1 00:00:03,276 --> 00:00:05,910 - AW, MAN, CASA'S GOING TO THE DANCE 2 00:00:05,910 --> 00:00:07,143 WITH BJ KUNTZ. 3 00:00:07,143 --> 00:00:08,743 - I THOUGHT HE LIKED HJ. 4 00:00:08,743 --> 00:00:11,810 - NOBODY WOULD CHOOSE HJ OVER BJ. 5 00:00:11,810 --> 00:00:13,076 - HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING OUT ABOUT 6 00:00:13,076 --> 00:00:15,110 ALL THESE DATES TO THE PROM? 7 00:00:15,110 --> 00:00:17,776 - THAT SITE WADSKA SET UP-- HIGH SCHOOL MASTER DATER. 8 00:00:17,776 --> 00:00:21,176 HE GIVES SUPER-INSTANT UPDATES ON EVERYONE'S PROM STATUS. 9 00:00:21,176 --> 00:00:22,710 - TISSUES? WHAT DO THEY THINK? 10 00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:24,643 I'LL BE AT HOME CRYING ALL NIGHT? 11 00:00:24,643 --> 00:00:26,110 - UH...NO. 12 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:27,343 - MMM. 13 00:00:27,343 --> 00:00:29,810 - I CAN'T BELIEVE JEENA'S STILL WITH TURK. 14 00:00:29,810 --> 00:00:32,543 LATELY I'VE BEEN HAVING THESE REOCCURRING FANTASIES 15 00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:35,976 WHERE I'M DANCING WITH HER. 16 00:00:35,976 --> 00:00:38,976 [mellow dance music] 17 00:00:38,976 --> 00:00:43,976 * * 18 00:00:43,976 --> 00:00:45,343 AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW, 19 00:00:45,343 --> 00:00:48,543 I'M COVERED IN BLOOD, CRYING INTO A PLATE OF RAVIOLI. 20 00:00:48,543 --> 00:00:50,143 - THAT'S TERRIBLE. - NO! 21 00:00:50,143 --> 00:00:53,010 IT WAS LOBSTER, WITH A NICE BUTTER-SAGE SAUCE. 22 00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:54,543 - PLUG YOUR LITTLE PLEASURE HOLES, PIGLETS! 23 00:00:54,543 --> 00:00:57,476 TODAY WE'RE GONNA HAVE A VERY SERIOUS TALK ABOUT ALCOHOL, 24 00:00:57,476 --> 00:00:58,743 AND HOW IT'S SUCH A GINORMOUS PROBLEM 25 00:00:58,743 --> 00:01:00,110 AT SCHOOL DANCES. 26 00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:01,376 IT CAN MAKE YOU HAVE SEX, 27 00:01:01,376 --> 00:01:03,476 WHICH COULD LEAD TO CONTRACTING A DEBILITATING DISEASE 28 00:01:03,476 --> 00:01:05,310 CALLED "BABIES." 29 00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:07,310 LITTLE DEE-DEE HERE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE. 30 00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:09,876 - I'M FIXIN' TO NAME IT MALIBU. 31 00:01:09,876 --> 00:01:12,110 IT'S A RUM, IT'S A CAR, 32 00:01:12,110 --> 00:01:15,143 AND A CLASSY PLACE TO PARK YOUR RV. 33 00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:18,110 - TO ILLUSTRATE, WE'RE GONNA WATCH AND EDUCATIONAL VIDEO, 34 00:01:18,110 --> 00:01:19,643 RECENTLY CONVERTED TO 3-D. 35 00:01:19,643 --> 00:01:22,810 - CHILDBIRTH: FROM CONCEPTION TO DIVORCE. 36 00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:25,810 - [groaning] - PUSH. PUSH. 37 00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:27,576 [wet squishy sounds] [all gasp] 38 00:01:27,576 --> 00:01:28,676 - HOLY LORD. 39 00:01:28,676 --> 00:01:32,643 - WELCOME TO THIS WORLD, MONTGOMERY BRANDO. 40 00:01:32,643 --> 00:01:33,643 [baby coos] 41 00:01:33,643 --> 00:01:36,110 [laughter] 42 00:01:36,110 --> 00:01:39,410 [upbeat rock music] 43 00:01:39,410 --> 00:01:43,743 * * 44 00:01:43,743 --> 00:01:45,810 - MOM, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME 45 00:01:45,810 --> 00:01:49,010 ABOUT THE CHILDBIRTH VIDEO? - YOU SAW THAT? 46 00:01:49,010 --> 00:01:50,910 - I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EMBARRASSED. 47 00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:53,176 - WHAT ABOUT THE TIME WHEN YOU FARTED ON SANTA'S LAP? 48 00:01:53,176 --> 00:01:56,343 - I WAS 13! AND YOU KNOW WHAT EGGNOG DOES TO ME. 49 00:01:56,343 --> 00:01:58,110 DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT! 50 00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:00,276 - I WAS A POOR, SINGLE MOM BACK THEN. 51 00:02:00,276 --> 00:02:01,676 THINGS WERE HARD. 52 00:02:01,676 --> 00:02:03,276 [entry bells jingle] 53 00:02:06,143 --> 00:02:08,110 - MY ANGELS! MY [bleep] ANGELS! 54 00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:10,743 - THEN THE LOCAL COLLEGE OFFERED ME GOOD MONEY 55 00:02:10,743 --> 00:02:13,710 TO BE IN THAT VIDEO AND PAY FOR ALL OF MY HOSPITAL BILLS. 56 00:02:13,710 --> 00:02:15,643 I DID IT SO I COULD SURVIVE. 57 00:02:15,643 --> 00:02:17,510 SO WE COULD SURVIVE. 58 00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:21,110 - WOW, I HAD NO IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS FOR YOU. 59 00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:24,310 - BUT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT BECAUSE I GOT TO HAVE YOU. 60 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,976 - MA, ARE THERE ANY OTHER EMBARRASSING VIDEOS 61 00:02:26,976 --> 00:02:28,310 I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT? 62 00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:29,910 - WELL, ONE, BUT YOU KNOW, 63 00:02:29,910 --> 00:02:32,343 IT WAS JUST USED TO PAY FOR YOUR SPEECH THERAPY. 64 00:02:32,343 --> 00:02:36,343 - * I'M A WIDDLE POOPER SHORT AND STOUT * 65 00:02:36,343 --> 00:02:39,943 * I EAT PASTHCETTI AND MEATBALLSTH COME OUT * 66 00:02:39,943 --> 00:02:41,576 [laughing] 67 00:02:41,576 --> 00:02:43,710 [air horn blares] 68 00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:45,743 - ALL HANDS ON DECK AS I REVEAL TO YOU 69 00:02:45,743 --> 00:02:48,176 THE THEME FOR THIS YEAR'S JUNIOR PROM. 70 00:02:48,176 --> 00:02:50,543 "JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG." 71 00:02:50,543 --> 00:02:52,110 all: BOO! 72 00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:53,143 [rip] 73 00:02:53,143 --> 00:02:54,910 [all cheer] 74 00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:57,643 all: JUST THE TIP! JUST THE TIP... 75 00:02:57,643 --> 00:03:00,476 - OLIVER. DICK NOODLE. 76 00:03:00,476 --> 00:03:02,443 - YOU KNOW IT'S NUDELL! 77 00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:04,543 - NUDELL. 78 00:03:04,543 --> 00:03:07,243 - SO, WADSKA, ARE YOU GOING TO THE DANCE? 79 00:03:07,243 --> 00:03:08,910 WOULDN'T MISS IT! 80 00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:10,810 THE SECOND LIFE SWEETHEARTS' JAMBOREE 81 00:03:10,810 --> 00:03:13,210 IS GONNA BE THE ONLINE EVENT OF THE SEASON! 82 00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:16,343 I EVEN PURCHASED A NEW GLADIATOR COMBAT TUXEDO, 83 00:03:16,343 --> 00:03:18,210 COMPLETE WITH ARMORED CUMMERBUND 84 00:03:18,210 --> 00:03:19,476 AND CANE-SWORD. 85 00:03:19,476 --> 00:03:21,376 - ACTUALLY, WE'RE GOING TO THE REAL DANCE 86 00:03:21,376 --> 00:03:22,910 WITH REAL DATES. 87 00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:24,643 - WE'RE NOT LOSERS. 88 00:03:24,643 --> 00:03:28,110 [laughter] 89 00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:30,243 - I WAS J.K.in' ALL OVER YOUR FACES! 90 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:32,543 OF COURSE I HAVE A REAL DATE. 91 00:03:32,543 --> 00:03:35,210 - IS SHE A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE? 92 00:03:35,210 --> 00:03:38,310 - [gasps] HOW DARE YOU! 93 00:03:38,310 --> 00:03:41,610 DAMN, NOW I NEED A PLAN "B." 94 00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,476 - I BEEN THINKING ABOUT OUR SPECIAL NIGHT, 95 00:03:43,476 --> 00:03:47,210 AND I GOT US A HOTEL ROOM AT THE ONE & DONE MOTOR LODGE. 96 00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:49,743 - OH, SWEET! WE'LL HAVE A KICKASS AFTER PARTY THERE. 97 00:03:49,743 --> 00:03:51,843 - OH, NO CAN DO, BABE. 98 00:03:51,843 --> 00:03:54,210 GOT A BIT OF A SCHEDULING CONFLICT. 99 00:03:54,210 --> 00:03:55,943 I WENT IN WITH CHESTER AND CASA. 100 00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:57,843 YOU AND I HAVE THE ROOM FROM 7:00 TO 9:00, 101 00:03:57,843 --> 00:03:59,843 AND THEN AGAIN FROM 2:00 TO 4:00. 102 00:03:59,843 --> 00:04:03,310 - TURK, ALL I WANTED WAS ONE ROMANTIC NIGHT. 103 00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,743 AND INSTEAD, YOU "SCHEDULE ME" FOR SEX 104 00:04:05,743 --> 00:04:07,476 IN A HOTEL ROOM, LIKE A PROSTITUTE. 105 00:04:07,476 --> 00:04:08,843 - AW, BABE, THAT'S NOT TRUE. 106 00:04:08,843 --> 00:04:10,210 YOU'RE NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS. 107 00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:12,643 YOU'RE DOING IT PRO-BONER. [laughs] 108 00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:18,376 - MY TAPIOCA! MY [bleep] TAPIOCA! 109 00:04:18,376 --> 00:04:21,176 - [crying] 110 00:04:21,176 --> 00:04:24,743 - I GOTTA GO TALK TO HER. 111 00:04:24,743 --> 00:04:26,010 - [crying] 112 00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:28,310 - DEE-DEE, ARE-- ARE YOU OKAY? 113 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,676 - WELL, LET'S SEE. 114 00:04:29,676 --> 00:04:32,576 I'M A BLOATED, LEAKING, STRETCH-MARKED PIG. 115 00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,410 MY BABY-DADDY DUMPED ME, NO ONE'S TAKING ME TO PROM, 116 00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:39,710 AND MY NIPPERS...LOOK...LIKE... BURNT...TATER TOTS! 117 00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:42,476 I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH. 118 00:04:42,476 --> 00:04:44,376 - REALLY? BECAUSE YOU'RE FAT? 119 00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:47,643 - NO. MY MOM WENT THROUGH IT ALONE TOO. 120 00:04:47,643 --> 00:04:50,743 - WELL, THANKS FOR TALKING TO ME, MONDO, 121 00:04:50,743 --> 00:04:53,110 BUT YOU CAN GO BACK TO YOUR FUN HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE 122 00:04:53,110 --> 00:04:54,576 WHILE I CONTEMPLATE MY RUINED LIFE 123 00:04:54,576 --> 00:04:57,443 AND EAT THIS TUREEN OF PICKLES. 124 00:04:59,876 --> 00:05:01,976 - HEY, DEE-DEE, YOU KNOW, 125 00:05:01,976 --> 00:05:04,810 I--I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO GO TO THE PROM WITH. 126 00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:06,210 - [gasps] REALLY? 127 00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:08,176 YOU'D WANNA GO WITH ME? 128 00:05:08,176 --> 00:05:10,110 OH, THANKS, MONDO. 129 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,976 I'D LOVE TO BE YOUR DATE. 130 00:05:14,476 --> 00:05:16,576 - DUDE, BREAKING NEWS! 131 00:05:16,576 --> 00:05:18,243 TURK AND JEENA JUST BROKE UP. 132 00:05:18,243 --> 00:05:20,210 YOU CAN TOTALLY GET IN THERE. 133 00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:21,810 - BA-EHHHHHH! 134 00:05:24,943 --> 00:05:28,576 - UHH! HOW WILL I EVER FIND A BEAUTIFUL GIRL 135 00:05:28,576 --> 00:05:30,543 ON A CALIFORNIA BEACH? 136 00:05:30,543 --> 00:05:33,410 OH, SHE LOOKS TOO MUCH LIKE A BOY. 137 00:05:33,410 --> 00:05:35,710 EW, SHE LOOKS TOO MUCH LIKE A GIRL! 138 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,543 THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! OOH! 139 00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:40,976 GREAT KELSO! 140 00:05:40,976 --> 00:05:45,343 IT'S TEN-TIME TEEN CHOICE AWARD NOMINEE MILA KUNIS! 141 00:05:45,343 --> 00:05:47,943 - IT'S HER. 142 00:05:47,943 --> 00:05:50,243 all: MILA! MILA! MILA! MILA! MILA! 143 00:05:52,243 --> 00:05:54,110 - REALLY? COME ON! 144 00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:55,876 I KNOW YOU GUYS NEED TO MAKE A LIVING, 145 00:05:55,876 --> 00:05:59,210 BUT I'M A HUMAN BEING, AND I'M ENTITLED TO SOME PRIVACY. 146 00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:00,643 - OH, SORRY, MISS KUNIS. 147 00:06:00,643 --> 00:06:03,810 YOUR WORDS HAVE TOUCHED OUR HEARTS. 148 00:06:03,810 --> 00:06:06,576 NOW, COULD YOU SAY THEM AGAIN WITH THIS BAG OF DRUGS 149 00:06:06,576 --> 00:06:08,910 AND A SLIPPED NIPPLE? 150 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:09,976 - HYAH! 151 00:06:09,976 --> 00:06:11,243 [shutters snapping] 152 00:06:11,243 --> 00:06:12,643 - THIS IS MY CHANCE. 153 00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:15,543 QUICK, MILA, GET YOUR KUNIS OVER HERE! 154 00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:16,910 [bongos thumping] 155 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:20,143 [camera shutters click] [paparazzi wheezing] 156 00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:25,276 - [exhales] THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME. 157 00:06:25,276 --> 00:06:27,476 IS THERE ANYTHING I COULD DO FOR YOU? 158 00:06:27,476 --> 00:06:30,243 EXCEPT TALK ABOUT MY LESBIAN SCENE WITH NATALIE PORTMAN. 159 00:06:30,243 --> 00:06:32,343 - HA! WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, 160 00:06:32,343 --> 00:06:34,610 SOME KIND OF SEX-CRAZED FANBOY? 161 00:06:34,610 --> 00:06:36,843 [laughs, gasps] 162 00:06:36,843 --> 00:06:38,210 BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, 163 00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:41,010 YOU CAN ACCOMPANY ME TO MY HIGH SCHOOL DANCE THIS EVENING. 164 00:06:41,010 --> 00:06:43,376 - [chuckles] I WAS THINKING MORE LIKE 165 00:06:43,376 --> 00:06:44,743 AN AUTOGRAPH OR SOMETHING. 166 00:06:44,743 --> 00:06:47,276 - NO, I'M AFRAID THAT WON'T DO. 167 00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:49,410 I'M A DESPERATE MAN. 168 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,476 I NEED TO RUB YOU IN DICK NOODLE'S FACE! 169 00:06:52,476 --> 00:06:55,610 UH, OKAY. I'M GONNA GO NOW. 170 00:06:55,610 --> 00:06:56,643 DON'T FOLLOW ME. 171 00:06:56,643 --> 00:06:58,510 - WAIT, KUNIS, PLEASE. - LET GO! 172 00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:00,143 - AAA-- - OH! 173 00:07:00,143 --> 00:07:01,743 MM... 174 00:07:01,743 --> 00:07:04,276 - MILA? MILA? 175 00:07:04,276 --> 00:07:05,676 - WHAT'S HAPPENING? 176 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,676 I'M SO CONFUSED. 177 00:07:07,676 --> 00:07:09,876 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM. 178 00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:12,810 - OH. WELL, I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT. 179 00:07:12,810 --> 00:07:15,776 YOU'RE MILA, MY DEVOTED AND HORNY GIRLFRIEND, 180 00:07:15,776 --> 00:07:17,876 AND WE'VE GOT A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE TO GET TO! 181 00:07:17,876 --> 00:07:20,710 [flatulence] [laughter] 182 00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:22,243 - [gasps] I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY 183 00:07:22,243 --> 00:07:24,510 EVER SINCE JEENA STOLE TURK FROM ME. 184 00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,610 FEEL THIS, BITCHES. REVENGE BUMPS. 185 00:07:26,610 --> 00:07:28,876 OOH, IF I HADN'T LASERED ALL THE HAIR OFF MY BODY, 186 00:07:28,876 --> 00:07:30,543 IT'D BE STANDING ON END. 187 00:07:30,543 --> 00:07:34,410 HEY, TURK, HEARD YOU AND JEENA TOTALLY BROKE UP. 188 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:37,110 YEAH. I GOTTA BE FREE, LIKE A BIRD, 189 00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:38,476 OR A EUROPEAN TITTY. 190 00:07:38,476 --> 00:07:41,910 - WELL, I DON'T HAVE A DATE TO THE DANCE YET, 191 00:07:41,910 --> 00:07:43,576 SO IF YOU WANT, YOU CAN ASK ME, 192 00:07:43,576 --> 00:07:45,443 AND I PROMISE NOT TO LAUGH IN YOUR FACE. 193 00:07:45,443 --> 00:07:47,610 - THAT'S AN INTERESTING PROPOSITION. 194 00:07:47,610 --> 00:07:50,510 GIVE ME A MOMENT TO CONFER WITH MY ASSOCIATES. 195 00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:53,276 - ON THE DOWN SIDE, SHE'S A BITCHY SLUT. 196 00:07:53,276 --> 00:07:54,510 - GOOD POINT. 197 00:07:54,510 --> 00:07:56,443 - ON THE UP SIDE, SHE'S A SLUTTY BITCH. 198 00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:57,776 - EXCELLENT COUNTERPOINT. 199 00:07:57,776 --> 00:07:59,276 IT APPEARS WE'RE A WELL-HUNG JURY. 200 00:07:59,276 --> 00:08:00,643 [laughs] 201 00:08:00,643 --> 00:08:03,110 AND CLOSING ARGUMENTS REALLY WOULD PISS JEENA OFF. 202 00:08:03,110 --> 00:08:05,310 - [gulps] 203 00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,376 POP A SQUAT, SQUIRTER. HERE'S AN EXTRA SEAT. 204 00:08:07,376 --> 00:08:08,710 - THANKS. 205 00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:10,943 - SO THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF SCUTTLEBUTTS ON THE INTERNET 206 00:08:10,943 --> 00:08:12,443 ABOUT YOU NOT GOING TO THE DANCE. 207 00:08:12,443 --> 00:08:14,943 I DON'T MEAN TO JUDGE, BUT YOU'RE A STUPID IDIOT. 208 00:08:14,943 --> 00:08:16,210 YOU SHOULDN'T MISS YOUR PROM. 209 00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:19,010 I MISSED MINE, AND I REGRET IT TO THIS DAY. 210 00:08:19,010 --> 00:08:20,876 - REALLY? - VERY REALLY. 211 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:24,210 I WAS EXACTLY LIKE YOU IN EVERY WAY. 212 00:08:24,210 --> 00:08:27,476 HIS NAME WAS DUNCAN. HE WAS LIKE A PRINCE. 213 00:08:27,476 --> 00:08:29,210 - OOH, THAT SOUNDS NICE. 214 00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:32,010 - I MEAN PRINCE THE MUSICIAN, BUT SMALLER. 215 00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:33,410 WE MET THE DAY OF THE DANCE 216 00:08:33,410 --> 00:08:36,243 AT THE FRIED PASTRY SHOP I WORKED AT. 217 00:08:36,243 --> 00:08:38,110 HE ASKED ME TO PROM AND SAID 218 00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:39,276 HE'D PICK ME UP AT 8:00 THAT NIGHT. 219 00:08:39,276 --> 00:08:41,310 BUT I WAITED AND I WAITED, 220 00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:45,276 AND HE NEVER EVER SHOWED UP. 221 00:08:45,276 --> 00:08:47,310 I COULDN'T GET I TOUCH WITH HIM BECAUSE BACK THEN 222 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:49,610 THERE WASN'T EMAIL OR CELL PHONES OR TEXTING. 223 00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:51,010 - WOW, THINGS HAVE REALLY CHANGED. 224 00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:53,143 OR FACEBOOK OR TWITTER OR GCHAT. 225 00:08:53,143 --> 00:08:54,176 - OH, WELL, THAT'S A LOT OF-- 226 00:08:54,176 --> 00:08:56,210 - OR SKYPE OR INSTANT MESSENGER OR BUZZ 227 00:08:56,210 --> 00:08:58,510 OR MISSED CONNECTIONS. 228 00:08:58,510 --> 00:09:00,910 WHAT, AM I HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH A [bleep] WALL? 229 00:09:00,910 --> 00:09:02,810 - OH, SORRY. I WAS-- - THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR 230 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,743 I WAS STUCK LISTENING TO MY STUPID CLASSMATES 231 00:09:04,743 --> 00:09:06,643 TALK ABOUT ALL THE STUPID FUN THEY HAD. 232 00:09:06,643 --> 00:09:08,576 - HUH. YOU KNOW WHAT? 233 00:09:08,576 --> 00:09:10,476 I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR ADVICE. 234 00:09:10,476 --> 00:09:11,910 THANKS. 235 00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:15,110 - SEÑOR CUERVO, MEET MR. DANIELS. 236 00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:19,743 DON'T WORRY, THERE'S ROOM IN HERE FOR BOTH Y'ALL. 237 00:09:19,743 --> 00:09:21,643 [beep] 238 00:09:21,643 --> 00:09:24,510 [crying out] 239 00:09:24,510 --> 00:09:26,976 - I HAVE NO BUSINESS HANGING OUT WITH A PREGNANT GIRL. 240 00:09:26,976 --> 00:09:30,476 I JUST KILLED 180 BABIES IN THE LAST TEN MINUTES. 241 00:09:30,476 --> 00:09:33,310 I'M A BABY KILLER, THAT'S WHAT I AM. 242 00:09:33,310 --> 00:09:34,510 [giddy shudder] 243 00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:37,843 HEY, JEENA. I HEARD ABOUT YOU AND TURK. 244 00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:39,276 - YEAH, IT'S WHATEVER. 245 00:09:39,276 --> 00:09:41,676 I SAW YOU'RE GOING WITH DEE-DEE. 246 00:09:41,676 --> 00:09:43,643 - YEAH, IT SUCKS. I MEAN, IT DOESN'T SUCK, 247 00:09:43,643 --> 00:09:45,510 IT'S JUST THAT I'M TAKING A PREGNANT GIRL TO THE PROM, 248 00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:47,443 AND IT WOULD BE COOLER IF IT WAS YOU. 249 00:09:47,443 --> 00:09:48,976 NOT THAT I THINK IT'D BE COOL IF YOU WERE PREGNANT. 250 00:09:48,976 --> 00:09:50,276 I MEAN, I'D LOVE IT IF YOU WERE PREGNANT, 251 00:09:50,276 --> 00:09:52,310 BUT IN THE FUTURE, AND MAYBE BY ME. 252 00:09:52,310 --> 00:09:54,110 BUT THAT'S A CONVERSATION WE'LL HAVE ONE DAY. 253 00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:55,710 YOU KNOW, WHEN I'M FINANCIALLY STABLE. 254 00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:57,810 WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS I REALLY WISH YOU WERE GOING 255 00:09:57,810 --> 00:10:00,143 'CAUSE I'M GONNA BE HEAT ON FEET ON THE DANCE FLOOR. 256 00:10:00,143 --> 00:10:01,910 [humming dance beat] - [laughs] 257 00:10:01,910 --> 00:10:03,676 WELL, I WAS GONNA GO ANYWAY, 258 00:10:03,676 --> 00:10:05,443 BUT NOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO BREAK OUT 259 00:10:05,443 --> 00:10:06,710 THE DOUBLE-DREAM HANDS. 260 00:10:06,710 --> 00:10:08,543 - YOU'RE GOING? - YEAH. 261 00:10:08,543 --> 00:10:10,576 BUT I GUESS I HAVE TO FIND A DATE. 262 00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:15,143 - NO! I MEAN, I KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. 263 00:10:15,143 --> 00:10:17,510 YOU JUST GOT OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP, 264 00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:19,310 SO YOU NEED A NON-THREATENING DATE. 265 00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:21,476 SOMEONE WHO WON'T GET ALL HANDSY AND FRESH. 266 00:10:21,476 --> 00:10:23,643 LIKE--LIKE WOODIE! - HUH? 267 00:10:23,643 --> 00:10:25,810 - HE'S PRACTICALLY A EUNUCH. - WHAT? 268 00:10:25,810 --> 00:10:28,110 - COME ON, WOODIE, YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS YOUR PROM. 269 00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:30,010 AND THE THOUGHT OF JEENA GOING WITH SOME DOUCHE BAG 270 00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:31,843 MAKES ME WANT TO HURL MYSELF OFF A CLIFF. 271 00:10:31,843 --> 00:10:33,843 WE'LL TAKE A LIMO! 272 00:10:38,476 --> 00:10:41,243 - THANKS FOR STAYING SOBER WITH ME, MONDO. 273 00:10:41,243 --> 00:10:44,310 - I'M THE DESIGNATED DADDY. I HAVE TO STAY SOBER. 274 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,310 [water pipe bubbles] - YOU AND ME BOTH, MAN. 275 00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:49,810 - [laughs] OH, WOODIE. 276 00:10:52,576 --> 00:10:54,676 - HEY, LET'S PLAY A GAME WHERE WE SWITCH SEATS 277 00:10:54,676 --> 00:10:57,243 AND STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER FOR THE REST OF THE LIMO RIDE. 278 00:11:00,543 --> 00:11:03,243 [siren blares] OH, WHAT THE EFFIN'-EFF? 279 00:11:03,243 --> 00:11:04,343 - EVENING, MA'AM. 280 00:11:04,343 --> 00:11:05,643 YOU HAD ANYTHING TO DRINK TONIGHT? 281 00:11:05,643 --> 00:11:08,210 - I HAVEN'T HAD A [hiccups] THING. 282 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:11,110 - OKAY, WOULD YOU MIND BREATHING INTO THIS, THEN? 283 00:11:11,110 --> 00:11:15,110 - GO FETCH IT. YOU PIGS LIKE MUD, DON'TCHA? 284 00:11:15,110 --> 00:11:16,910 - YOU JUST DECLINED A BREATHALYZER. 285 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,910 I'M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE YOU DOWNTOWN. 286 00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:21,376 - OKAY, OFFICER. SORRY. I'M BEING DIFFICULT. 287 00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:24,476 IT'S JUST THAT...I HATE BACON! [squeals like a pig] 288 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:28,110 [bleep] PIG! [tires screech] 289 00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:30,976 [dance music plays] 290 00:11:30,976 --> 00:11:34,310 * * 291 00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:36,010 - REALLY, TURK? HER? 292 00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:37,910 - THAT'S RIGHT. YOU WANT A SANDWICH? 293 00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:40,476 HOW 'BOUT I FIX YOU A PEANUT BUTTER AND JEALOUS? 294 00:11:40,476 --> 00:11:41,410 [laughs] 295 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:46,210 - THAT SHOULD BE ME GETTING SLAPPED BY BJ. 296 00:11:46,210 --> 00:11:50,876 D-D-D-D-DJ SMART CHOICES COMING AT YOU 297 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,710 WITH THE FRESHEST BEATS, RHYMES, AND SAT QUESTIONS. 298 00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:57,243 WE'RE GONNA ROCK OUT WITH OUR BLANKS OUT. 299 00:11:57,243 --> 00:11:58,443 TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES, CHILDREN, 300 00:11:58,443 --> 00:12:00,943 BECAUSE THE ANSWER IS SOCKS! 301 00:12:00,943 --> 00:12:04,676 - DANG, LOOK AT ALL THESE FLAVORS OF BALONEY! 302 00:12:04,676 --> 00:12:08,376 - DON'T JUDGE US. WE'RE EATING FOR FOUR! 303 00:12:14,976 --> 00:12:18,110 LOOK HOW MANY BALLS I CAN FIT IN MY MOUTH. 304 00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:20,710 - [nervous chuckle] OKAY... 305 00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:23,676 HEY, LET'S GO DANCE, MISTER HEAT ON FEET. 306 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,476 - I CAN'T REALLY DANCE. 307 00:12:25,476 --> 00:12:28,443 BUT WE CAN TAP OUR FEET AND HUM. 308 00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:29,976 - [sighs] 309 00:12:29,976 --> 00:12:32,610 [humming] 310 00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:33,876 - I'M SORRY, COULD YOU NOT HUM? 311 00:12:33,876 --> 00:12:35,610 IT'S KINDA MAKING ME NAUSEAS. 312 00:12:35,610 --> 00:12:37,810 * * 313 00:12:37,810 --> 00:12:40,343 - WELL, WELL, WELL, 314 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:44,343 IF IT ISN'T MR. WADSKA, ALL BY HIS LONESOME. 315 00:12:44,343 --> 00:12:47,410 - YEAH, WE KNEW YOU WERE LYING ABOUT HAVING A WOMAN. 316 00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:49,176 - WADSKA, I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN. 317 00:12:49,176 --> 00:12:53,110 CAN WE GO DANCE? OH, OF COURSE, 318 00:12:53,110 --> 00:12:55,110 MILA KUNIS. 319 00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:56,710 TA-TA, GENTLEMEN. 320 00:12:56,710 --> 00:13:00,310 IN THE WORDS OF MY MENTOR/TORMENTOR TURK, 321 00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:01,443 SUCK IT! 322 00:13:01,443 --> 00:13:05,010 - OH, SHE'S WAY HOTTER THAN MY DATE. 323 00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:07,410 - [grunting] ALMOST THERE. 324 00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:10,110 OH, GOD, IT'S NO USE. 325 00:13:10,110 --> 00:13:11,776 I'LL NEVER SQUEEZE THROUGH THESE BARS. 326 00:13:11,776 --> 00:13:13,143 - WOULD YOU LIKE A SANDWICH, MA'AM? 327 00:13:13,143 --> 00:13:15,676 WHAT IS IT, A HAM SANDWICH, PORKY PIG? 328 00:13:15,676 --> 00:13:18,610 - OH, MY GOD. VONEETA? - DUNCAN. 329 00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:21,276 MY LITTLE PRINCE. IS THAT REALLY YOU? 330 00:13:21,276 --> 00:13:24,810 - OH, LOSING YOU WAS MY LIFE'S LARGEST REGRET. 331 00:13:24,810 --> 00:13:26,643 PLEASE, LET ME EXPLAIN. 332 00:13:26,643 --> 00:13:28,310 I WAS ON MY WAY TO MEET YOU WHEN I WAS HIT 333 00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,676 BY A DRUNK DRIVER. 334 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:33,510 [truck horn honking] 335 00:13:33,510 --> 00:13:36,110 I ENDED UP IN A COMA FOR 15 YEARS, 336 00:13:36,110 --> 00:13:38,243 AND WHEN I CAME TO, I DEDICATED MY LIFE 337 00:13:38,243 --> 00:13:41,143 TO PROTECTING CITIZENS FROM THE SCOURGE OF ALCOHOL ABUSE, 338 00:13:41,143 --> 00:13:43,376 AND BECAME A POLICE OFFICER. 339 00:13:43,376 --> 00:13:45,410 BUT I NEVER STOPPED THINKING OF YOU. 340 00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:47,276 AND I WOULD LOVE A SECOND CHANCE. 341 00:13:47,276 --> 00:13:48,676 - FINE. 342 00:13:48,676 --> 00:13:51,343 BUT TRY NOT TO SCREW IT UP THIS TIME, YOU SELFISH PRICK. 343 00:13:51,343 --> 00:13:57,443 * * 344 00:13:57,443 --> 00:13:59,443 - OOH, YES, SPANK IT AGAIN. 345 00:13:59,443 --> 00:14:01,410 OOH! [laughs] 346 00:14:01,410 --> 00:14:03,843 - EXCUSE US FOR A SECOND? 347 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,243 - DUDE, THIS IS WAY MORE FUN THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. 348 00:14:07,243 --> 00:14:09,376 - MAYBE TOO MUCH FUN! 349 00:14:09,376 --> 00:14:12,310 [angry grunts] 350 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,976 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE WE BRO DANCING? 351 00:14:14,976 --> 00:14:17,643 - NO, WE'RE FIGHTING. 352 00:14:17,643 --> 00:14:20,210 AND YOU JUST KICKED MY ASS. 353 00:14:20,210 --> 00:14:23,176 OH, WHO AM I KIDDING? YOU'RE THE BETTER MAN 354 00:14:23,176 --> 00:14:27,143 WITH YOUR CHISELED GOOD LOOKS AND PERFECT HAIR. 355 00:14:27,143 --> 00:14:29,443 JUST PROMISE ME YOU WON'T HURT HER. 356 00:14:29,443 --> 00:14:31,876 - BRO, I'VE BEEN TALKING YOU UP TO JEENA ALL NIGHT. 357 00:14:31,876 --> 00:14:33,943 - YOU--YOU HAVE? 358 00:14:33,943 --> 00:14:36,776 - YEAH. I'M TOTALLY GETTING YOU IN THERE, DUDE. 359 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:39,610 * * 360 00:14:39,610 --> 00:14:41,576 I REQUESTED THIS LITTLE DITTY. 361 00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:43,110 NOW, GO ASK HER TO DANCE. 362 00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:44,910 I'LL GO ENTERTAIN DEE-DEE FOR YOU. 363 00:14:44,910 --> 00:14:46,276 - THANKS, MAN. 364 00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,310 HEY, JEENA. 365 00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:52,376 I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED TO, 366 00:14:52,376 --> 00:14:53,443 IF YOU'RE NOT BUSY... 367 00:14:53,443 --> 00:14:55,976 - MONDO, THIS SONG IS GONNA END SOON. 368 00:14:55,976 --> 00:14:58,576 * * 369 00:14:58,576 --> 00:14:59,910 CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING? 370 00:14:59,910 --> 00:15:02,676 ALL NIGHT, I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU WITH DEE-DEE, 371 00:15:02,676 --> 00:15:04,976 AND I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD, BUT... 372 00:15:04,976 --> 00:15:08,143 I FEEL MYSELF GETTING A LITTLE...JEALOUS. 373 00:15:08,143 --> 00:15:11,710 - ALL I EVER AM IS JEALOUS. AND HUNGRY SOMETIMES. 374 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,343 BUT MOSTLY JEALOUS. 375 00:15:13,343 --> 00:15:15,976 AND I'M REALLY HAPPY YOU CAME TONIGHT. 376 00:15:15,976 --> 00:15:17,010 - ME TOO. 377 00:15:17,010 --> 00:15:24,576 * * 378 00:15:24,576 --> 00:15:25,976 - DUDE, IT'S HAPPENING. 379 00:15:25,976 --> 00:15:27,476 - I KNOW. AND YOU'RE RUINING IT. 380 00:15:27,476 --> 00:15:28,910 - NO, IT'S DEE-DEE! 381 00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:30,476 - OH, HERE IT COMES. 382 00:15:30,476 --> 00:15:32,710 - WHOA! 383 00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:33,843 - BALLS! 384 00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:40,243 - [panting] DEE-DEE, ARE YOU OKAY? 385 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,310 I GOT HERE AS FAST AS I COULD. 386 00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,176 WHY AM I SO OUT OF BREATH? 387 00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:45,976 I RAN FOR, LIKE, FOUR SECONDS. 388 00:15:45,976 --> 00:15:47,376 - OH, I'M FINE. 389 00:15:47,376 --> 00:15:50,276 I'M JUST DROPPING THE KID OFF AT THE POOL...FOR REAL! 390 00:15:50,276 --> 00:15:52,110 AAAAAAH! - OKAY! 391 00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:53,976 OKAY, REMEMBER TO BREATHE. 392 00:15:53,976 --> 00:15:56,010 BREATHE! BREATHE! - [crying out] 393 00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:59,343 - I'M OUT OF BREATH AGAIN. I'M IN TERRIBLE SHAPE. 394 00:15:59,343 --> 00:16:02,310 * * 395 00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,310 - BE RIGHT BACK, TURK. 396 00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:07,810 I HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU. 397 00:16:07,810 --> 00:16:09,443 EVERYONE, STOP TALKING. 398 00:16:09,443 --> 00:16:12,210 I'M SURE YOU ALL REMEMBER, SIX MONTHS AGO, 399 00:16:12,210 --> 00:16:14,643 TURK PUBLICLY BROKE UP WITH ME FOR JEENA. 400 00:16:14,643 --> 00:16:17,443 I WAS, LIKE, REALLY EMBARRASSED. 401 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:18,876 BUT NOW THAT TURK AND I ARE BACK TOGETHER, 402 00:16:18,876 --> 00:16:21,143 I JUST WANT TO SAY... 403 00:16:21,143 --> 00:16:22,643 YOU'RE A LOSER AND A TOOL. 404 00:16:22,643 --> 00:16:24,010 AND YOU HAVE ONE BALL, AND IT'S GROSS. 405 00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:28,543 YOU JUST GOT DUMPED, YOU STUPID BITCH! 406 00:16:28,543 --> 00:16:32,110 [laughter] 407 00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:34,476 * * 408 00:16:34,476 --> 00:16:37,476 - OH, SORRY, SIR. 409 00:16:37,476 --> 00:16:40,110 * * 410 00:16:40,110 --> 00:16:41,310 OH, MY GOD. 411 00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:44,310 WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING AT A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE? 412 00:16:44,310 --> 00:16:46,876 I'M MILA KUNIS! 413 00:16:46,876 --> 00:16:49,543 WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHERE AM I? 414 00:16:49,543 --> 00:16:51,010 - THERE'S MY GIRL! 415 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,576 - HAVING A BALL? 416 00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:54,810 - ALL RIGHT, I GUESS I DESERVE THAT. 417 00:16:54,810 --> 00:16:57,643 - YEAH, YOU DO. BUT MILAN SUCKS. 418 00:16:57,643 --> 00:16:59,443 COME ON, I'LL GIVE YOU A PITY DANCE. 419 00:16:59,443 --> 00:17:01,810 - ALL RIGHT! OH, YOU SAID PITY. 420 00:17:01,810 --> 00:17:04,110 I THOUGHT YOU SAID TI-- - YEAH, I KNOW. 421 00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,710 - PUSH! - OH, GOD! 422 00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:08,510 - DON'T PUSH ME. PUSH THE BABY OUT OF YOU. 423 00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:11,576 - I'M SORRY. OKAY, OKAY. I'M PUSHING! 424 00:17:11,576 --> 00:17:14,010 - I GOT A PAPER TOWEL. OH... 425 00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:16,210 VERY AMNIOTIC, VERY UMBILICAL. 426 00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:17,876 I'LL GO GET ONE MORE. 427 00:17:17,876 --> 00:17:19,376 - HERE IT COMES. 428 00:17:19,376 --> 00:17:21,243 - AAAAAAH! 429 00:17:21,243 --> 00:17:22,710 [squlitch] - BABY! 430 00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:23,710 [baby crying] 431 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:27,010 YOU'RE A MIRACLE. 432 00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:29,576 A DISGUSTING LITTLE MIRACLE. 433 00:17:29,576 --> 00:17:32,843 - OH, I'M GONNA NAME HIM AFTER HIS DADDY... 434 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:36,676 CASA. CASA MALIBU SPEARS. 435 00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:38,143 - MY BABY BOY! 436 00:17:38,143 --> 00:17:42,743 DEE-DEE, I'VE DECIDED I WANT TO BE A PART OF HIS LIFE. 437 00:17:42,743 --> 00:17:44,976 - GREAT. ALTHOUGH I WISH YOU HAD MADE THAT DECISION, 438 00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:46,543 LIKE, THREE MINUTES EARLIER. 439 00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:50,010 - OH. HEY, WOODIE. 440 00:17:50,010 --> 00:17:52,643 TURNS OUT MY DATE HAS MORE DADDY ISSUES THAN I DO. 441 00:17:52,643 --> 00:17:55,176 - DUDE, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE. GET IN THERE! 442 00:17:55,176 --> 00:17:59,110 - EXCUSE ME, MISS DANCE, CAN I HAVE A BJ? 443 00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:02,110 OOPS. [laughs] 444 00:18:02,110 --> 00:18:04,843 * * 445 00:18:04,843 --> 00:18:08,443 - BALL. 446 00:18:08,443 --> 00:18:11,110 [crying] 447 00:18:11,110 --> 00:18:15,176 - OH, DUNCAN, I'M TREMBLING JUST BEING HERE WITH YOU. 448 00:18:15,176 --> 00:18:17,410 OH, NO, SCRATCH THAT. MY SCAMP'S IN NEUTRAL. 449 00:18:17,410 --> 00:18:22,676 - OH, I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOUR SIDE AGAIN. 450 00:18:22,676 --> 00:18:24,410 IS THAT ALCOHOL? 451 00:18:24,410 --> 00:18:26,743 THOSE KIDS ARE BREAKING THE LAW! 452 00:18:26,743 --> 00:18:28,410 I'M GONNA HAVE TO MEET UP WITH YOU LATER, 453 00:18:28,410 --> 00:18:29,610 MY BUTTERBARGE. 454 00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:31,743 - DUNCAN, IF YOU LEAVE ME NOW, 455 00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:32,943 THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A LATER. 456 00:18:32,943 --> 00:18:35,310 IT'S THE VADGE OR THE BADGE. 457 00:18:37,776 --> 00:18:41,743 - I'M SORRY, DUTY CALLS. 458 00:18:41,743 --> 00:18:42,810 UNH! [thud] 459 00:18:42,810 --> 00:18:45,243 - WADSKA, HELP! 460 00:18:45,243 --> 00:18:47,776 - I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT WOMAN BEFORE IN MY LIFE! 461 00:18:47,776 --> 00:18:51,010 HANG ON. OKAY, TAKE HER AWAY. 462 00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:53,410 - [crying] 463 00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:54,776 - HEY, VONEETA, I WAS WONDERING-- 464 00:18:54,776 --> 00:18:57,676 - SHUT IT, GURNIEL. I'M GONNA RAW-DOG THAT ASS. 465 00:18:57,676 --> 00:19:00,310 - OH! 466 00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:03,343 - ECCH, MONDO, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR TUX? 467 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:04,810 YOU GET SHOT OR SOMETHING? 468 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,210 - I WISH. JUST HAD A ROUGH NIGHT. 469 00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:08,543 - [scoffs] YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE. 470 00:19:08,543 --> 00:19:11,476 I SAW ON TMZ THAT MILA KUNIS WAS ARRESTED 471 00:19:11,476 --> 00:19:13,776 FOR SUPPLYING MINORS WITH ALCOHOL. 472 00:19:13,776 --> 00:19:16,743 - NO OFFENSE, MA, I JUST-- I WANNA BE ALONE. 473 00:19:16,743 --> 00:19:18,410 - OKAY. NO PROBLEM. 474 00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:19,976 JEENA'S HERE, BUT I'LL JUST TELL HER 475 00:19:19,976 --> 00:19:21,243 YOU'LL TALK TO HER TOMORROW. 476 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:26,176 - I CAN TALK NOW! TELL JEENA I CAN TALK NOW! 477 00:19:26,176 --> 00:19:27,210 - [laughing] 478 00:19:32,943 --> 00:19:35,810 SO WHERE'D YOU RUN OFF TO? 479 00:19:35,810 --> 00:19:37,943 - I JUST FIGURED YOU WERE GOING HOME WITH TURK. 480 00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:40,776 - NO. I WAS JUST GIVING HIM A PITY DANCE. 481 00:19:40,776 --> 00:19:42,276 - EVEN WORSE! 482 00:19:42,276 --> 00:19:44,476 OH, YOU SAID PITY. 483 00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:47,476 - GOD, DO I HAVE A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT OR SOMETHING? 484 00:19:47,476 --> 00:19:51,143 MONDO, I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL NIGHT. 485 00:19:51,143 --> 00:19:52,210 - REALLY? 486 00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:54,110 BECAUSE I THINK ABOUT YOU CONSTANTLY. 487 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,276 NOT LIKE A STALKER, MORE LIKE AN OBSESSIVE FAN 488 00:19:56,276 --> 00:19:57,743 WHO JUST WANTS TO SMELL YOUR HAIR. 489 00:19:57,743 --> 00:19:59,910 ALL RIGHT, THAT SOUNDED A LITTLE CREEPY. 490 00:19:59,910 --> 00:20:01,543 WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS-- 491 00:20:01,543 --> 00:20:06,410 MMM... 492 00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:08,310 - SORRY, I INTERRUPTED. 493 00:20:08,310 --> 00:20:09,343 YOU WERE SAYING? 494 00:20:09,343 --> 00:20:12,076 - NOTHING I SAY MATTERS. 495 00:20:15,343 --> 00:20:17,010 - AND THEN SHE JUST KISSED YOU? 496 00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:20,243 VERY COOL. VERY COMING-OF-AGE-ICAL. 497 00:20:20,243 --> 00:20:21,576 - I KNOW, RIGHT? 498 00:20:21,576 --> 00:20:22,643 HOW'D IT GO WITH YOU? 499 00:20:22,643 --> 00:20:24,610 - HJ WAS AWESOME. 500 00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:26,343 - I THOUGHT YOU ENDED UP WITH BJ. 501 00:20:26,343 --> 00:20:27,976 - I DID. 502 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:29,943 - WOODIE, REMEMBER ALL THOSE TIMES 503 00:20:29,943 --> 00:20:31,943 I WAS DEPRESSED ABOUT LEAVING JERSEY 504 00:20:31,943 --> 00:20:33,710 AND MOVING TO PLAYA DEL TORO? 505 00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:36,010 - YEAH. - WELL, FORGET IT. 506 00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:37,710 I LOVE IT HERE! 507 00:20:37,710 --> 00:20:40,943 both: BOOSTAMOOCHA!