1 00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:03,971 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,439 MATTY, THIS IS MY FRIEND BAILEY. 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,608 - THANK YOU FOR COMING. - SO ARE WE OKAY? 4 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,009 - YEAH. - HUNTER, HUH? 5 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,078 - SHE GOT REALLY DRUNK AND THREW UP ON HERSELF. 6 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:11,412 - THAT'S A BUMMER. 7 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,780 - I'D RATHER HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE INSTEAD. 8 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:14,415 - DURING MY SANITY SABBATICAL, 9 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:15,649 I WROTE A MEAN ESSAY ABOUT VAL. 10 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,351 - IT'S MS. MARKS. I'VE BEEN FIRED. 11 00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,021 [cell phone beeps] 12 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,091 - AFTER MY RECENT WALK ON THE WILD SIDE, 13 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:25,659 I HAD COURSE-CORRECTED AND WAS DETERMINED 14 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:28,028 TO STAY ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW. 15 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,198 BUT I HAD TO ADMIT, HANGING OUTSIDE 16 00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:33,101 A LOW-RENT LIQUOR STORE IN A SKETCH PART OF TOWN 17 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,836 GAVE ME A CRAZY ADRENALINE RUSH. 18 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,905 OKAY, MR. HUTCHERSON. 19 00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,607 DATE OF BIRTH. - 1985. 20 00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:40,908 - '89. ADDRESS. 21 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:44,578 - 1266...KENILWORTH AVENUE. 22 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:45,679 both: LANE. 23 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,149 - OKAY, LET'S GIVE HIM AN EASY ONE. 24 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,884 UM, MR. HUTCHERSON, WHERE WAS THIS LICENSE ISSUED? 25 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,454 - AT THE DMV. [laughter] 26 00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,223 - STATE, SMARTASS. - MONTANA. 27 00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:56,590 - CALIFORNIA. 28 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,859 - DUDE, YOU HAVE, LIKE, FIVE THINGS TO REMEMBER. 29 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,028 - I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE GONNA HAVE A FRICKIN' QUIZ. 30 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,496 - OKAY, WELL, WE ARE REALLY ABOUT TO ENJOY 31 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:03,864 THAT CASE OF SODA YOU'RE ABOUT TO BUY. 32 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:06,134 - WATCH THIS. 33 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,201 - NO, WE CAN'T GO IN YET. - NO, NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 34 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,869 - YOU NEED TO HAVE THIS DOWN. - I DO. 35 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,204 - YOU DON'T. 36 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:11,505 WITH A NAME LIKE VAN HUTCHERSON, 37 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,307 YOU ARE ASKING TO GET BUSTED. 38 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,376 THIS IS THE WORST FAKE I.D. EVER. 39 00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,645 - OH, BUT THE LETTERMAN'S JACKET WAS A NICE TOUCH. 40 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,880 [laughs] 41 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,883 - [bleep]. I FORGOT TO TAKE IT OFF. 42 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:25,153 - WHY DON'T WE JUST GET THAT GUY TO BUY US BEER? 43 00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:26,954 - [gags] [vomits] 44 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:29,457 [coughs] - OH. 45 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:32,460 [upbeat Latin music] 46 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:35,629 [man singing in Spanish] 47 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,665 - I THINK WE SHOULD JUST BAIL. - IT'S FINE. 48 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,333 NOBODY EVER GETS CARDED HERE. 49 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,469 NUSSBAUM EMPLOYEES ARE MOSTLY CARNIES OR EX-CONS 50 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:44,071 WHO EITHER CAN'T READ OR DON'T CARE. 51 00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:47,875 - CAN I HELP YOU? 52 00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,279 - I WAS JUST USING THIS AS A WEIGHT. 53 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:54,482 - YEAH, YEAH. YOU'VE HEARD OF BEER-LATES? 54 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,186 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 55 00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:01,289 - JUST PULLING A PAYCHECK, EATING MY FEELINGS, 56 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:02,390 WATCHING MY DREAMS DIE, 57 00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,758 OH, GETTING A 45% OFF DISCOUNT 58 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,327 ON EXPIRED BOOZE, WHICH HELPS ME 59 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,196 ON MY QUEST TO DRINK MY YOUTH AWAY, 60 00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:10,798 WHICH I AM ALSO DOING. 61 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,433 - VAL, I AM SO SORRY. 62 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:13,934 I WISH I'D NEVER WRITTEN THAT ESSAY. 63 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,636 IF I COULD TAKE IT BACK, I WOULD. 64 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,472 IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU? 65 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,441 - I MAY BE IMMUNE TO YOUR BULLETS, 66 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,376 JENNA-DICT ARNOLD, BUT YOUR WORDS 67 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:25,846 PUT A HOLE IN MY HEART. 68 00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,682 I TREATED YOU AS A FRIEND, AS A CONFIDANTE, 69 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,318 AS A BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER, 70 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,353 AND HOW DO YOU REPAY ME? 71 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:33,621 DO YOU NAME A STAR AFTER ME? 72 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:36,424 DO YOU SEND ME AN EDIBLE FRUIT BASKET? 73 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:37,458 MM-MM. 74 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:38,826 DO YOU OFFER ME MY WEIGHT IN EUROS? 75 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,762 NO. YOU RUIN MY LIFE. 76 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:42,830 - IT WAS TRUE. 77 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,233 VALERIE HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME, 78 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:47,635 AND SHE DIDN'T DESERVE HER BAD FORTUNE. 79 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,036 I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD WRONGED HER. 80 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:51,104 I WAS THE ONE WITH THE CRAPPY KARMA. 81 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:54,408 SO WHY WASN'T I THE ONE WORKING IN A CREEPY LIQUOR STORE, 82 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:57,077 EATING BEEF JERKY AND RED HOTS TO FILL MY EMPTY SOUL? 83 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,247 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 84 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,548 ACTUALLY, THERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO FOR ME. 85 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:01,549 - NAME IT. 86 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,451 - GO [bleep] YOURSELF. - WHAT? 87 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:07,588 - I SAID, JENNA HAMILTON, 88 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,123 GO [bleep] YOURSELF. 89 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,926 [feedback] 90 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:16,364 [typing] 91 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,768 [bell rings] 92 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,069 - GET YOUR PROM TICKETS, 93 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:24,505 ON SALE IN THE JUNIOR QUAD RIGHT NOW. 94 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,007 IF YOU AIN'T GOT A DATE, DO LIKE THE TITANS DO. 95 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,277 BUY NOW, ASK LATER. 96 00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:32,045 GET YOUR PROM TICKETS. 97 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,814 - SORRY ABOUT THAT. 98 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:37,017 [upbeat music] 99 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,719 - HEY, JENNA. - HEY. 100 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,555 - MR. HUTCHERSON. - CLASS OF '89. 101 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,157 - NOW YOU REMEMBER? 102 00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:46,794 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS STUPID LOCKER? 103 00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:49,697 - IT'S NOT YOURS. 104 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,964 WHY ARE YOU SO OUT OF IT TODAY? 105 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,933 - I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT VALERIE. 106 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,435 IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT THAT MY LIFE 107 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,870 IS ON THE UPSWING WHILE SHE'S GOING THROUGH HELL, 108 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,306 ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S ALL MY FAULT. 109 00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:02,209 - SHE DID ALL THOSE CRAZY, REALLY INAPPROPRIATE THINGS. 110 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:03,311 ALL YOU DID WAS WRITE ABOUT IT. 111 00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:04,545 LET IT GO. - I CAN'T. 112 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,179 - DID YOU EVER THINK THIS COULD BE A GOOD THING FOR HER? 113 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,448 - SERIOUSLY? - YEAH. 114 00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:08,549 MAYBE SHE'LL COME OUT THE OTHER END 115 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,418 WITH A BETTER JOB OR SOMETHING. 116 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,752 YOU KNOW WHAT THE SAY, WHAT DOESN'T KILL US 117 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:12,986 MAKES US STRONGER. 118 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,589 - I COULD ONLY HOPE THAT WAS TRUE FOR VALERIE. 119 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,358 BUT I KNEW IT WAS TRUE FOR MATTY AND ME. 120 00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:18,959 WE HAD BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, 121 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,528 AND YET WE'RE CLOSER THAN EVER. 122 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,363 SURE, WE WERE JUST FRIENDS, 123 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,332 BUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JAKE WORKED 124 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:25,933 BECAUSE WE TOOK IT SLOW. 125 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,868 MAYBE IT WAS BETTER FOR MATTY AND ME 126 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:31,439 TO START AS FRIENDS AND WORK TOWARDS THE BENEFITS. 127 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,745 - IF YOU'RE TRYING TO DO MAGIC, DON'T. 128 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,613 I HATE IT. - HOW CAN ANYBODY HATE MAGIC? 129 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,014 - I DON'T KNOW. IT CREEPS ME. 130 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,584 - MAYBE NOT NOW, BUT ONE DAY, 131 00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:46,520 YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE MAGIC AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE ME. 132 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:50,824 - [scoffs] DOUBT IT. 133 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,394 - SAVED IT UP FROM PUTTING IN ELECTRONIC DOG FENCES, 134 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,095 SOMETHING I'M ETHICALLY OPPOSED TO. 135 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,697 SO THIS IS BASICALLY BLOOD MONEY, 136 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:59,232 BUT IT WAS FOR A GOOD CAUSE: PROM TICKETS. 137 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,535 - SWEET, BUT HOLD ON TO YOUR CASH. 138 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,236 I CAN GET THEM FOR FREE. - HOW? 139 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,538 - BY USING THE GOOD KIND OF MAGIC: 140 00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,574 THE ASIAN KIND. 141 00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:09,777 [snaps fingers] 142 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:12,212 WHERE ARE MY ASIANS AT? 143 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:18,218 [sighs] IT'S DEAD. 144 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,388 HEY, HENRY? HENRY. 145 00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,456 HIT ME UP LATER. MAMA'S GOTTA DO BUSINESS. 146 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:26,394 - STOP TALKING LIKE A PIMP. - STOP DOING MAGIC. 147 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,128 DUDE, WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME? 148 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,430 AND HOW COME AFTER I SNAP MY FINGERS, 149 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,399 THERE AREN'T ANY ASIANS IN MY FACE? 150 00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:33,601 IF THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME. 151 00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,202 YOU OWE ME THAT. 152 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:38,639 YOU AND I HAVE PRETENDED TO GO THROUGH A LOT TOGETHER. 153 00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:42,843 - COUP D'ETAT. 154 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,915 - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 155 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,052 [gasps] 156 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:56,590 [both gasp] 157 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:57,858 both: A COUP D'ETAT? 158 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,528 - WHICH I THOUGHT WAS FRENCH FOR "FANCY BRUNCH" 159 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,763 BUT ACTUALLY MEANS "SUDDEN OVERTHROW, OFTEN VIOLENT." 160 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,297 - PUTTING THE MASCOT HEAD IN YOUR LOCKER 161 00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:05,966 WAS SERIOUSLY DISTURBING. 162 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,135 - AND PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. HOW DID THEY GET IT IN THERE? 163 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,237 - I'M GUESSING IT'S SOME TYPE OF HEAD-SHRINKING TECHNIQUE. 164 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,440 - BY SOME KIND OF INSANIAC. 165 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,774 [gasps] DO YOU THINK BECCA'S BACK? 166 00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,609 - NO, THEY HATED HER MORE THAN ME. 167 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,446 I BET IT'S THAT ASS[bleep] ISAIAH. 168 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,180 [sighs] THIS IS MY OWN DAMN FAULT. 169 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,082 I ABUSED MY POWER, AND NOW IT'S COMING BACK 170 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,952 TO BITE ME IN THE ASS 171 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:26,219 OR PERHAPS KILL ME. 172 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,855 - APPARENTLY, EVERYONE WAS FEELING 173 00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,156 THE EFFECTS OF KARMA. 174 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,324 QUESTION WAS, HOW LONG WOULD IT LAST? 175 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,460 - I SHOULD'VE SEEN THIS COMING. 176 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,462 LAST WEEK, I LOST MY PARKING SPOT-- 177 00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:35,529 - I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME 178 00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:36,764 AN ASIAN BROUGHT YOU A LATTE. 179 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,466 - AND MY SECRET HOTLINE'S GONE COLD. 180 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:40,801 SEE? 181 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,870 [bleep] THE WHAT? I HAD IT ON ME THIS MORNING. 182 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,838 HOW DO THEY DO THAT? - NO OFFENSE, MING. 183 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,174 BUT YOU WERE NEVER CUT OUT TO BE A RUTHLESS DESPOT. 184 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,175 - YEAH, MAYBE THIS WAS FOR THE BEST. 185 00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:49,510 - IT'S NOT. 186 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,879 ONCE I'M OUSTED, THEY MIGHT SEND ME AWAY LIKE BECCA, 187 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:55,983 OR GOD FORBID THEY SEND ME TO THE SAME PLACE. 188 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,284 I SHOULD PROBABLY KEEP A LOW PRO, 189 00:06:57,284 --> 00:07:00,854 STAY OUT OF THE DAYLIGHT. 190 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,289 - NOW, CAN WE PLEASE TALK 191 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:04,124 ABOUT WHAT'S BEEN ON MY SCRAWLING NEWSREEL ALL MORNING? 192 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,526 - AND THAT IS? - PROM. 193 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,828 JAKE PROMISED TO MAKE UP FOR HIS INFAMOUS SEX VAN DISASTROPHY 194 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,129 BY PLANNING THE PERFECT NIGHT, 195 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,998 WHICH MEANS I NEED THE PERFECT DRESS, 196 00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,533 WHICH IS GIVING ME MAJ DRESS STRESS. 197 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,901 I'M THINKING ABOUT GOING LONG 198 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,603 'CAUSE I'VE SEEN A LOT OF MAXIS ON THE RED C. 199 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:16,737 - RED CARPET. 200 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:17,738 - BUT WHAT IF PALOS HILLERS 201 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,039 ARE FASHION BEHIND AND GO MINI? 202 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,374 MAYBE I'LL JUST STICK WITH SHORT TO BE SAFE. 203 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,076 [gasps] NO. 204 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:26,013 I'LL GO HIGH-LOW. PROBLEM SOLVED. 205 00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,414 IS MATTY GONNA ASK YOU? 206 00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:28,516 - WE'VE BEEN GETTING ALONG WELL, 207 00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:30,417 BUT I DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING. 208 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:33,186 - WHY NOT? - I DON'T WANNA BE LET DOWN. 209 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,155 I FINALLY EARNED HIS FRIENDSHIP BACK. 210 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:39,527 BUT A DATE TO PROM? THAT'S PUSHING IT. 211 00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:41,562 AND THAT'S A WRAP ON PROM TALK. 212 00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,996 - SO PROM. 213 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,733 GUESS WHO GOT HERE EARLY AND BOUGHT THE FIRST TWO TICKETS. 214 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,101 - MM, SO FAR, SO GOOD. - [chuckles] 215 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:52,405 - WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK IT MEANS TO ASK SOMEONE TO PROM? 216 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,607 BASICALLY LIKE A DTR, RIGHT? 217 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,876 - YEAH, I GUESS. 218 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,811 MAYBE I HAD BANKED ENOUGH GOOD KARMA 219 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,547 FOR A PROM DATE, AND MATTY AND I 220 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,114 WERE GOING TO RE-TR. 221 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,551 - I AGREE, DROPPING A HUNDIE ON TICKETS, 222 00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,853 PLUS FLOWERS, A LIMO, A HOTEL-- 223 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:09,022 - HOTEL? - MAYBE A HOTEL? 224 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,824 HOTEL. 225 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,726 YOU DON'T REALLY DO THAT UNLESS YOU'RE INTO SOMEBODY. 226 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:13,727 - THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. 227 00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:15,395 - OR YOU WANNA GET LAID. - JAKE. 228 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,330 - BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I'M DOING IT--I CAN GET LAID ANY TIME. 229 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,132 - OR NEVER AGAIN. - WELL, NO, NO. 230 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,101 THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. I-I-- 231 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,903 [sighs] I JUST WANNA MAKE IT SPECIAL, 232 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,304 SO YOU HAVE A PROM NIGHT THAT YOU REMEMBER 233 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:25,606 THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 234 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,040 - [gasps] WE'RE SKIPPING FIFTH PERIOD. 235 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,042 WE HAVE TO PRE-SHOP BEFORE SOME SKANKAZOID 236 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,210 NABS MY PERFECT DRESS. 237 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,279 - SUDDENLY, I HAD DRESS STRESS TOO. 238 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:34,014 IF I WAS GOING TO PROM WITH MATTY, 239 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,883 I HAD TO FIND MY PERFECT DRESS. 240 00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,885 - I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT. 241 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,319 - WHAT? - VALERIE. 242 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:42,355 YOU'RE STILL WORRIED ABOUT HER. 243 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,357 - VERY WORRIED. AND GUILTY. 244 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,160 I HAD NO RIGHT FANTASIZING ABOUT A STUPID DANCE 245 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,029 WHEN VAL WAS PUTTING HER LIFE ON THE LINE 246 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,132 TO KEEP REPROBATES IN CHEAP SPIRITS AND ROLLING PAPERS. 247 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,334 - I KNOW I TOLD YOU TO JUST LET IT GO, 248 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,103 BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN'T. 249 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,238 DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 250 00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,240 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 251 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,209 I CAN, AND I WILL. 252 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:05,478 IF I HAD THE POWER TO GET VALERIE FIRED, 253 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,014 WHO WAS TO SAY I DIDN'T HAVE THE POWER 254 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,215 TO GET HER REHIRED? 255 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,950 BECAUSE YOU ONLY KNOW ONE SIDE OF THE STORY, 256 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,685 WHICH ISN'T FAIR BECAUSE THERE ARE ALWAYS 257 00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:12,753 TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY, 258 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:13,887 ONE OF WHICH IS THE RIGHT ONE. 259 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,455 - CAN YOU PLEASE JUST FOR ONE SECOND-- 260 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,658 - PRINCIPAL COX, ARE YOU AWARE THAT WE ARE LIVING IN AMERICA... 261 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,126 - I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA. 262 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,294 - WHERE EVERYONE DESERVES THE RIGHT TO BE HEARD. 263 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,296 VALERIE DESERVES THE CHANCE TO DEFEND HERSELF. 264 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,132 I WAS THE ONE WHO WROTE THAT ESSAY, 265 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,734 WHICH I NOW ADMIT WAS MEAN-SPIRITED 266 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:27,868 AND TOTALLY BIASED. 267 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,402 AND I THINK SHE SHOULD GET HER JOB BACK, 268 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,403 SO SHE SHOULD GET HER JOB BACK-- 269 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,005 - STOP TALKING. 270 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,741 - I CAN'T, BECAUSE I AM NOT GONNA LET YOU SAY NO. 271 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,075 - [speaking gibberish] 272 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,509 [overlapping shouting] 273 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:37,878 - STOP, STOP IT, STOP IT. - NO, YOU STOP IT. 274 00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,914 - UH, NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH, MM, NEH. 275 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,550 MM. 276 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,018 I WASN'T GOING TO SAY NO. 277 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:48,421 I WAS GOING TO SAY, "MS. MARKS IS GETTING A HEARING." 278 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,123 - MY PLAN WAS WORKING. 279 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:53,326 I WAS TAKING ACTION, AND I WAS ALREADY SEEING RESULTS. 280 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,195 - IT WAS SCHEDULED FOR TOMORROW AT 3:30. 281 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,329 - WAS SCHEDULED? 282 00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:59,066 - I MADE THE ARRANGEMENTS THIS MORNING. 283 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,201 BUT THANKS FOR EATING UP 20 MINUTES OF MY DAY 284 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,871 'CAUSE I'VE GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH MY TIME. 285 00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:05,906 - HOPEFULLY, THE UNIVERSE WOULD REALIZE 286 00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:09,176 IT WAS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTED. 287 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:11,111 HEY, IT'S JENNA. I HAVE GOOD NEWS. 288 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,445 CALL ME. 289 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,114 IT'S OKAY. I'LL JUST TELL YOU NOW. 290 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,783 PRINCIPAL COX IS GONNA GIVE YOU A HEARING. 291 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,450 WE'RE GONNA GET YOUR JOB BACK! 292 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,923 - I JUST WANT MY JOB BACK. 293 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:25,158 I GAVE 110%. 294 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:28,862 I WAS THERE EARLY EVERY DAY, STAYED LATE, 295 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:31,364 WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND, 296 00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,333 SOMETIMES BELOW. 297 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,236 - UH, MOM? WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? 298 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:40,708 - THE UNIVERSE. 299 00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:42,542 OR OPRAH, 300 00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,812 IF SHE CAN HEAR ME. 301 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,046 - WHAT'S WRONG? 302 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,447 - NOW THAT I'M UNEMPLOYED, 303 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:51,284 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. 304 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,853 I HAVE NO PURPOSE. 305 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:56,156 - THOUGH HER SITUATION WASN'T QUITE AS DIRE AS VALERIE'S, 306 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,826 TO MY MOM, IT FELT JUST AS TRAUMATIC. 307 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:01,729 AND SINCE I WAS ALREADY PLAYING GOODWILL AMBASSADOR, 308 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:04,164 I FELT OBLIGATED TO HELP HER TOO. 309 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,565 AND I KNEW JUST HOW TO DO IT. 310 00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:06,566 LET'S GO SHOPPING. 311 00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,135 - YOUR FATHER CUT UP MY CREDIT CARDS. 312 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,236 - WHY? 313 00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,438 - HE DOESN'T APPROVE OF HOW MUCH 314 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,774 I'VE SPENT ON THERAPY. 315 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:18,611 - RETAIL THERAPY, WHICH CLEARLY ISN'T WORKING. 316 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,181 - YOU ARE SO INSENSITIVE. 317 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,916 CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I AM LOST 318 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,818 WITHOUT MY NURSING CAREER? 319 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,186 - YOU WERE A NURSE FOR A MONTH. 320 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,955 - WHICH IS LONGER THAN YOU NURSED JENNA. 321 00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:33,160 - I JUST MISS HAVING SOMEWHERE TO GO EVERY MORNING. 322 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,662 I MISS BEING NEEDED. 323 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,264 I MISS SAVING LIVES. 324 00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:39,566 - YOU PUT BAND-AIDS ON PEOPLE. - DOZENS. 325 00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:43,771 - LACE, IF YOU REALLY WANT ANOTHER JOB, 326 00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:46,273 YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING ELSE. 327 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:49,609 - LIKE WHAT? - LIKE, UH... 328 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:50,911 - DON'T THINK. 329 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,780 IF YOU COULD HAVE YOUR DREAM JOB, WHAT WOULD IT BE? 330 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,481 - A REAL HOUSEWIFE OF PALOS VERDES. 331 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:58,151 - OR A... - FIGURE SKATER. 332 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:03,190 A CONTESTANT ON PROJECT RUNWAY. 333 00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:06,193 - HOW ABOUT SOMETHING REALISTIC? 334 00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,428 - [sighs] I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME. 335 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,331 - OKAY, FORGET THAT. WHAT ARE YOU GOOD AT? 336 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,500 - [chuckles] 337 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,402 - GROSS. 338 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,837 - [whimpers] 339 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:19,172 [pouts] 340 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,278 - THAT BELONGS TO MY MOM, WHO SAID I HAVE NO LIMIT. 341 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:26,579 SO I EXPECT THIS TO PLAY OUT 342 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,515 LIKE ONE OF MY FAV ROM-COMS, WHERE I POINT TO A DRESS 343 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,183 AND YOU PULL IT OUT FOR ME IN MY SIZE, 344 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,219 WHICH YOU INSTINCTIVELY KNOW JUST BY EYEBALLING ME. 345 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,220 THEN, WHILE I'M CHANGING, YOU PUT ON 346 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:35,555 SOME SUPER-FEM INDIE POP, NO EMO, 347 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,057 AND GASP IN AWE AND CLAP WILDLY 348 00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,691 EVERY TIME I EMERGE FROM THE DRESSING ROOM. 349 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:42,162 CHAMPAGNE IS OPTIONAL. 350 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,832 - T, YOU'VE MET BAILEY. 351 00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,233 - YEAH, YOU BROUGHT HER TO MATTY'S PARTY 352 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:47,467 WHEN YOU THOUGHT MING AND I WERE GONNA WINE-AND-DITCH YOU. 353 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,302 - I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME TAGGING ALONG. 354 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,938 - AS LONG AS YOU DON'T STEAL MY DRESS THUNDER. 355 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,705 - THAT WON'T BE A PROBLEM. 356 00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,474 I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO PROM. - WHY NOT? 357 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,609 - I'M JUST A LOSER FRESHMAN. NO ONE'S GONNA ASK ME. 358 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,478 - OF COURSE SOMEONE'S GONNA ASK YOU. 359 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:02,482 EVERY GUY IN SCHOOL THINKS YOU PUT OUT. 360 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,384 THAT'S NOT AN INSULT. WE ALL PUT OUT. 361 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,853 - DON'T INCLUDE ME IN YOUR SLUT PARADE. 362 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:08,688 - OH, RIGHT, MING STILL SHOPS AT THE VIRGIN MEGASTORE. 363 00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:12,893 - SO DO I. THE RUMORS AREN'T TRUE. 364 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,294 I MAY NOT BE A SLUT, 365 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,464 BUT I DO HAVE PRETTY GOOD TASTE. 366 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,566 - SHUT IT DOWN. 367 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,903 I FREAKIN' LOVE THAT. NOW PUT IT BACK. 368 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:37,417 - WHAT KIND OF BRA WOULD I WEAR WITH THIS? 369 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:40,653 SO NO BRA? 370 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,891 [muffled pop music] 371 00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:44,958 * 372 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,927 - THIS ONE FOR YOU. 373 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:49,662 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS ONE? - OUT OF ORDER. 374 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,899 - WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THEM? 375 00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:55,668 - ALL OUT OF ORDER. 376 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,937 - DO YOU WORK HERE? 377 00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:01,341 - HOW ELSE WOULD I KNOW DRESSING ROOMS OUT OF ORDER? 378 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,344 [tense music] 379 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:11,919 ** 380 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,028 [groans] WHAT THE [bleep]? 381 00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,232 - GOOD AFTERNOON, MING. 382 00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,367 - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? 383 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,569 WAIT, ARE YOU THE DICK 384 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,504 WHO PUT THE MASCOT HEAD IN MY LOCKER? 385 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:35,675 - I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF SAID ACTIVITY. 386 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,077 I'M HERE AS A NEUTRAL PARTY. 387 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,212 - FOR WHAT? - FOR YOU. 388 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,513 AND THE OTHERS. 389 00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:43,316 - THE OTHERS BEING THE MAFIA? 390 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,519 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? - NOTHING. 391 00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,588 WELL, I WOULDN'T MIND WATCHING 392 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,457 YOU TRY ON SOME DRESSES. [laughs] 393 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:53,093 BUT I'LL LEAVE THAT UP TO YOUR DISCRETION. 394 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,328 - NOT HAPPENING. 395 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,430 - THEN I'M HERE TO DELIVER A MESSAGE. 396 00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,731 - I'M LISTENING. 397 00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,766 - YOU'RE BEING CALLED INTO A MEETING 398 00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,168 AT THE SCHOOL TO DISCUSS THE TERMS 399 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:04,204 OF YOUR DEPARTURE FROM YOUR CURRENT POSITION. 400 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,538 - WHAT IF I DON'T WANNA DEPART? 401 00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:07,874 - I CAN'T HELP YOU WITH THAT. 402 00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,776 - WHEN'S THE MEETING? - IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. 403 00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,311 - WHAT TIME IS THAT? 404 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,312 - CAN'T HELP YOU WITH THAT EITHER. 405 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,880 - [sighs] THANKS A LOT, JERK. 406 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,682 - HEY, DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER. 407 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,885 BUT FEEL FREE TO FLASH HIM YOUR BRA. 408 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:19,886 - NO! 409 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,989 - DAMN IT. 410 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:32,565 - * I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU TALK TO ME * 411 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:33,700 * I'VE BEEN EYEING... * 412 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,835 - YOU FOUND A DRESS ALREADY? 413 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,170 - IT FOUND ME. 414 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,171 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO BRAG ABOUT IT. 415 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,740 SOME OF US ARE STILL SHOPPING. 416 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,842 - YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND. 417 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,045 IT'S HAPPENING. 418 00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,046 - THE COUP D'ETAT? 419 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,380 - SOME DUDE JUST TOLD ME TO MEET THEM 420 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:50,017 AT SCHOOL IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. 421 00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,384 I DON'T KNOW WHEN THAT IS, SO I'M JUST GONNA SHOW UP 422 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,852 AROUND MIDNIGHT AND HANG OUT. 423 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,187 - WE'LL COME WITH YOU. 424 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,588 - NO, I CAN'T ASK YOU TO DO THAT. 425 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:56,823 THEY MIGHT TAKE HOSTAGES. 426 00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,758 I'M GONNA GO SEE IF THEY HAVE THIS IN BLACK 427 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,027 SINCE THERE'S A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE 428 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:01,061 I'M GONNA BE BURIED IN IT. 429 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:09,036 * 430 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,805 - TRY IT ON. I KNOW YOU WANT TO. 431 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,075 - I WAS HOPING AN INVITE FROM MATTY 432 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,044 WAS ON THE TABLE, BUT I DIDN'T DARE JINX IT. 433 00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:18,378 I'M JUST LOOKING. 434 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:21,348 - YOU'VE AT LEAST GOTTA DO THE LAZY GIRL TRY-ON. 435 00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:24,284 YOU KNOW, HANGER-OVER-THE-HEAD DEAL. 436 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,885 [chuckles] - THAT'S A THING? 437 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,754 - YEAH, IT IS. 438 00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:31,624 IT'S A DUMB THING, BUT IT'S A THING. 439 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,095 AT THE RISK OF ALIENATING 440 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,763 MY ONLY FRIEND AT THIS SCHOOL, 441 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:39,432 I REALLY WANT TO COMMENT ON YOUR STATUS. 442 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,433 - GO AHEAD. 443 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,968 - YOU AND MATTY HAVE BEEN SPENDING 444 00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,870 A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER LATELY. 445 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,772 WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GO TOGETHER? 446 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,440 - WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. 447 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,211 AND BESIDES, I CHEATED ON HIM, 448 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,780 WHICH ISN'T GOING TO BE AN EASY THING TO RECOVER FROM. 449 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:56,483 I MADE MY BED, AND NOW I HAVE TO LIE IN IT. 450 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:57,917 BUT MAYBE SOME DAY, THAT BED 451 00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,787 WOULD HAVE MATTY IN IT AGAIN. 452 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:03,223 - DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. 453 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,292 WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. 454 00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:08,428 - BUT NOT ALL OF US DO IT WITH THE ENTIRE BASKETBALL TEAM. 455 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,696 - IGNORE HER. 456 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,399 - SAID ONE SLUT TO THE OTHER SLUT. 457 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,301 - SADIE, ISN'T IT HARD TO WINDOW-SHOP 458 00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:15,768 FROM INSIDE THE STORE? 459 00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,738 WE KNOW YOU'RE STILL BROKE. - NOT ANYMORE, GINGERSMURF. 460 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,573 MY ADVICE TO LOSERS LIKE YOU 461 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,375 HAS MADE ME TWITTER FAMOUS. 462 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:26,413 I HAVE SPONSORS. - SO YOU GET PAID TO TWEET? 463 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,848 - YEP, BUT HERE'S A FREEBIE. 464 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,118 UNLESS YOU PLAN ON PERFORMING IN A MUSIC VIDEO 465 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,320 SET IN BERLIN CIRCA 1985, 466 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,688 I'D SUGGEST LOSING THE HAT. 467 00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:38,658 #YOU'RE WELCOME. 468 00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:42,729 - IS SHE ALWAYS THAT BITCHY? 469 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,198 - OH, NO. NORMALLY, SHE'S MUCH WORSE. 470 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,733 [musical ringtone] 471 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,302 - IS IT MATTY? - MATTY? 472 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,204 [phone clicks] 473 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,940 - VALERIE, ISN'T THAT GREAT NEWS ABOUT YOUR HEARING? 474 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,475 - I NEVER ASKED YOU TO GET MY JOB BACK. 475 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,609 I DON'T WANT IT BACK. 476 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,378 WHEN I TOLD YOU TO [bleep] OFF, I MEANT IT. 477 00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,980 [phone clicks] 478 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,682 - BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE 479 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,651 WHO CAN TALK VALERIE INTO GOING TO THAT HEARING. 480 00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:07,520 SHE NEEDS YOU. 481 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,522 AND I'M SCARED TO GO TO HER HOUSE ALONE. 482 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,858 SO I NEED YOU. - I'M NEEDED? 483 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,794 - YES, BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT MOTIVATOR. 484 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,963 REMEMBER WHEN YOU WROTE ME THE LETTER? 485 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,831 OKAY, NOT THAT. 486 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,433 BUT REMEMBER WHEN YOU ENCOURAGED ME 487 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,868 TO STOP WEARING OVERALLS IN SEVENTH GRADE? 488 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,404 - I BURNED THEM WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING. 489 00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,273 - YES, AND WHILE I WAS UPSET AT THE TIME 490 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,575 AND THREATENED TO RUN AWAY AND CALL CHILD SERVICES, 491 00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:31,043 YOU SAVED ME FROM AN ENTIRE YEAR OF BEING RIDICULED. 492 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:34,381 AND WHAT ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS YOU GAVE LUPITA SPANX? 493 00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,616 - SHE WAS INSULTED AT FIRST. 494 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:41,554 BUT THEN SHE STARVED HERSELF 495 00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:45,958 AND LOST 15 POUNDS IN TWO WEEKS. 496 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,294 I DO HELP PEOPLE. 497 00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:50,297 - SO GO HELP VALERIE. 498 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:52,365 - I MAY HAVE A FUTURE AS A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER 499 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:56,236 OR A LIFE COACH OR A TOP CHEF. 500 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,671 EH--BUT DEFINITELY A LIFE COACH. 501 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,241 - YEAH, UH... 502 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:04,811 - L-DAWG, SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. 503 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,847 YOU, NOT SO MUCH. 504 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,416 - WE JUST STOPPED BY TO SAY HI. 505 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:10,950 - WELL, YOU'RE NOT MY STUDENT ANYMORE, 506 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,619 SO I DON'T HAVE TO BE NICE TO YOU. 507 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:15,121 - MAY WE COME IN? - YOU CAN. 508 00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:18,991 SHE CAN WAIT OUTSIDE. 509 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,027 - [grunting] 510 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:24,130 - [scoffs] 511 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,399 IF YOU'RE GONNA COME IN, YOU HAVE TO STAY OUT OF MY SIGHT, 512 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,400 AND THAT INCLUDES MY PERIPHERAL VISION. 513 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,002 POP A SQUAT IN MY SCRAPBOOKING NOOK. 514 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,005 [whimsical music] 515 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:38,711 * 516 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,848 - WOW. 517 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:45,552 - ARE THOSE ALL VISION BOARDS? 518 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,255 - OH, YEAH, AND THAT ONE'S A VISION BOARD 519 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:50,923 OF VISION BOARDS I WANT TO ENVISION ONE DAY 520 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,561 IF I EVER DREAM AGAIN. 521 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,764 [sighs] WINE? 522 00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:00,767 FRESCA? TREATS? 523 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:04,271 ONE'S FOR CATS. ONE'S FOR HUMANS. 524 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:09,075 THAT'S CAT CANDY. 525 00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:12,345 - WHERE ARE THE CATS? 526 00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:17,116 - THEY'RE HIDING 'CAUSE OF THE HOSTILE ENERGY. 527 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:20,186 - SO I KNOW YOU HAVE A HEARING TOMORROW... 528 00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:22,989 - PSSH. - AND I THINK YOU SHOULD GO. 529 00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,195 - [coughs] [groans] 530 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:31,964 [door opens, closes] 531 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,866 - WHO WAS THAT? 532 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,268 - AFTER I GOT FIRED FROM THE LIQUOR STORE, 533 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:36,269 I TOOK IN A BOARDER. 534 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:37,337 - HE LOOKS LIKE A CRIMINAL. 535 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:41,641 - AND YOU LOOK LIKE A NICE PERSON. 536 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:45,244 - VAL, I'M SORRY YOU LOST YOUR JOB...S. 537 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,147 - WASN'T MY FIRST TIME AT THE UNEMPLOYMENT RODEO. 538 00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,016 I'VE LOST PLENTY OF GIGS. 539 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,719 I'VE EVEN RIDDEN THE BULL INTO BANKRUPTCY. 540 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:55,187 I HAD MY DREAM JOB. 541 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:58,090 NOW, IT'S TIME TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT TELEMARKETING. 542 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,092 - DO YOU THINK I HAVE A GOOD VOICE FOR SALES? 543 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,330 - FOR PHONE SEX, MAYBE. 544 00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:05,465 - [groans] 545 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:07,033 [pouts] 546 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,368 - NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. 547 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:11,203 PUT DOWN THE CAT-- PUT DOWN THE CATS. 548 00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,005 GIVE ME THE CAT. 549 00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:14,173 MOM, REMEMBER WHY WE'RE HERE. 550 00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:16,142 MOTIVATE. - I CAN'T. 551 00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,210 SHE'S LIVING WITH A SERIAL KILLER. 552 00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:20,747 IT'S JUST TOO SAD. - YOU KNOW WHAT'S SADDER 553 00:21:20,747 --> 00:21:22,449 IS I DON'T EVEN CARE IF HE KILLS ME IN MY SLEEP. 554 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,150 WHAT DO I HAVE TO LIVE FOR? - EXACTLY. 555 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:26,819 - STOP IT. [sighs] 556 00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,054 YOU BOTH HAVE A LOT TO LIVE FOR. 557 00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:29,756 - [blows raspberry] 558 00:21:29,756 --> 00:21:31,023 - VAL, I THINK YOU CAN GET YOUR JOB BACK. 559 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:32,359 - OH. 560 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:33,993 - THE JOB YOU LOVE, THE JOB YOU WERE BORN TO DO. 561 00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:35,362 BUT YOU HAVE TO GO TO YOUR HEARING. 562 00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:38,398 - SHE'S RIGHT. [groans] 563 00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,733 YOU LOVE YOUR JOB, AND YOU SHOULD FIGHT FOR IT. 564 00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:42,469 - IF I WAS SUCH A GREAT COUNSELOR, 565 00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:46,373 THEN WHY DID YOU WRITE THOSE HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT ME? 566 00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:48,274 - I WAS IN A BAD PLACE. - YEAH. 567 00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:50,943 - I WAS ANGRY AND PROBABLY HIGH. 568 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,412 - SO HIGH. 569 00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:54,280 IT WAS THE WEED TALKING. SHE DIDN'T MEAN IT. 570 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,616 - I DIDN'T. - YOU'RE WASTING YOUR BREATH. 571 00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:57,884 THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY TO CONVINCE ME 572 00:21:57,884 --> 00:21:59,519 TO GO TO THAT DOG AND PONY SHOW, 573 00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:02,422 UNLESS IT ACTUALLY WAS A SHOW FEATURING DOGS AND PONIES. 574 00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:06,025 AND THEN, I'D BE FRONT ROW. 575 00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,894 - YOU HAVE DONE SO MUCH GOOD 576 00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:10,397 FOR SO MANY PEOPLE, 577 00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:13,966 ESPECIALLY ME. 578 00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:16,603 I NEED YOU, V. 579 00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:19,238 AND SO DO THE STUDENTS. 580 00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:24,076 - [sighs] I'M CONVINCED. 581 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:25,478 NOW I GOTTA GO CHANGE THE LOCKS. 582 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:28,180 THAT DUDE IS CREEPY. 583 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:31,183 [ominous music] 584 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:39,125 * 585 00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:44,431 - [singsong] I'M BACK. 586 00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:48,535 - IT WAS YOU. 587 00:22:48,535 --> 00:22:49,802 - THANKS FOR FILLING IN FOR ME. 588 00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:51,638 I HEAR YOU DID A FANTASTIC JOB. 589 00:22:51,638 --> 00:22:53,473 - REALLY? - MM-HMM. 590 00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:56,643 - OH. [giggles] 591 00:22:58,044 --> 00:22:59,912 AH. 592 00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:02,449 HUH. - [clicks tongue] 593 00:23:02,449 --> 00:23:05,985 SHAME ON YOU, MING FEI YEN HUANG. 594 00:23:05,985 --> 00:23:07,987 YOU'VE RUN THIS ORGANIZATION INTO THE GROUND. 595 00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:09,889 NOT SINCE CALIGULA FORCED HIS SOLDIERS 596 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,858 TO PICK UP SEASHELLS DURING BATTLE 597 00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:14,126 HAS SOMEONE PISSED AWAY SUCH A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY. 598 00:23:14,126 --> 00:23:17,296 BUT NOW, YOUR REIGN OF ERROR 599 00:23:17,296 --> 00:23:20,533 HAS COME TO AN END. 600 00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:23,803 AND THESE ARE THE TERMS OF YOUR DEPARTURE. 601 00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:29,075 - I DON'T ACCEPT THESE TERMS. 602 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:32,044 - YES, YOU DO, AND THERE'S AN ADDENDUM. 603 00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:34,547 I'M GOING TO PROM WITH FRED WU. 604 00:23:34,547 --> 00:23:36,716 - NO! 605 00:23:36,716 --> 00:23:39,886 [groaning] 606 00:23:39,886 --> 00:23:41,488 I'LL NEVER GO TO PROM WITH YOU. 607 00:23:41,488 --> 00:23:43,490 I'D RATHER BE THROWN INTO THE OCEAN 608 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:44,591 WEARING A SPEEDO MADE OF MEAT. 609 00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:46,526 - SILENCE! - NO, YOU SILENCE. 610 00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:48,828 - DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME TO SILENCE. 611 00:23:48,828 --> 00:23:50,797 - OKAY, THEN SHUT UP. 612 00:23:50,797 --> 00:23:52,364 YOU CAN HAVE THE ASIANS BACK, 613 00:23:52,364 --> 00:23:55,502 BUT I WANNA NEGOTIATE MY OWN TERMS. 614 00:23:55,502 --> 00:23:58,037 - [laughs] THAT IS SO CUTE. 615 00:23:58,037 --> 00:23:59,572 NOW SHUT YOUR SILLY LITTLE MOUTH, 616 00:23:59,572 --> 00:24:01,273 OR YOU WILL NEVER SEE FRED AGAIN. 617 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:03,743 IN FACT, NO ONE WILL. 618 00:24:03,743 --> 00:24:05,177 - SAVE YOURSELF, MING. SAVE YOURSELF. 619 00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:09,649 - WHAT YOU DON'T REALIZE, WANG FONG WEN TANG, 620 00:24:09,649 --> 00:24:11,518 IS THAT I STILL HAVE SOME CARDS IN MY DECK. 621 00:24:11,518 --> 00:24:12,619 - THAT I BELIEVE. 622 00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:15,154 YOU NEVER WERE PLAYING WITH A FULL DECK. 623 00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:18,357 - MAYBE, BUT I STILL HAVE ONE CARD LEFT. 624 00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:21,828 [ominous chord] 625 00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:25,064 - [chuckles] 626 00:24:25,064 --> 00:24:28,434 - GET OVER HERE, WAYNE. YOU'RE MY ACCOUNTANT NOW. 627 00:24:28,434 --> 00:24:29,669 - YOU CAN CHAIN ME TO A DESK, 628 00:24:29,669 --> 00:24:31,137 BUT YOU CAN NEVER MAKE ME TOUCH MY CALCULATOR. 629 00:24:31,137 --> 00:24:33,372 - I SEE YOUR FUTURE, WAYNE, 630 00:24:33,372 --> 00:24:36,375 AND IT INVOLVES A SMALL, DARK ROOM IN KOREATOWN 631 00:24:36,375 --> 00:24:38,177 WITH NO WINDOWS, WHERE YOU WILL SIT 632 00:24:38,177 --> 00:24:40,312 FOR 16 HOURS A DAY BREATHING IN ASBESTOS 633 00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:41,981 WHILE YOU SEW LITTLE LIGHTNING BOLTS 634 00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:46,185 ON FANCY SNEAKERS THAT YOU WILL NEVER WEAR. 635 00:24:46,185 --> 00:24:48,087 - HE DOESN'T WANNA WORK FOR YOU. - SURE HE DOES. 636 00:24:48,087 --> 00:24:50,256 [speaking Mandarin] 637 00:24:55,928 --> 00:24:59,231 - WHAT IF I GET YOU WEEKENDS OFF AND TWO SICK DAYS A MONTH? 638 00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:00,933 - I'VE ENJOYED THE PARTYING AND THE CHICKS, 639 00:25:00,933 --> 00:25:04,370 BUT ASIAN LIVERS DON'T PROCESS ALCOHOL WELL. 640 00:25:04,370 --> 00:25:08,808 AND TO BE HONEST, I FREAKIN' LOVE MATH. 641 00:25:08,808 --> 00:25:10,476 DON'T BE SAD FOR ME. 642 00:25:10,476 --> 00:25:11,578 I'LL ALWAYS HAVE A WAY TO REMEMBER 643 00:25:11,578 --> 00:25:13,680 MY CAREFREE, SALAD DAYS. 644 00:25:16,215 --> 00:25:19,151 - YES, YOU WILL. 645 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:23,289 OKAY. HERE'S THE DEAL. 646 00:25:23,289 --> 00:25:24,857 YOU LEAVE FRED AND ME ALONE. 647 00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:26,793 IF YOU SEE EITHER ONE OF US IN A PUBLIC FORUM, 648 00:25:26,793 --> 00:25:28,160 YOU KEEP WALKING. 649 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,062 WAYNE HERE GETS WEEKENDS OFF AND TWO SICK DAYS A MONTH, 650 00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:31,063 NO QUESTIONS ASKED. 651 00:25:31,063 --> 00:25:32,398 - WE DON'T GET SICK. 652 00:25:32,398 --> 00:25:36,002 - NO QUESTIONS ASKED. 653 00:25:36,002 --> 00:25:39,371 THOSE ARE MY TERMS. TAKE 'EM OR LEAVE 'EM. 654 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:42,374 [dramatic music] 655 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,877 * 656 00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:48,247 - FINE. YOU HAVE MY WORD. 657 00:25:48,247 --> 00:25:52,051 I WILL NO LONGER ACTIVELY TRY TO DESTROY YOU. 658 00:26:03,129 --> 00:26:05,131 [snaps fingers] 659 00:26:16,242 --> 00:26:18,010 - DON'T WORRY. I'VE SEEN IT ALL. 660 00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:19,912 HECK, I'VE DONE IT ALL. 661 00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:21,280 BUT I'M GOING TO NEED YOUR KEY BACK. 662 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:22,682 - RIGHT. 663 00:26:22,682 --> 00:26:25,417 I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. 664 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,654 UM, I-- 665 00:26:27,654 --> 00:26:30,056 - AH. 666 00:26:30,056 --> 00:26:31,123 - HOW MANY SHIRTS DID YOU HAVE MADE? 667 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,325 - JUST 30, BUT THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH 668 00:26:33,325 --> 00:26:34,694 TO MAKE A STATEMENT AT THE HEARING. 669 00:26:34,694 --> 00:26:37,730 [bleep]. 670 00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:39,799 [sighs] 671 00:26:39,799 --> 00:26:40,967 [both snicker] 672 00:26:40,967 --> 00:26:42,869 - DON'T WORRY. 673 00:26:42,869 --> 00:26:44,136 THEY CAN BE FIXED. - I DON'T HAVE TIME. 674 00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:46,205 I STILL NEED TO RECRUIT PEOPLE TO VOUCH FOR VAL. 675 00:26:46,205 --> 00:26:47,707 - I'LL VOUCH FOR HER. 676 00:26:47,707 --> 00:26:49,776 SHE GAVE ME SOME ADVICE WHEN I GOT IN THAT FIGHT WITH JAKE. 677 00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:51,944 IT WASN'T GOOD, BUT I CAN LEAVE OUT THAT DETAIL. 678 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:54,046 - AND I'M HAPPY TO SPEAK FOR HER TOO. 679 00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,447 - YOU BARELY KNOW HER. - BUT I KNOW YOU. 680 00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:58,685 AND I WANNA HELP. - YOU'RE BOTH COOL FOR HELPING. 681 00:26:58,685 --> 00:27:00,286 BUT JUST TO BE SURE I SAVE VAG, 682 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:03,389 I'M GONNA NEED TO FIND MORE VOLUNTEERS. 683 00:27:03,389 --> 00:27:04,991 WHO ELSE CAN I ASK? 684 00:27:04,991 --> 00:27:07,326 - I WILL TOTALLY VOUCH FOR MS. MARKS. 685 00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:11,130 SHE'S THE ONE WHO ENCOURAGED ME TO GET MY BOOBS DONE. 686 00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:13,365 - SHE CONVINCED SOME RANDOM PREGNANT WOMAN 687 00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:14,967 TO PEE ON A STICK, SO I COULD USE IT 688 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:17,603 TO TRICK MY BOYFRIEND INTO MARRYING ME. 689 00:27:17,603 --> 00:27:19,205 AH! [laughs] 690 00:27:19,205 --> 00:27:22,341 - I WAS CUTTING MYSELF AND HIDING IT FROM MY FRIENDS. 691 00:27:22,341 --> 00:27:24,376 BUT MS. MARKS SUGGESTED I-- 692 00:27:24,376 --> 00:27:26,178 J, I'M SORRY, I CAN'T DO THIS. 693 00:27:26,178 --> 00:27:27,413 - I FORGOT YOU WERE A TERRIBLE LIAR. 694 00:27:27,413 --> 00:27:28,480 - YEAH, AND HONESTLY, 695 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:32,151 I CAN'T SAY VALERIE EVER HELPED ME. 696 00:27:32,151 --> 00:27:33,920 - BUT THERE IS SOMEONE WHO CAN. 697 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:38,124 - HELL NO, I AM NOT DEFENDING THAT LUNATIC. 698 00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:40,893 - YOU OWE HER. 699 00:27:40,893 --> 00:27:43,262 SHE HELPED YOU FIND A PLACE TO LIVE WHEN YOUR MOM LEFT. 700 00:27:43,262 --> 00:27:44,430 SHE HOOKED YOU UP WITH ALLY. 701 00:27:44,430 --> 00:27:46,365 - AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THANKFUL FOR THAT? 702 00:27:46,365 --> 00:27:47,499 - COME ON, SADIE, YOU SPEND MOST 703 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,501 OF YOUR WAKING HOURS MAKING PEOPLE MISERABLE. 704 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,337 HOW ABOUT PUTTING A LITTLE GOOD OUT INTO THE WORLD? 705 00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:53,873 - TALK ABOUT THE POTHEAD CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK. 706 00:27:53,873 --> 00:27:55,942 YOU ARE THE ONE WHO EXPOSED HER INCOMPETENCE 707 00:27:55,942 --> 00:27:57,576 AND GOT HER [bleep]-CANNED. 708 00:27:57,576 --> 00:28:00,880 BESIDES, I GIVE AMAZING, LIFE-CHANGING ADVICE 709 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,482 TO THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS EVERY DAY. 710 00:28:03,482 --> 00:28:06,819 I AM SWIMMING IN GOODWILL. 711 00:28:06,819 --> 00:28:09,121 NOT THAT I GIVE A CRAP. 712 00:28:11,590 --> 00:28:13,826 - PREPARE TO BE IMPRESSED. 713 00:28:13,826 --> 00:28:15,161 - OH, YOU SURE YOU WANNA SET IT UP LIKE THAT? 714 00:28:15,161 --> 00:28:19,365 BECAUSE NOW, I'M EXPECTING AWESOME. 715 00:28:19,365 --> 00:28:20,466 YEAH, IT'S PERFECT. 716 00:28:20,466 --> 00:28:23,002 - THINK SO? - MAYBE NOT PERFECT. 717 00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:24,170 BUT AT LEAST IT WON'T LOOK LIKE 718 00:28:24,170 --> 00:28:26,572 WE'RE CRUSADING FOR VAGINAL REJUVENATION. 719 00:28:26,572 --> 00:28:27,840 - GROSS. - I TRY. 720 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,943 TO BE FUNNY, NOT TO BE GROSS. 721 00:28:30,943 --> 00:28:32,211 - IT'S REALLY COOL OF YOU TO HELP OUT WITH THIS. 722 00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:34,346 I KNOW JENNA APPRECIATES IT. 723 00:28:34,346 --> 00:28:35,982 - IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO. 724 00:28:35,982 --> 00:28:38,384 SHE WENT OUT OF HER WAY TO MAKE ME FEEL COMFORTABLE HERE. 725 00:28:38,384 --> 00:28:40,486 WELL, COMFORTABLE IS A BIT OF AN OVERSTATEMENT. 726 00:28:40,486 --> 00:28:44,223 I SHOULD SAY I FEEL LESS FREAK-LIKE. 727 00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:45,792 - [laughs] 728 00:28:45,792 --> 00:28:47,693 SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING JENNA WOULD SAY, ACTUALLY. 729 00:28:47,693 --> 00:28:49,028 [chuckles] 730 00:28:49,028 --> 00:28:50,997 - * KICK OF FATE 731 00:28:50,997 --> 00:28:53,632 * THERE I WAS INVISIBLE 732 00:28:53,632 --> 00:28:56,535 * JUST OUT OF PHASE 733 00:28:56,535 --> 00:28:58,304 - [pats chest] - YEAH. 734 00:28:58,304 --> 00:28:59,806 - IF YOU WANNA CHANGE, I COULD-- 735 00:28:59,806 --> 00:29:02,274 - RIGHT, RIGHT, BECAUSE I'M SUCH A SLUT, 736 00:29:02,274 --> 00:29:04,010 I WILL JUST NUDE UP IN FRONT OF ANYBODY. 737 00:29:04,010 --> 00:29:05,377 - YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH. 738 00:29:05,377 --> 00:29:07,313 I WAS GONNA SAY I WOULD LEAVE THE ROOM 739 00:29:07,313 --> 00:29:09,315 OR TURN AROUND, SO YOU COULD CHANGE. 740 00:29:09,315 --> 00:29:11,117 - SORRY. 741 00:29:11,117 --> 00:29:12,819 I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU BOUGHT INTO ALL THE RUMORS 742 00:29:12,819 --> 00:29:14,887 ABOUT ME BEING A... 743 00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:15,888 - A WHAT? 744 00:29:15,888 --> 00:29:19,391 - A DUCHESS... - OOH. 745 00:29:19,391 --> 00:29:22,261 - FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY THAT'S NOT THIS ONE. 746 00:29:22,261 --> 00:29:23,262 YEAH. 747 00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:25,031 - [laughs] OH, COME ON. WHAT RUMORS? 748 00:29:25,031 --> 00:29:26,132 - WELL, IF YOU DON'T KNOW, 749 00:29:26,132 --> 00:29:28,700 I AM SURE AS HELL NOT GONNA TELL YOU. 750 00:29:28,700 --> 00:29:31,303 BUT IF YOU DO HEAR ANYTHING, IT'S ALL LIES. 751 00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:33,472 - GOT IT. 752 00:29:33,472 --> 00:29:35,942 [indistinct whispering] 753 00:29:35,942 --> 00:29:37,343 - CAN WE PLEASE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS 754 00:29:37,343 --> 00:29:38,344 IN A TIMELY FASHION? 755 00:29:38,344 --> 00:29:40,612 MY DVR IS AT 98%, 756 00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:43,115 AND THOSE SHOWS ARE NOT GONNA WATCH THEMSELVES, LADIES. 757 00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:46,552 - OKAY. UH... [clears throat] 758 00:29:46,552 --> 00:29:48,520 TO ANSWER THE BOARD'S QUESTION, 759 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:53,192 I DID NOT TELL THAT FOOTBALL PLAYER 760 00:29:53,192 --> 00:29:54,861 TO CHEAT ON HIS TEST. 761 00:29:54,861 --> 00:29:58,865 I ONLY TOLD HIM IT WAS AN OPTION. 762 00:29:58,865 --> 00:30:02,068 - THAT KID IS OUR BEST QB. 763 00:30:02,068 --> 00:30:06,272 AND WE WOULD NEVER HAVE KICKED COUGAR BUTT WITHOUT HIM. 764 00:30:06,272 --> 00:30:07,439 - YEAH. - YEAH. 765 00:30:07,439 --> 00:30:08,640 - MM. - HEY. 766 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,877 - MS. MARKS, IS IT TRUE 767 00:30:10,877 --> 00:30:12,979 THAT YOU REFERRED TO A SELECT GROUP OF BOYS 768 00:30:12,979 --> 00:30:16,215 ON THE SWIM TEAM AS "HOTTIES"? 769 00:30:16,215 --> 00:30:18,350 - WELL, I MEAN, HAVE YOU SEEN THEM WITH THEIR SHIRTS OFF? 770 00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:21,888 - OBJECTION. - ON WHAT GROUNDS? 771 00:30:21,888 --> 00:30:23,155 - THAT INFORMATION IS HEARSAY, 772 00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:25,424 WHICH MAKES IT INADMISSIBLE IN COURT. 773 00:30:25,424 --> 00:30:28,660 PLUS, I WAS NOT PRIVY TO THAT EVIDENCE BEFORE TRIAL, 774 00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:32,464 SO I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CITE THE EXCLUSIONARY RULE. 775 00:30:32,464 --> 00:30:37,103 - UH, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 776 00:30:37,103 --> 00:30:40,839 - IF YOU WANT, I CAN EXPLAIN IT IN LAYMAN'S TERMS. 777 00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:42,942 I'VE SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF LAW & ORDER. 778 00:30:42,942 --> 00:30:46,645 CLASSIC, CRIMINAL INTENT, AND SEXY STYLE. 779 00:30:46,645 --> 00:30:47,980 SVU. 780 00:30:47,980 --> 00:30:49,481 - THERE'S NO NEED, MRS. HAMILTON, 781 00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:51,717 AS THIS IS NOT A COURT OF LAW. 782 00:30:51,717 --> 00:30:52,919 - [laughs] OKAY. 783 00:30:52,919 --> 00:30:54,653 - IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO ADD 784 00:30:54,653 --> 00:30:59,258 IN YOUR DEFENSE, MS. MARKS? 785 00:30:59,258 --> 00:31:01,928 - YES. 786 00:31:01,928 --> 00:31:05,965 UH, YOU SHOULD KNOW... 787 00:31:08,034 --> 00:31:10,369 I AM JUST A GIRL... - MM. 788 00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:14,606 - SITTING ACROSS FROM A BOARD, 789 00:31:14,606 --> 00:31:18,344 ASKING THEM TO GIVE HER HER JOB BACK. 790 00:31:18,344 --> 00:31:20,246 - IS THERE ANYONE ELSE WHO'S GOING 791 00:31:20,246 --> 00:31:23,815 TO TESTIFY ON YOUR BEHALF? 792 00:31:23,815 --> 00:31:25,484 - UH... 793 00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:31,123 - OKAY, WELL, THE BOARD-- 794 00:31:31,123 --> 00:31:34,493 [rock music] 795 00:31:34,493 --> 00:31:36,228 * 796 00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:39,298 - MY SURPRISE WITNESS. 797 00:31:39,298 --> 00:31:41,968 HEY. YOU ARE ON OUR SIDE, RIGHT? 798 00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:45,771 - I WOULD LIKE THE BOARD TO KNOW 799 00:31:45,771 --> 00:31:48,074 THAT MS. MARKS WAS INSTRUMENTAL 800 00:31:48,074 --> 00:31:51,143 IN HELPING MY AUNT ALLY GET A BABY. 801 00:31:51,143 --> 00:31:55,447 WITHOUT HER, ALLY WOULD STILL BE CHILDLESS, 802 00:31:55,447 --> 00:31:58,217 BARREN, AND PROBABLY DRUNK, 803 00:31:58,217 --> 00:32:00,619 ONE VODKA TONIC AWAY FROM SNATCHING 804 00:32:00,619 --> 00:32:02,621 SOME RANDOM BABY FROM A SHOPPING CART 805 00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:03,990 IN A GROCERY STORE 806 00:32:03,990 --> 00:32:08,360 THE INSTANT ITS MOTHER TURNED AWAY TO BUY FORMULA. 807 00:32:10,129 --> 00:32:13,099 - UH-- - GO ON, SADIE. 808 00:32:15,134 --> 00:32:17,569 - AND IN SAVING MY AUNT, SHE SAVED THAT BABY TOO. 809 00:32:17,569 --> 00:32:19,438 - THE SHOPPING CART BABY? - NO. 810 00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:21,773 ANOTHER ONE. 811 00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:25,144 A BABY WHO WAS HOMELESS, MOTHERLESS, 812 00:32:25,144 --> 00:32:29,581 FATHERLESS, AND HOUSEKEEPER-LESS. 813 00:32:29,581 --> 00:32:32,551 - MM. 814 00:32:32,551 --> 00:32:36,555 - THAT'S ALL VERY DRAMATIC, MS. SAXTON, 815 00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:38,290 BUT CAN YOU PROVE ANY OF THIS? 816 00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:42,694 - YES, I CAN. 817 00:32:42,694 --> 00:32:45,931 BECAUSE I AM THAT BABY. 818 00:32:45,931 --> 00:32:48,434 [all gasp] 819 00:32:48,434 --> 00:32:50,469 - OH. 820 00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:52,038 I TOTALLY FORGOT I DID THAT. 821 00:32:52,038 --> 00:32:55,041 [laughter] 822 00:32:55,041 --> 00:32:58,844 - [sighs] NOT GUILTY! 823 00:32:58,844 --> 00:33:01,780 I MEAN, VALERIE GOT HER JOB BACK. 824 00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:04,750 [giggles] 825 00:33:04,750 --> 00:33:06,918 I THINK I FINALLY FOUND MY CALLING. 826 00:33:06,918 --> 00:33:09,221 - YOU WANNA BE A LAWYER? - NO. 827 00:33:09,221 --> 00:33:10,922 I WANNA PLAY ONE ON TV. 828 00:33:10,922 --> 00:33:14,126 [sighs] 829 00:33:16,895 --> 00:33:20,066 - I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, AND IT MEANS A LOT TO ME. 830 00:33:20,066 --> 00:33:22,568 I'M SORRY I TOLD YOU TO GO [bleep] YOURSELF. 831 00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:25,704 - I DESERVED IT. - YOU DID. 832 00:33:25,704 --> 00:33:28,340 BUT, UM, YOU'RE STILL MY GIRL, J. 833 00:33:33,879 --> 00:33:35,547 MM. 834 00:33:35,547 --> 00:33:38,284 - OH, OKAY. OH, OKAY. 835 00:33:38,284 --> 00:33:39,885 [laughs] 836 00:33:39,885 --> 00:33:43,155 - OKAY, LADY. LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK. 837 00:33:43,155 --> 00:33:45,091 ACTUALLY, YOU SHOULD BUY ME ONE 838 00:33:45,091 --> 00:33:46,425 SINCE I DID THIS PRO BONO. 839 00:33:46,425 --> 00:33:47,693 [laughs] 840 00:33:52,431 --> 00:33:54,366 - YOU WANT A RIDE? - SURE. 841 00:33:56,768 --> 00:33:58,937 - OH. 842 00:34:01,207 --> 00:34:03,109 - BUDDHA WAS DEFINITELY ONTO SOMETHING 843 00:34:03,109 --> 00:34:06,345 WITH THIS WHOLE COSMIC PUNISHMENT-REWARD SYSTEM. 844 00:34:06,345 --> 00:34:09,115 MY DESIRABLE ACT OF GETTING VAL'S JOB BACK 845 00:34:09,115 --> 00:34:11,550 HAD PRODUCED A CORRESPONDING GOOD RESULT: 846 00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:13,885 I WAS GOING TO PROM WITH MATTY. 847 00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:17,623 AND IF THE SUPER-CHILL ASIAN GUY WAS A MAN OF HIS WORD, 848 00:34:17,623 --> 00:34:21,393 IT WOULDN'T BE LONG BEFORE I WAS CALLING HIM MY BOYFRIEND. 849 00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:22,828 BY HIM, I MEANT MATTY. 850 00:34:22,828 --> 00:34:24,830 IF I WAS PUTTING THAT THOUGHT INTO THE UNIVERSE, 851 00:34:24,830 --> 00:34:27,133 I WANTED IT TO BE CRYSTAL CLEAR. 852 00:34:27,133 --> 00:34:28,600 [cell phone vibrates] 853 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,302 [phone clicks] HEY. 854 00:34:30,302 --> 00:34:31,803 - JAKE'S IN THE BATHROOM, SO I HAVE TO TALK FAST. 855 00:34:31,803 --> 00:34:33,004 - YOU ALWAYS TALK FAST. 856 00:34:33,004 --> 00:34:34,039 - I OVERHEARD HIM TAKING TO MATTY, 857 00:34:34,039 --> 00:34:35,507 AND THE PROM ASK IS GOING DOWN TONIGHT. 858 00:34:35,507 --> 00:34:37,243 I GUESS HE'S NOT TELLING ME, SO I DON'T TELL YOU, 859 00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:38,244 WHICH I ALREADY DID, SO MAKE SURE 860 00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:39,545 YOU DO YOUR HAIR AND SHAVE YOUR LEGS. 861 00:34:39,545 --> 00:34:43,182 - HOLD ON, I'M GETTING A TEXT. 862 00:34:43,182 --> 00:34:46,017 - * HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, WATCHING... * 863 00:34:46,017 --> 00:34:48,520 - WE'RE ALL GOING TO PROM. 864 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:49,621 WE'RE ALL GOING TO PROM! [phone clicks] 865 00:34:49,621 --> 00:34:52,858 YEAH, YOU'RE NOT THERE. 866 00:34:52,858 --> 00:34:56,462 [squeals] 867 00:34:56,462 --> 00:34:59,365 I'M GOING TO PROM. 868 00:35:01,867 --> 00:35:03,202 - UGH. 869 00:35:03,202 --> 00:35:05,471 SORRY ABOUT THE TAKEOUT, BUT HEY. 870 00:35:05,471 --> 00:35:09,608 I WAS WORKING, SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO DEAL. 871 00:35:09,608 --> 00:35:10,842 - I'M PROUD OF YOU TWO. 872 00:35:10,842 --> 00:35:12,178 AFTER WHAT JENNA WROTE ABOUT HER, 873 00:35:12,178 --> 00:35:13,579 I DIDN'T THINK VALERIE HAD A CHANCE IN HELL. 874 00:35:13,579 --> 00:35:15,581 - DAD. - I MEANT THAT AS A COMPLIMENT. 875 00:35:15,581 --> 00:35:16,715 I DON'T WANNA BRING YOU DOWN. 876 00:35:16,715 --> 00:35:21,753 - WELL, THAT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE. 877 00:35:21,753 --> 00:35:22,921 MATTY'S GONNA ASK ME TO PROM. 878 00:35:22,921 --> 00:35:24,055 - [screams] 879 00:35:24,055 --> 00:35:26,192 YOU NEED A DRESS. - NO MORE SHOPPING. 880 00:35:26,192 --> 00:35:28,360 - I ACTUALLY ALREADY FOUND THE PERFECT DRESS, 881 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,796 BUT I ONLY HAVE $400 IN SAVINGS. 882 00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:33,332 - HOW MUCH IS THIS DRESS? - 750. 883 00:35:33,332 --> 00:35:34,766 - WHAT IS IT, MADE OF $20 BILLS? 884 00:35:34,766 --> 00:35:36,968 - I'M SURE IT'S SOMETHING THAT SHE'LL BE ABLE 885 00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:39,205 TO WEAR OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 886 00:35:39,205 --> 00:35:41,707 - TO WEDDINGS AND... - PARTIES AND... 887 00:35:41,707 --> 00:35:43,709 - BAR MITZVAHS. 888 00:35:43,709 --> 00:35:46,778 - THE GIRL KIND OF BAR MITZVAHS. 889 00:35:46,778 --> 00:35:48,480 - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. IF YOU'RE GONNA GANG UP ON ME, 890 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,717 I'M OUTTA HERE. 891 00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,622 - I WAS SAVING THE MONEY I MADE AS A NURSE 892 00:35:56,622 --> 00:35:58,224 FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION, 893 00:35:58,224 --> 00:36:02,894 AND THIS IS ABOUT AS SPECIAL AS IT GETS. 894 00:36:05,831 --> 00:36:07,098 I DIDN'T WANT YOUR DAD TO FIND IT. 895 00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:09,235 [laughs] 896 00:36:15,374 --> 00:36:16,375 - [sighs] 897 00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:18,009 WHAT IF THE DRESS IS ALREADY GONE? 898 00:36:18,009 --> 00:36:19,411 - IF WE HURRY, WE CAN STILL MAKE IT TO THE STORE. 899 00:36:19,411 --> 00:36:21,713 [snaps fingers] OKAY. 900 00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:31,890 - FEELS GOOD TO BE FREE. 901 00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:35,060 - I JUST HOPE IT LASTS. - DON'T BE SO CYNICAL. 902 00:36:35,060 --> 00:36:37,563 I MEAN, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH CRAP. 903 00:36:37,563 --> 00:36:39,898 WE'VE EARNED OUR HAPPINESS. 904 00:36:39,898 --> 00:36:42,901 I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE IT ALL UP FOR ME. 905 00:36:42,901 --> 00:36:45,271 - I'D DO IT AGAIN. - YOU WOULD? 906 00:36:45,271 --> 00:36:46,905 - WHAT'S THE POINT OF UNLIMITED POWER 907 00:36:46,905 --> 00:36:48,274 AND BOTTOMLESS LATTES IF I HAVE NO ONE 908 00:36:48,274 --> 00:36:49,341 TO SHARE THEM WITH? 909 00:36:49,341 --> 00:36:52,278 BESIDES, I WAS PROBABLY THE WORST MOB BOSS EVER. 910 00:36:52,278 --> 00:36:53,712 - UH, YEAH, YOU WERE. 911 00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:57,883 - [smacks Fred playfully] [both laugh] 912 00:36:57,883 --> 00:36:59,285 DID YOU GET PROM TICKETS BEFORE YOU ABDICATED? 913 00:36:59,285 --> 00:37:03,088 THAT 100 BUCKS I HAD FELL THROUGH MY TRAP POCKET. 914 00:37:03,088 --> 00:37:05,324 - SEE, MAGIC IS DUMB. - SALT IN THE WOUND, MING. 915 00:37:05,324 --> 00:37:08,694 - SORRY. [both laugh] 916 00:37:08,694 --> 00:37:11,863 I DID MANAGE TO GET ONE TICKET, 917 00:37:11,863 --> 00:37:13,332 BUT I CAN GO TO THE DANCE FIRST 918 00:37:13,332 --> 00:37:14,666 AND SNEAK YOU IN THROUGH THE BACK. 919 00:37:14,666 --> 00:37:16,935 - JUST LIKE REGULAR FOLKS. 920 00:37:16,935 --> 00:37:18,870 - JUST LIKE REGULAR FOLKS. [laughs] 921 00:37:18,870 --> 00:37:21,840 - * SOMETIMES I DRIFT LIKE AUTUMN LEAVES * 922 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,609 - FRED? - HMM? 923 00:37:23,609 --> 00:37:25,977 - WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO US? 924 00:37:25,977 --> 00:37:28,880 WHAT WILL WE BE WITHOUT THE DRAMA, 925 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:33,051 THE INTRIGUE, THE DECEPTION? 926 00:37:33,051 --> 00:37:35,621 - I DON'T KNOW, MING. 927 00:37:35,621 --> 00:37:37,523 I DON'T KNOW. 928 00:37:37,523 --> 00:37:41,092 - * AH 929 00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:43,662 * AH AH AH 930 00:37:43,662 --> 00:37:49,668 *AH AH AH, AH AH AH * 931 00:37:49,668 --> 00:37:52,604 *AH AH AH * 932 00:37:52,604 --> 00:37:55,774 - IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. 933 00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:58,344 DO YOU THINK IT'LL FIT ME? 934 00:37:58,344 --> 00:37:59,911 - OH, YOU'RE SERIOUS. 935 00:37:59,911 --> 00:38:01,947 [doorbell rings] 936 00:38:01,947 --> 00:38:03,682 - AH! [giggles] 937 00:38:03,682 --> 00:38:05,116 THE DRESS. 938 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,986 - OH, RIGHT. 939 00:38:07,986 --> 00:38:09,555 - JENNA, MATTY'S HERE. 940 00:38:09,555 --> 00:38:11,623 I-I-I CAN'T GET OUT OF THE DRESS. 941 00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:13,191 - [mutters] 942 00:38:15,727 --> 00:38:17,596 I CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF THE DRESS. 943 00:38:17,596 --> 00:38:19,164 - MOM, HE CAN'T SEE ME IN THIS. 944 00:38:19,164 --> 00:38:20,399 HE'LL THINK I KNEW ALL ALONG, 945 00:38:20,399 --> 00:38:21,400 AND I DON'T WANNA JINX IT. 946 00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:22,968 - [sighs] OKAY. 947 00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:24,470 - OH, MOM, MOM, NO. - OH, I'M SORRY. 948 00:38:24,470 --> 00:38:26,705 I'M SORRY. - JENNA! 949 00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:27,906 - WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 950 00:38:35,013 --> 00:38:36,982 - HI. 951 00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:39,017 - HEY. 952 00:38:40,686 --> 00:38:42,253 I'M SORRY, WERE YOU ABOUT TO GO OUT? 953 00:38:42,253 --> 00:38:43,789 - OH, THIS. 954 00:38:43,789 --> 00:38:46,157 UM, I WAS... 955 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:50,061 - JENNA, ARE YOU READY FOR THE BAR MITZVAH? 956 00:38:50,061 --> 00:38:51,897 - GOING TO A BAR MITZVAH. 957 00:38:51,897 --> 00:38:52,964 SHALOM. 958 00:38:52,964 --> 00:38:54,966 - AT 10:00 AT NIGHT? 959 00:38:54,966 --> 00:38:57,202 - IT'S ACTUALLY AT MIDNIGHT, 960 00:38:57,202 --> 00:38:58,404 THE SECOND THE KID TURNS 13. 961 00:38:58,404 --> 00:39:02,641 THAT CRAZY KID JUST COULDN'T WAIT. 962 00:39:02,641 --> 00:39:05,411 DO YOU WANNA SIT DOWN? 963 00:39:05,411 --> 00:39:07,946 - YEAH, I GUESS. 964 00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:13,985 [sighs] 965 00:39:13,985 --> 00:39:16,488 - SO... 966 00:39:16,488 --> 00:39:18,323 - SO... [sighs] 967 00:39:18,323 --> 00:39:21,793 SO-- 968 00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:23,495 OH, I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS UNCOMFORTABLE 969 00:39:23,495 --> 00:39:24,730 IN YOUR LIVING ROOM BEFORE. 970 00:39:24,730 --> 00:39:26,798 - OH, COME ON. IT'S JUST ME. 971 00:39:26,798 --> 00:39:28,934 - UH, I KNOW. THAT'S WHY IT'S WEIRD. 972 00:39:28,934 --> 00:39:30,569 - YOU'RE MAKING IT WEIRD, WEIRDO. 973 00:39:30,569 --> 00:39:34,239 - YOU'RE MAKING IT WEIRDER TOO. 974 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:35,607 THAT'S--OKAY, HOW AM I GONNA DO THIS? 975 00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:38,143 - DO WHAT? 976 00:39:38,143 --> 00:39:40,679 - OKAY. 977 00:39:40,679 --> 00:39:42,614 YOU'RE ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS. 978 00:39:42,614 --> 00:39:43,682 - AND YOU'RE ONE OF MINE. 979 00:39:43,682 --> 00:39:47,185 - [laughs] 980 00:39:47,185 --> 00:39:48,353 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 981 00:39:48,353 --> 00:39:50,221 I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM BEING SO FORMAL. 982 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:53,058 - PERHAPS I HAD AMASSED TOO MUCH GOOD KARMA. 983 00:39:53,058 --> 00:39:56,261 MY PROM PROPOSITION WAS STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A PROPOSAL. 984 00:39:56,261 --> 00:39:58,464 - IT'S JUST--IT'S KINDA STRANGE TALKING ABOUT IT 985 00:39:58,464 --> 00:40:02,668 BECAUSE I JUST-- I FEEL LIKE WE'RE SO BEYOND IT. 986 00:40:02,668 --> 00:40:05,070 SO...PROM. 987 00:40:05,070 --> 00:40:07,172 - PROM. - PROM. 988 00:40:07,172 --> 00:40:08,707 [sighs] 989 00:40:08,707 --> 00:40:10,909 I KNOW YOU SAW THOSE TICKETS TODAY. 990 00:40:10,909 --> 00:40:12,578 - I-I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 991 00:40:12,578 --> 00:40:14,112 - MM-HMM, YOU SAW THEM, 992 00:40:14,112 --> 00:40:15,847 AND THEN YOU PRETENDED NOT TO, AND YOU LOOKED AWAY. 993 00:40:15,847 --> 00:40:17,616 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 994 00:40:17,616 --> 00:40:18,850 I DID DO THAT, 995 00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:22,888 AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY. 996 00:40:22,888 --> 00:40:25,657 - SO ARE YOU GOING? 997 00:40:25,657 --> 00:40:27,526 - I HOPE SO. 998 00:40:27,526 --> 00:40:30,028 ARE YOU? 999 00:40:30,028 --> 00:40:31,062 - YEAH, I HOPE SO TOO. 1000 00:40:31,062 --> 00:40:33,765 - I HAD NEVER SEEN MATTY SO ANXIOUS. 1001 00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:36,067 ALL HIS NERVOUS TICKS WERE IN FULL FORCE, 1002 00:40:36,067 --> 00:40:37,603 AND IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME 1003 00:40:37,603 --> 00:40:40,038 BEFORE HE BUSTED OUT THE ARMPIT SNIFF. 1004 00:40:40,038 --> 00:40:41,540 IT WAS SWEET. 1005 00:40:41,540 --> 00:40:43,041 BY ALL ACCOUNTS, HE SEEMED WORRIED 1006 00:40:43,041 --> 00:40:45,811 I WAS GOING TO TURN HIM DOWN. 1007 00:40:45,811 --> 00:40:47,746 - ANYWAY, PROM. THAT'S--THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. 1008 00:40:47,746 --> 00:40:49,481 - ALL MY LIFE, I HAD HEARD, 1009 00:40:49,481 --> 00:40:53,051 "WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND." 1010 00:40:53,051 --> 00:40:54,185 - I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE 1011 00:40:54,185 --> 00:40:56,922 THAT YOU WERE COOL WITH ME ASKING BAILEY. 1012 00:40:56,922 --> 00:40:59,991 - AND IT HAD DEFINITELY COME BACK AROUND. 1013 00:40:59,991 --> 00:41:02,528 - *HE LEFT YOU * 1014 00:41:02,528 --> 00:41:05,230 * IN A FOREST 1015 00:41:07,699 --> 00:41:08,700 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 1016 00:41:08,700 --> 00:41:09,768 SO YOU WANNA TAKE BAILEY TO PROM. 1017 00:41:09,768 --> 00:41:10,869 - IS THAT OKAY? 1018 00:41:10,869 --> 00:41:14,039 - LISS, I THINK I'M IN LOVE. - NO. 1019 00:41:14,039 --> 00:41:15,974 - SEX--IT'S AS IF IT'S IN THE FINE PRINT 1020 00:41:15,974 --> 00:41:17,275 OF EVERY PROM TICKET. 1021 00:41:17,275 --> 00:41:18,544 I'M NOT READY. 1022 00:41:18,544 --> 00:41:20,746 - HAVE YOU FINALLY GOTTEN PAST YOUR HATRED OF ME? 1023 00:41:20,746 --> 00:41:23,114 - IT'S TIME FOR ALL OF YOU TO REFLECT 1024 00:41:23,114 --> 00:41:25,551 AND WRITE ABOUT WHO YOU WANT TO BE. 1025 00:41:25,551 --> 00:41:26,718 - [sighs]