1 00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:03,871 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:04,972 YOU APPLIED TO COLLEGE? 3 00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:06,040 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 4 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,208 - I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE. 5 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,909 - WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM. - TOTALLY. 6 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,545 - I'M GLAD WE'RE HANGING OUT BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, JENNA. 7 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:14,248 - GABBY'S A REALLY COOL GIRL. - YEAH, SHE IS. 8 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,583 SO ARE YOU. 9 00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,554 - SENIOR YEAR WAS TWO-THIRDS OVER, 10 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,022 AND I STILL HADN'T BEEN ACCEPTED TO COLLEGE. 11 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,325 THANKFULLY, SPRING BREAK WAS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, 12 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,060 SO I'D HAVE PLENTY OF QUALITY TIME 13 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,661 TO WALLOW IN SELF-PITY. 14 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:28,862 - GREAT NEWS! 15 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,164 ALLY RENTED A BEACH HOUSE 16 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,466 IN ROSARITO, MEXICO, FOR SPRING BREAK, 17 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,502 AND THE WHOLE FAMILY IS INVITED. 18 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:38,372 WE ARE GOING SPRING BREAKING! 19 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,174 - SPRING BREAK WITH SADIE: PASS. 20 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,409 - WELL, YOU CAN BRING TAMARA. 21 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:42,710 ALLY SAID THE HOUSE IS HUGE, 22 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,245 AND SADIE'S INVITED LOTS OF FRIENDS 23 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,046 TO CELEBRATE HER ACCEPTANCE TO COLUMBIA. 24 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,549 AND I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE A TEQUILA SHOT FOR BREAKFAST. 25 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,850 - THAT'S GREAT, MOM. 26 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,585 YOU AND SADIE HAVE A LOT TO CELEBRATE, 27 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,654 WHAT, WITH YOU BOTH GOING TO COLLEGE IN THE FALL. 28 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:56,624 - YEAH, CAN YOU JUST KEEP THAT STUFF BETWEEN US FOR NOW? 29 00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:57,925 - YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD HIM? 30 00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,128 - I'M WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME. 31 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:01,529 - TIME FOR WHAT? 32 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,464 - SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM GOT INTO LOCKARD COLLEGE. 33 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,899 - OH, THANK GOD. I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING, 34 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,768 BUT IF YOU WEREN'T ACCEPTED ANYWHERE BY SPRING BREAK, 35 00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,870 I WAS REALLY GOING TO START TO WORRY. 36 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,206 - OH. 37 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,407 NOT ME. 38 00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:17,678 - SURPRISE! 39 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,519 - WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 40 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,156 - WHEN I WAS VISITING CAMPUSES WITH JENNA THIS FALL, 41 00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,157 I STARTED THINKING, 42 00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:30,191 "IS IT REALLY TOO LATE FOR ME?" 43 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,559 - YES. - WHAT? 44 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:33,194 YOU APPLIED TO COLLEGE WITHOUT TELLING ME? 45 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,763 - BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T GET IN, THERE WOULD BE NOTHING TO TELL. 46 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:38,031 BUT...I GOT IN. 47 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:41,869 - SO YOU'RE GONNA COMMUTE OR PLEDGE A SORORITY, OR WHAT? 48 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,637 AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD FOR ALL OF THAT? 49 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,339 - YEAH, MOM, IF YOU WANT TO PARTY, 50 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,175 WHY DON'T YOU JUST JOIN THE COUNTRY CLUB 51 00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:48,976 LIKE ALL THE OTHER NORMAL MOMS? 52 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,179 - I DO NOT WANT TO PARTY. 53 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,247 I WANT A CAREER. 54 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:54,982 I THINK I MIGHT BECOME A FIXER. 55 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,250 - A FIXER? 56 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,251 THAT'S A CAREER? 57 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,619 - YES, YOU CALL A FIXER 58 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,521 WHEN YOU'RE IN REAL DEEP. 59 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,590 AND THEY MAKE ALL KINDS OF SECRET PHONE CALLS 60 00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,725 TO THE POLICE AND PRESS-- WHOEVER. 61 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,860 - MOM, THAT'S NOT A CAREER, THAT'S A TV SHOW. 62 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,730 - LACE, YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TO GO. 63 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,599 I MEAN, IT'S ENOUGH THAT YOU GOT IN. 64 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,334 I AM PROUD OF YOU. 65 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,035 - OH, NO. 66 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,504 I'M GOING. 67 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,339 I JUST NEED TO DO A LITTLE MORE RESEARCH. 68 00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,873 I CALL THE TV TONIGHT. 69 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,076 - LOOK AT HER, 70 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:26,013 HOLDING COURT LIKE SOME NEWLY ENGAGED KARDASHIAN. 71 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,248 CONGRATS, SADIE. 72 00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,449 - YEAH, CONGRATS. 73 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,817 - RIGHT BACK AT YOU, 74 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,920 IF YOU EVER GET ACCEPTED TO ANYWHERE, HAMILTON. 75 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,058 - I HAD TRIED TO PUT MY GUILTY CONSCIENCE 76 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:40,594 ABOUT MY DRUNKEN HOOKUP WITH MATTY TO BED, 77 00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,963 BUT I SENSED A WAKE-UP CALL WAS ON ITS WAY. 78 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,232 - VERY COOL, SADIE. 79 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:46,500 LOTS TO CELEBRATE ON SPRING BREAK IN ROSARITO. 80 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,501 THANKS AGAIN FOR INCLUDING ME. 81 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,802 - OF COURSE. 82 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,471 IGNORE ANYTHING MY SLAGGY AUNT ALLY SAYS. 83 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:51,939 SHE THINKS SHE'S USING ALL MY FRIENDS 84 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:55,376 TO MULE MEXICAN PHARMACEUTICALS ACROSS THE BORDER. 85 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:58,011 - HEY, THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR HELP WITH MATTY'S PARTY. 86 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,580 BY THE WAY, YOU LEFT YOUR TEQUILA AT HIS HOUSE. 87 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,415 - OH, NO, I GOT IT. 88 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:02,783 - YOU DID? WHEN? 89 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,352 IT WAS DEFINITELY STILL THERE AFTER YOU LEFT. 90 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:05,353 - I DROPPED IT OFF TO HER. 91 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,387 I TOOK IT TO HER ON... 92 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,621 - SATURDAY. - SUNDAY. 93 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,523 SOMETIME OVER THE WEEKEND. - YEAH. 94 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,426 - OH, WELL, THANKS AGAIN FOR BRINGING IT. 95 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,295 I DEFINITELY OWE YOU ONE. 96 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,463 - OH, HEY, GABBY. 97 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,597 TEAM MEETING BEFORE CLASS. 98 00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:17,598 - GOT TO RUN, SEE YA. 99 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,267 - OKAY, BYE. 100 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,269 - BYE. 101 00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:22,370 - I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON. 102 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:23,404 - NO, YOU'RE NOT. 103 00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,505 - WHAT DO YOU KNOW? 104 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:25,573 YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON TOO. 105 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,140 I FEEL TERRIBLE LYING TO HER. 106 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,176 MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST TELL HER ABOUT THE HOOKUP. 107 00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,177 - WHAT? NO. 108 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:31,178 WHY WOULD WE DO THAT? 109 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:32,646 - ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED 110 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,014 IS THAT SECRETS ALWAYS HAVE A WAY OF COMING OUT. 111 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,616 THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT WE STOPPED 112 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:36,617 BEFORE IT WENT TOO FAR. 113 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:37,818 - EXACTLY. 114 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:40,554 IT WAS JUST A KISS, NOT A BIG DEAL. 115 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,324 - BOYS, WAIT UP. 116 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,525 I NEED SOMETHING. 117 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,495 - AW, PRINCESS, KEEP UP THE SWEET TALK. 118 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,497 - YOUR WISH IS YOUR DEMAND. 119 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,064 - LISTEN, I CAN'T AFFORD COLUMBIA, 120 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,301 AND I'M NOT GOING INTO DEBT FOR THE NEXT 40 YEARS. 121 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:56,203 - IS THAT A WHIFF OF DESPERATION I SMELL? 122 00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:58,171 - MMM, DESPERATION MIXED WITH BITCHERY 123 00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:00,608 IS SUCH AN INTOXICATING COCKTAIL. 124 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,209 - GOOD, SO DRINK IT UP. 125 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,378 I'M A FINALIST FOR THE ELSA HAX SCHOLARSHIP, 126 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,213 WHICH WILL GIVE ME A FREE RIDE AT COLUMBIA. 127 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,682 THEY WANT A ONE-MINUTE VIDEO SHOWING WHO I REALLY AM, 128 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,318 SO I NEED YOUR EXPERT SKILLS 129 00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,720 TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF SAD, SIMPERING SYCOPHANT 130 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,355 THEY LOVE TO THROW MONEY AT. 131 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,957 - THAT REALLY WILL REQUIRE EXPERTISE. 132 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,125 - AND POSSIBLY CGI. 133 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,960 - GREAT, I'LL SEND YOU THE DEETS. 134 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,598 JAKE, I'M SHOOTING MY SCHOLARSHIP VIDEO 135 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,766 WITH THEO AND COLE LATER, 136 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,835 AND I WANT YOU THERE TOO. - SURE. 137 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:28,836 I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT PRODUCTION 138 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,203 MAKING MY MUSIC VIDEOS. 139 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:31,739 - OH, NO, I DON'T NEED YOU FOR ANY OF THAT. 140 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,407 PLEASE, THOSE MUSIC VIDEOS WERE PATHETIC. 141 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:34,875 I NEED AN IMAGE CONSULTANT. 142 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,844 I WANT TO COME OFF AS SWEET AND SINCERE, 143 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,412 AND YOU'RE LIKE VANILLA ICE CREAM: 144 00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:39,913 BORING, BUT EVERYONE LIKES IT, 145 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:41,582 'CAUSE IT'S BLAND, BENIGN, MILQUETOAST-- 146 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:42,583 - I GET IT. 147 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:43,584 - SO WILL YOU HELP ME? 148 00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,252 PRETTY PLEASE? 149 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,756 [knocking] 150 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:52,626 [Hellogoodbye's Die Young, Die Dumb; Not Soon playing] 151 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,462 - HI. 152 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:55,829 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 153 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,130 YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. 154 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,733 - YEAH, I TRIED CALLING MY BIOLOGICAL DAD. 155 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:00,868 HIS NUMBER WAS OLD. 156 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,370 I GUESS THAT'S NO SURPRISE. 157 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,171 LIKE HE'D HAVE THE SAME NUMBER FOR 18 YEARS. 158 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,640 - WELL, MAYBE THERE'S SOMEPLACE YOU CAN GET UPDATED INFO. 159 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,175 HAVE YOU TRIED LOOKING ONLINE? 160 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:11,445 - NO, THERE'S GOTTA BE A MILLION DANIEL DURANDS. 161 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,246 - A MILLION OR... 162 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,248 136. 163 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,550 - JENNA? 164 00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,453 OH, HEY, MATTY, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE HERE. 165 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,389 YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S NAME IS GABBY, RIGHT? 166 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,757 - JEEZ, MOM, WHAT ARE YOU, TMZ? 167 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,426 - WELL, SHE'S AT THE FRONT DOOR. 168 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:33,701 - HEY. 169 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:34,968 I WANTED TO REPLACE THIS 170 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,070 SINCE MATTY TOTALED YOUR OTHER ONE. 171 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,171 - THAT IS SO SWEET. 172 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,707 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS. 173 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:40,741 SHE REALLY DIDN'T, 174 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:41,942 BECAUSE I FELT GUILTY ENOUGH. 175 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,310 - I HAVE TO SAY, 176 00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,312 I HAD DOUBTS ABOUT THIS SPRING BREAK TRIP. 177 00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:47,481 I KNOW SADIE AND MATTY GO WAY BACK, 178 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,550 BUT SHE KIND OF SCARES ME. 179 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:50,918 WE WENT TO PRE-SCHOOL TOGETHER, 180 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,420 AND MY MAIN MEMORY OF HER 181 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:55,456 WAS OF BURNING INSECTS WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS. 182 00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,625 - OH, SHE CAN STILL DO THAT TRICK... 183 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,192 WITH HER EYES. - [laughs] 184 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,428 WELL, THAT'S WHY I WAS SO GLAD TO HEAR 185 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:02,029 YOU'RE GOING ON THE TRIP TOO. 186 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,498 IT'LL BE NICE TO HAVE A REAL FRIEND THERE. 187 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,266 - THAT'S ME. 188 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,569 YOUR REAL HORRIBLE FRIEND. 189 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,140 - YOU GOT TO GO. 190 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,307 - WHY? IS SHE COMING? 191 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,743 - NO, SHE LEFT, BUT YOU GOT TO GO. 192 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,445 - RELAX, SHE DOESN'T KNOW I'M HERE. 193 00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:20,147 WE STILL HAVE TIME TO SEARCH A LITTLE BIT MORE. 194 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,248 - I CAN'T DO THIS. 195 00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:22,850 I CAN'T STAND SNEAKING AROUND. 196 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,685 MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE DOING THIS WITH GABBY INSTEAD OF ME. 197 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,454 - JEEZ, RELAX. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE 198 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:27,988 SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF EVERYTHING? 199 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,690 - IF THIS COMES OUT THE WRONG WAY 200 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,891 OR OVER SPRING BREAK, 201 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,125 IT WILL BE A BIG DEAL. 202 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,594 PROMISE ME YOU'LL TALK TO HER. 203 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:35,729 - OKAY, YEAH, WHATEVER. 204 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,601 - "I ENDED UP LIVING WITH MY AUNT, 205 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,637 WHO IS BATTLING A CHRONIC AND DEBILITATING ILLNESS"? 206 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:44,638 WHAT'S WRONG WITH ALLY? 207 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:45,639 SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S DYING. 208 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:46,474 - HER LIVER IS. 209 00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:48,141 SHE'S A DRUNKEN SLUT. 210 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,142 - YOU SHOULD JUST SAY THAT. 211 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,478 SPEAK YOUR TRUTH. 212 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,145 - NO, SHE'S TRYING TO WIN THIS THING. 213 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,481 - IF THIS WERE ABOUT BEING REAL, 214 00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:54,815 I'D TELL THESE SCHOLARSHIP PEOPLE 215 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:57,250 HOW [bleep] LUCKY THEY'D BE TO GET ME. 216 00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,488 BUT THE ELSA HAX SCHOLARSHIP COMMITTEE 217 00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,322 WANTS AN AMBASSADOR OF SUCKINESS, 218 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,124 SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO ACT IT. 219 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,594 - AH, THE BASIC BAIT-AND-BITCH SWITCH. 220 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:07,595 - EXACTLY. 221 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:08,496 SO ARE WE READY? 222 00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:10,531 LET'S GET THIS [bleep] ROLLING. 223 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,399 - ACTION. 224 00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:15,168 - AFTER MY OWN FINANCIAL REVERSAL 225 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,838 I CAME TO SEE PALOS HILLS HIGH SCHOOL 226 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:22,543 AS A GILDED CAGE OF COMPLACENCY AND ENTITLEMENT. 227 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:25,846 UNEXPECTEDLY, IT WAS WORKING ON THE FOOD TRUCK THAT-- 228 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,281 - TRY NOT TO SAY "FOOD TRUCK" LIKE YOU'RE CONSTIPATED. 229 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,750 - HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY A WORD 230 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:33,286 THAT MAKES ME THINK OF VILE, STANKY SAUSAGE? 231 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:38,792 UNEXPECTEDLY, IT WAS WORKING WITH PEOPLE 232 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,862 FROM DIFFERENT SOCIO-ECONOMIC BACKGROUNDS 233 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,532 THAT MADE ME FEEL CONNECTED TO EVERYONE, 234 00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:48,869 NOT JUST THOSE LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE BORN AFFLUENT. 235 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:53,907 THIS DUAL IMPERATIVE OF SOCIAL JUSTICE AND HUMILITY 236 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,844 IS WHAT I HOPE WILL BOTH BUTTRESS AND INFORM 237 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,912 MY STUDIES AT COLUMBIA. 238 00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,347 DID WE GET IT? 239 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,549 BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO SMILE FOR ONE MORE MINUTE, 240 00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:02,850 I AM GOING TO PUKE. 241 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,785 - YEAH, I THINK SO. 242 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,020 - HOW LONG WILL THIS TAKE TO CUT TOGETHER? 243 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,956 - IT'LL REQUIRE PAINSTAKING WORK 244 00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:12,025 TO KNIT TOGETHER 60 SECONDS WIPED OF ALL BITCHERY AND SHADE. 245 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:15,563 - GREAT, I WON'T BE NEEDING YOUR SERVICES ANY LONGER. 246 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:18,899 - COME BACK, SADIE. - OH, NO, MY DREAMS ARE RUINED. 247 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:19,967 - I WANT YOU TO EDIT IT. 248 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,569 - ME? WHAT--WHY? 249 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:23,871 - BECAUSE I GOT WHAT I NEEDED FROM THOSE TWISTED TWINKS, 250 00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:26,073 AND NOW I NEED A NICE GUY TO DO AS HE'S TOLD. 251 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,340 SO DON'T [bleep] IT UP, OKAY? 252 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,577 OH... 253 00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:32,379 AND THANK YOU SO MUCH, JAKE. 254 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,917 - I HAD SURVIVED LAST NIGHT'S CLOSE ENCOUNTER 255 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,852 AND WAS DETERMINED TO BE A BETTER FRIEND TO GABBY 256 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,054 BY LIMITING FUTURE ENCOUNTERS WITH MATTY. 257 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,856 - JEN. 258 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,625 MATTY TOLD ME WHAT WENT DOWN AFTER HIS PARTY, 259 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:45,993 AND I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. 260 00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,260 DON'T WORRY. 261 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,328 WE NEVER EVEN HAVE TO SPEAK ABOUT IT. 262 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,429 - OH, THANK GOD. 263 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,864 I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND. 264 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,866 I MEAN, WE DIDN'T MEAN FOR ANYTHING TO HAPPEN. 265 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,303 WE WERE JUST BOTH REALLY DRUNK AND SAD, AND-- 266 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:57,337 - HEY. 267 00:08:57,337 --> 00:09:00,440 - DID YOU HOOK UP WITH JENNA? 268 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,509 - I THOUGHT YOU TOLD HER. SHE SAID-- 269 00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,011 - HE TOLD ME YOU'VE BEEN TALKING A LOT 270 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,113 BECAUSE YOU'RE UPSET YOUR MOM GOT INTO COLLEGE. 271 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,447 - THAT IS TRUE, TOO. 272 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,717 - I AM SUCH AN IDIOT. 273 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,620 YOU TWO HAVE FUN ON SPRING BREAK TOGETHER. 274 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:16,123 - NO, GABBY, WAIT, IT'S-- 275 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,892 THANKS, JENNA. 276 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,093 GABBY. 277 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,632 - LET'S EAT INSIDE TODAY. 278 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:27,635 THERE'S TOO MUCH TRASH OUT HERE. 279 00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,102 - WHAT'S WITH INTIMIDATION NATION? 280 00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:32,039 I THOUGHT YOU WERE TIGHT WITH "GAB" AND HER CREW. 281 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,073 - THINGS HAVE CHANGED. 282 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,642 - OH, MY GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW? 283 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:35,943 - WHY DO YOU JUST ASSUME IT'S MY FAULT? 284 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,646 - BECAUSE I'VE KNOWN YOU MY WHOLE LIFE. 285 00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:41,715 - MATTY AND I SORT OF HOOKED UP, 286 00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,784 BRIEFLY AND BARELY, AFTER HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY. 287 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,385 - HOW COULD YOU BE SO DEJA-STUPID? 288 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,854 WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LEARN? 289 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,956 OLD BOYFRIENDS ARE LIKE CHIPS: NO DOUBLE-DIPPING. 290 00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:51,291 - IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. IT WAS A REALLY INTENSE NIGHT. 291 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,326 I'D JUST FOUND OUT THAT MY MOM GOT INTO LOCKARD, 292 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:56,229 AND MATTY... 293 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,698 - REALLY? MORE SECRETS? 294 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,199 IT'S NOT MY SECRET, IT'S MATTY'S. 295 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,068 - OKAY, I KNOW I CAN'T KEEP A SECRET, 296 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,003 BUT YOU STILL--LATER. 297 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:21,254 - I DECIDED TO FINISH MY LUNCH IN A FAMILIAR PLACE 298 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,657 WITHOUT THE JUDGMENTAL STARES. 299 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:34,567 UNFORTUNATELY, JUDGMENT WAS HARD TO OUTRUN IN HIGH SCHOOL. 300 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,737 HONESTY HAD PROVED A DANGEROUS POLICY, 301 00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,238 AND I WAS SUFFERING THE CONSEQUENCES 302 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,773 FROM GABBY AND HER CREW. 303 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:43,343 LUCKILY, I HAD A GUIDANCE COUNSELOR AVAILABLE 24/7. 304 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,012 [laughter] 305 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,447 - [muffled] SPRING BREAK, WOOT-WOOT! 306 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,916 DID YOU HEAR? 307 00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:50,751 WILL AND I ARE GOING TO BE MEETING YOU IN MEXICO. 308 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,552 - YEAH, I'M TEACHING VAL HOW TO SCUBA DIVE. 309 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,087 I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S NEVER GONE DOWN 310 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,323 AND EXPLORED ALL THE LIFE JUST TEEMING IN THE OCEAN. 311 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,624 - WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY? 312 00:10:57,624 --> 00:11:00,227 I NEVER WANTED TO GO DOWN UNTIL I MET YOU. 313 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,594 HUH? 314 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,463 - SHOULD I GIVE YOU GUYS SOME PRIVATE TIME? 315 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,332 - YEAH, THANKS. 316 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,399 - I HEARD ABOUT YOUR HOOKUP. 317 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,801 I GET IT. 318 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,469 THAT INTIMIDATION NATION GROUP SCARES ME TOO. 319 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:10,804 IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. 320 00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,372 THE ONLY WAY YOU FELT YOU COULD COMPETE 321 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,606 WAS BY SLUTTING IT UP. 322 00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,542 - IT WASN'T ABOUT THAT. I WAS SAD. 323 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:18,078 I JUST FOUND OUT MY MOM GOT INTO COLLEGE. 324 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,346 - WELL, BRAVO. 325 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,748 SHE'S CHALLENGING HERSELF, 326 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,215 EXPLORING UNCHARTED WATERS. 327 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,117 - YEAH, I UNDERSTAND LACEY'S NEED TO GROW. 328 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:27,620 WILL IS PUSHING ME TO BREAK FREE FROM MY NORMAL ROUTINE. 329 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,923 SPEAKING OF, I NEED TO BE AU COURANT 330 00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,592 ON ALL THINGS SEXUAL FOR SPRING BREAK. 331 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:35,362 IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE TO FIT TWO WHOLE-- 332 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,663 - OKAY, NOT ENGAGING. 333 00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:37,765 - OKAY, GOOD TALK. 334 00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:39,366 DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. 335 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,500 IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO, 336 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,769 OR SOMETIMES THREE. 337 00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:42,770 IT'S NOT ALL YOUR FAULT. 338 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,304 - IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. 339 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,639 THANKS TO YOU, MATTY ISN'T GOING ON SPRING BREAK. 340 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,941 - WHAT? I THOUGHT IT WAS 341 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,276 JUST GABBY WHO WASN'T GOING. 342 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,610 - MATTY IS ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE 343 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,279 I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT IN THIS SCHOOL. 344 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,181 AND NOW HE'S NOT GOING BECAUSE OF YOU 345 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:57,117 AND YOUR OVEREAGER, RASTY LITTLE BEAVER. 346 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,124 - NEXT UP, A VIDEO ESSAY SUBMITTED TO US 347 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,893 THIS VERY MORNING BY SADIE SAXTON, 348 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,594 WHO'S A FINALIST FOR THE ELSA HAX SCHOLARSHIP, 349 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:10,297 WHICH SHE HOPES WILL PAY HER WAY TO COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY. 350 00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:13,200 TAKE NOTE, ALL YOU JUNIORS. THIS IS THE KIND OF SUCKING UP 351 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,136 THAT GETS YOU A FREE RIDE TO THE IVY LEAGUE. 352 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,338 - MY NAME IS SADIE SAXTON, 353 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:21,842 AND I'M A SENIOR HERE AT PALOS HILLS--[bleep]. 354 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:22,876 CAN WE DO IT AGAIN? 355 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,577 I SAID "PALOS" LIKE A CHOLO. 356 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,979 [laughter] 357 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,815 I'VE EMBRACED MY EXPERIENCES 358 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:29,382 BEYOND THE GILDED [bleep]-- CAGES. 359 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,818 [bleep], I HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN. 360 00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:31,985 [laughter] 361 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,821 CAN YOU STOP WHISPERING? 362 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,989 STOP WHISPERING, MARY-KATE AND TRASHLEY. 363 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,257 SHUT THE [bleep] UP. 364 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,359 SHUT THE [bleep] UP OR GET OUT. 365 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,594 [laughter] 366 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,863 IF YOU ASK FOR ONE MORE TAKE, 367 00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,398 I WILL SMASH THIS CAMERA INTO YOUR BRAIN. 368 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,835 [laughter] GIVE THAT BACK TO ME--[grunts]! 369 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:50,838 [bleep] [bleep] GET IT TOGETHER, [bleep]. 370 00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:53,907 SHUT THE [bleep] UP! [laughter] 371 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:59,312 I AM GOING TO FLAY AND MURDER YOU... 372 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,848 VERY SLOWLY. 373 00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:02,182 - THAT SOUNDS HOT. 374 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,417 BUT, SADLY, CAN'T TAKE CREDIT. 375 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,685 JAKE IS YOUR MAN. 376 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:09,022 SOMEONE SPIKED THAT VANILLA SHAKE WITH A LITTLE RUM. 377 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,525 - ROSATI! 378 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:13,927 WHAT THE HELL, ROSATI? 379 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,428 THAT IS NOT THE VIDEO YOU SHOWED ME. 380 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,630 THAT BETTER NOT BE THE VIDEO THAT WENT TO COLUMBIA. 381 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,099 - AW, YOU DON'T LIKE IT? 382 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:20,733 I THOUGHT THE POINT WAS TO CAPTURE THE REAL YOU. 383 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,302 - THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ASS. 384 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,636 - HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF THE WORD "ASS," 385 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,638 YOU SUBSTITUTE "ONE OF MY OLDEST FRIENDS, 386 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,875 WHO'S ALWAYS HAD MY BACK." 387 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,376 - YOU DIDN'T SEND IT. 388 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:30,710 I KNEW YOU IT. YOU ARE TOO-- 389 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,212 - NICE? 390 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,047 HERE'S THE THING. WE'RE ALL USED TO YOU. 391 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,883 YOU EXHALE SO MUCH SNARK ON A DAILY BASIS, 392 00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:38,018 YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE WHAT'S KILLING THE BEES. 393 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,486 - I'M GETTING BORED. 394 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,522 - AT COLUMBIA, NO ONE KNOWS YOU YET. 395 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,091 YOU GET A CLEAN SLATE. 396 00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:45,959 - OH, I GET IT. 397 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,661 YOU'RE TRYING TO TEACH ME A LESSON. 398 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,796 PRECIOUS. 399 00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:50,797 REALLY, I'M TOUCHED. 400 00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,432 LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS, 401 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,201 'CAUSE MAYBE IT'LL CONVINCE ME TO CHANGE MY WAYS 402 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:56,503 AND GO OFF TO COLLEGE AS A SUPER NICE GIRL. 403 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,671 - NO, YOU'LL NEVER BE THAT, SADIE. 404 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,573 BUT MAYBE YOU'RE NOT AS BIG A BITCH 405 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,642 AS YOU WANT EVERYONE TO THINK YOU ARE. 406 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:09,716 - NO, I TOTALLY AM. 407 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:10,783 - MATTY, WAIT. 408 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:11,985 LOOK, WE MADE A MISTAKE. 409 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,120 - YEAH, I KNOW, WE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER. 410 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,421 THINGS HAVE A WAY OF COMING OUT. 411 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,056 - YOU HAVE TO COMMUNICATE WITH HER, MATTY. 412 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,057 - YEAH, I'M TRYING. 413 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,225 IT'S NOT THAT EASY. 414 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,292 - WELL, YOU'RE ABLE TO WITH ME, 415 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,627 IN YOUR OWN SORT OF WAY. 416 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,662 - YEAH, WELL, IT'S EASIER WITH YOU. 417 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:23,931 - WELL, I'M NOT THE ONE 418 00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,632 YOU'RE TRYING TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH. 419 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:28,335 LOOK, WE HAVE A HABIT OF FALLING INTO OLD PATTERNS, 420 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:30,938 AND IT KEEPS SCREWING US UP. - YEAH, I KNOW. 421 00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,505 - AND NOW THE SPRING BREAK THING. 422 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,207 - WELL, I'M NOT GOING, SO IT WON'T BE A PROBLEM. 423 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,442 - BUT YOU SHOULD GO. WE SHOULD BOTH BE ABLE TO GO. 424 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:36,743 IT'S OUR LAST SPRING BREAK. 425 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,478 - IT WOULD END MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GABBY. 426 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:40,313 - BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HER THE TRUTH. 427 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,814 WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL HER ABOUT THE LETTER 428 00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,383 AND THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO FIND YOUR REAL DAD? 429 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,152 - HEY, I TOLD YOU I'M NOT READY, OKAY? 430 00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:46,553 - TO SHARE SOMETHING WITH A GIRL 431 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,956 YOU'RE WILLING TO MISS SPRING BREAK OVER, 432 00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,324 OR TO FIND YOUR REAL DAD? 433 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,493 - BOTH. 434 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:56,563 - MATTY, IF YOU WEREN'T READY, WHY DID YOU COME TO ME? 435 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,598 - I HAVE NO CLUE. 436 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,133 I WISH I HADN'T. 437 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,203 [mellow rock music] 438 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,305 * 439 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,174 - MATTY WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO DECIPHER, 440 00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:08,841 SO WHY DID I KEEP TRYING TO HELP HIM? 441 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,978 SHOULDN'T HE HAVE BEEN GOING TO HIS GIRLFRIEND FOR THAT? 442 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,680 OH, RIGHT, HE WASN'T READY TO COMMUNICATE WITH HER YET. 443 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,982 HE HAD ME FOR THAT. 444 00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:17,684 - HEY, LET'S GO BIKINI SHOPPING FOR SPRING BREAK. 445 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:20,787 - I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GO ON SPRING BREAK ANYMORE. 446 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,189 - IS THIS ABOUT ME GOING TO COLLEGE? 447 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,556 - NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. 448 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,358 NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. 449 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,826 - HEY, I DON'T LIKE YOUR TONE. 450 00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:29,729 WHETHER I GO TO COLLEGE OR NOT, I AM STILL YOUR MOTHER. 451 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,831 - OH, I'M SORRY IF I GET CONFUSED 452 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,200 ON WHEN TO TREAT YOU LIKE A MOTHER. 453 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,667 THE WAY I SEE IT, 454 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,569 I'M THE ADULT AND YOU'RE THE WILD CHILD. 455 00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,338 HAVING TEQUILA SHOTS FOR BREAKFAST? 456 00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,373 - I HAD ONE SHOT... 457 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:41,808 AND AN ORANGE JUICE CHASER. 458 00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,643 - IT'S LIKE YOU'RE COMPETING WITH ME. 459 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,412 I MEAN, YOU HAVE A BETTER BODY THAN ME. 460 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:46,679 YOU'RE MORE FUN AT PARTIES THAN ME. 461 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:47,714 YOU DRESS BETTER. 462 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,716 - I JUST OFFERED TO TAKE YOU SHOPPING. 463 00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,584 - DO YOU KNOW HOW HUMILIATING IT IS 464 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,054 THAT YOU GOT INTO COLLEGE AND I DIDN'T. 465 00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,388 CONGRATULATIONS, MOM. 466 00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,024 YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME AT EVERYTHING! 467 00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,025 - HEY. 468 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,059 WHAT'S GOING ON? 469 00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,860 - IT'S OKAY, KEVIN. 470 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,429 JENNA'S RIGHT. 471 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,031 I AM TOO OLD FOR COLLEGE. 472 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:06,033 IT IS TOO LATE FOR ME TO START OVER. 473 00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:09,036 - MOM, WAIT. 474 00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:11,204 I DON'T WANT HER TO NOT GO BECAUSE OF ME. 475 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,372 - SHE'S GOING. 476 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,840 I ALREADY MAILED HER TUITION CHECK. 477 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,176 - WELL, CANCEL IT. SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO. 478 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,178 - YEAH, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. 479 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,147 BUT LOOK AT ALL THAT SHE DID. 480 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,548 TOOK THE S.A.T.s, 481 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:24,351 FILLED OUT APPLICATIONS, WRITE ESSAYS, 482 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:26,819 ALL KNOWING THAT SHE COULD BE REJECTED. 483 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,688 - TRUST ME, I KNOW ALL ABOUT REJECTION. 484 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:29,756 I GOT TWO. 485 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,059 - JENNA, YOU WILL GET INTO COLLEGE, 486 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,693 AND INTO THE RIGHT PLACE FOR YOU. 487 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,462 - HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE? 488 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:37,597 - BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU, 489 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:39,532 LIKE I BELIEVE IN YOUR MOM. 490 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,068 AND I KNOW HER BETTER THAN ANYONE. 491 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,502 SHE WANTS THIS. 492 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,770 SHE'S JUST SCARED. 493 00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,205 SHE NEEDS ME TO GIVE HER A LITTLE PUSH 494 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,606 TO GET OVER THE HUMP. 495 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,341 THAT'S WHAT YOU DO FOR THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. 496 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,178 - MY FATHER'S UNSCRAMBLING OF MY MOTHER'S MIXED SIGNALS 497 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,879 GOT ME THINKING ABOUT MATTY. 498 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:55,082 CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? - HMM? 499 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:58,951 - WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BE FRIENDS WITH EXES? 500 00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,253 - I DON'T KNOW. 501 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:03,323 I GUESS IT'S CONFUSING FOR GUYS. 502 00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,525 OUR HEADS ARE WIRED ONE WAY, 503 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,095 AND OUR HEARTS ARE WIRED ANOTHER, 504 00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:10,497 AND OUR-- 505 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:11,931 WE SHUT DOWN. 506 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,833 AND WE DON'T COMMUNICATE WHAT WE REALLY WANT. 507 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,568 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 508 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,305 I'VE GOT TO GO TELL YOUR MOTHER THAT SHE'S GOING TO COLLEGE 509 00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:21,608 OR SHE'S GROUNDED. 510 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,376 - SUDDENLY, IT MADE PERFECT SENSE 511 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,811 WHY MATTY HAD TURNED TO ME FOR HELP 512 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:27,114 FINDING HIS BIO DAD INSTEAD OF GABBY. 513 00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:29,116 HE WAS SCARED AND NEEDED A LITTLE PUSH 514 00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:31,718 FROM THE PERSON WHO KNEW HIM BETTER THAN ANYONE. 515 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,788 THERE WAS MORE THAN ONE FIXER IN THIS FAMILY. 516 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,428 - YOUR MOM LET ME IN. 517 00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:45,465 I FOUND YOUR BIOLOGICAL FATHER. 518 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,167 - OKAY. 519 00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:51,238 - TURNS OUT THAT EIGHT OF THE DANIELS 520 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:52,539 WERE ACTUALLY DANIELLES. 521 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,274 SO THEN I NARROWED IT DOWN BY RACE AND AGE, 522 00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,209 TOOK A GAMBLE THAT HE STILL LIVED ON THE WEST COAST 523 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,510 AND WASN'T INCARCERATED, 524 00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:01,648 AND NARROWED IT DOWN TO THREE VERY REAL POSSIBILITIES. 525 00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,150 AND THEY'RE ALL ON FACEBOOK. 526 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:06,486 SO THE FIRST ONE IS PROFESSOR DURAND. 527 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,721 Ph.D. AT OREGON. 528 00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,022 SMART GENE POOL. 529 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,925 SECOND IS DANNY D. FROM BAKERSFIELD, 530 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,694 ALTHOUGH I CAN'T REALLY PICTURE YOUR FATHER 531 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,763 HAVING A UNIBROW. 532 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,665 AND THEN THERE'S THIS GUY. 533 00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:19,966 HE OWNS A BEACH RENTALS PLACE 534 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:22,169 AND IS ALSO A PADDLE BOARD INSTRUCTOR. 535 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,304 AND GET THIS, HIS PLACE IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE BORDER. 536 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,973 IT'S, LIKE, AN HOUR FROM ALLY'S BEACH HOUSE. 537 00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,875 MAYBE YOU'RE MEANT TO GO ON SPRING BREAK. 538 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,777 MAYBE IT'S DESTINY. 539 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,579 - I DID NOT ASK YOU TO DO THIS. 540 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:33,746 - I KNOW. 541 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,183 NOW THAT YOU HAVE THE INFORMATION, 542 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:39,085 YOU CAN DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH IT WHEN YOU'RE READY. 543 00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:47,894 WHAT'S THAT? 544 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:48,895 - IT'S YOUR MOTHER'S PERSONAL STATEMENT 545 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,330 FOR HER COLLEGE APP. 546 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:52,832 - LET ME GUESS, HER DREAMS OF FIXING THE WORLD? 547 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,734 - SORT OF. 548 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,643 - "SOME PEOPLE WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE 549 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,578 "SO THEY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. 550 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,347 "I JUST WANT TO CHANGE ME. 551 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,516 "THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS I WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY 552 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,651 "IN MY LIFE IF I HAD THE CHANCE. 553 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,921 "MOST PEOPLE WOULD SAY THAT MY DAUGHTER WAS A MISTAKE. 554 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:17,324 "NO ONE ACTUALLY INTENDS TO GET PREGNANT AT 16. 555 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:19,359 "BUT THAT'S NOT THE WAY I SEE IT. 556 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,762 "MY DAUGHTER DEFINITELY ALTERED THE TRAJECTORY OF MY LIFE. 557 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,531 "I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED IT. 558 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,833 "I CONSIDERED IT A PRIVILEGE TO CARE FOR HER 559 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,034 "AND, YES, TO BE HONEST, 560 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,136 "TO OFTENTIMES GROW UP WITH HER. 561 00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:35,007 "HELL, MAYBE SHE GREW UP FASTER THAN I DID. 562 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,009 "SHE IS SO SMART AND SO MATURE 563 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,845 "THAT SOMETIMES SHE INTIMIDATES ME, 564 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,281 "BUT MORE OFTEN, SHE INSPIRES ME. 565 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,715 "MAYBE THAT'S MY REAL GOAL 566 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,284 " WHEN IN TRYING TO GET INTO COLLEGE, 567 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,453 "TO MAKE MY DAUGHTER AS PROUD OF ME 568 00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:48,255 "AS I AM OF HER, 569 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:51,524 TO LIVE UP TO BEING JENNA HAMILTON'S MOTHER." 570 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,862 - DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE OKAY WITH COL-- 571 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,665 - NO, BUT AT SOME POINT I WILL BE. 572 00:19:58,665 --> 00:19:59,832 - OKAY, GOT IT. 573 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,200 - AND I KNEW I WOULD. 574 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,703 I WAS SURPRISING MYSELF WITH MY RESILIENCE... 575 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,305 AND MY OPTIMISM. 576 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:08,074 I EVEN HAD A FEELING THINGS WERE GONNA WORK OUT WITH MATTY. 577 00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:11,511 - HEY, I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW 578 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:16,783 THAT I MADE CONTACT WITH MY BIOLOGICAL DAD. 579 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:22,455 AND I THINK I'M GONNA MEET HIM ON SPRING BREAK. 580 00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:27,494 I'M SORRY IF I'VE BEEN ACTING LIKE A REAL JERK. 581 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:30,297 THE TRUTH IS, I... 582 00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:32,632 AM A LITTLE SCARED TO MEET THIS GUY. 583 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:35,402 I'D REALLY LIKE FOR YOU TO BE THERE WITH ME. 584 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:40,172 - NEXT, ON AWKWARD... 585 00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:41,708 - WE'RE ON SPRING BREAK, PEOPLE! 586 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:42,775 - THIS IS OUR LAST SPRING BREAK TOGETHER. 587 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,110 SO LET'S REALLY MAX IT OUT. 588 00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,446 - WE BROUGHT THE BEST PARTY FAVOR EVER. 589 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:47,647 both: WE'RE BIG IN JAPAN! 590 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:49,449 - OUR VIDEO HAS LIKE 12 MILLION HITS. 591 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:52,452 - GOODBYE, PALOS HILLS. HELLO, NEW YORK CITY. 592 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,754 PRETTY SOON IT WILL ALL HAVE BEEN JUST A BAD DREAM. 593 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,055 - I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, ONCE AGAIN, 594 00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:57,924 I WAS GOING TO BE LEFT OUT IN THE COLD.