1 00:00:04,676 --> 00:00:08,476 - JEENA. [bikini snaps] 2 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,043 HANG ON A SECOND, MAN, 3 00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:11,243 I'VE GOT TO LOWER THE FLAG. 4 00:00:11,343 --> 00:00:12,743 - THINK ABOUT BASEBALL. 5 00:00:15,010 --> 00:00:16,343 - NOPE. - DEAD PUPPIES. 6 00:00:19,043 --> 00:00:20,276 - IT'S NOT WORKING! 7 00:00:20,376 --> 00:00:22,576 - OKAY, THIS CALLS FOR DRASTIC MEASURES. 8 00:00:22,676 --> 00:00:25,743 [whispers indistinctly] - WHAT? OH, OH, "D" LIST! 9 00:00:28,410 --> 00:00:30,410 - SOMEHOW IT GOT EVEN HARDER. 10 00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:32,810 - HELLO, MY SURFING MANATEE! 11 00:00:32,910 --> 00:00:34,210 - HI, MOM! 12 00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:36,343 OKAY, THAT DID IT. LET'S GO IN. 13 00:00:36,443 --> 00:00:39,710 - UH, NOW I'M GOING TO NEED A MINUTE, DUDE. 14 00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:42,710 [upbeat music] 15 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:50,743 * 16 00:01:05,176 --> 00:01:06,610 - READY TO RINSE, MA! 17 00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:08,710 - SHUTTING IT DOWN, KIDDO! 18 00:01:10,143 --> 00:01:11,210 - TOWEL ME! 19 00:01:11,310 --> 00:01:14,643 - INCOMING! 20 00:01:14,743 --> 00:01:17,876 TART'S UP! CLEARED FOR THE HAIR DRYER! 21 00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:22,543 [plop] - SWISH. FLUSHING! 22 00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:25,810 - OH, CRAP. [explosion] 23 00:01:25,910 --> 00:01:27,610 - OH, GOD, NO! 24 00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:30,276 RINSING AGAIN. 25 00:01:30,376 --> 00:01:33,910 - HAVE A GREAT DAY, MY LITTLE TICKLE MONSTER. 26 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,676 OH, TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE! - [laughs] OKAY. 27 00:01:35,776 --> 00:01:38,110 OKAY, I GOT TO GO. 28 00:01:38,143 --> 00:01:40,276 - GOOD MORNING, MY LITTLE TICKLE MONSTER. 29 00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:41,476 - JUST DRIVE, DUDE. 30 00:01:41,576 --> 00:01:43,110 [laughs] 31 00:01:43,210 --> 00:01:45,443 [car horn cacophony] - [sighs] 32 00:01:45,543 --> 00:01:46,643 THIS SUCKS! 33 00:01:46,743 --> 00:01:48,376 WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON TODAY? 34 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:49,543 - MY SISTER'S TAPING 35 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:52,443 HER STUPID SWEET 16 REALITY SHOW FOR MTV. 36 00:01:52,543 --> 00:01:54,110 - HEY, HOW COME YOU'RE NEVER ON HER SHOW? 37 00:01:54,176 --> 00:01:56,276 - I HAVE MY REASONS. 38 00:02:00,110 --> 00:02:01,210 - NO RUSH, KID. 39 00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:03,110 WE'RE ON OVERTIME. 40 00:02:03,176 --> 00:02:06,110 [upbeat rock music plays] 41 00:02:06,176 --> 00:02:07,343 * 42 00:02:07,443 --> 00:02:08,810 - I'M MILAN. 43 00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:11,110 MY DADDY'S BILLIONAIRE BROCK STONE. 44 00:02:11,143 --> 00:02:13,710 YOU MIGHT KNOW ME FROM MY TWEEN IMPLANTS, 45 00:02:13,810 --> 00:02:16,343 OR VH1's A HUNDRED REASONS NOT TO HAVE KIDS. 46 00:02:16,443 --> 00:02:18,310 MY HOBBIES INCLUDE STAYING IN SHAPE... 47 00:02:18,410 --> 00:02:19,310 [retches] 48 00:02:19,410 --> 00:02:22,410 AND MAKING THINGS HORNY. 49 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:23,743 JOIN ME THIS WEEK, 50 00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:26,343 AS WE LEAD UP TO THE BEST SUPER, SWEET 16 EVER. 51 00:02:26,443 --> 00:02:30,310 TODAY, I ASK YOU, AMERICA, TO HELP ME PICK MY DREAM DATE 52 00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:34,543 FOR THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF MY-- AND YOUR--LIVES. 53 00:02:34,643 --> 00:02:37,743 - CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW EXCITED PEOPLE GET FOR THIS NONSENSE? 54 00:02:37,843 --> 00:02:38,910 MONDO? 55 00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:40,376 - I'M SO EXCITED! 56 00:02:40,476 --> 00:02:41,576 - [over P.A.] LET'S GIVE A HAND 57 00:02:41,676 --> 00:02:43,110 FOR PLAYA DEL TORO'S HOMEGROWN HOTTIE-- 58 00:02:43,143 --> 00:02:45,710 A GIRL WHO'S GOT MORE PLASTIC IN HER, 59 00:02:45,810 --> 00:02:47,343 THAN ME ON NEW DILDO DAY, 60 00:02:47,443 --> 00:02:49,110 MILAN STONE. 61 00:02:49,143 --> 00:02:51,910 AND NOW, LET'S MEET OUR CELEBRITY BEEFCAKES. 62 00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:55,376 JOHN MAYER--YOU KNOW HIM FROM HATING HIS GUTS. 63 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:58,676 RYAN CABRERA-- FROM...FROM-- 64 00:02:58,776 --> 00:03:00,210 YEAH, YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS. 65 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,843 AND FINALLY, MULTIPLE GOLD MEDALIST, 66 00:03:02,943 --> 00:03:05,810 THE FLYING TOMATO HIMSELF, CARROT TOP. 67 00:03:05,910 --> 00:03:07,110 TEXT YOUR VOTE NOW 68 00:03:07,176 --> 00:03:10,210 TO DECIDE WHICH OF THESE TENDER MORSELS OF MAN-FLESH 69 00:03:10,310 --> 00:03:13,010 WILL BE MILAN'S SWEET 16 DATE. 70 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,110 [chime rings] 71 00:03:14,176 --> 00:03:15,110 [keys tapping] 72 00:03:15,176 --> 00:03:16,276 [electronic trilling] 73 00:03:16,376 --> 00:03:18,443 - [grunting] 74 00:03:22,110 --> 00:03:24,443 [sighs] LONNIE? 75 00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:26,010 WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE? 76 00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:28,210 - STEALING BOLTS. - [screams] 77 00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:30,810 - MAN, THAT KID IS FALLING FAST! 78 00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:32,243 - [screams] 79 00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:33,543 [cheers and applause] 80 00:03:33,643 --> 00:03:35,410 - WHAT THE [bleep] DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, 81 00:03:35,510 --> 00:03:36,610 YOU STUPID FAT PEASANT? 82 00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:39,310 - SORRY, EVERYBODY, SORRY. 83 00:03:39,410 --> 00:03:40,510 - YOU IDIOT! 84 00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:42,176 THE DAY I TAKE YOU TO MY PARTY, 85 00:03:42,276 --> 00:03:44,410 IS THE DAY I GO DOWN ON EVERY GUY IN THE SCHOOL. 86 00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:47,110 [keys tapping, chime ringing] 87 00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,776 [cheering] 88 00:03:48,876 --> 00:03:50,576 - NO! 89 00:03:50,676 --> 00:03:52,110 - NO! 90 00:03:52,176 --> 00:03:54,576 - NO! - TEETS OUT. 91 00:03:54,676 --> 00:03:56,310 - NO MOTHER-EFFING WAY. 92 00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:59,910 I AM MILAN STONE--MY FARTS ARE OTHER GIRLS' DREAMS, OKAY? 93 00:04:00,110 --> 00:04:02,910 I AM PERFECT, AND I DESERVE PERFECT. 94 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,310 - OH, PERFECT IS SO LAST SEASON. 95 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,343 IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, JUST CHECK PEREZ HILTON. 96 00:04:08,776 --> 00:04:10,676 - YOU SUITS ARE COMPROMISING MY VISION. 97 00:04:10,776 --> 00:04:12,010 - WELL, FINE. IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED, 98 00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:13,310 WE'VE GOT A GIRL IN COLORADO 99 00:04:13,410 --> 00:04:15,410 WHO'S CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO TAKE AN ETHNIC LEPER 100 00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:16,510 TO HER QUINCEANERA. 101 00:04:16,610 --> 00:04:17,776 - THAT WHORE! 102 00:04:17,876 --> 00:04:20,110 OKAY, I'LL DO IT. 103 00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:22,476 - HEY, GUYS, IT'S THE STUPID FAT PEASANT! 104 00:04:22,576 --> 00:04:24,210 - OH, MY GOD. THERE HE IS. 105 00:04:24,310 --> 00:04:27,543 - DID YOU SEE THAT, WOODIE? I'VE GOT A GROUPIE! 106 00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:30,343 I'VE GOT HEAT! I'M A FLASH IN THE PAN! 107 00:04:30,443 --> 00:04:32,110 - WHAT ABOUT JEENA? - I THINK IT'S TIME 108 00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:34,410 YOU FINALLY FACED REALITY, MOONBEAM. 109 00:04:34,510 --> 00:04:35,843 SHE'S WITH TURK. 110 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,110 - I'M THINKING ABOUT 111 00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,676 TRADING THIS BABY IN FOR A MOTORBOAT. 112 00:04:39,776 --> 00:04:41,510 [imitates cycle engine] - [giggles] 113 00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:43,110 - SEE? THAT WOULD HAVE SENT OLD MONDO 114 00:04:43,176 --> 00:04:45,376 INTO A SPIRAL OF HURT AND MASTURBATORY ANGER. 115 00:04:45,476 --> 00:04:47,810 BUT NEW MONDO'S A REALITY STAR, AND DOESN'T HAVE TO BOTHER 116 00:04:47,910 --> 00:04:49,243 WITH ORDINARY FEELINGS. 117 00:04:49,343 --> 00:04:50,543 - I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 118 00:04:50,643 --> 00:04:52,276 - I SEE WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. 119 00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,843 ARE YOU WEIRDED OUT BY ME DATING YOUR SISTER? 120 00:04:54,943 --> 00:04:56,110 - NO, I'M COOL WITH IT. 121 00:04:56,143 --> 00:04:58,443 JUST BE A LITTLE, YOU KNOW, CAUTIOUS. 122 00:04:58,543 --> 00:05:01,676 - OH, CONDOMS. WAY AHEAD OF YOU. 123 00:05:01,776 --> 00:05:03,510 - THAT'S KETCHUP. - OH, RIGHT. 124 00:05:03,610 --> 00:05:05,476 CONDOM POCKET, CONDIMENT POCKET-- 125 00:05:05,576 --> 00:05:06,843 I ALWAYS GET THOSE MIXED UP. 126 00:05:06,943 --> 00:05:09,443 THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY MY HAMBURGER WAS SO RUBBERY. 127 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,676 - JUST PROMISE ME 128 00:05:10,776 --> 00:05:12,243 YOU WON'T GET TOO CARRIED AWAY WITH EVERYTHING. 129 00:05:12,343 --> 00:05:13,510 - YOU KIDDING ME, MAN? I'M TOTALLY, 130 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:16,176 100% COMPLETELY GROUNDED. 131 00:05:16,276 --> 00:05:18,710 OH, MY GOD! IS THAT MY HELICOPTER? 132 00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:22,010 - * I GOT FRIENDS, I GOT MONEY, I GOT CARS-- * 133 00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:25,276 - TIME FOR MY INVITATION, BITCHES! 134 00:05:25,376 --> 00:05:29,676 FIRST ONE GOES TO MY EVERYMAN UNDERDOG DATE... 135 00:05:30,943 --> 00:05:32,776 MONDO! 136 00:05:32,876 --> 00:05:35,476 - REALLY? - OF COURSE, SILLY. 137 00:05:35,576 --> 00:05:37,376 NOW EVERYONE CAN SEE THAT I TOTALLY DON'T CARE 138 00:05:37,476 --> 00:05:38,776 ABOUT LOOKS OR MONEY... 139 00:05:38,876 --> 00:05:40,576 OR BODY ODOR. 140 00:05:40,676 --> 00:05:42,510 - I TAKE A PILL FOR THAT NOW. 141 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,510 - UGH! - HEY, WADSKA. 142 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:49,310 - CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GROSS DISPLAY OF DECADENCE? 143 00:05:49,410 --> 00:05:50,776 OH! FOR ME? 144 00:05:50,876 --> 00:05:52,743 OH, WHATEVER SHALL I WEAR? AH! 145 00:05:52,843 --> 00:05:54,543 "YOU ARE REQUIRED BY LAW 146 00:05:54,643 --> 00:05:56,576 TO STAY AT LEAST 50 YARDS AWAY FROM"-- 147 00:05:56,676 --> 00:05:59,543 THIS IS A RESTRAINING ORDER! 148 00:05:59,643 --> 00:06:01,110 - ISN'T SHE CREATIVE? 149 00:06:03,976 --> 00:06:05,110 - UGH! 150 00:06:05,143 --> 00:06:09,810 - THIS...IS...WAR, BITCHES! 151 00:06:12,710 --> 00:06:14,243 - OH, WOW. 152 00:06:14,343 --> 00:06:15,710 THIS IS PERFECT. - FOR WHAT? 153 00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:18,276 - I WANT TO GIVE IT TO MILAN FOR HER BIRTHDAY. 154 00:06:18,376 --> 00:06:20,110 WHEN WE WERE KIDS, WE USED TO COLLECT SHELLS. 155 00:06:20,176 --> 00:06:21,976 - REALLY? MILAN DID THAT? 156 00:06:22,110 --> 00:06:24,176 - YEAH, SHE WAS WAY INTO NATURE. 157 00:06:24,276 --> 00:06:25,543 WE WERE INSEPARABLE. 158 00:06:25,643 --> 00:06:27,676 MILAN, WHAT DID YOU GET? 159 00:06:27,776 --> 00:06:29,376 - HEY, WOODSTER, 160 00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:30,976 I FOUND A CONCH SHELL. 161 00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:33,276 YOU WANT TO HEAR THE MAGIC OCEAN INSIDE? 162 00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:35,676 - AW, HOW ABOUT A PICTURE? 163 00:06:35,776 --> 00:06:37,743 - THANKS, LONNIE. 164 00:06:37,843 --> 00:06:39,743 - WOW, THAT'S A REALLY THOUGHTFUL GIFT. 165 00:06:39,843 --> 00:06:42,443 [cell phone chimes] UH, I GOT TO GO MEET MILAN 166 00:06:42,543 --> 00:06:44,576 AT YOUR REAL HOUSE, DUDE. 167 00:06:44,676 --> 00:06:46,710 HEY, WHY HAVEN'T YOU EVER TAKEN ME UP THERE? 168 00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:48,943 - I FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE OUT HERE. 169 00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:51,610 ALL THE MATERIAL STUFF GIVES ME THE HEEBIE-JEEBIES. 170 00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:53,776 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? MONDO? 171 00:06:53,876 --> 00:06:55,610 - [shrieking with glee] 172 00:06:55,710 --> 00:06:56,743 [doorbell chimes] 173 00:06:56,843 --> 00:06:58,276 - OH, LOOK. 174 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,110 IT'S THE CHUBBY RELATABLE DATE 175 00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:03,110 THAT YOU GUYS SO AWESOMELY PICKED FOR ME. 176 00:07:03,143 --> 00:07:05,710 OH, COME ON IN. I'LL SHOW YOU THE HOUSE. 177 00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:07,376 LOOK, COULD YOU JUST TRY NOT TO EMBARRASS ME? 178 00:07:07,476 --> 00:07:10,176 - BABE, I WOULD NEVER EMBARRASS YOU. 179 00:07:10,276 --> 00:07:11,610 IS THAT A VAGINA? 180 00:07:11,710 --> 00:07:14,810 - NO, IT'S A GEORGIA O'KEEFFE. 181 00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:17,010 - HEY, I DON'T CARE WHOSE VAGINA IT IS-- 182 00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:18,976 IT'S AS PRETTY AS A ROSE. 183 00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:21,310 - IT IS A ROSE. - EXACTLY. 184 00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:23,510 - [titters] UH, COME ON, GUYS. 185 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,010 LET ME SHOW YOU THE REST OF THE HOUSE. 186 00:07:26,110 --> 00:07:29,010 [upbeat rock music] 187 00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:30,210 * 188 00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:33,710 THIS IS MY 4-D SCREENING ROOM. [heroic music] 189 00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:35,110 - OW! 190 00:07:35,143 --> 00:07:37,110 - THIS IS MY DOG FITNESS CENTER-- 191 00:07:37,210 --> 00:07:39,743 COMPLETE WITH SHIH TZU SHIATSU. 192 00:07:39,843 --> 00:07:41,876 [sighs] MY CHANDELIER IS FROM PARIS. 193 00:07:41,976 --> 00:07:43,376 MY RUG IS FROM THE ORIENT. 194 00:07:43,476 --> 00:07:46,210 AND MY SISTER, WE PICKED UP FROM AFRICA. 195 00:07:46,310 --> 00:07:47,776 * 196 00:07:47,876 --> 00:07:50,410 AND HERE ARE MY AWESOME PARENTS, BETHENNY AND BROCK. 197 00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:53,010 - WOW! YOU HAVE A DAD TOO? 198 00:07:53,110 --> 00:07:55,910 - AND OVER HERE IS CHEF RAMSAY. 199 00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:57,110 - [bleep] OFF! 200 00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:58,876 - ISN'T HE THE BEST? 201 00:07:58,976 --> 00:08:00,943 HE MAKES ALL MY FAVORITE AFTER-SCHOOL SNACKS 202 00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:03,110 THAT I EAT AND THEN UNSWALLOW. 203 00:08:03,176 --> 00:08:04,910 AND THAT ABOUT WRAPS IT. 204 00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:07,276 THANKS FOR COMING BY MY HOUSE, GUYS. 205 00:08:07,376 --> 00:08:08,443 NOW GET OUT OF HERE, 206 00:08:08,543 --> 00:08:11,610 'CAUSE WE'RE TOTALLY GOING TO DO IT. 207 00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:14,510 - AND CUT! 208 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:17,310 - SO, UH, I GUESS WE'LL TOTALLY DO IT LATER? 209 00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:18,976 - READY TO HIT THE WAVES, MAN? 210 00:08:19,110 --> 00:08:20,376 - OH, OKAY. 211 00:08:20,476 --> 00:08:22,110 - BUT WOODFORD, YOUR FRIEND HASN'T SEEN 212 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,543 THE REST OF THE HOUSE YET. 213 00:08:23,643 --> 00:08:26,843 YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE TO SHOW OFF MY OBSCENE WEALTH. 214 00:08:26,943 --> 00:08:29,510 - I'M SURE HE'D RATHER BE OUT ON THE SURF. 215 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,776 RIGHT, MONDO? - YEAH, I-I GUESS. 216 00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:33,410 - BUT ALL OF THE BATHROOMS 217 00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:35,410 IN THE EASTERN WING HAVE BIDETS. 218 00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:38,110 AND ALL THE BIDETS HAVE REMOTE CONTROLS. 219 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:41,243 - COME ON, MONDO. THE WAVES--NATURE'S BIDET. 220 00:08:41,343 --> 00:08:43,610 - I'LL GO SURFING TOMORROW. I PROMISE. 221 00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:49,610 WOW. 222 00:08:49,710 --> 00:08:51,576 - I'LL GIVE YOU SOME TIME ALONE. 223 00:08:51,676 --> 00:08:53,743 - WHOO! [laughs] 224 00:08:55,976 --> 00:08:59,143 HUH? OH! 225 00:08:59,243 --> 00:09:01,810 MMM. [blubbers] 226 00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:03,976 OOH. - NO RUSH KID. 227 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,143 WE'RE ON OVERTIME. 228 00:09:07,876 --> 00:09:09,676 - YOU GETTING THIS, BOYS? 229 00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:14,610 - OH, MONDO, HONEY, 230 00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:16,176 YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH. 231 00:09:16,276 --> 00:09:18,843 WHAT'S WITH THE HAIR? - IT'S THE "BIEBER". 232 00:09:18,943 --> 00:09:20,343 - OH, THANK GOD. 233 00:09:20,443 --> 00:09:22,643 I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOME KIND OF LESBIAN INTRUDER. 234 00:09:22,743 --> 00:09:24,243 - NO, MA, I GOT A MAKEOVER. 235 00:09:24,343 --> 00:09:25,710 I'M TAKING THE RICHEST GIRL IN TOWN 236 00:09:25,810 --> 00:09:27,343 TO THE BIGGEST PARTY OF THE YEAR. LOOK! 237 00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:30,976 [static, banging] - MONDO, SETTLE DOWN. 238 00:09:31,110 --> 00:09:32,510 I WAS A LITTLE LATE PAYING THE BILL. 239 00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:34,010 I'M SORRY. HERE, HAVE SOME DIN-DIN. 240 00:09:34,110 --> 00:09:37,110 - GREAT, ANOTHER SENT-BACK SPECIAL. 241 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,610 - WHAT? IT'S BARELY BEEN TOUCHED. 242 00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,910 AND THE CUSTOMER HAD A VERY CLEAN MOUTH. 243 00:09:42,776 --> 00:09:44,243 - WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DOOR? 244 00:09:44,343 --> 00:09:46,276 - OH, IT FELL OFF THE HINGES, 245 00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:47,643 SO I HUNG UP A BEADED CURTAIN. 246 00:09:47,743 --> 00:09:48,910 PRETTY GROOVY, HUH? 247 00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:50,110 I'LL GET IT FIXED AFTER PAYDAY. 248 00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:51,710 - AND WHEN IS THAT EXACTLY? 249 00:09:51,810 --> 00:09:53,810 - EXCUSE ME? COME ON, KIDDO. 250 00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:56,110 YOU KNOW I BUST MY TAIL TO GET US EVERYTHING WE NEED. 251 00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:57,943 - GIVE ME A BREAK, MA. OUR HOUSE IS FALLING APART, 252 00:09:58,110 --> 00:10:01,910 AND ALL WE EAT ARE LEFTOVERS THAT OTHER PEOPLE LEFT OVER. 253 00:10:02,010 --> 00:10:04,843 I NEVER REALIZED HOW MUCH IT SUCKS BEING POOR. 254 00:10:04,943 --> 00:10:06,943 - POOR? YOU DON'T KNOW POOR. 255 00:10:07,043 --> 00:10:08,143 YOU'VE GOT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, 256 00:10:08,243 --> 00:10:09,643 A BLOCK FROM THE BEACH. 257 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,043 YOU'VE GOT A VIDEO GAME FOR YOUR "PLAY-BOX" AND "WEE-WEE." 258 00:10:12,143 --> 00:10:14,610 AND YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY WASTING AWAY OVER THERE. 259 00:10:14,710 --> 00:10:15,943 WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU? 260 00:10:16,043 --> 00:10:19,110 - EXPENSIVE WATER SHOT FROM AN EXPENSIVE TOILET! 261 00:10:19,210 --> 00:10:22,543 THAT'S WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO ME! [beads jingle] 262 00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:26,276 THESE THINGS ARE REALLY HARD TO SLAM! 263 00:10:31,143 --> 00:10:32,743 [tires squeal] 264 00:10:32,843 --> 00:10:34,710 - TOO LATE, YOU JUST MISSED HIS LIMO. 265 00:10:34,810 --> 00:10:36,876 - [sighs] WOODIE, YOU LIKE LEFTOVERS? 266 00:10:36,976 --> 00:10:38,276 - THANKS, BABS. 267 00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:39,910 - SOMETHING WRONG, HONEY? 268 00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:41,543 - I THINK MONDO'S GETTING CAUGHT UP 269 00:10:41,643 --> 00:10:43,076 IN THIS MONEY STUFF. 270 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,643 I'M NOT SURE WHETHER TO WARN HIM 271 00:10:44,743 --> 00:10:46,476 OR JUST LET HIM FIGURE IT OUT HIMSELF. 272 00:10:46,576 --> 00:10:48,776 - AS HIS MOM, I GO THROUGH THAT EVERY DAY. 273 00:10:48,876 --> 00:10:50,910 YOU KNOW, YOU'D MAKE A GREAT DAD, WOODIE. 274 00:10:51,010 --> 00:10:53,276 - [internal] IS SHE TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING? 275 00:10:53,376 --> 00:10:56,076 SHE THINKS I'D MAKE A GREAT DAD TO MONDO, 276 00:10:56,176 --> 00:11:01,110 ERGO SHE THINKS I WOULD BE A GREAT HUSBAND TO HER? 277 00:11:01,143 --> 00:11:02,776 I THINK SHE JUST PROPOSED. 278 00:11:02,876 --> 00:11:05,776 I DO. BABS? 279 00:11:07,143 --> 00:11:09,943 [hip-hop music plays] - WOW, MONDO. 280 00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:13,176 YOU LOOK LIKE A JEWEL THIEF. - ISN'T IT GREAT? 281 00:11:13,276 --> 00:11:14,443 YOU'RE GOING TO MY PARTY, RIGHT? 282 00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:16,276 - OH, MILAN'S? YEAH. I WOULDN'T MISS IT. 283 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,143 HOW'S IT GOING WITH YOU TWO? 284 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,543 - OH, GREAT. WE HAVE A CLASSIC BANTER, 285 00:11:20,643 --> 00:11:21,843 LIKE PATTINSON AND STEWART. 286 00:11:21,943 --> 00:11:23,810 THERE'S MY BETTER HALF. 287 00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:26,143 - YEAH, THE DAY I'M HALF OF YOU, I'LL KILL MYSELF. 288 00:11:26,243 --> 00:11:29,243 - [hysterical laugh] ZING, DARLING. ZING! 289 00:11:29,343 --> 00:11:31,610 UNDENIABLE CHEMISTRY. 290 00:11:31,710 --> 00:11:33,743 - MONDO, PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, 291 00:11:33,843 --> 00:11:36,176 BUT I THINK YOU DESERVE BETTER. 292 00:11:36,276 --> 00:11:39,110 - YOU GOT TO CUT BACK ON THE FRO-YO, BABE. 293 00:11:39,143 --> 00:11:41,910 YOU'RE GOING TO BLOW MY SHOCKS. [laughs] 294 00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:45,410 - MAYBE YOU DESERVE BETTER TOO. 295 00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:47,543 - PSST! PSST! 296 00:11:47,643 --> 00:11:50,410 THE SALAMANDER IS LATE TO HIS OWN EXECUTION. 297 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,543 - HUH? 298 00:11:51,643 --> 00:11:53,876 - THE CORNISH HEN IS EXPECTING GUESTS. 299 00:11:53,976 --> 00:11:55,110 - WHAT? 300 00:11:55,143 --> 00:11:58,143 - UGH! HOW MUCH CLEARER DO I HAVE TO MAKE THIS? 301 00:11:58,243 --> 00:12:01,510 TOGETHER WE WILL SABOTAGE MILAN'S PARTY, 302 00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:04,410 AND TOPPLE HER FASHIONISTA REGIME! 303 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:06,410 [maniacal laughter] 304 00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:09,410 OH, IT FEELS SO GOOD HAVING A MAN ON THE INSIDE. 305 00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:12,276 - WADSKA, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 306 00:12:12,376 --> 00:12:15,210 - OH, I SEE. YOU CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW. 307 00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:17,743 [gasps] THEY'RE LISTENING, AREN'T THEY? 308 00:12:17,843 --> 00:12:19,310 HIT ME! MAKE IT LOOK REAL. 309 00:12:19,410 --> 00:12:21,643 NO TIME! 310 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:25,510 - DUDE, THERE YOU ARE. 311 00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:27,243 IT'S MY BIG NIGHT. 312 00:12:27,343 --> 00:12:29,810 HOW DO I LOOK? - LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. 313 00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:31,243 - ARE YOU MAD AT ME? 314 00:12:31,343 --> 00:12:32,810 - WE HAVEN'T HUNG OUT ALL WEEK. 315 00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:34,843 DON'T YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN ACTING A LITTLE STRANGE? 316 00:12:34,943 --> 00:12:36,643 - I'VE BEEN ACTING STRANGE? OH! 317 00:12:36,743 --> 00:12:38,776 YOU'VE GOT THIS AMAZING FAMILY, 318 00:12:38,876 --> 00:12:41,110 ALL THE STUFF YOU COULD EVER WANT, 319 00:12:41,176 --> 00:12:43,210 AND YOU'RE LIVING OUT HERE IN A DOGHOUSE. 320 00:12:44,643 --> 00:12:46,576 - COME ON, I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 321 00:12:46,676 --> 00:12:49,110 - WHOA, THIS IS YOUR ROOM? 322 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,443 - NO, THIS IS A SHRINE 323 00:12:50,543 --> 00:12:52,643 TO A KID THAT MY PARENTS WANTED ME TO BE. 324 00:12:52,743 --> 00:12:54,643 - IT SAYS HERE, YOU TOOK HOME THE BRONZE METAL 325 00:12:54,743 --> 00:12:56,643 FOR BOBSLEDDING IN 2006. 326 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:57,976 - THOSE ARE FROM EBAY. 327 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,276 - HMM. I WONDER HOW MUCH THEY PAID 328 00:12:59,376 --> 00:13:01,676 FOR THIS LAME POKEMON TOURNAMENT PARTICIPANT RIBBON. 329 00:13:01,776 --> 00:13:03,976 - NO, THAT'S MINE. 330 00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:06,543 COME LOOK AT THIS PHOTO. THIS WAS THE ONLY TIME 331 00:13:06,643 --> 00:13:08,476 ALL OF US WERE TOGETHER ON THE WHOLE TRIP. 332 00:13:08,576 --> 00:13:12,176 MY DAD PAID TARA REID $50,000 TO TAKE THIS PICTURE. 333 00:13:12,276 --> 00:13:13,643 AT LEAST I THINK THAT'S WHAT HE PAID HER FOR. 334 00:13:13,743 --> 00:13:15,843 - AWESOME. - YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT. 335 00:13:15,943 --> 00:13:19,110 HERE. THIS ONE'S FROM BEFORE MY DAD MADE HIS MILLIONS. 336 00:13:19,143 --> 00:13:21,443 MONEY CHANGED MY FAMILY. 337 00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:23,476 AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT CHANGE YOU TOO. 338 00:13:23,576 --> 00:13:24,743 - I HAVEN'T CHANGED. 339 00:13:24,843 --> 00:13:27,610 I JUST HAVE A NEW HAIRCUT... AND A HAT. 340 00:13:27,710 --> 00:13:30,010 A NEW HAIRCUT AND A HAT-- THAT'S IT. 341 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,676 AND A BLAZER. THE HAIRCUT, 342 00:13:31,776 --> 00:13:33,210 THE HAT AND THE BLAZER. AND THAT'S IT. 343 00:13:33,310 --> 00:13:35,110 [cell phone rings] AND A PUBLICIST. 344 00:13:35,176 --> 00:13:36,910 THE HAIRCUT, THE HAT, THE BLAZER AND THE PUBLICIST. 345 00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:38,176 THAT'S IT. 346 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,643 I'LL TOTES BE DOWNSIES IN 5-0. THANKS, DARLING. 347 00:13:40,743 --> 00:13:41,976 AND A NEW WAY OF TALKING. 348 00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:43,143 OKAY, SO THERE'S THE HAIRCUT, 349 00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:44,276 THE HAT, THE BLAZER, 350 00:13:44,376 --> 00:13:45,543 THE PUBLICIST, AND A NEW WAY OF TALKING. 351 00:13:45,643 --> 00:13:47,743 THAT'S IT, WOODIE. - DON'T YOU THINK MILAN 352 00:13:47,843 --> 00:13:51,343 MIGHT JUST BE... USING YOU FOR THE SHOW? 353 00:13:51,443 --> 00:13:53,376 - WHOA. WHAT? USING ME? 354 00:13:53,476 --> 00:13:55,143 - MILAN DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME. 355 00:13:55,243 --> 00:13:56,943 I HEARD HER CALL YOU MEGATRON. 356 00:13:57,110 --> 00:13:58,110 - YEAH? SO? 357 00:13:58,176 --> 00:13:59,576 THAT'S HER PET NAME FOR ME. 358 00:13:59,676 --> 00:14:02,843 - GET YOUR FAT ASS DOWN HERE... WHAT'S-YOUR-NAME! 359 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,410 - AND THERE'S ANOTHER ONE. 360 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,010 SHE GIVES ME A LOT OF PET NAMES. 361 00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:13,643 [cheering] 362 00:14:13,743 --> 00:14:16,010 - * EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME * 363 00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:18,976 [techno music plays] 364 00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:27,010 * 365 00:14:29,276 --> 00:14:32,876 [cheering] - [grunts] 366 00:14:32,976 --> 00:14:34,643 FALCON, COME IN, FALCON. 367 00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,610 PERIMETER IS BREACHED. 368 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,010 EAGLE OUT! ROGER THAT, EAGLE. 369 00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:40,443 FALCON OUT. 370 00:14:40,543 --> 00:14:42,543 - MILAN, LOOK OVER HERE! - NO, OVER HERE! 371 00:14:42,643 --> 00:14:45,310 - HEY TURK, DO YOU WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE TOGETHER? 372 00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:47,010 - BETTER YET, LET'S SHOOT A VIDEO-- 373 00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:48,576 "ONE NIGHT IN VA-JEENA." 374 00:14:48,676 --> 00:14:49,776 [groans] 375 00:14:52,176 --> 00:14:53,643 - CUT! 376 00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:55,776 - OH, HEY, GISELE! 377 00:14:55,876 --> 00:14:57,443 GIRL, YOU HAVE GOT TO TELL ME 378 00:14:57,543 --> 00:14:59,276 WHAT TOM BRADY'S PENIS LOOKS LIKE. 379 00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:02,210 [growls] 380 00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,276 - HEY, WOODIE! 381 00:15:04,376 --> 00:15:05,643 ISN'T THAT YOUR SISTER'S PARTY? 382 00:15:05,743 --> 00:15:07,276 - YEAH, NOT MY SCENE. 383 00:15:07,376 --> 00:15:09,310 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WORKED ON SATURDAYS? 384 00:15:09,410 --> 00:15:11,176 - YEAH, I PICKED UP SOME EXTRA SHIFTS. 385 00:15:11,276 --> 00:15:13,610 PRINCE MONDO WANTS A DOOR. 386 00:15:13,710 --> 00:15:14,910 TIMES ARE TOUGH, YOU KNOW? 387 00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:16,943 WE DON'T-- WE DON'T HAVE MUCH. 388 00:15:17,110 --> 00:15:19,143 - ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU AND MONDO HAVE IT GREAT. 389 00:15:19,243 --> 00:15:21,010 YOU GUYS CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING, 390 00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:23,610 AND YOU JUST LET HIM BE WHO HE IS. 391 00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:25,310 HE'S LUCKY TO HAVE A MOM LIKE YOU. 392 00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:27,310 - OH, WOODIE, YOU'RE A SWEETHEART. 393 00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:29,443 HEY, YOU KNOW, MONDO AND I USUALLY HAVE MOVIE NIGHT 394 00:15:29,543 --> 00:15:32,176 ON SATURDAYS, AND I JUST PAID MY CABLE BILL. 395 00:15:32,276 --> 00:15:34,210 YOU WANT TO COME OVER AND SEE WHAT'S ON THE BOOB TUBE? 396 00:15:34,310 --> 00:15:35,243 - [internal] "BOOB TUBE"? 397 00:15:35,343 --> 00:15:37,810 SHE COULD HAVE JUST SAID "TV." 398 00:15:37,910 --> 00:15:39,610 IT'S REALLY HAPPENING! 399 00:15:46,276 --> 00:15:48,210 - OH, HEY, WADSKA. 400 00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:49,810 - AH! - HAVE YOU SEEN WOODIE? 401 00:15:49,910 --> 00:15:52,110 - NO REAL NAMES! 402 00:15:52,143 --> 00:15:54,410 I WILL MEET YOU AT THE RENDEZVOUS POINT 403 00:15:54,510 --> 00:15:56,210 IN TEN STROKES. 404 00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:03,243 - UH, WOODIE? BALLS! 405 00:16:03,343 --> 00:16:05,310 SORRY! I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR WOODIE. 406 00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:06,843 - NO PROBLEM, MONDO. I WAS JUST HELPING PILAR 407 00:16:06,943 --> 00:16:08,143 FIND HER CONTACT LENS. 408 00:16:08,243 --> 00:16:09,643 - IT WAS IN MY P-- 409 00:16:09,743 --> 00:16:11,676 [fabric rips] 410 00:16:11,776 --> 00:16:13,343 - OH, HI, MRS. STONE. 411 00:16:13,443 --> 00:16:14,543 HAVE YOU SEEN WOODIE? 412 00:16:14,643 --> 00:16:16,210 - WELL, I CAN'T SAY THAT I HAVE. 413 00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:19,543 SAY, COULD YOU BE A DEAR AND HAND ME THAT CUP OVER THERE? 414 00:16:19,643 --> 00:16:20,910 - SURE. DOING SOME BAKING? 415 00:16:21,010 --> 00:16:22,110 - NOPE. 416 00:16:22,176 --> 00:16:24,743 [violent sniff] 417 00:16:26,143 --> 00:16:27,276 - YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT'S ON? I'M GOING TO GO 418 00:16:27,376 --> 00:16:28,943 SLIP INTO SOMETHING MORE COMFORTABLE. 419 00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:30,676 - [internal] OH, MAN. IN THE MOVIES, 420 00:16:30,776 --> 00:16:32,343 THAT ALWAYS MEANS SEX CLOTHING. 421 00:16:32,443 --> 00:16:33,910 THIS IS YOUR CHANCE, WOOD MAN. 422 00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:35,810 YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT WITH BABS-- 423 00:16:35,910 --> 00:16:38,210 YOUR BEST FRIEND'S MOM. 424 00:16:38,310 --> 00:16:41,343 OH MAN, WHY DOES BABS HAVE TO BE MONDO'S MOM? 425 00:16:41,443 --> 00:16:42,676 - ANYTHING GOOD ON? - I DON'T THINK 426 00:16:42,776 --> 00:16:43,743 I CAN GO THROUGH WITH THIS! 427 00:16:43,843 --> 00:16:45,276 I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG, 428 00:16:45,376 --> 00:16:47,243 I-I THINK ABOUT YOU INTENSELY TWICE, 429 00:16:47,343 --> 00:16:48,843 MAYBE THREE TIMES A DAY. 430 00:16:48,943 --> 00:16:50,343 I MEAN, SOMETIMES YOU'RE JUMBLED UP 431 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,310 WITH MEGAN FOX OR KATY PERRY, 432 00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:54,243 BUT YOU ARE DEFINITELY ALWAYS IN THE MIX. 433 00:16:54,343 --> 00:16:56,710 - WOODIE, I THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG IDEA. 434 00:16:56,810 --> 00:16:58,843 - AND I DON'T THINK IT'D BE VERY COOL TO HIM 435 00:16:58,943 --> 00:17:01,210 IF WE, YOU KNOW-- - ALL RIGHT, WOODIE. 436 00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:03,143 I'LL TRY TO RESTRAIN MYSELF. 437 00:17:03,243 --> 00:17:05,176 YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND TO MONDO. 438 00:17:05,276 --> 00:17:06,543 NOW LET'S CHANNEL SOME OF THAT EXTRA ENERGY 439 00:17:06,643 --> 00:17:08,343 INTO MAKING SOME POPCORN. 440 00:17:08,443 --> 00:17:09,643 - WHEW! 441 00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:15,510 - THIS ONE'S FROM MY AFRICAN SISTER BOOMIE. 442 00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:17,910 "A GENEROUS DONATION HAS BEEN MADE ON YOUR BEHALF 443 00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:20,710 TO THE SAVE DARFUR FOUNDATION." 444 00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:22,876 AH, BITCH! THIS IS MY PARTY! 445 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:24,476 WHY ARE OTHER PEOPLE GETTING PRESENTS? 446 00:17:24,576 --> 00:17:26,610 - NEXT ONE'S FROM US, MONEYFACE. 447 00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:30,010 [car horn toots] - OH, MY [bleep]ING GOD! 448 00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:31,876 - OH, YOU'RE WELCOME. 449 00:17:31,976 --> 00:17:35,010 - IT'S NAVY BLUE, NOT MIDNIGHT BLUE! 450 00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:38,310 GOD, DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN? 451 00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:41,343 - UH, HERE MILAN. OPEN THIS ONE. 452 00:17:41,443 --> 00:17:42,510 IT'S FROM WOODIE. 453 00:17:42,610 --> 00:17:46,343 - EW, WHAT, DID HE FIND THIS ON THE GROUND? 454 00:17:49,476 --> 00:17:51,543 - WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR? 455 00:17:51,643 --> 00:17:53,243 WOODIE PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO THAT. 456 00:17:53,343 --> 00:17:56,143 YOU PEOPLE ARE SO FIXATED ON MONEY 457 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:59,243 THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN WOODIE EVEN EXISTS. 458 00:17:59,343 --> 00:18:00,610 - THAT'S NOT TRUE! 459 00:18:00,710 --> 00:18:01,743 TELL HIM, WOODIE. 460 00:18:01,843 --> 00:18:03,576 - SPEAK UP, SON. 461 00:18:03,676 --> 00:18:04,876 - THAT'S A MOP! 462 00:18:04,976 --> 00:18:06,643 - STAND UP STRAIGHT, DEAR. 463 00:18:06,743 --> 00:18:07,943 - OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. 464 00:18:08,110 --> 00:18:09,376 YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME. 465 00:18:09,476 --> 00:18:11,176 - ME EMBARRASS YOU? 466 00:18:11,276 --> 00:18:13,010 [microphone feedback] 467 00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:14,543 I'VE GOT THE COOLEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD, 468 00:18:14,643 --> 00:18:16,443 AND HE'S YOUR BROTHER AND YOUR SON, 469 00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:18,210 AND NONE OF US EVEN APPRECIATE HIM. 470 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:20,143 SURE ALL THIS WEALTH CAN BE SEDUCTIVE. 471 00:18:20,243 --> 00:18:21,476 I GOT SEDUCED TOO. 472 00:18:21,576 --> 00:18:24,676 DID I LIKE GETTING ATTENTION FROM A GIRL? YES. 473 00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:26,476 AND DID I LIKE BEING SHOWERED WITH GIFTS 474 00:18:26,576 --> 00:18:28,910 A POOR KID COULD NEVER AFFORD? YES. 475 00:18:29,010 --> 00:18:30,710 AND DID I LIKE THAT ONE DAY WHEN MILAN WORE THE TUBE DRESS 476 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,610 AND HAD THAT NIP SLIP? A THOUSAND TIMES, YES. 477 00:18:33,710 --> 00:18:37,210 BUT I THINK WE ALL NEED TO FOCUS ON WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT. 478 00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:39,710 [walkie-talkies beep] UH... 479 00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:41,110 SO IN SHORT, YOU'RE A TOTAL BITCH 480 00:18:41,176 --> 00:18:42,610 AND I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU ON NATIONAL TELEVISION, 481 00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:43,843 BUT I HOPE YOU LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES 482 00:18:43,943 --> 00:18:45,110 AND BECOME A BETTER PERSON. 483 00:18:45,176 --> 00:18:47,143 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 484 00:18:47,243 --> 00:18:50,876 AND HONEY, THE NAME IS MONDO. [cheering] 485 00:18:53,743 --> 00:18:56,110 - MONDO, THAT WAS BADASS. 486 00:18:56,143 --> 00:18:58,543 COME ON. I KNOW A WAY OUT. 487 00:19:00,576 --> 00:19:02,843 [tires screech] - HOP IN. 488 00:19:02,943 --> 00:19:05,776 - YOU GUYS BETTER GET OUT OF HERE. 489 00:19:05,876 --> 00:19:08,876 - TEN, NINE, 490 00:19:08,976 --> 00:19:10,943 EIGHT... - JEENA, YOU KNOW 491 00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:12,110 HOW WE WERE TALKING BEFORE 492 00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:13,843 ABOUT HOW I DESERVED SOMEBODY BETTER, 493 00:19:13,943 --> 00:19:16,643 AND YOU DESERVED SOMEBODY BETTER? 494 00:19:16,743 --> 00:19:17,843 - UH-HUH. 495 00:19:17,943 --> 00:19:19,310 - WELL, NOW THAT I'M SINGLE AGAIN, 496 00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:21,710 MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR YOU AND I-- 497 00:19:21,810 --> 00:19:26,010 - ONE. SUPER SWEET SABOTAGE! 498 00:19:26,110 --> 00:19:28,110 - WE'LL JUST TALK ON MONDAY! 499 00:19:28,143 --> 00:19:32,110 [explosions] - [screams] 500 00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,343 [horse neighs] 501 00:19:39,443 --> 00:19:41,510 [horse whinnies] - PISS OFF, HORSE! 502 00:19:43,676 --> 00:19:46,143 [all gasp] 503 00:19:46,243 --> 00:19:50,410 [laughter] 504 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,343 - NO RUSH, KID. WE'RE ON OVERTIME. 505 00:19:56,443 --> 00:19:57,643 [smash, fizzle] 506 00:19:57,743 --> 00:19:59,410 - PRECIOUS, YOU A DUMMY! 507 00:19:59,510 --> 00:20:01,810 DON'T NOBODY WANT YOU, DON'T NOBODY NEED YOU. 508 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:04,843 - MAN, MARTIN LAWRENCE IS NOT FUNNY IN THIS. 509 00:20:04,943 --> 00:20:06,743 [tires squeal] - MONDO! 510 00:20:06,843 --> 00:20:09,243 - OH, MOM! I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. 511 00:20:09,343 --> 00:20:12,010 I'M SO SORRY I WAS SUCH A DOUCHE. 512 00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:13,876 OH, YOU'RE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD. 513 00:20:13,976 --> 00:20:15,976 AND WOODIE, MAN, YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT YOUR SISTER, 514 00:20:16,076 --> 00:20:17,376 AND ABOUT ME FORGETTING WHO I AM, 515 00:20:17,476 --> 00:20:19,110 AND ABOUT EVERYTHING. 516 00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:21,076 SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY? 517 00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:22,376 CAN YOU GUYS FORGIVE ME? 518 00:20:22,476 --> 00:20:25,310 - OF COURSE, BRO. - I DON'T KNOW. 519 00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:28,776 I SHOULD PROBABLY ASK... THE TICKLE MONSTER! 520 00:20:28,876 --> 00:20:30,443 TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE! 521 00:20:30,543 --> 00:20:31,643 [wet squish] - OOPS! 522 00:20:31,743 --> 00:20:33,576 - UH-OH. - POPPED A MAYO PACKET. 523 00:20:33,676 --> 00:20:35,543 - WOODIE, YOU HAVE A CONDIMENT POCKET TOO? 524 00:20:35,643 --> 00:20:37,776 - BOARD SHORTS, NO POCKETS. GOT TO GO! 525 00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:43,010 [groovy music] 526 00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:44,610 *