My special day had veered off course
so many times I'd lost track.
Val hijacking graduation for her wedding? Okay.
My mother getting ordained online
so she could marry my guidance counselor
to some stuffed bear she met on a ski trip, why not?
The love of my life, who I thought
I had all summer with
telling me he's leaving?
I really needed some space.
Jenna Hamilton, Jenna Hamilton,
please report to my office. Just kidding.
Please report to me right now because you're my Maid of Honor.
Everyone, let's give it up for J-Town.
[cheers and applause]
[upbeat music]
♪
[cheers and applause]
Sweetie, I know, it's so emotional.
I'm getting married.
You look so beautiful.
You know what? You look a little too beautiful.
You're gonna have to back it up, J-Town.
You're upstaging the bride.
That's good. Thank you.
Here we go. Thank you.
Dear friends,
we are gathered here today for... well, your graduation.
I'm so sorry.
Also to join this man
and this woman in holy cat-rimony.
I didn't know how to break it to you.
- Will you please go sit down? - If anyone can show cause why
these two people should not be joined,
speak now or forever hold your peace.
Can I just say one thing?
- No! - [crowd gasps]
Not you.
I knew Matty felt bad.
It's not like he planned this.
It was just bad timing.
Just when everything was coming together
in everyone else's world,
everything was unraveling in mine.
By the power vested in me by the online ministry
SayYouDo.net,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Kiss!
[cheers and applause]
["Wedding March" plays]
♪
Still, it was a time of new beginnings.
I had to find a way to be happy,
to take back control of my special day.
Get it, girls, get it!
[all talking at once]
And then suddenly something hit me.
Audience: Oh!
Well, something besides that.
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com
It's like some weird force
was determined to keep me and Matty apart.
Maybe we hadn't tried hard enough.
Maybe we let too many obstacles get in the way.
Whatever it was, we had wasted way too much time,
which is what I was going to put a stop to.
- Hey, Matty. - Hey.
As soon as I could figure out where the hell he went.
Your speech was so inspiring, Sadie.
- I'm so proud of you. - Whatever.
You totally used your meanness for good.
It would have been nice if someone had been there
to share it with me.
Oh, like your mommy?
Who gives a crap about that old slunt?
I'm talking about Sergio.
Anyway, who cares?
It's no big deal.
[Act As If's "Uh Huh" plays]
♪
- Come on, Tamara, let's go. - Just chillax.
I can't believe people are just leaving their programs.
I'm sure that everyone appreciates your devotion
to the school right to the end,
but you're taking some janitor's job away.
I did not spend hours of hard work on the program committee
just to have my work thrown out like an old Kleenex.
So, you're saving all of them?
Well, what else would I do with them?
Keep one and throw the rest away
like any normal, non-hoarding high school girl?
OMG, I am obsessed with "Hoarders."
Some people are bat[bleep] crazy about throwing things away.
Give that back!
Old homework, three composition books,
an A-plus book report from freshman year?
You don't need any of this, Tamara.
Don't tell me what I don't need.
I worked really hard on those.
I am allowed to preserve and commemorate my accomplishments.
Now, give it back.
- Really? - Aww, my SAT pencil.
Give it back!
Hey, sweetie, where's Matty?
Are you excited about grad night?
Your last night of high school.
Last night of a lot of things.
Hey, take a spin on the Zipper for me.
I love the Zipper.
Ah yes, what memories the Zipper at grad night
holds for me, crying and vomiting as it spun around.
You rode the Zipper when you were pregnant with me?
Of course not, the lap bar wouldn't fit around me.
I managed to get sick just watching your father.
Hey, remember when it got stuck all the way up?
The only time any zipper in your orbit
has been stuck in the up position.
Jenna, look, I know this sucks,
- I know you're pissed... - We're gonna go.
But we've really got to talk.
Okay, so...
Hey, hey, hey, guys, listen.
Listen to me.
Listen, life is going to be full of challenges.
You're gonna have roads to travel and crosses to bear,
crumbs to brush
and hairballs to flush, but you're gonna make it, okay?
- 'Cause you're strong. - Thanks, right back at you.
Oh, never buy extended warranties.
Okay, time to go.
We've got a honeymoon to get to.
Oh, I'm sorry, am I keeping you from your base need
to sweep me off to my marriage bed
so I can perform conjugal duties?
Men are such animals, but man, once you get a taste for them?
Mmm.
- One more thing, J... - Val, honeymoon.
All right, all right, all right.
[cans rattling]
So can we talk?
Absolutely not.
We only have 24 hours left, Matty.
We're not gonna waste any of it talking.
We have an entire relationship to have tonight.
There were so many things I never got to do with Matty,
so I was determined to make up for lost time.
[bell rings]
- Oh! - Ugh!
I wanted us to pack as many different experiences
as we could into our last night.
- Whoo hoo! - Aah!
[bell dings]
Hoo hoo hoo ha!
Why are you still carrying that thing?
Because the locks on my car are Brokedown Palace,
and people are sketch.
Yeah, tweakers usually pass right over a stereo or an iPhone
so they can get their hands on some old pencils.
Why do you have to be such a Rude Boy by Rihanna?
Oh, come on. Hey, T, hey.
I'm sorry.
Everything's changing.
Adam's back at Twentynine Palms,
and he's getting ready to ship out.
I'm here, and I'm getting ready to ship out.
I was class president, Jake.
What if I'm never president of anything else ever again?
What if... what if this was it?
You have a whole new life ahead of you,
a whole new world of things to be obsessive and controlling
and OCD about and to excel at.
No way, red cups?
Who would have the balls?
[Wizardz of Oz's "Light It Up" plays]
♪
Whoa.
Mama needs.
My treat. Come on.
Hey.
Oh, hold on to your allowance, Rosati.
Your money's no good here.
Oh, great, thanks. Why?
Look at you, dude.
- All downhill from here. - What?
Guys like you that wear letter jackets?
This is as good as it ever gets.
That jacket gets replaced with a cheap blazer and Dockers.
Middle management city.
Assuming you make it through some night classes
in community college.
So enjoy your last kegger on us.
They won't have these at LensCrafters.
[both laugh]
I just love cotton candy so much.
I wish I could fill a whole room with it,
and you could just roll around in it.
It'd be so cushy, except, ew,
you'd probably get blue, sticky stuff everywhere.
Will you, for the love
of all that is holy in your simple little brain,
shut the [bleep] up?
I'm just trying to take your mind
off of some of your misery and nastiness.
Why would you want to take me out of my comfort zone?
So that maybe when your night starts to get better,
you won't feel bad for being such a raving B-word to me.
What are you talking about?
Are you kidding me?
What are you doing here?
Trying to build some business
and thought you might want to see me.
You thought wrong.
This is a high school function.
You're not invited.
Shouldn't you have to have a permit or something?
Seriously? You told me she wanted to apologize.
She does.
Just wait here.
Oh, a romantic night at the beach.
Well, the real one was too windy,
plus it'd be rude to bail on grad night.
Okay, what do you keep doing?
Checking things off our to-do list.
Oh, you are very...
Organized.
No.
Empty calories.
Jenna, I am here as a friend, okay?
A friend with a conscience.
Comfort food is a slippery slope.
You're gonna be cold in your dorm,
and you're gonna be tempted
by something called instant ramen... don't do it.
The sodium alone will bloat you like nobody's business.
- Okay, sorry, guys. - Trust me.
Take it from someone who couldn't fit
into her shower stall freshman year!
Enjoy the romance.
He really wants to apologize.
He told me so.
He's really hurting and will do anything to get you back.
Then why didn't he just call me?
Because he's probably afraid to because you're so mean.
I'm not that mean.
Yes, you are!
You wouldn't even let me sit with you
on the scariest ride here!
Official make-out session
in the best make-out spot in school?
Check.
Nope, time for the drive-in movie.
Oh, I think there's one in 1977.
If we hurry to the time machine, I think we'll make it.
Come on.
Okay, so I've got "Titanic,"
"Pretty Woman," "Transformers"...
which I'll suffer through just for you...
Ooh, "Lady & The Tramp."
Um, I was enjoying just making out.
We're running out of time.
We're gonna have to go at this list two at a time now.
Jenna, don't you think we should talk about this?
At least a little?
Talking is specifically not on my list.
Yeah, but it's on mine.
And so it started.
The conversation I'd been avoiding all night.
With no summer to nurture this relationship,
what would we do?
So I mean, where do we go from here?
Do you want to... I don't know, break up?
No, just...
I don't want to do that.
- Good, neither do I. - Breaking up would suck.
We just got together.
Totally suck, so let's just stay together,
keep our relationship going.
Yeah, let's.
From opposite sides of the country.
Yeah, but we can see each other, like, a...
a few times a year,
if our breaks line up at the same time.
If we can afford plane tickets.
Oh, planes suck.
We could Skype.
Kissing a glass tablet totally sucks.
Yeah, most of these options suck.
What if we did the whole,
"When we're together, we're together," thing?
What about, "When we're not, we're not?"
- Suckular. - Suckfest.
It was so much less complicated
when I didn't know I was in love with you.
Right back at you,
though maybe I always knew I was in love with you.
You did?
You suck.
We'll figure something out.
Yeah.
Theo and Cole are Sid Vicious.
Who cares what they think?
They looked down on me,
and for what?
Because I have a letterman jacket?
You know, I worked hard for this jacket.
Oh, interesting. So would you say
that you're attached to something from your past?
And so what if I'm not going off to college?
[bleep] them.
They don't get to have an opinion about me.
Oh, my God, Jake, you're taking this way too seriously.
- Where are you going? - To give them a piece
of my mind!
[vomiting]
Argh!
[crowd reacts in disgust]
Get out of the way!
This is so disgusting.
Really? I needed this tonight?
It will wash off.
It's someone else's puke, Tamara!
And... and...
Don't.
Okay, dramz alert.
Jake, come on, that's your jacket.
Was my jacket, and that jacket is not who I am.
You're overreacting to some dumb comment.
High school has left the building.
You're totes mangling quotes. It's annoying.
As annoying as carrying a bag of old programs?
And what is that?
A pom-pom?
It was under the bleachers.
I had to.
Oh, my God.
I'm standing here holding a shriveled-up pom-pom.
Jake, this is not who I am.
That a girl.
Yeah, get rid of all of it.
Here, I'll help.
- Stupid composition books. - [laughs]
- What do you want? - What do you want?
Okay, you're wasting my time.
And you're wasting mine.
Lissa said you were hurting and needed to tell me something?
Well, Lissa said you were hurting
and wanted to tell me something.
Both: Lissa?
Okay, okay, but it's technically true.
You guys do both have something you want to say to the other,
even if you won't say it.
No, don't... don't go.
Don't go.
This should absolutely be working.
It totally worked in "The Parent Trap."
Lissa, keep your moronic Disney
wish fulfillment for your own life.
I tried it with Mommy and Daddy,
and it almost worked except Daddy's too gay,
but they're friends now, and since Sergio's not gay
this should be working, darn it!
That is literally the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
Sadita, don't be rude.
But yeah, beyond dumb.
Loco.
- Do you have any tomatillo? - Get the [bleep] out of here!
Stand down, Lissa.
I've missed some of your rudeness.
And I missed your tomatillo breath.
I love "The Parent Trap."
Want to make out?
[laughing]
Here lies the red cup,
symbolizing my quest
for popularity, my desperate need to fit in.
Nope.
I feel good about this, Jake.
I think we've come a long way.
I'm kind of glad we're together tonight.
Oh, gee, thanks.
I just mean there's no one better
to close out high school with.
I... yeah, I kind of wouldn't want to be with anyone else.
Hey.
Are we interrupting something?
Only the last moments
of the most profound realz I've ever had,
the life-altering conclusions about who I am,
and the bold choices I have made to celebrate those conclusions.
She dumped a bunch of her old [bleep].
Oh, awesome.
Now just throw Hamilturd in there,
- and it'll be a clean sweep. - Sadita.
Sadie, not the best time.
God, lighten up, everyone.
It's okay, guys. She's just making a joke.
I didn't mean to really throw you in the dumpster.
Why is everyone being so weird tonight?
We're out of this [bleep]hole.
We have the entire summer to do anything we want.
That didn't feel as good as I always thought it would.
Hey.
It's no use.
What's the point?
You're gone in the morning.
Maybe if we'd had a summer...
What if I... I blow off soccer camp?
No, this is just the way things are.
We've always had bad timing,
and this time it's nobody's fault,
- but... - But?
Maybe it would be easier for both of us if we...
♪ The spell is broken ♪
♪
Yeah.
♪ I am here with ye ♪
♪
♪ Is this love ♪
♪
♪ This could kill me ♪
[sobbing]
I spent the night alone.
I was probably the stupidest thing I'd ever done,
or the smartest.
All I wanted was for Matty to knock on that door,
to tell me that he wasn't leaving
and that it wasn't unfair of me to want that.
[knocking on door]
Surprise.
Oh, God, not now, please?
It's not a good time.
This will only take a few minutes,
but it is an important few minutes.
I thought of a few more things.
First, floss is your friend, okay?
- You do not... - And she went on and on.
Eat organic.
You will be shocked at the volume in your stool...
And on.
Trust your heart, because every moment counts.
Also, be wary of llamas.
Well...
that's all I got, J-Town, so happy trails,
and you have a good life.
It was a miracle.
It had taken four long years,
but something Val said actually resonated.
"Trust your heart, because every moment counts."
Val?
Thank you.
[Secret & Wonder's "How The Story Ends" plays]
♪
[door opens and closes]
♪ I'm sorry for breaking you ♪
[telephone ringing]
Do you have everything you need?
Yeah, almost.
You better... you better get on the road,
- or you're gonna... - I will, Mom. I will.
I just... I have to take care of something first.
Oh.
[car horn honks]
Jenna?
Matty, we were wrong.
We can make this work.
I have no clue how, and you have no clue how,
and it's okay to be completely clueless.
- But what if... - Well, what if?
Life is just a series of moments,
and every moment in life counts no matter what the outcome is,
and I want to spend as many of those moments as I can with you.
[upbeat music]
♪
Jenna, these moments, they're counting down pretty fast.
We'll just have to find a way to squeeze out a few more.
Got room for another?
You're both pretty small.
I think we can make room.
- Bye, Miss McKibben. - Bye. Love you, Mom.
It was 15 hours to Berkeley.
At least that's what we told each other.
Really, it was seven.
- Aah! - Ah!
Give me that.
Whoa...
No peeking.
But when you drive slow...
[cars honking]
And stop for gas all the time,
and grab dinner,
and hit traffic...
Oh, thank God for traffic...
the hours add up.
Hey, there's Berkeley.
And the moments slip away.
Matty and I still had a lot to figure out,
but we knew that somehow we would.
We'd jumped through too many hoops
to let a little thing like distance come between us.
We wouldn't let it, because deep down
we knew that love would conquer all.
Of course, that's not quite what happened.
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com