1 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,883 FOR GENERATIONS OF HIGH-SCHOOLERS, 2 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,407 YOU COULD ONLY BE A JOCK, A GEEK, 3 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,968 A PRINCESS, A BULLY OR A BASKET CASE. 4 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,724 BUT TIMES HAVE CHANGED. 5 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,450 JOCKS PLAY VIDEO GAMES. 6 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,807 PRINCESSES ARE ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS. 7 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,486 AND GEEKS BASICALLY RUN THE COUNTRY. 8 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,407 I THOUGHT WE WERE LIVING IN A BRAVE NEW WORLD, 9 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:54,891 A PLACE WITHOUT LABELS. 10 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,691 BUT EVERY SO OFTEN, THERE'S THAT ONE MOMENT IN HIGH SCHOOL 11 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,083 THAT CHANGES YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON EVERYTHING. 12 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:03,767 OOH. SHOWTIME. 13 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,560 AND FOR ME, IT HAPPENED SENIOR YEAR, 14 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,364 ABOUT A MONTH BEFORE HOMECOMING. 15 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,046 I WAS CRUISING THE HALLS WITH MY TWO BEST FRIENDS. 16 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,361 JESS HARRIS. 17 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,164 I WOULD BANG HER SO HARD WE'D BOTH NEED HELMETS. 18 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,641 YEAH, THAT'S NOT ME. 19 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,404 CASEY CORDERO. 20 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,442 I WOULD PLAY "CALL OF DUTY" WITH HER... YEAH. 21 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,967 ALL NIGHT. WAIT, WHAT? 22 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,885 AND BANG HER HARD TOO, TO THE POINT OF NEEDING HELMETS. 23 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,530 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. THAT TOO, YEAH. 24 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,809 NOPE, NOT ME, EITHER. 25 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,770 SHAW'S OVER. JUST BIANCA. 26 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,964 THAT'S ME. 27 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,729 MARTIN VAN BUREN. NICKELBACK. 28 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,042 ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM. 29 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,441 AH? 30 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,647 JESS HAS THE HOTTEST ASS. 31 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,167 CASEY HAS THE HOTTEST RACK. 32 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,927 BIANCA, SHE HAS THE HOTTEST FRIENDS. 33 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:36,525 YEAH. YEAH. 34 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,724 HOMECOMING TICKETS, HOMECOMING. 35 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,848 HEY, GET YOUR HOMECOMING TICKETS NOW. 36 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,571 HALF PRICE NOW OR DOUBLE AT THE DOOR. WE'RE GONNA BE LATE. 37 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,404 HEY, JESS. HEY, CASEY. HOMECOMING TICKETS? 38 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,040 OH, WE BOUGHT OURS ONLINE. ALL RIGHT, COOL. SEE YOU THERE. 39 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,329 THANKS. AND I WILL NOT BE ATTENDING, SO... 40 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,000 OH, MY GOD, YOU DO THIS BEFORE EVERY DANCE. 41 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,003 YEAH, BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING. 42 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,206 THERE'S A VINCENT PRICE MARATHON ON, SO I GOTTA WATCH THAT. 43 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,761 WHO'S THAT? UGH. 44 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,924 SHIT, THERE'S SEÑOR GOMEZ. I'M FAILING SPANISH. 45 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,127 OKAY. 46 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,203 MINI STALIN, DEAD AHEAD. 47 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,089 MEET MADISON MORGAN. 48 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,642 AS SHE WOULD TELL YOU HERSELF, SHE'S THE HOTTEST GIRL IN SCHOOL. 49 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,325 EVEN THE GAY GUYS WANNA DATE HER. 50 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,966 I WOULD TOTALLY BANG THE SHIT OUT OF HER. 51 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,201 BUT I WOULDN'T LIKE IT. 52 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,490 LOVE. 53 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,044 SORRY. 54 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,809 SO, YEAH, SHE WAS A BITCH. 55 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,651 WERE WE FAKE FRIENDS WITH HER? KIND OF. 56 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,447 GIRLS, PARTY AT MY PLACE. I'M SURE YOU'VE HEARD OF IT. 57 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,967 CAN YOU MAKE SURE YOU GET AN INSERT SHOT OF THEM OPENING IT? 58 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,281 YEP, ON IT. 59 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,364 OH, YEAH, I'M DOING A VIDEO ABOUT THE PARTY FOR MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL. 60 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,251 WOW, WAIT, YOU'RE HAVING A PARTY ON A WEDNESDAY? 61 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,051 ON A SCHOOL NIGHT? YEAH, I CAN DO THAT. 62 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,690 DAMN, DUDE. ALL RIGHT. 63 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,251 WELL, YEAH, WE'RE IN. 64 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,249 OOH, UM... 65 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,922 BIANCA, YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN ACTUAL INVITE TO GET IN, 66 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:24,491 AND I ONLY HAVE A CERTAIN AMOUNT. 67 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,962 BUT, UM, IF ANYTHING CHANGES, I'LL LET YOU KNOW. 68 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,889 PROBLEM SOLVED. OH, HEY. 69 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,525 LOOK AT THAT. 70 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,521 WONDERFUL. HEH. MM. 71 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,648 CAN'T WAIT. SHOULD I BRING ANYTHING OR...? 72 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:37,881 WE'LL... OKAY. 73 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,089 ANUPAM AND LENA, WHERE ARE WE ON THE SCHOOL-LUNCH ARTICLE? 74 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:48,367 UH, WE THOUGHT WE WOULD MAKE IT ABOUT HOW THE PRICES OF ICE CREAM 75 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,046 HAVE GONE UP 15 CENTS IN THE CAFETERIA AND... 76 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,851 THAT'S A BIT VANILLA. PARDON THE PUN. 77 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,731 BUT YOU'RE MISSING THE MEAT OF THE STORY. 78 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,962 OUR SCHOOL SERVES PIZZA FIVE DAYS A WEEK, 79 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,407 PAID BY TAXPAYER MONEY 80 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,167 THAT IS USED TO COVER US AGAINST PIZZA-INDUCED DIABETES. 81 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,408 NOW, THAT'S A SCHOOL-LUNCH STORY. BOOM. 82 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,403 COPY THAT, CIRCLE IT, WRITE IT. 83 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,370 HUH? NAILED IT. I'M SO PROUD OF ME. 84 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,480 WE CAME UP WITH THAT IDEA TOGETHER, BUT MOSTLY ME. 85 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,251 OKAY, NEXT UP, FINAL ASSIGNMENT, ALL RIGHT? 86 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,880 IT'S A DOOZY, BUT IT'S A REAL FEATHER IN THE CAP 87 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,360 FOR ANY REPORTER WORTH THEIR SALT 88 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,926 THAT WANTS TO COMMENT ON THE SOCIAL LIFE OF THIS SCHOOL. 89 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,730 ANYONE? 90 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,366 NOT ALL AT ONCE. 91 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,411 NO ONE? 92 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,491 NO ONE AT ALL? ANY TAKERS? 93 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,405 BIANCA. 94 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,409 JUST THE GAL I WAS HOPING FOR. 95 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,682 HELLO. OKAY. 96 00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,808 I WANT YOU TO STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE 97 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,804 AND BRING YOUR SPECIAL BRAND OF JOURNALISTIC GRAVITAS 98 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,645 TO AN ARTICLE ABOUT HOMECOMING. 99 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,685 SPECIFICALLY, WHAT HOMECOMING MEANS TO ME. 100 00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:53,525 I MEAN, NOT TO ME. I NEVER WENT TO A DANCE WHEN I WAS A KID. 101 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:57,082 KIND OF A NERD. SORRY TO INTERRUPT, MR. ARTHUR, HEH, 102 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,368 BUT, UM, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I'M... 103 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:04,367 YOU'RE HONORED AND THRILLED TO LEND THAT BIANCA PIPER MAGIC? 104 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,851 YOU WANNA DO YOUR THING 105 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,844 AND PUT SOME STUFF IN THE WORDS AND MAKE IT POP? 106 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,809 THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU. 107 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,360 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. "NO, YOU DIDN'T. I DIDN'T SAY..." 108 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:14,970 YES, YOU DID. AND THANK... 109 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,521 "NO, I DIDN'T, I DIDN'T." YES, YOU DID. 110 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,330 AND I THANK YOU. 111 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,041 YOU DID. AND I THANK YOU. 112 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,601 YEAH, THAT'S NOT WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THAT. 113 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,723 I'M SORRY, "WHAT HOMECOMING MEANS TO ME"? 114 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,325 WHAT ARE WE, 5 YEARS OLD? 115 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,130 WHAT IS THIS? LOOK, I'M SORRY, B. 116 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:37,282 I KNOW IT SUCKS, BUT MAYBE IT'S THE UNIVERSE 117 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,885 TELLING YOU, YOU NEED TO BE THERE. 118 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,969 PLEASE DON'T START WITH THE UNIVERSE WITH ME 119 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,485 THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING, OKAY? 120 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,927 EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE CAN SUCK IT. 121 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,809 OKAY, IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. 122 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,486 HO, HO. WELL, THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. 123 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,847 I DON'T HAVE A DATE. I CAN FIX THAT. 124 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,048 UM... JACK REBIS. MM. TINY HANDS. 125 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,248 MARK WARSHAW? SMELLS LIKE TRASH. 126 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:04,083 CHARLIE PIPER. 127 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,685 MY COUSIN CHARLIE PIPER? 128 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,804 WELL, PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT. 129 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,247 OKAY, I WILL KEEP LOOKING. 130 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,325 WE'LL FIND SOMEONE. 131 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,131 ALTHOUGH JESS' MENU OF DUDES WAS NEVER-ENDING, 132 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,442 THERE WAS ONLY ONE GUY I WANTED TO BE MY DATE. 133 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,363 AND THAT'S HIM, TOBY TUCKER. 134 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,250 I COULDN'T WORK UP THE COURAGE TO SAY THREE WORDS TO TOBY. 135 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:43,965 NO, LITERALLY, THREE WORDS. 136 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,364 OKAY, BYE. 137 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,571 UGH. 138 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,408 WHOO! WE'RE GONNA KICK SOME ASS! 139 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,403 JEEZ. I'LL SEE YOU LATER, BRO. 140 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,483 YOU KNOW THOSE PEOPLE YOU GROW UP WITH, 141 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,927 MAYBE YOU TOOK BATHS WITH THEM WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, 142 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,771 BUT NOW THEY JUST ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF YOU? 143 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:08,282 I GIVE YOU WESLEY RUSH. 144 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,326 HEY, NEIGHBOR. WESLEY. 145 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,921 SAW YOU WATCHING SOME WEIRD JAPANESE HORROR MOVIE LAST NIGHT. 146 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,561 WERE YOU SPYING ON ME? 147 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,080 A, DON'T LEAVE YOUR CURTAINS OPEN, 148 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,601 AND TWO, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO MISS A BUNCH OF JAPANESE PEOPLE 149 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,728 RUNNING AND SCREAMING FOR THEIR LIVES. 150 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,121 LOOKED HORRIBLE, BY THE WAY, ALL THAT READING. 151 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,331 THOSE WOULD BE SUBTITLES. 152 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,403 SUPER. WHERE ARE YOUR GIRLS AT? 153 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,687 WHO WANTS TO KNOW? THE ONLY MAN IN YOUR LIFE. 154 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,161 MM, WESLEY, YOU WOULDN'T BE IN MY LIFE 155 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,800 IF YOU WERE THE ONLY MAN LEFT ON THE PLANET. 156 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,490 AW. STICKS AND STONES, B. 157 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,290 SPEAKING OF STONES, ROCK-HARD ABS. 158 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:51,805 NO, NO. TOUCH THEM. 159 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,962 NO, NO ONE WANTS THAT. GRAZE THEM. 160 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,043 HEY, THERE YOU ARE. 161 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,322 WESLEY AND MADISON WERE KNOWN AROUND SCHOOL 162 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,005 AS "THE RELATIONSHIP STROBE LIGHT." 163 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,243 ON AGAIN, OFF AGAIN, A THOUSAND TIMES. 164 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,165 OKAY. 165 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,605 OH. BIANCA. WELL, THIS IS AWKW... 166 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:18,005 SORRY, WERE YOU JUST HITTING ON MY EX-BOYFRIEND? 167 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,204 NO, NO. JUST HAVING SOME ME TIME AT MY LOCKER. 168 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,283 HE APPROACHED ME. OH. TOTALLY. 169 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,249 I AGREE. THAT COULD NEVER HAPPEN. 170 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,640 I KNOW YOU MISS ME. 171 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,124 THAT'S A HEALTHY THING YOU'VE GOT GOING. 172 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,009 LATER, B. 173 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,411 B, IT'S A PARTY. 174 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,204 YOU SHOULD WEAR SOMETHING CUTE. 175 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,601 HERE. LOTS OF OPTIONS FOR YOU. 176 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,127 HOW ABOUT THIS? 177 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,327 PRETTY. 178 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,569 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, UNDERWEAR? NO, IT'S A CAMISOLE. 179 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,800 NO? NOT FOR YOU? OKAY. UM... 180 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:59,488 OOH. HOW ABOUT THIS? IT'S A LITTLE DARKER, KIND OF SEXY. HMM? 181 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,524 FINE. ALTHOUGH I DID HEAR TOBY'S GONNA BE AT THE PARTY TONIGHT. 182 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,205 OH, LIKE THAT WOULD MATTER. 183 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,488 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S GONNA SAY ANYTHING TO HIM. 184 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:12,531 EXCUSE ME, I MIGHT. MM? 185 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:14,405 MAYBE I'LL, YOU KNOW... 186 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,170 YEAH, ON SECOND THOUGHT, 187 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:23,167 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA STICK WITH THE OLD LUCKY PARTY SHIRT. 188 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,288 WAIT FOR IT. BIANCA, DON'T DO IT. 189 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,885 HUH? B. 190 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,166 SAYS IT ON THERE. 191 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,446 NO. MM-MM. 192 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,090 AND, YOU KNOW, MAYBE... NO. 193 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,766 I'LL ROUND IT OUTWITH OLD TRUSTY... NOT THE FLANNEL. 194 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,570 NICE MUTED TONES. NO. 195 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,370 THAT IS NOT A GOOD LOOK. 196 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,251 THIS IS A GOOD LOOK. 197 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,084 AND THAT'S MY MOM. 198 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,887 THREE YEARS AGO MY DAD LEFT HER, AND SHE DID NOT HANDLE IT WELL. 199 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,004 BUT ONE NIGHT DIVINE INSPIRATION STRUCK. 200 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,447 YOU CAN EXPECT TO GO THROUGH FIVE STAGES. 201 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,206 THE FIRST IS DENIAL. NO WAY, BECAUSE I'M NOT DYING. 202 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,250 SECOND IS ANGER. WHY, YOU LITTLE... AGH! 203 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,890 AFTER THAT COMES FEAR. 204 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,088 WHAT'S AFTER FEAR? BARGAINING. 205 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,720 GET ME OUT OF THIS. I'LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE. 206 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:13,566 FINALLY, ACCEPTANCE. WELL, WE ALL GOTTA GO SOMETIME. 207 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,405 AND JUST LIKE THAT, SHE BECAME DOTTIE PIPER, 208 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,404 LOCAL CELEBRITY TO THE 40-AND-OVER SELF-HELP CROWD, 209 00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,643 ALL-AROUND ROCK STAR AND OCCASIONAL MOM. 210 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,247 ALL RIGHT, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 211 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,722 I WAS IN THE DEPRESSION STAGE ABOUT MY EX, 212 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,531 BUT I COMBINED MY EX WITH "DEPRESSION," 213 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:35,648 AND I GOT "EXPRESSION." 214 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,008 IF YOU GIRLS WANNA REALLY KNOCK THE BOYS OUT, 215 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,403 YOU SHOULD PROJECT BOLDNESS WITH A POWER PANTSUIT COMBO. 216 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,169 I'M GONNA LOOK LIKE HILLARY CLINTON, MOM. 217 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,651 I KNOW, RIGHT? 218 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,088 OKAY, KIDS, ENJOY YOUR PARTY. I LOVE YOU. I HAVE ANOTHER SEMINAR TO PREP FOR. 219 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,242 OKAY, BYE. BYE. 220 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,520 I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT. CAITLYN, CAN YOU MAKE SURE 221 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,450 YOU GET A SHOT OF THE DESSERTS? JESS, HAIR'S LOOKING GOOD. 222 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,886 UGH. SHE NEEDS A BLOW-OUT. 223 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,724 HERE, KELLY, TAKE THE BLUE ONES. 224 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,168 THEY'RE SUGAR-FREE, AND I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO WATCH THAT KIND OF THING. 225 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:20,206 WHAT? 226 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,840 YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. 227 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,250 WESLEY? AGH! 228 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,004 CAITLYN. 229 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,770 HEY, MADS. 230 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,482 REALLY? WITH THIS? DOES SHE HAVE TO FILM EVERYTHING? 231 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,530 WESLEY, I'M WHAT'S KNOWN AS PRE-FAMOUS. 232 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,206 MY LIFE IS AN AUDITION FOR REALITY TV. 233 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,728 SO, YEAH, UM, I NEED TO CHRONICLE EVERYTHING. 234 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,120 THAT WAS A GOOD TAKE FOR ME. GET A WIDE SHOT TOO. 235 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,730 HEY, CAITLYN, TAKE FIVE. 236 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,530 THANKS. EW. 237 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,684 THIS IS WHY WE ARE NOT DATING, OKAY? 238 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,724 BECAUSE YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A JUVENILE DIPSHIT. 239 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,888 I COULD BE DATING COLLEGE GUYS... YEAH. 240 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,169 OR FAMOUS PEOPLE OR BO-YEAR-OLDS. 241 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,209 THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN AWESOME EPISODE OF DATELINE. 242 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:09,850 ENJOY THOSE SAGGY BALLS. 243 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,970 FINE, I WILL. UGH. 244 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,210 COME ON, MAN. 245 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,127 GUYS, I DON'T SEE TOBY. 246 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,448 I DON'T KNOW WHERE TOBY IS. COME DANCE WITH US. 247 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,000 DO YOU THINK HE DIDN'T COME? 248 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,248 PARTY POOPER. NO, NO, GUYS, I DON'T DANCE. 249 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,562 COME ON, B. COME ON, B. 250 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,405 NO, NO, NO. YEAH, YOU DO. COME ON, YOU DANCE. 251 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,846 YOU DO. COME ON. 252 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,609 COME ON. OKAY. 253 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,000 THERE YOU GO. HEY. 254 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,686 HEY. OOH, LOOK AT THOSE MOVES. WHOO! 255 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,571 SEE? OH, MAN, ALL THIS DANCING 256 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,400 MADE ME SO THIRSTY. I'M GONNA GET A DRINK. 257 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,284 B, REALLY? 258 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,450 LET YOU GET AWAY 259 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,080 NOW, DON'T GO AWAY 260 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,523 MY DARLING DON'T GO AWAY 261 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,286 HEY, BILLY. 262 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,010 NO, JUST BIANCA. JESUS. 263 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,770 LOOKING VERY HANDSOME TONIGHT. 264 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,445 WHY, THANK YOU. 265 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,761 HAVING FUN AT THE PARTY? 266 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,442 YEAH, ACTUALLY, YOUR GIRLS ARE LOOKING INCREDIBLE OUT THERE. 267 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,045 HAVE THEY ASKED ABOUT ME? 268 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,850 WHEN I TOLD THEM THAT YOU WERE HERE, 269 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,722 THEIR EYES FILLED WITH THIS, LIKE, SPARKLE, YOU KNOW, WITH, LIKE, CHILDLIKE WONDER, 270 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,247 AND THEN THEY JUST STARTED DANCING TOGETHER. 271 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,129 IT WAS KIND OF BEAUTIFUL. YEAH, IT WAS. 272 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:39,080 DO THEY DO OTHER THINGS TOGETHER 273 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,447 THAT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO JOIN IN ON OR JUST WATCH? 274 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,410 I'M KIDDING. NOT KIDDING AT ALL. TELL ME EVERYTHING. 275 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,325 YEAH, IT'S ACTUALLY NOT MY JOB TO GIVE YOU PERVY INTEL 276 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,563 ON MY BEST FRIENDS, BUT THANKS. WELL, I MEAN, IT KIND OF IS, THOUGH. 277 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,404 PEOPLE ASK YOU QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM, RIGHT, 278 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,608 BECAUSE THAT'S YOUR JOB AS THEIR DUFF. 279 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,842 SORRY, AS THEIR WHAT? 280 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,168 DUFF. D-U-F-F. 281 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:01,924 DESIGNATED UGLY FAT FRIEND. 282 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,050 WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME? 283 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,569 IT'S NOT LIKE A BIG DEAL, OKAY? I MEAN, LIKE, EVERY GROUP OF FRIENDS HAS ONE. 284 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,650 THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LOOK AS GOOD, THUS MAKING THEIR FRIENDS LOOK BETTER. 285 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,485 THE ONE WHO'S APPROACHABLE AND EASY TO TALK TO, 286 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,480 BECAUSE NO ONE'S TRYING TO GET IN THEIR PANTS. 287 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,928 AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS, CHANCES ARE IT'S YOU. 288 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,970 SAY WHEN. SAY... 289 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,523 OKAY, LOOK, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, ALL RIGHT? URN... 290 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,650 THE DUFF DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SOME HEINOUS BEAST, ALL RIGHT? 291 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,484 TAKE A LOOK AT ROBIN. 292 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:34,885 ROBIN'S, LIKE, SUPER CUTE. 293 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,805 OKAY, BUT HER FRIENDS ARE SUPER HOT. 294 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,849 OH, GOD, THAT IS SUCH A GUY THING TO SAY. 295 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,690 GUYS CAN BE DUFFS TOO, OKAY? 296 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,002 YOU KNOW MY BOY A.J., FRESHMAN ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM? 297 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,280 WE'RE IN CHEMISTRY TOGETHER. 298 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,767 NOW HE'S DOING THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT JOB A DUFF CAN DO, 299 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,440 ACTING AS, LIKE, THE GATEKEEPER TO THEIR BETTER-LOOKING FRIENDS. 300 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,006 THE GUY WITH THE INFO PEOPLE GO TO BEFORE THEY MAKE THEIR MOVE. 301 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,367 WATCH, WATCH. IS IT TRUE WES IS SINGLE? 302 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,363 AHEM. UH, SURE IS, YEAH. 303 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,803 GOT IT. THANKS, A.J. YOU'RE SWEET. 304 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,522 HI. HEY, WES. 305 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,126 SEE? SHE GETS HER INFO, HE GETS TO TALK TO A HOT SENIOR. 306 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,480 EVEN GOT A LITTLE ACTION. I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. 307 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,404 IT'S KIND OF LIKE US RIGHT NOW. 308 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,450 EXCUSE ME, THAT IS NOT LIKE US RIGHT NOW. 309 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,761 B, ON AN AVERAGE DAY, 310 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,127 HOW MANY GUYS ASK YOU QUESTIONS ABOUT JESS AND CASEY? 311 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,329 I DON'T KNOW. IT'S A FAIR AMOUNT. OKAY. 312 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,165 ON AN AVERAGE DAY, HOW MANY GUYS ASK YOU QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU? 313 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,481 SEE? YOU FRIENDED UP, OKAY? 314 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,047 GOOD FOR YOU. GOOD TALK. YOU KNOW WHAT? GET BACK OUT THERE. 315 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,690 HAVE SOME... 316 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,527 HEY, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR? 317 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,001 STUPID WES. 318 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,083 IT'S NOT EVEN... 319 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,689 REALLY? 320 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:26,849 OH, GOD. 321 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,369 I AM THE DUFF. 322 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,929 IMPRESS ME TO GET TO MY FRIENDS. 323 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,764 I AM THE GATEKEEPER. 324 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,883 I'M NOT THE DUFF. 325 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,560 HEY, DUFFY. 326 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,768 SHOULDN'T YOU BE WORKING WITH A PARTNER? 327 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,490 SHOULDN'T YOU BE WORKING AT ALL? 328 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,768 LAB PARTNER'S GOT THIS. 329 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,891 OH, BOY. CLEARLY. 330 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,930 BILL NYE OVER THERE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S ABOUT TO DRINK THAT ACID. 331 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,171 I WORK ALONE. 332 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,641 TAKE A HINT. WHY ARE YOU SO GRUMPY? 333 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:31,043 YOU KNOW, I SHOULD BE MAD AT YOU. YOU RUINED MY FAVORITE SHIRT. 334 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,005 YOU CALLED ME FAT AND UGLY, WESLEY. 335 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,925 WHAT? NO, I DIDN'T. I CALLED YOU THE DUFF. 336 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,127 YEAH, EXCUSE ME. 337 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:43,001 IT'S JUST THAT STANDS FOR DESIGNATED UGLY FAT FRIEND, DICK FACE. 338 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,322 YOU CAN'T TAKE IT LITERALLY, OKAY? 339 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,324 I MEAN, THE DUFF DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAVE TO BE FAT OR UGLY. 340 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,360 YOU KNOW, LIKE TONY ROMO, HE'S A DALLAS COWBOY. 341 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,410 IT'S NOT LIKE HE RIDES A HORSE, RIGHT? 342 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,847 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 343 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,004 I'M JUST SAYING, I WOULD NEVER CALL ANYONE FAT OR UGLY. 344 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,162 OKAY? THAT'S MESSED UP. 345 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,687 BUT IT'S THE WORD AND IT STUCK. IT'S A CATCHALL. 346 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,287 OH, MY GOD. GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I MURDER YOU. 347 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,046 ARE YOU KIDDING? OKAY. I'LL MURDER YOU. 348 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,963 B, WHERE THE HELL'D YOU GO? 349 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,963 HOME. WASN'T FEELING GOOD. 350 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:20,043 OH, WELL, YOU DIDN'T REALLY MISS MUCH. 351 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,601 YEAH, EXCEPT JESS MAKING OUT WITH RYAN JENSEN, 352 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,086 THE COPS BUSTING UP THE PARTY, 353 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,891 AND, LIKE, EVERYONE TP'ING REBECCA CUTTER'S HOUSE. 354 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,247 SHE'S RIGHT, IT WAS PRETTY AWESOME. 355 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,570 HELLO? ARE YOU OKAY? 356 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,722 YEAH, JUST GET THE FOOD. 357 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,531 HEY THERE, JESS AND CASEY. HEY 358 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:39,927 HEY, ELAINE. 359 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,923 HEY, YOU. 360 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,925 HEY, JEFFREY. 361 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,764 IT WAS BECOMING HARDER AND HARDER TO DENY THE TRUTH. 362 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,611 WITHOUT JESS AND CASEY... HEY, JESS, CASEY. 363 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,370 HEY, PRINCIPAL BUCHANON. 364 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,329 I CEASED TO BE. 365 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,529 GIRLS, PARTY AT MY PLACE. 366 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,285 HEY, JESS. HEY, CASEY. 367 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,411 HOLY SHIT. I WAS THE DUFF. 368 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,601 JESS AND CASEY. JESS AND CASEY. 369 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,724 JESS AND CASEY. 370 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,128 JESS AND CASEY. 371 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,402 WHY WAS I BOSLEY? THERE WERE THREE ANGELS. 372 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,971 OKAY. 373 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,800 YOU KNOW IN BATMAN WHEN THAT GUY FALLS INTO THE VAT OF ACID 374 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,081 AND BECOMES THE JOKER? 375 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,083 THIS WAS MY "VAT OF ACID" MOMENT. 376 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,005 MY BEST FRIENDS MADE ME THE DUFF. 377 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,130 AND THAT MADE ME... 378 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,811 ANGRY. 379 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:49,090 BIANCA, LET'S GO. YOU'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL. 380 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,527 THE WORLD GAVE ME THE GIFT OF IN VISIBILITY, 381 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,286 A LICENSE TO NOT GIVE A SHIT. 382 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,528 YOU LOOK CRAZY. 383 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,603 CRAZY AMAZING. 384 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,206 OH, GOD, EVEN MY CAR'S A DUFF. 385 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,484 I COULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT JESS AND CASEY, THEY MADE ME SO MAD. 386 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,804 OUR ENTIRE FRIENDSHIP WAS A SHAM, AND EVERYONE KNEW BUT ME. 387 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,883 HEY, B, WILL YOU TAKE A LOOK AT MY FASHION PIECE? 388 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,451 I NEED A LAYMAN'S OPINION. 389 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,247 YOU'RE AWARE I'M A WOMAN, RIGHT? 390 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,162 WHAT? OH, NO. "LAYMAN," IT'S JUST A PHRASE. 391 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,129 I JUST MEAN YOU'RE NOT A FASHION EXPERT. 392 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,964 OH, SO I HAVE BAD STYLE? 393 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,007 WHOA, SOMEONE'S IN A MOOD. LIGHTEN UP. 394 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,731 LIGHTEN UP? BECAUSE I'M SO HEAVY? 395 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,721 IS THERE A PROBLEM? 396 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,969 OUTSIDE. 397 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,807 HOW COULD YOU GUYS NOT TELL ME THIS WHOLE TIME THAT I WAS YOUR DUFF? 398 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,646 OUR WHAT? YOUR DESIGNATED UGLY FAT FRIEND. 399 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,246 YEAH, YEAH. WESLEY TOLD ME EVERYTHING. 400 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,410 HA, HA. HE CAN'T EVEN SPELL. 401 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,722 THAT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY CREATIVE FOR WES. 402 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,042 SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE WHAT WESLEY RUSH SAYS? 403 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,083 HE SAYS CRAZY STUFF ALL THE TIME. 404 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:35,685 UH, BECAUSE IT MAKES SENSE. 405 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:39,083 I MEAN, WHY ELSE WOULD TWO SUPER-HOT, POPULAR GIRLS 406 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:40,765 WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEBODY LIKE ME? 407 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,406 IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE USING ME TO MAKE YOURSELVES LOOK BETTER. 408 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,245 OKAY, JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK ONE OF US IS BETTER-LOOKING THAN YOU... 409 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,051 OH, MY GOD. THERE IT IS, THERE IT IS. YOU KNOW WHAT? NO, NO, NO. 410 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,281 I'M GLAD YOU SAID THAT, 411 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,161 BECAUSE IT MAKES WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO A WHOLE LOT EASIER. 412 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,251 YEAH, GO AHEAD AND CHECK THEM. 413 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,409 DID YOU JUST UNFRIEND ME? 414 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,291 YOU BET YOUR ASS I DID. 415 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,810 WELL, FINE. 416 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,725 THEN I AM TAKING YOU OFF OF INSTAGRAM. 417 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,085 WELL, HALLELUJAH, OKAY? 418 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,289 I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT PICTURES OF YOUR ARTISANAL CAPPUCCINOS EVERY MORNING. 419 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,488 HOW DARE YOU? YOU LOVE THOSE FOAM FACES. 420 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,369 THEY'RE FOAM-TASTIC. SHH. 421 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,488 LOOK, WE'RE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING OVER HERE. 422 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,130 GUESS WHAT ELSE. 423 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,282 UNFOLLOWED Y'ALL ON TWITTER. 424 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,762 OH, PERFECT. NO MORE OF BIANCA'S ALMOST-IRONIC TWEETS FOR THE DAY. 425 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,161 HEH. OH, THAT'S RICH, COMING FROM THIS GUY 426 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:36,924 WHO'S RT'ING THEM ALL DAY LONG. 427 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,366 THEY'RE PITY RTS. 428 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:40,841 YOU KNOW WHAT? 429 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,844 I'M TAKING YOU OFF OF MY WE HEART IT AND MY VINE FEED. 430 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,367 OH, GREAT, BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOUR LOOPS, OKAY? 431 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,410 AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I'M BLOCKING YOUR ASS ON TUMBLR. 432 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,562 AND YOU, YOU'RE OFF MY SNAPCHAT. 433 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,370 WELL, FINE. 434 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,842 FINE. FINE. 435 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,480 I'M A FREE WOMAN. 436 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,489 AND DON'T YOU DARE BE CREEPING ON MY PINTEREST, WHORES. 437 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,689 I'M SO SORRY, SUSAN. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. 438 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,922 WES HAD MADE ME SEE THE SCHOOL DIFFERENTLY, 439 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,287 AND I WASN'T HAPPY ABOUT IT. 440 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,650 IT DIDN'T MATTER WHAT GROUP YOU WERE IN, IT WAS UNAVOIDABLE. 441 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,644 EVEN IF YOU WEREN'T IN A GROUP, LIKE CREEPY CARRIE RASKOWITZ. 442 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,087 I'M MY OWN BEST FRIEND. 443 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:38,720 DID ANY OF THESE PEOPLE KNOW 444 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,161 WHERE THEY STOOD IN THE SOCIAL HIERARCHY? 445 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:52,929 COOL SOCKS. 446 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,406 REALLY DIG THEM. 447 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,442 I WANNA MAKE OUT WITH YOUR FACE. 448 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,725 GOOD, BECAUSE MY FACE WANTS YOU TO MAKE OUT WITH IT. 449 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,329 SOCKS? 450 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,250 THEY... 451 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,490 WHAT THE...? 452 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,803 I NEVER KNEW WHY I COULDN'T TALK TO TOBY. 453 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,610 NOW I DID. 454 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,168 BECAUSE, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN SCHOOL, HE KNEW WHAT I WAS. 455 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,641 AND SUBCONSCIOUSLY I KNEW IT TOO. 456 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,121 IT WAS ALL SO EASY FOR WES. HA, HA. 457 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,044 LOOK, I'M NO WINE EXPERT, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE 458 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,690 YOU MIX RED AND WHITE, YOU GET ROSE. 459 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,968 HE COULD TALK TO ANYONE. WESLEY. 460 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,201 BACK TO WORK. 461 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,120 TAKE A SEAT, MR. RUSH. 462 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,811 THAT'S YOUR THIRD F. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU. 463 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,760 BUT THE PRINCIPAL AND I TALKED AND WE DECIDED 464 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,923 UNTIL YOU GET YOUR GRADES UP, YOU'RE SUSPENDED FROM THE TEAM. 465 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,367 WELL, CAN'T WE TALK TO COACH GRANT ABOUT IT? 466 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,569 YEAH, COACH GRANT AGREES WITH MY DECISION. 467 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,323 OKAY, OKAY, LOOK, I CAN'T LOSE MY SCHOLARSHIP. 468 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,081 IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET INTO COLLEGE. 469 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,766 I WISH YOU WOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE. 470 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,240 YOU WANT ME TO WHAT? 471 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,244 I DON'T WANNA BE ANYBODY'S DUFF ANYMORE, OKAY? 472 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,209 I WANNA BE MY OWN PERSON. 473 00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:48,842 I'M TIRED OF BEING THE APPROACHABLE ONE. 474 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,247 I WANNA BE THE DATABLE ONE. 475 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,328 YOU'RE ASKING ME FOR DATING ADVICE? 476 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,324 TODAY OF ALL DAYS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 477 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,521 LOOK, I HAVE A CRUSH ON THIS BOY. 478 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,246 HIS NAME'S TOBY TUCKER. MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD OF HIM. 479 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,641 WELL, I CAN'T SEEM TO TALK TO HIM 480 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,041 WITHOUT MAKING A TOTAL ASS OF MYSELF, OKAY? 481 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,770 AND YOU NEVER SEEM TO HAVE THIS PROBLEM. 482 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,163 DON'T YOU HATE ME? I'M GLAD YOU ASKED. YES, I DO. 483 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,761 BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE A DIPSHIT AND A MAN-WHORE. 484 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,649 BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE IN THIS WHOLE SCHOOL 485 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,325 WHO TOLD ME WHAT WAS ACTUALLY GOING ON. 486 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,245 SO YOU'RE AN HONEST DIPSHIT, AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS. 487 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,765 THANKS? CAN WE JUST...? 488 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:25,445 CAN WE JUST COOL IT FOR A SECOND? 489 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,571 OKAY, HERE'S MY OFFER. 490 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:33,407 I WILL MAKE SURE YOU PASS SCIENCE IF YOU HELP ME WITH THIS. 491 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,404 I MEAN, YOU GOT THE EASY PART. YOU COULD PASS SCIENCE IN YOUR SLEEP. 492 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,450 I HAVE TO REVERSE-DUFF YOU. ARE YOU WEARING PAJAMAS? 493 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,807 OH, MY GOD. YOU KNOW, I GET IT WESLEY, OKAY? 494 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,327 I'M DISGUSTING. I'M A SWAMP THING. 495 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,245 I'M A REGULAR BELA LUGOSI. WHO? 496 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,240 I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE I THOUGHT THAT I COULD ASK YOU SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 497 00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:53,441 JUST FORGET IT. 498 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:57,002 YOU KNOW, HAVE FUN PLAYING INTRAMURAL WII GOLF THIS SEASON, DICK FACE. 499 00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:58,966 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 500 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:00,931 COME HERE. 501 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,811 LOOK, I'M AN IDIOT. 502 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,440 AND IDIOTS DON'T EXACTLY GIVE GREAT ADVICE. 503 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,287 WELL, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY. 504 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,966 IT'S NOT LIKE YOU COULD MAKE ME ANY MORE AWKWARD, RIGHT? 505 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:16,645 THAT'S TRUE. 506 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,246 SEE? IDIOT. 507 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,169 SO YOU'LL DO IT? 508 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,121 YEAH. YES. 509 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,406 ON ONE CONDITION. 510 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,602 YOU GOTTA ASK ME IN MONSTER VOICE. 511 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,206 WESLEY. MONSTER VOICE? YEAH. 512 00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:33,805 FROM WHEN WE WERE LITTLE? MM-HM. 513 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,928 NO, I DON'T... I DON'T REMEMBER IT. YOU SURE? 514 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,360 YES, I COULDN'T EVEN... OKAY. 515 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,005 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 516 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,724 BIANCA NEED WESLEY HELP. 517 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:50,090 PLEASE, WESLEY, HELP BIANCA? HA, HA. 518 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,680 THERE YOU GO. NOT BAD. YOU STILL GOT IT. 519 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,325 SO EASILY AMUSED. 520 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,165 WE GOT A DEAL? YEAH. 521 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,651 I WAS JUST GOING LOW, THAT'S ALL. JUST... 522 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,446 YES. ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 523 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,001 SO, YOU HAVE TO PASS THE CHEMISTRY MIDTERM, OKAY? 524 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,924 SO WE'LL FOCUS ON THAT FIRST. YEAH. 525 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,481 AND WHERE DO WE START WITH ME? 526 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,004 THE MALL, NOON, SATURDAY. ALL RIGHT, COOL. 527 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,003 WILL THERE BE A LOT OF WALKING, THOUGH? 528 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,527 BECAUSE I'LL WEAR MY SHAPE-UPS. HAVING SOME... 529 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,205 TEXT ME. 530 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,641 I WAS NERVOUS, RELYING ON THE SCHOOL NEANDERTHAL, 531 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,609 BUT WHAT WAS THE WORST HE COULD DO? 532 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,684 ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS? I'M NOT. 533 00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:31,367 WES, IF I WANTED TO GO SHOPPING AND TALK ABOUT GIRLY STUFF, 534 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,204 I COULD'VE DONE THAT WITH JESS AND CASEY. 535 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,806 I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME REAL TALK. REAL TALK? 536 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,560 YOU GOT A UNIBOOB, YOUR POSTURE SUCKS, AND YOUR CLOTHES FIT WEIRD 537 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,126 BECAUSE YOU WEAR THE WRONG SIZE BRA. BOOM, REAL TALK. 538 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,089 I WATCH A LOT OF PROJECT RUNWAY. WHAT'S UP? 539 00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,641 FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER, 540 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,410 SO TAKE SOME PRIDE IN YOUR APPEARANCE. 541 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,688 LADIES, THIS IS BIANCA. 542 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,446 TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER. I'M GONNA GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS SECTION. 543 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:54,971 WES, NO, DON'T GO. ACH. 544 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,043 UNIBOOBEN. SÍ, UNIBOOB. 545 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,244 WHAT DO YOU THINK? HEY, LOOK AT THOSE. 546 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,370 YOU... YOU LOOK GREAT. THANKS. THAT'S ENOUGH. 547 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,045 WELL, I KNOW MY BOOBS. OKAY. 548 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:12,924 CAN WE LEAVE? DEFINITELY NOT. 549 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,408 WE'VE GOT THE WHOLE PLACE. WE ARE JUST GETTING STARTED. 550 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,564 TIME TO SHOW THE WORLD WHO YOU ARE. 551 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,246 THE TRUTH IS, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE FROM YOUR CLOTHES, OKAY? 552 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,643 YOU NEED TO START DRESSING MORE LIKE YOU, AND LESS LIKE WRECK-IT RALPH. 553 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,800 FINE. DRESSING ROOMS ARE BACK THERE, 554 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,964 AND, UH, MAYBE TRY ON A NEW ATTITUDE WHILE YOU'RE AT IT. 555 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,171 GET IN THERE. 556 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,725 CAN WE PLEASE JUST MAKE THIS QUICK? 557 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,045 OKAY, NEXT. 558 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,480 TRY TO KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS. NEXT. 559 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,409 NOPE. THIS ONE MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE YET. 560 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,369 IT... IT'S NOT THAT BAD. 561 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,562 OKAY, PERFECT. HOLD THAT POSE. 562 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,006 ARE YOU FILMING ME? 563 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,208 GAME TAPE, FOR REVIEW. THIS IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE 564 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:12,046 WHEN YOU'RE NOT OVER-THINKING THINGS, ACTUALLY HAVING SOME FUN. 565 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:16,041 IF ANYBODY EVER SEES THIS, I'LL RIP YOUR NUT SACK OFF. 566 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:17,725 I'LL RIP IT RIGHT OFF. 567 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,527 OKAY. RIP IT. 568 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,160 SUPER AGGRESSIVE. LOOK, IF THIS IS GONNA WORK, 569 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,687 YOU GOTTA LIGHTEN UP, AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TRUST ME. 570 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,724 ALL RIGHT. 571 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,121 IT'S GO TIME. OKAY. 572 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,801 HERE WE GO. YEAH. 573 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:39,291 RUB THE BELLY. 574 00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,444 OH, UH-OH. 575 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,320 OH, YEAH. YOU GOT MOVES. 576 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,245 OH. NO. MM. 577 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,845 OKAY, DANCING MAKES IT WORSE. 578 00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,891 NO, NO, STILL WORSE. 579 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,930 IS THAT GOOD? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 580 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:04,570 ARE YOU TWERKING? 581 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,049 OOH. OH. 582 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,361 WHAT'S THAT? 583 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,045 OH, MY GOD. 584 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,924 THIS IS JUST GETTING WEIRD NOW. 585 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,169 LOOK OUT. OKAY. HEH. 586 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:21,890 IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD NOW. 587 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,686 WHOO! YEAH. WHOO! OKAY, I THINK... I THINK WE'RE GOOD. 588 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,444 WE'RE... NO? YOU'RE... 589 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:30,047 ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU, TOBY. 590 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,488 I'M REALLY, REALLY INTO YOU. 591 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,762 DON'T TELL ME. TELL TOBY. 592 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,969 TOBY TUCKER. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE HERE. 593 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,724 I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU. 594 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,326 LOOK AT ME, TOBY. 595 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,648 DON'T LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME. 596 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,201 PUT YOUR ARM AROUND ME. WHOOPS. 597 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:48,447 TOBY, HEH. 598 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,489 YOU'RE A LITTLE EXCITED, AREN'T YOU? TOBY... 599 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:55,602 TOBY, THAT IS UNBELIEVABLY INAPPROPRIATE. 600 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,524 BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL BAD. 601 00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:59,330 OKAY. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 602 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:02,689 OH, GOD, I WANT YOU SO BAD. TOBY... 603 00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,688 UH... I'M GONNA CHANGE. WE SHOULD... WE SHOULD GO. 604 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:18,246 WHAT THE SHIT? 605 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,491 YOU'RE MESSING WITH THE WRONG GIRL. 606 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,922 LOOKS LIKE THE LESSONS ARE OFF TO A REAL GREAT START THERE, COACHY. 607 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,765 OH, DID YOU HAVE FUN IN HERE? NO. 608 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,604 NO? HMM. 609 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,162 YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? HA-HA-HA. 610 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:34,771 OH, GOD, PLEASE, MAKE IT... 611 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:36,445 MAKE IT GO AWAY. IT'S VERY BAD. NO. 612 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,728 STEP THREE, OKAY? SMILE MORE. 613 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,564 YOU'RE REALLY CUTE WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN. 614 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:44,088 SO WE ARE OFF TO A GREAT START, SMART-ASS. 615 00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:57,365 TRY IT ON. 616 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,770 UM... 617 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:05,810 YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY TIRED. I THINK WE SHOULD JUST TAKE A BREAK. 618 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,291 OKAY. 619 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,488 ALL RIGHT, WHAT ARE YOU REALLY LOOKING TO GET OUT OF YOUR BOY, TONY? 620 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:15,846 TOBY. TUBA? 621 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,970 YOU WANNA BLOW HIS HORN? PUT YOUR HAND ON HIS INSTRUMENT? 622 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:20,685 LITTLE MEOW, MEOW, MEOW. UGH. 623 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,040 WAS THAT A LITTLE LAUGH? THERE WAS A LITTLE LAUGH THERE. 624 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,646 YOU LAUGHED. YOU DID LAUGH. I HAD A SMALL STROKE. 625 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,041 YEAH, LIKE A MIDGET JERKING IT. 626 00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:32,242 YOU GET IT? BECAUSE HE'S SMALL? 627 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,284 THAT WAS... 628 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:37,965 OKAY, FINE. 629 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:39,929 TALKING TO TOBY SCARES YOU, RIGHT? 630 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:44,881 THE ONLY WAY TO GET OVER IT IS TO FACE IT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. 631 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:46,769 SEE SWEATER GUY OVER THERE? 632 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,005 I WANT YOU TO WALK OVER AND GET HIS PHONE NUMBER. 633 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,124 NO. BE TOTALLY GANGSTER ABOUT IT, OKAY? 634 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,240 JUST SAY, "I COULD TELL FROM ACROSS THE ROOM WE MIGHT BE INTO EACH OTHER." 635 00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,045 NOW THAT I'M HERE, I KNOW IT. YOUR MOVE." 636 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,241 HAVE YOU MET ME? OKAY. 637 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,084 I COULDN'T GET THROUGH THREE WORDS OF THAT. 638 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:06,925 ALL RIGHT, WALK OVER AND SAY, "HEY THERE." 639 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,289 "HEY THERE"? HOP UP. 640 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,124 GET UP. 641 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,281 ALL RIGHT, DEEP BREATH. 642 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,124 SHOULDERS BACK. 643 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:17,406 LICK YOUR LIPS A LITTLE BIT. 644 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,730 AH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE LIPS. GO, STRUT YOUR STUFF. 645 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,201 LIKE A PEACOCK. SHH! 646 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:39,407 HEY THERE. 647 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,082 HEY THERE. 648 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:46,690 IS THAT A WIENER IN YOUR MOUTH OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME? 649 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,206 NO, IT'S A BRATWURST. 650 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,249 OH, YEAH. NO. UM... 651 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:56,485 BUT IS THERE A PLACE TO GET A HOT DOG HERE IN THIS MALL OR...? 652 00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,244 YEAH. 653 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,728 OH. HEY-OH. 654 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,087 TSS, PFFT. PFFT. RIGHT? 655 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,287 OKAY- OKAY. 656 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:06,930 BYE-BYE. 657 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:13,969 DID YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME, THOUGH? 658 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:15,646 OUT WHERE? 659 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,564 TO, UH, DATES? 660 00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:19,768 TO A DATE? ON A DATE? TO A DATE? 661 00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:22,325 NO. 662 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:23,921 NO. OKAY. 663 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,522 OH, YOU'RE GOOD. HUH? 664 00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:29,611 YOU'RE GOOD. OH. 665 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:30,841 WHERE ARE THE CAMERAS? 666 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,883 OH, OF COURSE. IT'S A YOUTUBE VIDEO, RIGHT? 667 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,605 IT'S A JOKE. IT'S A YOUTUBE VIDEO? 668 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,683 WHO WOULD WANNA GO OUT WITH THIS GUY, RIGHT? 669 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,723 OH, MAN, YOU'RE SO GOOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 670 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,285 THANK YOU. TOTALLY BELIEVABLE. 671 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:41,441 GREAT. THANK YOU. 672 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,648 HOW MANY HITS DID THIS GET? LOT OF HITS. 673 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,320 I'M TAKING A LOT OF HITS TODAY. ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU LATER. 674 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,606 COOL. OKAY. 675 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,809 WHERE CAN I FIND IT ONLINE? YEP, BYE. 676 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,209 MAN, SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS. 677 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,840 REALLY GOOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT, TEACH. 678 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,968 THAT WAS AN AWESOME LESSON. I'M HUMILIATED. 679 00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,441 OKAY, LOOK, IT WAS JUST THE TRYOUTS, ALL RIGHT? 680 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,841 WE'RE SIZING UP YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES. 681 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:06,646 AND? AND... 682 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,121 YOU'RE HORRIBLE. I HOPE YOU LIKE CATS. 683 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:10,441 KIDDING. 684 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,570 NEXT MISSION IS TO TALK TO 15 GUYS. 685 00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:18,009 YEAH, 15 GUYS, WITHOUT COMPLETELY FALLING APART, OKAY? 686 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,811 TAKE A FEW HITS. 687 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,365 AHEM. NOPE. OKAY. 688 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:32,764 I CAN DO THIS. HOW HARD COULD IT BE? JUST DO IT. 689 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,249 EXCUSE ME, I, UH... 690 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,249 CAN'T DO THIS. 691 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,687 HEY, I SEE YOU HAVE A REUSABLE BAG. 692 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,490 YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. 693 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,289 HEY, IS THIS SEAT TAKEN? 694 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:50,240 OH, YOU'RE BUSY. I'LL COME BACK A LITTLE LATER. 695 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,680 OH. WE HAVE TO STOP MEETING LIKE THIS. HEH. 696 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,446 YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING UP. 697 00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:00,080 BEST PART ABOUT IT IS IT'S GLASS. SURE, IT'S CUMBERSOME TO CARRY AROUND, 698 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:01,770 BUT I DON'T WANNA HAVE BREAST CANCER 699 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,566 BECAUSE I'M DRINKING OUT OF PLASTIC WATER BOTTLES MY WHOLE LIFE. 700 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,285 IT'S NOT REALLY WORTH IT, YOU KNOW. 701 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:10,161 LIKE, IN JAPAN, THE... YOU HAVE TO GO? OKAY. 702 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,043 LONG DAY, HUH? 703 00:38:19,240 --> 00:38:20,287 TOO LONG. 704 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,968 JUST GET OFF WORK? KIND OF. 705 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,407 DO YOU WORK HERE TOO? OH, I'M AT THE YOGURT PLACE. 706 00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,609 I'M A TOPPINGS CONSULTANT. 707 00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:33,411 OH, MY GOD. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY HAD THOSE. 708 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:37,770 I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN MAKING A LOT OF POOR CHOICES WITH MY TOPPINGS LATELY. 709 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,247 OH, HAVE YOU? WELL, I GOT A CARD I CAN GIVE YOU. 710 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:41,925 I'M ALLEN. HEY, BIANCA. 711 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,923 NICE TO MEET YOU, BIANCA. NICE TO MEET YOU. 712 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:45,809 ALL RIGHT, SO, WHAT'S THE NUMBER-ONE MISTAKE 713 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:47,640 THAT PEOPLE MAKE WHEN IT COMES TO TOPPINGS? 714 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,450 OOH. GOOD QUESTION. 715 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:50,931 GRANOLA. GRANOLA? 716 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,366 YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? YEAH. 717 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,724 WES, I DID IT. I JUST GOT THAT GUY'S NUMBER. 718 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,609 ATTAGIRL. I KNOW. 719 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,922 THINK I DESERVE A LITTLE TREAT. 720 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:06,607 I'M TELLING YOU, I'D REALLY LOST HOPE AROUND GUY 17, YOU KNOW. 721 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,728 THEN CAME GUY 21. COULDN'T SHUT HIM UP. 722 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,325 EASY. REAL CHATTY CATHY. 723 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,960 EASY. ALL RIGHT, DON'T GET COCKY. 724 00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,128 TODAY WAS ONLY DAY ONE. 725 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,931 STILL, IT FELT PRETTY GOOD, SO... 726 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,124 THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME. 727 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:23,766 ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU HELD UP YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN, 728 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,611 SO I GUESS I WILL HOLD UP MINE. 729 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:28,609 HERE ARE MY CHEMISTRY NOTES, OKAY? 730 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,963 LIVE BY THIS, AND YOU SHALL PASS THE MIDTERM. 731 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:33,645 YEAH. 732 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,450 UH... 733 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,962 ENTHALPY, ENTROPY- 734 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:40,770 PAULI EXCLUSION PRINCIPLE? 735 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,002 I WAS... WESLEY? 736 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,367 CAN WE RUN? SHE'S COMING OVER. 737 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,007 OH, MY GOD. WHAT A COINCIDENCE IT IS 738 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:50,650 SEEING YOU HERE. HEY. 739 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:54,202 SO, URN, YOU TWO, HUH? 740 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,531 WE'RE NOT... WE'RE NOT HERE TOGETHER. 741 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,081 WE JUST BUMPED INTO EACH OTHER HERE. 742 00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:04,211 YEAH. NO, OBVIOUSLY, I DON'T... I WOULDN'T WANNA BE... 743 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:05,850 I COULDN'T POSSIBLY CARE LESS. 744 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,604 CAITLYN, CAN YOU MAKE SURE YOU GET A SHOT 745 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:09,211 OF THEM TOGETHER, PLEASE? YEP. 746 00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:13,003 THAT'S WHAT SUCKING AT LIFE LOOKS LIKE. OH. 747 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,124 I'M GONNA, UH... 748 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,247 I'M GONNA GET STARTED. I HAVE TO... 749 00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:28,442 I AM LATE FOR AN EVENT. 750 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,285 YEAH. SO I'M GONNA... 751 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,041 MINE IS THIS WAY, THOUGH. 752 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:46,730 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 753 00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:48,206 OOH. HA-HA-HA. 754 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:52,604 YOU CAUGHT ME. I'M UPLOADING PICTURES TO MY PROFILE. 755 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,770 JUST HANG ON A SEC. THEY'RE STILL LOADING. 756 00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,123 SORRY, YOUR PROFILE FOR WHAT? 757 00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,044 A DATING SITE. I SIGNED UP FOR ALL OF THEM. 758 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,487 MATCH, EHARMONY, CHRISTIANMINGLE, JDATE. 759 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,246 JDATE? YOU'RE NOT JEWISH. 760 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,205 I KNOW. THAT JUST MAKES ME MORE EXOTIC ON THE SITE. 761 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,447 NOTE TO SELF. 762 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,364 OKAY, HERE WE GO. HERE'S MY PROFILE PIC. 763 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,887 TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. BE BRUTAL. OKAY. 764 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,566 OH, UH, YOU'RE GONNA USE THE BOOK PICTURE? 765 00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:18,165 OH, IS IT TOO FORMAL? 766 00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,527 WELL, IT IS A LITTLE... 767 00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:24,002 WELL, IT'S EITHER THAT OR ALL THE DUCK-HEAD POSES PEOPLE DO ON HERE. 768 00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:26,606 OH, NO, NO. 769 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,731 DEAR GOD, IT'S "DUCK FACE," AND STOP THAT FOREVER. 770 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:35,323 ALL RIGHT. I'M JUST TRYING TO GET MORE OF THESE THINGIES, THESE, UH, FLIRTIES. 771 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,211 HMM. THIS IS A TOUGH CONVERSATION FOR ME. 772 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,886 LET'S FOCUS ON THE PICTURE. UH, HERE WE GO. 773 00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,930 OH, LOOK, ARM-FOLD HEAD-TILT. THAT'S A CLASSIC. 774 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,606 I THINK WE CAN FIND SOMETHING BETTER. 775 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,489 LET'S SEE. OH, YEAH, WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE? 776 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,927 THIS IS A GOOD ONE. AW, HEH. 777 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:55,482 THAT WAS FLORIDA. SEEMS LIKE A LONG TIME AGO. 778 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,769 YEAH, YOU LOOK SO RELAXED AND HAPPY. YEAH, WELL, I WAS. 779 00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:00,410 THERE YOU GO. THANK YOU. 780 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,562 THIS GIRL'S GONNA HAVE THE FLIRTIES ROLLING IN. 781 00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:06,725 WELL, WE'LL SEE. THIS IS ALL SO NEW FOR ME. 782 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:11,490 WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE WE'RE BOTH TRYING NEW THINGS, THEN. 783 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,690 WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT IS A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED CRUSH ON A BOY. 784 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,611 OH. YEAH, HIS NAME IS TOBY. 785 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,370 TOBY. 786 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,049 YEAH, I WAS KIND OF HAVING TROUBLE GETTING HIM TO NOTICE ME, 787 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,170 SO I'VE BROUGHT ON A SENSEI. 788 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:29,927 WESLEY RUSH. 789 00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,489 WESLEY RUSH? 790 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,290 FROM NEXT DOOR? OKAY. 791 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,442 HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO JESS AND CASEY? 792 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,967 YOU ALWAYS TRUST THEIR ADVICE. 793 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,966 I JUST THOUGHT I'D BRANCH OUT. 794 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:44,811 OKAY. 795 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,720 ACTUALLY, I MEAN, WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS, I WAS AT... 796 00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:49,410 WAS THIS SENSEI THING YOUR IDEA? 797 00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,291 UH, YEAH, BUT I... GOOD. 798 00:42:52,720 --> 00:42:55,087 THAT MEANS YOU'RE BEING MENTALLY TOUGH AND MAKING DECISIONS. 799 00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:56,924 THAT'S WHAT HALF OF MY LAST BOOK WAS ABOUT. 800 00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,209 WHEN YOU BECOME PROACTIVE, YOUR PROBLEMS BECOME SUBTRACTIVE, 801 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,089 AND THEN GOOD THINGS ARE BOUND TO HAPPEN. 802 00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:06,882 WOW, OKAY. LITTLE OF THE OLD PROACTIVE, SUBTRACTIVE. 803 00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:10,328 GOT IT. I'LL REMEMBER THAT IF YOU REMEMBER NO MORE DUCK FACE. 804 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,649 NO DUCK HEAD. DUCK FACE. 805 00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,527 OH, I GOT A FLIRTY. 806 00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:20,921 MAZEL TOV, DOTTIE. 807 00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:26,681 DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WEARING FOR HOMECOMING YET? 808 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,127 BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING. DO YOU THINK SHORT, LONG? 809 00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,282 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 810 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:37,842 DESPITE MISSING MY EX-BEST FRIENDS, MY MOM WAS RIGHT. 811 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,128 I COULD SENSE THAT GOOD THINGS WERE ABOUT TO HAPPEN. 812 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:42,731 COME ON. 813 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,322 IT'S BEEN 2 WEEKS. THIS IS CRAZY. I KNOW. 814 00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:55,202 TOBY TUCKER, I'VE LOVED YOU FOR A LONG TIME. 815 00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:56,727 MR. TUCKER. 816 00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:58,041 WES. 817 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:01,249 OH, MY GOD. BIG, FAT ASS. 818 00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:03,846 BIG, FAT ASS. EW. 819 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,128 JIGGLE, JIGGLE, JIGGLE. 820 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,325 AT LEAST IT ONLY HAS SIX VIEWS. 821 00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,331 OH, TOBY, DON'T STOP. 822 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,130 DON'T STOP. 823 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:19,850 I WANNA BE YOUR WIFE. 824 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,321 HOW DO WE LOOK TOGETHER? HOW DO WE LOOK TOGETHER? 825 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,165 THE MOST BEAUTIFUL COUPLE? OH, MY GOD. 826 00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,049 IS THAT BIANCA PIPER? 827 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,771 YEP. OH, MY GOD, THAT IS SO HORRIBLE. 828 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,810 I WOULD HATE IT IF THAT WAS ME AND PEOPLE SAW THIS. 829 00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:36,089 I SHOULD TOTALLY FORWARD THIS. ME TOO. 830 00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:37,969 VIRAL? VIRAL. 831 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,568 OH, TOBY. 832 00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:57,689 DID YOU READ THE COMMENTS ON THAT VIDEO? 833 00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,083 YEAH. IT SAYS, "THAT MANNEQUIN JUST MADE OUT WITH A FIVE." 834 00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:03,925 OH, MY GOD, HE CALLED HER A FIVE. HA, HA. 835 00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:07,004 "BIANCA PIPER'S ASS MEANS THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON." 836 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,567 OUCH. I FEEL BAD FOR TOBY. 837 00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:12,200 "FLASH MOB HUMP SESSION ON TOBY AT 3:30"? 838 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,850 HE'S GOTTA BE SO EMBARRASSED. 839 00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:16,805 HIS SENIOR YEAR IS GOING TO SUCK. 840 00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,641 UGH, THEY DO NOT CLEAN THOSE MIRRORS. 841 00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,525 OH, THAT IS AWFUL. WHATEVER. 842 00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,411 LISTEN, SHE'S THE ONE THAT ENDED THINGS WITH US, JESS. 843 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:31,325 I LOVE YOUR EYES. THEY'RE SO... JUST MAKE THAT GO AWAY. 844 00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,006 TOBY... CASEY, SHUT THE SITE DOWN NOW. 845 00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:35,571 OKAY, FINE. 846 00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,369 OH, MY... 847 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,568 YOU KNOW BIANCA WELL. DO YOU THINK SHE'D PUT THIS UP TO GET ATTENTION? 848 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:48,768 NOT LIKELY. 849 00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:51,002 DON'T WE JUST LOOK SO CUTE TOGETHER? 850 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,371 OOH. 851 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,564 PROBLEM SOLVED. 852 00:46:56,240 --> 00:46:58,288 SOLVED MY ASS. 853 00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,808 THIS SCHOOL, THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL, IS FILLED WITH CYBER BULLIES. 854 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,890 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? THAT MEANS RETALIATION VIDEOS. 855 00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:06,565 COMMENTS, LIKES, TWEETS, MEMES, 856 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,525 AND WHATEVER THE HELL ELSE THEY DO TO EACH OTHER NOWADAYS. 857 00:47:09,720 --> 00:47:11,080 IT'S LIKE A PRISON YARD OUT THERE. 858 00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,646 LOOK, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE OVERREACTING JUST A LITTLE BIT? 859 00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,040 HAVE YOU NOT SEEN DATELINE? 860 00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,248 CATFISH? PRETTY LITTLE LIARS? 861 00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:18,731 WHAT? NOTHING. 862 00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:21,886 LOOK, HAVING HAD EXPERIENCE IN THIS AREA, 863 00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:25,601 I THINK WE GOTTA DEAL WITH THIS IN A WAY THAT'S PRIVATE AND SENSITIVE. 864 00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,684 YES, YES, WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS. 865 00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,128 THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I JUST SAID. 866 00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:38,283 ATTENTION, STUDENTS. THE HALLS OF OUR PRESTIGIOUS INSTITUTION 867 00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:43,048 HAVE BEEN COMPROMISED BY THE STENCH OF CYBER BULLYING. 868 00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,441 IT IS THE STENCH OF ONES AND ZEROES 869 00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:49,605 AND ELECTRONIC HARDWARE PROBABLY MANUFACTURED SOMEWHERE IN CHINA. 870 00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:53,566 BUT THESE "YOLO TERRORISTS" WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. 871 00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:57,321 MALLOY HIGH WILL NOW BE PUT UNDER INTERNET MARTIAL LAW. 872 00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:58,561 THAT'S RIGHT. 873 00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:00,240 EACH STUDENT WILL BE REQUIRED 874 00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,125 TO TURN IN THEIR PHONES TO TEACHERS AND RETRIEVE AT THE END OF THE DAY 875 00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,123 UNTIL WE HAVE GOTTEN TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS. 876 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:08,329 NO MORE PHONE. OH, CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, JERKS? 877 00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:11,370 THERE WILL BE NO VINE, NO FLICKR, NO TUMBLR, 878 00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,967 NO TINDER, NO FACEBOOK, NO HULU... JUST SAY NO INTERNET. WE GET IT. 879 00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:19,165 NO GRINDR, NO WHATSAPP, NO INSTAGRAM, NO PINTEREST, 880 00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:21,527 NO WIKI ANYTHING. 881 00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:23,685 THAT IS ALL. 882 00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:24,921 FIGHT ON, BLUE DEVILS. 883 00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,287 OH, AND REMEMBER, IT GETS BETTER. 884 00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:29,249 WHAT? YOU HEARD HIM. 885 00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:30,640 DROP THEM IN THE BOX. 886 00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,889 YOU CAN PICK THEM UP AFTER SCHOOL, MAYBE. 887 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:37,010 GOD, I'VE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR THIS. 888 00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:39,003 ALL OF THEM, ROBERT. 889 00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:41,885 MM-HM. 890 00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,485 ALL OF THEM. 891 00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:48,601 THANK YOU. 892 00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:52,601 WHAT'S THAT BUZZING I HEAR? 893 00:48:58,720 --> 00:48:59,801 DICK. 894 00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:02,008 THAT'S GROSS. 895 00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,682 OH, I DON'T THINK HE MEANT ME TOO. 896 00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,047 HIT "SEND," DROP. 897 00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,211 WHEN I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL IN THE '90S, WE DIDN'T HAVE EMOTICONS. 898 00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,522 WE HAD ACTUAL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. 899 00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:16,051 LOOK INTO IT. 900 00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:18,250 WHAT'S UP, NARC? 901 00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,721 NOT ONLY WAS I THE SCHOOL'S MOST FAMOUS DUFF, 902 00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:22,530 I WAS NOW THE LEAST-LIKED PERSON IN IT. 903 00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,570 THANKS FOR DESTROYING MY LIFE. I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING FUNNY, 904 00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:27,848 AND NOW NOBODY'S GONNA KNOW. HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. 905 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:29,570 THESE ARE USELESS. 906 00:49:29,720 --> 00:49:32,405 IT COULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN WORSE. 907 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:34,280 OH, WAIT. 908 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:35,805 OF COURSE IT COULD. 909 00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:00,043 YEAH, MATT AND I, LAST CUP, BOOM, HIT IT. 910 00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:01,247 YOU HAPPY NOW? 911 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,365 IS THIS ONE OF YOUR LESSONS? 912 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:07,451 HEY, DUMMY HUMPER, I FOUND YOU A NEW BOYFRIEND IN HEALTH CLASS. 913 00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:08,840 THIS IS TOBY TOO. 914 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:10,411 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 915 00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:11,641 OH, TOBY. 916 00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:13,889 OH, JUST GIVE IT TO ME, TOBY. 917 00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:17,203 OH, JUST A LITTLE PINCH RIGHT THERE. JUST... OH, HE'S DIRTY. 918 00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,203 OH, HE'S GOING TO TOWN ON ME, TOBY. 919 00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,328 OH, TOBY. ARE YOU GONNA DO ANYTHING? 920 00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,290 YOU'RE MY SPECIAL LITTLE TOBY. I CAN TAKE YOU HOME WITH ME. 921 00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:26,808 BOOBS LOOK GOOD. NEW BRA? 922 00:50:29,240 --> 00:50:30,685 THANKS A LOT. 923 00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,409 OH, PEACHES AND PEARS. 924 00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:36,927 CAN I HAVE PEACHES AND PEARS? OKAY. 925 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:56,007 HEY, BIANCA, IT'S WESLEY. 926 00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:03,246 HEY, LOOK, I JUST... I WANTED TO SAY THAT... 927 00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:07,441 CAN I COME IN? 928 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:10,490 MM-HM. 929 00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,050 I DESERVED THAT. 930 00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:19,091 HERE. 931 00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,047 I PROMISE, I DIDN'T SEND THE VIDEO, OKAY? 932 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,771 I OVERHEARD MADISON BRAGGING ABOUT IT TO HER FRIENDS. 933 00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:28,242 I MEAN, THE ANGLES WEREN'T EVEN FROM WHERE I WAS SITTING. 934 00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:33,725 WHY IS YOUR HAND MESSED UP? 935 00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:37,282 WELL, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE RUNNING AROUND PUNCHING PEOPLE TODAY. 936 00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,602 NO ONE ELSE SEES THAT VIDEO. TELL EVERYONE. 937 00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:41,524 I DON'T KNOW THAT MANY PEOPLE. 938 00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:45,207 WELL, MAKE SOME MORE FRIENDS AND TELL THEM. 939 00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:47,561 WHAT? 940 00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:50,727 MM. 941 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:54,884 THANKS. 942 00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:58,410 I'VE NEVER HAD ANYBODY GO ON A PUNCHING SPREE FOR ME BEFORE. 943 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:00,086 WELL, DON'T GET USED TO IT. 944 00:52:00,240 --> 00:52:02,083 NOW THERE'S RUMORS GOING AROUND I'M ON 'ROIDS. 945 00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:06,725 AREN'T YOU? HEH. WELL, IRREGARDLESS... 946 00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:11,568 NOT A WORD. WELL, IRREGARDLESS OF THAT... 947 00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:14,242 A LITTLE PEACE OFFERING. OH, MY GOD. 948 00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:17,808 WES, THE DRESS? 949 00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:19,405 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS. 950 00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,801 I NEVER SHOULD'VE CALLED YOU THE DUFF, OKAY? 951 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:23,769 THAT WAS STUPID. 952 00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:26,645 WE GOOD? WE'RE GOOD. 953 00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:28,484 THANK YOU. 954 00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:31,769 YOU KNOW WHAT'S NOT GOOD IS I SAW TOBY TODAY. 955 00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:33,325 HE COULD BARELY LOOK AT ME. 956 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:36,370 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA, LIKE, WRITE HIM A REALLY LONG LETTER 957 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:37,567 JUST APOLOGIZING PROFUSELY 958 00:52:37,720 --> 00:52:40,121 AND, YOU KNOW, MAYBE SEND HIM AN EDIBLE ARRANGEMENT. 959 00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:41,520 STOP, STOP. EDIBLE ARRANGEMENT? 960 00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:44,530 LOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING, OKAY? 961 00:52:44,720 --> 00:52:46,961 STEP SIX... LET'S LET THE STEPS GO. 962 00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:50,761 JUST OWN IT. GROW SOME BALLS. 963 00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:55,084 TELL HIM YOU KNOW THE VIDEO SUCKS, BUT YOU'RE INTO HIM, AND TO DEAL WITH IT. 964 00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:57,208 AND IF HE'S STILL WEIRD, HE'S A JACKASS. 965 00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,402 SOMETIMES IT'S THAT SIMPLE. 966 00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:01,608 NOW, I'M OFF TO STUDY HESS'S LAW 967 00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:05,446 AND HOW IT RELATES TO ENTHALPIC CHEMICAL CHANGE. AWW. 968 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,807 WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH WES? 969 00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:10,042 OR MAYBE I'LL GOOGLE CELEB NIP SLIPS. CURTAINS OPEN. 970 00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:13,005 THERE HE IS. SEE YOU TOMORROW. 971 00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:14,685 SEE YOU. 972 00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:20,726 HERE ARE YOUR PHONES, KIDS. THANK YOU. 973 00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,447 THANKS. OH, YEAH. 974 00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:27,244 THANKS. 975 00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:28,731 EVERYONE, GET YOUR PHONES. 976 00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:30,166 THANK YOU. 977 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,445 HEY, YOU'RE WELCOME. 978 00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:38,405 HEY THERE. 979 00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:39,846 HEY, BIANCA. 980 00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:44,283 GOT A SECOND TO TALK TO A FAN? 981 00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:45,965 YEAH, SURE, WHAT'S UP? 982 00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:49,811 I'M ASSUMING YOU'VE SEEN THE VIDEO. 983 00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:54,284 HEH. YEAH. UM, IT'S TRUE. 984 00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,171 I AM INTO YOU. 985 00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,210 AND SO I THOUGHT I SHOULD JUST BE STRAIGHTFORWARD 986 00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:01,850 AND TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE. 987 00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,650 WOW. 988 00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,490 I'M FLATTERED. 989 00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:08,166 AND IMPRESSED. HA, HA. 990 00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:10,846 NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD HAVE THE BALLS TO SAY ALL THAT. 991 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:12,923 WELL, THAT'S MY WHOLE THING. 992 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,811 BIG OLD BALLS. HA, HA. RIGHT. 993 00:54:17,720 --> 00:54:20,485 I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT YOU AND I HAVE EVER REALLY TALKED. 994 00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:22,921 IT'S KIND OF NICE. 995 00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:25,289 YEAH, IT IS. 996 00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:27,529 ALL RIGHT, WELL... OKAY. 997 00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:28,886 WELL, YEAH. SO, UH... 998 00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:31,646 I'LL, UH, SEE YOU AROUND. OKAY. 999 00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:33,290 ALL RIGHT. THANKS. 1000 00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:35,568 SEE YOU. BYE. HA, HA. 1001 00:54:35,720 --> 00:54:37,848 BYE. WE SAID IT AT THE SAME TIME. 1002 00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:40,042 BYE-BYE. BYE. 1003 00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:42,130 OH, SHIT. 1004 00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:46,443 WE SHOULD, UH, HANG OUT SOMETIME. 1005 00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:50,449 YEAH, I'D LIKE THAT. 1006 00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:53,405 HOW'S THIS FRIDAY? THIS FRIDAY, HMM, 1007 00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:56,843 IS, UH, GONNA BE FINE FOR ME. IT'S GOOD. 1008 00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:58,240 COOL. MEET AT MY HOUSE? 1009 00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:01,011 SEVEN O'CLOCK? YES, 7 IS GOOD. 1010 00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:02,924 ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU. 1011 00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,526 BYE. HA-HA-HA. BYE. 1012 00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:07,091 BYE. 1013 00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:28,245 WES. HEY. 1014 00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:29,845 WHAT THE HELL? YOU EMBARRASSED? 1015 00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,040 NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS. WHOA, WHO LET HER IN? 1016 00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:34,845 WES? WHOA, BIANCA, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 1017 00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,367 AH, KIND OF LOOKS LIKE A PENIS, ONLY SMALLER. 1018 00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:40,450 WES? 1019 00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:43,761 WOW, BOYS' LOCKER ROOM. NICE. 1020 00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:46,082 OH, UH... 1021 00:55:46,240 --> 00:55:49,926 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. 1022 00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:52,447 SO... MM-HM. WHAT? 1023 00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,570 YOU HAVE A QUESTION? HMM? YEAH. DON'T DO THAT. 1024 00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,491 HMM? QUESTION? YOU DO. UH... HEH. 1025 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,165 STOP. YOU DON'T. 1026 00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:03,005 HA, HA. COME ON, PLEASE. IT'S IMPORTANT. 1027 00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:04,889 WHAT DO YOU WANT? LET'S GO. 1028 00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:07,168 OKAY. UGH. 1029 00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:10,124 SO YOU ASKED HIM OUT? YEAH. 1030 00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:11,361 THAT'S AWESOME. YEAH. 1031 00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:13,329 WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 1032 00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:18,128 IF YOU MUST KNOW, I'VE NEVER BEEN ON AN ACTUAL DATE BEFORE. 1033 00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,847 OKAY, OKAY. SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN. 1034 00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,128 WE GOT THIS. COME HERE. ALL RIGHT. 1035 00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,286 THE DATE. OKAY, WE NEED A PLAN. 1036 00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:33,920 YOU THINK A FOOTBALL TEAM RUNS ON THE FIELD WITHOUT A STRATEGY? 1037 00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:35,451 EH... MM. 1038 00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:38,524 EXACTLY, NO. OF COURSE THEY DON'T. NO, OF COURSE THEY DON'T. 1039 00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:41,650 YOU WANT THIS DATE TO END WITH YOU MAKING OUT, YOU NEED TO THINK AHEAD. 1040 00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,644 SO GIVE ME THE VIBE OF THE RESTAURANT YOU'RE GOING FOR. 1041 00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:46,848 OKAY, I'M THINKING SOMETHING KIND OF TRENDY, 1042 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,128 YOU KNOW, KIND OF HIPSTER, MAYBE UNIQUE? 1043 00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,601 DONE. DAVE & BUSTER'S. HUH? 1044 00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:55,009 THE PLACE WITH THE METAL CLAW GAME? YOU BET YOUR ASS. 1045 00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:58,927 OKAY, YOU, TOBY. LET'S GET STARTED. 1046 00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:03,003 WORST SCENARIO IS IF YOU GET SEATED AT A TABLE RIGHT ACROSS FROM EACH OTHER. 1047 00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:06,528 OKAY, NO ONE'S MAKING OUT IF THEY'RE THREE FEET APART. SIMPLE GEOLOGY. 1048 00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:08,682 YOU NEED A BOOTH, OKAY? IT'S BETTER FOR FLIRTING, 1049 00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:12,890 NOT-SO-ACCIDENTAL TOUCHING, MAKING OUT. GAME ON. 1050 00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:16,283 WOW, I HAD NO IDEA GUYS LIKE YOU EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF. 1051 00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:19,887 WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE RACIST AGAINST JOCKS. YOU'RE A JOCK-CIST. 1052 00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:21,851 OKAY, MOVING ON. 1053 00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,247 OKAY, SO HOW DO YOU SET THE TONE AT DINNER? 1054 00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,924 LIGHTING MATTERS, OKAY? THE DARKER THE BOOTH, THE BETTER. 1055 00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:32,564 LIGHTING, DARK BOOTH. GOT IT. WHAT'S NEXT? 1056 00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:33,841 BODY LANGUAGE. 1057 00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,927 IS HE LEANING IN? 1058 00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:39,721 IS HE SITTING CLOSE? I DON'T KNOW... 1059 00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:41,609 AND THEN IT'S ALL ABOUT INTERACTION. 1060 00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,730 IS HE TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU? 1061 00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:48,010 DOES HE SAY COMPLIMENTARY THINGS TO YOU? 1062 00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:50,891 IF YES, CHANCES ARE HE'S GONNA MAKE HIS MOVE. 1063 00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:53,168 AND TOUCHDOWN. 1064 00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:54,407 WES. 1065 00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:56,562 I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT TO THE COACH'S BOARD. 1066 00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,688 IT'S BIG BECAUSE IT'S ON A CHALKBOARD. 1067 00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:01,241 WE GOTTA GO. COME ON. LET'S GO, LET'S GO. 1068 00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:05,767 HEY, DUFF QUEEN, WANNA SHOW ME SOME OF THEM MOVES? 1069 00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:07,166 SHH. 1070 00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,450 BIANCA? YES. 1071 00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:12,921 THE VIDEO WAS HYSTERICAL. EAT A DICK. 1072 00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:15,970 THANKS. I JUST HAD A BAGEL, THOUGH, SO I'M FULL. 1073 00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:18,805 MR. ARTHUR, I'M REALLY SORRY. I... 1074 00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:21,440 NO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. STEP INTO MY HALLWAY. 1075 00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:25,087 I DON'T PLAY FAVORITES, BUT YOU'RE MY FAVORITE. 1076 00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:29,767 YOU EVER HEARD THE PHRASE "THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD"? 1077 00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:31,763 YEAH, AND IN THIS CASE, 1078 00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,969 A BUNCH OF KIDS ANONYMOUSLY TYPING WHATEVER COMMENTS THEY WANT 1079 00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:36,645 FEELS LIKE AN ATOMIC BOMB, 1080 00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,770 AND THAT'S DEFINITELY MIGHTIER THAN A SWORD. 1081 00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:43,561 SO MAKE YOUR WRITING HAVE A POSITIVE EFFECT. 1082 00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:46,530 AS IN A CERTAIN HOMECOMING ARTICLE THAT'S DUE. 1083 00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:49,047 OH, PLEASE, MR. ARTHUR, 1084 00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,601 THE LAST THING I WANNA DO IS GO TO A PLACE 1085 00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:53,922 WHERE EVERYBODY HATES ME AND THEN WRITE ABOUT IT. 1086 00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:55,969 I PICKED YOU FOR A REASON. 1087 00:58:56,120 --> 00:59:00,091 AND WHATEVER YOU WRITE, I'M RUNNING IT AS OUR LEAD, SO MAKE IT COUNT. 1088 00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:04,848 INSPIRE US. REMEMBER, THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD. 1089 00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:08,330 SIMON, GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF THERE. 1090 00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:09,601 YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER. 1091 00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:11,250 YES, I AM YOUR DADDY, SIMON. 1092 00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,761 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. 1093 00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:20,561 I DO EVERYTHING AROUND THIS HOUSE, AND YOU DON'T DO... 1094 00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:22,927 OH, HERE WE GO. WELL, IT'S THE TRUTH. 1095 00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:24,520 WESLEY, WILL YOU GET THE DOOR?! 1096 00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:27,041 OH, DON'T YELL AT HIM. HE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. 1097 00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:29,123 SAVE IT FOR THERAPY, OKAY, HONEY? 1098 00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:32,727 WESLEY, GET THE DOOR! OKAY, ENOUGH, I GOT IT. 1099 00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:34,729 HEY, READY TO GO GET DOWN 1100 00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:38,402 WITH SOME BRO-VALENT ELECTRONS? YEAH. 1101 00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:49,408 DO YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT IT? I'D LIKE TO NOT TALK. 1102 00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:52,649 HMM. WELL, I KNOW JUST THE PLACE. 1103 00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:59,366 YOU SEE WHY I NEED THAT SCHOLARSHIP? 1104 01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:04,683 HEY, B, WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING? 1105 01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,161 MY SPECIAL PLACE. YOU'LL SEE. 1106 01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:09,846 IS THIS WHERE YOU KILL ME? HA, HA. YES. 1107 01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:11,963 THEY'RE NEVER GONNA FIND YOU OUT HERE. 1108 01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:14,411 AHA. 1109 01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:19,609 I GIVE YOU THINK ROCK. 1110 01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:23,168 HUH? WOW. UM... 1111 01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:24,890 WHAT HAPPENS HERE? 1112 01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:30,365 WELL, IT'S GONNA BLOW YOUR MIND, BUT SIT ON THE ROCK. 1113 01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:32,050 UNH. GOOD, GOOD. 1114 01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:35,568 AND THEN YOU THINK. 1115 01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:37,725 TRY IT. 1116 01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:44,683 HOW'D YOU FIND THIS PLACE? 1117 01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,161 I USED TO RUN UP HERE A LOT WITH PEPPER, 1118 01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:51,405 AND SHE WOULD ALWAYS MAKE A DIRECT BEELINE TO THIS ROCK. 1119 01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:53,369 I REMEMBER PEPPER. 1120 01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:55,324 HOW'S SHE DOING? 1121 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:57,923 I GUESS SHE'S OKAY. 1122 01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:01,323 WHEN MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED, MY MOM WANTED CUSTODY OF ME, 1123 01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:04,450 AND MY DAD WANTED CUSTODY OF THE DOG. 1124 01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:05,806 WOW. YEAH, SO I THINK THAT 1125 01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:08,770 PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP RIGHT THERE. 1126 01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:16,645 ARE YOUR...? 1127 01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:21,003 ARE YOUR PARENTS GONNA GET DIVORCED? GOD, I HOPE SO. 1128 01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,686 I JUST... I... 1129 01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:27,444 IT'S OKAY. 1130 01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:30,004 IT'S NOT OKAY. 1131 01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:32,764 BUT IT WILL BE. 1132 01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:34,407 I PROMISE. 1133 01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,002 I'M... I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T... 1134 01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:51,686 OH. NO, I... IT'S OKAY, I... 1135 01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:53,968 WHAT, UM...? WERE YOU...? THAT... YOU KNOW WHAT? 1136 01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:58,011 THAT WAS... UH, THAT WAS PRACTICE. 1137 01:01:58,320 --> 01:02:00,129 SORRY, PRACTICE FOR...? 1138 01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:03,045 FOR STEP EIGHT, OKAY, FOR... OF THE PLAN. 1139 01:02:03,200 --> 01:02:07,728 THAT WAS PRACTICE IN CASE YOU HADN'T MADE OUT WITH ANYONE IN A WHILE. 1140 01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:09,566 HUH. 1141 01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:11,529 IT'S ALL PART OF THE PLAN? 1142 01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:15,526 IT'S JUST PRACTICE, JUST A GUERRILLA-STYLE PRACTICE SESSION? 1143 01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:18,126 SNEAK ATTACK. HM, HM. 1144 01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:19,930 REALLY? 1145 01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,402 MM-HM, OKAY. 1146 01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,046 IS THAT WHAT IT FELT LIKE? 1147 01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:31,649 THAT I HADN'T MADE OUT WITH ANYONE IN A WHILE OR WHATEVER? 1148 01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:35,725 WELL, I MEAN, I'M MORE OF A TONGUE GUY MYSELF, BUT... 1149 01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:39,407 YOU DON'T SAY? I THINK I FELT IT POKING OUT MY BUTTHOLE. 1150 01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:42,962 HA-HA-HA. SO FAR DOWN MY THROAT. HA, HA. 1151 01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:45,441 ARE YOU GIVING ME KISSING ADVICE? 1152 01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:47,605 MAN, I GUESS I AM. 1153 01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:50,001 B. YOU NEED IT. 1154 01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:51,606 THAT'S HOW PEOPLE KISS. 1155 01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:55,247 UH, IN PORN, MAYBE. 1156 01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:56,606 WHAT'S WRONG WITH PORN? 1157 01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:58,410 IF THIS WAS A PORN MOVIE, 1158 01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:00,720 WE WOULDN'T BE SITTING ON A ROCK HAVING A CONVERSATION. 1159 01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:03,201 YOU KNOW, YOU'D BE BRINGING ME A PIZZA 1160 01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:06,887 OR, UM, YOU KNOW, CLEANING MY POOL. 1161 01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:09,327 HOW OLD IS THE PORN YOU'RE WATCHING? 1162 01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:11,960 THAT DOESN'T... THAT'S NOT... THAT'S NOT EVEN A THING ANYMORE. 1163 01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:14,691 THEY DON'T DO THAT? HA, HA. 1164 01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:16,569 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? 1165 01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,729 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A LESSON. 1166 01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:21,406 IT'S GONNA BE FREE. THE FIRST ONE'S ALWAYS FREE. 1167 01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:23,688 ALL RIGHT, THIS IS HOW GIRLS LIKE TO BE KISSED. 1168 01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,081 WE'RE DOING THIS? WE'RE DOING THIS. 1169 01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:29,408 CLOSE YOUR EYES. HA, HA. HEH. 1170 01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:32,370 READY. OKAY, OKAY. LEAN IN. 1171 01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:36,650 HEY-OH. GO SLOW, OKAY? LET THE TENSION BUILD. 1172 01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:38,401 SO MUCH TO LEARN. 1173 01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:41,404 OKAY, READY? NO. 1174 01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:45,530 OKAY, NOW LEAN IN. 1175 01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:47,450 SLOW. 1176 01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:52,410 OH, NO. 1177 01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:53,766 THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. 1178 01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:57,163 YOU ARE A PHENOMENAL KISSER. HA-HA-HA. 1179 01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,607 THANK YOU. THAT'S HOW WE LIKE IT. WHAT IS THAT? 1180 01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:04,762 ARE YOU FEELING A LITTLE BETTER? 1181 01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:07,400 HMM? YEAH, OKAY, A LITTLE BIT. 1182 01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:09,683 YOU'RE WELCOME. 1183 01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:11,001 COME ON, LET'S GO. 1184 01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,009 WE HAVE A DATE WITH THE PERIODIC CHART. 1185 01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:15,601 THE ONLY PERIODIC CHART I KNOW IS THE ONE THAT TELLS ME 1186 01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:18,923 WHAT TIME OF THE MONTH TO AVOID MADISON. HEY! 1187 01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:21,885 I'M NOT GONNA HIGH-FIVE YOU ON THAT. COME ON, SCIENCE JOKES. 1188 01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:24,560 KNOW HOW THEY SAY "THE HILLS HAVE EYES"? 1189 01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:26,360 WELL, IT TURNS OUT THE SHRUBS HAVE BITCHES 1190 01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:28,608 WHO VIDEOTAPE EVERYTHING. OH, HERE WE GO. 1191 01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:29,926 WELL, YOU DON'T. 1192 01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:31,520 EVER BEEN KICKED IN THE NUTS? 1193 01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:34,803 OH, GOD, YOU ALWAYS COME BACK WITH THAT. 1194 01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:40,566 HEY, B. MADISON, HOW ARE YOU? 1195 01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:43,451 DO YOU WANNA SEE SOMETHING HYSTERICAL? HOLD ON. 1196 01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:45,524 WATCH THIS. 1197 01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:49,921 DID YOU SEE THE WAY THAT GUY LOOKED AT YOU? 1198 01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:52,447 THIS PART'S THE BEST. DEFINITELY NOT. 1199 01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:55,604 WAIT, JUST LOOK AT YOUR FACE. HA, HA. 1200 01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:58,604 OH, DON'T WORRY, UM, IT'S A WORKING TITLE. 1201 01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:03,209 YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING MAYBE "RETAIL SLUT" OR JUST "SLUT WHORE." 1202 01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:05,529 YOU THOUGHT THE FIRST VIDEO WAS BAD. 1203 01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,047 BOY, THIS ONE'S GONNA DESTROY YOU. 1204 01:05:08,480 --> 01:05:10,005 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 1205 01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:13,323 OH, I THINK IT'S ADORABLE THAT WESLEY INDULGED YOU IN A PITY MAKE-OUT. 1206 01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,130 OH, NO, NO. 1207 01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:17,089 I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW YOU... 1208 01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:19,083 BUT IT... THAT WASN'T WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE. 1209 01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:20,651 YEAH, NO SHIT, IT'S NOT. 1210 01:05:20,800 --> 01:05:22,848 BECAUSE WESLEY AND I ARE GETTING BACK TOGETHER. 1211 01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:27,405 HMM. LS WESLEY AWARE OF THIS? HE WILL BE MADE AWARE. 1212 01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:31,362 LOOK, BIANCA, I'VE TRIED TO BE NICE. HAVE YOU? 1213 01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:33,887 SHH. SO LET ME PUT THIS A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY. 1214 01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:36,520 I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE THINKING OF MY EX-BOYFRIEND 1215 01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,364 HITTING IT WITH SOMEONE LIKE YOU. 1216 01:05:38,520 --> 01:05:39,931 THE THING YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND 1217 01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:43,886 IS WHAT HAPPENS IN HIGH SCHOOL IS GONNA STAY WITH US FOREVER. 1218 01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:47,289 MOST PEOPLE DON'T THINK THAT, BUT THEN AGAIN, MOST PEOPLE ARE LOSERS. 1219 01:05:47,440 --> 01:05:51,445 MM. FASCINATING. PEOPLE LIKE ME MATTER HERE. 1220 01:05:51,600 --> 01:05:53,523 PEOPLE LIKE YOU WILL NEVER MATTER. 1221 01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:56,891 SO STOP MESSING IT UP FOR THOSE OF US WHO DO. 1222 01:05:57,880 --> 01:05:59,609 SEE YOU IN MATH. 1223 01:06:02,360 --> 01:06:03,885 IN THE PAST, HER THREAT ALONE 1224 01:06:04,040 --> 01:06:06,008 WOULD'VE BEEN ENOUGH TO MAKE ME HIDE UNDER MY BED. 1225 01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:09,607 BUT I WASN'T EVEN TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH WESLEY RUSH. 1226 01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:11,683 I COULDN'T EVEN IMAGINE IT. 1227 01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:15,322 I'M HORNY FOR SEX. 1228 01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,767 OH! OH, HEY. 1229 01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:19,729 SOMEONE'S POOL NEED CLEANING? 1230 01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:22,087 ALSO I BROUGHT PIZZA. 1231 01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:26,406 AND I LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH GIRLS. 1232 01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:28,562 I'M A GIRL. 1233 01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:34,564 OW. HMM. 1234 01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:36,280 OKAY, MAYBE I COULD IMAGINE IT, 1235 01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:39,131 BUT I HAD TO STAY FOCUSED ON MY TOBY MISSION. 1236 01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:46,647 DATE NIGHT. I WORKED UP ALL MY COURAGE 1237 01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:48,928 AND TRIED ON THE DRESS WESLEY GAVE ME. 1238 01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:52,801 IN MY HEAD, I THINK I WAS EXPECTING SOME BIG REALITY-SHOW REVEAL. 1239 01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:54,610 ALL RIGHT. 1240 01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:56,603 BUT IT WAS JUST ME. 1241 01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:58,649 ME IN A DRESS. 1242 01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:01,771 MA, I'M OFF TO MY BIG NIGHT. 1243 01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,809 WHOA, LOOK AT YOU. 1244 01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:05,530 WOW, LOOK AT YOU. 1245 01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:07,489 LOOK AT YOU NOT IN A PANTSUIT. 1246 01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:10,211 I KNOW. I HAVE MY FIRST INTERNET DATE. 1247 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:13,967 WE BOTH LIKE THAI FOOD, ARE ATHLETICALLY TONED AND LYING ABOUT IT. 1248 01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:15,963 OH, MY GOD. 1249 01:07:16,120 --> 01:07:18,726 THAT DRESS IS BEAUTIFUL ON YOU. THANKS. 1250 01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:21,406 WES GAVE IT TO ME. OH, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING TONIGHT? 1251 01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:24,686 OH, NO, HEH, NOT... I'M NOT GOING OUT WITH WES. 1252 01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:28,003 I'M GOING OUT WITH TOBY. TOBY'S THE GUY THAT I LIKE. 1253 01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:29,810 RIGHT, WELL, THAT SHOULD BE FUN. 1254 01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:33,407 YEAH. I ACTUALLY KIND OF FEEL NERVOUS ABOUT IT 1255 01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:36,131 JUST BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT SAY SOMETHING STUPID, 1256 01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:38,561 AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHEN... HONEY, STOP. 1257 01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:41,929 BELIEVE, RETRIEVE, ACHIEVE. 1258 01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:43,969 IT IS A MANTRA THAT I TEACH ALL OF MY CLIENTS 1259 01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:45,650 WHO SUFFER FROM PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. 1260 01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:47,882 BELIEVE IT HAPPENED YESTERDAY. 1261 01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:49,366 RETRIEVE YOUR CONFIDENCE. 1262 01:07:49,520 --> 01:07:50,931 ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS. 1263 01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:53,606 JUST DON'T CONCEIVE. MM. 1264 01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:57,765 OKAY. WELL, I'M OFF TO DO SOME BELIEVING AND HOPEFULLY ACHIEVING. 1265 01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:00,366 LOVE YOU, HAVE FUN. UNLESS THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE. 1266 01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:03,764 NOPE, I'M GOOD. SEE YOU, HAVE FUN. 1267 01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,845 HEY, LOOK AT YOU. 1268 01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,889 STUDYING ALMOST LIKE YOU WERE A REAL STUDENT. 1269 01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:19,727 ACTUALLY, I'M JUST WAITING FOR STRANGERS TO WALK BY 1270 01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:21,689 SO I CAN SHOW THEM THIS BAD BOY. 1271 01:08:22,320 --> 01:08:23,481 HEY-OH! 1272 01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:26,769 OH, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY B IN MY LIFE. SUCK IT, SCIENCE. 1273 01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:28,649 THAT IS ACTUALLY INCREDIBLE. 1274 01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:30,370 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. CONGRATULATIONS. 1275 01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:32,682 COACH SAYS I MIGHT GET TO PLAY SOME FOOTBALL THIS YEAR. 1276 01:08:32,840 --> 01:08:34,080 WHAT? 1277 01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:36,766 I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. GOOD JOB. AH. 1278 01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:39,920 WOW. 1279 01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:45,846 AH, MY DRESS. AH? NOT BAD FOR A DUFF, AM I RIGHT? 1280 01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:48,004 IT'S MY BIG TOBY DATE NIGHT. 1281 01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:50,003 OFF TO A NICE EVENING 1282 01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:53,721 OF TALKING ABOUT THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE WITH A FELLOW INTELLECTUAL? 1283 01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:57,043 YES, PLEASE. HA, HA. 1284 01:08:57,720 --> 01:09:00,690 SO, I MEAN, HOW DO I LOOK? IS THIS GOOD, COACH? COME ON. 1285 01:09:01,880 --> 01:09:03,291 YOU LOOK GOOD. 1286 01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:06,410 GOOD? WOW, THAT'S REALLY A RAVE REVIEW. 1287 01:09:06,560 --> 01:09:10,485 I JUST MEAN THAT YOU LOOK GOOD, BUT YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU. 1288 01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:14,006 WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1289 01:09:14,160 --> 01:09:18,085 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? NO, TELL ME. NOTHING, NOTHING. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. 1290 01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:21,005 I GOT MY GRADES UP, YOU GOT YOUR DATE. WE'RE GOOD. 1291 01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:24,605 ARE YOU SURE? YOU'RE BEING WEIRD. YOU'RE BEING WEIRD, OKAY? 1292 01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:26,928 GO. OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU HOW IT GOES. 1293 01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:28,923 ALL RIGHT. OKAY, BYE. 1294 01:09:29,080 --> 01:09:30,491 BYE. 1295 01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:32,648 WISH ME LUCK. 1296 01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:34,290 GOOD LUCK. 1297 01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:50,521 HEY. HI. 1298 01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:52,444 COME ON IN. 1299 01:09:53,520 --> 01:09:56,569 WOW, YOU REALLY DRESSED UP. OH? 1300 01:09:56,720 --> 01:09:58,768 THIS OLD THING? HA, HA. 1301 01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:00,610 UM, SO HEY, WHERE DO YOU WANNA GO? 1302 01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:03,127 BECAUSE I ACTUALLY HEARD THAT DAVE & BUSTER'S 1303 01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:06,329 IS, LIKE, THE COOL, HIP NEW SPOT. 1304 01:10:06,480 --> 01:10:08,050 THE PLACE WITH THE METAL CLAW GAME? 1305 01:10:08,200 --> 01:10:10,646 YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE. FUN, RIGHT? YEAH. HA, HA. 1306 01:10:10,800 --> 01:10:12,080 WELL, I DO LOVE DAVE & BUSTER'S, 1307 01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:14,965 BUT I ACTUALLY TOOK THE LIBERTY OF MAKING A RESERVATION ALREADY. 1308 01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:18,044 HOPE THIS IS OKAY. THOUGHT WE COULD EAT HERE TONIGHT. 1309 01:10:18,200 --> 01:10:21,363 I'VE BEEN TEACHING MYSELF HOW TO MAKE SUSHI ONLINE. 1310 01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:23,682 I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, YOU KNOW, MORE PERSONAL. 1311 01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:24,887 YEAH, I LIKE THAT. 1312 01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:27,970 OH, UH, THOSE ARE THE BAKED CRAB ROLLS. 1313 01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:30,561 MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. THAT'S JAPANESE TEA, BY THE WAY. 1314 01:10:30,720 --> 01:10:33,121 SO ENJOY. OKAY. 1315 01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:36,761 NIGHTMARE. I'D ONLY BEEN TRAINED FOR DAVE & BUSTER'S. 1316 01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:40,248 WHAT DID WES SAY? THAT "NO ONE'S MAKING OUT IF THEY'RE THREE FEET APART." 1317 01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:42,360 OKAY. 1318 01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:47,166 OH, JESUS. 1319 01:10:57,920 --> 01:11:00,400 HEY. OH. UH... 1320 01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:03,530 EVERYTHING OKAY? OH, YEAH. NO, UH, I WAS GETTING... 1321 01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:07,127 I WAS FEELING, LIKE, A DRAFT OVER WHEN I WAS HERE, 1322 01:11:07,320 --> 01:11:10,563 SO I JUST KIND OF SCOOTED IT ON OVER HERE. 1323 01:11:10,720 --> 01:11:13,121 I CAN TURN OFF THE AIR. OH, OKAY. WHATEVER. 1324 01:11:13,280 --> 01:11:15,123 THAT'S PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA. 1325 01:11:15,560 --> 01:11:18,291 THE VIBE. DARKER THE BETTER. 1326 01:11:20,520 --> 01:11:21,931 OKAY. 1327 01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:26,761 REALLY? WHAT KIND OF LIGHT...? 1328 01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:33,841 WHAT? HEY, BIANCA. THAT'S BETTER... 1329 01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:37,163 OH. DID WE BLOW A FUSE? I GUESS WE DID. 1330 01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:39,846 I WAS JUST OVER HERE LOOKING AT THIS PICTURE OF YOU 1331 01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:42,890 IN THE TINY SWEATPANTS, AND IT GOT DARK. 1332 01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:44,246 I DON'T KNOW. IT'S CRAZY. 1333 01:11:44,440 --> 01:11:46,568 I'LL JUST FLIP THE BREAKERS, TURN ALL THE LIGHTS ON. 1334 01:11:46,720 --> 01:11:50,327 OH, YOU'RE GONNA TURN ALL THE...? TURN THEM ALL BACK ON? OKAY. 1335 01:11:50,880 --> 01:11:54,248 WHAT? OH! HEY, LET THERE BE LIGHT, RIGHT? 1336 01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:56,402 YEAH. FROM THE BIBLE. 1337 01:11:56,560 --> 01:11:58,005 COOL. THAT'S CRAZY. 1338 01:11:58,160 --> 01:12:01,243 WHAT'S THE CRAB DOING RIGHT NOW? OH, I'LL GO GET HIM. 1339 01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:02,765 OKAY, GREAT. 1340 01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,049 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ALL THIS SUSHI. 1341 01:12:06,200 --> 01:12:09,090 THIS IS LIKE RESTAURANT-QUALITY SUSHI. 1342 01:12:09,240 --> 01:12:11,480 LIKE, LOOK AT THIS. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TOOL FOR THESE? 1343 01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:13,568 HA, HA. IT TOOK A FEW HOURS. 1344 01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:16,730 IF IT HAS TO DO WITH MY HANDS, I USUALLY PICK IT UP REALLY QUICKLY. 1345 01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:18,644 THAT'S ACTUALLY HOW I GOT INTO GUITAR. 1346 01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:21,371 OH, YEAH. TELL ME MORE ABOUT THAT. I WAS A TERRIBLE STUDENT. 1347 01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:24,689 AND SO MY MOM USED TO STAND OUTSIDE MY ROOM 1348 01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:27,241 TO MAKE SURE THAT I WAS DOING MY HOMEWORK. 1349 01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:30,126 GAME ON. 1350 01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:33,767 WHAT? I SAID, GO ON WITH THE STORY, 1351 01:12:33,920 --> 01:12:35,445 BECAUSE I'M LOVING IT. 1352 01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:39,889 SO THEN I JUST STARTED WRITING POEMS, AND THOSE POEMS BECAME SONGS AND... 1353 01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:41,969 THAT IS SO COOL. 1354 01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:43,963 I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME... 1355 01:12:44,120 --> 01:12:46,043 TAKE ME ON THIS TABLE RIGHT NOW. 1356 01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:02,928 WHAT'S UP? OH, CALIFORNIA ROLL? 1357 01:13:03,640 --> 01:13:05,449 MM. OOF! EW! 1358 01:13:06,440 --> 01:13:07,566 ARE YOU OKAY? 1359 01:13:08,240 --> 01:13:09,730 AH. 1360 01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:14,124 AH, YEAH, I'M JUST REALLY FEELING THIS SUSHI. 1361 01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:16,129 IT'S REALLY... IT'S DOING SOMETHING TO ME. 1362 01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:18,282 HA, HA. YEAH. WELL, THANKS. 1363 01:13:18,440 --> 01:13:21,489 NO, LIKE I SAID, IT'S THE POETRY OF THE CHORD PROGRESSION 1364 01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:24,166 INTERTWINING WITH THE POETRY OF THE LYRICS. 1365 01:13:24,320 --> 01:13:26,049 IT'S LIKE TWO PEOPLE IN LOVE. 1366 01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:28,567 YEAH, LIKE A MIDGET JERKING IT. MEOW, MEOW, MEOW-MEOW. 1367 01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:32,611 YEAH, FUNNY. ACTUALLY, THAT KIND OF REMINDS ME OF A SONG 1368 01:13:32,800 --> 01:13:34,564 THAT I WROTE A FEW WEEKS AGO. 1369 01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:37,331 I COULD PLAY IT FOR YOU LATER IF YOU LIKE. 1370 01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:40,768 YEAH, TOTALLY. YEAH, TOTALLY. 1371 01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:42,684 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A POEM MYSELF. 1372 01:13:42,840 --> 01:13:45,650 THERE ONCE A BOY NAMED TOBY TUCKER BIANCA PIPER JUST WISHED HE WOULD... 1373 01:13:45,800 --> 01:13:50,328 OKAY, I THINK I'M GONNA USE THE BATHROOM. 1374 01:13:50,480 --> 01:13:51,686 WHERE IS IT? 1375 01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:55,003 WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME OUT THERE? 1376 01:13:55,200 --> 01:13:57,282 WHAT...? YOU'RE NOT INTO WESLEY, ARE YOU? 1377 01:13:57,440 --> 01:14:00,171 YOU BET YOUR ASS, YOU ARE. WHOO! WHO'S NUMBER ONE IN YOUR BRAIN? 1378 01:14:00,320 --> 01:14:01,840 NO. GET OUT. THIS GUY. THIS GUY IS. 1379 01:14:01,960 --> 01:14:03,644 YEAH. GET OUT. 1380 01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:06,929 OKAY, YOU'VE GOTTA PULL IT TOGETHER, OKAY? 1381 01:14:07,080 --> 01:14:11,290 TOBY TUCKER IS GONNA PLAY YOU A SONG, AND YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT. 1382 01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:13,364 HERE WE GO. 1383 01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:20,049 ARE YOU OKAY? LITTLE COLD? 1384 01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:21,804 I'M A LITTLE CHILLY, YEAH. 1385 01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:23,928 OH, HANG ON. 1386 01:14:30,720 --> 01:14:32,245 THERE YOU GO. BETTER? 1387 01:14:32,440 --> 01:14:36,126 YEAH, DEFINITELY. THANKS. 1388 01:14:36,960 --> 01:14:39,361 SO HERE'S THE SONG. 1389 01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:42,808 BE GENTLE. I'M STILL WORKING ON IT, SO... OKAY. 1390 01:14:42,960 --> 01:14:48,285 BABY, YOU SET MY SOUL ON FIRE 1391 01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:54,291 AND, GIRL, YOU ARE MY HEART'S DESIRE 1392 01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:57,921 DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE 1393 01:14:58,080 --> 01:15:01,084 IN EVERYTHING WE DO 1394 01:15:01,240 --> 01:15:03,971 I JUST WANT IT TO BE 1395 01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:07,329 THE TWO OF US 1396 01:15:07,520 --> 01:15:09,488 I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO RHYME THAT. 1397 01:15:09,640 --> 01:15:12,803 OH, NO. IT'S SO GOOD, THOUGH. THANK YOU. I THINK IT'S GREAT. 1398 01:15:12,960 --> 01:15:15,281 I MEAN, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON IT FOR A LITTLE BIT, SO... 1399 01:15:15,440 --> 01:15:16,726 BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME. 1400 01:15:16,880 --> 01:15:19,201 I MEAN, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, AFTER THAT VIDEO CAME OUT? 1401 01:15:19,360 --> 01:15:21,362 IT'S BEEN A LITTLE TOUGH. 1402 01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:24,922 A LOT OF PEOPLE... A LOT OF PEOPLE SAW IT. HEH. I DON'T KNOW. 1403 01:15:25,120 --> 01:15:28,761 TO BE HONEST, THE SADDEST PART ABOUT IT IS THAT 1404 01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:31,281 I KIND OF GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH MY BEST FRIENDS, AND... 1405 01:15:31,440 --> 01:15:32,566 JESS AND CASEY? 1406 01:15:33,480 --> 01:15:36,211 UH, YES, JESS AND CASEY. 1407 01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:40,445 AND, UM, I DON'T KNOW, IT'S, LIKE, MY FAULT PRETTY MUCH. 1408 01:15:40,600 --> 01:15:43,285 I KIND OF WANNA REACH OUT, BUT I'M NOT REALLY SURE 1409 01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:45,880 WHAT I SHOULD DO ABOUT IT, AND... YOU SHOULD TALK TO THEM. 1410 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,243 I MEAN, THEY SEEM LIKE REALLY CARING, UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE, SO... 1411 01:15:49,400 --> 01:15:51,164 MM. MM-HM. 1412 01:15:51,320 --> 01:15:53,243 SORRY, ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THEM? 1413 01:15:53,440 --> 01:15:55,760 YEAH, JESS IS IN MY DRAMA CLASS AND I HAVE TRIG WITH CASEY. 1414 01:15:55,880 --> 01:15:58,087 OH, YEAH. YOU KNOW... 1415 01:15:58,280 --> 01:16:01,523 I MEAN, JESS IS, LIKE, AN AMAZING ACTRESS. 1416 01:16:01,680 --> 01:16:03,762 MM. AND DANCER. 1417 01:16:03,920 --> 01:16:04,967 MM. 1418 01:16:05,160 --> 01:16:06,844 AND DRESSER. OKAY. 1419 01:16:07,040 --> 01:16:10,169 AND CASEY, SHE'S, LIKE, THIS, YOU KNOW, FIERY LATINA. 1420 01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:11,685 YOU KNOW, CALIENTE, YOU KNOW. 1421 01:16:11,840 --> 01:16:13,444 YEAH, SHE'S VERY SPICY. 1422 01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:18,322 BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT REALLY FRIENDS WITH THEM RIGHT NOW, SO... 1423 01:16:23,920 --> 01:16:25,968 IS IT INTIMIDATING? 1424 01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:28,845 WHAT? 1425 01:16:29,840 --> 01:16:32,889 BEING FRIENDS WITH... AND IT'S RARE THAT I POINT THIS OUT, 1426 01:16:33,040 --> 01:16:35,805 BECAUSE I DO NOT SUBSCRIBE TO THE AMERICAN IDEAL OF FEMININE BEAUTY. 1427 01:16:35,960 --> 01:16:38,770 BUT SUCH POWERFUL WOMEN? 1428 01:16:38,920 --> 01:16:41,048 OH, NO. NO, NO, NO. 1429 01:16:41,240 --> 01:16:43,447 A FRIEND OF MINE WAS WONDERING, 1430 01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:46,649 DO THEY HAVE DATES TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE NEXT WEEKEND? 1431 01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:49,201 I TRIED TO KEEP MY COMPOSURE, BUT... 1432 01:16:57,160 --> 01:16:59,640 ARE YOU DUFFING ME? 1433 01:17:00,840 --> 01:17:01,921 EXCUSE ME? 1434 01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:03,411 YOU ARE. 1435 01:17:03,560 --> 01:17:05,562 THIS IS A DUFF. 1436 01:17:06,120 --> 01:17:10,045 YOU'RE USING ME TO TRY TO GET CLOSER TO JESS AND CASEY, 1437 01:17:10,200 --> 01:17:13,204 BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT I'M APPROACHABLE, AREN'T YOU? 1438 01:17:13,360 --> 01:17:16,603 OKAY, LOOK, WHEN YOU SAID THAT WE SHOULD HANG OUT FRIDAY, 1439 01:17:16,760 --> 01:17:18,960 I THOUGHT YOU WERE HINTING THAT THEY WERE GONNA BE HERE. 1440 01:17:19,080 --> 01:17:21,447 LIKE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SAYING THAT THEY WERE INTO ME. 1441 01:17:24,080 --> 01:17:25,889 I CAN'T... I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THIS. 1442 01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:28,000 I CAN'T BELIEVE FOR FIVE SECONDS I THOUGHT THAT... 1443 01:17:28,160 --> 01:17:30,845 BIANCA, BIANCA. WHAT? 1444 01:17:31,040 --> 01:17:33,361 CAN I HAVE MY SWEATSHIRT? 1445 01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:36,764 HEH, OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? HERE, YOU CAN HAVE IT. 1446 01:17:36,960 --> 01:17:38,121 OH. 1447 01:17:40,560 --> 01:17:42,403 OH, HELL, NO. 1448 01:17:45,480 --> 01:17:46,720 MR. SUSHI? 1449 01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:50,564 THE SONG WAS MINE. YEAH. 1450 01:17:51,320 --> 01:17:53,322 I'M NOT SURPRISED, BECAUSE IT WAS A PIECE OF SHIT. 1451 01:17:53,520 --> 01:17:56,091 AND SO ARE YOU. HAVE A NICE NIGHT. 1452 01:18:01,040 --> 01:18:02,929 HELLO? WES, IT'S BIANCA. 1453 01:18:03,080 --> 01:18:04,411 JUST KIDDING. IT'S MY VOICE MAIL. 1454 01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:07,603 WES, IT'S BIANCA. 1455 01:18:07,760 --> 01:18:11,401 SO IT TURNS OUT THAT TOBY'S BEEN DUFFING ME THE WHOLE TIME. 1456 01:18:11,560 --> 01:18:14,131 AND I'VE JUST BEEN THINKING ABOUT SOME STUFF, AND I JUST... 1457 01:18:14,280 --> 01:18:17,682 I'D REALLY LIKE TO TALK TO YOU, OKAY? CALL ME BACK. 1458 01:19:11,880 --> 01:19:13,405 HEY, I GOT YOUR MESSAGE. 1459 01:19:13,600 --> 01:19:16,410 YEAH, UM, FORGET ABOUT IT. JUST GO HOME. 1460 01:19:16,600 --> 01:19:19,649 LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT TOBY. 1461 01:19:19,800 --> 01:19:21,450 OKAY? HE'S AN IDIOT. 1462 01:19:23,240 --> 01:19:25,766 YOU KNOW, I SAW YOU AND MADISON. 1463 01:19:27,840 --> 01:19:31,367 OKAY. YOU WERE AT MY SPECIAL PLACE. 1464 01:19:31,520 --> 01:19:33,010 YOU KNOW, THAT'S MY THINK ROCK. 1465 01:19:33,800 --> 01:19:35,370 YOU SAID I COULD USE IT. 1466 01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:37,807 NOT AS A MOTEL 6, WES. 1467 01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:39,764 YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH TOBY. 1468 01:19:41,800 --> 01:19:44,929 ARE YOU SERIOUSLY MAD AT ME RIGHT NOW? 1469 01:19:45,080 --> 01:19:46,320 I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS. 1470 01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,606 COME ON, WE'RE NOT FRIENDS. 1471 01:19:49,800 --> 01:19:51,848 YOU KNOW, PEOPLE LIKE YOU DON'T HANG OUT 1472 01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:54,162 WITH PEOPLE LIKE ME, YOU KNOW? 1473 01:19:54,320 --> 01:19:57,210 THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS. FOOTBALL GUYS, THEY DATE HOT CHICKS. 1474 01:19:57,360 --> 01:20:00,170 AND PEOPLE LIKE ME DON'T DATE ANYBODY. 1475 01:20:00,320 --> 01:20:02,243 I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT IT COULD BE DIFFERENT. 1476 01:20:02,440 --> 01:20:04,647 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? B, THIS ISN'T YOU. 1477 01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:09,124 PLEASE, WES, YOU'RE EMBARRASSED TO BE SEEN WITH ME AT SCHOOL. 1478 01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:10,924 OKAY? 1479 01:20:11,080 --> 01:20:12,605 IT'S JUST... 1480 01:20:12,760 --> 01:20:13,886 THIS WAS AN EXPERIMENT, 1481 01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:15,920 AND IT WORKED FOR YOU AND IT DIDN'T WORK FOR ME, 1482 01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:18,811 SO LET'S JUST FORGET IT, OKAY? 1483 01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:21,048 B... PLEASE, JUST GO HOME. 1484 01:21:37,760 --> 01:21:40,809 SO, WHAT DOES HOMECOMING MEAN TO ME? 1485 01:21:44,480 --> 01:21:45,720 THE WORD "HOMECOMING" ITSELF 1486 01:21:45,920 --> 01:21:49,208 CONJURES UP FEELINGS OF WARMTH AND COMFORT. 1487 01:21:51,840 --> 01:21:53,842 HIGH SCHOOL OFFERS ME NONE OF THAT. 1488 01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:57,288 I KNOW SOME PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU THAT HOMECOMING IS ABOUT CELEBRATING, 1489 01:21:57,440 --> 01:22:00,011 BUT TO THE MAJORITY OF KIDS IN SCHOOL, 1490 01:22:00,160 --> 01:22:02,288 IT'S JUST ANOTHER NIGHT WHERE YOU FEEL PRESSURE 1491 01:22:02,440 --> 01:22:05,284 TO FIND THE PERFECT DATE, THE PERFECT OUTFIT, 1492 01:22:05,480 --> 01:22:07,687 AND HAVE THE PERFECT EVENING. 1493 01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:14,086 COME MONDAY MORNING, IT'S BACK TO REALITY. 1494 01:22:16,080 --> 01:22:18,287 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, 1495 01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:22,524 BUT I'M HAPPY TO SIT THIS ONE OUT. 1496 01:22:27,520 --> 01:22:29,409 I DIDN'T REGRET HITTING "SEND," 1497 01:22:29,560 --> 01:22:32,609 BUT I DID REGRET HOW I LEFT THINGS WITH JESS AND CASEY. 1498 01:22:32,800 --> 01:22:36,009 SO ALL OF THIS BECAUSE OF SOME WORD? 1499 01:22:36,520 --> 01:22:38,727 IT DIDN'T FEEL LIKE JUST SOME WORD TO ME. 1500 01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:42,362 I THINK DEEP DOWN I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN YOU GUYS WERE PRETTIER THAN ME, 1501 01:22:42,560 --> 01:22:44,440 AND I FELT LIKE I COULDN'T TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT, 1502 01:22:44,560 --> 01:22:48,645 BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO BE YOUR SCHLUMPY FRIEND. 1503 01:22:48,800 --> 01:22:52,441 BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE WRONG, BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE OUR INSECURITIES. 1504 01:22:53,000 --> 01:22:54,889 THE POINT IS, WE'RE A TEAM. 1505 01:22:55,040 --> 01:22:57,930 IF ANYTHING, WE'RE KIND OF CHUMPS IN COMPARISON TO YOU. 1506 01:22:58,080 --> 01:23:00,811 OKAY, NOW YOU WENT TOO FAR. YOU HAD ME AND THEN YOU LOST ME. 1507 01:23:00,960 --> 01:23:03,804 OH, NO, SHE'S RIGHT, B. YOU ARE BY FAR THE SMARTEST ONE 1508 01:23:03,960 --> 01:23:06,088 OF THE THREE OF US. YOU'RE LOYAL, YOU'RE FUNNY. 1509 01:23:06,240 --> 01:23:10,131 AND WE CAN'T BE BIANCA, JESS AND CASEY WITHOUT BIANCA. 1510 01:23:11,840 --> 01:23:13,330 THANKS. 1511 01:23:13,480 --> 01:23:14,970 OH. 1512 01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:16,167 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 1513 01:23:16,320 --> 01:23:18,846 TONIGHT HOW ABOUT WE DITCH OUR DATES AND HAVE A GIRLS' NIGHT? 1514 01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:20,729 DONE. WHAT? NO, NO WAY. 1515 01:23:20,880 --> 01:23:23,406 GUYS, IT'S HOMECOMING. YOU'RE DEFINITELY GOING. 1516 01:23:23,600 --> 01:23:26,251 I JUST... I CAN'T SEE WES. 1517 01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:28,971 OR TOBY. OR ANYONE, FOR THAT MATTER. 1518 01:23:29,120 --> 01:23:32,841 JUST LET ME STAY HERE AND LIE AMONGST THE PIZZA A LITTLE LONGER. 1519 01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:35,321 ABSOLUTELY NOT. MOM. 1520 01:23:35,760 --> 01:23:39,367 YOU'RE LISTENING AT THE DOOR AGAIN? YES, I WAS. THIS IS JUICY STUFF. 1521 01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:40,726 NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE. 1522 01:23:40,880 --> 01:23:43,611 MOM, I'VE BEEN THROUGH ALL OF YOUR STAGES, OKAY? 1523 01:23:43,760 --> 01:23:47,685 I AM ALREADY AT THE FIFTH ACCEPTANCE. 1524 01:23:47,840 --> 01:23:51,003 HONEY, FORGET ABOUT THE FIVE STAGES. I HAVE GOT SOME REAL ADVICE FOR YOU. 1525 01:23:51,160 --> 01:23:53,766 WE'RE GONNA CALL IT, UH, STAGE 11. 1526 01:23:53,960 --> 01:23:55,928 YEAH, IT'S SORT OF ACCEPTANCE PLUS, 1527 01:23:56,080 --> 01:23:58,481 WHERE YOU REALIZE WHO YOU ARE, YOU ACCEPT IT, 1528 01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:00,529 AND THEN YOU, UM, 1529 01:24:00,720 --> 01:24:04,122 TURN IT UP TO 11. 1530 01:24:04,280 --> 01:24:06,123 IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE ROBERT PATTINSON? 1531 01:24:06,280 --> 01:24:08,886 NO, SPINAL TAP. 1532 01:24:09,040 --> 01:24:10,121 THE MOVIE, SPINAL TAP. 1533 01:24:10,280 --> 01:24:11,964 "THIS ONE GOES TO 11." 1534 01:24:12,120 --> 01:24:13,645 LET'S STOP. 1535 01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:17,202 ALL RIGHT, HONEY, YOU'RE A WEIRDO. 1536 01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:20,324 FINE, OWN IT. BE THE BEST WEIRDO YOU CAN BE. 1537 01:24:20,480 --> 01:24:22,280 YOU HAVE SPENT THE LAST MONTH WORRYING SO MUCH 1538 01:24:22,400 --> 01:24:23,960 ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU. 1539 01:24:24,120 --> 01:24:27,169 HOW ABOUT TONIGHT YOU JUST WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOU? 1540 01:24:27,320 --> 01:24:30,403 NOW, I WANT YOU TO GET CLEANED UP, I WANT YOU TO GO TO THAT DANCE, 1541 01:24:30,560 --> 01:24:33,928 AND ROCK THAT HOMECOMING LIKE MY BIANCA PIPER WOULD. 1542 01:24:34,320 --> 01:24:36,004 PASSION PLUS ACTION... 1543 01:24:36,160 --> 01:24:39,130 OH, MY GOD, I'M DOING IT AGAIN. NO, NO, IT'S OKAY, IT'S WORKING. 1544 01:24:39,280 --> 01:24:42,682 YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS. I'M FEELING MAD INSPIRED. 1545 01:24:42,840 --> 01:24:44,763 I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA. 1546 01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:10,806 HMM. 1547 01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:13,606 THERE IT IS. I GOTTA SAY, THIS IS SOME OF MY BEST WORK. 1548 01:25:13,760 --> 01:25:16,730 YOU ARE VERY TALENTED. IT'S REALLY PERFECT, JESS. 1549 01:25:16,920 --> 01:25:20,606 ALL RIGHT, I JUST TALKED WITH THE GUYS, AND I TOLD THEM WE'RE GOING ALONE. 1550 01:25:20,800 --> 01:25:24,122 OOH. YES. THANKS. 1551 01:25:24,280 --> 01:25:25,691 SO SHALL WE? 1552 01:25:27,040 --> 01:25:28,326 LET'S DO THIS SHIT. 1553 01:25:28,480 --> 01:25:30,164 FUCKING A. 1554 01:25:30,320 --> 01:25:32,163 MOM. SORRY. 1555 01:25:47,200 --> 01:25:49,601 SHE LOOKS GREAT. SHE'S PULLING IT OFF. 1556 01:25:49,760 --> 01:25:51,603 DUDE, SHE'S 15 YEARS OLD, MAN. SHE'S A TEN. 1557 01:25:51,760 --> 01:25:53,410 I DON'T CARE ABOUT 15. SHE'S A TEN. 1558 01:26:05,240 --> 01:26:09,165 AND THEN SHE WAS ALL LIKE, "BITCH, IF I WANTED YOUR OPINION, I'D ASK." 1559 01:26:09,320 --> 01:26:12,244 AND I WAS ALL LIKE, "BITCH, IF I CARED WHAT YOU THOUGHT, I'D ASK." 1560 01:26:12,400 --> 01:26:14,528 UGH, MY GRANDMA IS SO ANNOYING. 1561 01:26:14,680 --> 01:26:17,968 HA-HA-HA. WESLEY, WHAT TIME IS IT? 1562 01:26:19,280 --> 01:26:20,361 NINE-FIFTEEN. 1563 01:26:20,920 --> 01:26:22,968 OKAY, THEY'RE ANNOUNCING KING AND QUEEN SOON, 1564 01:26:23,120 --> 01:26:26,124 SO, CAITLYN, I WANNA GO OVER BY THE STAGE AND GET THE VERY BEST LIGHTING. 1565 01:26:26,320 --> 01:26:28,049 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 1566 01:26:52,560 --> 01:26:54,130 WOW. 1567 01:27:01,000 --> 01:27:04,129 UM, YOU GUYS, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, OKAY? 1568 01:27:07,640 --> 01:27:09,802 AWESOME DRESS, BIANCA. THANKS, ROBIN. 1569 01:27:09,960 --> 01:27:11,962 HEY, BIANCA, ABOUT THE OTHER... SHH, SHH, SHH. 1570 01:27:12,160 --> 01:27:13,525 UH... 1571 01:27:14,160 --> 01:27:16,322 HEY. HEY. 1572 01:27:18,440 --> 01:27:22,286 I COULD TELL FROM ACROSS THE ROOM THAT WE MIGHT BE INTO EACH OTHER. 1573 01:27:22,440 --> 01:27:24,886 NOW THAT I'M HERE, I'M SURE. YOUR MOVE. 1574 01:27:25,040 --> 01:27:26,451 WOW. HOW WAS THAT? 1575 01:27:26,600 --> 01:27:28,887 THAT WAS NOT BAD. 1576 01:27:29,040 --> 01:27:30,929 SHOULD I'VE GONE WITH "WIENER IN YOUR MOUTH"? 1577 01:27:31,080 --> 01:27:34,289 NO, NO. DEFINITELY NOT. HA, HA. 1578 01:27:34,440 --> 01:27:37,683 UM... WOW, UM... 1579 01:27:37,840 --> 01:27:39,001 YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 1580 01:27:39,160 --> 01:27:40,924 THANKS. 1581 01:27:42,000 --> 01:27:45,686 LOOK, UM, ABOUT WHAT I SAID THE OTHER DAY, 1582 01:27:45,840 --> 01:27:49,890 OF COURSE WE'RE FRIENDS, AND THAT'S COOL. 1583 01:27:50,800 --> 01:27:57,524 BUT A GUY I KNOW ONCE TOLD ME THAT IF YOU LIKE SOMEBODY, 1584 01:27:57,680 --> 01:28:00,365 YOU SHOULD JUST BE STRAIGHT-UP WITH THEM 1585 01:28:00,520 --> 01:28:03,683 AND TELL THEM THAT YOU'RE INTO THEM. 1586 01:28:03,920 --> 01:28:07,891 SO I GUESS THAT'S KIND OF WHAT I'M DOING. 1587 01:28:08,520 --> 01:28:10,841 WAIT, YOU'RE INTO ME? 1588 01:28:12,960 --> 01:28:14,166 YEAH. 1589 01:28:14,320 --> 01:28:16,004 UM... 1590 01:28:16,160 --> 01:28:20,927 I, UH... I KIND OF JUST GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH MADISON. 1591 01:28:21,800 --> 01:28:23,040 OH. 1592 01:28:24,000 --> 01:28:27,004 BUT THAT'S GOOD IF YOU'RE HAPPY. 1593 01:28:27,160 --> 01:28:28,924 WHAT THE SHIT? OW. 1594 01:28:29,080 --> 01:28:30,969 GET OUT OF MY WAY. 1595 01:28:33,440 --> 01:28:36,683 WOW, THAT IS AN INTERESTING DRESS. 1596 01:28:36,840 --> 01:28:38,922 WHO MAKES THAT, BUILD-A-BEAR? 1597 01:28:39,840 --> 01:28:42,491 SINCE YOU CAN'T SEEM TO LEAVE MY BOYFRIEND ALONE, 1598 01:28:42,640 --> 01:28:45,211 I CANNOT WAIT TO RELEASE YOUR VIDEO TOMORROW. 1599 01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:49,528 GOOD. I'M GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT IT. GO RIGHT AHEAD. 1600 01:28:49,680 --> 01:28:51,967 FINE, I WILL. 1601 01:28:52,880 --> 01:28:56,282 PLUS, WESLEY WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME FOR SOME DUFF ANYWAY. 1602 01:28:56,440 --> 01:28:58,169 LOOK, MADISON... IT'S OKAY. 1603 01:28:58,920 --> 01:29:02,720 OOH. MADISON, YOU USED TO MAKE ME SO UPSET, 1604 01:29:02,880 --> 01:29:04,882 BUT NOW I JUST FEEL BAD FOR YOU. 1605 01:29:05,040 --> 01:29:06,610 YEAH, I'M SOMEBODY'S DUFF. 1606 01:29:06,760 --> 01:29:09,604 GUESS WHAT, SO ARE YOU. SO IS EVERYBODY. 1607 01:29:09,760 --> 01:29:12,923 THERE'S ALWAYS GONNA BE SOMEBODY PRETTIER OR MORE TALENTED 1608 01:29:13,080 --> 01:29:14,809 OR RICHER THAN YOU, 1609 01:29:14,960 --> 01:29:16,803 BUT IT SHOULDN'T AFFECT HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF. 1610 01:29:16,960 --> 01:29:19,327 YOU LABEL EVERYBODY TO TRY TO KEEP THEM DOWN, 1611 01:29:19,480 --> 01:29:22,131 BUT YOU END UP MISSING OUT ON ALL THIS GREAT STUFF AROUND YOU. 1612 01:29:22,280 --> 01:29:26,524 YOU HAVE WESLEY, AND YOU TREAT HIM LIKE HE'S STUPID, BUT HE ISN'T. 1613 01:29:26,680 --> 01:29:28,603 AND PEOPLE DON'T LIKE HIM, BECAUSE HE'S WITH YOU. 1614 01:29:28,800 --> 01:29:31,007 THEY LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE'S, LIKE, AN AMAZING GUY. 1615 01:29:31,160 --> 01:29:33,640 LOOK, I LIKE MYSELF. 1616 01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:35,808 I WOULDN'T WANNA BE ANYBODY ELSE. 1617 01:29:35,960 --> 01:29:39,009 AND I REALIZE NOW THAT NONE OF THIS MATTERS TO ME. 1618 01:29:39,160 --> 01:29:41,640 BUT IT DOES TO YOU. IT'S YOUR DREAM. 1619 01:29:41,800 --> 01:29:43,325 AND I TOTALLY SUPPORT THAT. 1620 01:29:43,520 --> 01:29:46,808 JUST DON'T TEAR ME DOWN FOR NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT YOUR LABELS, 1621 01:29:46,960 --> 01:29:49,440 BECAUSE IN THE END, THEY'RE MEANINGLESS. 1622 01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:50,886 WHAT? 1623 01:29:51,040 --> 01:29:53,646 WHATEVER YOU SAID WAS MEANINGLESS, OKAY? 1624 01:29:53,800 --> 01:29:56,087 YOU DON'T EVEN GET IT. THIS IS NOT MY DREAM. 1625 01:29:56,280 --> 01:29:58,200 I DON'T NEED TO... OKAY, BLUE DEVILS. 1626 01:29:58,320 --> 01:29:59,401 OH, MY GOD, HERE IT IS. 1627 01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:01,605 IT'S HAPPENING. 1628 01:30:03,160 --> 01:30:07,290 OKAY, BLUE DEVILS, IT'S TIME TO CROWN OUR KING AND QUEEN. 1629 01:30:09,440 --> 01:30:11,249 HEY, HOW'D IT GO? 1630 01:30:13,160 --> 01:30:16,721 ACTUALLY, REALLY GOOD. THIS YEAR'S HOMECOMING QUEEN IS... 1631 01:30:16,880 --> 01:30:19,008 THIS ONE'S GOT ME A LITTLE NERVOUS. 1632 01:30:19,360 --> 01:30:21,249 MS. MADISON MORGAN. 1633 01:30:22,640 --> 01:30:24,165 ME? WHAT? 1634 01:30:24,320 --> 01:30:25,890 OH, MY GOD, OF COURSE. 1635 01:30:26,040 --> 01:30:28,122 MADISON! 1636 01:30:31,200 --> 01:30:33,043 CONGRATULATIONS, MADISON. I KNEW IT WAS ME. 1637 01:30:33,200 --> 01:30:34,690 KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. 1638 01:30:35,080 --> 01:30:37,845 YEAH, MADISON. ALL RIGHT. 1639 01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:42,085 AND THIS YEAR'S HOMECOMING KING IS... 1640 01:30:42,240 --> 01:30:44,083 DRUMROLL, PLEASE. 1641 01:30:45,280 --> 01:30:48,090 MR. WESLEY RUSH. 1642 01:30:58,240 --> 01:31:00,083 WESLEY RUSH. 1643 01:31:00,240 --> 01:31:02,686 HOMECOMING KING. COME ON UP. 1644 01:31:02,840 --> 01:31:05,810 WESLEY. WESLEY. 1645 01:31:06,600 --> 01:31:07,726 WESLEY. 1646 01:31:11,560 --> 01:31:12,641 WHERE'S WESLEY? 1647 01:31:21,120 --> 01:31:22,724 AREN'T YOU GONNA GO GET YOUR CROWN? 1648 01:31:24,240 --> 01:31:26,607 NO, I'M GONNA GET THE GIRL. 1649 01:31:46,320 --> 01:31:49,767 YEAH, BIANCA! LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. 1650 01:31:49,920 --> 01:31:53,083 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 1651 01:31:54,160 --> 01:31:56,128 YEAH, ALL RIGHT. 1652 01:31:56,600 --> 01:31:58,090 DAMN. 1653 01:31:58,280 --> 01:32:00,726 IT WAS DEFINITELY THE DRESS. 1654 01:32:00,880 --> 01:32:04,009 THAT IS REALLY GREAT. YEAH, HE IS HOT. 1655 01:32:08,960 --> 01:32:10,720 ARE WE BREAKING INTO THE NEWSROOM TO HOOK UP? 1656 01:32:10,800 --> 01:32:12,689 YOU BET WE ARE. WHO ARE YOU? 1657 01:32:20,480 --> 01:32:21,606 WESLEY? WHAT? 1658 01:32:21,800 --> 01:32:23,962 I JUST WANT TO... I JUST WANT TO... ONE MORE THING. 1659 01:32:24,120 --> 01:32:26,805 WHAT? WHAT? JUST ONE THING. 1660 01:32:26,960 --> 01:32:29,042 NO, THEY BLOCK OUT ALL THE GOOD SITES. 1661 01:32:29,200 --> 01:32:30,929 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I JUST HAVE TO... 1662 01:32:31,360 --> 01:32:34,011 NO, NO, IF YOU'RE DOING HOMEWORK, I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF. 1663 01:32:34,160 --> 01:32:36,242 IT'S JUST ONE QUICK THING. IT'S FOR MY ARTICLE. 1664 01:32:36,440 --> 01:32:38,761 I'M FEELING INSPIRED. 1665 01:32:38,960 --> 01:32:41,645 OKAY, HERE, JUST RUB MY SHOULDERS. RIGHT. 1666 01:32:45,000 --> 01:32:47,241 WHAT DOES HOMECOMING MEAN TO ME? 1667 01:32:47,400 --> 01:32:49,448 IF YOU ASKED ME AT THE BEGINNING OF SENIOR YEAR, 1668 01:32:49,600 --> 01:32:51,807 I WOULD'VE TOLD YOU, "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING." 1669 01:32:52,000 --> 01:32:54,571 BUT TONIGHT, POSSIBLY THE GREATEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE, 1670 01:32:54,720 --> 01:32:56,324 I HAVE CHANGED MY TUNE. 1671 01:32:56,760 --> 01:32:59,331 YOU KNOW THAT ONE MOMENT IN HIGH SCHOOL THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING? 1672 01:32:59,480 --> 01:33:01,767 OKAY, I THINK I CAN PROBABLY FINISH THIS LATER. 1673 01:33:01,920 --> 01:33:05,322 IT ALL STARTED SENIOR YEAR, ABOUT A MONTH BEFORE HOMECOMING. 1674 01:33:05,480 --> 01:33:08,324 I WAS CRUISING THE HALLS WITH MY TWO BEST FRIENDS... 1675 01:33:13,520 --> 01:33:15,761 WOW, SHE'S AWESOME. 1676 01:33:15,920 --> 01:33:18,685 YEAH, SHE IS. I SHOULD FORWARD THIS. 1677 01:33:18,840 --> 01:33:21,969 VIRAL? VIRAL. 1678 01:33:22,120 --> 01:33:24,009 I'M A DUFF. 1679 01:33:24,880 --> 01:33:26,723 I AM A DUFF. 1680 01:33:26,880 --> 01:33:28,370 YEP, THAT'S ME. 1681 01:33:28,520 --> 01:33:30,727 I'M A DUFF. I'M A DUFF. 1682 01:33:34,400 --> 01:33:36,926 OKAY, GIRL, I KNOW SOME DUFFS TOO. 1683 01:33:37,880 --> 01:33:39,120 WOW. 1684 01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:41,203 FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, WHAT YOU WROTE HERE 1685 01:33:41,360 --> 01:33:43,203 STRUCK A CHORD WITH ME AS WELL. 1686 01:33:43,360 --> 01:33:48,526 I MEAN, I KNOW YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME, BUT I WAS THE DUFF OUT OF MY FRIENDS. 1687 01:33:49,360 --> 01:33:51,203 WHAT? NO. 1688 01:33:51,360 --> 01:33:54,443 THERE WAS NO COOL NAME FOR IT LIKE "THE DUFF." 1689 01:33:54,600 --> 01:33:58,002 IT WAS, LIKE, "THE DIPSHIT," UH, DOUCHE BAG. 1690 01:33:58,160 --> 01:34:00,811 A. URKEL. ASIAN URKEL. 1691 01:34:00,960 --> 01:34:03,440 NERD ASS. OKAY, NO. DIDN'T NEED... 1692 01:34:03,600 --> 01:34:05,489 DIDN'T NEED THE HELP, YOU KNOW? OH, SORRY. 1693 01:34:08,480 --> 01:34:09,606 WHOA, LOOK AT THIS. 1694 01:34:10,160 --> 01:34:12,640 THE SITE HAS THOUSANDS OF COMMENTS AND LIKES ON IT. 1695 01:34:14,080 --> 01:34:15,570 BUT THEY'RE POSITIVE THIS TIME. 1696 01:34:15,720 --> 01:34:17,085 MR. ARTHUR WAS RIGHT. 1697 01:34:17,240 --> 01:34:19,561 KIDS STARTED WRITING TO ME WITH THEIR OWN DUFF STORIES, 1698 01:34:19,720 --> 01:34:20,801 AND WHEN I POSTED THOSE, 1699 01:34:20,960 --> 01:34:24,442 MORE KIDS RESPONDED UNTIL IT JUST BECAME ITS OWN THING. 1700 01:34:25,560 --> 01:34:27,847 OH, AND WESLEY? HE PASSED SCIENCE. 1701 01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:29,684 HE'S GOING TO OHIO STATE IN THE FALL. 1702 01:34:29,840 --> 01:34:32,160 AND SINCE I GOT INTO NORTHWESTERN, WE CAN VISIT EACH OTHER. 1703 01:34:33,560 --> 01:34:34,971 A LOT. 1704 01:34:46,280 --> 01:34:48,203 HEY, NEIGHBOR-SLASH-BOYFRIEND. 1705 01:34:48,360 --> 01:34:50,886 HI, NEIGHBOR-SLASH-GIRLFRIEND. 1706 01:34:54,240 --> 01:34:55,810 YOU HUNGRY? I'M HUNGRY. 1707 01:34:56,000 --> 01:34:57,490 YEAH, I COULD EAT. GOOD. 1708 01:34:57,640 --> 01:34:59,449 BECAUSE I WAS HOPING TO TAKE YOU TO DINNER. 1709 01:34:59,600 --> 01:35:01,921 OOH. HOW ABOUT A LITTLE DAVE & BUSTER'S? 1710 01:35:02,080 --> 01:35:03,206 SKEE-BALL? AH! 1711 01:35:03,360 --> 01:35:06,887 A DARK BOOTH? YEAH. AH! I LOVE IT WHEN YOU TALK DIRTY TO ME. 1712 01:35:07,040 --> 01:35:11,250 MAYBE WE'LL ACCIDENTALLY TOUCH KNEES. OH, CAN I? 1713 01:35:11,400 --> 01:35:13,687 BIANCA KISS WES NOW? 1714 01:35:13,840 --> 01:35:16,127 OH, MONSTER VOICE SEXY. 1715 01:35:17,600 --> 01:35:21,650 IN THE END, IT'S NOT ABOUT POPULARITY OR EVEN GETTING THE GUY. 1716 01:35:21,800 --> 01:35:22,961 IT'S ABOUT UNDERSTANDING 1717 01:35:23,120 --> 01:35:25,327 THAT NO MATTER WHAT LABEL IS THROWN YOUR WAY, 1718 01:35:25,480 --> 01:35:27,642 ONLY YOU CAN DEFINE YOURSELF. 1719 01:35:27,800 --> 01:35:29,882 TAKE IT FROM A DUFF. 1720 01:35:51,040 --> 01:35:53,884 HIT THAT... HIT THAT, UH... THAT LONG ONE IN THE MIDDLE. 1721 01:35:54,040 --> 01:35:55,849 IT'S CALLED A SPACEBAR. 1722 01:35:59,200 --> 01:36:01,282 HEY. NOW, THAT'S A CLASSIC LOOK. 1723 01:36:01,480 --> 01:36:04,848 YOU COULD BE ON THE COVER OF GQ. BACK COVER. 1724 01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:07,685 JUST A VEST. OKAY, MACGYVER. 1725 01:36:07,840 --> 01:36:10,844 YOU TALK ABOUT MY SON ONE MORE F*** TIME. 1726 01:36:22,640 --> 01:36:23,687 BLUH! 1727 01:36:23,880 --> 01:36:26,326 I SWEAR, I'M JUST FEELING THE PRESSURE. 1728 01:36:44,040 --> 01:36:45,485 IF THIS MAKES IT TO TOSHI, 1729 01:36:45,640 --> 01:36:47,642 I'M TELLING YOU NOW... TOSHI. 1730 01:36:49,840 --> 01:36:51,683 NOW I KNOW YOU... HA, HA. 1731 01:36:52,240 --> 01:36:53,730 NOW I KNOW THAT YOU... HA, HA. 1732 01:37:03,960 --> 01:37:05,962 HA-HA-HA. THIS IS NOT... 1733 01:37:06,120 --> 01:37:08,088 THIS IS A... HMM. NOT THE ARTICLE I WANT. 1734 01:37:08,240 --> 01:37:10,607 DAD, 17 PA... BUT IT ARTICLE WE NEED. 1735 01:37:15,720 --> 01:37:17,768 HEY, TREVOR. HAVE FUN TONIGHT, TREVOR. 1736 01:37:17,920 --> 01:37:20,241 I HATE YOU. NO, YOU LOOK ADORABLE. 1737 01:37:20,400 --> 01:37:22,562 MM. ISH. 1738 01:37:22,720 --> 01:37:24,484 I'M NOT HAPPY! 1739 01:37:24,640 --> 01:37:26,529 I HAVEN'T BEEN KISSED IN YEARS. 1740 01:37:26,680 --> 01:37:29,160 CAN WE DO ONE MORE...? OKAY, NOT AGAIN. 1741 01:37:32,960 --> 01:37:34,564 OH, ARE WE MAKING A MOVIE?