276 --> 00:09:46,976 - WHOA! 237 00:09:46,976 --> 00:09:49,110 YOU WON MAVERICK'S IN '81? 238 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,443 - HUNG OVER WHILE PASSING A KIDNEY STONE 239 00:09:51,443 --> 00:09:54,510 ON HALF A BOARD WITH 20 STITCHES FROM A SHARK BITE. 240 00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:56,143 - IS THIS THE PEARL NECKLACE 241 00:09:56,143 --> 00:09:58,410 THAT YOU WON AT THE OAHU INVITATIONAL? 242 00:09:58,410 --> 00:09:59,643 - YAWN. 243 00:09:59,643 --> 00:10:02,443 - I PAWNED THE NECKLACE. THOSE ARE PLEASURE BEADS. 244 00:10:02,443 --> 00:10:03,543 - UN-YAWN! 245 00:10:03,543 --> 00:10:05,410 - NO OFFENSE TO YOU AND YOUR SQUALOR, 246 00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:07,243 BUT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? 247 00:10:07,243 --> 00:10:10,810 - AFTER PLAYA DEL TORO, I MOVED ON TO THE PRO CIRCUIT. 248 00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:12,343 I WAS ON TOP OF THE WORLD-- 249 00:10:12,343 --> 00:10:15,143 FAME, WOMEN, LUCRATIVE ENDORSEMENT DEALS. 250 00:10:15,143 --> 00:10:16,476 - DIBS! - THEY WERE RIGHT. 251 00:10:16,476 --> 00:10:19,510 YOU WERE ON A QUEST FOR BIGGER WAVES AND BETTER WOMEN. 252 00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,210 - I NEVER SAID THAT, KID. 253 00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:24,243 I WAS AFTER BETTER WAVES AND BIGGER WOMEN. 254 00:10:24,243 --> 00:10:26,543 - IS THAT MS. TEETS? 255 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,676 - THAT'S MY VONEETA. [sniffles] 256 00:10:28,676 --> 00:10:31,376 I'LL TELL YOU BOYS, WHEN I LEFT PLAYA DEL TORO, 257 00:10:31,376 --> 00:10:33,810 I LEFT BEHIND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL... 258 00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,443 MY HEART. 259 00:10:35,443 --> 00:10:37,976 I WENT BACK FOR HER, BUT SHE WOULDN'T HAVE ME. 260 00:10:37,976 --> 00:10:41,043 I EVEN PUT 1/2 DOZEN DONUTS ON MY DING-DONG. 261 00:10:41,043 --> 00:10:43,310 [sniffs] SHE JUST ATE THE DONUTS. 262 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,643 [sobs] 263 00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:47,376 AFTER THAT, I LOST MY PASSION FOR SURFING, 264 00:10:47,376 --> 00:10:49,310 FOR LIFE, FOR EVERYTHING. 265 00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:50,610 WHEN I WOKE UP AS THE MEAT 266 00:10:50,610 --> 00:10:52,643 IN A DELTA BURKE/ROSEANNE BARR SANDWICH, 267 00:10:52,643 --> 00:10:54,476 I KNEW I'D HIT ROCK BOTTOM. 268 00:10:54,476 --> 00:10:56,010 SO I STUMBLED OUT OF THAT HARDEE'S, 269 00:10:56,010 --> 00:10:57,410 AND IN THE PARKING LOT 270 00:10:57,410 --> 00:11:00,276 WAS A MAN SELLING THIS ENDLESS WAVE MACHINE. 271 00:11:00,276 --> 00:11:01,710 - SO YOU JUST GAVE UP? 272 00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:03,110 BUT YOU'RE MY HERO. 273 00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:05,776 - YOU KNOW, I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING FOR THAT JOB. 274 00:11:05,776 --> 00:11:06,743 [spits] 275 00:11:09,110 --> 00:11:10,843 - MR. DUKE, IS THERE ANY WAY 276 00:11:10,843 --> 00:11:13,110 YOU CAN HELP MY FRIEND GET HIS STOKE BACK? 277 00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:14,110 - [pttt] HA! 278 00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:16,243 MY TIME'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT. 279 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,776 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT 280 00:11:18,776 --> 00:11:20,243 TO SELL SOME BLOOD FOR CIGARETTE MONEY. 281 00:11:20,243 --> 00:11:21,343 [metal crashing] 282 00:11:21,343 --> 00:11:24,376 - HUH, KID'S GOT TALENT. 283 00:11:24,376 --> 00:11:26,710 THAT'S THE BEST I'VE SEEN, SINCE... 284 00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:28,143 ME. 285 00:11:28,143 --> 00:11:31,410 - HOW 'BOUT THIS--WE'LL HELP YOU GET YOUR HEART BACK 286 00:11:31,410 --> 00:11:33,676 IF YOU'LL HELP WOODIE GET HIS STOKE BACK. 287 00:11:33,676 --> 00:11:34,976 QUID PRO QUO. 288 00:11:34,976 --> 00:11:36,743 - TIT FOR TEETS. 289 00:11:38,410 --> 00:11:40,810 - COME ON, JUST HOLD IT WHILE I PEE. 290 00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:43,543 - NO! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE TURK. 291 00:11:43,543 --> 00:11:44,943 [both laugh] 292 00:11:44,943 --> 00:11:46,243 [urinating] 293 00:11:46,243 --> 00:11:47,476 - [screams] 294 00:11:47,476 --> 00:11:49,810 THIS IS THE WORST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! 295 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,143 - OH, NO, IS IT POSITIVE? 296 00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:53,543 - NO, I JUST SAW YOUR SHOES. GROSS. 297 00:11:53,543 --> 00:11:55,876 TELL ME HOW THE REST OF 2006 TURNS OUT. 298 00:11:55,876 --> 00:11:58,743 - OH, SORRY! SORRY. OLD HABITS. 299 00:11:58,743 --> 00:12:00,110 [screaming] OH, MY GOD, NO! 300 00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,476 - WHAT, IS IT MY HAIR? 301 00:12:01,476 --> 00:12:02,643 - NO, BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, 302 00:12:02,643 --> 00:12:03,943 THAT CUT DOES MAKE YOUR FACE LOOK FAT. 303 00:12:03,943 --> 00:12:05,543 ALSO, CRAP! 304 00:12:05,543 --> 00:12:07,643 IT'S PREGNANT. [sobs] 305 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:08,976 - I'LL CALL MY DOCTOR. 306 00:12:08,976 --> 00:12:12,343 - AH! NO OFFENSE, BUT WE'RE GOING TO MY DOCTOR. 307 00:12:12,343 --> 00:12:14,376 HE DID MY MOM'S VAJAYJAY-REJUV, 308 00:12:14,376 --> 00:12:15,476 AND IF I'M KNOCKED UP, 309 00:12:15,476 --> 00:12:17,243 I WANNA GET AN ESTIMATE ON FUTURE REPAIRS. 310 00:12:17,243 --> 00:12:19,110 [gasps] OH GOD, I'M GONNA THROW UP. 311 00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:20,143 - IS IT MORNING SICKNESS? 312 00:12:20,143 --> 00:12:21,876 - NO, YOUR PANTS. 313 00:12:21,876 --> 00:12:22,876 [vomits] 314 00:12:26,476 --> 00:12:28,910 - MONDO? WHAT'S WITH THIS HAIR EVERYWHERE? 315 00:12:28,910 --> 00:12:30,943 ARE YOU GOING THROUGH THE CHANGES? 316 00:12:30,943 --> 00:12:34,310 - NO, MA, THEY BELONG TO THE OLD GUY FROM RAPE COUNTY. 317 00:12:34,310 --> 00:12:36,510 HE SPENT THE NIGHT IN MY BED. 318 00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:37,943 - VERY FUNNY. 319 00:12:37,943 --> 00:12:39,576 LOOK...I JUST WANT TO BE A PART OF YOUR LIFE. 320 00:12:39,576 --> 00:12:40,676 - BYE, MA. 321 00:12:41,810 --> 00:12:43,410 [squeaking] - OOH. 322 00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:45,376 DONGABUNGA'S COMING. 323 00:12:45,376 --> 00:12:47,810 WE GOT 24 HOURS. - ALL RIGHT, DUKE. 324 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:51,443 LET'S HIT THE WAVES. - PUT THE BOARD AWAY, JUGHEAD. 325 00:12:51,443 --> 00:12:52,876 FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN, 326 00:12:52,876 --> 00:12:55,110 YOU'VE ALREADY GOT THE SURFING SKILLS YOU NEED. 327 00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:58,310 WHAT YOU LACK ARE BALLS OF STEEL. 328 00:12:58,310 --> 00:12:59,743 [pop] 329 00:12:59,743 --> 00:13:03,543 [acid rock music] 330 00:13:03,543 --> 00:13:05,210 - AAH! 331 00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:13,143 * * 332 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,510 YOU REALLY THINK I'M READY? 333 00:13:32,510 --> 00:13:34,310 - I KNOW IT. BUT JUST IN CASE, 334 00:13:34,310 --> 00:13:37,110 I'M GONNA ENTRUST YOU WITH MY SECRET WEAPON. 335 00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:38,576 - IS IT CINNAMON? 336 00:13:38,576 --> 00:13:41,110 BECAUSE A LOTTA TIMES WHEN PEOPLE SAY THERE'S A SECRET, 337 00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:42,776 IT'S USUALLY CINNAMON. 338 00:13:42,776 --> 00:13:45,210 I'M GONNA--I'M GONNA LET YOU FINISH NOW. 339 00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:50,210 - WOW! ARE THESE THE MAGIC-- 340 00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:51,676 - DAMN STRAIGHT. 341 00:13:51,676 --> 00:13:54,710 THAT'S THE SAME PAIR I WORE WHEN I RODE THE DONGABUNGA. 342 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:55,710 - [sniffs] 343 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,210 UGH! CAN'T HE WASH THEM? 344 00:13:57,210 --> 00:13:58,510 - I WOULDN'T. 345 00:13:58,510 --> 00:14:01,943 NOW, I BELIEVE YOU BOYS PROMISED ME A HANDFUL OF TEATS. 346 00:14:01,943 --> 00:14:03,943 - GOOD NEWS, MILAN. YOU'RE AS BARREN 347 00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:05,643 AS A 38-YEAR-OLD SINGLE LAWYER 348 00:14:05,643 --> 00:14:07,376 WHO THINKS SHE MADE THE RIGHT DECISION 349 00:14:07,376 --> 00:14:09,210 BY CHOOSING A CAREER OVER HAVING A FAMILY. 350 00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:11,343 BUT SHE'S NOT HAPPY. - I CAN HEAR YOU! 351 00:14:11,343 --> 00:14:12,910 - SORRY, MEREDITH. 352 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:14,643 - SO SHE'S NOT PREGNANT. 353 00:14:14,643 --> 00:14:16,543 BUT...WHAT ABOUT THE POSITIVE TEST? 354 00:14:16,543 --> 00:14:18,176 - OH, THAT'S BECAUSE MILAN'S URINE 355 00:14:18,176 --> 00:14:20,710 IS 43% ILLEGAL APPETITE SUPPRESSANTS. 356 00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:22,143 YOU'RE ALL SET. 357 00:14:22,143 --> 00:14:23,876 SAY HI TO YOU MOM'S VAGINA FOR ME. 358 00:14:23,876 --> 00:14:25,343 - DEUCES! 359 00:14:25,343 --> 00:14:28,110 - WELL, THAT WAS... KIND OF FUN. 360 00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:30,976 - REMEMBER THE LAST TIME WE WERE AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE? 361 00:14:30,976 --> 00:14:32,410 I WAS TEACHING YOU HOW TO KISS, 362 00:14:32,410 --> 00:14:34,176 AND WE GOT OUR BRACES STUCK TOGETHER. 363 00:14:34,176 --> 00:14:37,143 - YEAH. EXCEPT I WAS THE ONE TEACHING YOU HOW TO KISS. 364 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:40,976 - [laughs] YOU WISH! 365 00:14:40,976 --> 00:14:43,110 THANK YOU, JEENA, FOR BEING THERE FOR ME 366 00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:44,776 WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST. 367 00:14:44,776 --> 00:14:46,443 I TOTALLY WON'T FORGET IT. 368 00:14:46,443 --> 00:14:47,476 - OH, MY GOD. 369 00:14:47,476 --> 00:14:48,510 MILAN? 370 00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:51,010 WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE DOCTOR? 371 00:14:51,010 --> 00:14:53,610 - YEAH, WITH HER. 372 00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:55,010 - JEENA GOT AN ABORTION! 373 00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:56,943 LISTEN, I'M SORRY. THEY'RE GONNA TELL EVERYONE. 374 00:14:56,943 --> 00:14:59,410 THAT'S WHY SHE GOT SO FAT THIS SEMESTER. 375 00:14:59,410 --> 00:15:00,510 I WISH I COULD STOP. 376 00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:02,643 AND SHE CALLED YOU CHATTY CATHIES. 377 00:15:02,643 --> 00:15:03,943 [both gasp] 378 00:15:03,943 --> 00:15:06,110 - ALL RIGHT, SHE'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE. 379 00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:07,343 - HOW'D YOU GET HER TO COME? 380 00:15:07,343 --> 00:15:08,576 THE PIER'S UPHILL FROM HER HOUSE. 381 00:15:08,576 --> 00:15:11,110 - I TOLD HER THERE WAS A HOTDOG EATING CONTEST. 382 00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,410 - WELL, HOW DO I LOOK? 383 00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:15,243 - PERFECT! LIKE A HOBO WITH A COURT DATE. 384 00:15:15,243 --> 00:15:16,243 [rumbling] - WHAT'S THAT? 385 00:15:16,243 --> 00:15:18,610 - DONGABUNGA'S COMING EARLY. 386 00:15:18,610 --> 00:15:21,410 - NO, IT'S HER. IT'S MY GAL. 387 00:15:21,410 --> 00:15:23,776 [thumping] - SURE YOU READY FOR THIS? 388 00:15:23,776 --> 00:15:26,810 - GOT MY FLOWERS, GOT MY CHOCOLATES... 389 00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:28,510 AND A HALF A DOZEN DONUTS. 390 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:31,543 [sexy music plays] 391 00:15:31,543 --> 00:15:37,976 * * 392 00:15:37,976 --> 00:15:39,410 - DUKE? 393 00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:42,010 DUKE...IT IS YOU. 394 00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:45,010 [sexy music continues] 395 00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,143 * * 396 00:15:46,143 --> 00:15:48,610 AHH... 397 00:15:53,443 --> 00:15:57,343 - CUT THAT OUT, FOGHEAD. YOU'LL RUIN YOUR APPETITE. 398 00:15:57,343 --> 00:15:58,910 DIOS MIO. 399 00:15:58,910 --> 00:16:01,710 YOUR TONGUE IS MOVING COUNTER-CLOCKWISE. 400 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,943 THAT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING. 401 00:16:03,943 --> 00:16:07,110 THE DONGABUNGA'S HERE. 402 00:16:09,743 --> 00:16:11,176 MMM. 403 00:16:11,176 --> 00:16:12,676 [man and woman moaning] 404 00:16:12,676 --> 00:16:15,210 - ARE YOU SURE WE SHOULD GO IN THERE? 405 00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,910 - DUKE SAID 9:00 A.M. 406 00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:18,576 [crash, thud] 407 00:16:18,576 --> 00:16:21,276 EVERYBODY OKAY? 408 00:16:21,276 --> 00:16:22,643 - MS. TEETS, I THOUGHT YOUR BEDROOM 409 00:16:22,643 --> 00:16:24,476 WAS ON THE SECOND FLOOR. 410 00:16:24,476 --> 00:16:26,676 - IT WAS. 411 00:16:26,676 --> 00:16:29,710 - [muffled] I'LL MEET YOU GUYS DOWN THERE 412 00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:31,276 IN FOUR MINUTES. 413 00:16:31,276 --> 00:16:33,410 - MAKE IT TEN. I GOTTA GET MINE. 414 00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,343 - ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN DO THIS, WOODIE? 415 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:38,276 - I CAN DO ANYTHING. 416 00:16:38,276 --> 00:16:40,776 AS LONG AS I GOT THESE. 417 00:16:40,776 --> 00:16:43,510 - HAH! I'LL TAKE THOSE, EL POLLO CHOKE-O. 418 00:16:43,510 --> 00:16:47,810 SOON EVERYONE'LL BE RUBBING MY TAINT FOR GOOD LUCK. 419 00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:50,443 - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 420 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,610 [thunder rumbles] - ROSARY CHANT, ROSARY CHANT. 421 00:16:52,610 --> 00:16:55,210 ROSARY CHANT. - YOU CAN STILL DO IT, BRO. 422 00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:57,276 YOU'RE THE BEST SURFER, AND EVERYBODY KNOWS IT. 423 00:16:57,276 --> 00:16:59,343 - I LOST MY ONLY CHANCE TO GET MY STOKE BACK 424 00:16:59,343 --> 00:17:01,910 THE MINUTE TURK STOLE THOSE MAGIC SHORTS. 425 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,710 - THOSE SHORTS AIN'T MAGIC. 426 00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:07,743 I BOUGHT 'EM IN 1980 AT A PIGGLY WIGGLY. 427 00:17:07,743 --> 00:17:09,410 I LET YOU THINK THEY WERE SPECIAL 428 00:17:09,410 --> 00:17:12,010 TO HELP GET YOUR BONY ASS OUT ON THE WAVE. 429 00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:15,110 LOOK, STICK BUG, THE REASON I WAS A GREAT SURFER 430 00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:18,176 WAS BECAUSE I HAD SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN SHORTS. 431 00:17:18,176 --> 00:17:21,476 I HAD SOMEONE WHO BELIEVED IN ME. 432 00:17:21,476 --> 00:17:23,143 - [chomping] RUUUH! 433 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,243 - YOU ALWAYS HAD WHAT IT TOOK TO BE A CHAMP-- 434 00:17:25,243 --> 00:17:28,110 THE UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT, FRIENDSHIP, AND LOVE 435 00:17:28,110 --> 00:17:30,143 OF A FULL-FIGURED WOMAN. 436 00:17:30,143 --> 00:17:32,676 - HE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW. WAIT--WHAT? 437 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:34,376 - SO TELL US, BRO, 438 00:17:34,376 --> 00:17:37,676 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN SURF THE DONGABUNGA? 439 00:17:37,676 --> 00:17:39,776 - I'VE GOT THE SKILLS, GOT THE NARDS, 440 00:17:39,776 --> 00:17:42,976 AND A SECRET WEAPON. 441 00:17:42,976 --> 00:17:44,576 [laughter} 442 00:17:44,576 --> 00:17:46,843 - IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE SMUGGLING GRAPES! 443 00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:55,110 - LONNIE? YOU'RE GONNA RIDE TOO? 444 00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:56,543 - NAW, MAN. 445 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,776 LOST A FLIP FLOP. 446 00:17:58,776 --> 00:18:01,443 - THERE IT IS... THE DONGABUNGA. 447 00:18:01,443 --> 00:18:04,576 - THAT'S NOT THE DONGABUNGA, PICKLE SACK. 448 00:18:04,576 --> 00:18:07,110 THAT IS. 449 00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:11,576 - AARRRHHH! - AAAAHHHH! 450 00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:15,743 - WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! 451 00:18:15,743 --> 00:18:17,110 WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! 452 00:18:17,110 --> 00:18:18,110 - OOH! - WHAAAH! 453 00:18:18,110 --> 00:18:19,110 - OH! 454 00:18:40,743 --> 00:18:43,743 [rock pop] 455 00:18:43,743 --> 00:18:51,176 * * 456 00:18:55,243 --> 00:18:57,576 [cheers and applause] 457 00:18:57,576 --> 00:18:59,276 - THERE'S MY SUN. 458 00:18:59,276 --> 00:19:03,376 - THERE'S MINE. - YOU'RE A TERRIBLE FATHER. 459 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:04,976 - YOU'RE THE BEST, WOODIE! 460 00:19:04,976 --> 00:19:06,943 - I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT 461 00:19:06,943 --> 00:19:08,910 MY FULL-FIGURED WOMAN. 462 00:19:08,910 --> 00:19:10,376 - THAT'S ME! 463 00:19:10,376 --> 00:19:13,210 - JEENA, MY TUMMY HURTS, AND THIS SUIT IS SO TIGHT 464 00:19:13,210 --> 00:19:15,110 IT WON'T LET MY FARTS OUT. 465 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:16,710 - DON'T BE SUCH A BABY. 466 00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:19,276 - SPEAKING OF BABIES... 467 00:19:19,276 --> 00:19:20,643 - STAND DOWN, BITCHES! 468 00:19:20,643 --> 00:19:22,810 I MEAN, LET'S GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO MAKE FUN OF. 469 00:19:22,810 --> 00:19:24,110 SHE'S BORING. 470 00:19:24,110 --> 00:19:26,376 YOU'RE WELCOME. 471 00:19:26,376 --> 00:19:29,543 - OHH...I'M PROUD OF THAT KID. 472 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:33,443 - ARE YOU CRYING? UGH! YOU ARE A CHILD. 473 00:19:33,443 --> 00:19:36,010 - 'NEETA, I KNOW I DID YOU WRONG IN THE PAST, 474 00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:37,876 BUT I WANNA MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME. 475 00:19:37,876 --> 00:19:39,310 - NO. - BUT I LOVE-- 476 00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:41,376 - GET UP. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING BOTH OF US. 477 00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:44,443 LOOK, DUKIE, WHAT YOU AND I HAVE IS FUN AND ALL. 478 00:19:44,443 --> 00:19:47,443 THE SEX WAS... MMM, PRETTY GOOD FOR ONE GUY. 479 00:19:47,443 --> 00:19:50,176 BUT I'M A FREE SPIRIT. YOU CAN'T CAGE THIS FINCH. 480 00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:57,010 I'LL CALL YOU IF I WANNA BANG. 481 00:19:57,010 --> 00:19:58,710 - [hacks] 482 00:19:58,710 --> 00:20:00,910 - THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP, DUKE. 483 00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:03,310 - SORRY IT DIDN'T WORK OUT WITH MISS TEETS. 484 00:20:03,310 --> 00:20:05,376 - AH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, LITTLE LADY. 485 00:20:05,376 --> 00:20:09,743 I SURFED THE BIGGEST WAVE, AND I RODE THE BIGGEST WOMAN. 486 00:20:13,143 --> 00:20:15,210 - WHO WAS THAT? - THE OLD GUY FROM RAPE COUNTY 487 00:20:15,210 --> 00:20:16,610 WHO WAS SLEEPING MY BED. 488 00:20:16,610 --> 00:20:18,110 HE HAD THIS REALLY SKIMPY PAIR OF BRIEFS 489 00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:21,543 THAT HE SAID HAD MAGIC POWERS, AND HE TREATED ME LIKE A GIRL. 490 00:20:21,543 --> 00:20:23,710 - OH, AGAIN WITH THIS? 491 00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:27,076 LISTEN, IF YOU DON'T WANNA TALK TO ME, JUST SAY SO. 492 00:20:27,076 --> 00:20:29,476 - WELL, IT'S GREAT TO HAVE EVERYTHING BACK TO NORMAL. 493 00:20:29,476 --> 00:20:30,776 - DUDE, CHECK IT OUT. 494 00:20:30,776 --> 00:20:33,176 I GAVE THE STATUE A LITTLE UPGRADE. 495 00:20:33,176 --> 00:20:36,576 - I GOTTA ADMIT, IT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD, BRO. 496 00:20:36,576 --> 00:20:37,776 - THANKS. 497 00:20:37,776 --> 00:20:40,876 - DAMN IT, BRUCE! GIMME BACK THAT WIG!