1 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,343 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,678 - THE DUDE DATABASE HAS GONE FULL-ON VIRAL. 3 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,280 - THIS IS GONNA REALLY PISS SOME PEOPLE OFF. 4 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,814 HEY, I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE COULDN'T DELETE 5 00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,849 THIS STUPID DATABASE. - NO! 6 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,052 JENNA, I DIDN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T DELETE IT! 7 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:19,120 I MEAN DON'T [bleep] DELETE IT! 8 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,322 [cell phones chime] 9 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,127 - THEY WERE CALLING IT THE GREAT REPRESSION. 10 00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,995 THERE WAS A FULL-SCALE HOOKUP DROUGHT AT PALOS HILLS HIGH, 11 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:30,964 AND THE HALLS WERE HAUNTED BY AGGRO, SEX-STARVED TEENS. 12 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,866 GUYS THOUGHT IT WAS COOL TO RANK GIRLS, 13 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,668 BUT WHEN THE HASHTAG WAS ON THE OTHER FOOT, 14 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:38,572 THEY FREAKED, MAKING FOR A VERY AWKWARD VALENTINE'S DAY. 15 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:40,508 - IT'S LIKE A DATING DUST BOWL OUT HERE. 16 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,110 IF THINGS DON'T PICK UP, I'M GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL 17 00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,411 THE VALENTINE'S DANCE. 18 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,713 - THAT'S A TAD DRAMATIC. - DRAMATIC? 19 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,482 VALENTINE'S DAY IS LIKE THE SUPER BOWL OF DRAMA, JENNA. 20 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,218 DO YOU SEE A SINGLE GIRL AROUND HERE 21 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:52,520 WITH FLOWERS OR CHOCOLATES OR HOPE? 22 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,688 THE GREAT REPRESSION HAS MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO LOVE. 23 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,258 - I WOULD THINK THE GUYS WOULD BE HAPPY TO BE OFF THE HOOK 24 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,259 FOR VALENTINE'S DAY. 25 00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,860 THEY HATE BUYING FLOWERS. 26 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:03,131 - UH, GOOGLE EARTH TO JENNA, BJs ARE LIKE FLOWERS FOR DUDES. 27 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,533 YOU RUINED THAT FOR THEM TOO. - ME? 28 00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,135 WE BOTH STARTED THE DUDE DATABASE. 29 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:09,503 - BUT ONLY ONE OF US CONTROL-ALT-OUTED HERSELF 30 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:12,140 AS THE ADMINISTRATOR. 31 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,642 - OH! WHAT ARE THOSE? 32 00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:16,210 - BLUE BALLS. 33 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:19,980 YOU GAVE THEM TO US, SO NOW WE'RE GIVING THEM BACK. 34 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,658 - THANKS FOR RUINING VALENTINE'S DAY. 35 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:33,561 - OKAY, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 36 00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,829 - I TOLD YOU NOT TO DELETE IT, AND YOU DIDN'T LISTEN. 37 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,566 I AM NOT BECOMING A PARIAH CAREY OVER THIS. 38 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:41,435 - FINE, I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO SAVE VALENTINE'S DAY BY MYSELF? 39 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,670 - LET'S FACE IT. 40 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,938 VALENTINE'S DAY IS OFF THIS YEAR. 41 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:48,476 - VALENTINE'S DAY IS SO ON THIS YEAR. 42 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,178 I WONDER WHAT WILL HAS PLANNED FOR ME. 43 00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:53,314 YOU KNOW THAT HE STARTED OUT AS MY STALKER? 44 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:56,717 AND VALENTINE'S DAY IS LIKE THE WORLD SERIES OF STALKING. 45 00:01:56,717 --> 00:02:00,188 - UM, WHY AM I HERE AGAIN? 46 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:03,591 - OH, RIGHT, DO YOU MIND EXPLAINING THIS PAPER? 47 00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:05,759 - MS. MARKS, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LEARN 48 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,261 YOUR ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE? 49 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:10,198 - WHEN I WAS 14, I FOUND OUT THAT THE WOMAN I THOUGHT 50 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:12,466 WAS MY SISTER WAS ACTUALLY MY MOM. 51 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,034 IS THAT THE KIND OF THING YOU MEAN? 52 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,204 - THEN YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IT MAKES YOU QUESTION EVERYTHING 53 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,372 YOU ONCE TOOK AS THE FOR-SURE TRUTH! 54 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,740 - I GUESS. 55 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,542 - EVER SINCE MY DAD WAS SENT TO GAY REHAB 56 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,777 AND MY MOTHER SENT MY BROTHER-- 57 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,979 NO, MY BOYFRIEND-- 58 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,282 MY BROTHER TO LIVE WITH ANOTHER FAMILY, 59 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:31,285 I'M FINDING IT HARD TO TRUST GOD'S PLAN. 60 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,921 SO I'M WRITING ABOUT MY JOURNEY. 61 00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:35,823 - OKAY, IT'S JUST THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WRITE 62 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,090 ABOUT THE NEW DEAL. 63 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,360 - THE NEW DEAL WAS A REAL LIFESAVER. 64 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,629 IT GOT PEOPLE BACK TO WORK, 65 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:44,665 INFUSED ENERGY INTO OUR ECONOMY, 66 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:48,336 AND PRETTY MUCH ENDED THE GREAT DEPRESSION. 67 00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,403 - THAT WAS IT. 68 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,104 I NEEDED A NEW DEAL TO GET US 69 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:54,242 OUT OF THIS GREAT REPRESSION, AND I HAD AN IDEA. 70 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,643 [school bell rings] 71 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,711 I NEED THE BEST ONE YOU'VE GOT. 72 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:58,946 WAIT, HOW MUCH? 73 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,649 OKAY, WHAT CAN I GET FOR 200 BUCKS? 74 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,251 GREAT, THANK YOU. 75 00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:06,354 - WHAT ARE YOU FINALLY BLOWING YOUR BABYSITTING MONEY ON? 76 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:10,090 BECAUSE IF IT'S CLOTHES, I HAVE SOME CONSTRUCTIVE SUGGESTIONS. 77 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,792 - NOT CLOTHES, A PARTY BUS. 78 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,562 IT'S MY NEW DEAL, AND IT IS GONNA END THE HOOKUP DROUGHT. 79 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,797 - HEY, JENNA, I HEARD ABOUT THE HURT LOCKER 80 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,532 FULL OF BLUE BALLS, YEESH. 81 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,734 DON'T SWEAT IT--IT'LL ALL BLOW OVER IN, LIKE, 12 MONTHS 82 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,271 WHEN WE'RE ALL IN COLLEGE AND SPREAD OUT ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. 83 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,572 - TRY 24 HOURS. 84 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:27,608 I RENTED US A PARTY BUS FOR THE DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT, 85 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,176 AND YOU BOTH BETTER BE ON IT. 86 00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:31,845 - HOW IS A PARTY BUS GOING TO SEXIFY THE STUDENT BODY? 87 00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,447 - DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN THE JULIES GOT 88 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,416 THAT DOUBLE-DECKER FOR THEIR SWEET 16? 89 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,617 - OH, I REMEMBER. 90 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,185 - I WAS PRACTICALLY THE ONLY ONE 91 00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:39,987 THAT DIDN'T LOSE THEIR VEHICULAR VIRGINITY THAT NIGHT. 92 00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:43,190 - EXACTLY. ON A PARTY BUS, THERE ARE NO PARENTS, 93 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,125 THE DRIVER LOOKS THE OTHER WAY, AND THERE ARE PLENTY 94 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,328 OF NASTY NOOKS AND CRANNIES TO GET YOUR FREAK ON. 95 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:50,964 - WELL, JENNA, IT'S A LOT TO ASK, BUT IF IT HELPS THE CAUSE, 96 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,766 I'M ON BOARD WITH YOUR PARTY BUS. 97 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:53,901 - AT LEAST ONE GUY WASN'T HOLDING 98 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,436 THE HOOKUP DROUGHT AGAINST ME. 99 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,638 ACTUALLY, HE WAS HOLDING HIMSELF AGAINST ME, 100 00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,540 AND IT FELT PRETTY GREAT. 101 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:04,778 - SO, WILLY-YUM, SATURDAY NIGHT, WHAT'S THE PLAN? 102 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,046 A LITTLE ROLE PLAY? 103 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:09,983 A LITTLE, UH, CHAPS AND CHAPSTICK? 104 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,553 - SATURDAY, SATURDAY, UH... 105 00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:16,023 OH, I'M ACTUALLY HEADED OUT OF TOWN FOR A DIVE THIS WEEKEND. 106 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:20,961 - WELL, DO YOU HAVE A VAL-ID REASON 107 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:24,998 FOR YOUR TIME AWAY? 108 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:29,403 - YEAH, I JUST NEED A LITTLE R&R. 109 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:33,741 - DO YOU WANT TO MAYBE REE-VAL-UATE THE SITUATION 110 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,008 BEFORE YOU LEAVE? 111 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:38,812 - NO, I'M GOOD. 112 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,349 SEE YA. 113 00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:44,885 - ALL RIGHT. BOOZE, CHECK. 114 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,087 TEQUILA FOR THE TEASES. RUM TO HAVE FUN. 115 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,423 BEER FOR NO FEAR. AND VODKA... 116 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,525 DOESN'T RHYME WITH ANYTHING. UGH. 117 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:54,428 I SHOULD'VE GOTTEN WHISKEY. WHISKEY MAKES YOU FRISKY. 118 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,564 THAT'S A GOOD ONE. - THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 119 00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:59,833 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DITCHING ME TO GO SERVE SAUSAGES 120 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,535 TO SAD SINGLES. 121 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,504 - LONELY PEOPLE STUFF THEIR FACES ON VALENTINE'S DAY. 122 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,172 IT'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST NIGHTS OF THE YEAR FOR THE TRUCK. 123 00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,040 I CAN'T AFFORD TO TAKE OFF WHENEVER I WANT. 124 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,642 - AND I CAN'T AFFORD YOUR LAME EXCUSES. 125 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,243 SEE YA. 126 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,846 - THE ONLY HEART YOU GIVE ME TODAY, SADITA, IS HEARTBURN. 127 00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:15,683 - I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A CHALUPA. 128 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,288 - LOOKS LIKE WE'RE EACH OTHER'S VALENTINES. GIRLS' NIGHT! 129 00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:23,624 - EW, THE ONLY WOMEN WHO ARE HAPPY ABOUT A GIRLS' NIGHT 130 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:27,127 ON VALENTINE'S DAY ARE SINGLE, 30-YEAR-OLD SEX-AND-THE-SADS. 131 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,529 - I'M NOT SAD. 132 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:31,899 I'M JUST NOT SURE IF GOD EXISTS OR NOT. 133 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:35,002 - WHEN'S THE PANTY DROPPER SUPPOSED TO ARRIVE? 134 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,937 I MEANT THE PARTY BUS. 135 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:39,239 - MATTY WAS DEFINITELY DOING HIS PART TO GET GIRLS 136 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,774 FEELING ROMANTIC AGAIN. 137 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:43,210 IF ALL THE GUYS LOOKED AS GOOD AS HE DID TONIGHT, 138 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:47,548 I WAS SURE TO SUCCEED WITH MY PLAN TO BRING SEXY BACK. 139 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,751 UNFORTUNATELY, MATTY'S PLAN WAS TO BRING GABBY. 140 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,185 - HEY, GREAT TURNOUT. 141 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,821 - YEAH, GREAT. 142 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:56,123 - THANKS FOR ORGANIZING THIS. 143 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,093 - WHY WOULD HE BRING HER? IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY. 144 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,963 HE SAID IT WAS NOTHING SERIOUS. - A PARTY BUS ISN'T SERIOUS. 145 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,332 I THOUGHT YOUR AGENDA WAS TO GET PEOPLE TOGETHER TONIGHT. 146 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,935 - IT IS. IT'S JUST A LITTLE... 147 00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,837 WEIRDER WITH SOME PEOPLE. 148 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,539 - I GET IT, BUT DON'T SPIN. 149 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,507 WE HAVE A DJ FOR THAT. FOCUS. 150 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,443 TONIGHT'S ABOUT ENDING THE DROUGHT AND NOT OBSESSING 151 00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,645 OVER EX-BOYFRIENDS. 152 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:21,281 - HELLO, LADIES. - WHOA, BACK TO THE FUTURE MUCH? 153 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:24,117 - YEAH, WELL, I REALIZED THE NO-EFFORT LOOK HAD BECOME 154 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:27,087 TOO MUCH EFFORT FOR ME. 155 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,490 - OKAY, DID JAKE HIRE A SWAG COACH? 156 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,626 - HEY, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? NO OBSESSING OVER EXES. 157 00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:33,627 [horn honking] 158 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:34,762 IS THAT-- 159 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,464 [all groan] 160 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:42,269 - IT'S NOT A PARTY BUS. THAT'S A STRIPPER'S METH LAB. 161 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:45,272 - IT'S A DREAM. - NICE WORK, HAMILTRASH. 162 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,178 - 'SUP? GONNA NEED TO SEE THOSE BENJAMINS UP FRONT, BRAH. 163 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,980 - THIS BUS WAS THE OPPOSITE OF SEXY, 164 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,548 AND DID HE JUST SAY "BENJAMINS"? 165 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,250 BUT DID FDR GIVE UP WHEN HE GOT POLIO? 166 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,086 NO. - LET'S GO. 167 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:02,523 - ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LET'S GET THIS PARTY MOBILE. 168 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:06,359 SOME BOOZE AND SOME BLING. 169 00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:10,498 - DID SOMETHING DIE IN HERE? 170 00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:12,800 - SOMEONE, BUT THAT WAS, LIKE, WEEKS AGO. 171 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,035 DON'T WORRY. I FEBREZED. 172 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,504 - COME ON, GUYS. 173 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,972 IT'S NOT THAT BAD. 174 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,374 LOOK, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 175 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:24,044 HOLLA, PARTY PEOPLE. 176 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,846 [all gasp] 177 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,417 - SO FAR, MY PARTY BUS WAS MORE LIKE A FUNERAL PROCESSION. 178 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:32,285 NO ONE SEEMED TO WANT TO BE THERE, 179 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,987 EXCEPT FOR MATTY AND GABBY. 180 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,523 I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. 181 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:39,326 ALL RIGHT, TIME FOR A LITTLE "NEVER HAVE I EVER." 182 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:42,029 - CAN'T HAVE ANY OPEN CONTAINERS WHILE I'M DRIVING. 183 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,363 - ARE YOU SERIOUS? 184 00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,065 - WHAT HAPPENED TO LOOKING THE OTHER WAY? 185 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,868 - ABOUT SIX DUIs. 186 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:52,005 - ALL RIGHT, WE'LL JUST PLAY WITH WARM WATER. 187 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,611 ALL RIGHT, WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST? 188 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,548 ANYONE? 189 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:02,082 - I'LL GO. 190 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:05,719 NEVER HAVE I EVER RIDDEN IN SOMETHING SO SICK AND REVOLTING. 191 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,855 - OR ON SOMETHING. - HA. 192 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,292 - MY TURN, NEVER HAVE I EVER RIDDEN 193 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,928 IN A MOBILE LEPROSY TRIAGE UNIT. 194 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,698 - I'LL GO. 195 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:21,101 NEVER HAVE I EVER GOTTEN IT ON WITH A MILF. 196 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:24,572 - DUDE. - DRINK UP, BRO. 197 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,206 all: OHH. 198 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,641 - DIRTY. 199 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,142 - OKAY, I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE IN THE ARMY, 200 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:32,580 BECAUSE MAJOR SHENANIGANS JUST REPORTED FOR DUTY. 201 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:33,714 WHO ROBBED YOUR CRADLE, ROSATI? 202 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,182 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 203 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,017 - OKAY, WELL, IF WE'RE NOT GONNA BE TRUTHFUL 204 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,619 IN "NEVER HAVE I EVER," THEN WE SHOULD PLAY A DIFFERENT GAME. 205 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:41,589 - TAMARA, BELIEVE ME. IT'S THE TRUTH. 206 00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:43,456 - ALL RIGHT, MY TURN. 207 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,593 NEVER HAVE I EVER 208 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:49,630 SCORED TRIPLE DIGITS IN MINI GOLF. 209 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:52,199 YOU'RE A STRAIGHT-UP LIAR, MCKIBBEN. DRINK. 210 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,602 - TONIGHT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT EVERYONE HOOKING UP. 211 00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:58,005 NOT EVERYONE WATCHING MATTY AND GABBY VDTR. 212 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,207 VALENTINE'S DAY THE RELATIONSHIP. 213 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,409 I HAD TO DO SOMETHING, RIGHT? 214 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,878 ALL RIGHT, MY TURN. 215 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:08,682 NEVER HAVE I EVER TAKEN SOMEONE'S VIRGINITY. 216 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:14,688 MATTY? - RIGHT, THANK YOU. 217 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,724 - UH, CHUG-A-LUG, J. 218 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,291 - TAMARA WAS RIGHT. 219 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,861 MY RECENT SWIPE OF OWEN'S V-CARD MEANT MATTY AND I WERE 220 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,162 SUDDENLY DRINKING BUDDIES. 221 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,897 - WAIT, YOU TOOK SOMEONE'S VIRGINITY? 222 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,200 - YEAH, YEAH--I MEAN, YES. - WHOSE? 223 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,770 - CAN WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT? PLEASE? 224 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,304 - SO LUKE WAS A VIRGIN IN COLLEGE? 225 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,372 - [chuckles] LOSER. 226 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:33,641 - WHO SAID IT WAS LUKE? 227 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:34,642 [brakes screeching, horn honking] 228 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:36,543 OH! JEEZ! 229 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,013 - YO. - YO. 230 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,649 - WE HITTING THIS VD FEST OR WHAT? 231 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:44,251 - UGH, I DON'T CARE. - WHY'D YOU ASK ME TO CHAPERONE? 232 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,086 I COULD BE PASSED OUT IN MY TANNING BED RIGHT NOW. 233 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,520 - WILL FORGOT ABOUT VALENTINE'S DAY. 234 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,856 IT'S SO SAD. 235 00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:50,157 IT'S LIKE ONCE YOU LET THE STALKER IN, 236 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:51,524 ALL THE ROMANCE DIES. 237 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:54,194 - I FIND THE BEST VALENTINE'S DATES ARE TITO AND JACK. 238 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,863 - TITO PUENTE AND JACK NICHOLSON? 239 00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:58,065 - VODKA AND DANIELS. 240 00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,934 WANTED TO BE DISCREET BECAUSE OF THE KIDDOS. 241 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,870 ESPECIALLY SINCE PRINCIPAL COCKBLOCK 242 00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:05,072 CONFISCATED MY FLASK LAST TIME AROUND. 243 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,774 - YEAH, I CAN'T. I'M STILL ON THE CLOCK. 244 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,508 - COME ON. TAKE A PULL OFF MY RACK. 245 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,110 - JUST PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH. 246 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:13,046 - OKAY, BUT I WASN'T BREAST-FED, SO THIS IS ALL NEW TO ME. 247 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,948 - ALL RIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME, 248 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,549 BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE. 249 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,953 - THANK GOD. 250 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,421 - [gasps] FIVE-SECOND RULE! 251 00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:24,658 OOH, I LOVE CANDY HEARTS. WHO'S MOLLY? 252 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:28,095 - OH, A HOTEL KEY. MY PLAN IS WORKING. 253 00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:31,699 SOMEONE IS ENDING THEIR HOOKUP DRAUGHT TONIGHT. 254 00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:34,101 WHAT LUCKY GUY DOES THIS BELONG TO? 255 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,303 - UH, ME. 256 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,709 - CAN I TALK TO YOU OUTSIDE? 257 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,643 - A HOTEL ROOM ON VALENTINE'S DAY? 258 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,978 MATTY'S USUAL BONE-US OPERANDI 259 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,680 WAS MORE LIKE THE BACKSEAT OF HIS TRUCK. 260 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,515 WAS HE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT GABBY? 261 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:52,019 - LET'S GO. WE'RE GONNA MISS THE DANCE. 262 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:54,822 - DUDE, WHERE ARE OUR PARTY FAVORS? 263 00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:59,126 - WEIRD, THAT DIDN'T TASTE LIKE CANDY. 264 00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:02,429 - OH, MAN, THE VESTAL VIRGIN JUST SNARFED A MOLLY. 265 00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:03,463 WHAT A [bleep] WASTE. 266 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,598 - OR A FANTASTIC EXPERIMENT. 267 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:08,068 SHE MUST HAVE BEEN HUNGRY FOR SOMETHING TO BE SCAVENGING 268 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,803 ON THE GROUND LIKE A FAMISHED BEAST. 269 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,972 both: HUNGRY! 270 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,573 - GO, GO, GO. - GET IN THERE. 271 00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:16,476 - GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! - GET IN THERE, GET IN THERE. 272 00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,746 - GO, GO, GO! - WHOO! 273 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:21,214 HOLY JEEZ, IS THAT THE TIME? 274 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:24,584 I GOT SO SUCKED IN BY YOUR BOOZE BOOBS, I MADE US LATE. 275 00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:27,587 [mellow alternative music] 276 00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:28,922 * 277 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,091 - WE NEED TO LUBRICATE THIS PRUDE PARTY. 278 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,826 - THAT'S IT, THE BOOZE ON THE BUS. 279 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,361 WE NEED TO LIVEN THIS PLACE UP. 280 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,496 - I'LL SPREAD THE WORD. NO ONE TURNS DOWN A FREE DRINK. 281 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:39,666 WE HAVE ENOUGH JUICE TO TURN THIS DUST BOWL INTO A MUD PIE. 282 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,934 [clatter] 283 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,936 - COME ON. - WHAT'S THE HOLDUP? 284 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,537 WE WERE PROMISED SHOTS. 285 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:48,241 - WELL, MR. PROMISES MALIBU HERE KILLED THAT DREAM FOR US. 286 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,310 WE'RE AS DRY AS A DOROTHEA LANGE DESERT-SCAPE. 287 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,813 - SORRY! - YEAH, YOU ARE SORRY. 288 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,147 - WOW, HAMILTON. 289 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,983 YOU JUST KEEP FINDING NEW WAYS TO SUCK. 290 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,985 - YEAH! - OUCH. 291 00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,386 - LOSER. - I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 292 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,288 - THE WHOLE SCHOOL WANTS TO KILL ME, 293 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,856 AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS "OUCH"? 294 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,592 - IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOUR PARTY BUS WAS A PARTY BUST. 295 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,061 - NO, BUT IT IS YOUR FAULT THAT THE RANKINGS WENT VIRAL, 296 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,263 YET I CONTINUE TO TAKE ALL THE HITS. 297 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:15,135 - YOU GUYS FEEL LIKE VELVET. 298 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:18,071 IS THAT A GAY THING? both: YES. 299 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,440 - IF MY DAD IS GAY, 300 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,209 DOES THAT MEAN THAT I COULD BE GAY? 301 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:25,278 LIKE, AM I CARRYING GAY GENES? 302 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,447 - YOU MIGHT BE, IF YOU'RE LUCKY. 303 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,983 I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER HAD STRONG FEELINGS FOR ANOTHER WOMAN? 304 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:33,353 - WELL, I LOVE MY MOM 305 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,422 AND MY KINDERGARTEN TEACHER 306 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,556 AND SADIE! 307 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,626 - SADIE--GOOD CHOICE. 308 00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:42,029 HER HOTNESS LEVEL HAS REALLY PEAKED THIS YEAR. 309 00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,596 - YEAH, AND SHE'S RIPE FOR THE PICKING. 310 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,433 - YOU THINK WE FEEL GOOD? YOU SHOULD TRY SADIE. 311 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,702 I BET SHE SMELLS LIKE BUBBLE GUM, SHAMPOO, AND PUPPIES! 312 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,872 - I LOVE PUPPIES! 313 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:55,508 - GO OVER AND SEE. 314 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,911 - I HADN'T SAVED VALENTINE'S DAY. 315 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,746 I'D RUINED IT FOR EVERYONE. 316 00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,381 - I SWEAR TO GOD, 317 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:04,852 IF I DON'T GET LAID TONIGHT, I WILL LAY YOU OUT. 318 00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:07,387 - THE GREAT REPRESSION WAS TURNING INTO WORLD WAR III, 319 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,056 AND I WAS THE COMMON ENEMY. 320 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,491 WTFWFDRD? 321 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,327 WHAT THE [bleep] WOULD FDR DO? 322 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:17,865 [microphone feedback] all: AWW. 323 00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,366 - ATTENTION, EVERYONE, 324 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:22,502 I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT STUPID RANKING SYSTEM, 325 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,737 BUT YOU SHOULDN'T LET IT RUIN THE DANCE. 326 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,940 - NO, YOU DID THAT FOR US. 327 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,175 all: BOO! 328 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,210 - IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY: 329 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,947 A TIME FOR ROMANCE, A TIME FOR PASSION, 330 00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:36,616 A TIME FOR PINK... - [yawns] 331 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:40,553 - AND SLIGHTLY DARKER PINK HEARTS... 332 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,523 - WHY DON'T YOU HELP HER, MILF SLAYER? 333 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:46,759 AREN'T YOU AN EXPERT ON ROMANCE AND PASSION NOW? 334 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,095 - WHY DON'T YOU? 335 00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:49,362 I THOUGHT YOU WERE HER BEST FRIEND. 336 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,599 - A TIME FOR CUDDLING, 337 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:56,803 BEING THE LITTLE SPOON, A TIME-- - YOU SUCK. 338 00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:59,639 - A TIME TO QUIT BEING HARASSHOLES TO JENNA. 339 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:02,375 SHE DIDN'T ACT ALONE IN MAKING THE DUDE DATABASE. 340 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,311 I WAS HER ACCOMPLICE. all: AWW. 341 00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:07,747 - AND, UNLIKE HER, I WAS TOO SCARED TO TAKE THE BLAME 342 00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:08,982 UNTIL NOW. 343 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,451 JENNA HAS DONE EVERYTHING SHE CAN TO MAKE IT UP 344 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,320 TO YOU GUYS TONIGHT, AND I WILL NOT LET 345 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,588 MY LITTLE CUPID LOOK STUPID. NOW, LISTEN UP. 346 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:18,325 - I KNOW SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE AFRAID 347 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:21,929 TO LET LOOSE FOR FEAR OF BEING RANKED OR CODED, 348 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:25,933 BUT WHO COULD EVER JUDGE YOU FOR EXPRESSING WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART? 349 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,335 - OR AT THE VERY LEAST, WHAT'S IN YOUR PANTS. 350 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:30,070 [laughter] - SO COME ON, GET CRAZY, 351 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:34,407 BECAUSE THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF. 352 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,150 - WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? 353 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:46,686 - PUPPIES. 354 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,355 [all gasp] 355 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:52,492 - SHE'S COME UNDONE, BITCHES! 356 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,494 - AND JUST LIKE THAT, THE DAM HAD BURST, 357 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:57,530 AND THE DROUGHT WAS OVER. 358 00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,432 - WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU? 359 00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:03,503 - OBJECTIVE REASON AND SOME ILLEGAL DRUGS, I THINK. 360 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:06,073 CAN I SMELL YOUR HAIR? IT'S SO SHINY. 361 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,074 - UGH! 362 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,808 - GOD ISN'T DEAD. 363 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,644 HE'S EVERYWHERE. 364 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:16,583 THIS GOD TASTES LIKE GRAPE GUM AND ORANGE SODA. 365 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,850 - OUR FINEST WORK. 366 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,453 - THAT WAS AMAZING. THANK YOU. 367 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:23,991 - NO, THANK YOU FOR NOT DEFRIENDING ME THIS WEEK. 368 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,459 I SHOULD'VE VOLUNTEERED AS TRIBUTE DAYS AGO, 369 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:29,462 BUT I WAS TOO CHICKEN. 370 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,499 BE MINE? - ALWAYS WAS. 371 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,535 [laughter] 372 00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,870 - OH, MY GOD. - OH, YEAH, WE'RE TOO LATE. 373 00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,440 THIS IS LIKE SODOM AND GOMORRAH. 374 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:44,211 - OH, RELAX. 375 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,778 - CATCH YOU LATER. 376 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,114 NICE SPEECH. - THANKS. 377 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:49,349 BUT YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE UP THE GOODS. 378 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,018 WHO'S THE MYSTERY MILF? 379 00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:53,153 - THERE'S NO MYSTERY. 380 00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:57,157 I MET HER ON NEW YEAR'S, AND WE'VE BEEN HAVING A GREAT TIME. 381 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,092 MULTIPLE GREAT TIMES. 382 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,593 THREE IN A ROW, IN FACT. 383 00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:03,563 - OH, PLEASE. I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT. 384 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:07,100 - YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY. - GAME ON, ROSATI. 385 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,936 BUT YOU ONLY HAVE ONE CHANCE TO TAKE ME TO O-TOWN, 386 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,705 SO LET'S DO THIS. - COME ON. 387 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,774 - WATCHING ALL THE HOOKUPS, I COULDN'T HELP BUT FEEL 388 00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,243 A SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT. 389 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:19,046 JUST LIKE FDR, I HAD HELPED USHER IN A NEW DEAL, 390 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,680 AND WITH ALL THE LOVE IN THE AIR, 391 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,383 THE DIRTY LOOK MATTY WAS GIVING ME STOOD OUT EVEN MORE. 392 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,584 - WHAT'S YOUR DEAL? 393 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,486 THAT WHOLE THING BACK THERE ABOUT ME 394 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,321 TAKING YOUR VIRGINITY IN "NEVER HAVE I EVER"? 395 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,757 - I WAS JUST PLAYING THE GAME. - IN FRONT OF GABBY. 396 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,425 THAT'S KIND OF AGGRO, DON'T YOU THINK? 397 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,594 AND WHOSE VIRGINITY DID YOU TAKE? 398 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,796 - YOU DON'T KNOW HIM. 399 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,465 DON'T YOU HAVE A HOTEL ROOM TO GET BACK TO? 400 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,433 - I GAVE IT TO A NEEDY PARTY. 401 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,968 NO ROOM FOR ME TONIGHT. 402 00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:45,605 THANKS TO YOUR GAMES, GABBY LEFT. 403 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:49,476 - NOPE, NOPE, 404 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:52,912 NO WAY. 405 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:55,482 - OH, I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES KEVIN AND I GOT 406 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,085 KICKED OUT OF DANCES FOR HEAVY PETTING. 407 00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:58,985 - HEAVY PETTING? 408 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,254 - WELL, HE TRIED TO GO DOWN ON ME. 409 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,756 - SO GODDAMN ROMANTIC. 410 00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,726 - YOU CAN'T SMOKE IN HERE. 411 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,631 ACTUALLY... 412 00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:13,566 YOU KNOW, ONE PUFF WOULDN'T KILL YOU. 413 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:16,869 WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAND RIGHT HERE? 414 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,106 YEAH. 415 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,311 SO WHERE'S YOUR FRIEND? 416 00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,113 YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS COMING INTO MY OFFICE 417 00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,315 TO SIGN IN, SO WE DON'T THINK HE'S A SEX OFFENDER? 418 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,850 - SERGIO HAD OTHER PLANS. 419 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,286 - HEY, WE'RE IN THE SAME BOAT, SISTER. 420 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:37,990 HERE'S TO ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ON VALENTINE'S DAY. 421 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,826 - SADITA! 422 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,928 - SORRY, VAL, CAN'T JOIN YOU 423 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:44,697 IN YOUR SPINSTER SUICIDE PACT JUST YET. 424 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:45,965 - I CLOSED UP EARLY. 425 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,400 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING. 426 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,604 YOU'RE MY VALENTINE, NOT THOSE SAD SINGLES. 427 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,041 - [sighs] WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL. 428 00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:57,610 I AM THE BIGGEST LOSER HERE. 429 00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,747 - I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. 430 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,550 - WILL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 431 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,152 I THOUGHT YOU WERE OUT OF TOWN. 432 00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:07,520 - PLEASE, I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL 433 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,788 FOR VALENTINE'S DAY, 434 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:12,159 SO I DECIDED I'D KICK IT OLD SCHOOL. 435 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:13,826 I'VE BEEN STALKING YOUR ASS ALL NIGHT. 436 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:17,964 - THAT IS SO ROMANTIC. 437 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,770 - SWEET. - MM-HMM. 438 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:24,904 [creaking] - HOW'S THAT? 439 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,806 - IT'S--IT'S FINE. 440 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,775 - AND THAT? - IT'S OKAY. 441 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,243 - HOW'S THAT? 442 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:33,180 - [gasps] THAT'S GOOD. 443 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,681 - AND THAT? - YES. 444 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:37,450 - AND THAT? - YEAH. 445 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,086 OH, YEAH! 446 00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,221 [all gasp] 447 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,856 [all cheering] 448 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,703 - IT LOOKED LIKE I HAD ENDED THE DROUGHT FOR EVERYONE. 449 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,838 WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE. 450 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,776 - NOW THAT THE GREAT REPRESSION WAS FINALLY OVER, 451 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,478 PEOPLE WERE TREATING ME THE WAY THEY NORMALLY DID. 452 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,215 - THANKS FOR HIRING THAT SHARTY BUS, HAMILTUNA. 453 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,983 LISSA WAS CAUGHT ON THE MOLLY THAT SHE ATE OFF THE FLOOR 454 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,852 OF THAT BEATER AND SUSPENDED FOR TWO WEEKS. 455 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:16,223 NOW YOU CAN ADD "LIFE RUINER" TO YOUR LIST OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS, 456 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:19,592 RIGHT UNDER "SUICIDE GIRL" AND "MOODY SLUT." 457 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,894 - LIKE I SAID, PEOPLE WERE TREATING ME THE WAY 458 00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,096 THEY NORMALLY DID. 459 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:27,300 - HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN JAKE? - WHAT? 460 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,501 I THOUGHT YOU SAID WHAT HAPPENED AT THE DANCE 461 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,802 WAS A ONE-TIME THING. 462 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,704 - OH, THE REMIX TO "TAMARA NEVER COMES" 463 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:35,074 WAS DEFINITELY A SINGLE BUT CERTAINLY A CHART TOPPER. 464 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,810 OH, THERE HE IS. 465 00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,111 - CAN WE NOT? 466 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:40,112 MATTY'S MAD AT ME. 467 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,748 - UH, CAN YOU BLAME HIM? 468 00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:44,651 BRINGING UP YOUR SOPHOMORIC SEXNANIGANS IN FRONT OF GABBY 469 00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:45,652 WAS NOT YOUR BEST MOMENT. 470 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,119 - TAMARA WAS RIGHT. 471 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,556 I HAD TOLD MYSELF I WAS GIVING EVERYONE A NEW DEAL, 472 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:52,525 BUT WHAT I'D GIVEN MATTY WAS MORE LIKE A RAW DEAL. 473 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,895 HEY, I JUST WANT TO SAY I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED 474 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,364 ON THE BUS. 475 00:19:57,364 --> 00:20:00,500 NEVER HAVE I EVER ACTED LIKE SUCH AN IMMATURE IDIOT. 476 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:04,136 - ACTUALLY, THE STRIPPER POLE FAIL ALMOST MAKES UP FOR IT. 477 00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:05,638 NO, I'M SORRY TOO. 478 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,408 I WAS PRETTY DICKISH ABOUT IT, BUT I WAS JUST MAD. 479 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:09,709 - IS GABBY MAD? 480 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,512 - NO, NO, SHE JUST WANTS TO TAKE THINGS A LITTLE SLOW. 481 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:15,748 - WELL, NOT EVERYONE CAN MOVE AS FAST AS I CAN. 482 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,584 - YEAH, I DON'T THINK WE'LL BE HITTING THAT GEAR 483 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:18,585 FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 484 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:19,986 - SO SHE IS MAD? 485 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,121 - NO, SHE'S A VIRGIN. 486 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:30,630 WHICH I RESPECT, AND SOME THINGS ARE JUST WORTH WAITING FOR. 487 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,632 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 488 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:35,234 - MATTY, OVER HERE. 489 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,803 - I DID KNOW WHAT HE MEANT. 490 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,372 GABBY WAS WORTH WAITING FOR, 491 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,508 AND I HADN'T BEEN. 492 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,313 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 493 00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,548 - AW, A CUPCAKE! LAKER TICKETS, HOLY [bleep]. 494 00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,916 - I'M THROWING A LITTLE SURPRISE PARTY 495 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,484 FOR MATTY LATER-- YOU SHOULD COME. 496 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:54,287 - GABBY WAS A FIERCE COMPETITOR, BUT I COULD BE TOO. 497 00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,756 I WAS GONNA BE SO [bleep] FRIENDLY, IT HURT. 498 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,090 MY PLANS TONIGHT GOT CANCELED, 499 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,792 AND I CAN DEFINITELY COME TO THE PARTY. 500 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,328 - SURPRISE! 501 00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,330 THAT LOOKS LIKE... both: TAMARA AND SADIE!