1 00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,038 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:05,406 A BARBECUE IS THE PERFECT WAY 3 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,675 TO EASE THE WEIRDNESS. - GO TO THE DAMN BARBECUE! 4 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,777 - YOUR FRIENDS MIGHT NEED SOME TIME TO ADJUST. 5 00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,145 - WHAT THEY NEED IS TIME WITH YOU. 6 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,514 - THEY'RE NOT COMING. - YOU ARE TOTALLY TAKING SIDES! 7 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,416 - WE WEREN'T TAKING SIDES, BUT WE ARE NOW, 8 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,351 AND WE ARE NOT ON YOURS. 9 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,090 - POST DE-FRIENDING MY FRIENDS, 10 00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:25,859 MY LIFE HAD BECOME A LITTLE...HAZY. 11 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,595 I WAS CONSUMED WITH ANGER, 12 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:33,567 DISAPPOINTMENT, AND THE GIGGLES. 13 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:34,868 - THIS STUFF IS CALLED PARTY HARD-Y, 14 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,237 BUT DON'T LET THE NAME FOOL YOU, 15 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,172 BECAUSE IT'S SURPRISINGLY MELLOW. 16 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,443 - I'LL PASS. I NEED A CLEAR HEAD. 17 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,246 - FOR WHAT, YOUR NEXT DIATRIBE 18 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,848 ABOUT HOW MUCH YOUR FRIENDS SUCK? 19 00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:50,684 - YES! - COME ON. 20 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,953 IT'LL HELP SMOOTH YOU OUT. 21 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:56,056 THEN WE CAN DISCUSS THE POINTLESS NOTHINGNESS OF LIFE. 22 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,259 - COLLIN WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE ME TO MAKE THE JUMP 23 00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:01,028 FROM MY TRAUMA TRAIN ONTO HIS GOOD TIME EXPRESS. 24 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:04,465 SO WHAT WAS HOLDING ME BACK? NOTHING. 25 00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:07,568 IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO EXHALE THE HYPOCRISY OF MY FRIENDS, 26 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,903 AND INHALE THE WONDERS OF AN HERBAL LIFE. 27 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,839 HIT ME. 28 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,212 [coughing] - YOU GOT IT. 29 00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:20,848 - WHILE MY ANXIETY HAD NOT YET LEFT THE CAR, 30 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,184 I WAS SUDDENLY READY TO WAX POETIC 31 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:25,986 ON THE TRIVIAL NATURE OF BACKSTABBING FRIENDS. 32 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:29,157 I WAS HOPEFULLY ABOUT TO BE CALM, COOL, AND... 33 00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:32,260 [siren chirps] 34 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:34,195 CONVICTED. 35 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,433 - DO YOU REALIZE HOW LUCKY YOU ARE 36 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,869 THAT I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH OFFICER MERCADO? 37 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:44,872 AND THAT HE DROVE YOU HOME INSTEAD OF THE STATION? 38 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:47,575 - YES, DAD, I KNOW. 39 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:50,378 EVIDENTLY, SOME HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS WERE WORTH KEEPING. 40 00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:52,213 - MM, DID YOU SAY HI TO JERRY FOR ME? 41 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:53,814 - LACE, I THINK KEEPING IT SHORT AND SWEET 42 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,316 WAS IN EVERYONE'S BEST INTERESTS. 43 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,417 - SHOULD I GO TO MY ROOM NOW? 44 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,819 both: NO! 45 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:01,455 - NOW, WHAT DID YOU LEARN TONIGHT? 46 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,757 - I LEARNED TO MAKE FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES. 47 00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:05,926 - [laughs] - WHAT'S SO FUNNY? 48 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:09,230 - SHE SAID, "HIGH PLACES." 49 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,398 MM, OH, CHIPS? 50 00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:11,832 YES. - [chuckles] 51 00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:15,669 - JENNA, DON'T BE A SMARTASS. 52 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,639 YOU WERE JUST CAUGHT WITH AN ILLEGAL SUBSTANCE, 53 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,107 WHICH YOU SHOULD NOT BE SMOKING. 54 00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:22,310 - UNLESS YOU'RE AT HOME. 55 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,477 - I'M CONFUSED. 56 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,646 ARE YOU GUYS CONDONING MY EXPERIMENTATION? 57 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,780 - ABSOLUTELY NOT. 58 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,416 I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART ENOUGH NOT-- 59 00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:30,351 - TO GET CAUGHT. [snorts] 60 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:35,289 - WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 61 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,091 - WE'RE DISCIPLINING YOU. 62 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,761 - WITHOUT BEING HYPOCRITES. 63 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,365 - 'CAUSE YOU'RE BOTH HIGH. 64 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,536 - NO. - YES. 65 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,003 - WELL LISTEN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME. 66 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,039 I NEVER WANT TO BE IN THE BACK OF A COP CAR AGAIN. 67 00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:54,074 IT WAS TRAUMATIC. 68 00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:57,278 IF I EVER DECIDE TO DO SOMETHING DUMB, I WILL DO IT IN PRIVATE. 69 00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,513 - NO! THE-- - GOOD! IT-- 70 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,483 - CAN I GO TO MY ROOM NOW? both: YES. 71 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:05,786 - BUT, UH, LEAVE THE CHIPS. 72 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,621 - AND NO TV FOR A MONTH! 73 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:10,424 - NO TV FOR A MONTH? - OR UNTIL I GET PREGNANT. 74 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:13,261 I'VE BEEN WATCHING DOCUMENTARIES ON HOW INFRARED RADIO WAVES 75 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,863 EMITTED FROM TV SCREENS CAN INTERFERE WITH FERTILITY. 76 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:19,733 - SO YOU'RE WATCHING TELEVISION ABOUT NOT WATCHING TELEVISION. 77 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,369 THAT'S REALLY SMART. - I KNOW. 78 00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,771 [laughs] IT'S SO MUCH EASIER THAN READING A BOOK. 79 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,073 - YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE A BABY. - WHY? 80 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:28,141 - THERE ARE A MULTITUDE OF REASONS, 81 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,710 BUT LET'S START WITH THE OBVIOUS. 82 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,111 YOU'RE A TRAIN WRECK. 83 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,113 - [gasps] IS THAT ANY WAY TO TALK 84 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:36,284 TO THE WOMAN WHO IS RAISING YOU WHILE YOUR MOM IS OUT OF TOWN? 85 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:38,786 - UNCLE DAN IS PAYING YOU! 86 00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:41,755 - AND FOR GOOD REASON. YOU'RE A PAIN IN MY ASS. 87 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,324 ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN AND INSULT ME. 88 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,558 IF YOU DON'T WANT MY LOVE, 89 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,927 THEN I'LL JUST KEEP THE LUNCH I MADE YOU. 90 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,396 - NITRATES AND NICOTINE? 91 00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:50,298 - CIGS ARE APPETITE SUPPRESSANTS, 92 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:52,165 AND THAT MEAT IS PURE PROTEIN. 93 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,167 PERSONALLY, I DON'T FIND IT ALL THAT APPETIZING, 94 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,438 BUT THEN AGAIN, I'M NOT THE ONE WITH THE SLOW METABOLISM. 95 00:03:57,438 --> 00:04:00,308 - SLUT. - BITCH. 96 00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:03,477 HAVE A GOOD DAY, SWEETIE! 97 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,313 - AFTER MY CLOSE CALL WITH THE LAW, 98 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:06,747 ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH TAMARA AND MING 99 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,316 SEEMED LIKE PETTY MISDEMEANORS. 100 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,518 AND EVEN THOUGH I WANTED AN APOLOGY, 101 00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:14,755 MY BIGGER NEED WAS TO SHARE MY NIGHTMARE WITH WEED... 102 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,557 AND FIND OUT WHO THE HELL WAS SO 103 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,759 UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH MATTY. 104 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,096 IS MATTY DATING SOMEONE NEW? 105 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,965 - YOU DON'T GET TO ASK WHO MATTY IS DATING. 106 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,335 - BUT HER NAME IS DEVON. ARE YOU "DEVON-STATED"? 107 00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:29,503 - NO. MATTY CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS. 108 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:30,938 - BUT YOU CAN'T! 109 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,707 WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW WITH THIS "NONCHALANT-ITUDE"? 110 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,343 YOU'RE NOT WELCOME IN OUR WALK AND TALK. 111 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,578 - LOOKIT, I ALMOST GOT ARRESTED IN COLLINS'S CAR LAST NIGHT, 112 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:38,946 SO JUST GIVE ME A BREAK. 113 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,948 - WHILE YOUR PARK'N'NARC SOUNDS REALLY INTERESTING, 114 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,150 AND SO FITTING WITH YOUR NEW PERSONALITY-- 115 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,886 - WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. - IN FACT, WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR 116 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,355 ANYTHING BUT A BIG, FAT, "I'M SORRY." 117 00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:48,889 BECAUSE IF YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA FORGET 118 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:52,025 YOUR CRAZY-ASS AGRO-YEXTING, YOU'RE WRONG. 119 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,527 - NOBODY LIKES A YELL TEXT. 120 00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,062 - I DID NOT YELL TEXT. 121 00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,030 - THEN EXPLAIN THIS. 122 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,098 "DISLOYAL." 123 00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,600 - EXCLAMATION. - "UNSUPPORTIVE." 124 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,734 - EXCLAMATION. 125 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,835 - "DISLOYAL" AGAIN. 126 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,137 - EXCLAMATION. - OH, AND "TRAITOR," 127 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:07,040 SPELLED "T-R-8-E-R." 128 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,442 - 'CAUSE YOU WERE ANGRY, AND IN A HURRY. 129 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:11,745 - OKAY, SO MAYBE I WAS YEXTING, BUT I WAS FEELING A LITTLE-- 130 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,514 both: BETRAYED! - EXCLAMATION. 131 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:16,016 - DID YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE OUR NO-SHOW 132 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,618 HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH COLLIN, 133 00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,421 AND MAYBE WE HAD A GOOD REASON FOR NOT COMING TO YOUR BARBECUE? 134 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,022 AND WE WERE GOING TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU, 135 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,190 BUT YOU DIDN'T GIVE US A CHANCE 136 00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,625 BEFORE YOUR "PISS-APPOINTED" TIRADE BEGAN? 137 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:28,028 - TAMARA AND JAKE ALMOST BROKE UP OVER YOUR DANGEROUS LIAISON. 138 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,798 - EXCLAMATION! JAKE WAS FURIOUS 139 00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,400 I DIDN'T TELL HIM YOU WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR. 140 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,435 YOU KNOW WHY I DIDN'T TELL HIM? 141 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,536 'CAUSE OF GIRL CODE, 142 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,405 WHICH CLEARLY MEANS NOTHING TO YOU. 143 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:38,506 - WELL, LUCKILY FOR YOU, 144 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:40,474 GIRL CODE DOESN'T APPLY TO EX-FRIENDS. 145 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,076 - GREAT! 'CAUSE IT WAS EXHAUSTING BEING YOUR FRIEND! 146 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,545 - OH, AND YOU'RE SUCH A DREAM? 147 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,680 GOD, I AM SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR ENDLESS 148 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,049 AND HOPELESS QUEST TO BE POPULAR. 149 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,418 WAY TO SET YOUR GOALS HIGH, "T." 150 00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:54,522 - DON'T "T" ME. YOU KNOW WHAT, JENNA? 151 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:57,558 TAKE CARE! 152 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,926 - YOU TAKE CARE! 153 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:02,763 - SO YOU GUYS ARE BACK ON GOOD TERMS. 154 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:05,533 HEY, LOOK, WHY DON'T WE GET OUT OF DODGE AND TAKE THE EDGE OFF? 155 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,034 - YOU WANT TO DITCH? - OR SKIP. 156 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,469 IT'S ALL JUST SEMANTICS. 157 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,270 - I REALLY DON'T WANT TO PUSH MY LUCK TODAY. 158 00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,739 - SPREAD 'EM! 159 00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:15,776 JENNA HAMILTON, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR SKIPPING SCHOOL. 160 00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:19,847 YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT. 161 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,549 - ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME? 162 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,452 - A LITTLE. YOU KNOW WHAT? 163 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:27,087 MAYBE WE SHOULD PICK THIS UP AFTER SCHOOL. 164 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,089 - ARE YOU AFRAID OF P.D.A.? 165 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,091 - NO, I JUST... 166 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,560 I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE FOR ME 167 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,463 TO FRISK YOU HERE IN PUBLIC. 168 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:36,964 - WHY? 169 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,166 - BECAUSE I LIKE TO DO A THOROUGH JOB. 170 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,302 - COLLIN WAS ATTEMPTING TO DISTRACT ME FROM MY DRAMA, 171 00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:45,272 AND WITH THAT DISTRACTION, LUCKILY CAME SOME ACTION. 172 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,207 THE DAY COULD NOT END SOON ENOUGH. 173 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,476 - IT'S OVER. 174 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:51,078 I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE DOCTOR'S VISITS. 175 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,780 - BUT YOUR NECK IS CROOKED. 176 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:55,282 - IT'S JUST A LITTLE KINK. IT'LL STRAIGHTEN OUT. 177 00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,885 I THINK. - UGH, GROSS. 178 00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,019 - DOES IT LOOK THAT BAD? 179 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:02,222 - NOT YOUR NECK. RENTAL PROPERTIES. 180 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,491 I FEEL POOR. 181 00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,893 - YOU ARE POOR. 182 00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,661 WHEN DOES YOUR MOM GET BACK FROM EXHAUSTION CAMP? 183 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:10,097 - TONIGHT, THANK GOD! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WORSE, 184 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,365 LIVING ON A BUDGET, OR WITH A BITCH! 185 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,734 - I'D SAY THE BUDGET, 186 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:17,337 'CAUSE YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF EVERY DAY. 187 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:19,206 - HEY. - JACQUES, I'M SORRY. 188 00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:20,373 AND I KNOW YOU'RE SORRY, 189 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:21,842 AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ANYMORE. 190 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,544 I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU JENNA WAS A RANKSKANK, 191 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,045 BUT I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT GIRL CODE. 192 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,915 I JUST CAN'T TAKE FIGHTING WITH YOU AND HER AT THE SAME TIME, 193 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,349 SO PLEASE LET'S NOT FIGHT. 194 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:31,619 - I DIDN'T REALIZE WE WERE STILL FIGHTING. 195 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,090 - HEY. 196 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,425 - HEY. HELLO, DEVON. 197 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,293 - HEY. - WHAT'S GOING ON? 198 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,729 - JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF MY ANGER TOWARDS JENNA, 199 00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:42,930 BUT THAT'S NOT HAPPENING. 200 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,698 - IS THAT WHY SHE'S SITTING BY HERSELF? 201 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:47,200 - DON'T FEEL BAD FOR HER. - OKAY. 202 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,302 - DON'T, MATTY. - BUT IT'S JENNA. 203 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,238 - "EXSQUEEZE" ME, THAT'S NOT JENNA. 204 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,006 THAT'S THE GIRL THAT CHEATED ON YOU, 205 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,708 NOT TO MENTION, THAT GIRL ALMOST GOT ARRESTED. 206 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,544 - SHE GOT ARRESTED? 207 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,811 - SHE ALMOST DID. SAME THING. 208 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,147 - IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER, GO. 209 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,715 - YOU SURE? - YOU STILL CARE ABOUT HER. 210 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,551 WHICH TOTALLY MAKES SENSE. 211 00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,553 IF YOU DIDN'T, YOU WOULDN'T BE NEARLY AS CUTE. 212 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,558 - [sighs] 213 00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:11,625 both: BIG MISTAKE. 214 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,427 - I AM SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO. 215 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:26,373 - HI. - HI. 216 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,208 - IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 217 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:31,344 HEARD YOU GOT ARRESTED. 218 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,580 - BITCHES. 219 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:33,981 - COME ON, THEY'RE JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 220 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,916 AND SO AM I. THIS ISN'T YOU. 221 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,651 - NO, THIS IS ME. 222 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,752 THEY SHOULD MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS, 223 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,021 AND FRANKLY, SO SHOULD YOU. 224 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,624 SO GO BACK TO SLUMMING IT WITH YOUR REBOUND SKANK. 225 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,931 - GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT, JENNA. 226 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,667 I WAS SLUMMING IT WITH YOU. 227 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:58,739 - * WITHIN YOUR BOWL OF WISDOM * 228 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,774 - MY LIFE AS I KNEW IT WAS OVER. 229 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:03,143 SO THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING TO DO-- 230 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,112 REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE SITUATION, 231 00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:07,615 AND MY "JENN-EMIES." 232 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,416 - *YOU THINK YOU HAVE A KINGDOM... * 233 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,652 - WHICH WAS EASIER SAID THAN DONE. 234 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,325 - WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE? 235 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,493 - ALLY HAD A FIGHT WITH DAN. - AGAIN? 236 00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,663 DID HE FINALLY REALIZE YOU'RE DRAINING HIS BANK ACCOUNT? 237 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:25,398 - NO, I'M TRYING TO DRAIN HIM, FOR A BABY. 238 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,534 - BUT HE WISELY DOESN'T WANT ONE. 239 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,536 - GOD, IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO HAVE A BABY. 240 00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,171 - AND YOU, LITTLE BITCH, 241 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,773 ARE THE BEST ARGUMENT FOR ABORTION. 242 00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,709 - AGREED. - I'M GOING TO MY ROOM. 243 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:44,051 - WHAT'S UP HER BUTT? - SHE'S JUST...IN A MOOD. 244 00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:45,418 HON? 245 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,055 WOULD YOU PUT YOUR HEADPHONES ON SO THE ADULTS CAN TALK? 246 00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:51,091 - ARE YOU TWO THE ADULTS? 247 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,326 - AFTER GETTING RUBBED WRONG THROUGH THE DAY, 248 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:56,463 I WAS FINALLY READY TO GET RUBBED RIGHT. 249 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,142 - UGH, WISH THAT COP HADN'T TAKEN MY STASH. 250 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,911 - SORRY. 251 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,946 ACTUALLY, I THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE 252 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,314 TO FIND SOMETHING TO HOLD YOU OVER. 253 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,983 - REALLY? WHERE? 254 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,085 - MY VAG! 255 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:21,388 IT'S A LEMON, LACE. AND FREAKIN' IRONIC. 256 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:23,991 TO THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME I SPENT SWEATING GETTING PREGGO. 257 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:25,358 - OH. - NOT TO MENTION ALL THE MONEY 258 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,995 I SHELLED OUT ON PROPECIA WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS. 259 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,562 [laughs] 260 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,598 AND NOW THE DREAM IS DONE. 261 00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,901 - THAT IS NONSENSE. ADOPT. 262 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:36,069 - ADOPTING DEFEATS THE POINT. 263 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,672 I ONLY WANT A KID I CAN SCREW UP FROM THE START. 264 00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,540 - OH, THIS MAY BE A BLESSING, AL. 265 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:44,144 BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, THAT BABY WILL HOT BOX A CAR 266 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,013 AND ALMOST GET ARRESTED. 267 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,414 - JENNA GOT ARRESTED? 268 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,149 - [sputters] - SADIE. 269 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,685 WHY DON'T YOU GO HANG OUT WITH LITTLE BITCH? 270 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:54,087 - BECAUSE SHE'S A BAD INFLUENCE ON ME. 271 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,455 I'M APPALLED THAT YOU WOULD TELL ME 272 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,557 TO GO HANG OUT WITH A DELINQUENT. 273 00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,693 KIND OF A POOR PARENTING DECISION, AL. 274 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:01,995 - THEN GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK IN MY ROOM. 275 00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,567 - I'M GONNA SMOTHER HER WITH A PILLOW TONIGHT. 276 00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:17,577 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? 277 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,513 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? 278 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,615 STEALING YOUR PARENTS' STOCKPILE. 279 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,184 MUST BE A NEW LOW. 280 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,886 - MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 281 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,922 - LOSER GIRL BECOMES A LOSER BURNOUT. 282 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,358 YOU ARE SUCH A CLICHE. 283 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,760 - GIVE IT A REST. - WHY? 284 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,194 DID I HIT A NERVE? 285 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,196 - NOTHING YOU SAY COULD EVER GET UNDER MY SKIN. 286 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,899 - GOOD! THEN I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS. 287 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:42,169 COLLIN IS GONNA LEAVE YOU HIGH AND DRY, 288 00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,503 JUST LIKE YOU DID WITH MATTY, 289 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,273 BECAUSE WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND, 290 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,941 AND KARMA'S A BITCH. 291 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,877 - IS THAT WHY YOU'RE BROKE AND HOMELESS? 292 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:57,617 - AM I SUPPOSED TO FORBID HER TO S--[sighs] 293 00:11:57,617 --> 00:11:58,919 NEED SOMETHING? 294 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,988 - NO, I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO GET IN JENNA'S WAY. 295 00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:02,555 SHE SEEMS REALLY BUSY. 296 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,891 - DOING WHAT? 297 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,826 - SWIPING YOUR STASH. 298 00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,831 - SO NOW YOU'RE STEALING? - IT'S MORE LIKE BORROWING. 299 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,499 BESIDES, MOM SAID IF I NEEDED TO SMOKE, 300 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,434 I COULD SMOKE INSIDE THE HOUSE. 301 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,635 - I DID SAY THAT. 302 00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:17,637 [phone chirps] 303 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:18,705 - OH, I'M SORRY. 304 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,140 ARE WE INTERRUPTING SOMETHING? 305 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,142 - THAT'S MY PHONE! - ACTUALLY, IT'S MINE, 306 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,177 BECAUSE I BOUGHT IT AND I PAY THE BILLS. 307 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,147 COLLIN WAS OVER HERE TODAY? 308 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:28,481 - HE STOPPED BY AFTER SCHOOL. 309 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,017 - THAT KID IS A BAD INFLUENCE. 310 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,018 - YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM. 311 00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,152 - OH, I KNOW ENOUGH! 312 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,421 I DON'T WANT YOU SEEING HIM ANYMORE. 313 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,688 - KEV, LET'S NOT-- 314 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,825 - GO TO YOUR ROOM. 315 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,395 NOT YOU. 316 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:47,234 IT'S MINE. 317 00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:52,005 [sighs] 318 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:54,975 - MY PARENTS' HYPOCRISY WAS AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH. 319 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,543 NO PUN INTENDED. 320 00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:58,912 MY TOP DRAWER SCORE HAD SENT MY DAD PACING. 321 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,448 AND MY MOM, STRANGELY... [knock at door] 322 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,317 TO MY RESCUE. 323 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,954 - I THOUGHT YOUR DAD WAS BEING A LITTLE TOO HARSH. 324 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:10,123 I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I KNOW YOU'RE A GOOD KID, 325 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,126 AND I TRUST YOU. - THANK YOU. 326 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,427 - CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 327 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:15,662 - SURE. 328 00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,564 - JUST LAY LOW ON THE COLLIN FRONT 329 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:20,700 FOR A FEW DAYS, TILL THIS BLOWS OVER. 330 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,336 CAN YOU DO THAT? - NOT A PROBLEM. 331 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:26,106 - OKAY. 332 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:33,413 [buttons clicking] 333 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,950 - HEY, CAN YOU PICK ME UP? 334 00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,618 PERFECT. 335 00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,287 AND DON'T COME TO THE FRONT DOOR, 336 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,222 JUST TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HERE. 337 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,930 - I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, YOU KNOW? 338 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,032 - MM-HMM. 339 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,166 - WHY DOESN'T MY DAD TRUST ME? 340 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,601 FIRST MY FRIENDS, AND NOW MY DAD? 341 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:57,337 ARE ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS CONDITIONAL NOW? 342 00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,540 - IT'S NOT FAIR. - [sighs] 343 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,675 PEOPLE BREAK UP, BUT YOUR FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO STAY 344 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,977 ON YOUR SIDE, NOT START HANGING OUT 345 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:05,678 WITH YOUR EX'S NEW SOCCER SLUT. 346 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,981 DID I TELL YOU THAT DEVON PLAYS SOCCER TOO? 347 00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:09,049 HE WAS PROBABLY FLIRTING WITH HER 348 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,150 WHILE WE WERE STILL TOGETHER. 349 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,485 THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE MOVED ON SO FAST. 350 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,121 - HEY, THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME 351 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,389 YOU'VE BROUGHT UP MATTY AND YOUR FRIENDS. 352 00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,557 YOU'RE STARTING TO FIXATE. 353 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,393 - I'M--I'M NOT FIXATING. - TALK TO THEM. 354 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:23,596 OR DON'T TALK TO THEM, BUT... 355 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,565 MAYBE YOU SHOULD QUIT TALKING ABOUT IT. 356 00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:27,400 - I'M NEVER TALKING TO THEM AGAIN. 357 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,037 - SO LET IT GO. 358 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:32,072 HEY... 359 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:36,944 HOW ABOUT WE TAKE YOUR MIND OFF OF THIS? 360 00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:44,952 - THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. 361 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:47,787 - MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE YOU HOME SO YOU CAN DEAL WITH THIS. 362 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:50,723 - NO. NO, NO, NO. I'M SORRY. 363 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,592 I'LL SHUT UP NOW. 364 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,028 - MOM, YOU LOOK GREAT! - I'M ECSTATIC. 365 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,829 - BECAUSE YOU FINALLY GOT SOME REST? 366 00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,365 - OH, HARDLY. 367 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:01,068 - BUT WASN'T THAT THE POINT OF EXHAUSTION CAMP? 368 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,335 - OH, IT WAS A SPA, HONEY. 369 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,504 AND I WAS ONLY THERE FOR A WEEK THIS TIME. 370 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,174 - BUT YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOR ALMOST A MONTH. 371 00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:08,808 - YEAH, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? 372 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,979 - SANTA FE. - WHAT THE HELL IS IN SANTA FE? 373 00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,481 - MY BOYFRIEND. - SO FOR WEEKS, 374 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,682 I'VE BEEN LEFT ALONE WHILE YOU'VE BEEN 375 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,517 SHACKING UP WITH SOME HIPPY? 376 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,986 - YOU WEREN'T LEFT ALONE. 377 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:22,689 YOU HAD CONSUELA, AND UNCLE DAN, AND...ABBY. 378 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:25,492 - ALLY. - AND FRANCOIS IS NOT A HIPPY. 379 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:26,793 HE'S A HEALER. 380 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:29,429 - WELL, HE'S NOT LIVING WITH US. - THAT'S RIGHT, 381 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:33,266 BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO BE LIVING WITH HIM IN SANTA FE. 382 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:37,037 - OVER MY DEAD BODY. NO WAY! 383 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:39,306 - ARE YOU REALLY GONNA MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU? 384 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:42,109 AGAIN? CUT ME SOME SLACK. 385 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,777 [sighs] I'M THE ONE WHO'S LOST EVERYTHING. 386 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,046 - OH, AND I LOST NOTHING? 387 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,380 - ACTUALLY, YOU LOST THREE POUNDS 388 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,648 FROM THE LUNCHES I MADE YOU. 389 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,017 - I THOUGHT WHEN YOU GOT BACK 390 00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:52,585 WE COULD SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER. 391 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,254 - OF COURSE. 392 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,923 IT'S JUST GONNA BE THE TWO OF US... 393 00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,125 ON THE PLANE. 394 00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,627 NOW GO GET YOUR THINGS. 395 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,295 - I THINK I'D RATHER STAY HERE TONIGHT. 396 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,763 - SADIE. - IT'S OKAY. 397 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,865 I CAN TAKE HER TO SCHOOL. 398 00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,101 - FINE. 399 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,703 SADIE, I WILL MEET YOU AT SCHOOL TOMORROW, 400 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:14,641 AND WE CAN SIGN THE TRANSFER PAPERS. 401 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,644 - [bleep] ME. 402 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,823 - ARE YOU STILL THINKING ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS? 403 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,959 - NO. AND I WASN'T. 404 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,728 I HAD FINALLY LEFT MY HEAD AND WAS STARTING TO PROCESS 405 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,664 HOW FAR WE'D GOTTEN IN COLLIN'S BED. 406 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,199 - HEY, WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. 407 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:42,935 - I DIDN'T KNOW IF I WAS READY TO ADD ANOTHER NOTCH TO MY BELT, 408 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,072 OR IF I EVEN WANTED TO. 409 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:46,706 - YOU DON'T WANT TO, 410 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,242 AND I DON'T WANT TO UNLESS YOU DO. 411 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:50,777 SO IT'S COOL. 412 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,179 - BUT IT WASN'T COOL, 413 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,081 AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE COLLIN. 414 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,416 I COULDN'T LOSE COLLIN. 415 00:16:56,416 --> 00:17:00,187 SO I HAD TO DO WHAT I HAD TO DO TO KEEP HIM. 416 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,189 HEY. 417 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:08,628 DO YOU HAVE A CONDOM? 418 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,264 - ARE YOU SURE? - YEAH, I'M SURE. 419 00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:29,516 I HAD JUST HAD MY FIRST AFTER MY FIRST, 420 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,718 AND I NEEDED TO ADDRESS THE UNDRESSING. 421 00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,858 I REALLY NEED TO TALK. 422 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:45,832 - I AM DONE TALKING. 423 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:46,966 - MOM, PLEASE, JUST LET ME SAY SOMETHING-- 424 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,568 - NO, STOP. YOU NEED TO LISTEN. 425 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:52,472 I DEFENDED YOU. I TRUSTED YOU. 426 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,674 AND YOU BROKE THAT TRUST. 427 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,476 - I KNOW, BUT I CAN EXPLAIN. 428 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,845 - EXPLAIN IT TO YOUR DAD WHEN YOU WAKE HIM UP 429 00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:02,315 AND YOU TELL HIM THAT YOU SNUCK OUT! 430 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,952 JENNA, GO. NOW! 431 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:10,923 - HONESTLY, I'M SHOCKED... 432 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,660 AND THRILLED YOU'RE TRANSFERRING! 433 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:17,230 WE ARE REALLY GONNA MISS YOU. 434 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,632 - I WANT TO EMANCIPATE. 435 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,369 - SORRY TO INTERRUPT. SADIE, YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH 436 00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:24,637 AND YOUR ANXIETY MEDS. - KEEP IT. 437 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,006 - EMANCIPATING ISN'T ACTUALLY AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS. 438 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:29,176 YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE A PROCLAMATION. 439 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,743 YOU STILL NEED SOMEWHERE TO STAY. 440 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:31,844 - I'LL STAY AT LISSA'S. 441 00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,746 - SORRY, ALMOST OUT OF HERE, 442 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:34,914 BUT I NEED CLARITY-- 443 00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,684 DO YOU WANT ME TO KEEP YOUR LUNCH OR YOUR MEDS? 444 00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,819 - BOTH. 445 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,888 - YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GUARDIAN OVER 18, 446 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,590 AND YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE ANY GUARDIAN. 447 00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:44,824 I MEAN, IF WE'RE GONNA DO THIS RIGHT, 448 00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:47,093 YOU'LL NEED SOMEONE SUPERFICIAL, 449 00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:51,298 BRUTALLY HONEST, BITCHY, WEALTHY, FEARLESS-- 450 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:53,366 - WAIT A SECOND. THAT'S ME. 451 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:56,769 THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I DESCRIBE MYSELF ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE. 452 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:59,706 - DO YOU WANT HER? 453 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,908 - OH, I DON'T KNOW. 454 00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:08,215 MAYBE. 455 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:09,682 YES! [laughs] 456 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,117 YOU SEE, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO HAVE A BABY... 457 00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:12,552 - OH. - GOD, NO. 458 00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,287 - BUT BABIES ARE A LOT OF WORK, 459 00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:17,790 AND SADIE CAN WIPE HER OWN ASS. 460 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:21,728 - GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE... 461 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,796 SOLD! SADIE IS YOUR NEW BABY. 462 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,769 - WELL, THIS SEEMS LIKE A FINE IDEA. 463 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,804 CALL ME WHEN YOU GET SETTLED. 464 00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,606 - I'M SETTLED. 465 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,943 - WELL, THEN, UM-- [chuckles] 466 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,679 YOU LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU NEED. 467 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,282 - I TRIED. 468 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,484 - WHAT? 469 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:47,053 - NOTHING. 470 00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:50,089 - * NEVER WEAR IT OUT 471 00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:52,692 * NEVER SHAKE IT OFF 472 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,494 - IF I THOUGHT ALMOST BEING ARRESTED 473 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:57,364 WAS THE LOWLIGHT OF MY WEEK, I WAS WRONG, 474 00:19:57,364 --> 00:20:00,700 BECAUSE MY REALITY FELT LIKE SOLITARY CONFINEMENT. 475 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,002 AND THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK OUT OF MY PRISON 476 00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:05,805 WAS TO DO THE ONE THING I DIDN'T WANT TO DO-- 477 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:10,076 - HEAD'S UP. - APOLOGIZE. 478 00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:14,180 UNFORTUNATELY, THEY WEREN'T EXACTLY AIDING OR ABETTING. 479 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,819 HEY, LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE. 480 00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:22,355 - ARE YOU SURE? - YES. 481 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,957 I JUST NEED TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF. 482 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:28,361 - * IN THE DARKNESS 483 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:33,032 * MAYBE I WON'T EVEN GO TO WORK THAT DAY * 484 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:37,870 * I DON'T CARE IF I'M IN TROUBLE AT ALL * 485 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,309 - NEXT, ON AWKWARD... - I TRIED TO STAY OUT OF IT, 486 00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:43,676 BUT I CAN'T JUST SIT BACK AND WATCH JENNA DRIFT 487 00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,345 INTO AMANDA BYNES-VILLE. 488 00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,379 - SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 489 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,114 - MY AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL VIDEO. 490 00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:52,752 - AN UBER-TRAGIC TALE ABOUT A LOSER GIRL WHO WANTS TO DIE, 491 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:56,222 CALLED WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT JENNY? 492 00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:58,257 - YOU'VE GOT TO BE [bleep] KIDDING ME.