Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver
Get the lead out, Billy.
You need to go over to that sand trap and clean it out.
Looks like a coyote left you a fuzzy masterpiece.
At least I think it was a coyote.
You think it was a coyote?
Things are still a little vague from last night.
Partied with the college golf team.
I'm Honky Kong bitches!
And I'm princess pee!
You better run, pussies!
Look at 'em go!
Woke up in the sand trap.
Now get to it!
We're burning daylight.
Your wife was asking for you.
Do ya think?
Rally the troops.
T-Rex havoc is a go.
No way.
Are you serious?
Camel Towing?
Hell yeah, Camel Towing.
I'm very serious.
Put your best foot forward, huh?
Good marketing plan.
Come on, a guy with a sense of humor.
I got a job.
- Ooh! - Ooh, yeah.
Can I get your number? I'll give you my number.
I'll give you a free ride on me,.. right on me.
We believe there's some excellent
We've done our research.
We're confident this will connect
with the demographic you're aiming for.
What do you think, Jim?
Well, I do like the logo, I do.
But this don't make me want to buy my hot sauce.
Uh-uh!
This makes me to buy milk.
"One drop is hot enough for two," really?
Hold on.
Hey, we have some tamer suggestions.
I mean Ted came up with a good one.
"Let the fire loose," boom!
Now that is tamer, for sure.
But unfortunately, Ted, you're an idiot.
That translates in Portuguese
to suffer from burning diarrhea.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
How about "one hot mother?"
No, I told you boys
I wanted to appeal to the little millennials.
I wanted something cool and extreme.
Instead, you give me big ol' titties?
Now, I appreciate all your efforts, I do.
But unfortunately, Doug, it's a no.
Come on Jim, just give us another 24 hours.
We'll get a winner for you.
All right, I like you boys.
I'll give you another day.
But I want something that says "summertime extreme!"
I want people to say, "Hot damn!"
- Hot Damn! - Hot damn!
Hot damn!
- Damn! - Hey, we're on it.
We're on it.
Thanks a lot.
The extra time means a lot.
You're very welcome, Douglas.
Now, I appreciate it, and I want you boys to know something.
She do have a nice rack.
All right, I'll give you that.
And I'm gonna take this thing home with me
if you don't mind.
I'd like to study her a little deeper,
if you know what I mean.
Did you see what I did there, Ted?
Did you see that, Chris?
I said "deeper."
Hey, God bless.
God bless you boys.
Likewise.
God bless, Jim.
That guy's a nimrod.
I don't think this stuff's food.
I'm dying.
He may be a nimrod,
but he's a useful nimrod right now.
You know if business wasn't so slow,
I'd tell him to shove his hot sauce up his hot damn ass!
Hey, thanks again for lending me your freestyle ski, Mark.
Absolutely, brother.
I wouldn't miss this for the world.
Oh man, you are so getting fired.
Oh yeah, and I'm going out with a bang.
All right, you ready?
We're live.
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
This is future world champion jet skier Billy Burnett.
Stay tuned, you are about to see how I roll.
Pin it to win it, baby!
Woo!
Hello.
This is Douglas Burnett.
Just seeing if you got my car delivered
to the Refuge okay?
Oh, all good, all good, Mr. Burnett.
Yeah, yeah, I just dropped her off right underneath the pool
where all the other cars are on display just like you asked.
Okay, good.
I just wanted to make sure
my baby didn't get scratched or anything.
Oh, don't you worry, sir.
You are in the best hands possible, I promise.
- Thank you. - Hey, thank you.
Woo, let's do this, guys!
T-Rex is hungry for you, Jerry!
Let's go, baby!
Well, that's something you don't see everyday.
I gotta check this out.
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Jerry Aldridge,
and this is my wife, Cindy.
Welcome to the Refuge Golf and Country Club,
Horn Winery charity event.
We're so glad you're here.
Now grab a glass of wine or a cocktail and enjoy yourselves.
We're going to start the festivities in just a moment.
Woo, let's go guys!
Big move coming up.
There's a dinosaur jet skiing in the swimming pool!
Oh, Jerry.
- You're fired! - Welcome to the party!
Are you a little thirsty?
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh no, my dad's car.
He's gonna kill me.
I can't believe it.
I'm gonna kill him!
It's just a car, Douglas.
It can be fixed.
It's not just a car.
It's a collector's item.
I love this car.
I was gonna pass this car on to Billy someday,
but that's never happening now.
Can you calm down?
No, no, no.
Every week it's something new with him,
a new video for his internet followers,
and a new pain in my ass.
That's it, he's out.
We have been over this before.
You are not kicking him out.
He's 21.
When I was 21, you know what I did?
I didn't have one job.
I had two jobs, and I was on my own busting my ass.
Maybe if you were around more.
Talk to him.
At least show an interest.
I find that a little difficult
when he's shooting video of himself in a dinosaur costume
shooting bottle rockets out his ass!
Show an interest in his jet skiing.
He has been talking about wanting to be
a pro jet skier for years.
He's a quitter.
How are you gonna a pro at anything when you're a quitter?
I mean, as soon as the going gets tough,
he moves on to his next adventure.
I don't ask for much as a father.
Just once, if he could just see something through,
one thing, focus on that.
Jet skiing is what he is passionate about.
Oh, oh.
See? See?
Right there, don't try to defend him.
What kind of future's jet skiing?
He's just gonna get a bitchin' tan,
sell some knockoff sunglasses,
and work out of some beach shack.
And you know I've never told you this,
you're an enabler and you're codependent,
- and you know what... - Okay...
I cannot talk to you when you're like this.
Great, my car and my wife.
What a joke.
God.
Yes, sir.
I feel you on that.
When she's not happy, you're not happy, huh?
My damn kid, what I'm gonna do with him?
I mean, I called in a huge favor
to get him this job that he just threw it away.
Forgive me for eavesdropping Mr. Burnett.
I didn't mean to overhear anything.
But I actually might have a solution
that could just solve all your problems in one shot.
- Yeah, right here. - Oh, no.
Whoa, that's really morbid.
- No, no, I would not. - Head area, the head area.
Sir, I would not suggest that.
You own an add agency, right?
Yeah.
Okay, so if you can get just one of your clients
to sponsor a jet ski team,
you look like the most supportive dad in the world,
you get rid of your kid for the entire summer,
and, the missus there might give you
a little bit of that newlywed nookie,
if you know what I'm saying.
Well, what kind of nimrod
would sponsor a screw-up like Billy?
Huh, tell me that.
A useful nimrod.
Ah! Hot damn!
Yeah, I don't know Mr. Burnett,
but I was just checking out Billy's followers earlier,
he's got a couple hundred thousand, right?
So you mix those numbers with your sales skills.
Trust me, I know talent when I see it.
I used to wrench for the greatest jet skier of all time,
this guy Jarid Harper, right?
He's a five-time world champion jet skier.
Trust me when I say your son Billy, he's really good.
This Jarid Harper, is there any way you can get him,
you know like, to come onboard
as Billy's personal one-on-one coach?
You know, at least for name value or appearance sake?
I like where you're going with this, Mr. Burnett.
Very smart.
Yeah, yeah, Jarid actually happens to be my best friend.
Traveled the world with him.
We've done lots of crazy things together.
We're very close.
So I could get the world's greatest jet skier of all time
to come out of retirement, coach your son,
who's like the most badass, extreme new rider on the planet.
Come on, boom!
Hot damn.
Keep this clipped to your life vest at all times, okay?
If you fall off, it'll shut the motor off.
Now, this is the slow area.
You gotta go slow here.
And you can go faster once you reach the buoy.
Oh, okay, go fast to the buoy.
No, no, no, no, no, no, ah...
No wake in this area, okay, slow.
No waves until you reach the buoy.
Oh, wave to buoy?
No, no, no okay, in this area...
Do you need some help?
Oh, yes, please.
Thank you.
- Konichiwa. - Oh, konichiwa...
What's up, man?
- Wow. - Yeah, wow.
- How you doing? - Doing good.
You got yourself a new employee there?
Yes, I do.
And, no, you can't.
Oh, come on.
So, what brings you
all the way out here to Havasu, Dog?
Oh, just your old wrench bringing you
the best opportunity you've had in years.
Well, you know, nothing's changed.
"I'm retired," I know, I know, I know.
Look, I'm not talking about you racing.
No, I'm talking about you coaching a new kid.
I mean, that is, unless you'd rather stay here
and teach tourists how to ride through the no wake zone?
Hey, hey, plus, plus, I got us a full sponsorship deal
from our friends at Grim Ripper Hot Sauce!
Huh, what does that do for ya?
A new kid with a full sponsorship?
Is he really that good?
Oh yeah, he reminds me of you at his age.
He's fast and fearless.
With a little guidance from you,
he could be the next Jarid Harper.
Look, I can't leave my business for the whole summer.
Your business?
Come on, your business is gonna be fine.
Your employees can handle things for a couple of months.
Plus, you're gonna come back with so much cash,
you can buy yourself some new skis, and you need 'em.
Come on.
There's always a catch with you.
So come on, what is it?
Huh, what, what catch?
There's no catch.
Come on, we're going on tour again!
That's it, up high!
Sounds grand, but... pass.
All right, well hey, you know if you don't do this,...
Richard is gonna tie your record this year.
Are you telling me nobody's put that jackass
in his place yet?
You know what, never mind.
I'm over it.
- You're over it? - Yep.
You're over it?
Come on, man, it's me.
Who are you kidding?
That douche bag ended your career.
You have every right to hate him.
Now I know, I know, you went backpacking
through Europe with a bunch of monks,
you got all zenned out and you came back saying,
you know, "Things happen for a reason,"
and "The universe will make it right."
No, come on!
You know what I say?
I say we open up a can of whoop-ass on
Champ, you need this just as bad as I do.
I do not need this.
- You do not need this? - No.
Come on, I see it.
You're carrying around this grudge
that's just gonna haunt you the rest of your life.
Okay, think about it.
How long was it that your last girlfriend stuck around, huh?
Well, a lot longer than any girlfriend you've ever had.
Well yeah, I mean, it's me.
You know, two lap dances in a row
is a long term relationship, right?
Huh? Come on!
Come on!
Oh my God, you're leaving me hanging again?
Champ, think about it this way.
If you do this,
you're gonna keep Richard from tying your record,
and you're giving something else back to the sport,
a new champion.
It'll be like old times, you and me,
racin' and chasin'.
Come on, come on, one last ride, please.
Come on.
Yeah!
Yeah?
Are we doing this?
Are we going on tour?
- Yeah. - Yeah!
Well, sound excited about it, come on.
- Yay! - Yeah! Tour!
Come on, now.
Well, he's a half an hour late.
I know, I know, I know, you hate that.
But look, he drove in super late last night, okay?
He's a young guy.
He needs his sleep.
Just go easy on him, okay? Please?
Yeah, all right fine, I'll go easy on him.
Woo-hoo!
Woo!
Here we are,
Body Beach in Lake Havasu, Arizona.
Now, this is where champions are made.
Be nice, be chill.
He's excited, all right?
Speaking of champions, check this guy out.
The man, the myth, the legend,
Jarid Harper, ladies and gentlemen!
You're late.
Yeah, yeah, I had a little video snafu this morning.
Video snafu?
Yeah, yeah, we're streaming live.
Oh yeah, that's a thing nowadays, streaming live.
Oh, great, great.
Well, here's my thing.
On time next time.
Now go get your damn gear on.
Nice to meet you too.
What are you doing?
You said, "Okay, I'll be nice to him."
Yeah, well, I lied.
- All right! - Woo!
Time to stick it in and get it wet!
Pin it to win it, baby!
Do it, baby.
Damn it!
Oh, you gotta love him.
He's just like you were, huh?
You kidding me? I was never that cocky.
Oh, come on.
Hey, who was that guy
that used to show up to all those rider's meetings
saying, "Hey, " which one of you guys
"is getting second place?"
Huh, who was that?
Yeah, well, I was right, wasn't I?
Woo!
What do you think, huh?
Well he knows how to squeeze the throttle.
How's he gonna be in a crowd, any finesse?
Finesse? Come on, please, look at this guy.
He's like a Picasso out there.
Oh yeah, a Picasso all right,
one eye and three tits.
Yeah!
That thing is a rocket.
I'm having trouble with the turns.
Yeah, welcome to the GP ski class.
This thing right here is like 1,100 cc's
of raw, butt-clinching horsepower.
You need to scuff up the bottom and get some bite.
Run it up on the beach a couple times.
Purposely scratch a new hull?
It's an old speed secret.
Oh, and another thing, set up for the turns earlier.
Sometimes you gotta go slower to go fast.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Mr. Burnett, hello.
Oh, yeah, yeah, Billy's doing great.
Yeah, I was actually just telling Jarid
he's riding around out there
with like the finesse of a Picasso.
Oh, that's a bummer.
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, um...
I'm sorry to hear that.
I will tell them.
All right, you too. Take care.
Well, that was your Dad.
He said something came up at the office,
but he wanted us to take a bunch of pictures of the program,
and he's really interested in seeing those.
He wanted to make sure we sent them off to him...
Interesting how Billy's dad hooks him up
with a full sponsorship,
and then just doesn't show up today.
I mean, yeah, he's a busy guy, you know.
He runs an add agency.
We're the pros.
He trusts us to keep him updated.
So that must be why he called you
to say he couldn't come, and not his own son?
Yeah, yeah, exactly, right.
And then Billy rams the ski up onto the beach,
barely apologizes, and then just bolts.
Well, I mean, you know,
that's probably just because he was embarrassed
about screwing up in front of his hero.
You know, "the" Jarid Harper, huh?
Yeah, yeah, that must be what it is, yeah.
Time to come clean, Dog!
- Ah! Come on, come on! - There's always a catch with
- with you. Now, what is it? - There's no catch, no catch!
There's no catch, get off!
Get off, get off, get off!
I think you bruised my manaconda.
Well, maybe if you're lucky, it'll swell up to adult size.
- Now talk. - All right, all right,
all right, all right, all right, all right.
Look, the deal is,...
Billy's a pain in his dad's ass, all right?
So his dad got him a sponsor
to get rid of him on tour for the summer.
That's it, that's what's going on.
What are we, a couple of babysitters?
No.
You know what, this whole thing is a sham, Dog.
What were you thinking, huh?
- No. - I'm out.
Come on, champ, no.
You can't quit.
I'm out.
Come on, come on, Champ.
Forget it.
No, come on.
You can't leave. You saw his face.
If you leave, he's got nothing.
Fine, but you owe me.
Welcome to round one
of the Azeo Distilleries Tour.
There's added excitement in the air today
thanks to the return of the greatest champion
of all time, Jarid Harper.
What'd I tell you?
Just like old times, yeah champ?
Love the smell of race fuel in the morning.
Smells like victory.
Yeah, just like old times.
Jarid!
My goodness, you're still on tour?
But of course.
Hide the women.
It's too late.
Hey, hey, Billy!
Billy, I want you to meet Jean Paul Nukette,
also known as Nuke.
Also known as tet-a-peen.
That's French for dickhead.
Tell me, are you still a virgin?
You guys starting already?
You know, Nuke's a freestyler.
So basically he just competes
for a whopping two minutes every weekend,
and then he talks to girls with his fancy French accent
and they all melt.
This is a typical weekend for Dog.
He just waxes on and then he whacks off.
So Billy, you're so fast
they had to give you three number ones?
Yeah, I'll be peeling two of 'em off
by the end of the season.
- I like your attitude. - Yeah.
I heard there was a loose dog running around
in these pits.
Aw, you know it, baby!
Come here, give the dog a bone.
Good to see you.
- Hi, champ. - Hey.
Oh, it's been too long.
Look at you.
Little Kelly Weber grows up to be beautiful
and Hot Water Champion from what I hear.
- Very nice. - Ah, Kelly, my dream woman.
Save it Nuke.
Hey, Kelly Weber, I'm Billy.
I've seen you in all the magazines.
Ah, you must be Jarid's new protege
everyone's buzzing about.
I am, and it is all true.
There you are.
Oh, guys, this is Summer.
She rides for Team Scream.
Hi, I'm Dog.
Now you know what to team scream later tonight.
You should save your breath for your blow-up doll.
I'm sure you'll need it.
Hello, my name is Nuke.
Oh, please keep your lips off me.
There's no telling where they've been.
Oh hey, team boobies.
I like her.
I'm sure you recognize Jarid.
Of course, the legend.
Hmm, nice to meet you.
And his new rider, Billy.
Hi.
You must be pretty special to be teamed up with this guy.
Yes, I am.
Okay, and modest too.
Yeah.
Jarid Harper!
How's the ah,.. how's the leg?
Oh, whoops!
Sorry about that, Richard.
Don't worry, I'm sure it'll come off
next time you shed your skin.
It's all good, big dog.
You and Jarid go way back, huh?
Yeah, ever since I was a little girl.
Him and my dad used to be friends back in the day.
Kelly, team meeting,... Now.
Whoa.
Hey Richard, might want to lay off the donuts.
Gettin' a little muffin top going on there.
Gotta compete in a different weight class.
Oh yeah, real nice.
Well, that was a nice visit.
So you're racing on Richard's team now, huh?
I tried to contact you for some advice
when I got the offer, but no one could seem to find you.
Yeah, I was on a bit of an extended vacation.
Does he always boss you around like that?
Ever since she went out with him.
You dated that guy?
Well, you know, we were training together,
and went to dinners, and then...
- Uh-huh - I know, I know.
yeah.
Thank you Summer for sharing.
Maybe it's just that bad boy thing we're into.
- I don't know. - Wow.
You wanna see my tattoo?
- I have a tattoo here. - No.
Wait, you want me to follow you?
Ah...
Settle down.
Guys, I've gotta go.
It was great to see you.
Good luck.
The GP ski pro class is on the line.
All the top names are here,
and a new rider everyone is excited to see, Billy Burnett.
Expectations are running high for this young man.
It'll be interesting to see what he can do.
All right, it's first race of the year,
so everyone's gonna be charging into that first turn
way over their heads.
Stay inside. Ride smart.
Time to show 'em your ass.
Settle down, Billy.
Ride smooth.
Newcomer Billy Burnett is struggling
in the chop, having trouble negotiating the turns.
Come on, Billy! Choose your lines.
Burnett's riding has been erratic,
but his speed is unquestionable.
He's reeling in Richard Hurt,
and is beginning to put pressure on our leader.
Burnett is closing the gap, but it looks like Richard Hurt
is just playing with him at this point.
Stop screwing around.
Burnett's coming up on you quick.
Richard, he's right behind you. Come on.
I'm setting him up.
Back off, Billy, he's setting you up!
Look out, they're rubbing skis!
Whoa-ho!
And apparently Richard Hurt
is giving Billy his welcome to the pro class.
Burnett has a few things to learn,
and Richard Hurt just gave him his first lesson.
Welcome to Sacramento for round two
of the Azeo Distilleries Tour.
Once again, it's Kelly Weber
dominating the pro women's class
aboard her Broward Motorsports Kawasaki,
lapping near the entire field in the process.
As she crosses the finish line,
she leaves no doubt in anybody's mind
that she is literally in a class of her own.
You should take it easy out there.
You keep lapping all the girls like that,
they won't want to race with you anymore.
That's okay.
I want to race against the men anyway.
Oh, I'm scared.
You should be,
especially after the way you rode last weekend.
Okay, that's very nice.
He is such a jerk.
He parades different girls around me like I care,
and now he's giving me dirty looks for talking to you.
What ever happened with him and Jarid?
I heard that he couldn't beat him,
and so he slammed into his ski and broke his leg.
Yeah, and it happened on the back side of the wave.
Richard claims it was an accident,
and since nobody saw it, that's how it was ruled.
I guess Jarid's right, he does give assholes a bad name.
Think I'm going to have a little fun
with Burnett on the line.
See if I can get him to jump the start.
Focus on winning.
Do what you do best.
Go out there and ride the way you ride and win.
Don't worry about that stuff.
The rivalry developing
between Hurt and Burnett is obvious,
as neither rider wants to give an inch.
Hurt jumps! Uh-oh!
Burnett reacts and completely jumps the start,
catching the rubber band under his neck.
It pulls him off his ski in a painful lesson of restraint.
And Burnett takes the ride of shame back to the line.
The official signals he will now have
a dead engine on the restart.
Burnett will start in the back of the pack,
and have to deal with the chop
from the rest of the riders in front of him.
It's a washing machine out there.
In conditions like this, you have to find your rhythm,
and Burnett just can't seem to find his.
Burnett steps off again!
He has to be getting frustrated at this point.
Burnett attacking the log jump section,
blowing by two riders.
Oh! He miss-times it, and goes over the bars!
Burnett is showing promise,
but his go for broke riding style has cost him again.
It's a beautiful day here in Huntington Beach
for round three of the Azeo Distilleries Tour.
Come on, Billy stay low.
If you're in the air, you're not going forward.
Cut now! Cut now! Get over the wave!
Burnett and Hurt are side by side.
Burnett goes big, but Hurt stays low and pulls away!
Burnett and Hurt are battling through the surf.
Cut, Billy, cut!
Hurt stays tight in the turn
and gets over the wave.
Burnett goes wide and the wave takes him out!
They're off the line here in Myrtle Beach.
Billy Burnett catching some big air,
but losing time as Richard Hurt moves to the front.
Check out the drive from Burnett,
as he's found some traction and he blows by Hurt.
Burnett leads the pack into the first turn, and yes,
it is Billy Burnett with the holeshot, unbelievable!
Burnett out in front.
But what's this?
He went to the wrong buoy.
Burnett drops two positions.
Where is his head today?
Burnett charging through the surf.
He flies off a wave and goes by Motzurus,
moving into second place.
He misses the buoy.
He'll have to circle back!
But he keeps going!
Billy, are you kidding me?
Konichiwa, joudan de shou.
Japanese?
It's worth a shot.
He sure as hell doesn't understand English.
Don't freewind your engine like that.
You're gonna blow it up.
Billy Burnett has been riding
like Charlie Manson.
He has caught Richard Hurt,
and they are battling through the chop,
heading out to the far buoy.
Hurt on the inside, Burnett on the outside.
Burnett stays wide and he gets by Hurt
to take over the lead.
Billy, you can't keep it pinned like that!
Holy Toledo!
Burnett has a comfortable lead,
but he's still riding like a madman.
Somebody better check with NASA.
This could be a moon shot!
Billy Burnett experiencing mechanical problems,
getting towed in.
No surprise there after he's been freewinding all day long.
This is not the way you want to end your weekend.
Yeah, it was disappointing to say the least.
The guys, they're kind of pissed.
They're gonna make me help tear the motor apart
so I can learn how it works.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Happy birthday, Mom.
Did you get the flowers that I sent you?
The flowers are beautiful, Billy.
Thank you so much.
Oh, your dad's here.
Do you want to talk to him?
I'm on a business call, I can't.
Fill me in later.
I'm sorry, honey.
He's on a business call.
Okay, talk to you soon, bye.
You two should hook up.
Nope, I'm not dating another racer again.
I didn't say date.
I said hook up.
You know me better than that.
Okay, then date him.
Look, you know he likes you
and he's not like these other animals.
He's a good guy.
A good guy maybe, but not a good idea.
Look, if you don't date him, then I will.
And by the time I'm done with him,
he'll need years of therapy.
Excuse me gentlemen,
would you like to purchase a delicacy
to help support our orphanage?
Sure, yeah.
- How much? - $20.
$20?
$20.
What are you buying?
I don't know, but it's for an orphanage.
It's called squeella.
It's pureed squid, eel, and fish.
It smells bad, but it tastes delicious.
Um, you said 20?
Yeah.
What if I...
Just give me that, and I'll give you all this.
Just give me the whole cooler, everything, okay?
- Thank you, sir. - Oh, yeah.
- Thank you very much. - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, you're very welcome. - God bless you!
Oh, God bless you.
Well, it's for an orphanage.
So, you know, beneath this bad dog exterior,
I got a really big soft spot for the kids.
Oh, hi girls.
How are you?
Oh! What is that?
Don't look at me.
Dog bought it.
I don't know, it's for an orphanage.
What are you going to do, just...
Hey, what are you guys doing for dinner tonight?
You want to join us?
You know, Jarid's buying.
I can't, guys.
I'm getting heat from my camp already.
Old Dog can take care of your teammate.
What do you say?
What can I say, problem solved, right?
Right.
All right, let's do this.
Miss Summer, after you.
Playing hard to get, I like it.
Ah, come on now. That's the last one.
Go big or go home.
20 bucks says you can't do two drops.
Come on, two drops?
How about I do three drops
and loser has to buy drinks tonight?
That's what I'm talking about. Let's see it.
- Deal? - Yeah, deal.
All right, ready for this?
Check this out.
One, two, three.
Free drinks!
You're disgusting.
You know what?
You and I, we've gotta do something
about this sexual tension between us, don't you think?
I just puked in my mouth a little.
I'm still down.
On that note.
Yes, party time.
Let's do this.
Don't worry. I've been touring with guys for years.
He's not that bad.
Yo, have you seen the pisser?
I got to siphon the python before I go out.
You know what I'm saying?
It's over there.
So helpful, I love it.
Meet you guys out there.
You were saying?
Never mind.
I'm tired.
I might just call it an early night,
but you two should hang out.
I'm meeting some friends down by the lake
for some late night fun.
Do you wanna go?
Sure, yeah.
All right.
All right!
Whoa.
Dude, dude, my stomach's on fire right now.
I blame you, man.
Blame me?
Why me?
'Cause you were like, "Do all the hot sauce.
"Do the three drops."
You don't think it has anything to do with
- the thing you just chugged? - Mm-mm.
No, it could be a mixture of it, but it wouldn't happen
if the base of the hot sauce wasn't there right now.
Mm...
Oh.
Sorry, dude, bathroom's closed.
Aw, come on, man.
You don't understand.
I'm about to have like a nuclear assplosion here.
Someone puked.
You've gotta come back in 10 minutes.
10 minutes?
Mm-mm, this thing's gonna be over in two minutes.
Sorry, man.
- Oh! - Hey, this is for women!
Yeah, well, so is this,
but his neighbor's a sick ass you want no part of, lady.
Ugh.
It burns.
Oh, it burns so good.
All right Billy hold on, don't go yet.
All right, ready.
Whew!
Whoa, it really cooled down.
You think I'd be used to that by now.
You trained with Jarid back in the day, didn't you?
Yeah, he started helping me when I was 13.
I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for him.
And he doesn't know it, but he was my first crush.
So first Jarid, and then Richard...
sounds like you have a thing for champions.
So has he shared his secret yet?
The Jarid "holeshot" Harper secret.
No.
I mean, that's...
that's some... that's some legendary stuff.
You want to go back to the motel and get some sweatshirts?
- Yeah. - Yeah, it's cold.
All right.
Someone planning on getting lucky tonight?
Dog, he put this in my hand when... at the restaurant.
I swear.
God, I'm gonna kill him.
- Oh my God! - Oh, oh, God!
What is that?
- Someone die in there? - Those bastards!
You know what?
Let's get out of these wet clothes
and put this thing to good use.
Okay, okay, slowly.
That's enough.
Okay, wait just a little bit.
Okay, okay, go slow.
Okay, oh my God.
Okay, okay, okay...
I can't do this anymore.
Okay, okay, okay...
Oh God, we're almost there, we're almost there.
- Okay, no, no, no, no, stop! - Come on, just a little more.
- Just a little more! - It's getting too big!
No, no, no.
That's enough! That's enough!
Okay, we're done.
- We're done, we're done. - Ooh!
Ooh!
Why am I holding this?
I'm not so sure about this.
Come on, it's gonna be internet gold, I promise.
Yeah, but I don't want those guys mad at me.
I'll edit you out, all right?
They'll never even know you were here.
They are gonna be so surprised.
You can say that again.
Whew, I better call it a night.
I'm done, I can't take anything else.
Are you ready for the number one
exotic dance contest in the country?
Yeah!
Still heading home?
Nope, this'll wait.
Let's welcome our first contestant tonight.
This is Summer!
No way!
Oh yeah!
Show us your boobs!
Oh my God, yes.
Oh my God, show us those nips!
Oh yeah.
That's him! He's been harassing me all night.
Come on, buddy.
Time to go.
No, no, no, no.
What? Come on.
Jarid, Jarid.
Please, please, not right now.
Please, Nuke, please tell him.
Come on, please!
Oh my God.
Well, we could go with Dog right now,
- or we could... - Dog who?
Yeah. that's what I'm saying.
Oh!
Come on, so what.
Come on, not tonight, please.
Look at this girl, come on!
Come on, please, please, please.
I didn't do anything wrong.
I had to go to the bathroom.
The guy's bathroom was closed.
- You're done. - I'm done?
- You're done. - Done for the night.
All right.
Hey, big guy, how was your night?
I'm not emotionally at a place
to even talk about it right now, Jarid. Thank you.
You shoulda seen me in there, first place.
Oh, hey, Dog, thanks for the drinks for the night!
And thank you for cheering me on, champ.
Well, thank you for throwing me your top.
All right, I'm going to go take a hot shower,
which is like a normal shower, but with me in it.
I got nothing.
Hey, why don't you ask her
if she's dressed like a general,
because your privates are standing at attention.
Shut up Pepe-la-puke!
That laugh drives me nuts.
Well, it's official.
This is the worst night of my life.
I mean, what else could go wrong, you know?
I don't know.
Oh!
I think I just sharted my pants.
You know, my team manager has already warned me
to steer clear of you, and to stay focused on racing.
Why are you so worried about what your team thinks?
Any other team would take you in a heartbeat.
Yeah but if I get fired,
my contract says I can't race for anyone else
until after this season.
I guess this we'll have to keep this our little secret.
Okay.
I don't know.
A part of me wants to be with you,
but, a part of me knows I need to stay focused on racing.
Well, let's just focus on the parts of you
that want to be with me.
They say if you have to keep a relationship a secret,
then you probably shouldn't be in it.
Yeah well, they also say you should live life
near the edge because the view is so much better.
Wow, getting deep.
You sound surprised.
Come on, I have so much on the line.
If I clinch the women's title before the tour ends,
they're gonna let me race in the men's class in the finals.
I mean, I'll make history.
I'll be the first woman to compete against the men.
Hmm, so we'll be racing against each other.
Yeah, I wonder who'll get second?
I wonder where you learned that?
It's go time.
You need to take a shower and throw those underwear away.
- I'm sorry, dude. - Yeah.
This is the worst night of my life.
I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm probably gonna have to drive the truck
into the lake.
Yeah well, you might as well throw me in there
when you do it.
Well, that's just fantastic!
What do you think you're doing!
Get off of me!
Smell that, smell that,
- smell that. - What did you eat?
What are you doing, Harper?
Get off of me!
Kelly?
That's even better!
We're at the halfway point
of round six in Atlanta.
Richard Hurt has been riding aggressively
and has lead from the start,
but for some reason, his lap times have dropped off.
Billy Burnett has worked his way through the pack,
and is now all over our leader
as they begin to lap the field.
Hurt looks over at Burnett and leaves the door wide open.
Oh, there's contact and Burnett almost goes down!
Don't play into it, Billy!
Get away from him!
Going into the turn and Burnett retaliates.
He puts the nose of his ski
right into the back of Hurt's leg.
Billy, settle down and race smart!
These two are going at it.
And there's contact again.
And again!
Burnett tags him back and they head into the backstretch.
Burnett and Hurt are battling it out.
Burnett goes by, but he's carrying too much speed
and overshoots the turn.
Richard Hurt goes wide too.
Oh, Hurt takes Burnett out!
They're fighting in the middle of the race course!
I've never seen anything like it!
An official is trying to break it up,
but he's having no effect.
The rivalry between these two is out of control,
and the race director is already on his way
down to the beach.
Trading fiberglass is one thing,
but what you two were doing out there
is gonna get somebody busted up in a bad way!
One more incident from either one of you,
and you're off the tour!
Do we have an understanding?
What kind of amateur crap was that!
You're not listening to a damn word I'm saying out there!
Why do I even waist my time?
Come on, Billy.
Not good.
Not good at all.
It's not broken, okay?
I'm just in a lot of pain right now, all right?
I should probably talk to Dad about this.
Is he around?
He wants to talk to you.
Hey, Billy.
Sounds like you had a tough weekend.
Yeah, you could say that.
Look, dad, I know you went to bat getting me a sponsor
and all, but things aren't really going the way that I
thought that they would.
I mean, I'm pretty much in a no-win situation here,
so I think I'm going to just cut it short and come home.
Why would you want to do that?
You got a successful program going.
Grim Ripper's sales are up 6%,
and Jim Anderson called me last week
to tell me how happy he is.
You gotta hang in there.
That's great, Dad, sales are up.
Okay, we'll talk next week.
And um,... we love you.
Oh.
He wanted me to apologize to Jim for not winning yet.
So you giving up?
Is this where you give me a pep talk
and tell me that winners don't quit?
That would be pretty hypocritical of you, wouldn't it?
Were you that scared?
Afraid the great Jarid Harper wouldn't win again,
so you quit instead, huh?
So what are you running home to, huh?
A father who sponsored a team
just to get rid of his pain-in-the-ass kid for the summer.
Look, I don't need this!
Yeah, you do.
So do I.
Need someone to talk to?
I'm a good listener.
I thought you couldn't talk to me?
I can't, but I'm here.
Slumming again, Kelly?
We were just talking, Richard.
Do you mind?
Yeah, I do.
We were both told an hour ago that the truck was...
I know what I was told!
Kelly, your duffle bag's open.
Your shit's not packed.
I swear to God, it looks like a hand grenade went off...
I'll be there in a minute!
Okay, here we go.
Hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Not worth it.
Not worth it, Billy.
Nice try, Richard.
Provoke him into punching you
so he gets kicked off the tour?
You know, if you want to continue down this road with me,
I'll be happy to show you the way.
The truck leaves in two minutes, with or without you.
Promise me you won't quit.
Look, Billy, I owe you an apology, okay?
I shouldn't have said what I said.
Well, neither should I.
Listen, Billy, I owe you an apology too, man.
I mean, this whole thing was my idea.
But you gotta to know, regardless of how we got here,
we're in it to win it, all right?
The monks taught me this philosophy.
The cure for everything in life is saltwater,
tears, sweat, and the ocean.
You've cried your tears.
You've had the ocean.
Now it's time to sweat.
Look, if you pace yourself in the surf,
you won't wear yourself out and make mistakes.
Well, maybe if you helped me to get the holeshot,
then I wouldn't have to push so hard coming from behind.
What do you want, more horsepower?
You know what I want.
You used to get the holeshot all the time.
They say you had a secret.
Well, show me you can do it my way first,
then we'll talk, deal?
Deal.
Round seven of the Azeo Distilleries Tour,
and Bill Burnett is out in front, leading Richard Hurt.
Hurt has tried repeatedly to retake the lead,
but has not been able to make it happen.
You're doing great, Billy.
Stay consistent.
Burnett has been fast, smooth and consistent.
Let's take a look back at the pass
that had the fans cheering.
Burnett worked his way up through the pack
and remained patient, pressuring Hurt,
waited for the right moment,
and then made this great pass to take over the lead.
Hear we go, the white flag is out!
The final lap!
Hurt turns it loose.
They're side by side.
Burnett holds him off,
but Hurt is trying everything to get by.
He knows it's now or never.
Hurt squeezes by on the inside,
but Burnett has the line on the next turn.
Hurt dives inside.
Burnett takes it back again.
What a battle!
Into the backstretch, they're coming up on lapped traffic.
Just three turns to go
for Billy Burnett to take home his first win.
He's gonna win it!
Two turns to go.
Burnett gets held up behind a lapped rider,
but it looks like Hurt is far enough behind.
Oh! The lapped rider broke the buoy loose.
Burnett misses the buoy
and has to go back and pick it up.
Richard Hurt inherits the win,
but what a phenomenal ride from Billy Burnett.
That a boy Billy!
That's how you use your mind.
Get out of your head
and listen to this guy.
Second place, hey, that's first loser.
Congratulations, guys.
So proud of you
I want to punch you so bad my fist has a boner.
Don't worry about that prick.
Ready.
All right.
So there's only one other person in this world
that I've ever shared this secret with,
and he's standing right behind you.
Yesterday, you earned it.
So, if you're ready, I gonna show you the secret.
Now, when you line up behind the rubber band,
you want to swing your arms, okay?
Just like this.
How is that gonna help me get the holeshot?
Look closely at the rubber band, grasshopper.
Come on, get in there.
Look close, now focus on the water droplets, okay?
Let her go, Dog.
You watch the drops.
They start to fall as soon as the band starts to move.
That's how you get the jump.
Pretty cool, huh?
What is he doing?
Today was a big day for him, sharing that secret with you.
Right now, he's giving thanks to the universe.
He is in this deep spiritual dimension.
I mean nothing could break his connection.
Really?
Yeah, nothing.
He gets deep in that zone.
Take a video.
Are you serious?
All right, make it quick, hurry up.
Idiot.
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
We are fortunate today to be witnessing
Jarid Harper becoming one with the universe.
I'm told that when he's in this state,
there is nothing can disturb his chakra.
All right, take it back.
No. What are you doing?
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
Oh, that's not funny.
I told him not to do that when you're in your spiritual...
It was his idea!
I know you were in your dimension
- and nobody could break it. - He told me to do it.
Look at him now. His ass is all wet.
- He told me to do it. - Oh my God, oh my God.
Don't worry about it. Just go back to your...
Go back to your, go back to your connection. It's fine.
- He's an asshole. - Go back into it.
You'll get back into it.
And I love these shirts you made for the team.
So you're happy?
Happy?
Is a duck's ass water tight?
Sales figures are coming in
higher than our best projections.
Oh, that reminds me,
Ted and I on Sunday are going to this sports bar
that's showing Billy's race live.
You guys gotta join us.
Um, Nancy I think made plans for us on Sunday, but...
Nonsense, a chance to see your son in action?
Team Grim Ripper is there.
I love it.
I'll talk to her about it.
Hot damn!
Nice watch.
- Oh yeah, you like that? - Yeah.
I landed us a local sponsor.
- Boom! - Big Grand Father Clock Shop?
Mm-hmm.
They gave me the Pound Foolish Hot Water Watch, waterproof.
The thing's worth more than my life.
And, check this out.
For running that sticker, they gave me two.
Boom! You're welcome.
Whoa, nice!
I know, I know.
Whoa!
How do you like my new shorts?
Wow, well you definitely went shopping with Nuke.
Your grandma called me
and said she wanted her shower curtain back.
Yeah!
Hey do not despair my friend.
I have something for you too.
A book on how to pick up women.
You know, I should write my own book one of these days.
Yeah right, more like a leaflet.
No, no it's true.
You've heard of foreplay?
Well, I invented the five play.
What is that?
Ask your mother.
Here.
Oh man, it's so humid today.
I'm not gonna wear a wetsuit.
At least wear a two mill for protection.
And hide my new shorts?
Oh, no.
You wouldn't want to hide those classy things.
You should wear them to the party tonight.
Oh yeah.
Wait, what's this big party everybody keeps talking about?
Oh, it's an annual classic.
The owner of Azeo Vodka likes to throw a big blowout
before we head to the finals.
Should we warn him about Mona,
or let him find out on his own?
Who's Mona?
Mona Lott.
Mona what?
Mona Lott.
That's her name, and that's her reputation.
Her last name used to be Little.
But after Nuke, it became a lot.
Oh my God, no, no.
She's just a hot cougar who owns the club,
and she hosts these parties every year
so she can scope out the new fresh meat.
Be careful Billy.
You will be filet mignon on her menu.
Nice shorts, bro.
They make those for men?
All right Billy, get focused.
Here we go.
Show 'em your ass.
Look at that jump by Billy Burnett!
I haven't seen holeshot like that
since the last time Jarid Harper raced.
Hot damn!
Billy Burnett flying out in front,
taking full advantage of the clean water ahead of him.
Richard Hurt got a bad start
and is well back in the pack.
I like being first, boys.
Richard Hurt is moving up.
He's now running in sixth.
Burnett catches an edge and goes down!
He scrambles to get up and, uh-oh, check it out,
we have a full moon!
Now it's a party.
Houston, we have a problem.
Well at least he's finally taking your advice
and showing them his ass.
We've noticed Burnett's handle poll sticker
is losing letters.
We're not sure what it says now.
All right Billy, white flag's out.
Richard's coming up behind you.
Stay tight in the turns and you've got this.
Check out the sticker
on Burnett's handle poll now.
You know what they say, everything is bigger in Texas.
Has your boy got a new sponsor
or is he just proud of his anatomy?
Come on.
That's great.
Just a few more turns to go.
Billy Burnett is holding off Richard Hurt,
and on his way to winning his first national event
with his very own unique style.
There's the checkered flag!
Burnett has done it.
He takes home his first win!
Yeah! Yes!
Yes, we dit it!
That's the biggest smile we've seen
from Jarid Harper all season long.
Take a look at the top 15 finishers,
as we head down to talk to our winner.
Hey, hey bring it down!
Bring it down!
Um, oh!
Well, as my mechanic always says,
life is like a bottle of Grim Ripper Hot Sauce.
What you do today can come back to burn your ass tomorrow.
Oh, and I also want to bring this guy in.
I owe a big thanks to Jarid Harper.
I mean, I wouldn't be here without him.
And this guy, he's been like a father to me, so...
Well, congratulations Billy.
I'm sure Jarid is proud of you and your team right now.
I know this has been a hard fought battle
to get you here today.
Billy Burnett's win this weekend
now moves him into second in points behind Richard Hurt.
Kelly Weber continues her undefeated season,
and her win today gives her an insurmountable points lead
going into the finals.
Congratulations.
Congrats to you too.
Another championship clinched, huh?
Yes, and now I'll get to race with the men in the finals.
So excited.
Guess I better train extra hard now.
Yeah, I think so.
Hey, nice ass by the way.
Hmm, I was just trying to get your attention.
Oh, well, you got it.
Are you gonna go to that the big party tonight?
Oh, no.
Uh, they banned Richard
after an incident last season, and our manager says
our entire team is boycotting, politics.
But it's okay, we're leaving extra early for Havasu,
and going straight there to test for the finals, so...
Come on, come help celebrate my first win.
I wish I could, I'm sorry.
I have to lay low.
Oh, she'll be there.
Gotta go. Bye!
Hey thanks, Jim.
No thank you, Doug.
I'm very excited.
I'm very excited about everything, okay.
- All right. - I'm taking these boys out.
I might not bring them back.
All right, have fun, have fun!
Hey, this is Billy.
Leave a message cause I am going, going, gone!
Welcome to the party.
Enjoy yourselves.
This dog is ready to hunt tonight!
Yeah, well, did you read that book Nuke got you?
Nah, I tried.
It was a bunch of crap about listening to women
and respecting their feelings.
I don't know, it seems like a lot of work.
Well, could you at just least try
to use a little subtlety in your approach tonight?
Sure.
For you, champ, it'll be a kinder, gentler, Dog tonight,
all right?
Hello.
Welcome to the Azeo Vodka party.
Well, thank you so much.
That's quite a grip you got there.
Yeah, I grew up on a dairy farm,
and that's my tit squeezing hand.
That's quite a coincidence, 'cause it's mine too.
Eight seconds, wow, good job.
- Amazing, this guy's still single?
Hey, Ryan.
Thanks so much for having us.
Hey Billy, this is Ryan Horn, the owner of Azeo Vodka.
- Ryan, this... - I know who he is.
Nice ridin' today, Billy.
And the way you gave 'ol Dick Hurt the brown eye like that,
I nearly pissed myself.
Come on in, boys, let's get after it.
- All right. - Sweet.
Jarid Harper!
Mona, how you doing?
Even better if you tell me
you came back to take me up on my offer.
Oh, you know, Mona,
I've been known to do a little pinch hitting
for Jarid from time to time.
Speaking of pinch hitters, young Billy Burnett,
I'm having a hall of fame ceremony later tonight
and I'm confident you'll be inducted.
I'll come find you.
Run.
She is going to come find you.
Dude, why are you doing this to yourself?
Let's go somewhere else.
I've got my reasons.
Look at this guy, sickening.
Oui, oui, I am zee king of bullshit.
If you don't believe me, just ask me.
I am zee best. What an idiot.
You know, we may have to reel Billy in.
He's starting to party pretty hard.
Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him.
Great, I feel a whole lot better now.
Good, you should.
- Cheers. - Cheers, gentlemen.
- To victory. - To...
- Ugh. - Billy, come on.
Oh, Billy come on.
Yo...
Do you mind if we take a picture?
Not at all.
Oh, thank you so much.
- Oh, of you guys? - Yeah, please.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- Oh, okay. - Sorry.
Say, "Doggy style."
Uh-uh.
You are beautiful, honey.
- There you go. - Thank you so much.
I am such a fan.
Thank you.
I'm a fan of yours.
Mm!
Man, this is unbelievable.
Billy's in the middle of a feeding frenzy.
Nuke's got a net full.
You, you've got one on the hook and just let one go.
Me, I can't even get a nibble.
Maybe if you were fishing with a bigger worm?
That's hilarious.
Hey, what's your deal anyway?
I mean, you got all those hot chicks on tour.
Why don't just pluck one out
and make her your trophy wife or something?
There's more to relationships than physical attraction.
Okay, yeah well, if you leave now,
you can catch the Katherine Heigl double feature.
No, I mean, I get it.
I could get on that page, you know.
That's what I'm looking for here tonight,
just like a deep meaningless relationship, you know?
No, no, all right, seriously, seriously,
seriously, I get where you're coming from.
I would just give anything to like find a special girl
to just you know, love, confide in, to cherish,
and just like respect everything, just
Oh my God, look at the taters on this little model.
I'm so sick of this crap.
Let's go.
There's the man of the hour.
You haven't had your Mona Lott shot, have you?
Um...
Open wide, I'm coming in.
Oops, let me get that.
Kelly?
No, no, Kelly!
Dude, you're losing it.
She's not even worth it.
I'm not losing anything!
Yeah well, we could lose our jobs.
Are you with me or against me?
All right.
Yeah, let's do it.
All right, cool.
Kelly, Kelly!
Congratulations on getting in Mona's hall of fame.
- I was... - Just go, I've got this.
I wasn't kissing her.
I thought you were different from the rest of these guys!
She was crazy about you!
She was the best thing that's ever happened to you,
and you just threw it away!
Look, stay away from my friends!
I wasn't kissing...
Hey, Billy, your ski's on fire!
What?
My ski.
Hey, Jim.
Hey, bud, I just wanted to call and let you know
I won't be able to wire you that next payment.
What's going on?
Um, I'm going on vacation.
Vacation?
Sausage was discovered in the sauce.
Sausage, I don't understand, why is that a problem?
I mean, you're not advertising it's kosher are you?
It wasn't kosher with my wife.
It was my sausage in my secretary's sauce.
She's pissed.
She turned my books over to the IRS.
The FBI is here now seizing everything.
Oh God, I'm gonna probably do 5 to 10, bud.
Oh! Oh!
Avenge me, Douglas!
Jim?
- What's that about? - Nah,
- Just Jim being Jim. - Hmm.
Hi, it's Kelly.
Catch me if you can, or just leave me a message.
Hey, hey, Kelly, it's me.
I don't know if you heard or not,
but I lost my sponsor and everything,
so I'm not going to be seeing you at the finals.
Listen, I really want to talk to you
and explain everything that happened.
If you could give me a call that would,
that would be...
great.
You can crash here for a while,
until you're ready to head back to LA.
That's the last place I want to go.
I can just hear my Dad.
Somehow this is all gonna be my fault.
Your choice.
I don't know if I'd want to be here in Havasu
when the championships are going on.
Just saying.
Kelly!
Shouldn't you get back to LA?
You know, open up your shop?
I can't work like this.
I feel like a jackass, man.
I mean, I'm the one that talked Billy's dad
into this whole mess.
And now, they aren't even speaking.
Well, you kind of talked us all into this mess.
Look, it's not your fault, all right?
We're in this together.
We'll get through it together.
How?
How are we gonna get through this, hm?
Ski's destroyed.
We're not seeing a dime of that money Grimm Ripper owes us.
So much for all that universe will make it right stuff, huh?
What are we even doing here?
What are we doing here?
The monks, they ah... pray like everything
depends on the universe.
Work like everything depends on you.
What is that?
What's the plan?
You can't just say that and then run away.
I didn't train with the monks.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Hi, you must be Nancy.
Oh, hi.
Jarid Harper.
Hi!
Oh yes, I've heard all about you.
Come on in.
Lovely to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
I was wondering if I could speak with Douglas.
Yes, yes, he's in the office.
Douglas, Jarid is here.
Thank you.
I'm just wrapping up a call.
Come on in.
Right.
No, just text me.
Okay, yeah, it'll be there.
Okay, see you, bye.
Nice to finally meet you, Jarid.
You too, Douglas.
I'm sorry about the sponsorship not working out.
Nobody could've seen that coming.
Yeah, it's a bummer.
Hey, grab a seat, man.
When did you guys get back?
I haven't heard from Billy.
Oh, well, he's... staying with a friend.
He must be disappointed.
Yeah, yeah, on a number of levels.
He knows about the arrangement?
Yeah, you know, he's a smart kid.
Hell, he's not a kid anymore.
You'd be surprised.
You know, he's second in points.
He could've won the championship.
You know, I ah...
I lost my dad when I was 16.
The really sad part is that
we hadn't been getting along for years.
I actually thought I hated him at the time.
The reality now is,..
I'd give anything to have him back.
Don't think that I don't feel bad...
about my relationship...
not working with my son but,..
I'd do anything to fix it.
Look, I'm sure you do feel bad.
I mean, anyone who's received the world's greatest dad award
kind of has to feel bad.
Wow.
You know, I made one hell of a mistake giving up on myself
when I should've fought through
and finished things the right way.
Don't give up on your son when he still has a chance.
Well, so what are you,.. what are you thinking?
Billy.
What are you doing here?
Remember this?
It's been a long time since I've been that dad.
I want to apologize for not being there for you,
and I need help solving a big problem.
I mean, should it be called team Burnett,
or team Camaro?
What're you talking about?
What are you doing here?
Team Burnett has a nice ring to it.
Yeah, I like the sound of that.
Well, it's just too bad
you didn't own an old classic Ford woody.
We could've been called Team Woody.
That would've been epic.
Oh okay, Dog, Team Burnett it is.
Your dad sold his car so you can go to the championships.
Dad, that was your, your...
My baby.
I sold it for you, man.
I can't believe you would do that.
Well, are we going to stand around here yapping about it,
or are we going to go racing?
Everybody in here.
On three, Team Burnett.
This is gonna be the greatest comeback
in Team Burnett history.
One, two, three.
Team Burnett!
The first woman to compete against the men
at world finals.
What are you feeling right now?
So many things.
It's quite amazing.
A lot of dreams are coming true today, so it's big.
That's what she said.
I've been to the top of this mountain four times already.
I've got the points lead,
and I only need to finish 10th or better
to take home the championship.
So, would you bet against me?
My mechanic, he's been up for three days straight
building my new ski.
My entire team has been amazing.
My message to the competition
is to nut up and put the wood to it.
Let's get it on.
May the best man win.
Kelly, I've been trying to call you for weeks.
Look, I promise you I didn't do anything, I...
Let's just focus on what's important today, okay?
You can feel the electricity in the air
and the stage is set.
Billy Burnett's team has burned the midnight oil
putting together a new Pro Force 2.0, but it's untested.
And rumor has it that Broward Motorsports
has upgraded Richard Hurt's ski with 20 more horsepower
than he's had all season long.
It's going to be interesting.
So how you holding up, pal?
Oh man, I am running on fumes, but we made it.
Yeah, well, you'll sleep good tonight, huh?
Mm-hm.
You got this.
What's on your mind, Billy?
How are we gonna compete against Richard
when he's running on 20 more horsepower?
Even if he does get the holeshot,
it's not gonna matter.
Once it gets rough out there, it's all rider.
You can outride him.
Just go out there and show them your ass.
Frankie Zapata on his Flyboard Air
doing a flyby, as we prepare for the race
we've all been waiting for.
Fasten your seat belts, folks.
We're about to go ballistic here in Lake Havasu.
Blake Corning lights the fuse.
- Here we go! - It's dead!
- What? - It's dead, it's dead!
Oh, come on, come on! Help me get it out! Let's go!
Burnett has a problem on the line
and they're shutting them down.
He'll have two minutes to get it sorted out.
The start button wire's been cut.
Short the solenoid.
I'm trying.
Less than a minute left,
and I would not want to be
in Billy Burnett's shoes right now.
Come on, come on, come on!
15 seconds, you have 15 seconds!
- Come on, Dog! - I'm trying.
The two-minute hold has expired.
Burnett's team is frantically trying to get him going,
but it doesn't look good.
They're off the line
and Billy Burnett is left dead on the beach.
It's a drag race to the first turn, and check it out,
Kelly Weber has the holeshot.
Can you believe it?
The first woman to race with the men,
and she's out in front.
Come on, come on!
Kelly Weber leading the pack on lap one.
On the beach, Billy Burnett's team
is still trying to get him going.
He may be able to get into the race,
but him dream for a championship is long gone.
Richard Hurt is now in second place
and putting the pressure on Kelly Weber,
but she is standing strong.
Come on, come on, come on!
- Come on, come on. - Oh, I need sleep, guys.
- Come on, come on! - Stay ready!
Stay ready!
Stay ready! Stay ready!
- Come on! - Come On!
Yes!
Oh my God. Go. Go. Billy.
They've got Billy Burnett's ski fired up.
He is up and running.
- Go! - That's it, baby!
This thing is not over, Billy. It's not over!
Kelly Weber out in front
holding off Richard Hurt.
Hurt gets by.
Weber dives back inside and retakes the lead!
She is one tough competitor,
tougher than a $2 steak,
and determined to make history this weekend.
Take your time, Richard.
Ride smart.
Get her out of my way!
Richard Hurt trying everything in his arsenal
to get by his teammate.
Hurt pulls next to Kelly Weber.
They're side by side.
I warned you!
He bumps her, oh!
Hurt sends Kelly Weber right into the buoy.
Unbelievable!
He just took out his own teammate!
And the crowd can't believe what just happened.
Billy Burnett has caught the back of the pack
and is starting to pick riders off.
And attrition begins to take it's toll,
as riders are dropping out with mechanical problems.
Kelly Weber has remounted her ski.
She signals she's okay,
but she no doubt had her bell rung on that get off.
Back on our leader Richard Hurt,
out in front and he's absolutely flying.
Billy Burnett continues to battle his way through the pack.
He is currently in 12th.
The halfway mark,
and Richard Hurt still has a commanding lead
over the rest of the field.
How we looking?
Well, Richard's slowing down.
He's probably saving his motor.
We're gaining, but it's not going to be enough.
We're gonna need a miracle.
You smell that?
Smell what?
A miracle.
Richard just went by.
I smell burning rubber.
He's not slowing down to save his engine.
He's burning an exhaust hose.
Billy, listen.
You're running a great race just like we practiced,
but we're changing plans.
I want you to ride like the old Billy.
Pin it to win it, baby.
Pin it to win it!
Burnett has turned on the afterburners
and is on the ragged edge.
He's blowing by riders, left and right.
He cuts off a rider just before the log jump
and sends him into it!
The crowd is loving it,
as Billy Burnett has pulled out all the stops.
You think that helps?
Yes.
Burnett is flying!
He's in third place, and is reeling in second!
We've gotta get closer, come on.
Richard Hurt remains in front,
but his lead has dropped to just four seconds.
At this point, I'm sure he's aware
that Burnett is coming up quick.
Burnett gets by Kole Cramer for second!
That's what I'm talking about!
Bump it right there!
B-burn now!
Okay, Billy, here's the plan.
Do not pass Richard.
What?
What kind of plan is that?
Just trust me on this.
Push him as hard as you can without passing him.
Richard Hurt in front,
but Billy Burnett is rapidly closing the gap!
Burnett takes the inside line!
He tries again!
They're side by side!
The crowd is going crazy!
Richard Hurt is doing everything he can
to hold onto his lead,
but Burnett is on him like a dog on a piece of meat.
Richard, be smart.
You don't need to win this.
There's no way he's beating me!
The white flag comes out.
One lap to go!
Come on.
Burn, you son of a gun, burn.
All right, Billy, take us home.
Burnett sets him up.
He dives inside,
trying to get the drive down the backstretch.
And Burnett goes by!
Richard Hurt is slowing.
He's got a problem.
His ski has died.
Hurt is down!
Billy Burnett is going to do it.
From dead last to first,
what an amazing ride for this young man.
Here it is, the checkered flag!
Billy Burnett has overcome an incredible setback
on the start and done it.
He has won the battle,
but it looks like Richard Hurt will win the war.
He's up and running and going to nurse it home
for at least a 10th place finish.
Whoa, what's that all about?
If Richard finishes in the top 10,
he wins the championship.
What's that? What's that? What?
I'm gonna go grab the ski, okay?
Hurt's ski dies again and he drops to fourth.
He gets it re-lit, but it's not firing on all cylinders.
Two more riders go by, dropping Hurt to sixth,
and the crowd has picked up on it,
as he continues to drop positions.
Seventh!
Hurt is limping toward the finish line
30 feet away and his ski dies again!
He's down!
He's down in the water again!
Here comes another rider.
Eighth!
Hurt's ski is completely dead.
He's trying to swim it across the finish line.
He looks back, and here comes another rider.
He'll drop down to ninth.
Ninth!
Hurt is a mere 20 feet from the finish line.
Here comes another rider
putting him on the bubble in 10th place.
10th!
He could lose it all!
Hurt looks exhausted.
Here comes another rider,
and it's his teammate Kelly Weber!
Kelly, do not pass Richard!
Do you understand?
Do not pass Richard!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no...
Kelly Weber is slowing down.
She's stopping behind Richard Hurt.
And look at this, there's no one else left on the course!
Richard Hurt is gonna win the championship
by the skin of his teeth.
Billy Burnett rode the race of a lifetime,
but the championship wasn't in the cards for him today.
That's perfect, Kelly.
Great job. Just sit tight.
Come on, Kelly.
Come on, come on, come on.
Richard Hurt is just 15 feet
away from victory!
Kelly, great teamwork out there.
Do you read me?
Kelly, do you read me?
Kelly?
Come on, Kelly.
You know what to do. Come on.
Come on.
Do it for love, baby.
Richard Hurt is just 10 feet away
from making history.
Kelly, using team strategy
to allow Richard Hurt to take home the championship.
But wait, Kelly Weber goes for it!
She drops Richard Hurt to 11th place!
I don't believe this!
11th, yeah!
Billy Burnett wins the championship!
He wins the championship!
I guess I do have a thing for champions.
You did it!
This is my son!
This is your son.
I'm so proud of you, man.
Coach come here, man.
Come here.
Team Burnett, baby! Team Burnett! Team Burnett!
Woo!
Don't think you're getting out of here unscathed.
Come on, what did I do now?
I hear you're the reason got Billy here.
You done good.
No, you're nuts.
I'm not falling for whatever you're up to.
You need help.
You're the one that's gonna need help.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Sam, take a look at this.
She was taking pictures
during the starting line National Anthem.
Looks like Richard was a little distracted.
Are you kidding me?
Seriously, Richard?
You're suspending for a year.
This is Broward Motorsports.
We don't cheat.
You're fired, go find yourself another sponsor.
Ready or not, here I come.
Are you ready for me?
Jarid, do you have the line,
or do you want me to feed you?
I got this.
All right.
Shoot.
That's what I like to hear.
- And action. - All right, be heads up now.
Jarid's gonna be out for blood.
Show 'em your ass.
Richard's gonna be out for blood.
- Yep, not me. - Not you.
See, I got this.
How are we looking?
Well, Richard's slowing down.
He's probably saving his motor.
Shit.
You want to try that again?
Sorry.
Did you want to say something?
Hey Billy, what'd you want from Burger King?
All right, so listen, I tried that five play thing
and I can't quite get the thumb.
- I need something. - Dog, dog...
Give me something.
Dog, you're not supposed to try it on yourself.
Oh, okay.
You're supposed to meet a woman first.
Very funny.
Hey, I tell you a secret, okay?
Do not tell anyone.
All right.
I'm not French.
Wait, wait, wait.
Are you serious?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Son of a bitch!
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull