1 00:00:02,943 --> 00:00:06,876 [phone ringing] 2 00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,976 - IT'S JEENA, BRO. DON'T ANSWER IT. 3 00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,510 - UH... 4 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:11,510 - MONDO? 5 00:00:11,510 --> 00:00:13,143 MONDO, WHERE'S WADSKA? 6 00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:14,710 WE HAVE TO GET OUR FAMILY PHOTO TAKEN 7 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:15,976 IN LESS THAN AN HOUR. 8 00:00:15,976 --> 00:00:18,910 - YEAH...THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. 9 00:00:18,910 --> 00:00:22,243 [donkey braying] 10 00:00:22,243 --> 00:00:24,210 - DOES THAT ZEBRA GOT A BLACK EYE? 11 00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:26,243 - BALLS. 12 00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:29,243 [pop rock music] 13 00:00:29,243 --> 00:00:35,176 * * 14 00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:51,110 [school bell ringing] 15 00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:52,776 * * 16 00:00:52,776 --> 00:00:54,010 - [grunts] 17 00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,910 AS YOU WERE. 18 00:00:55,910 --> 00:00:57,843 CARRY ON. 19 00:01:01,910 --> 00:01:03,110 - DUDE, WHAT'S WITH THE MATCH? 20 00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:04,410 THERE'S PLENTY OF LIGHT IN HERE. 21 00:01:04,410 --> 00:01:06,343 - BUT IT'S STINKY. 22 00:01:06,343 --> 00:01:09,276 THIS, GENTLEMEN, IS A MAP TO ONE OF THE GREAT TREASURES 23 00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:11,543 OF OUR MYSTERIOUS COASTLINE... 24 00:01:11,543 --> 00:01:14,676 RANCHO NUDERO. 25 00:01:14,676 --> 00:01:17,876 IT'S A LEGENDARY NUDE BEACH ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN, 26 00:01:17,876 --> 00:01:19,810 A MOIST, GLISTENING COVE 27 00:01:19,810 --> 00:01:23,543 BETWEEN THE SHAPELY LEGS OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN. 28 00:01:23,543 --> 00:01:25,776 - VERY NAUTICAL, VERY SEXUAL. 29 00:01:25,776 --> 00:01:26,776 - I KNOW, RIGHT? 30 00:01:26,776 --> 00:01:28,810 - I SUGGEST WE CUT LAST PERIOD 31 00:01:28,810 --> 00:01:31,543 IN ORDER TO MAKE IT IN TIME FOR THE NUDENING DUSK, 32 00:01:31,543 --> 00:01:34,743 A MAGIC HOUR JUST BEFORE SUNSET 33 00:01:34,743 --> 00:01:38,176 WHEN THE GOLDEN ROSY LIGHT TURNS EVERY WOMAN 34 00:01:38,176 --> 00:01:40,110 INTO A GLOWING GODDESS. 35 00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:41,110 [plopping sound] 36 00:01:41,110 --> 00:01:42,376 - UGH, MAN! 37 00:01:42,376 --> 00:01:44,343 HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING A CRAP THIS WHOLE TIME? 38 00:01:44,343 --> 00:01:45,843 - NOT THE WHOLE TIME. 39 00:01:45,843 --> 00:01:49,310 [disgusted groaning] 40 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,110 - NOW WHY DOESN'T THIS SURPRISE ME? 41 00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:54,010 [plopping sound] 42 00:01:54,010 --> 00:01:56,110 - ALL RIGHT, WE JUST HAVE TO MAKE IT TO MY CAR 43 00:01:56,110 --> 00:01:57,210 WITHOUT BEING BUSTED. 44 00:01:57,210 --> 00:02:00,510 LET'S JUST PLAY IT COOL, KEEP IT LOW-PRO. 45 00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:03,010 [whistling] - SNEAKY, SNEAKY WHISTLING. 46 00:02:03,010 --> 00:02:05,810 - ARE YOU GUYS DITCHING CLASS? 47 00:02:05,810 --> 00:02:07,576 - UH... - 'CAUSE I AM. 48 00:02:07,576 --> 00:02:08,576 WHERE ARE YOU GUYS HEADED? 49 00:02:08,576 --> 00:02:09,810 - [warning sound] 50 00:02:09,810 --> 00:02:11,876 - NOWHERE, TO DO NOTHING. 51 00:02:11,876 --> 00:02:15,010 SAME OLD SAME OLD, AND ON AND ON AND ON. 52 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,010 YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF LIKE THE WAR ON TERROR OR SOMETHING. 53 00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:20,743 - UM, MONDO, CAN I TALK WITH YOU FOR A MOMENT IN PRIVATE? 54 00:02:20,743 --> 00:02:23,210 LOOK, WHATEVER YOU GUYS ARE UP TO, IT'S COOL WITH ME. 55 00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,543 I JUST NEED A FAVOR. 56 00:02:24,543 --> 00:02:25,976 WE'RE GETTING OUR FAMILY PORTRAITS 57 00:02:25,976 --> 00:02:28,310 TAKEN TONIGHT, AND I NEED TO GET MY HAIR DONE. 58 00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:30,710 I KNOW THAT'S LAME, BUT I WAS HOPING YOU COULD-- 59 00:02:30,710 --> 00:02:33,110 - UH, HELP YOU GET THROUGH ADS IN FASHION MAGAZINES 60 00:02:33,110 --> 00:02:34,343 AND FIND JUST THE RIGHT LOOK? 61 00:02:34,343 --> 00:02:35,343 [sighs happily] 62 00:02:35,343 --> 00:02:36,576 I FIGURED THIS DAY WAS COMING, 63 00:02:36,576 --> 00:02:38,143 AND I'VE ALREADY DONE SOME OF THE LEGWORK. 64 00:02:38,143 --> 00:02:41,143 A LEIGHTON MEESTER WOULD LOOK SMOKING ON YOU. 65 00:02:41,143 --> 00:02:43,610 - MAYBE I'LL TAKE A RAIN CHECK ON THAT. 66 00:02:43,610 --> 00:02:45,110 LOOK, I JUST NEED TO GET WADSKA 67 00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:46,843 TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER'S BY 8:00. 68 00:02:46,843 --> 00:02:48,143 - NO PROBLEM. 69 00:02:48,143 --> 00:02:50,576 I'LL HAVE HIM THERE WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE. 70 00:02:50,576 --> 00:02:51,810 - GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. 71 00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:53,210 HE NEVER SMILES IN PICTURES. 72 00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:57,910 I'D JUST BE HAPPY IF HE DIDN'T RUIN IT. 73 00:02:57,910 --> 00:03:01,543 JUST ONCE, IT'D BE NICE TO HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY PORTRAIT. 74 00:03:01,543 --> 00:03:03,410 - YOU WERE SO CUTE, JEENA. 75 00:03:03,410 --> 00:03:04,610 - OH, REALLY? 76 00:03:04,610 --> 00:03:07,710 EVEN WITH BRACES AND MY LITTLE MOSQUITO BITES? 77 00:03:07,710 --> 00:03:09,210 - ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR MOSQUITO BITES. 78 00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:10,610 - OH, PLEASE. 79 00:03:10,610 --> 00:03:12,410 I WILL NEVER SMILE FOR THE MAN. 80 00:03:12,410 --> 00:03:13,676 NEVER! 81 00:03:13,676 --> 00:03:16,010 EVEN IF THE MAN IS WAVING A BEAUTIFUL TEDDY BEAR 82 00:03:16,010 --> 00:03:17,676 FROM BEHIND THE CAMERA AND BRIBING ME 83 00:03:17,676 --> 00:03:19,876 WITH PEANUT BUTTER CUPS! 84 00:03:19,876 --> 00:03:20,876 - BRO, CHILL OUT. 85 00:03:20,876 --> 00:03:23,376 REMEMBER THE NUDENING DUSK. 86 00:03:23,376 --> 00:03:25,443 - OH, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY. 87 00:03:25,443 --> 00:03:28,176 - AND MAKE SURE HE TAKES ALL HIS MEDS. 88 00:03:28,176 --> 00:03:29,443 [engine revving] 89 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,010 - WELL, HEY, IF IT AIN'T THE THREE MUSKEKWEERS. 90 00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:34,476 WHAT'S UP, FARTANYAN? AND UH... 91 00:03:34,476 --> 00:03:36,343 UH... 92 00:03:36,343 --> 00:03:38,343 AH, SCREW IT, YOU'RE ALL FARTANYANS. 93 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:39,410 [laughs] 94 00:03:39,410 --> 00:03:40,943 - I'M COUNTING ON YOU, MONDO. 95 00:03:40,943 --> 00:03:43,943 - TALLY-HO, TURD BURGLARS! 96 00:03:43,943 --> 00:03:47,443 [laughing and cheering] 97 00:03:51,276 --> 00:03:53,676 - THE TRAINING WHEELS ARE OFF! 98 00:03:53,676 --> 00:03:55,276 - BALLS! 99 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,543 - TIME TO GET MY ACTING CAREER BACK ON TRACK. 100 00:03:57,543 --> 00:03:58,843 [gulps, ankle bracelet beeping] 101 00:03:58,843 --> 00:04:00,176 [sighs] 102 00:04:00,176 --> 00:04:01,743 - WOODIE, I PROMISED JEENA 103 00:04:01,743 --> 00:04:03,676 I'D MAKE SURE WADSKA TOOK ALL THOSE PILLS. 104 00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:04,743 - AW, DON'T WORRY, BRO. 105 00:04:04,743 --> 00:04:06,176 WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? 106 00:04:06,176 --> 00:04:08,443 - SIDE EFFECTS OF WITHDRAWAL MAY INCLUDE MELANCHOLY, COLIC, 107 00:04:08,443 --> 00:04:10,743 MELAN-COLIC, BLACKOUTS, BLACK-INS, RENAL FAILURE, 108 00:04:10,743 --> 00:04:12,810 TESTICULAR SUCCESS, PARTICLE ACCELERATION, 109 00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:15,243 OVERACTIVE GAYDAR, GENERAL NIHILISM, 110 00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:17,276 MAKING WEIRD LISTS, BACKSEAT DRIVING-- 111 00:04:17,276 --> 00:04:18,343 OH, TURN HERE. 112 00:04:18,343 --> 00:04:20,476 [tires squeal] 113 00:04:20,476 --> 00:04:22,010 - WHERE ARE WE? 114 00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:23,443 - WE SHOULD BE CLOSE. 115 00:04:23,443 --> 00:04:26,876 - MM, SAYS WE'RE LOOKING FOR HOOK-UP HOLLOW. 116 00:04:26,876 --> 00:04:28,843 - LOOK, IT'S BOX WINE STUMP! 117 00:04:28,843 --> 00:04:30,510 - AND THERE'S PANTY DROP ROCK. 118 00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:35,410 - AND THE COPULATING OAK. 119 00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:36,410 [splash] 120 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,843 - MONEY SHOT! 121 00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:40,176 - THIS WAY. LET'S GO. 122 00:04:40,176 --> 00:04:42,276 AH, THE CALIFORNIA BEACH PEACH. 123 00:04:42,276 --> 00:04:46,843 I SUGGEST WE CARB UP FOR THE LONG DAY AHEAD. 124 00:04:46,843 --> 00:04:48,710 - HELL OF A HANDSHAKE, KID. 125 00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:51,110 WELCOME TO RANCHO NUDERO. 126 00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:54,110 [beachy ska music] 127 00:04:54,110 --> 00:05:00,110 * * 128 00:05:02,610 --> 00:05:05,243 - NOT COOL. NOT SEXUAL. 129 00:05:05,243 --> 00:05:06,376 - I KNOW, RIGHT? 130 00:05:06,376 --> 00:05:07,410 [zipper lowering] - [gasps] 131 00:05:07,410 --> 00:05:10,510 HORSESHOES. WATCH THIS HUSTLE. 132 00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:12,310 OH, WHAT'S THIS GAME? 133 00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:14,110 MAYBE WE SHOULD PLAY FOR MONEY. 134 00:05:14,110 --> 00:05:16,776 I KNOW YOU'VE GOT PENSION CHECKS. 135 00:05:16,776 --> 00:05:22,310 - OH, YOU BOYS REMIND ME OF A YOUNG JACK AND BOBBY KENNEDY. 136 00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:23,576 [chuckles] 137 00:05:23,576 --> 00:05:24,943 YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW DIFFERENT 138 00:05:24,943 --> 00:05:27,143 TWO BROTHERS' PENISES COULD LOOK. 139 00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:28,976 ANYHOO, YOU SHOULD GO PLAY 140 00:05:28,976 --> 00:05:32,310 WITH MY GRANDDAUGHTER AND HER FRIENDS OVER THERE. 141 00:05:32,310 --> 00:05:34,110 [distant club music] 142 00:05:34,110 --> 00:05:35,376 - HEAR THAT? 143 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,176 THAT'S THE SOUND OF GIRLS MAKING BAD DECISIONS. 144 00:05:38,176 --> 00:05:39,310 LET'S GO! 145 00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:41,143 - BUT...I'VE GOT TO GET WADSKA. 146 00:05:41,143 --> 00:05:42,210 [horseshoe clanking] 147 00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:44,343 - WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE-- WHAT ARE YOU? 148 00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:45,810 40, 45? 149 00:05:45,810 --> 00:05:49,243 I WAS DODGING THE DRAFT SO THE ARMY WOULDN'T SHIP ME OFF 150 00:05:49,243 --> 00:05:51,310 TO THE MOON TO FIGHT THE BEATLES. 151 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:53,143 - [laughing] OH, PLEASE. 152 00:05:53,143 --> 00:05:54,876 WE NEVER LANDED ON THE MOON. 153 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:59,676 THAT BASTARD ARMSTRONG PLANTED OLD GLORY ON CORNELIUS-88. 154 00:05:59,676 --> 00:06:01,910 RINGER! PAY UP, CHARLES. 155 00:06:01,910 --> 00:06:04,276 I'VE HAD MY EYE ON THAT CANE ALL DAY. 156 00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:05,543 [ice rattle] YOU HEAR THAT, MYRTLE? 157 00:06:05,543 --> 00:06:09,810 THAT'S THE SOUND OF YOUR TIP DISAPPEARING. 158 00:06:09,810 --> 00:06:12,310 - LOOKS LIKE WE GOT HERE JUST IN TIME. 159 00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:15,743 - NO, NO, NO! 160 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:18,676 [indistinct chatter, thumping music] 161 00:06:27,843 --> 00:06:30,376 - THIS PARTY'S BETTER. - WAIT FOR IT. 162 00:06:30,376 --> 00:06:33,276 THE DUSK HAS NUDENED. 163 00:06:33,276 --> 00:06:34,943 [angelic chorus] 164 00:06:34,943 --> 00:06:38,110 [soft moaning, giggling] 165 00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:40,510 - NOW, WADSKA, I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU, 166 00:06:40,510 --> 00:06:43,143 SO I WANT YOU TO STAY CLOSE TO ME AT ALL TIMES. 167 00:06:43,143 --> 00:06:45,210 DO NOT LOSE YOUR COOL. 168 00:06:45,210 --> 00:06:49,210 - HEY, GUYS! I'M SO HORNY. 169 00:06:49,210 --> 00:06:51,843 - OH, MY GOD, SHE'S HUNGRY! 170 00:06:51,843 --> 00:06:53,843 - I THINK SHE SAID, "HORNY." 171 00:06:53,843 --> 00:06:56,210 - ARE YOU SURE? I DISTINCTLY HEARD, "HUNGRY." 172 00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:58,576 [grunting] 173 00:06:58,576 --> 00:07:01,010 LADIES. - HI. 174 00:07:01,010 --> 00:07:02,543 I'M SIGOURNEY. 175 00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:03,776 both: OHH. 176 00:07:03,776 --> 00:07:06,543 - I'M DEBBIE, AND I'M SO HORNY. 177 00:07:06,543 --> 00:07:08,643 [high-pitched] both: OHHH. 178 00:07:08,643 --> 00:07:10,276 - I HEARD "SIGOURNEY." 179 00:07:10,276 --> 00:07:11,643 - HEY, MRS. BRANDO. 180 00:07:11,643 --> 00:07:14,343 THANKS FOR COMING TO HELP ME PICK OUT A HAIRSTYLE. 181 00:07:14,343 --> 00:07:16,110 YOU ALWAYS LOOK SO HOT. 182 00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:17,476 - OH, THANKS. 183 00:07:17,476 --> 00:07:20,710 YOU KNOW, WHILE I WAS WAITING, I FOUND THE PERFECT STYLE. 184 00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:23,210 YOU KNOW, WE'LL TEASE IT UP, DO A LITTLE FRENCH FLUFF, 185 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,976 AND STICK A BIG POUF ON IT. 186 00:07:24,976 --> 00:07:26,543 - UGH! - WHAT? JUST MESSING. 187 00:07:26,543 --> 00:07:28,276 JERSEY'S NOT ALL WHORES AND STEROIDS. 188 00:07:28,276 --> 00:07:29,776 [laughter] 189 00:07:29,776 --> 00:07:31,710 COME ON, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY GIRL. 190 00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:35,310 OH, YOUR TEACHER MS. TEETS IS HERE. 191 00:07:35,310 --> 00:07:37,410 - DAMN IT, I LOOK LIKE A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH. 192 00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:38,443 [sniffs] 193 00:07:38,443 --> 00:07:41,110 AND I SMELL LIKE ROASTED CHICKEN. 194 00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:42,910 CAN I GET A PEANUT BUTTER AND ROASTED CHICKEN SANDWICH? 195 00:07:42,910 --> 00:07:46,743 [cheering] 196 00:07:46,743 --> 00:07:49,810 - [sneezing] 197 00:07:49,810 --> 00:07:52,010 SORRY, THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. 198 00:07:52,010 --> 00:07:55,010 [eerie tribal music] 199 00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:59,610 * * 200 00:07:59,610 --> 00:08:02,776 - ARE YOU MY WOLF GUIDE FROM THE SPIRIT WORLD? 201 00:08:02,776 --> 00:08:07,143 - NAH, MAN, I'M YOUR BEER GUIDE FROM MODESTO, WHOO-HOO! 202 00:08:07,143 --> 00:08:09,143 - [slurping] 203 00:08:09,143 --> 00:08:10,276 - AHH. 204 00:08:10,276 --> 00:08:12,110 - MY PAPA LOST HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE, 205 00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:14,710 SO I USE DRIVING HIM OUT HERE AS AN EXCUSE 206 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:17,510 TO PARTY MY TITS OFF. 207 00:08:17,510 --> 00:08:18,776 MM. 208 00:08:18,776 --> 00:08:20,143 [pants fabric stretching] 209 00:08:20,143 --> 00:08:21,310 - OH, SORRY. 210 00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:23,276 SOMETIMES NAKED WOMEN HAVE THIS EFFECT ON ME. 211 00:08:23,276 --> 00:08:25,110 PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M A MONSTER. 212 00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:27,610 - OH, IT'S A TOTALLY NATURAL RESPONSE, 213 00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:30,943 ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE SIPPING ON STUFF THIS PURE. 214 00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:33,910 - MM, WHAT FLAVOR IS THIS AGAIN? 215 00:08:33,910 --> 00:08:36,276 - TRIPPIN' BALLS FLAVOR, BABY. 216 00:08:36,276 --> 00:08:38,776 [trance-like drumming music] - OOH. 217 00:08:38,776 --> 00:08:41,310 - NOW THE ONLY THING NOT NATURAL 218 00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:43,143 IS THAT YOU HAVE TO HIDE YOUR FEELINGS 219 00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:46,776 UNDER ALL THOSE UPTIGHT CIVILIAN CLOTHES. 220 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,476 YOU'VE GOT TO LET YOUR FREAK-CHUB FLY. 221 00:08:49,476 --> 00:08:51,476 TAKE THOSE COTTON SHACKLES OFF 222 00:08:51,476 --> 00:08:53,876 AND WE'LL RUB EACH OTHER'S SOULS OUT. 223 00:08:53,876 --> 00:08:57,843 [clothes ripping] 224 00:08:57,843 --> 00:09:02,143 - THE TRAINING WHEELS ARE OFF! 225 00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:07,110 - SO I STARTED SURFING WHEN I WAS ABOUT SIX. 226 00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:09,310 TOOK SOME LESSONS, ENTERED A FEW TOURNAMENTS. 227 00:09:09,310 --> 00:09:10,610 - [giggling] I LOVE YOUR STORIES. 228 00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:13,510 LET'S KISS. 229 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:15,343 - WHEE! 230 00:09:15,343 --> 00:09:17,243 THE MOST WONDERFUL THING ABOUT MONDOS IS 231 00:09:17,243 --> 00:09:18,543 * I'M THE ONLY ONE. * 232 00:09:18,543 --> 00:09:19,843 HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! 233 00:09:19,843 --> 00:09:22,976 WOODIE, THE COLORS ARE TALKING TO ME. 234 00:09:22,976 --> 00:09:25,210 I CAN SEE THEM IN MY EARS. 235 00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:27,310 - WHAT WAS IN THAT DRINK, BRO? 236 00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:29,876 - SAME THING THAT'S IN THIS ONE, I GUESS. 237 00:09:29,876 --> 00:09:31,776 [chuckles] MM. 238 00:09:31,776 --> 00:09:34,110 GET YOUR DONG OUT, BRO! - [grunts] 239 00:09:34,110 --> 00:09:36,843 - DO NOT MAKE ME LOOK BAD IN FRONT OF THESE GODDESSES. 240 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,976 - DUDE, YOU'RE TAKING OFF MY UNDERWEAR. 241 00:09:38,976 --> 00:09:41,276 YOU'RE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK BAD ENOUGH. 242 00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:43,876 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NOW WE CAN'T GET DRESSED! 243 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:45,876 - THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT, WOOD. 244 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:48,943 WE'RE NEVER GETTING DRESSED EVER AGAIN! 245 00:09:48,943 --> 00:09:52,310 [cheering] 246 00:09:52,310 --> 00:09:56,176 * * 247 00:09:56,176 --> 00:09:57,710 - LOSE AGAIN! HA-HA! 248 00:09:57,710 --> 00:10:00,943 JUST NOT YOUR DAY, FAKE-AHONTAS. 249 00:10:00,943 --> 00:10:03,743 [cell phone camera clicks] 250 00:10:03,743 --> 00:10:05,543 - MONDO, YOU'VE GOT TO GET IT TOGETHER. 251 00:10:05,543 --> 00:10:07,010 EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT YOU. 252 00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:09,376 - OF COURSE THEY'RE LOOKING AT ME. 253 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,976 I'M PERFECT IN EVERY WAY! 254 00:10:11,976 --> 00:10:14,976 [donkey braying] - IT'S THE COPS! 255 00:10:14,976 --> 00:10:18,110 - WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, ROOKIE? 256 00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:21,210 YOU DON'T GO INTO A SYNAGOGUE WITHOUT A YARMULKE, DO YOU? 257 00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:24,410 DO YOU, BOY? 258 00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:27,843 - NICE ASS. DONKEY'S NOT SO BAD EITHER. 259 00:10:27,843 --> 00:10:31,676 [drunken laughter turns into coughing] 260 00:10:31,676 --> 00:10:34,210 - SON, NUDITY AIN'T FOR EVERYONE. 261 00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:37,376 WHY DON'T YOU PUT THESE GROCERIES BACK IN THE CUPBOARD? 262 00:10:37,376 --> 00:10:39,843 - YOU BETTER PUT YOUR GROCERIES IN MY CUPBOARD. 263 00:10:39,843 --> 00:10:41,943 NOBODY CAN TELL ME WHERE TO BE NAKED. 264 00:10:41,943 --> 00:10:43,543 I'LL BE NAKED WHEREVER I WANT. 265 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,410 HERE, HERE, EVERY-DAMN-WHERE. 266 00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:47,743 - NUDITY? 267 00:10:47,743 --> 00:10:49,676 WE'RE JUST HERE BECAUSE YOUR BONFIRE WAS OUT OF CONTROL. 268 00:10:49,676 --> 00:10:52,776 - [laughs] YOU CAN'T CONTROL THIS MESS! 269 00:10:52,776 --> 00:10:56,476 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN SUCCEED WHERE DENIM HAS FAILED? 270 00:10:56,476 --> 00:10:59,576 THEY'LL NEVER CLOTHE US ALIVE! 271 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,676 NEVER! [cheering] 272 00:11:01,676 --> 00:11:02,743 [conch trumpeting] 273 00:11:02,743 --> 00:11:06,676 - HEY, COPPERS! BORN NAKED, DIE NAKED! 274 00:11:06,676 --> 00:11:09,676 [rock music] 275 00:11:09,676 --> 00:11:12,010 * * 276 00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:16,610 - [shouting] 277 00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:18,976 - [sighs happily] 278 00:11:18,976 --> 00:11:20,243 [donkey sniffs] 279 00:11:20,243 --> 00:11:21,243 [chomping sound] - [shrieks] 280 00:11:21,243 --> 00:11:22,610 THAT'S NOT A CARROT. 281 00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:25,610 DON'T YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE MESSING WITH? 282 00:11:25,610 --> 00:11:26,610 WAH! 283 00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:28,810 [deep voice] I AM FARTANYAN. 284 00:11:28,810 --> 00:11:30,976 - [howling] 285 00:11:30,976 --> 00:11:33,643 SIDE EFFECTS OF WITHDRAWAL MAY INCLUDE RENAL FAILURE, 286 00:11:33,643 --> 00:11:36,543 TESTICULAR SUCCESS, OVERACTIVE GAYDAR. 287 00:11:36,543 --> 00:11:39,443 [shrieks] OVERACTIVE GAYDAR! 288 00:11:39,443 --> 00:11:40,443 [electronic beeping] 289 00:11:40,443 --> 00:11:44,443 BOOP, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP. 290 00:11:44,443 --> 00:11:47,543 [screaming] I'M SO CONFUSED! 291 00:11:47,543 --> 00:11:50,410 - BRO, WADSKA'S GONE A.W.O.L. 292 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:54,376 - ALL FOR ONE, ONE FOR ALL. 293 00:11:54,376 --> 00:11:57,743 TALLY-HO, TURD BURGLARS. 294 00:11:57,743 --> 00:11:59,376 - [maniacal laughter] 295 00:11:59,376 --> 00:12:02,543 I'M GOING OFF THE GRID. 296 00:12:02,543 --> 00:12:06,243 - YEAH, THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. 297 00:12:06,243 --> 00:12:07,543 WE'RE GOING TO BE ABOUT FIVE-- 298 00:12:07,543 --> 00:12:10,110 [gunshot] MAYBE TEN MINUTES LATE. 299 00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:11,776 - WHAT ARE YOU BOYS IN FOR? 300 00:12:11,776 --> 00:12:12,910 - DONKEY-PUNCHING. 301 00:12:12,910 --> 00:12:16,276 - ON A SCHOOL NIGHT? YOU BOYS ARE BUCK WILD. 302 00:12:16,276 --> 00:12:17,810 - JEENA'S FREAKING OUT. WHERE'S WADSKA? 303 00:12:17,810 --> 00:12:19,843 WE'RE NEVER GOING TO GET HIM TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER BY 8:00. 304 00:12:19,843 --> 00:12:22,643 - HE WAS ACTING MAD CRAZY WHEN HE TOOK OFF, BRO, 305 00:12:22,643 --> 00:12:23,876 EVEN FOR WADSKA. 306 00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:25,176 - WITHOUT THOSE PILLS, HE'S OUT THERE 307 00:12:25,176 --> 00:12:27,410 TICKING LIKE A PIPE BOMB FULL OF NINJA KNIVES, 308 00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:28,610 AND IT'S OUR FAULT, MAN. 309 00:12:28,610 --> 00:12:29,943 - MY FAULT? 310 00:12:29,943 --> 00:12:31,776 IF YOU HADN'T TURNED INTO THE NERD OF THE FLIES, 311 00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:33,276 EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE. 312 00:12:33,276 --> 00:12:35,543 - HEY, YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A SQUIRRELLY WHITE NERDY KID, 313 00:12:35,543 --> 00:12:36,776 RIGHT, ABOUT THIS TALL? 314 00:12:36,776 --> 00:12:37,976 - YOU'VE SEEN WADSKA? 315 00:12:37,976 --> 00:12:40,276 - MY BOY DUBSKA? HELL YEAH. 316 00:12:40,276 --> 00:12:41,510 HEY, HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE, 317 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:44,543 I'LL TAKE YOU TO HIM. 318 00:12:44,543 --> 00:12:48,876 - UM, OFFICER, CAN I GET A REFILL? 319 00:12:48,876 --> 00:12:50,010 - [screams] 320 00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:52,243 GOD, THAT COFFEE IS SO COLD! 321 00:12:52,243 --> 00:12:53,910 I HATE COLD COFFEE. 322 00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:55,876 [phone rings] 323 00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:58,210 - [sighs] OKAY, I'M OFFICIALLY WORRIED. 324 00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:00,910 I HOPE IT WASN'T A MISTAKE TO TRUST MONDO WITH MY BROTHER. 325 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,176 - DON'T TRUST ANY MAN. I'VE HEARD IT ALL. 326 00:13:03,176 --> 00:13:04,643 "I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER," 327 00:13:04,643 --> 00:13:06,343 "THAT RED LIGHT'S NOT A CAMERA," 328 00:13:06,343 --> 00:13:08,610 "THIS ISN'T PART OF A SEXUAL SCAVENGER HUNT," 329 00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:10,643 AND "YOU CAN'T GET PREGNANT ON A ROLLER COASTER." 330 00:13:10,643 --> 00:13:12,210 - EH, I'VE HEARD THAT ONE TOO. 331 00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:13,910 BUT YOU CAN TRUST MONDO, HONEY. 332 00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:16,576 I'M SURE EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECTLY FINE. 333 00:13:16,576 --> 00:13:17,876 - [panting] 334 00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:20,410 - ALL RIGHT, T.I., WE GOT YOU OUT. 335 00:13:20,410 --> 00:13:22,210 NOW WHERE'S WADSKA? 336 00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:24,143 - WHO-SKA? 337 00:13:24,143 --> 00:13:26,110 [laughs] OH, MAN, I MADE THAT SKYPE UP. 338 00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:28,676 I JUST DESCRIBED EVERY WHITE KID I EVER SEEN. 339 00:13:28,676 --> 00:13:30,010 YOU WANT TO FIND A SQUIRRELY WHITE KID, 340 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,210 WHY DON'T YOU STAKE OUT 341 00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:33,376 A MOTHER[bleep]IN' CHESTER CHEESE'S? 342 00:13:33,376 --> 00:13:36,876 [laughs] SUCKER LITTLE WHITE KIDS. 343 00:13:36,876 --> 00:13:38,776 - THAT GUY WAS NOT HELPFUL. 344 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:39,776 - [sighs] COME ON. 345 00:13:39,776 --> 00:13:40,910 WE GOT TO FIND WADSKA. 346 00:13:40,910 --> 00:13:43,443 [car horn honks] both: 'SUP, MCNUBBINS? 347 00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:45,710 - WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET SOME CLOTHES. 348 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,643 [muzak playing] 349 00:13:49,643 --> 00:13:51,543 - BEAT IT, WE WERE HERE FIRST. 350 00:13:51,543 --> 00:13:54,643 - WHERE THE HELL CAN WE GET CLOTHES RIGHT NOW 351 00:13:54,643 --> 00:13:56,310 WITH NO CASH, NO SKILLS, 352 00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:59,476 AND NO HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA? 353 00:13:59,476 --> 00:14:02,176 - CLOTHES? HELL, I'LL EVEN GIVE YOU BOTH GUNS. 354 00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:03,810 LET'S GET YOU MAGGOTS SIGNED UP. 355 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,376 NOW I WOULDN'T BE DOING MY JOB 356 00:14:05,376 --> 00:14:06,776 IF I DIDN'T BRING UP THE FACT THAT... 357 00:14:06,776 --> 00:14:10,210 WELL, YOU BOYS ARE BOTH NAKED AND HANDCUFFED. 358 00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:11,976 YOU GOT A LITTLE TROUBLE WITH THE LAW? 359 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,743 - UH... 360 00:14:13,743 --> 00:14:15,276 - OVER OR UNDER MANSLAUGHTER? 361 00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:17,110 - UM, UNDER? 362 00:14:17,110 --> 00:14:18,443 - [sighs] AW, HELL. 363 00:14:18,443 --> 00:14:19,443 WE'LL TAKE YOU ANYWAY. 364 00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:20,776 [gunshots] 365 00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:24,110 NOW YOU BOYS JUST SHOW BACK UP HERE TOMORROW 366 00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:26,676 AND WE'LL START TURNING YOU INTO MEN. 367 00:14:26,676 --> 00:14:29,110 OR AT LEAST INTO BOYS THAT AREN'T AFRAID TO DIE. 368 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:33,610 WAIT, BOTH YOUR NAMES ARE DIRK KIRK TURKPATRICK? 369 00:14:33,610 --> 00:14:35,176 - MM...YEAH. 370 00:14:35,176 --> 00:14:37,210 - BUT EVERYBODY CALLS US TURK. 371 00:14:39,843 --> 00:14:41,943 - MAYBE I SHOULD JUST CALL ONE MORE TIME. 372 00:14:41,943 --> 00:14:43,310 - ENOUGH WITH THAT ALREADY. 373 00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:46,143 HERE, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC, HONEY. 374 00:14:46,143 --> 00:14:49,310 - THANKS, THEY DO A MEAN NECK SHAVE HERE. 375 00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:51,943 - HUH? 376 00:14:51,943 --> 00:14:52,943 NAH. 377 00:14:52,943 --> 00:14:55,610 - ARRESTED, ESCAPED FROM JAIL, 378 00:14:55,610 --> 00:14:58,410 RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS WITH GUNS. 379 00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:00,110 WADSKA WOULD HAVE LOVED THIS. 380 00:15:00,110 --> 00:15:02,676 - YEAH, HE WOULD HAVE KILLED SOMEBODY BY NOW. 381 00:15:02,676 --> 00:15:05,210 - MAN, ALL THIS TIME I'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT MYSELF 382 00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:06,410 AND WHAT JEENA'S GOING TO SAY, 383 00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:07,943 BUT WHAT IF SOMETHING REALLY HAPPENED TO HIM? 384 00:15:07,943 --> 00:15:10,376 WHAT--WHAT IF HE'S HURT OR DEAD? 385 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:11,610 [wolf howling] 386 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:13,343 [drumming] THERE'S SOMETHING VERY FAMILIAR 387 00:15:13,343 --> 00:15:14,876 ABOUT THAT HAT. 388 00:15:14,876 --> 00:15:19,276 - HEY, I HEARD THE PIGS AT NASA NEVER WENT TO THE MOON. 389 00:15:19,276 --> 00:15:22,243 HEH, THEY LANDED ON CORNELIUS-88. 390 00:15:22,243 --> 00:15:23,710 - CORNELIUS-88! 391 00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:25,343 THAT'S THE PLANET WADSKA MADE UP. 392 00:15:25,343 --> 00:15:28,276 - HEY, BUDDY, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT HAT? 393 00:15:28,276 --> 00:15:31,776 START TALKING, LOS LOBOS. 394 00:15:31,776 --> 00:15:34,843 HEY, GUYS. WHY DID-- WHY DID EVERYBODY STOP DRUMMING? 395 00:15:34,843 --> 00:15:37,443 - YEAH, WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR TROUBLE, MR. HIPPIE, SIR. 396 00:15:37,443 --> 00:15:39,476 - I'D HAVE AN EASIER TIME BELIEVING THAT 397 00:15:39,476 --> 00:15:41,843 IF YOU WEREN'T CARRYING PISTOLS. 398 00:15:41,843 --> 00:15:43,310 - WHAT, THESE? HERE, TAKE THEM. 399 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:44,376 SEE, WE'RE JUST LOOKING FOR OUR FRIEND. 400 00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:45,710 WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN HIM. 401 00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:48,610 - WE HATE COPS' FRIENDS EVEN MORE THAN WE HATE COPS. 402 00:15:48,610 --> 00:15:49,876 - WHAT? HEY, WE'RE NOT COPS. 403 00:15:49,876 --> 00:15:52,743 - OH, YEAH? HIT THIS IF YOU'RE NOT A COP. 404 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:54,110 - DUDE, WE'RE NOT EVEN DRESSED LIKE COPS. 405 00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:55,376 THESE ARE ARMY CLOTHES. 406 00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:57,410 - THEN SMOKE THIS IF YOU'RE NOT AN ARMY. 407 00:15:57,410 --> 00:15:58,943 [phone rings] 408 00:15:58,943 --> 00:15:59,943 - FINE, WHATEVER. 409 00:15:59,943 --> 00:16:01,810 SPARK IT UP, MCCONAUGHEY. 410 00:16:01,810 --> 00:16:03,143 [exhales] 411 00:16:03,143 --> 00:16:04,376 WOODIE, DID YOU HEAR THAT? 412 00:16:04,376 --> 00:16:06,110 AT LEAST NOW WE KNOW HE'S ALIVE. 413 00:16:06,110 --> 00:16:08,476 DUDE, YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY INHALE THAT, DID YOU? 414 00:16:08,476 --> 00:16:11,276 - [exhaling, coughing] 415 00:16:11,276 --> 00:16:13,276 WAIT, WHICH ONE'S "INHALE" AGAIN? 416 00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:14,310 - WOODIE, SNAP OUT OF IT! 417 00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:15,410 I NEED YOU, MAN! 418 00:16:15,410 --> 00:16:16,410 WE'VE GOT TO FIND WADSKA 419 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,010 AND GET HIM TO THAT PHOTO SHOOT. 420 00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,110 - ALL RIGHT, BURRITO. 421 00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:22,010 I'M WITH YOU. 422 00:16:22,010 --> 00:16:24,376 IS THAT WADSKA'S LUCKY HORSESHOE? 423 00:16:24,376 --> 00:16:25,910 - NAH, THAT'S JUST REGULAR BUM STUFF. 424 00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:27,443 [conch shell trumpeting] 425 00:16:27,443 --> 00:16:29,976 - CHECK IT OUT. 426 00:16:29,976 --> 00:16:32,343 - AN ANATOMICALLY EXAGGERATED REPLICA! 427 00:16:32,343 --> 00:16:36,143 WE MUST BE CLOSE. 428 00:16:36,143 --> 00:16:38,176 I THINK WE'RE HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. 429 00:16:38,176 --> 00:16:39,910 WADSKA'S SHIRT! 430 00:16:39,910 --> 00:16:41,876 HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT SHIRT? 431 00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:44,010 - TRADED A LITTLE WEIRD KID FOR IT. 432 00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:45,643 - TRADED HIM FOR WHAT, MAN? 433 00:16:45,643 --> 00:16:46,910 - FLARE GUN. 434 00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:49,743 [flare gun explodes] 435 00:16:49,743 --> 00:16:50,676 - WADSKA! 436 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,776 - AH, MY GENTLE MATES. 437 00:16:52,776 --> 00:16:56,176 I SEE YOU RECEIVED MY INVITATION FLARE. 438 00:16:56,176 --> 00:16:59,576 - DUDE, WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU SHOOTING OFF FLARES? 439 00:16:59,576 --> 00:17:02,410 WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL US? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 440 00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:03,776 I'VE BEEN CALLING, TEXTING, 441 00:17:03,776 --> 00:17:05,910 AND PICTURE-MAILING YOU ALL NIGHT. 442 00:17:05,910 --> 00:17:09,243 YOU NEVER ANSWERED. 443 00:17:09,243 --> 00:17:12,143 OH, BESIDES, CELL PHONES ARE SO LAST WEEK. 444 00:17:12,143 --> 00:17:14,376 FLARES ARE WHERE IT'S AT NOW. 445 00:17:14,376 --> 00:17:17,010 PIZZA. [gunshot] 446 00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:20,176 - SIR, WILL YOU STOP ORDERING PIZZAS LIKE THAT? 447 00:17:20,176 --> 00:17:21,643 THERE'S A LINE. 448 00:17:21,643 --> 00:17:25,010 - GUYS, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE NIGHT I HAD. 449 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:27,610 IT HAS BEEN SPECTACULAR. 450 00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:30,810 YOU HAVE TO MEET MY BELOVED WANDA. 451 00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:32,810 - WE FOUND HIM CRINGING 452 00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:35,243 LIKE A MAGNIFICENT UNMEDICATED BEAST, 453 00:17:35,243 --> 00:17:38,343 CLUTCHING A FLARE GUN, IN OUR RECYCLING BIN. 454 00:17:38,343 --> 00:17:41,443 HE COULDN'T REMEMBER WHERE HE'D BEEN OR HOW HE'D GOTTEN HERE. 455 00:17:41,443 --> 00:17:44,610 BUT LUCKILY, HE AND I ARE ON THE SAME COCKTAIL 456 00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:46,376 OF NINE DIFFERENT MEDS. 457 00:17:46,376 --> 00:17:49,543 SO WE HAD HIS BEAUTIFUL MIND ONLINE IN NO TIME. 458 00:17:49,543 --> 00:17:52,976 - OH, AND THESE GALS ARE HER SISTERS, KEESHA AND PLATINUM. 459 00:17:52,976 --> 00:17:54,876 I'VE BEEN TELLING THEM ALL ABOUT YOU. 460 00:17:54,876 --> 00:17:57,476 - CHESTER CHEESE'S IS THE BEST PLACE 461 00:17:57,476 --> 00:18:00,243 FOR LADIES LIKE US TO FIND SOME CAUCASIAN STRANGE. 462 00:18:00,243 --> 00:18:04,110 - COME ON IN, GUYS, WE ARE GOING TO PARTY DOWN. 463 00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:07,510 - THERE'S NO TIME. 464 00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:10,510 [light pop music] 465 00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:16,443 * * 466 00:18:18,276 --> 00:18:20,476 - FLARE ME, WHITE PRINCE. 467 00:18:23,776 --> 00:18:24,776 - MY FIRST KISS, MY FIRST KISS, MY FIRST KISS. 468 00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:25,910 - DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR? 469 00:18:25,910 --> 00:18:27,776 - CRAP, IT'S BACK AT RANCHO NUDERO. 470 00:18:27,776 --> 00:18:28,810 WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. 471 00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:30,010 [car horn beeps] 472 00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:31,776 - WHITE BOYS! WHAT THE HELL Y'ALL UP TO? 473 00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:34,443 JUST HANGING OUT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD BEING WHITE? 474 00:18:34,443 --> 00:18:36,776 [laughs] I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU. 475 00:18:36,776 --> 00:18:39,276 - OH, WHERE'D YOU GET THIS FANCY CAR, DUDE? 476 00:18:39,276 --> 00:18:41,943 - TRADED THIS BUNCH OF DRUM-MURDERING HIPPIE KIDS 477 00:18:41,943 --> 00:18:43,576 SOME WEED FOR A COUPLE OF GUNS. 478 00:18:43,576 --> 00:18:45,476 - AND YOU TRADED THE GUNS FOR THE CAR? 479 00:18:45,476 --> 00:18:46,976 - YEAH, BASICALLY. 480 00:18:46,976 --> 00:18:48,110 [thumping from the trunk] 481 00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:50,143 - SO LONG, GAY BOYS. 482 00:18:50,143 --> 00:18:52,376 - YOU LITTLE DUDES NEED A RIDE OR SOMETHING? 483 00:18:52,376 --> 00:18:53,610 - I'D TAKE A RIDE FROM A SERIAL KILLER RIGHT NOW. 484 00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,110 [sirens wailing] 485 00:18:55,110 --> 00:18:57,210 - DON'T WORRY, FARTANYAN, I AIN'T THAT KIND OF CRAZY. 486 00:18:57,210 --> 00:18:58,643 WAIT. 487 00:18:58,643 --> 00:19:00,910 HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU GOTS TO KILL TO BE A SERIAL KILLER AGAIN? 488 00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:04,410 [tires squeal] 489 00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,743 YOU CAN REALLY HAUL ASS NOW THAT THEY REPAVED 490 00:19:06,743 --> 00:19:08,576 THIS STRETCH OF SIDEWALK HERE. 491 00:19:08,576 --> 00:19:11,010 - THERE'S THE PORTRAIT STUDIO UP AHEAD! 492 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:13,443 - HEY, Y'ALL BOYS MIND IF I KIND OF DON'T PULL OVER? 493 00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:15,110 I'M IN A BIT OF A HURRY HERE. 494 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:17,110 - UM, CAN YOU GET IT UNDER 30 AT LEAST? 495 00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:19,776 - I AIN'T MAKING NO PROMISES. 496 00:19:19,776 --> 00:19:23,610 [grunting] 497 00:19:23,610 --> 00:19:25,010 [clock tolling] 498 00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:27,443 - I CAN JUST TAKE A FEW PICTURES OF YOU GUYS, IF YOU WANT. 499 00:19:27,443 --> 00:19:31,176 - NO, IT WOULDN'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT MY LITTLE BROTHER. 500 00:19:31,176 --> 00:19:33,143 [grunting] 501 00:19:33,143 --> 00:19:36,910 - NEVER...LEAVE A MAN...BEHIND. 502 00:19:40,543 --> 00:19:42,743 [camera flashes] 503 00:19:42,743 --> 00:19:45,110 - I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU AGAIN, MONDO, 504 00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:46,376 FOR COMING THROUGH. 505 00:19:46,376 --> 00:19:48,010 - TOLD YOU. 506 00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:50,743 - I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND THAT I DON'T HAVE BRACES ANYMORE, 507 00:19:50,743 --> 00:19:54,010 OR THAT MY MOSQUITO BITES GOT A LITTLE BIGGER. 508 00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:58,576 * * 509 00:19:58,576 --> 00:20:00,943 - HEY, PUT ME DOWN, YOU JARHEADS. 510 00:20:00,943 --> 00:20:02,410 [groans] - THAT'S ONE DOWN. 511 00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,710 NOW WE'VE GOT TO FIND THIS OTHER DIRK KIRK TURKPATRICK. 512 00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:07,576 - WELL, THIS ALL JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT NO MATTER 513 00:20:07,576 --> 00:20:09,510 HOW MUCH FUN AN ADVENTURE SOUNDS 514 00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:10,710 LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE, 515 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,976 STUFF CAN JUST GO REALLY, REALLY WRONG. 516 00:20:12,976 --> 00:20:14,210 - YOU SAID IT, BURRITO. 517 00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:17,510 EVERYTHING THAT'S AWESOME ALSO SUCKS. 518 00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:19,943 - YEAH, BUT EVERYTHING THAT SUCKS 519 00:20:19,943 --> 00:20:21,843 CAN ALSO BE PRETTY AWESOME. 520 00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:29,776 * *